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[MUSIC - THEME, "THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW"]
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ANNOUNCER: "The Dick Van Dyke Show,"
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starring Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey Amsterdam, Larry
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Matthews, and Mary Tyler Moore.
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[sneezing]
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Bless you.
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Oh, thank you.
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[sneeze]
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Bless you.
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Thanks.
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What did Richie want?
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Another glass of water.
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That's four glasses of water in the last two hours, now.
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What do they have for dinner?
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A box of salt or something?
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Come on, Rob, you came back just
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in time to play the wrong card and lose the rubber.
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We'll see about that.
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All right.
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And the dummy plays the nine of diamonds.
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Come on, honey, now just play the right card
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and we can at least save this one game.
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Ah-ha!
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That's it.
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The rest of these are good, that's game, and rubber.
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Why did you play a club?
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Because all I have are clubs.
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Oh, well then should have bid clubs.
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[sneeze]
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Shall we play another rubber?
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No, I don't think Rob's nose can take another game.
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Look at the way he's sneezing. - Oh, Jerry.
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- I'll do that, Millie. - That's all right.
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What are you babbling about, Jerry?
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Well, Rob, I'm not a psychiatrist,
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but didn't you notice that every time you
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lost a game you sneezed?
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I lost too, Jerry, and I'm not sneezing.
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But honey, you don't take defeat as emotionally as Rob.
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You see, he's suppressing his anger,
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and that anger had to go someplace.
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So it came out his nose?
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Right.
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Honey, but that sneeze is not a real sneeze.
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It's psychosomatic, brought on by hostility.
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Jerry, I read that article in the Sunday
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magazine section too, Jerry.
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Not everything in the whole world is psychosomatic.
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You see how defensive he is?
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You're angry, all right.
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I'll bet you feel like sneezing right now.
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Well, that's the trouble with those articles
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in the newspaper.
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Guys like you read them, and you start analyzing everybody.
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Just because I sneeze a couple of times,
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he's got me pegged as an angry neurotic.
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Well, for your information, buddy, I am not angry.
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[sneeze]
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You see, you see?
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You say you're not angry, but you're sneezing,
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and you're on the verge of shouting.
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I bet you won't even admit who you're angry with.
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I know who I'm getting angry with.
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Oh, let him go, Millie's, he's having fun.
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All right, doctor.
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Who am I angry with?
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You read that article.
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Obviously not as thoroughly as you did, doctor.
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All right, who did the article say that I'm a-agree with--
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[sneeze]
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Well, all right.
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Me?
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Laura?
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You are very angry with your wife.
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Oh, Jerry.
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Look, I hate to smash your little theory,
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but I'm not angry at Laura.
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As a matter of fact, I might go so far to say
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that I am very fond of her.
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That is precisely why you are hiding your hostility.
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That's why you sneeze.
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I don't understand.
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Well, you shouldn't have said that.
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Now we'll explain.
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I would like very much to hear his explanation.
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All right, Jer.
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The way I see it, you sneeze because you
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didn't want to shout and be hostile towards someone
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you love.
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You'd rather sneeze than say the awful things that are
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locked up in your subconscious.
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You see, your nose acted like a safety valve.
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It blew up before your mouth did.
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Well, Jerry, your diagnosis may be right,
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but I say it's wrong.
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I sneeze because my nose itched.
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[sneeze] See?
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My nose itches.
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Rob, a nose itch, a sneeze, hives, shingles, a stiff neck,
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sore back.
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All the things that can be brought
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out by holding in anger.
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Deep anger that only people you love can bring out of you.
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Now you know I was right, Rob, if you
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really read that article.
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I read it, and the theory may be right,
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but you have the wrong patient, doctor.
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Honey, come on let's make some coffee and sweet rolls.
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I'll put some in the oven.
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[sneeze]
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Rob, are you catching a cold?
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Oh, I don't think so.
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Boy, that darn Jerry.
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I give out with a couple of sneezes
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he picked me as a wife hater.
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Everybody's an amateur psychiatrist.
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Let me feel your forehead.
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You don't have a temperature.
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What do you think is making you sneeze?
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Oh, I don't know.
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Until told me to go in and give Richard that glass of water
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I felt fine.
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Rob, were you upset that I asked you to go into Richie?
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Well, no, of course not, honey.
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Is funny though.
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I sneezed earlier when you sent me
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in there to get Richard a glass of water the first time.
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Hope I'm not getting allergic to my own son.
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Rob, you were angry that I sent you to Rich, weren't you?
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No, of course not, honey.
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Don't tell me you're going to get
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serious about Jerry's theory.
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Well, darling, it's just that you
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sneezed right after I asked you to do something
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you didn't want to do.
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Oh, now, come on.
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Since when don't I want to give Rich a drink of water?
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And then you sneezed when I played a club
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and lost the bridge game.
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You are angry with me, aren't you?
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Laura, you know very well I don't
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get that upset over a game of bridge.
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Well, is it possible you're upset
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with me for something else?
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Laura, I am not angry with you.
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You sneezed.
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My nose itched.
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Are you sure?
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I should know whether my nose itches--
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[sneeze]
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Or not.
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Why are you angry with me?
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Because you take Jerry's kidding so seriously.
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Shh.
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And I want to tell you once and for all, I not
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[sneeze]
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Not, I repeat, not angry with you.
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[sneeze]
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There.
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You see?
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I am not going to discuss it any further.
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I love you and that is it!
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Ah!
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Ooh!
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Achoo-ow!
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Achoo-ow!
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Look at this!
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[sneezing]
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Rob.
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[sneeze]
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Rob, wake up.
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Mama.
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Mama, too much ragweed, Mama.
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Rob, wake up.
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Not your mom.
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Mama, make papa mow the ragweed.
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I'm not your mom.
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I-- what--
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who-- what?
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Honey, what are you doing up?
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You sneezed me up.
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Oh, I dreamed I was in a field of ragweed.
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And you wouldn't give me a handkerchief.
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I wouldn't give--
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well, that's nice.
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Oh, honey.
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Don't start that all over again.
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I'm not angry with you.
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Then why did you dream I wouldn't
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give you a handkerchief?
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I don't know.
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Why don't you call up Jerry and ask him.
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Then why did you ask your mother to tell
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your father to mow the ragweed?
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Who asked all that?
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You did, in your sleep.
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Now why did you dream that?
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Honey, I am not a psychiatrist.
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Would you mind lying back there let, me get some sleep, please?
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[sneeze]
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You are angry with me.
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Laura, how did you figure that?
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That was a hostile sneeze.
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If you don't let me get some sleep,
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you're going to hear a hospital scream.
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I'm sorry.
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He could have asked me to mow the ragweed,
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but no, he asked his mother.
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Oh, boy.
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The next time there's any ragweed demo in my dreams.
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[sneeze]
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Mm-hm.
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What does mm-hm mean?
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I suppose you're going to say that wasn't hostile.
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You're right.
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Maybe you're right.
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From now on, when I sneeze, I'll try to sneeze more friendly.
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A--hi-there!
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All right.
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All right, just tell me this.
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If you're not sneezing at me, what is making you sneeze.
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Oh, I don't know.
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It doesn't feel like a cold.
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Feels like a hay fever allergy I had when I was a kid.
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Well, this isn't the hay fever season.
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Oh, I feel like I'm allergic to something.
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A marriage, perhaps?
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To me?
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Oh Laura, would you leave psychoanalyzing
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me till in the morning, please?
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Hm.
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All right, what does the hm mean?
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Now who's getting psychological?
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I just said a plain, uncomplicated hm.
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All right, now Laura, once and for all.
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I love you.
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I love being married.
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I love Rich.
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There is nothing psychological in my sneezing,
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and I have no hidden hostilities toward you.
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Then why did you dream I wouldn't
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give you a handkerchief?
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Down deep, you must think I don't care about you.
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And dreaming about your mother and father,
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boy, if that's not psychological.
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LAURA: Where are you going?
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I'm going to go to the den and get some sleep.
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No, you're not.
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You're going there to sneeze thoughts that I can't hear.
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I am going to go to the den to get
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some sleep so that you don't have
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to stay up all night saying--
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[sneeze]
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Gesundheit.
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Yes.
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[sneeze]
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See you later.
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Well, now, let's see.
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You've got a reaction to animal dander and goldenrod,
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but you're not allergic to wool or any other fabric,
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and it isn't food.
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Unless you haven't told me all you ate yesterday.
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Did I say that I had orange or pineapple juice for breakfast?
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Orange, I think.
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Are you sure?
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Well, let's have another look at your scratch tests.
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Orange juice, column four, number three.
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Orange juice, and it's negative.
269
00:09:52,733 --> 00:09:55,870
You got any pineapple back there.
270
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,805
I didn't test you for that, but I will tomorrow.
271
00:09:57,905 --> 00:09:59,040
Oh.
272
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,276
Now, is there any other food that you
273
00:10:02,376 --> 00:10:04,212
might have eaten yesterday?
274
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:06,047
I mean, that you've forgotten about?
275
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,616
Well, what did I tell about so far, Doctor?
276
00:10:08,716 --> 00:10:12,587
Oh, well, yesterday's menu included string beans,
277
00:10:12,687 --> 00:10:18,359
hamburgers, sweet roll, peanuts, ice cream, sardines, hot dogs,
278
00:10:18,459 --> 00:10:24,765
vanilla wafers, a coconut bar, potato leek soup, and raisins.
279
00:10:24,866 --> 00:10:27,034
Did I eat all that yesterday?
280
00:10:27,134 --> 00:10:30,104
That's your menu.
281
00:10:30,204 --> 00:10:36,944
Plus chocolate pudding, mushrooms,
282
00:10:37,044 --> 00:10:39,380
tomatoes, white flour, and mozzarella
283
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:42,250
cheese, and anchovies.
284
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,185
I don't remember eating all that stuff.
285
00:10:44,285 --> 00:10:45,753
Well, you said you had a pizza.
286
00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:48,189
Oh, Yeah.
287
00:10:48,289 --> 00:10:49,190
Very surprising.
288
00:10:49,290 --> 00:10:50,191
What is?
289
00:10:50,291 --> 00:10:51,459
That you're just sneezing.
290
00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:54,629
You should be very sick to your stomach.
291
00:10:54,729 --> 00:10:55,630
I should.
292
00:10:55,730 --> 00:10:57,098
Well, you can button your shirt now.
293
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:58,666
Oh, OK.
294
00:10:58,766 --> 00:10:59,867
Well now, let's see.
295
00:10:59,967 --> 00:11:02,737
You say you haven't sneezed since you left home.
296
00:11:02,837 --> 00:11:03,638
Right.
297
00:11:03,738 --> 00:11:04,772
Oh, sit.
298
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,274
Oh, thank you.
299
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:09,677
Now, has your wife changed her brand of toilet water,
300
00:11:09,777 --> 00:11:10,645
or perfume?
301
00:11:10,745 --> 00:11:13,848
No, she smelled the same for years.
302
00:11:13,948 --> 00:11:15,383
Why?
303
00:11:15,483 --> 00:11:17,084
Do you think I might be allergic to a perfume or something?
304
00:11:17,185 --> 00:11:18,319
Possible.
305
00:11:18,419 --> 00:11:20,254
Now, are you sure you haven't come
306
00:11:20,354 --> 00:11:22,456
in contact with animal fur?
307
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,992
A dog, a cat, or even a hamster?
308
00:11:25,092 --> 00:11:28,763
No, we've got a little catfish in the aquarium at home,
309
00:11:28,863 --> 00:11:29,864
but he's not too furry.
310
00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:36,871
What do you think it might be, Doctor?
311
00:11:36,971 --> 00:11:39,473
Well, I guess that there's something in your house
312
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:41,542
that's making you sneeze.
313
00:11:41,642 --> 00:11:42,910
Yeah.
314
00:11:43,010 --> 00:11:44,645
My wife thinks it's her.
315
00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:45,680
Oh?
316
00:11:45,780 --> 00:11:47,682
Yeah, she says that my sneezing is all
317
00:11:47,782 --> 00:11:49,317
psychological, that I'm repressing
318
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,352
some hidden hostility for her.
319
00:11:51,452 --> 00:11:53,387
Oh, did your wife read that article
320
00:11:53,487 --> 00:11:55,356
in the Sunday supplement too?
321
00:11:55,456 --> 00:11:58,993
No, but a loud mouthed neighbor did.
322
00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:01,629
Why don't you go through the rest of the day doing what you
323
00:12:01,729 --> 00:12:03,564
normally do, eating the foods you prefer,
324
00:12:03,664 --> 00:12:04,732
and I'll see you tomorrow.
325
00:12:04,832 --> 00:12:06,467
OK, fine doctor.
326
00:12:06,567 --> 00:12:09,637
I mean, there's no chance that my wife would be
327
00:12:09,737 --> 00:12:11,105
causing the sneezing, is there?
328
00:12:11,205 --> 00:12:14,308
Well, not unless you're allergic to her.
329
00:12:14,408 --> 00:12:15,576
What do you mean, allergic?
330
00:12:15,676 --> 00:12:17,211
You mean it's possible to be physically
331
00:12:17,311 --> 00:12:18,913
allergic to your wife?
332
00:12:19,013 --> 00:12:20,314
Well, it's been known to happen,
333
00:12:20,414 --> 00:12:22,183
but it's highly improbable in your case.
334
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,285
I wouldn't even let it cross my mind.
335
00:12:26,587 --> 00:12:27,955
Thank you, doctor.
336
00:12:28,055 --> 00:12:30,324
Oh, call me if you get another attack during the night.
337
00:12:30,424 --> 00:12:33,628
Well, yeah, yeah, I will.
338
00:12:33,728 --> 00:12:35,029
[laughing]
339
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:37,732
It's really possible for a guy to be allergic to his own wife?
340
00:12:37,832 --> 00:12:38,666
Yes.
341
00:12:38,766 --> 00:12:41,168
I know of one case where a fellow
342
00:12:41,268 --> 00:12:43,104
was so allergic that every time he kissed
343
00:12:43,204 --> 00:12:45,272
his wife he broke out in hives.
344
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,008
What did he do?
345
00:12:47,108 --> 00:12:48,409
He scratched a lot.
346
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:53,814
Thank you, Doctor.
347
00:12:58,619 --> 00:13:00,421
Laura, you know Jerry's not a psychiatrist.
348
00:13:00,521 --> 00:13:01,922
He's a dentist.
349
00:13:02,023 --> 00:13:04,191
Well, the man who wrote the article is a psychiatrist,
350
00:13:04,291 --> 00:13:05,459
and it made a lot of sense.
351
00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:07,528
Rob is hostile to me.
352
00:13:07,628 --> 00:13:09,563
He sneezed through dinner, through breakfast,
353
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,532
and right out the front door.
354
00:13:11,632 --> 00:13:13,034
I know, I heard him.
355
00:13:13,134 --> 00:13:14,402
I don't think it's hostility.
356
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:15,970
I think it's one of those 24 hour
357
00:13:16,070 --> 00:13:17,471
things that's going around.
358
00:13:17,571 --> 00:13:20,107
I hope so, because I just can't take another night
359
00:13:20,207 --> 00:13:21,676
of his sneezing at me.
360
00:13:21,776 --> 00:13:23,611
I'm going to kill that Jerry.
361
00:13:23,711 --> 00:13:25,179
But first I got to feed him.
362
00:13:25,279 --> 00:13:27,848
Listen, send Freddy home in about five minutes, will you?
363
00:13:27,948 --> 00:13:29,083
He's been here all day.
364
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:30,518
Don't apologize.
365
00:13:30,618 --> 00:13:32,053
Richie he practically lived at your house yesterday.
366
00:13:32,153 --> 00:13:33,587
Oh, they were angels.
367
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,222
They formed a new club and played in the garage all day.
368
00:13:35,322 --> 00:13:37,291
Oh, well the club moved to our garage today.
369
00:13:37,391 --> 00:13:38,793
Oh, I'll yell for them as I pass by.
370
00:13:38,893 --> 00:13:40,428
Yes, send mine in while you're at it.
371
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:43,064
OK, see you later.
372
00:13:43,164 --> 00:13:44,398
Freddy dinner!
373
00:13:44,498 --> 00:13:46,367
Richie, your mother wants you.
374
00:13:46,467 --> 00:13:47,668
Sneezing at me.
375
00:13:47,768 --> 00:13:49,003
Suppressing his hostility.
376
00:13:49,103 --> 00:13:50,971
Why doesn't he just come right out and yell at me
377
00:13:51,072 --> 00:13:53,107
and tell me what's on his mind if he's so upset.
378
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:55,276
I don't know how to cope with somebody just going to stand
379
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:56,777
there and sneeze at me.
380
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:58,813
Most ridiculous thing I ever heard of.
381
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,018
Hi, Mommy.
382
00:14:04,118 --> 00:14:05,319
Hi, Richie.
383
00:14:05,419 --> 00:14:07,321
Oh, boy, what a good hug.
384
00:14:07,421 --> 00:14:08,589
You have fun with Freddy today?
385
00:14:08,689 --> 00:14:10,057
Yeah, we made a new club.
386
00:14:10,157 --> 00:14:11,325
I'm the president.
387
00:14:11,425 --> 00:14:13,027
Oh, so you're the main one.
388
00:14:13,127 --> 00:14:13,994
No Freddy is.
389
00:14:14,095 --> 00:14:16,564
He's the king.
390
00:14:16,664 --> 00:14:18,199
Well, that sounds like a good club.
391
00:14:18,299 --> 00:14:19,800
Who else is in it?
392
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:23,204
Well, me and Freddy and-- and that's all.
393
00:14:23,304 --> 00:14:25,639
A king and a president, very exclusive.
394
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:28,175
Yeah, Mommy, can I grind the pepper into the salad?
395
00:14:28,275 --> 00:14:29,510
Well, dear, I already put some in,
396
00:14:29,610 --> 00:14:31,712
but I guess it could use some more.
397
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,084
All right, Rich, I think that ought to do it.
398
00:14:37,184 --> 00:14:39,653
You go wash up now and get ready for dinner, huh?
399
00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:40,654
OK.
400
00:14:45,793 --> 00:14:47,795
Well, now what's this for?
401
00:14:47,895 --> 00:14:51,031
For letting me and Freddy have our club in the garage today.
402
00:14:51,132 --> 00:14:52,333
Thank you, Mommy.
403
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:53,901
You're welcome, dear.
404
00:15:03,344 --> 00:15:04,545
Hi, honey.
405
00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:12,419
I said hi, honey.
406
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:13,854
I don't even get a kiss?
407
00:15:17,324 --> 00:15:19,827
[sneeze]
408
00:15:21,195 --> 00:15:22,329
The pepper.
409
00:15:22,430 --> 00:15:23,898
It's probably that pepper caused that.
410
00:15:23,998 --> 00:15:26,400
There was no pepper during the bridge game last night, Rob,
411
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:28,102
and no pepper in our bedroom.
412
00:15:28,202 --> 00:15:30,604
Yeah, well, that's true.
413
00:15:30,704 --> 00:15:32,339
How are you, honey?
414
00:15:32,439 --> 00:15:34,475
Fine.
415
00:15:34,575 --> 00:15:37,044
How's your nose today?
416
00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:40,481
Well, it's quiet anyway, thank goodness.
417
00:15:40,581 --> 00:15:43,884
I didn't even know I had one all day.
418
00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:45,519
Buddy and Sally thought I was kidding
419
00:15:45,619 --> 00:15:48,823
when I told them about last night's nasal hurricane.
420
00:15:56,730 --> 00:15:58,165
Did you see the doctor?
421
00:15:58,265 --> 00:16:00,034
Yeah, I saw him.
422
00:16:00,134 --> 00:16:01,302
What did he say?
423
00:16:01,402 --> 00:16:02,536
Well, he said--
424
00:16:09,910 --> 00:16:12,179
[sneeze]
425
00:16:17,918 --> 00:16:20,988
Well, he tested me for string beans
426
00:16:21,088 --> 00:16:24,024
and potato leek soup and chocolate pudding
427
00:16:24,124 --> 00:16:25,759
and anchovies and--
428
00:16:28,429 --> 00:16:29,630
[muffled sneeze]
429
00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:32,433
Did he check you for hidden hostilities?
430
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:35,135
[sneeze]
431
00:16:35,236 --> 00:16:36,770
Oh.
432
00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:40,140
My nose is tickling the same way I did last night.
433
00:16:40,241 --> 00:16:41,275
That's nice.
434
00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:42,276
I haven't sneezed all day, today.
435
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,211
Lovely.
436
00:16:44,311 --> 00:16:48,182
My gosh, I didn't even have to blow my nose all day.
437
00:16:48,282 --> 00:16:50,918
There is good news.
438
00:16:51,018 --> 00:16:52,887
Honey, give me a hug and a kiss.
439
00:16:52,987 --> 00:16:56,390
Not if you were the last man on Earth.
440
00:16:56,490 --> 00:16:58,325
Do I-- it's not for pleasure.
441
00:16:58,425 --> 00:16:59,326
Thank you.
442
00:17:01,762 --> 00:17:03,731
Sweetie, it's an experiment.
443
00:17:03,831 --> 00:17:07,034
Then go kiss a guinea pig!
444
00:17:07,134 --> 00:17:09,603
[sneeze]
445
00:17:09,703 --> 00:17:11,238
Look, I hope I'm wrong, but I was fine
446
00:17:11,338 --> 00:17:13,307
until I came home and gave you a hello kiss,
447
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,175
and I touched your hair.
448
00:17:15,276 --> 00:17:17,044
Honey, it's not hostility!
449
00:17:17,144 --> 00:17:21,582
Laura, the allergist things that I may be allergic to you.
450
00:17:21,682 --> 00:17:22,750
Allergic?
451
00:17:22,850 --> 00:17:24,752
Oh, Rob, you have to be joking.
452
00:17:24,852 --> 00:17:26,887
Honey, why would I joke?
453
00:17:26,987 --> 00:17:28,022
Let's kiss.
454
00:17:28,122 --> 00:17:29,790
Now if I am wrong, all you've lost is a kiss.
455
00:17:29,890 --> 00:17:31,125
This is ridiculous.
456
00:17:31,225 --> 00:17:32,159
I know it.
457
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,332
Hey, so far, so good--
458
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,167
[sneeze]
459
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:41,635
Oh my gosh.
460
00:17:41,735 --> 00:17:43,704
Honey, have you changed your perfume or anything?
461
00:17:43,804 --> 00:17:45,773
No damn allergic to you.
462
00:17:45,873 --> 00:17:47,341
Oh, Rob, if you're teasing me.
463
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,343
Honey, why would I tease about a thing like that?
464
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:50,277
I love you.
465
00:17:50,377 --> 00:17:51,512
I enjoy kissing.
466
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:52,446
Let's try it again.
467
00:17:52,546 --> 00:17:53,914
No, I'm afraid.
468
00:17:54,014 --> 00:17:55,449
Well, now don't worry, honey, I'm not going to give up
469
00:17:55,549 --> 00:17:56,650
kissing for sneezing.
470
00:18:02,423 --> 00:18:03,891
Let's try it again, all right?
471
00:18:03,991 --> 00:18:04,892
OK.
472
00:18:15,502 --> 00:18:18,372
[muffled sneeze]
473
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:21,575
Oh, Rob.
474
00:18:21,675 --> 00:18:22,876
Hi, Daddy!
475
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:25,846
Oh, hi, Rich, how are you, buddy?
476
00:18:25,946 --> 00:18:27,281
You bring me anything?
477
00:18:27,381 --> 00:18:29,316
Yeah, I brought a little bit--
478
00:18:29,416 --> 00:18:31,318
a-- a--
479
00:18:31,418 --> 00:18:34,788
[sneeze]
480
00:18:34,888 --> 00:18:37,624
Oh, I brought you a package of gum.
481
00:18:37,725 --> 00:18:38,559
Thank you, Daddy.
482
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:39,760
And bless you.
483
00:18:39,860 --> 00:18:41,495
You're welcome, Rich, and thank you.
484
00:18:41,595 --> 00:18:43,097
You're welcome.
485
00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:45,099
I just sneezed when I kissed him.
486
00:18:45,199 --> 00:18:46,667
I noticed that.
487
00:18:49,103 --> 00:18:50,437
Hey, Rich.
488
00:18:50,537 --> 00:18:52,106
How about another big hug for daddy.
489
00:18:52,206 --> 00:18:53,140
OK.
490
00:19:10,057 --> 00:19:12,393
[sneeze]
491
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:18,399
Oh my gosh, I'm allergic to my whole family.
492
00:19:18,499 --> 00:19:19,767
My wife, my son.
493
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:21,635
Oh, Rob, you just have to be wrong.
494
00:19:21,735 --> 00:19:23,604
Isn't it more likely that you're allergic
495
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,806
to fabric or pollen or dust?
496
00:19:25,906 --> 00:19:27,441
No, honey, I tested all those things.
497
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:28,575
They were all negative.
498
00:19:28,676 --> 00:19:29,910
Besides, there's fabric and pollen
499
00:19:30,010 --> 00:19:32,246
and dust all over the city, and in the office.
500
00:19:32,346 --> 00:19:33,781
The only time I sneeze is when I come
501
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:35,082
in contact with you and Rich.
502
00:19:35,182 --> 00:19:37,151
But you never reacted this way before.
503
00:19:37,251 --> 00:19:38,719
Well, they say there's been cases
504
00:19:38,819 --> 00:19:40,654
where a person can develop an allergic reaction
505
00:19:40,754 --> 00:19:44,024
to another person.
506
00:19:44,124 --> 00:19:46,560
Aw, honey.
507
00:19:46,660 --> 00:19:49,263
It's very, very rare, anyways.
508
00:19:49,363 --> 00:19:51,331
The only other thing I reacted positively to
509
00:19:51,432 --> 00:19:53,233
was goldenrod and animal fur.
510
00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:55,202
Well, there's no goldenrod around here,
511
00:19:55,302 --> 00:19:57,671
and the only animal fur is my mink stole.
512
00:19:57,771 --> 00:19:59,239
Yeah.
513
00:19:59,339 --> 00:20:01,241
Yeah, mink stole.
514
00:20:01,341 --> 00:20:02,276
That's animal fur.
515
00:20:02,376 --> 00:20:03,877
Oh, Rob, do you think that could be it?
516
00:20:03,977 --> 00:20:05,312
I don't know, but I'm gonna find out.
517
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,081
Oh, please be.
518
00:20:07,181 --> 00:20:08,415
[doorbell]
519
00:20:08,515 --> 00:20:10,284
Come on, baby, make me sneeze.
520
00:20:10,384 --> 00:20:11,318
Hi, Laura.
521
00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:16,857
Rob, what do you doing?
522
00:20:16,957 --> 00:20:17,825
What's he doing?
523
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:18,792
Look what he's doing.
524
00:20:18,892 --> 00:20:20,194
I'm testing.
525
00:20:20,294 --> 00:20:21,161
He's testing.
526
00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:23,197
He's thinking of buying mink towels.
527
00:20:23,297 --> 00:20:25,599
We'll tell you about it in a minute.
528
00:20:25,699 --> 00:20:28,602
Rob, do you feel anything?
529
00:20:28,702 --> 00:20:29,803
Not a think.
530
00:20:29,903 --> 00:20:30,871
What are you supposed to feel?
531
00:20:30,971 --> 00:20:32,406
An electric shock or something?
532
00:20:32,506 --> 00:20:35,309
No, I'm trying to find out if I have any reaction ani--
533
00:20:35,409 --> 00:20:37,311
[sneeze]
534
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:42,983
I'm not only allergic to my family,
535
00:20:43,083 --> 00:20:45,252
I'm allergic to my next door neighbor.
536
00:20:45,352 --> 00:20:47,888
But that's good.
537
00:20:47,988 --> 00:20:49,690
What are you talking about?
538
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:51,458
What's he talking about?
539
00:20:51,558 --> 00:20:52,526
I think I'm allergic to Jerry.
540
00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:53,560
What?
541
00:20:53,660 --> 00:20:54,528
You're not making any sense.
542
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:55,929
He's not making any sense.
543
00:20:56,029 --> 00:20:57,097
Jerry, give me a hug.
544
00:20:57,197 --> 00:20:58,132
A hug?
545
00:21:00,334 --> 00:21:01,401
Rob.
546
00:21:01,502 --> 00:21:02,970
[sneeze]
547
00:21:03,070 --> 00:21:05,539
Oh, oh, good, good.
548
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:07,574
Oh, all right Millie, you're next.
549
00:21:07,674 --> 00:21:08,475
What?
550
00:21:08,575 --> 00:21:09,409
Give me a hug.
551
00:21:09,510 --> 00:21:10,344
Laura?
552
00:21:10,444 --> 00:21:11,278
Do as he says.
553
00:21:11,378 --> 00:21:12,012
Hey!
554
00:21:12,112 --> 00:21:16,083
Laura says I have to.
555
00:21:16,183 --> 00:21:18,752
[sneeze]
556
00:21:18,852 --> 00:21:21,155
Oh, boy, now we're getting somewhere.
557
00:21:21,255 --> 00:21:22,289
What?
558
00:21:22,389 --> 00:21:23,290
All right.
559
00:21:23,390 --> 00:21:25,092
All you people who make me sneeze
560
00:21:25,192 --> 00:21:26,693
on that side of the room.
561
00:21:26,793 --> 00:21:28,795
Are you still trying to find out what's making you sneeze?
562
00:21:28,896 --> 00:21:30,964
Yeah, with your permission, Doctor.
563
00:21:31,064 --> 00:21:32,933
And whatever it is that's making me sneeze,
564
00:21:33,033 --> 00:21:36,703
is something that you three and Richie have in common.
565
00:21:36,803 --> 00:21:37,838
Well, why didn't you say so?
566
00:21:37,938 --> 00:21:39,506
I thought you were going mad.
567
00:21:39,606 --> 00:21:41,108
I thought he was going mad.
568
00:21:41,208 --> 00:21:44,144
What do you three have in common?
569
00:21:44,244 --> 00:21:45,646
We all live in New Rochelle.
570
00:21:45,746 --> 00:21:47,414
No, no.
571
00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:48,482
We all three hugged you.
572
00:21:48,582 --> 00:21:49,616
That's right.
573
00:21:49,716 --> 00:21:51,018
And I hugged Richie earlier.
574
00:21:51,118 --> 00:21:52,719
Maybe it's something we all touched.
575
00:21:52,820 --> 00:21:54,354
We all touched. Good.
576
00:21:54,454 --> 00:21:55,322
Good, good.
577
00:21:55,422 --> 00:21:56,423
Now.
578
00:21:56,523 --> 00:21:58,992
Jerry, what did you and Millie and Richie
579
00:21:59,092 --> 00:22:00,794
come into contact with lately?
580
00:22:00,894 --> 00:22:02,396
I don't know.
581
00:22:02,496 --> 00:22:03,330
My son Freddy.
582
00:22:03,430 --> 00:22:04,431
Ah-ha!
583
00:22:04,531 --> 00:22:05,365
Ah!
584
00:22:05,465 --> 00:22:06,500
Now, Jerry.
585
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,503
What did you and Millie and Richie and Freddy
586
00:22:09,603 --> 00:22:11,605
touch within the last hour, say.
587
00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:12,606
Now think hard.
588
00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:13,807
I don't have to think hard.
589
00:22:13,907 --> 00:22:15,576
The kitten.
590
00:22:15,676 --> 00:22:16,977
What kitten?
591
00:22:17,077 --> 00:22:18,779
Freddy and Richie's kitten.
592
00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:20,347
They're keeping a kitten?
593
00:22:20,447 --> 00:22:22,516
That's why they formed this club, to take care of the cat.
594
00:22:22,616 --> 00:22:24,618
One night Nog arrives, the next night [inaudible]..
595
00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:26,119
Yeah, we didn't know about it.
596
00:22:26,220 --> 00:22:27,854
I almost ran over it when I tried to put the car away.
597
00:22:27,955 --> 00:22:28,789
Jer, where is it now?
598
00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:29,923
It's in your garage.
599
00:22:30,023 --> 00:22:30,958
Well, that could be it, listen.
600
00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:32,359
Will you get it for me? And
601
00:22:32,459 --> 00:22:33,460
[sneeze]
602
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:34,461
I'm sorry.
603
00:22:37,564 --> 00:22:38,632
I got it, OK.
604
00:22:38,732 --> 00:22:40,067
OK.
605
00:22:40,167 --> 00:22:45,472
Now come here little one and make your daddy sneeze.
606
00:22:45,572 --> 00:22:47,241
[sneeze]
607
00:22:47,341 --> 00:22:48,475
Oh, good.
608
00:22:48,575 --> 00:22:49,376
[sneeze]
609
00:22:49,476 --> 00:22:50,677
Good.
610
00:22:50,777 --> 00:22:52,279
[sneeze]
611
00:22:52,379 --> 00:22:53,347
This is it.
612
00:23:04,658 --> 00:23:07,227
[sneezing]
613
00:23:13,967 --> 00:23:15,702
Almost finished?
614
00:23:15,802 --> 00:23:17,371
Yeah, honey, I'm almost finished.
615
00:23:17,471 --> 00:23:18,672
Well, at least one good thing came
616
00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:19,907
out of my having an allergy, I got
617
00:23:20,007 --> 00:23:21,375
a great sketch here for Alan.
618
00:23:21,475 --> 00:23:22,342
Read this.
619
00:23:22,442 --> 00:23:23,944
He develops an allergy to his wife.
620
00:23:24,044 --> 00:23:25,512
Well, I just hope whoever you get
621
00:23:25,612 --> 00:23:28,348
to play my part is sympathetic, understanding, and generally
622
00:23:28,448 --> 00:23:29,483
adorable.
623
00:23:29,583 --> 00:23:31,585
Well, that may be impossible to cast.
624
00:23:31,685 --> 00:23:33,320
'Course unless you'd like to play yourself.
625
00:23:33,420 --> 00:23:34,388
Oh, no, no, no.
626
00:23:36,790 --> 00:23:38,025
- Daddy? - Yeah Rich.
627
00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:39,059
Hey, what are you playing with?
628
00:23:39,159 --> 00:23:40,027
My electric razor?
629
00:23:40,127 --> 00:23:41,194
It's your old one.
630
00:23:41,295 --> 00:23:42,262
Oh, OK.
631
00:23:42,362 --> 00:23:43,230
Daddy?
632
00:23:43,330 --> 00:23:44,631
Just second, Rich, Daddy's writing.
633
00:23:44,731 --> 00:23:47,000
Alan goes ca-choo.
634
00:23:50,837 --> 00:23:52,205
OK, Rich, what do you want?
635
00:23:52,306 --> 00:23:54,207
Is it true what you said, that it's not the cat that
636
00:23:54,308 --> 00:23:56,009
makes you sneeze, it's the fur?
637
00:23:56,109 --> 00:23:58,145
That's right, Rich.
638
00:23:58,245 --> 00:24:00,614
Mommy, it's the fur that makes Daddy sneeze?
639
00:24:00,714 --> 00:24:02,049
Yes, dear.
640
00:24:02,149 --> 00:24:05,018
So if I can find a cat with no fur, I can keep it?
641
00:24:05,118 --> 00:24:06,586
Yeah, Rich.
642
00:24:06,687 --> 00:24:10,290
If you can find yourself a bald cat, you can hang on to it.
643
00:24:10,390 --> 00:24:11,958
Yay!
644
00:24:12,059 --> 00:24:14,227
Hey, Freddy!
645
00:24:14,328 --> 00:24:16,363
My daddy said it was OK!
646
00:24:24,438 --> 00:24:25,238
Richie!
647
00:24:25,339 --> 00:24:26,273
Richie!
648
00:24:40,587 --> 00:24:41,888
[MUSIC - END THEME, "THE
649
00:24:41,988 --> 00:24:44,324
DICK VAN DYKE SHOW"]
43664
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