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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,753 --> 00:00:06,020 "Battle." "Fight." 2 00:00:06,056 --> 00:00:09,824 "Win." "Lose." 3 00:00:09,860 --> 00:00:11,493 These are the words we use 4 00:00:11,528 --> 00:00:15,063 when someone is diagnosed with an illness or a disease. 5 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:19,868 ♪ No wind, no rain ♪ 6 00:00:19,903 --> 00:00:23,472 ♪ Or winter's cold ♪ 7 00:00:23,507 --> 00:00:26,675 ♪ Can stop me, baby ♪ 8 00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:29,043 ♪ Oh, baby ♪ 9 00:00:29,079 --> 00:00:32,247 ♪ If you're my goal ♪ 10 00:00:32,283 --> 00:00:36,384 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪ 11 00:00:36,419 --> 00:00:38,586 We use militarized language 12 00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:40,588 that implies it's a fair fight. 13 00:00:42,859 --> 00:00:46,394 14 00:00:46,429 --> 00:00:48,763 God grant me the serenity 15 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:51,766 to accept the things I cannot change, 16 00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:54,869 the courage to change the things I can, 17 00:00:54,905 --> 00:00:57,272 and the wisdom to know the difference. 18 00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:59,073 But when it comes to life and death, 19 00:00:59,109 --> 00:01:01,253 what does winning really look like? 20 00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:03,377 Is a person a loser for dying 21 00:01:03,413 --> 00:01:05,780 when the outcome isn't really in their control... 22 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,789 Oh. Damn it. 23 00:01:07,825 --> 00:01:09,183 If any patients see you like that, 24 00:01:09,218 --> 00:01:11,051 they might go to another hospital. 25 00:01:11,086 --> 00:01:12,152 Always gets me in the mood. 26 00:01:12,188 --> 00:01:13,754 Plus, you know, I'm seeing what daylight feels like 27 00:01:13,790 --> 00:01:14,789 while I still can. 28 00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:16,125 How's Catherine? 29 00:01:16,161 --> 00:01:17,458 She's ready. 30 00:01:17,493 --> 00:01:18,693 - And you? - Shh, shh, shh, shh. 31 00:01:20,564 --> 00:01:22,095 Ah. 32 00:01:22,131 --> 00:01:24,699 Funny bone. Not as easy as it looks. 33 00:01:26,502 --> 00:01:28,869 Okay, then. I have real patients, 34 00:01:28,904 --> 00:01:31,572 so, you know, good luck with... all this. 35 00:01:34,510 --> 00:01:36,477 I'm messing with you. 36 00:01:36,512 --> 00:01:39,447 You're gonna do great. You and Amelia. 37 00:01:39,482 --> 00:01:41,648 You're ready. 38 00:01:41,683 --> 00:01:42,782 Charley horse. 39 00:01:42,818 --> 00:01:48,655 40 00:01:50,461 --> 00:01:52,530 There he is. Thought you might need this. 41 00:01:52,565 --> 00:01:54,796 Oh. No, thanks. But I'm... I'm good. 42 00:01:54,831 --> 00:01:56,663 I'm running late for Catherine's scans. 43 00:01:56,698 --> 00:01:58,798 Okay, well, I have cleared all my surgeries today 44 00:01:58,834 --> 00:02:00,896 and shored up child care, so I'm here for you, whatever you need, 45 00:02:00,932 --> 00:02:02,669 - whenever you need it. - Like I said, I'm good. 46 00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,906 Okay, Richard, it's gonna be a very long day. 47 00:02:05,941 --> 00:02:09,476 Look, Meredith, I have plenty of doctors 48 00:02:09,511 --> 00:02:11,632 and plenty of friends looking out for me. 49 00:02:11,657 --> 00:02:14,229 You know who doesn't? Your father. 50 00:02:14,264 --> 00:02:17,083 Molly had to get back to Bahrain with her kids. 51 00:02:17,118 --> 00:02:18,685 He's all alone. 52 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,687 And I will make time to see Thatcher this week, 53 00:02:20,722 --> 00:02:22,490 but today is all about you and Catherine. 54 00:02:22,525 --> 00:02:24,156 Meredith, Thatcher may not have a week. 55 00:02:25,732 --> 00:02:28,160 Now, I know it's never been easy between you two, 56 00:02:28,196 --> 00:02:30,363 but the time to change that is running out. 57 00:02:30,399 --> 00:02:31,998 58 00:02:32,033 --> 00:02:33,767 Excuse me. 59 00:02:33,802 --> 00:02:39,539 60 00:02:39,574 --> 00:02:46,534 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 61 00:02:47,549 --> 00:02:50,036 Oh, I'm sorry I missed your scan. 62 00:02:50,071 --> 00:02:52,984 Oh, please. I went in. I came out. 63 00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:54,527 Same as the first million times. 64 00:02:54,554 --> 00:02:56,287 Well, I could have been there for you. 65 00:02:56,322 --> 00:02:58,122 You had a good excuse. 66 00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:01,025 There's my girl! 67 00:03:01,061 --> 00:03:04,228 There's my girl! 68 00:03:04,263 --> 00:03:05,797 Let me get her for you. Relax. 69 00:03:06,933 --> 00:03:07,984 Do you want to go to Grandma? 70 00:03:08,019 --> 00:03:10,735 Say, "Hi, Grandma." "Hi, Grandma." 71 00:03:10,770 --> 00:03:12,737 Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 72 00:03:12,772 --> 00:03:14,739 Did Koracick re-check the CT angio? 73 00:03:14,774 --> 00:03:16,741 Yes, and please stop. 74 00:03:16,776 --> 00:03:18,743 I appreciate both of you wanting to be a part of this, 75 00:03:18,778 --> 00:03:21,145 but I have a crackerjack neuro team. 76 00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:23,380 I need you to be my husband and my son today. 77 00:03:23,416 --> 00:03:25,500 And we need you 78 00:03:25,525 --> 00:03:27,017 to be our patient. 79 00:03:27,052 --> 00:03:29,186 Hmm, Thomas, you're getting ready to cut open my spine. 80 00:03:29,222 --> 00:03:31,088 I will be whatever I want. 81 00:03:31,124 --> 00:03:32,889 Oh. Music to my ears. 82 00:03:32,925 --> 00:03:36,260 Now, we will go in posteriorly with our stealth system 83 00:03:36,295 --> 00:03:38,895 and our newly pilfered ORBEYE scope. 84 00:03:38,931 --> 00:03:42,129 The plan is to go in and remove it en bloc. 85 00:03:42,164 --> 00:03:44,637 And you really think that posteriorly is the way to go? 86 00:03:44,672 --> 00:03:47,271 Oh, it is fun to have so many surgeons in one family. 87 00:03:47,306 --> 00:03:48,372 Remind me, Avery... 88 00:03:48,407 --> 00:03:51,008 when did you become double board certified in neuro? 89 00:03:51,043 --> 00:03:52,576 That's really how you talk to your patient's family? 90 00:03:52,612 --> 00:03:54,051 It is, actually. 91 00:03:56,149 --> 00:03:58,115 We need to go in posteriorly 92 00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,116 to avoid the carotid and the jugular, 93 00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:02,795 and to avoid having to weave through the brachial plexus. 94 00:04:02,831 --> 00:04:05,188 Look, I know how hard it is to be on the bench, 95 00:04:05,223 --> 00:04:07,023 but we are the A-Team. And we don't lose. 96 00:04:07,058 --> 00:04:10,026 Just ask Shepherd's tumor. Oh, wait, you can't. 97 00:04:10,061 --> 00:04:12,061 Because I removed it. Flawlessly. 98 00:04:12,096 --> 00:04:14,531 Okay, any last questions? 99 00:04:14,566 --> 00:04:17,133 Um... it looks like you've got this. 100 00:04:17,169 --> 00:04:18,280 We do. 101 00:04:18,316 --> 00:04:20,577 Mm-hmm. 102 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:22,972 I'm good. 103 00:04:23,007 --> 00:04:25,688 But, you know, I-I um... 104 00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:30,380 I think I'd like to just take a little walk 105 00:04:30,415 --> 00:04:32,081 before we get started. 106 00:04:32,116 --> 00:04:34,616 - I'd be happy to... - Oh, no, honey. 107 00:04:34,652 --> 00:04:37,219 I want to go alone. 108 00:04:37,254 --> 00:04:38,821 Okay, then, but no guarantees 109 00:04:38,856 --> 00:04:40,222 I won't watch you walk away. 110 00:04:40,257 --> 00:04:41,824 You always do. 111 00:04:45,196 --> 00:04:53,169 112 00:04:55,639 --> 00:05:01,143 113 00:05:01,179 --> 00:05:06,314 114 00:05:09,786 --> 00:05:17,358 115 00:05:17,393 --> 00:05:19,127 Hi. I'm... 116 00:05:19,162 --> 00:05:20,494 Meredith? 117 00:05:20,530 --> 00:05:21,796 Yeah. 118 00:05:21,832 --> 00:05:25,100 I'm sorry. You look just like your picture. 119 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,268 You're the surgeon, right? 120 00:05:27,303 --> 00:05:28,770 Yeah. 121 00:05:31,523 --> 00:05:33,307 Uh, do you want to come in? 122 00:05:34,359 --> 00:05:36,044 That's a loaded question. 123 00:05:44,687 --> 00:05:47,054 I'm not sure if he's awake. 124 00:05:47,089 --> 00:05:48,456 He sleeps more and more these days 125 00:05:48,491 --> 00:05:49,857 as you can imagine. 126 00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:52,059 Uh, can I get you something? 127 00:05:52,094 --> 00:05:54,228 Water? Gin, maybe? 128 00:05:56,599 --> 00:05:59,199 All right. 129 00:05:59,235 --> 00:06:02,470 Thatcher? You have a visitor. 130 00:06:02,505 --> 00:06:11,078 131 00:06:11,113 --> 00:06:12,913 Meredith! 132 00:06:12,948 --> 00:06:14,748 133 00:06:14,783 --> 00:06:16,249 Hi... 134 00:06:16,285 --> 00:06:18,251 135 00:06:18,287 --> 00:06:19,719 Hi. 136 00:06:22,407 --> 00:06:24,802 He's not on any pain meds. Clean and sober. 137 00:06:24,827 --> 00:06:26,086 His wishes. 138 00:06:26,121 --> 00:06:28,061 So, just the oxygen, if he needs it. 139 00:06:28,097 --> 00:06:29,263 But you know how that works. 140 00:06:29,299 --> 00:06:30,624 I do. 141 00:06:31,301 --> 00:06:32,700 Well, I'll leave you to it. 142 00:06:32,735 --> 00:06:34,101 My cellphone number is on the fridge. 143 00:06:34,136 --> 00:06:35,969 If you need anything, give me a call. 144 00:06:48,383 --> 00:06:51,351 I probably can't stay very long. 145 00:06:51,386 --> 00:06:52,729 I just... 146 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:58,234 There's so much to say, I-I... 147 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,960 I don't know what to say. 148 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:04,764 I didn't come here to say anything 149 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,766 or to hear you say anything to me, so... 150 00:07:06,802 --> 00:07:08,702 we can just sit, if that's okay. 151 00:07:08,737 --> 00:07:10,288 Okay. 152 00:07:35,363 --> 00:07:42,935 153 00:07:43,972 --> 00:07:45,771 Mom. 154 00:07:45,806 --> 00:07:47,512 I was looking for you. 155 00:07:47,548 --> 00:07:51,677 156 00:07:51,713 --> 00:07:53,746 You know I give Amelia and Koracick a hard time, 157 00:07:53,781 --> 00:07:55,580 but they're the best. 158 00:07:55,615 --> 00:07:58,149 I was thinking about my first surgery. 159 00:07:58,185 --> 00:08:01,586 The very first time I held a scalpel in my hand. 160 00:08:01,621 --> 00:08:04,923 It was a simple lipoma, but I was terrified. 161 00:08:04,958 --> 00:08:06,487 Hmm. 162 00:08:06,522 --> 00:08:09,460 I expected to feel so powerful, invincible. 163 00:08:09,496 --> 00:08:10,828 But the second that scrub nurse 164 00:08:10,864 --> 00:08:13,122 put that 10 blade in my hand, 165 00:08:13,158 --> 00:08:14,766 I went ice cold. 166 00:08:14,801 --> 00:08:17,135 Okay, so then what did you do? 167 00:08:17,170 --> 00:08:20,372 Diana Ross. "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." 168 00:08:20,407 --> 00:08:22,607 The first time I heard that song, 169 00:08:22,642 --> 00:08:25,777 it just filled me with joy and such calm... 170 00:08:25,812 --> 00:08:26,778 so I just sang it 171 00:08:26,813 --> 00:08:29,546 over and over and over in my head, in that O.R., 172 00:08:29,581 --> 00:08:33,483 until that same sense of calm and joy washed over me. 173 00:08:33,519 --> 00:08:35,052 And it's been my secret weapon 174 00:08:35,087 --> 00:08:37,054 for everything that's ever scared me... 175 00:08:37,089 --> 00:08:38,355 my first surgery. 176 00:08:38,391 --> 00:08:40,791 Labor with you, it was on an endless loop. 177 00:08:41,994 --> 00:08:46,330 Every PET scan, every MRI. 178 00:08:46,365 --> 00:08:48,407 179 00:08:48,442 --> 00:08:50,134 I remember you singing that song in the kitchen 180 00:08:50,169 --> 00:08:51,701 when I was doing my homework. 181 00:08:51,737 --> 00:08:53,737 You told me it was old people music. 182 00:08:53,772 --> 00:08:55,339 You wanted Michael Jackson. 183 00:08:55,374 --> 00:08:56,971 - I love me some Michael. - Ooh. 184 00:08:57,006 --> 00:08:59,400 I had to pry that red leather jacket off of you 185 00:08:59,436 --> 00:09:00,877 to get you to go to bed at night. 186 00:09:00,913 --> 00:09:02,609 Ah, that's true. 187 00:09:03,348 --> 00:09:04,769 Oh. 188 00:09:04,804 --> 00:09:06,671 I guess I used to do the same thing. 189 00:09:06,707 --> 00:09:09,628 My first surgery, I sang a song in my head. 190 00:09:09,664 --> 00:09:12,488 - I mean, it calmed me, you know? - I know. 191 00:09:12,523 --> 00:09:13,856 I watched you. 192 00:09:13,891 --> 00:09:16,259 My first... How did you watch? 193 00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:18,861 Child, please. I am Catherine Fox. 194 00:09:18,896 --> 00:09:21,259 Do you think there's a world where I wouldn't sneak into the gallery 195 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,532 of my baby's first surgery? 196 00:09:23,568 --> 00:09:25,734 Oh, you were a sight to see... 197 00:09:25,770 --> 00:09:27,133 Mm. 198 00:09:27,591 --> 00:09:30,659 I bet Harriet does the same thing someday. 199 00:09:30,684 --> 00:09:33,014 Well, I'll be sneaking up into the gallery with you, then. 200 00:09:34,645 --> 00:09:36,101 Deal. 201 00:09:37,248 --> 00:09:38,728 That's a deal. 202 00:09:40,150 --> 00:09:43,118 Now, can we please get you to your room? 203 00:09:43,153 --> 00:09:44,692 Not yet. 204 00:09:45,556 --> 00:09:48,233 - Mom... - I left the foundation in your name, 205 00:09:48,268 --> 00:09:50,425 just in case anything happens to me. 206 00:09:50,461 --> 00:09:52,427 Cecilia runs the day-to-day operations, 207 00:09:52,463 --> 00:09:54,029 Charlie keeps the books humming, 208 00:09:54,064 --> 00:09:56,621 but they'll need a leader, a North Star. 209 00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:58,801 And in the event that I'm left totally paralyzed... 210 00:09:58,836 --> 00:10:00,636 Mom, even if you can't operate, 211 00:10:00,671 --> 00:10:02,586 you're still gonna run the foundation, okay? You'll teach. 212 00:10:02,621 --> 00:10:04,907 You're Catherine Fox. What are you gonna do? 213 00:10:04,942 --> 00:10:06,108 You're gonna be all up in my business 214 00:10:06,143 --> 00:10:07,175 and everybody else's. 215 00:10:07,211 --> 00:10:08,644 We both know you're gonna find a way to do that. 216 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:10,879 - Keep this. - Turn the page. 217 00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:13,281 - I've already... - Turn the page. 218 00:10:13,317 --> 00:10:14,916 219 00:10:14,951 --> 00:10:16,551 You planned your own party? 220 00:10:16,586 --> 00:10:17,685 Mom. 221 00:10:17,721 --> 00:10:20,722 If I get out of this alive, the fun we're gonna have... 222 00:10:20,757 --> 00:10:23,091 and don't you even think about scrimping on those egg rolls. 223 00:10:23,127 --> 00:10:24,726 You know they're my favorite. 224 00:10:24,761 --> 00:10:27,443 You really planned everything. 225 00:10:28,332 --> 00:10:30,238 I always do. 226 00:10:31,135 --> 00:10:32,300 All right, then. 227 00:10:32,991 --> 00:10:34,909 Shall we? 228 00:10:39,143 --> 00:10:42,310 229 00:10:42,346 --> 00:10:45,112 Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe. 230 00:10:45,148 --> 00:10:48,315 Phillip put these everywhere for me. 231 00:10:48,351 --> 00:10:51,079 He said it's supposed to be soothing. 232 00:10:51,114 --> 00:10:52,387 Truth be told, 233 00:10:52,423 --> 00:10:53,820 it just makes me miss it more. 234 00:10:55,448 --> 00:10:57,881 A few years back, a student told me about 235 00:10:57,906 --> 00:11:00,185 a semester he took abroad building schools. 236 00:11:01,570 --> 00:11:05,706 Lexie was gone, and I thought I could either 237 00:11:05,968 --> 00:11:07,535 drown my grief in a bottle of Scotch 238 00:11:07,570 --> 00:11:09,970 or do something. So I did something. 239 00:11:13,642 --> 00:11:14,975 In Zimbabwe. 240 00:11:15,010 --> 00:11:19,517 The sunsets, Meredith... and the quiet. 241 00:11:19,552 --> 00:11:22,229 The people that I met, they have this passion 242 00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:26,954 for life, loving, learning... 243 00:11:30,673 --> 00:11:32,859 And then you got sick. 244 00:11:32,895 --> 00:11:34,834 I thought I'd just come home, 245 00:11:34,870 --> 00:11:36,663 do whatever treatment I needed to do, 246 00:11:36,699 --> 00:11:39,866 and then go back, but... It was good. Coming home. 247 00:11:39,902 --> 00:11:41,234 It gave me a chance to... 248 00:11:42,467 --> 00:11:44,561 It was the right thing to do. 249 00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:50,376 You went and got a whole new life. 250 00:11:50,412 --> 00:11:52,145 I did. 251 00:11:54,030 --> 00:11:55,582 I'm glad for you. 252 00:11:55,617 --> 00:11:58,151 I'm glad you saw sunsets and built schools 253 00:11:58,186 --> 00:12:00,756 for people who needed them and you stayed sober. 254 00:12:00,791 --> 00:12:02,589 You went and got a whole new life. 255 00:12:02,624 --> 00:12:04,749 Halfway across the world this time. 256 00:12:07,095 --> 00:12:09,829 But you didn't give a damn about the people you left behind. 257 00:12:13,868 --> 00:12:15,401 Say it again. 258 00:12:15,437 --> 00:12:18,204 We make an incision posteriorly from C3 to T4, 259 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:19,606 and then use the stealth probe 260 00:12:19,641 --> 00:12:21,207 to mark the coordinates of the tumor. 261 00:12:21,243 --> 00:12:23,042 And then do partial laminectomies 262 00:12:23,077 --> 00:12:25,557 to access the tumor and remove it en bloc. 263 00:12:25,592 --> 00:12:27,013 Perfect. Brilliant. 264 00:12:27,048 --> 00:12:28,414 We are incredible. 265 00:12:28,450 --> 00:12:29,849 Someone should really do a study on us. 266 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,786 Okay, say it. 267 00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:36,188 What? Wh... Oh. No. 268 00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:38,557 Ha ha! I'm good. 269 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,127 Good, good, good, good. Big Gun. 270 00:12:41,162 --> 00:12:43,247 Ready to Big Gun the crap out of this tumor. 271 00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:46,624 Damn it. 272 00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:48,841 Even my arrogance is off. Right? 273 00:12:48,866 --> 00:12:50,378 Right. 274 00:12:51,072 --> 00:12:53,039 W-What if we try, uh, your thing? 275 00:12:53,074 --> 00:12:55,440 You know, the... the word-vomit and the feelings? 276 00:12:55,476 --> 00:12:57,810 That seems to work. For you. 277 00:12:57,845 --> 00:12:59,078 Okay. 278 00:12:59,113 --> 00:13:00,913 You... you first. 279 00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:04,716 This is the largest tumor I've ever seen 280 00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:06,117 on the biggest legend I've ever known, 281 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:08,119 and if I screw this up, I'm gonna have to live out 282 00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:10,055 the rest of my ill-fated surgical career fixing idiot teenagers 283 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,489 who get hurt cow-tipping in Lawrence, Kansas, 284 00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:12,724 'cause I can't look Richard in the eye 285 00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,159 knowing I gorked his legend wife. 286 00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:17,243 - That is specific. - Well... 287 00:13:17,268 --> 00:13:18,782 I'm saying, how do you get hurt cow-tipping? 288 00:13:18,807 --> 00:13:20,165 It's a thing. 289 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,901 Just... You. Go. 290 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:25,269 Uh, Catherine Fox is an icon, and a magician, 291 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,905 and a giant among men... 292 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,907 and not just for the reasons you think. 293 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:30,474 She's saved more penises in her O.R. 294 00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:31,910 than any surgeon on the planet. 295 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:33,044 And all I keep imagining 296 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,679 are the dozens of men with zero-functioning penises, 297 00:13:34,715 --> 00:13:36,081 doomed to live out their sexless lives 298 00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,949 if I botch this surgery. 299 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,283 That's what you're worried about? 300 00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:41,685 Men and their junk? 301 00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:44,321 That, and if I lose her... 302 00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:48,158 I've lost enough. 303 00:13:49,394 --> 00:13:50,994 So let's keep her alive. 304 00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:53,363 305 00:13:53,398 --> 00:13:54,798 Let's keep her alive. 306 00:13:54,834 --> 00:14:01,171 307 00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:08,946 308 00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:11,148 I told them I didn't need a personal escort 309 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,883 to my own surgery. 310 00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:14,283 Well, that's just making sure 311 00:14:14,318 --> 00:14:16,119 you don't make a break for it. 312 00:14:16,154 --> 00:14:18,121 Thomas, make sure that I wake up 313 00:14:18,156 --> 00:14:20,861 with good motor and nerve function. 314 00:14:20,896 --> 00:14:24,060 And don't forget to get clean margins. 315 00:14:24,095 --> 00:14:25,245 I wouldn't dream of it. 316 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:26,495 And would you tell my husband 317 00:14:26,530 --> 00:14:28,664 he does not have to sit up in that gallery all day? 318 00:14:28,699 --> 00:14:29,665 "For better, for worse" 319 00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:32,067 does not include seeing your wife's insides. 320 00:14:32,102 --> 00:14:33,702 You know, you wouldn't be you 321 00:14:33,738 --> 00:14:35,504 if you weren't bossing us all around 322 00:14:35,539 --> 00:14:37,139 up until the last second. 323 00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:39,445 You nervous? 324 00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:41,543 Were you? 325 00:14:41,579 --> 00:14:44,980 A little bit. But I turned out just fine. 326 00:14:45,015 --> 00:14:48,417 That's because I was perfect, which I'm willing to be again. 327 00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:49,551 Well, you better be. 328 00:14:49,587 --> 00:14:50,986 Oh, Richard, I always liked you. 329 00:14:51,021 --> 00:14:52,254 No, you didn't. 330 00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:54,055 And I'm fine as long as she's fine. 331 00:14:54,091 --> 00:14:56,896 Okay, okay, can I have a minute with my husband, please? 332 00:15:15,245 --> 00:15:18,947 I will see you... when I wake up. 333 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:20,849 Jackson? 334 00:15:21,195 --> 00:15:22,745 Where's Jackson? 335 00:15:24,955 --> 00:15:25,921 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 336 00:15:25,956 --> 00:15:27,122 One for the road? 337 00:15:27,157 --> 00:15:30,125 Oh, ha ha! My baby! 338 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,528 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 339 00:15:44,173 --> 00:15:47,542 ♪ If you need me ♪ 340 00:15:47,577 --> 00:15:50,110 ♪ Call me ♪ 341 00:15:50,146 --> 00:15:52,380 ♪ No matter where you are ♪ 342 00:15:52,415 --> 00:15:54,382 ♪ No matter how far ♪ 343 00:15:54,417 --> 00:15:56,818 - ♪ No wind ♪ - ♪ No wind ♪ 344 00:15:56,853 --> 00:15:58,419 - ♪ No rain ♪ - ♪ No rain ♪ 345 00:15:58,455 --> 00:16:00,752 ♪ Can stop me, babe ♪ 346 00:16:00,787 --> 00:16:04,325 ♪ If you're my goal ♪ 347 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:09,330 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 348 00:16:09,365 --> 00:16:11,999 - ♪ Ain't no mountain high enough ♪ - ♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪ 349 00:16:12,034 --> 00:16:14,468 - ♪ Ain't no valley low enough ♪ - ♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh ♪ 350 00:16:14,503 --> 00:16:16,503 - ♪ Ain't no river wide enough ♪ - ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 351 00:16:16,538 --> 00:16:19,273 ♪ To keep me from you ♪ 352 00:16:19,308 --> 00:16:23,739 ♪ Ain't no mountain high enough ♪ 353 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:29,283 ♪ Nothing can keep me, keep me from you ♪ 354 00:16:29,318 --> 00:16:33,142 ♪ Ain't no mountain high enough to keep me from you ♪ 355 00:16:37,637 --> 00:16:41,205 ♪ You've been running all over town ♪ 356 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,408 Just like that, we are ready to navigate. 357 00:16:44,443 --> 00:16:47,411 Don't you want to confirm the accuracy first? 358 00:16:47,446 --> 00:16:48,846 Oh, what would I do without someone here 359 00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:50,848 to remind me of the obvious? 360 00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:53,483 I'm just saying, maybe a little less music, 361 00:16:53,518 --> 00:16:55,043 a little more concentration. 362 00:16:55,079 --> 00:16:58,855 ♪ All you want to do is ride around, Sally ♪ 363 00:16:58,891 --> 00:17:01,491 ♪ Ride, Sally, ride ♪ 364 00:17:01,526 --> 00:17:02,926 Whoo! 365 00:17:02,961 --> 00:17:05,562 This is going to be a long day. 366 00:17:05,597 --> 00:17:09,733 And you are gonna love every minute of it. 367 00:17:09,768 --> 00:17:13,170 We're gonna get don in there. Get down and dirt. Here we go. 368 00:17:13,205 --> 00:17:15,739 ♪ All you want to do is ride around, Sally ♪ 369 00:17:15,774 --> 00:17:20,110 ♪ Ride, Sally, ride ♪ 370 00:17:20,145 --> 00:17:24,014 ♪ All you want to do is ride around, Sally ♪ 371 00:17:24,049 --> 00:17:25,281 Mind if I join you? 372 00:17:25,317 --> 00:17:26,883 ♪ Ride, Sally, ride ♪ 373 00:17:26,919 --> 00:17:28,251 I'd like that. 374 00:17:28,286 --> 00:17:31,688 ♪ One of these early mornings ♪ 375 00:17:31,723 --> 00:17:33,055 ♪ I'm gonna be wiping those weeping eyes ♪ 376 00:17:34,060 --> 00:17:35,425 How's the resection going? 377 00:17:35,460 --> 00:17:37,293 So far so good. 378 00:17:37,329 --> 00:17:39,596 Come on. Let it loose. Let it out. 379 00:17:39,631 --> 00:17:41,598 Are you sure you don't want to be in the waiting room? 380 00:17:41,633 --> 00:17:43,466 I can watch, and I can report back to you guys. 381 00:17:43,501 --> 00:17:46,068 No, I'm fine right where I am. I-I'm good. 382 00:17:46,104 --> 00:17:48,342 ♪ I bought you a brand-new mustang ♪ 383 00:17:49,574 --> 00:17:51,407 Do it with me. Come on, now. 384 00:17:51,443 --> 00:17:53,409 You're mad. 385 00:17:53,445 --> 00:17:54,611 I'm not mad. 386 00:17:54,646 --> 00:17:56,979 Meredith... 387 00:17:57,014 --> 00:17:58,648 Fine. I'm mad. 388 00:17:58,683 --> 00:18:00,483 Because I moved away. 389 00:18:00,518 --> 00:18:02,485 Because you ran away. 390 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,587 Because you have never fought for anyone or anything 391 00:18:05,623 --> 00:18:07,790 that you cared for in your life. 392 00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:09,792 You just disappear. 393 00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:12,628 When I gave you a piece of my liver, 394 00:18:12,663 --> 00:18:14,329 you said we would try, right? 395 00:18:14,365 --> 00:18:16,565 You said we could get to know each other. 396 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,468 You didn't try. You didn't fight. 397 00:18:19,503 --> 00:18:20,736 And when Lexie died... 398 00:18:20,772 --> 00:18:22,337 I know. I know. No, you don't know, 399 00:18:22,373 --> 00:18:23,505 because you weren't here. 400 00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:26,742 I lost my sister. I lost my husband. 401 00:18:26,778 --> 00:18:28,470 And you were nowhere to be found. 402 00:18:28,505 --> 00:18:29,511 That's not... 403 00:18:29,546 --> 00:18:33,015 Meredith, I was there after Derek died. 404 00:18:33,050 --> 00:18:34,449 No, why would you say something like that? 405 00:18:34,485 --> 00:18:36,451 Because it's the truth, Meredith. 406 00:18:36,487 --> 00:18:38,420 Richard told me Derek died. I bought a ticket. 407 00:18:38,455 --> 00:18:39,354 I flew all day, all night. 408 00:18:39,390 --> 00:18:42,158 I got to the funeral just... just in time. 409 00:18:42,193 --> 00:18:44,192 I stood a few rows back. 410 00:18:44,227 --> 00:18:46,995 Next to some of your doctor friends from the hospital. 411 00:18:47,030 --> 00:18:49,798 I would remember if you were at his funeral. 412 00:18:49,833 --> 00:18:51,226 I was there, Meredith. 413 00:18:51,261 --> 00:18:53,602 But you were barely there. You were a ghost. 414 00:18:53,637 --> 00:18:57,069 You looked like me when I lost Susan and Lexie. 415 00:18:57,104 --> 00:18:58,707 Are you saying you came to the funeral 416 00:18:58,742 --> 00:18:59,775 and didn't speak to me? 417 00:18:59,810 --> 00:19:02,544 I felt like it would... would have been for me, 418 00:19:02,579 --> 00:19:05,146 not... not... not... 419 00:19:05,182 --> 00:19:08,350 For... for you. 420 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,620 Let's get you to the bed. 421 00:19:13,524 --> 00:19:19,627 422 00:19:19,662 --> 00:19:26,034 423 00:19:29,372 --> 00:19:31,539 424 00:19:33,776 --> 00:19:37,545 I came home, Meredith. For you. 425 00:19:37,580 --> 00:19:43,684 426 00:19:45,755 --> 00:19:49,522 ♪ And you're standing here beside me ♪ 427 00:19:49,558 --> 00:19:51,524 This microscope is a game changer. 428 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,359 I know. I feel like I could just walk into the screen 429 00:19:53,394 --> 00:19:55,428 and surf on the spinal cord. 430 00:19:55,464 --> 00:19:58,665 ♪ Never for money, always for love ♪ 431 00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:02,236 ♪ Cover up and say goodnight ♪ 432 00:20:02,271 --> 00:20:04,296 ♪ Say goodnight ♪ 433 00:20:04,331 --> 00:20:09,709 All right... it looks like we are clear to remove the tumor en bloc. 434 00:20:11,380 --> 00:20:12,579 Except... hang on. 435 00:20:12,614 --> 00:20:15,048 436 00:20:15,084 --> 00:20:16,350 I can't get it free. 437 00:20:16,385 --> 00:20:18,232 Okay, then. Time to suck and pluck. 438 00:20:18,267 --> 00:20:19,677 - I'm sorry, what? - The tumor's like a grape. 439 00:20:19,712 --> 00:20:21,053 You suck out the inside, then you pluck out the skin. 440 00:20:21,089 --> 00:20:22,454 Suck and pluck. 441 00:20:22,490 --> 00:20:24,190 - Could you call it something else? - Like what? 442 00:20:24,225 --> 00:20:26,125 Literally anything else. 443 00:20:28,329 --> 00:20:30,803 I hate this dude. 444 00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:33,028 - Jackson, sit. - No, I hate him. For real. 445 00:20:33,064 --> 00:20:35,301 I want to jump through this glass and just, like, choke him out. 446 00:20:35,336 --> 00:20:36,425 He is bopping. 447 00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:38,204 He's bopping over my mom's spine. 448 00:20:38,239 --> 00:20:39,972 - I mean, who does that? - Maybe you should take a walk. 449 00:20:40,008 --> 00:20:42,208 I'm gonna take a walk now. 450 00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:49,448 Richard, this can't be good for you either. 451 00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:54,333 The first year or so Catherine and I were together, 452 00:20:54,369 --> 00:20:56,388 we figured out how to make the long distance work 453 00:20:56,424 --> 00:20:58,657 because we'd promise to show up 454 00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:00,926 whenever we needed, however we needed. 455 00:21:00,961 --> 00:21:03,128 It's what you do for the people you love. 456 00:21:04,288 --> 00:21:05,898 She may fuss, 457 00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:08,751 but I don't need to ask her where she wants me to be. 458 00:21:09,703 --> 00:21:11,770 I'm already here. 459 00:21:11,806 --> 00:21:13,772 ♪ Make it up as we go along ♪ 460 00:21:13,808 --> 00:21:15,574 Are you okay if I... 461 00:21:15,609 --> 00:21:17,309 It's fine. Go. 462 00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:18,911 ♪ Head in the sky ♪ 463 00:21:18,946 --> 00:21:22,580 ♪ It's okay, I know nothing's wrong ♪ 464 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:25,650 ♪ Nothing's wrong, oh ♪ 465 00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:27,652 ♪ I got plenty of time ♪ 466 00:21:27,687 --> 00:21:30,855 You gonna lecture me, too, on how I shouldn't be here? 467 00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:32,131 You shouldn't be. 468 00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:33,925 ♪ Oh, you got light in your eyes ♪ 469 00:21:33,961 --> 00:21:36,294 But that's not my call. 470 00:21:36,779 --> 00:21:38,005 It's not decompressing. 471 00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:39,264 What do you mean it's not decompressing? 472 00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:40,865 It's too dense, like it's made of... 473 00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:42,374 I don't know what... cartilage, 474 00:21:42,409 --> 00:21:44,912 small chips of hard calcifications. 475 00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:47,105 Damn it. I can't get it either. 476 00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,373 Kill the music. 477 00:21:53,128 --> 00:21:54,479 We need to go in from the front. 478 00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:58,182 Her spine is open. It's all exposed. 479 00:21:58,217 --> 00:21:59,183 If we move her, 480 00:21:59,218 --> 00:22:01,719 we risk losing function in her forearm and hand. 481 00:22:01,754 --> 00:22:02,720 It's the only way. 482 00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:06,056 Okay, well, let me ask you one question first... 483 00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:07,959 - Are you insane? - We close up the incision. 484 00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,592 We flip her onto her side. I go in from the front. 485 00:22:09,627 --> 00:22:11,662 We meet in the middle to decompress and unearth this thing. 486 00:22:11,698 --> 00:22:12,897 So the answer is yes, you are insane. 487 00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:14,866 We'll get a few more people in here, we can flip her. 488 00:22:14,901 --> 00:22:16,467 And keep her still and not sever her spine? 489 00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:18,235 Not to mention having to break scrub, 490 00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:20,337 - re-drape, rescrub... - Cow-tipping in Kansas! 491 00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:21,696 Dozens of sexless men! 492 00:22:21,732 --> 00:22:23,340 If it were you again on the table, 493 00:22:23,376 --> 00:22:24,500 what would you want? 494 00:22:24,535 --> 00:22:29,546 495 00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:33,183 496 00:22:33,219 --> 00:22:34,918 For the record, I do not like you. 497 00:22:34,953 --> 00:22:39,089 498 00:22:39,125 --> 00:22:40,524 Shut down the gallery. 499 00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:44,930 500 00:22:52,879 --> 00:22:54,478 There you are. 501 00:23:03,923 --> 00:23:06,410 Mom's always been larger than life, you know? 502 00:23:07,419 --> 00:23:10,789 Laughs harder, yells louder than anyone. 503 00:23:11,097 --> 00:23:12,750 She's the life of the party. 504 00:23:13,299 --> 00:23:14,698 Even if it's my birthday party 505 00:23:14,733 --> 00:23:16,267 and she's taking over the dance floor. 506 00:23:17,904 --> 00:23:19,315 Sounds amazing. 507 00:23:19,340 --> 00:23:20,867 I was 16. It was mortifying. 508 00:23:22,303 --> 00:23:25,876 She'd always do that. 509 00:23:25,912 --> 00:23:27,047 She always inserted herself 510 00:23:27,082 --> 00:23:29,680 in every single aspect of my life, you know, 511 00:23:29,715 --> 00:23:30,787 whether I wanted her to or not... 512 00:23:30,822 --> 00:23:34,384 Hell, whether I even knew about it or not. 513 00:23:35,821 --> 00:23:37,107 And, um... 514 00:23:41,092 --> 00:23:43,405 Now I can't, uh... 515 00:23:45,449 --> 00:23:49,065 I can't imagine what a room would even feel like 516 00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:53,332 without her in it taking up all that space. 517 00:23:54,740 --> 00:24:00,844 It was different... losing Samuel. 518 00:24:05,150 --> 00:24:07,554 That was more like... 519 00:24:08,954 --> 00:24:11,087 like my world collapsing around me, you know? 520 00:24:11,122 --> 00:24:12,922 And this, I just... 521 00:24:15,706 --> 00:24:19,908 I feel like... a scared little kid. 522 00:24:23,987 --> 00:24:26,657 Like nothing is safe. 523 00:24:28,473 --> 00:24:29,839 Like the world's upside down 524 00:24:29,875 --> 00:24:31,640 and nothing makes any sense anymore. 525 00:24:32,412 --> 00:24:33,843 - Yeah. - Yeah. 526 00:24:33,879 --> 00:24:35,916 - I don't like it. - I know. 527 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:40,003 - I don't like it. - I know. I know. 528 00:24:43,854 --> 00:24:46,621 ♪ Hold on ♪ 529 00:24:46,656 --> 00:24:50,625 ♪ Hold on to yourself ♪ 530 00:24:50,660 --> 00:24:56,431 ♪ For this is gonna hurt like hell ♪ 531 00:24:56,466 --> 00:24:59,701 532 00:24:59,736 --> 00:25:02,504 Okay. Let's rock and roll. 533 00:25:02,539 --> 00:25:07,042 On my count, one, two, three. 534 00:25:07,077 --> 00:25:09,978 535 00:25:10,014 --> 00:25:12,514 Good, good, good. Easy. 536 00:25:12,549 --> 00:25:15,049 537 00:25:15,084 --> 00:25:19,020 ♪ So now you're sleeping peaceful ♪ 538 00:25:19,055 --> 00:25:22,724 ♪ I lie awake and pray ♪ 539 00:25:22,759 --> 00:25:24,893 ♪ That you'll be strong tomorrow ♪ 540 00:25:24,928 --> 00:25:26,494 Let's secure her hips. 541 00:25:26,530 --> 00:25:29,497 ♪ And will see another day ♪ 542 00:25:29,533 --> 00:25:33,067 ♪ And we will praise it ♪ 543 00:25:33,102 --> 00:25:34,502 She's good. 544 00:25:34,538 --> 00:25:37,639 ♪ And love the light that brings a smile ♪ 545 00:25:37,674 --> 00:25:40,408 Okay, they did it. She's okay. 546 00:25:40,444 --> 00:25:41,543 ♪ Across your face ♪ 547 00:25:41,578 --> 00:25:47,147 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, hold on ♪ 548 00:25:47,182 --> 00:25:49,550 ♪ Oh, God ♪ 549 00:25:49,585 --> 00:25:53,921 ♪ If you're out there, won't you hear me? ♪ 550 00:25:53,956 --> 00:25:57,591 ♪ I know that we have never talked before ♪ 551 00:25:57,626 --> 00:25:59,593 ♪ I know that we have never ♪ 552 00:25:59,628 --> 00:26:00,828 You ready, Bokie? 553 00:26:00,863 --> 00:26:02,830 ♪ Talked before ♪ 554 00:26:02,865 --> 00:26:04,097 ♪ Oh, God ♪ 555 00:26:04,132 --> 00:26:05,766 Okay. Deep breath, everybody. 556 00:26:05,801 --> 00:26:07,000 - ♪ The one I love ♪ - Scalpel. 557 00:26:07,035 --> 00:26:08,936 ♪ Is leaving ♪ 558 00:26:08,971 --> 00:26:17,210 ♪ Don't you take her when she comes to your door ♪ 559 00:26:17,245 --> 00:26:21,247 560 00:26:21,283 --> 00:26:22,915 Dr. Koracick? 561 00:26:22,951 --> 00:26:25,685 562 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:26,819 Tom. 563 00:26:28,256 --> 00:26:29,856 I think I'm gonna have trouble 564 00:26:29,891 --> 00:26:32,025 getting around the C7 facet 565 00:26:32,060 --> 00:26:34,961 while keeping the tumor retracted from this angle. 566 00:26:34,997 --> 00:26:36,296 Maybe you could give it a try? 567 00:26:36,331 --> 00:26:40,100 ♪ And love the light that brings a smile ♪ 568 00:26:40,135 --> 00:26:43,036 Please, I could do that in my sleep. 569 00:26:43,071 --> 00:26:43,970 - ♪ Across your face ♪ - Show off. 570 00:26:44,006 --> 00:26:47,807 ♪ Hold on ♪ 571 00:26:47,842 --> 00:26:51,243 ♪ Hold on to yourself ♪ 572 00:26:51,278 --> 00:26:55,080 ♪ For this is gonna hurt like hell ♪ 573 00:26:55,116 --> 00:26:56,883 - Scalpel. - Scalpel. 574 00:26:56,918 --> 00:26:59,485 ♪ Hell ♪ 575 00:26:59,521 --> 00:27:01,921 576 00:27:04,025 --> 00:27:08,293 577 00:27:11,098 --> 00:27:13,665 Is that when you and Richard started talking? 578 00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:15,066 After the funeral? 579 00:27:20,473 --> 00:27:22,523 I tried calling you. 580 00:27:22,558 --> 00:27:24,442 You never called back. 581 00:27:24,477 --> 00:27:25,644 And I worried. 582 00:27:25,679 --> 00:27:29,280 At first, I was just checking in on you. 583 00:27:30,784 --> 00:27:34,318 Mm, Richard and I started... 584 00:27:34,354 --> 00:27:36,320 ...talking about a lot of things. 585 00:27:36,356 --> 00:27:39,758 We both had amends to make. 586 00:27:39,793 --> 00:27:41,526 There are so many things 587 00:27:41,562 --> 00:27:44,996 I could say I'm sorry for, Meredith. 588 00:27:45,032 --> 00:27:49,534 But all I really want to say is thank you. 589 00:27:50,068 --> 00:27:51,936 Thank you for what? 590 00:27:53,540 --> 00:27:58,376 For so long, I measured my life 591 00:27:58,411 --> 00:28:03,123 in the things done to me, taken from me. 592 00:28:04,016 --> 00:28:09,787 Now I can see my life for exactly what it is. 593 00:28:09,822 --> 00:28:12,190 Some people have more pain than others. 594 00:28:12,225 --> 00:28:15,560 But no one, nothing, was conspiring against me. 595 00:28:15,595 --> 00:28:19,363 When you gave me a piece of your liver, 596 00:28:19,399 --> 00:28:24,135 you gave me time, precious time. 597 00:28:25,103 --> 00:28:28,038 Time to get your head out of your own ass? 598 00:28:37,049 --> 00:28:40,017 Y... Y... You could say that. 599 00:28:40,052 --> 00:28:46,490 I had a life, Meredith, 'cause of you. 600 00:28:46,525 --> 00:28:53,063 My own real, honest, painful, incredible life. 601 00:28:53,099 --> 00:28:57,552 I just wish you and I could have shared it. 602 00:28:59,054 --> 00:29:03,206 Well, I guess you did try this time. 603 00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:04,573 I just didn't know. 604 00:29:07,245 --> 00:29:08,778 I miss Lexie. 605 00:29:10,148 --> 00:29:12,081 I miss her so much. 606 00:29:12,117 --> 00:29:13,985 Me too. 607 00:29:15,654 --> 00:29:19,055 I'm sorry you lost her. 608 00:29:19,090 --> 00:29:23,325 I know how much it... it meant to you, having a sister. 609 00:29:25,263 --> 00:29:27,229 I have another sister. 610 00:29:27,791 --> 00:29:32,035 But you and Molly, you were never close. 611 00:29:32,070 --> 00:29:35,204 612 00:29:35,239 --> 00:29:37,306 Her name is Maggie. 613 00:29:37,759 --> 00:29:39,498 Oh... 614 00:29:39,533 --> 00:29:42,211 She's brilliant. And kind. 615 00:29:42,246 --> 00:29:46,114 She's the best of Ellis and Richard. 616 00:29:46,643 --> 00:29:51,253 Your... Your mother and Richard had a baby. 617 00:29:53,591 --> 00:29:56,938 618 00:29:56,974 --> 00:29:59,921 At least something good came from all that. 619 00:29:59,956 --> 00:30:02,931 620 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,642 I'm gonna get a humpback operating with you. 621 00:30:09,677 --> 00:30:10,844 I'm already standing on a step stool. 622 00:30:10,879 --> 00:30:12,036 What more do you want from me? 623 00:30:12,071 --> 00:30:13,112 Heels? 624 00:30:14,254 --> 00:30:15,882 Okay, it looks like the tumor 625 00:30:15,917 --> 00:30:17,584 is free of the brachial plexus. 626 00:30:17,620 --> 00:30:18,671 Should we try to pull it out? 627 00:30:18,707 --> 00:30:19,685 Let's do it. 628 00:30:20,722 --> 00:30:22,619 We've lost all the signal from one arm. 629 00:30:22,655 --> 00:30:24,390 The tumor is moving pretty easily. 630 00:30:24,425 --> 00:30:26,013 Check your machine. Could be artifact. 631 00:30:26,049 --> 00:30:28,487 No, there's still a little tension from my side. 632 00:30:28,522 --> 00:30:30,963 I... I think it's coming from the root. 633 00:30:30,998 --> 00:30:33,298 Which means there's no way to remove this without... 634 00:30:33,334 --> 00:30:34,955 Risking paralysis. 635 00:30:34,991 --> 00:30:36,835 636 00:30:36,871 --> 00:30:38,570 If they can't remove the whole tumor, 637 00:30:38,605 --> 00:30:40,505 they're gonna have to do it piecemeal. 638 00:30:40,540 --> 00:30:44,176 But then they risk leaving some of the tumor behind. 639 00:30:44,211 --> 00:30:48,914 640 00:30:48,949 --> 00:30:50,715 What? 641 00:30:50,751 --> 00:30:55,387 642 00:30:55,422 --> 00:30:56,688 My path pen. 643 00:30:56,723 --> 00:30:58,490 Remove the tumor piecemeal, 644 00:30:58,525 --> 00:31:00,492 and then use the pen to see if you got it all. 645 00:31:00,527 --> 00:31:03,314 Okay, it hasn't cleared FDA process yet, 646 00:31:03,349 --> 00:31:06,460 and it isn't on the market, but I'm telling you, it works. 647 00:31:06,495 --> 00:31:09,733 648 00:31:09,769 --> 00:31:12,103 I really have always liked you, Richard. 649 00:31:12,138 --> 00:31:14,338 No, you haven't. 650 00:31:14,374 --> 00:31:16,407 Yes. Get it. 651 00:31:16,442 --> 00:31:21,379 652 00:31:23,216 --> 00:31:26,217 And that twitch over her right eye 653 00:31:26,252 --> 00:31:28,019 when you switched the ice maker 654 00:31:28,054 --> 00:31:29,325 from cubed to crushed. 655 00:31:29,361 --> 00:31:30,788 "What kind of a monster crushes ice? 656 00:31:30,823 --> 00:31:32,290 It's uncivilized." 657 00:31:32,325 --> 00:31:34,792 Crushed ice was uncivilized. 658 00:31:34,827 --> 00:31:36,394 Taking my last cup of coffee... 659 00:31:36,429 --> 00:31:38,129 - uncivilized. - Uncivilized. 660 00:31:38,164 --> 00:31:40,965 Getting an A- in Chem Lab. 661 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,966 - Uncivilized. - Uncivilized. 662 00:31:43,001 --> 00:31:44,968 She was... 663 00:31:45,003 --> 00:31:47,304 - Kind of a tyrant. - But brilliant. 664 00:31:47,339 --> 00:31:49,151 Oh, I can't argue with that. 665 00:31:49,187 --> 00:31:51,117 Terrible driver. 666 00:31:51,152 --> 00:31:53,410 Can't argue with that. 667 00:31:53,446 --> 00:31:56,112 But she was extraordinary. 668 00:31:56,148 --> 00:31:58,400 - Yeah. - Oh. 669 00:31:59,785 --> 00:32:01,885 Do you regret marrying her? 670 00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:06,890 The entire time she was pregnant with you, 671 00:32:06,926 --> 00:32:09,092 she pretended she wasn't. 672 00:32:09,127 --> 00:32:12,896 I don't know if it was stubbornness or denial. 673 00:32:12,932 --> 00:32:14,465 Maybe both. 674 00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:18,268 Nine months, she had to do everything herself. 675 00:32:18,303 --> 00:32:20,470 And I had to let her. 676 00:32:20,505 --> 00:32:23,273 The night she went into labor, she came home after surgery, 677 00:32:23,308 --> 00:32:27,929 and she just stood in the doorway, wide-eyed. 678 00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,474 "We're having a baby, Thatch. 679 00:32:32,642 --> 00:32:36,353 We're having a baby." 680 00:32:39,824 --> 00:32:42,993 As if the idea just hit her, right there. 681 00:32:43,028 --> 00:32:45,996 She... She started to laugh. She couldn't stop laughing. 682 00:32:46,031 --> 00:32:49,599 Laughed all the way to the hospital. 683 00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:53,076 I never heard her laugh like that, 684 00:32:53,112 --> 00:32:56,771 so big, so free. 685 00:32:56,807 --> 00:32:58,773 686 00:32:58,809 --> 00:33:01,755 And I just thought, "Wow. 687 00:33:02,346 --> 00:33:06,985 What a way for you to come into the world." 688 00:33:07,021 --> 00:33:10,219 We weren't perfect. 689 00:33:10,254 --> 00:33:13,389 We weren't even happy a lot of the time. 690 00:33:13,424 --> 00:33:16,958 But I'd marry her all over again 691 00:33:17,646 --> 00:33:21,330 for that night, that laugh. 692 00:33:21,365 --> 00:33:23,198 And you. 693 00:33:24,653 --> 00:33:26,335 And this. 694 00:33:28,448 --> 00:33:31,506 I'd do it all again for this. 695 00:33:31,541 --> 00:33:38,312 696 00:33:39,916 --> 00:33:41,082 How can there still be cancer there? 697 00:33:41,117 --> 00:33:42,316 We've been at this for hours. 698 00:33:42,352 --> 00:33:44,052 It's still lighting up like Christmas. 699 00:33:44,087 --> 00:33:46,253 Let's just keep going. 700 00:33:46,288 --> 00:33:48,656 We'll hit clear tissue eventually. 701 00:33:50,860 --> 00:33:52,301 Signal's fading again. 702 00:33:52,336 --> 00:33:53,527 She's losing function in her arms. 703 00:33:53,563 --> 00:33:56,096 - We've barely touched anything. - Breathe. 704 00:33:56,131 --> 00:33:58,498 We are going in the right direction. 705 00:33:58,534 --> 00:33:59,868 Losing the signal in her other arm... 706 00:33:59,903 --> 00:34:01,835 Okay, stop it! We know! If we keep going, 707 00:34:01,871 --> 00:34:03,437 we cost Catherine her motor function, 708 00:34:03,472 --> 00:34:05,539 her career, her life as she knows it... we know! 709 00:34:05,575 --> 00:34:10,945 710 00:34:10,980 --> 00:34:16,932 711 00:34:16,968 --> 00:34:18,218 Meredith... 712 00:34:18,253 --> 00:34:20,187 Okay, don't try to speak. 713 00:34:20,222 --> 00:34:22,755 But... the closet. 714 00:34:22,791 --> 00:34:24,224 I left something... 715 00:34:25,380 --> 00:34:27,748 I don't need anything. 716 00:34:27,784 --> 00:34:29,696 ...for your kids. 717 00:34:31,733 --> 00:34:33,638 I wish... 718 00:34:34,336 --> 00:34:36,803 I wish I knew them. 719 00:34:37,434 --> 00:34:40,755 I thought of... I thought of them. 720 00:34:43,945 --> 00:34:45,579 Ahh. 721 00:34:46,401 --> 00:34:49,649 Your hands are so cold. 722 00:34:49,684 --> 00:34:50,883 Sorry, I can... 723 00:34:50,919 --> 00:34:54,287 No, no, no. 724 00:34:54,323 --> 00:34:56,054 Oh, it feels good. 725 00:34:56,090 --> 00:35:02,060 726 00:35:02,096 --> 00:35:07,500 Zola is so smart and so strong. 727 00:35:07,535 --> 00:35:10,909 - Yeah? - And she keeps me on my toes 728 00:35:10,944 --> 00:35:13,137 every minute of every day. 729 00:35:13,172 --> 00:35:17,276 And Bailey says "funny" before every sentence. 730 00:35:17,311 --> 00:35:19,645 "Funny, I'd like an apple. 731 00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:22,080 Funny, I need pajamas." 732 00:35:22,116 --> 00:35:25,284 It's so cute. 733 00:35:25,319 --> 00:35:29,420 And Ellis... she is brave. 734 00:35:29,456 --> 00:35:32,155 And she's obsessed with hip-hop. 735 00:35:33,323 --> 00:35:39,096 They are exhausting... and amazing. 736 00:35:39,132 --> 00:35:41,499 737 00:35:41,535 --> 00:35:44,042 I wish you knew them, too. 738 00:35:45,138 --> 00:35:48,506 Because they are so, so beautiful. 739 00:35:53,380 --> 00:36:00,017 740 00:36:03,422 --> 00:36:10,160 741 00:36:10,196 --> 00:36:16,667 742 00:36:32,119 --> 00:36:33,351 How... 743 00:36:34,930 --> 00:36:36,696 Easy. Easy, Mom. 744 00:36:36,731 --> 00:36:39,007 - How... How... - Easy, easy, easy, easy. 745 00:36:39,042 --> 00:36:41,100 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 746 00:36:41,136 --> 00:36:42,715 Hey. 747 00:36:42,750 --> 00:36:43,808 - Mm-hmm. - Uh-huh. 748 00:36:43,833 --> 00:36:45,153 I feel that. 749 00:36:45,188 --> 00:36:48,574 Okay. Hold on, hold on. 750 00:36:48,609 --> 00:36:52,110 All right. Well, your reflexes are normal. 751 00:36:52,146 --> 00:36:56,449 My hands and feet move. Whoo. 752 00:36:56,484 --> 00:36:58,648 I'm not dead? With that tumor? 753 00:36:58,683 --> 00:37:00,770 No, you're most definitely not dead. 754 00:37:00,805 --> 00:37:03,723 Oh, I thought for sure they were gonna kill me. 755 00:37:08,251 --> 00:37:09,711 What? 756 00:37:12,359 --> 00:37:13,925 Tell me. 757 00:37:13,950 --> 00:37:16,259 Catherine, when we went in to get the tumor, 758 00:37:17,030 --> 00:37:19,664 it was adherent to your brachial plexus. 759 00:37:19,974 --> 00:37:22,910 We were able to remove about 95% of it, 760 00:37:22,945 --> 00:37:26,479 but we had to leave one nodule behind. 761 00:37:26,769 --> 00:37:31,583 So... radiation? Chemo? 762 00:37:33,687 --> 00:37:36,202 They've had some success with proton beam therapy. 763 00:37:36,238 --> 00:37:37,488 Some? 764 00:37:39,032 --> 00:37:42,076 It's likely, even with treatment... 765 00:37:42,695 --> 00:37:44,832 I'll have to live with this cancer 766 00:37:44,867 --> 00:37:47,031 the rest of my life. 767 00:37:47,066 --> 00:37:51,636 I was sure you'd get it all or kill me trying. 768 00:37:51,671 --> 00:37:53,638 So did we. 769 00:37:53,673 --> 00:37:56,307 Catherine, I'm so sorry. 770 00:37:56,833 --> 00:37:59,830 Sorry? I'm alive. 771 00:37:59,865 --> 00:38:03,794 I can live with this for many years. 772 00:38:03,829 --> 00:38:07,596 People live with cancer. We've all seen it happen. 773 00:38:07,632 --> 00:38:09,376 You're gonna have to get, uh, scans every three months 774 00:38:09,411 --> 00:38:11,497 to make sure the tumor doesn't, uh, grow. 775 00:38:11,532 --> 00:38:13,690 And in between, I'll operate. 776 00:38:13,726 --> 00:38:15,808 - Mm. - And I'll hug my son. 777 00:38:15,843 --> 00:38:17,111 Mm. 778 00:38:18,231 --> 00:38:20,285 Make love to my husband. 779 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:21,432 Okay... 780 00:38:21,467 --> 00:38:25,243 Chase my Harriet, make mistakes, 781 00:38:25,278 --> 00:38:28,539 and fight about who gets to pick the movie on date night. 782 00:38:32,564 --> 00:38:35,098 You two have given me my life back. 783 00:38:36,695 --> 00:38:38,414 Now what? 784 00:38:38,439 --> 00:38:39,939 'Cause we didn't plan on this. 785 00:38:41,555 --> 00:38:43,822 These two pulled off a miracle. 786 00:38:44,430 --> 00:38:47,274 Miracles aren't always punctuation marks. 787 00:38:47,309 --> 00:38:49,311 But they are worth celebrating. 788 00:38:49,346 --> 00:38:51,775 So we are gonna have that party. 789 00:38:51,810 --> 00:38:54,594 We just might have to wait a couple of months 790 00:38:54,629 --> 00:38:56,620 so I can get on the dance floor. 791 00:38:59,028 --> 00:39:00,977 I love you. 792 00:39:01,012 --> 00:39:02,872 793 00:39:18,975 --> 00:39:21,509 Hey. I heard about the surgery. 794 00:39:21,544 --> 00:39:22,677 Congratulations. 795 00:39:22,713 --> 00:39:24,946 Oh. I know, I know. You knew I had it in me all along. 796 00:39:24,981 --> 00:39:26,748 Honestly? I was on the fence. 797 00:39:31,352 --> 00:39:33,121 You should be really proud. 798 00:39:33,156 --> 00:39:35,857 There are not a lot of surgeons who could do that. 799 00:39:35,892 --> 00:39:37,491 Which part? 800 00:39:37,527 --> 00:39:38,659 Where I flipped my friend like a pancake 801 00:39:38,695 --> 00:39:40,595 or failed to leave her cancer free? 802 00:39:40,630 --> 00:39:42,797 The part where you saved her life 803 00:39:42,833 --> 00:39:44,432 and her surgical career. 804 00:39:47,204 --> 00:39:49,437 Yeah, that part wasn't half bad. 805 00:39:51,373 --> 00:39:53,416 You should celebrate. 806 00:39:54,009 --> 00:39:55,042 Why don't you get cleaned up? 807 00:39:55,077 --> 00:39:56,777 I'll meet you at Joe's, and I'll buy you a drink. 808 00:39:56,812 --> 00:39:59,179 Uh... w... Can we take a rain check? 809 00:39:59,215 --> 00:40:01,481 I... I'm wiped. And I-I smell bad. 810 00:40:01,516 --> 00:40:05,830 And when you spend money on me, I want to smell good. 811 00:40:05,865 --> 00:40:08,288 Yeah. Okay. 812 00:40:08,323 --> 00:40:09,489 Night. 813 00:40:09,524 --> 00:40:10,892 Goodnight. 814 00:40:11,526 --> 00:40:16,563 ♪ Red lights are flashing on the highway ♪ 815 00:40:16,598 --> 00:40:18,565 When it comes to medicine, 816 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:21,735 who's to say what is winning or losing? 817 00:40:21,771 --> 00:40:24,737 ♪ I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight ♪ 818 00:40:24,773 --> 00:40:26,572 There's just as much value in trying again 819 00:40:26,607 --> 00:40:28,284 as there is in letting go... 820 00:40:29,577 --> 00:40:31,329 I saved my friend today, David. 821 00:40:31,354 --> 00:40:33,646 ♪ But if you break down ♪ 822 00:40:33,681 --> 00:40:36,048 ♪ I'll drive out and find you ♪ 823 00:40:36,084 --> 00:40:39,485 I didn't think I-I could, and it wasn't perfect. 824 00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:42,054 ♪ If you forget my love ♪ 825 00:40:42,090 --> 00:40:44,490 Your dad was kind of a badass. 826 00:40:44,525 --> 00:40:46,425 ♪ I'll try to remind you ♪ 827 00:40:46,460 --> 00:40:50,229 ...letting go of suffering, regret, pain, fear. 828 00:40:50,265 --> 00:40:54,100 ♪ And stay by you ♪ 829 00:40:54,135 --> 00:40:58,703 ♪ When it don't come easy ♪ 830 00:40:58,738 --> 00:41:02,607 ♪ When it don't come easy ♪ 831 00:41:02,642 --> 00:41:10,001 832 00:41:10,037 --> 00:41:11,283 ♪ I don't know nothing except change will come ♪ 833 00:41:11,318 --> 00:41:18,089 I operated on a freaking legend's spine today. 834 00:41:18,125 --> 00:41:20,257 And it was terrifying. 835 00:41:20,293 --> 00:41:22,547 And exhilarating. 836 00:41:23,548 --> 00:41:25,430 And imperfect. 837 00:41:25,465 --> 00:41:28,065 ♪ I wonder if we're gonna ever get home ♪ 838 00:41:28,100 --> 00:41:30,680 Mostly terrifying. 839 00:41:31,285 --> 00:41:32,570 Because she's not just a legend. 840 00:41:32,605 --> 00:41:36,273 She matters so much to so many people that I love... 841 00:41:36,309 --> 00:41:38,075 ♪ And all of the signs got blown away ♪ 842 00:41:38,110 --> 00:41:40,645 ♪ Sometimes you wonder if you're walking in the wrong direction ♪ 843 00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:42,447 Most of my life, I have been chasing 844 00:41:42,482 --> 00:41:45,903 the kind of high that I feel right now. 845 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,287 ♪ But if you break down ♪ 846 00:41:50,323 --> 00:41:52,952 I gave a surgeon back her hands today. 847 00:41:53,492 --> 00:41:58,562 I gave a husband his wife, a son his mother. 848 00:42:01,767 --> 00:42:04,735 And I am so incredibly grateful to be sober... 849 00:42:06,772 --> 00:42:08,739 ...to be present enough to have felt 850 00:42:08,774 --> 00:42:13,431 every terrifying, exhilarating, 851 00:42:14,546 --> 00:42:16,747 imperfect moment. 852 00:42:16,782 --> 00:42:19,583 ♪ When it don't come easy ♪ 853 00:42:19,618 --> 00:42:21,150 Instead of saying someone we love 854 00:42:21,186 --> 00:42:26,689 is battling, beating, fighting, winning, or losing, 855 00:42:26,724 --> 00:42:28,324 why don't we just tell the truth. 856 00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:29,759 ♪ So many things that I had before ♪ 857 00:42:29,794 --> 00:42:31,782 There you go, sweethearts. 858 00:42:32,364 --> 00:42:34,077 ♪ That don't matter to me now ♪ 859 00:42:34,113 --> 00:42:36,332 We get sick. We take our medicine... 860 00:42:36,368 --> 00:42:38,134 861 00:42:38,169 --> 00:42:40,503 Wow. So cool. 862 00:42:40,538 --> 00:42:42,505 Where did you get it, Mommy? 863 00:42:42,540 --> 00:42:45,341 Uh, your grandfather, Thatcher. 864 00:42:45,377 --> 00:42:47,944 He wanted you to have it, and he wanted you to know 865 00:42:47,979 --> 00:42:49,712 that he cared about you very much... 866 00:42:49,747 --> 00:42:51,381 Funny, I love it. 867 00:42:51,416 --> 00:42:54,650 ...some of us live, some die. 868 00:42:54,685 --> 00:42:57,620 Mommy, are you okay? 869 00:42:57,655 --> 00:43:01,646 - ♪ When it don't come easy ♪ - Yes, Zo-Zo. I will be fine. 870 00:43:03,446 --> 00:43:07,015 ♪ When it don't come easy ♪ 871 00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:13,773 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 60372

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