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[theme song]
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ANNOUNCER: "The Dick Van Dyke Show,
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starring Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey Amsterdam, Larry
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Matthews and Mary Tyler Moore.
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Swoosh.
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[phone rings]
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Almost there, keep ringing.
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Hello.
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Hi, Jer, what's keeping you?
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I'm all ready.
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Hey, did you check the lodge?
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What they say?
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5 inches of new powder on 6 feet of packed snow.
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[exclaims] Is that good?
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Well, Jerry, listen.
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Come on, come on.
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I'm getting tired of this living room ski.
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[chuckles] I wanna get up on that mountain.
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OK, yeah.
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Oh, boy.
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Oh, boy.
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Honey, Jerry said that there's--
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there's at least 5 inches of brand new powder
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on 6 feet of packed snow.
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Jerry said that's fast, very fast.
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[laughs]
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Hey, honey.
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Ah, you sure you don't mind if I go alone?
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Rob, you asked me that question at least a dozen
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times in the last half hour.
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What do you want me to say?
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Well, what you really think.
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Darling, I've told you that I don't mind your going.
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Now what more can I say?
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Well, just once, I would like to hear you say
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it like you really meant it.
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Do I give you the impression that I don't mean it?
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Very, very clearly.
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Well, I'm sorry.
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Then I'll try to say it more convincingly.
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I don't mind that you and Jerry are going skiing this weekend
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and I hope you both have a wonderful time.
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All right.
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Boy, if you feel that way, I'll just stay home then.
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Rob, you're, ah, 48 hour weekend is now down
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to 47 hours and 15 minutes.
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So if you're going, darling, please go
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and have a good time up there.
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How can I have a good time up there when
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you're down here in this mood?
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What mood?
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I'm smiling.
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Honey, your teeth are smiling, but your lips are very tense.
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You're gonna get me angry in a minute, Rob.
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ROB PETRIE: Good, good.
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Maybe then I'll find out what you're really thinking.
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All right.
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All right, I'll tell you what I'm really thinking.
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Now let's have it.
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You're mad because you're not going along, right?
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Not at all.
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I am upset because you may break a leg and end up in a hospital.
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You-- you can't mean that.
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Rob, Jerry is an expert skier and you've never
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been on skis in your life.
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Which is the point of the whole trip, honey.
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Jerry's gonna teach me.
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Yeah, I know you, Rob.
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The first minute up there, you'll
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be trying to compete with Jerry and you'll break something.
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You wanna hear what you're talking?
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Like my mother.
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OK, all right, insult me all you want.
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Rob, I happen to know you.
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You are very competitive when it comes to your athletic prowess.
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Well, yeah, I'm competitive and I'm pretty darn well
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coordinated too.
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Rob, I haven't forgotten how many times you've
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tripped over this one step.
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You have got to be joking.
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Darling, you may be an All-American athlete,
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but you are also a tripper.
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Honey, this-- this is a step.
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There are no steps on the big mountains.
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But there are bumps.
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Oh, yeah.
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Yeah, there's bumps-- bumps.
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And the bumps will have snow on them
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and I will glide over them in my slippery skis.
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Shoo.
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See, you're going too fast already.
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Honey, what are you trying to say,
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that I shouldn't go skiing simply because I'm
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liable to hurt myself?
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Yes.
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All right, my plans for the weekend
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do not include any broken bones.
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Now I promise.
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Rob, will you promise me you'll
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only use the beginner's slope?
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Oh, come on, honey.
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Oh, Rob, please promise you won't go down the big slopes.
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Please.
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Well, I may not go down the big slope,
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but I am certainly not going to promise you that I won't.
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But you have to.
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Honey, what's the matter with you?
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Did you have a dream or something?
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Don't tell me you had a dream that I broke my leg.
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No, both legs and an arm and a nose and a wrist,
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and I don't know what all.
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I couldn't look.
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Honey, will you stop that, please.
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Oh, Rob.
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Maybe you think it's silly to use dreams this way,
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but my womanly intuition tells me I'm right.
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Womanly intuition is highly overrated.
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Well, that may be, but I just happen to have a second sense
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about some things.
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Hi, Jerry.
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Hi, Laura
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How'd-- how'd-- how'd--
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I saw him through the window.
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Hey, come on, Rob.
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Let's go get your gear in the car.
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The slopes are waiting.
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Honey, please don't worry about me.
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I'm gonna be fine.
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Now you'll see.
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Oh, don't worry, Laura.
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Why, in five hours, I'll have this man, here, skiing down
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those slopes like a Norwegian.
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Oh, Jerry.
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Please don't let him go down the slopes.
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You know what a tripper he is.
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He's only a beginner and he's gonna--
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Would you like to have Jerry warm my milk
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and tie my shoelaces for me too?
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Jerry, for crying out loud, would you tell her
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I'm not gonna break a leg?
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It's guaranteed, Laura.
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Why, Rob's too well coordinated for that sort of silliness.
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Come on, Rob, you can fight with them later.
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Let's go.
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You see that-- you see that?
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You're the only one who has no faith in me at all.
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Jerry says I'm too coordinated--
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All right, all right.
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That's a step, that's not a mountain.
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You put snow on it, you'll see how well I do.
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[groans]
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They said they were going away for a 48-hour weekend.
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They've been gone for 51 hours and 10 minutes.
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Where are they?
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Probably sitting in the car, cursing
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the bumper to bumper traffic.
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You're not worried, are you?
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Well, Rob did go up to a mountain,
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and mountains are high and slippery
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and icy and treacherous.
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My Jerry's up there too.
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You don't see me worrying.
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Well, your Jerry is a skier and my Rob is a tripper.
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Laura, Rob's sensible.
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He won't do anything he thinks is foolish.
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Ordinarily, he won't.
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But this weekend, he just might do something that's foolish.
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What do you mean?
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I challenged him not to.
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Oh.
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If Rob fell off that mountain, I was the one who pushed him.
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MILLIE HELPER: Laura.
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Oh, yes.
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I pushed my husband off a mountain.
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If he broke anything, it'll be my fault.
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He's not gonna break anything.
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Mhm, ha.
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Millie, when he left here, he was pretty angry.
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He might break a leg just to cause me pain.
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Laura, Rob loves you.
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He'd rather cut off an arm, then break a leg to cause you pain.
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Millie, I'm worried.
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Well, there's nothing to worry about.
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Listen, I gotta tuck the little ones in bed.
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I'll be right back.
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Oh, my gosh, I promised Richie I'd tuck him in 15 minutes ago.
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You see how upset I--
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Laura, if you want to tuck Richie in,
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you better come over to my house because you gave him permission
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to sleep with Freddy.
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You see-- you see how upset I let him get me?
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A mother doesn't even know where her own child is.
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Come on.
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No, I can't go with you.
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Why not?
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Rob may call.
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Well, he knows we'll be together.
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If he doesn't get you here, he'll call next door.
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That's true, let's go.
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[phone rings]
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[hurried footsteps]
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Hello.
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Hello.
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Hello.
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Jerry hung up, Rob had an accident.
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Who did you just speak to?
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No one, but that was Jerry and Rob, had an accident.
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MILLIE HELPER: Laura, there was no one on the phone.
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How did you know it was Jerry and Rob had an accident?
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- It's obvious. - It is?
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Well, don't you see?
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No.
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Well, first of all, I know Rob's ring.
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Rob's ring?
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And that wasn't it.
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How can you tell?
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Because after 9 o'clock, Rob never lets the phone ring
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more than four times.
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This one rang six times.
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Rob had a skiing accident and Jerry was
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calling to tell me about it.
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I can't accept that.
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Laura, you're just not making any sense.
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Well, then who was it?
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Well, I don't know.
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But if it was them, they'll call my house.
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You're right, let's get over there.
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(SIGHS)
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[phone rings]
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Hello.
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Who is it?
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What is it, Patty?
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Well, tell the kids to get out of the tub and all boats in.
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What?
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When? - What is it?
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Jerry called here and tried to get us.
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But no one was home, so he called there?
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Jerry called here and tried to get us.
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But there was no one home, so he called there.
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How did you know?
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He's gonna call back, isn't he?
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Is he gonna call back?
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He's gonna call back.
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OK.
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Yeah, well, bye-bye, Patty.
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I'll be right home.
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[drops phone into cradle]
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I wonder what Jerry wanted to tell us.
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That Rob fell off a mountain.
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That's impossible.
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How can you be so sure?
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Well, because he couldn't possibly have found him yet.
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Did they call yet?
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No.
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Millie, you think Rob's in the hospital too, don't you?
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No, I don't think he's in any hospital.
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And I don't think there's any reason
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for you to think so either.
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Oh, why did I ever say to Rob that he's a tripper?
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Millie, if he fell off a mountain
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and they ever find him, I'll never speak to him again.
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Where is he and why doesn't he call?
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What was that, Doctor?
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Another subdural hematoma, I'm afraid.
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Fifth one this week.
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Excuse me, miss.
267
00:10:24,465 --> 00:10:25,266
Oh, there you are.
268
00:10:25,366 --> 00:10:26,234
How are you feeling?
269
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,201
Oh, I'm fine.
270
00:10:27,301 --> 00:10:28,102
How's my buddy?
271
00:10:28,202 --> 00:10:29,303
Oh, he's gonna live.
272
00:10:29,403 --> 00:10:30,705
He's in there with the doctor now.
273
00:10:30,805 --> 00:10:31,639
Oh, fine.
274
00:10:31,739 --> 00:10:33,174
Ah-- ah, you can't go in there.
275
00:10:33,274 --> 00:10:34,342
When will the doctor be finished with him?
276
00:10:34,442 --> 00:10:35,810
Well, he's practically done.
277
00:10:35,910 --> 00:10:37,411
Oh.
278
00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,413
Listen, um, what exactly did happen out there on that slope?
279
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:41,716
Mr. Petrie wasn't very clear on the detail.
280
00:10:41,816 --> 00:10:44,118
Well, it was just a freak accident, like on a highway.
281
00:10:44,218 --> 00:10:45,820
Only instead of a four car pileup,
282
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,089
it was a four people pile up
283
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,524
How did that pile up start?
284
00:10:49,624 --> 00:10:51,359
Well, when we were coming down the big slope--
285
00:10:51,459 --> 00:10:54,161
first time for my friend, Rob, but he was doing beautifully.
286
00:10:54,262 --> 00:10:56,430
He was sailing along until he came to this turn.
287
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,099
Well, he makes the turn, OK, but then he
288
00:10:58,199 --> 00:10:59,500
bumped right into another skier who
289
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:00,868
had just tripped over a goat.
290
00:11:00,968 --> 00:11:01,769
A goat?
291
00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:03,304
Yeah, a big billy goat.
292
00:11:03,404 --> 00:11:05,973
Lying there, I thought it was an old man, you know.
293
00:11:06,073 --> 00:11:07,642
Well, Rob piled into the first guy.
294
00:11:07,742 --> 00:11:10,611
I piled into Rob, and some poor schnook piled into me.
295
00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:12,246
The only one who walked away from the accident
296
00:11:12,346 --> 00:11:13,748
was the billy goat.
297
00:11:13,848 --> 00:11:15,683
Well, you're all rather lucky considering.
298
00:11:15,783 --> 00:11:16,684
Yeah.
299
00:11:16,784 --> 00:11:17,785
Whatever happened to the first guy?
300
00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:19,086
What did he end up with?
301
00:11:19,186 --> 00:11:21,122
Oh, a broken ankle and two cracked ribs.
302
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,056
Ooh.
303
00:11:22,156 --> 00:11:23,124
Doctor.
304
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,292
Oh, are you Mr. Petrie's friend?
305
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:25,326
Yes, I am.
306
00:11:25,426 --> 00:11:27,795
Well, he's all yours now.
307
00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:29,063
He's a very lucky fellow.
308
00:11:29,163 --> 00:11:30,364
Ah, nurse, I'll need you on orthopedics.
309
00:11:30,464 --> 00:11:31,399
- Oh, yes, Doctor. - Thank you.
310
00:11:31,499 --> 00:11:32,767
Oh, bye-bye, sir. Good luck.
311
00:11:32,867 --> 00:11:33,601
Oh, thanks.
312
00:11:33,701 --> 00:11:35,469
Thanks for everything, Nurse.
313
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:36,671
Oh, Rob, let me help you.
314
00:11:36,771 --> 00:11:38,072
That's all right, Jer, I can manage.
315
00:11:38,172 --> 00:11:39,307
I can manage.
316
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,245
Oh, my gosh, Rob.
317
00:11:44,345 --> 00:11:47,882
I must say, you look just fine.
318
00:11:47,982 --> 00:11:48,883
How are you, Jer?
319
00:11:48,983 --> 00:11:50,151
Oh, I'm all right.
320
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:51,419
I got off cheap, just a sprained wrist.
321
00:11:51,519 --> 00:11:52,587
What did the doctor say you had?
322
00:11:52,687 --> 00:11:54,388
The same thing, it's a sprain.
323
00:11:54,488 --> 00:11:55,723
A sprained what?
324
00:11:55,823 --> 00:11:56,757
A sprained body.
325
00:11:59,293 --> 00:12:01,395
A sprained body?
326
00:12:01,495 --> 00:12:03,364
I never heard of a sprained body before.
327
00:12:03,464 --> 00:12:05,499
Well, that's what I got.
328
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,734
But where does it hurt?
329
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:10,905
You see that?
330
00:12:11,005 --> 00:12:12,073
Yeah.
331
00:12:12,173 --> 00:12:16,344
It's the only place it doesn't hurt!
332
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:18,412
Hey, Rob, the doctor didn't really say you
333
00:12:18,512 --> 00:12:19,680
had a sprained body, did he?
334
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:22,883
No, he said I had something in Latin,
335
00:12:22,984 --> 00:12:25,486
but it all adds up to that same thing sprains,
336
00:12:25,586 --> 00:12:28,623
strains, contusions, bruises in general,
337
00:12:28,723 --> 00:12:31,926
all over black and blueness.
338
00:12:32,026 --> 00:12:33,027
But there's nothing broken?
339
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,596
Just my spirit.
340
00:12:35,696 --> 00:12:36,998
Listen, Rob, why don't you sit down?
341
00:12:37,098 --> 00:12:40,468
Don't touch me!
342
00:12:40,568 --> 00:12:42,370
Did you-- did you call the girls?
343
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,205
Yeah, I called both places, but I couldn't get them.
344
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:45,773
I talked to Patty, though.
345
00:12:45,873 --> 00:12:47,108
You didn't tell your daughter about the accident, did you?
346
00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:48,142
No, no, I figured they'd find out
347
00:12:48,242 --> 00:12:49,744
soon enough when we got home.
348
00:12:49,844 --> 00:12:52,413
Jer, why do they ever have to find out?
349
00:12:56,617 --> 00:13:00,554
Jer, I don't look like I've been in an accident, do I?
350
00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:04,358
Well, no, not when you stand still.
351
00:13:04,458 --> 00:13:05,726
What's the point of not telling them?
352
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,662
I just don't want Laura to know.
353
00:13:07,762 --> 00:13:08,396
Ooh!
354
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:10,064
No, I got it.
355
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:11,432
Oh, it's all right.
356
00:13:11,532 --> 00:13:13,200
It's all right.
357
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:14,669
[groans]
358
00:13:14,769 --> 00:13:16,370
Rob, I don't see why you don't want to tell Laura.
359
00:13:16,470 --> 00:13:17,838
I mean, this is really foolish, Rob.
360
00:13:17,938 --> 00:13:19,507
We can get out of a lot of homey details
361
00:13:19,607 --> 00:13:21,442
this way like-- like taking out the garbage.
362
00:13:21,542 --> 00:13:22,943
Boy, this can be terrific, Rob.
363
00:13:23,044 --> 00:13:25,646
Listen, I can make this last six weeks, maybe longer.
364
00:13:25,746 --> 00:13:28,182
And you, Rob, why, you're good for-- for at least six months--
365
00:13:28,282 --> 00:13:29,450
- Jer. - Yeah, Rob.
366
00:13:29,550 --> 00:13:30,685
Don't move around so much.
367
00:13:30,785 --> 00:13:32,153
Oh.
368
00:13:32,253 --> 00:13:34,155
Listen, Rob, are you sure you don't want to sit down?
369
00:13:34,255 --> 00:13:35,156
Come on.
370
00:13:35,256 --> 00:13:36,624
No, Jerry, don't touch me.
371
00:13:36,724 --> 00:13:38,059
That may be all right for you, Jer,
372
00:13:38,159 --> 00:13:40,561
but all that's gonna get me are a lot of cold stares
373
00:13:40,661 --> 00:13:42,096
and I told you sos.
374
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:44,365
You mean to tell me that you're gonna try to hide
375
00:13:44,465 --> 00:13:46,000
your sprained body from Laura?
376
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:48,903
I am not gonna give her the pleasure of gloating.
377
00:13:49,003 --> 00:13:50,371
Rob, I think you're going a little too
378
00:13:50,471 --> 00:13:52,139
far to soothe your manly pride.
379
00:13:52,239 --> 00:13:55,543
What man-- [groans]
380
00:14:01,982 --> 00:14:02,817
Jerry.
381
00:14:02,917 --> 00:14:03,818
Yeah, Rob.
382
00:14:03,918 --> 00:14:05,319
If she finds out about this, I will
383
00:14:05,419 --> 00:14:07,188
be at the mercy of her womanly intuition
384
00:14:07,288 --> 00:14:08,789
for the rest of my life.
385
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:09,690
Jerry.
386
00:14:09,790 --> 00:14:10,458
Yeah, Rob.
387
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:11,726
Please don't tell Millie.
388
00:14:11,826 --> 00:14:12,927
OK, OK.
389
00:14:13,027 --> 00:14:14,528
But is it all right if we just call home once more
390
00:14:14,628 --> 00:14:15,996
and tell the girls that will be a few hours late?
391
00:14:16,097 --> 00:14:17,264
- Good idea. - OK.
392
00:14:17,364 --> 00:14:18,632
- I'll wait here. - I'll be right back.
393
00:14:21,869 --> 00:14:22,737
Oh, Rob. - Huh?
394
00:14:22,837 --> 00:14:24,271
Do-- do you have any change?
395
00:14:24,372 --> 00:14:25,539
Wait a minute, I'll see.
396
00:14:31,045 --> 00:14:35,216
Rob, do you really expect to hide your condition from Laura?
397
00:14:35,316 --> 00:14:36,751
The doctor said most of the soreness
398
00:14:36,851 --> 00:14:38,619
well be gone in a couple of days.
399
00:14:38,719 --> 00:14:40,187
Well, here, let me help you.
400
00:14:40,287 --> 00:14:42,690
Jerry, I have got to learn to do these things for myself.
401
00:14:45,826 --> 00:14:47,995
Mhm, here.
402
00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:48,996
I hope that's a dime.
403
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:51,265
Yeah, it's a dime.
404
00:14:51,365 --> 00:14:52,733
ROB PETRIE: Hey, Jer. - Yeah, yeah.
405
00:14:52,833 --> 00:14:53,501
ROB PETRIE: Wait-- wait-- wait a minute.
406
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,069
Wait a minute.
407
00:14:55,169 --> 00:14:57,872
Listen, I think it's a much better idea if I call myself.
408
00:14:57,972 --> 00:15:00,407
I know Laura's gonna be a lot more worried than Millie is.
409
00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:01,876
Right.
410
00:15:01,976 --> 00:15:03,310
She pictures me in some strange hospital all crippled
411
00:15:03,411 --> 00:15:04,712
and banged up.
412
00:15:04,812 --> 00:15:08,549
[laughs and groans] I'm all right, I'm all right.
413
00:15:08,649 --> 00:15:10,050
Right in here.
414
00:15:10,151 --> 00:15:11,418
Oh, let me get out of the way.
415
00:15:11,519 --> 00:15:13,220
[groans]
416
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,155
Sorry, Rob, sorry.
417
00:15:14,255 --> 00:15:15,189
Easy, now.
418
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:16,257
Easy does it. - All right.
419
00:15:16,357 --> 00:15:17,191
-
420
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:18,192
No, I'm in.
421
00:15:25,199 --> 00:15:26,033
Jer.
422
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:27,168
Yeah, Rob, what?
423
00:15:27,268 --> 00:15:28,269
Will you put the dime in for me?
424
00:15:28,369 --> 00:15:30,337
Oh, right.
425
00:15:30,437 --> 00:15:31,639
You want me to dial the operator?
426
00:15:31,739 --> 00:15:33,841
No, I can dial for myself, Jerry.
427
00:15:33,941 --> 00:15:34,842
OK, OK.
428
00:15:38,112 --> 00:15:39,380
- Jerry. - Yeah, Rob.
429
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,848
Will you run it around for me?
430
00:15:47,221 --> 00:15:49,523
Laura, you don't have to sit right by the phone.
431
00:15:49,623 --> 00:15:52,059
It's going to ring, I know it.
432
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:53,260
[phone rings]
433
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:54,195
Rob!
434
00:15:54,295 --> 00:15:55,129
Yes.
435
00:15:55,229 --> 00:15:56,497
She knows it was me.
436
00:15:56,597 --> 00:15:59,333
How-- how did you know it was me?
437
00:15:59,433 --> 00:16:02,069
Oh, just a hunch.
438
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,070
How are you?
439
00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:04,839
Oh, just fine.
440
00:16:04,939 --> 00:16:05,873
How are you?
441
00:16:05,973 --> 00:16:06,941
Oh, fine.
442
00:16:07,041 --> 00:16:07,641
That's nice.
443
00:16:07,741 --> 00:16:09,143
How-- how's Rich?
444
00:16:09,243 --> 00:16:10,244
He's fine.
445
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:11,178
How's Jerry?
446
00:16:11,278 --> 00:16:12,213
Fine.
447
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:15,716
Are you all right?
448
00:16:15,816 --> 00:16:19,119
Don't you mean, did I break a leg?
449
00:16:19,220 --> 00:16:20,421
Did you?
450
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,256
No, I didn't.
451
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:23,257
That's fine.
452
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:24,458
[chuckles]
453
00:16:24,558 --> 00:16:25,693
Oh, you mean, you're not disappointed
454
00:16:25,793 --> 00:16:27,761
your little prophecy didn't come true?
455
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:28,596
Rob.
456
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:29,530
ROB PETRIE (ON PHONE): Yes.
457
00:16:29,630 --> 00:16:30,898
When you coming home?
458
00:16:30,998 --> 00:16:32,433
In a few hours.
459
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:33,868
LAURA PETRIE (ON PHONE): Why so Late?
460
00:16:33,968 --> 00:16:36,604
We, ah-- we had a little trouble with the car.
461
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,038
Well, shall I wait up for you?
462
00:16:38,138 --> 00:16:38,973
Oh, no.
463
00:16:39,073 --> 00:16:39,907
You go to bed.
464
00:16:40,007 --> 00:16:40,975
You don't wait.
465
00:16:41,075 --> 00:16:44,445
I'll, ah-- I'll try to sneak in quietly.
466
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:45,813
Very well.
467
00:16:45,913 --> 00:16:48,015
Does Jerry have anything he wants to tell me?
468
00:16:48,115 --> 00:16:50,718
Um, does Jerry have anything to say to Millie?
469
00:16:50,818 --> 00:16:52,152
- Ah, Jerry. - Yeah, Rob.
470
00:16:52,253 --> 00:16:53,921
Do you have anything you want tell Millie?
471
00:16:54,021 --> 00:16:56,156
Oh, just tell her that I-- that I love her.
472
00:16:56,257 --> 00:16:57,291
OK.
473
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,293
Um, Jerry says that he loves her.
474
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:00,561
And tell her to-- to--
475
00:17:00,661 --> 00:17:01,896
that I love her and to wait up for me.
476
00:17:01,996 --> 00:17:04,064
I want to give her a big kiss when I get home.
477
00:17:04,164 --> 00:17:08,002
He says that he loves her and for her to wait up.
478
00:17:08,102 --> 00:17:13,040
And he, ah-- he wants to give her a kiss when he comes home.
479
00:17:13,140 --> 00:17:17,845
Jerry says he loves you and to wait up for him.
480
00:17:17,945 --> 00:17:20,147
He wants to give you a big kiss.
481
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:23,584
Well, tell him I can't wait and to hurry home.
482
00:17:23,684 --> 00:17:26,086
You tell him anything you wanna tell him.
483
00:17:26,186 --> 00:17:29,156
She says she's waiting and-- and to hurry home.
484
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:32,459
She, ah, says she's waiting and to, ah, hurry home.
485
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:33,561
Good.
486
00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:37,164
Ah, anything else?
487
00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:38,232
Goodbye, Rob.
488
00:17:38,332 --> 00:17:41,101
Goodbye, Laura.
489
00:17:41,201 --> 00:17:42,136
He hates me.
490
00:17:44,204 --> 00:17:45,139
Boy, Rob.
491
00:17:45,239 --> 00:17:46,573
You know, you were pretty rough on her.
492
00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:47,875
Are you really that angry with Laura?
493
00:17:47,975 --> 00:17:49,877
No, I'm not, but I want her to think I am.
494
00:17:49,977 --> 00:17:50,844
Why?
495
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:52,446
If she makes up with me immediately,
496
00:17:52,546 --> 00:17:53,581
she's gonna wanna hug me.
497
00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:55,115
Oh, I see.
498
00:17:55,215 --> 00:17:59,286
[inaudible] and not for at least a couple of days, Jerry.
499
00:17:59,386 --> 00:18:00,454
Oh, OK.
500
00:18:00,554 --> 00:18:01,488
Come on, let me help you out of here.
501
00:18:01,589 --> 00:18:02,356
Come on. - Well, don't.
502
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:03,691
I know, I know.
503
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,693
You've got to learn to do things for yourself.
504
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:06,593
That's right, Jerry.
505
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:07,828
Right.
506
00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:12,266
And without a cane.
507
00:18:20,074 --> 00:18:20,708
Jerry.
508
00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,042
Yeah, Rob.
509
00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:23,043
Get me the cane.
510
00:18:30,017 --> 00:18:31,118
Boy, Rob, I just don't know how
511
00:18:31,218 --> 00:18:32,586
you're gonna keep Laura from finding
512
00:18:32,686 --> 00:18:34,254
out about your sprained body.
513
00:18:34,355 --> 00:18:37,491
If I get her so mad, she's gonna avoid me completely.
514
00:18:37,591 --> 00:18:38,859
It won't work.
515
00:18:38,959 --> 00:18:41,295
It will if you will keep your big mouth shut.
516
00:18:41,395 --> 00:18:42,763
Well, what about this?
517
00:18:42,863 --> 00:18:45,232
Tell Millie you strained it fixing a tire.
518
00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:46,834
Oh, that's a good idea.
519
00:18:46,934 --> 00:18:48,602
That way, it'll keep my record as a skier clean for the year.
520
00:18:48,702 --> 00:18:50,004
Boy.
521
00:18:50,104 --> 00:18:51,238
Hey, Rob, let me help you out with your jacket.
522
00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:52,406
Jerry, [inaudible].
523
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:53,407
OK, OK, right, right.
524
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:54,441
Good night, Rob.
525
00:18:54,541 --> 00:18:55,442
And good luck hiding the body.
526
00:18:55,542 --> 00:18:56,677
Thanks.
527
00:19:03,984 --> 00:19:05,753
LAURA PETRIE: Rob, is that you?
528
00:19:11,325 --> 00:19:14,428
[groans]
529
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:17,431
LAURA PETRIE: Rob.
530
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,767
ROB PETRIE: How are you, Laura?
531
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:21,468
I didn't hear you come in.
532
00:19:21,568 --> 00:19:22,736
Well, I, ah--
533
00:19:22,836 --> 00:19:24,505
I didn't want to wake you.
534
00:19:24,605 --> 00:19:25,472
Did you have a nice time?
535
00:19:25,572 --> 00:19:26,473
Oh, great.
536
00:19:26,573 --> 00:19:28,676
Just, ah-- just, ah, great.
537
00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:30,678
Ah, you all right?
538
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:31,779
I'm fine.
539
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:32,713
Why do you ask?
540
00:19:32,813 --> 00:19:34,782
Well, you look cold.
541
00:19:37,584 --> 00:19:39,753
Well, it is a little cold in here.
542
00:19:39,853 --> 00:19:41,488
Yeah, boy, it certainly is.
543
00:19:41,588 --> 00:19:46,260
What-- what are you doing in that flimsy nightgown?
544
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:47,294
Well, I--
545
00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:51,665
I thought that-- ah, don't you remember
546
00:19:51,765 --> 00:19:52,800
this nightgown, darling?
547
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,835
Oh, no, I don't-- no, I don't.
548
00:19:54,935 --> 00:19:56,503
Why don't you go put on your long woollies
549
00:19:56,603 --> 00:19:57,738
before you catch a cold?
550
00:20:01,108 --> 00:20:03,811
But darling, this is the nightgown that you brought
551
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:05,312
me back from Chicago that time.
552
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:06,246
Don't you remember?
553
00:20:06,346 --> 00:20:07,181
Oh, yeah.
554
00:20:07,281 --> 00:20:10,384
Um, Chicago, it's very cold there.
555
00:20:10,484 --> 00:20:11,785
I remember that.
556
00:20:11,885 --> 00:20:13,921
Honey, why don't you go put on something sensible?
557
00:20:14,021 --> 00:20:17,291
But, darling, I haven't worn this in a long time.
558
00:20:17,391 --> 00:20:18,425
Well, I don't blame you.
559
00:20:18,525 --> 00:20:21,228
It's much too tight for this type of weather.
560
00:20:21,328 --> 00:20:23,397
You, ah-- you, ah-- you go to bed.
561
00:20:23,497 --> 00:20:24,732
Well, are you coming?
562
00:20:24,832 --> 00:20:28,702
No, I'm going to watch some television.
563
00:20:28,802 --> 00:20:30,537
Well, would you like me to fix you
564
00:20:30,637 --> 00:20:31,839
some milk and cookies, darling?
565
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,373
No, Laura.
566
00:20:33,474 --> 00:20:36,477
I wish you would just put some clothes on and go to bed.
567
00:20:36,577 --> 00:20:37,544
All right!
568
00:20:40,514 --> 00:20:41,381
[door slams]
569
00:20:41,482 --> 00:20:44,017
Good, good, good, good.
570
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,586
She's not gonna hug me tonight.
571
00:20:45,686 --> 00:20:47,087
She may never hug me again either.
572
00:20:49,523 --> 00:20:50,457
Your pajamas!
573
00:20:53,227 --> 00:20:54,461
Good, good good
574
00:20:54,561 --> 00:20:55,496
Your blanket!
575
00:20:58,765 --> 00:21:02,369
[door slams again]
576
00:21:17,184 --> 00:21:22,890
[groans] Oh, I hope I get this off before I faint.
577
00:21:29,396 --> 00:21:32,599
[keeps groaning]
578
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:47,614
[whistling]
579
00:21:50,784 --> 00:22:03,797
And your-- what-- what are the--
580
00:22:03,897 --> 00:22:04,698
What?
581
00:22:04,798 --> 00:22:05,732
What are those?
582
00:22:05,832 --> 00:22:06,667
What do you mean?
583
00:22:06,767 --> 00:22:07,868
What do you mean?
584
00:22:07,968 --> 00:22:09,269
Those bandages!
585
00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:10,103
What bandages?
586
00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:13,941
Those, ah, ski-- ski protection.
587
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:16,643
All skiers wear these-- these things.
588
00:22:16,743 --> 00:22:17,578
They're warm.
589
00:22:17,678 --> 00:22:20,848
It covers your pores.
590
00:22:20,948 --> 00:22:23,250
Rob, those are bandages.
591
00:22:23,350 --> 00:22:26,853
You had an accident and you were afraid to tell me.
592
00:22:26,954 --> 00:22:30,424
Well, you forecasted pretty accurately, honey.
593
00:22:30,524 --> 00:22:31,859
I didn't forecast, Rob.
594
00:22:31,959 --> 00:22:33,093
I caused it.
595
00:22:33,193 --> 00:22:34,361
Well, are you all right?
596
00:22:34,461 --> 00:22:35,462
It looks just terrible.
597
00:22:35,562 --> 00:22:37,898
No, no, just minor aches and pains, honey.
598
00:22:37,998 --> 00:22:40,734
It's, ah, nothing serious.
599
00:22:40,834 --> 00:22:41,768
What happened?
600
00:22:41,869 --> 00:22:42,703
I, ah--
601
00:22:42,803 --> 00:22:43,770
I tripped.
602
00:22:43,870 --> 00:22:45,405
You tripped?
603
00:22:45,505 --> 00:22:48,008
Yeah, over another skier and a goat.
604
00:22:48,108 --> 00:22:51,812
It's a-- it's a long story.
605
00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:52,946
Honey, I don't--
606
00:22:53,046 --> 00:22:54,214
Oh, Rob.
607
00:22:54,314 --> 00:22:56,316
Honey, if you love me, don't touch me.
608
00:22:59,286 --> 00:23:03,624
Honey, if you must touch me, just kiss me right there
609
00:23:03,724 --> 00:23:06,093
on the corner of-- of my mouth.
610
00:23:06,193 --> 00:23:09,730
It's the only place that doesn't hurt.
611
00:23:09,830 --> 00:23:13,233
Other side, other side, other side.
612
00:23:13,333 --> 00:23:14,434
OK.
613
00:23:14,534 --> 00:23:17,170
Would you reach around behind me and get my cane?
614
00:23:30,918 --> 00:23:31,818
Rob?
615
00:23:31,918 --> 00:23:33,153
ROB PETRIE: Yeah.
616
00:23:33,253 --> 00:23:35,155
One or two marshmallows in your hot chocolate?
617
00:23:35,255 --> 00:23:36,156
ROB PETRIE: No marshmallows.
618
00:23:36,256 --> 00:23:37,691
I can't open my mouth.
619
00:23:40,394 --> 00:23:43,130
Honey, where's my-- where's my pajamas?
620
00:23:43,230 --> 00:23:44,998
LAURA PETRIE: Oh, they're in the living room, darling.
621
00:23:45,098 --> 00:23:46,400
I'm get them for you in a minute.
622
00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:48,302
ROB PETRIE: Never mind, I'll get them myself.
623
00:24:06,420 --> 00:24:08,555
LAURA PETRIE: One hot chocolate coming up.
624
00:24:08,655 --> 00:24:09,456
Don't come in!
625
00:24:09,556 --> 00:24:10,390
Don't come in!
626
00:24:10,490 --> 00:24:11,391
LAURA PETRIE: Why?
627
00:24:11,491 --> 00:24:13,493
Because I'm a pathetic looking sight.
628
00:24:13,593 --> 00:24:16,463
If you see me, you're gonna wanna hug me,
629
00:24:16,563 --> 00:24:18,632
and I can't stand any hugging right now.
630
00:24:18,732 --> 00:24:19,666
Let me get under the covers.
631
00:24:19,766 --> 00:24:21,335
Don't come-- you came in.
632
00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:26,573
Rob, you beautiful legs, too?
633
00:24:26,673 --> 00:24:27,874
You-- you gonna hug me?
634
00:24:27,975 --> 00:24:31,044
I have to hug you.
635
00:24:31,144 --> 00:24:33,313
I'll be gentle, though.
636
00:24:33,413 --> 00:24:35,649
There, how does that feel?
637
00:24:35,749 --> 00:24:38,151
Terrible.
638
00:24:38,251 --> 00:24:42,823
But I got to learn to do these things for myself.
639
00:24:42,923 --> 00:24:46,426
[theme song]
43540
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