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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,993 --> 00:00:02,760 "Will & Grace" is shot before 2 00:00:02,762 --> 00:00:04,729 a live studio audience. 3 00:00:04,731 --> 00:00:06,531 Well, I'm off to Divorce Attorney. 4 00:00:06,533 --> 00:00:07,908 Wish me money. 5 00:00:09,035 --> 00:00:10,818 So, you and Stan are really over? 6 00:00:10,820 --> 00:00:12,103 - Yep. - Do you wanna talk? 7 00:00:12,105 --> 00:00:13,164 Why? 8 00:00:13,166 --> 00:00:15,332 Must have all kinds of feelings. 9 00:00:20,664 --> 00:00:23,014 Is it the word "feelings" that's bumping you? 10 00:00:23,016 --> 00:00:24,949 Honey, feelings are for poor people 11 00:00:24,951 --> 00:00:27,318 and e liberals who love them. 12 00:00:28,888 --> 00:00:30,822 Okay, but, you know, 13 00:00:30,824 --> 00:00:34,810 I'm here if you ever change your... personality. 14 00:00:36,596 --> 00:00:38,663 What up, Smudge? 15 00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:42,383 Heads up. Your sister's here. 16 00:00:44,454 --> 00:00:46,170 Uh, when were you gonna tell me? 17 00:00:46,172 --> 00:00:48,306 What? 18 00:00:50,777 --> 00:00:52,810 I just saw what you're wearing. 19 00:01:02,172 --> 00:01:03,755 It's pretty. 20 00:01:08,206 --> 00:01:16,212 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 21 00:01:16,252 --> 00:01:18,102 - Janet, did you sleep here? - Yeah, well, 22 00:01:18,104 --> 00:01:20,104 you were such a douche about me staying at your place. 23 00:01:20,106 --> 00:01:21,639 Well, that's because the last time, 24 00:01:21,641 --> 00:01:24,003 you brought that weird guy with the anxiety rat. 25 00:01:24,005 --> 00:01:26,978 Uh, that's a real thing. That rat has his own bus seat. 26 00:01:28,615 --> 00:01:30,448 Did you ever find it? 27 00:01:34,587 --> 00:01:37,722 What do you mean, did I ever find it? 28 00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:41,501 Never mind. 29 00:01:42,379 --> 00:01:44,055 Janet, you gotta get out of here. 30 00:01:44,057 --> 00:01:45,229 I've got a client coming. 31 00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:47,398 I'm in crisis, Smudge... not that you asked. 32 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,618 - Frank's cheating on me. - Janet... 33 00:01:49,620 --> 00:01:51,444 If I had any balls, I'd tell him it's over, 34 00:01:51,446 --> 00:01:53,639 but his wife just got back from active duty. 35 00:01:55,007 --> 00:01:58,175 I'm sure they'll both thank you for your service. 36 00:02:02,115 --> 00:02:03,798 Good night, Mr. Truman. 37 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,857 Really? "Mr. Truman" is so formal. 38 00:02:06,859 --> 00:02:09,787 Call me William, guys, or Professor Truman... 39 00:02:09,789 --> 00:02:13,024 - But you're not a full Profe... - Good night, Jill. 40 00:02:14,728 --> 00:02:16,360 Oh, hey, kids. Yeah. 41 00:02:16,362 --> 00:02:19,697 Swell of you to visit the elderly in your spare time. 42 00:02:22,461 --> 00:02:24,395 Another study group? 43 00:02:24,397 --> 00:02:26,397 I like being the teacher all the kids wanna hang out with. 44 00:02:26,399 --> 00:02:29,533 Yeah, no, they seemed really eager to stay. 45 00:02:29,535 --> 00:02:31,368 I'll have you know they invited me 46 00:02:31,370 --> 00:02:33,070 to a warehouse party. 47 00:02:33,072 --> 00:02:35,072 Ooh, a rave, yeah. 48 00:02:35,074 --> 00:02:37,541 Remember those nights? All those hot guys? 49 00:02:37,543 --> 00:02:40,344 Yeah, you dancing along on a box in nothing but short shorts 50 00:02:40,346 --> 00:02:42,187 and a retainer? 51 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:46,692 And you with your little baggy of orange slices? 52 00:02:49,989 --> 00:02:52,189 ♪ Key change ♪ 53 00:02:52,191 --> 00:02:53,769 Check it out. 54 00:02:53,771 --> 00:02:55,221 You bought your wedding rings? 55 00:02:55,223 --> 00:02:56,374 I did. 56 00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:58,578 First ring I'll ever wear on my finger. 57 00:02:59,198 --> 00:03:02,096 You and Estefan are really getting married. 58 00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,425 Our time has come. 59 00:03:03,427 --> 00:03:04,835 Before I was ready to settle down, 60 00:03:04,837 --> 00:03:07,421 I just had to get a couple guys out of my system. 61 00:03:09,025 --> 00:03:11,425 - And then in my system. - Mm-hmm. 62 00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,461 And then back out of my system. 63 00:03:19,655 --> 00:03:23,307 You wrote, "To my soulmate" inside his ring. 64 00:03:23,309 --> 00:03:24,861 Well, he is... 65 00:03:24,863 --> 00:03:27,191 Never thought I'd meet my soulmate, but I did. 66 00:03:27,193 --> 00:03:29,392 Well, I'm gonna cry. 67 00:03:29,394 --> 00:03:30,703 Maybe you should save your tears 68 00:03:30,705 --> 00:03:32,110 until you get your Amex bill. 69 00:03:33,966 --> 00:03:36,166 I kid! 70 00:03:36,657 --> 00:03:37,934 ...You not. 71 00:03:41,013 --> 00:03:42,779 Listen, Grace, I've already been here 72 00:03:42,781 --> 00:03:44,080 longer than I wanna be here, so let's wrap this up. 73 00:03:44,082 --> 00:03:45,699 I've got ten minutes. 74 00:03:45,701 --> 00:03:46,916 Wait, I have so much to show you. 75 00:03:46,918 --> 00:03:48,852 - Nine. - Oh, okay, I understand. 76 00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:51,788 Um, I've got some... some fun paint ideas 77 00:03:51,790 --> 00:03:53,823 that I'm gonna show you, and this time, I am confident 78 00:03:53,825 --> 00:03:57,026 that it won't give you, as you put it, eye herpes. 79 00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:58,561 Hey, Grace. 80 00:03:58,563 --> 00:04:00,532 How dark is pee supposed to be? 81 00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:02,932 Oh, sorry. 82 00:04:02,934 --> 00:04:04,768 Don't be. That's a legitimate question. 83 00:04:04,770 --> 00:04:06,855 It's supposed to be the color of pale hay. 84 00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:09,775 Then I should see a doctor. 85 00:04:11,576 --> 00:04:13,610 You're adorable. Who are you? 86 00:04:13,612 --> 00:04:14,944 - Janet. - Janet. 87 00:04:14,946 --> 00:04:17,240 That's a beautiful name. 88 00:04:18,617 --> 00:04:19,883 Have a drink with me. 89 00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:21,551 - Sure, but I'm straight. - Are you? 90 00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,653 - Yes, yes. - Are you? Are you? 91 00:04:23,655 --> 00:04:25,000 You tell me. 92 00:04:29,961 --> 00:04:31,594 What is this? 93 00:04:31,596 --> 00:04:33,330 Chocolate milk? 94 00:04:33,332 --> 00:04:35,999 Guess one of the kids must have left it. 95 00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:37,417 You know what? 96 00:04:37,419 --> 00:04:38,668 I'm doing it... 97 00:04:38,670 --> 00:04:40,514 This is our rave. 98 00:04:41,356 --> 00:04:43,957 I'll drop one bread and two fats tomorrow. 99 00:04:45,844 --> 00:04:48,021 - Oh, mmm. - Gimme some. 100 00:04:52,484 --> 00:04:53,783 Takes you back, right? 101 00:04:53,785 --> 00:04:56,302 Yeah, totally. 102 00:04:56,304 --> 00:04:58,588 Hey, you need to do something about your doorman. 103 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:01,524 - He's a little handsy. - We don't have a doorman. 104 00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:05,228 Oh, makes sense. 105 00:05:05,230 --> 00:05:09,399 What kind of doorman would test people for colon cancer? 106 00:05:13,338 --> 00:05:15,572 So, did you have time to look over my divorce papers? 107 00:05:15,574 --> 00:05:17,540 Oh, yeah, uh, 108 00:05:17,542 --> 00:05:20,210 looks like Stan got the cabin in Vermont, 109 00:05:20,212 --> 00:05:22,145 but you got Vermont. 110 00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:25,648 Suck it, New England... 111 00:05:25,650 --> 00:05:28,096 Jack used to have a tank top that said that. 112 00:05:28,098 --> 00:05:29,396 Oh? 113 00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:32,389 So, now what? 114 00:05:32,391 --> 00:05:34,846 I just sign these and that's it? 115 00:05:34,848 --> 00:05:36,059 Pretty much. 116 00:05:36,061 --> 00:05:38,725 Once you've done that, you're no longer Mrs. Stanley Walker. 117 00:05:38,727 --> 00:05:41,411 Hm, it's that easy... 118 00:05:41,413 --> 00:05:42,564 You okay? 119 00:05:42,566 --> 00:05:44,694 You gotta be struggling with how hard this is. 120 00:05:44,696 --> 00:05:47,404 I had a tank top that said that too. 121 00:05:49,332 --> 00:05:51,468 Good Lord, why is everybody 122 00:05:51,470 --> 00:05:53,521 making such a big deal out of this? 123 00:05:53,523 --> 00:05:56,342 What, do you want me to sing a torch song or something? 124 00:05:56,344 --> 00:05:58,915 - I'm fine. - Oh, Karen. 125 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,484 I know this is hard to swallow. 126 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,310 Yes, a T-shirt... 127 00:06:05,997 --> 00:06:08,158 It's a piece of paper. 128 00:06:08,183 --> 00:06:09,783 It doesn't mean anything. 129 00:06:09,785 --> 00:06:13,064 It's like a restraining order, or... 130 00:06:14,056 --> 00:06:16,109 the Constitution. 131 00:06:20,062 --> 00:06:21,828 Are you sure you're okay? 132 00:06:21,830 --> 00:06:24,030 Honey, I am better than ever, 133 00:06:24,032 --> 00:06:26,309 and I'm ready for my second act. 134 00:06:26,334 --> 00:06:27,934 Now, that's a great attitude 135 00:06:27,936 --> 00:06:29,235 to take into your next 100 years. 136 00:06:29,237 --> 00:06:30,582 Ah. 137 00:06:31,256 --> 00:06:33,456 Ooh, is this choc-y milk? 138 00:06:33,458 --> 00:06:35,670 You drink chocolate milk? 139 00:06:36,444 --> 00:06:38,711 It's my own vice. 140 00:06:40,999 --> 00:06:42,552 Shh. 141 00:06:43,752 --> 00:06:46,765 I'd love to stick around, but we all know that's not true. 142 00:06:48,123 --> 00:06:50,790 God, this stuff is addictive. 143 00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:52,729 I don't remember chocolate milk being so good. 144 00:06:53,328 --> 00:06:54,689 Will... 145 00:07:12,147 --> 00:07:13,813 I feel kind of funny. 146 00:07:13,815 --> 00:07:16,015 Wait, those kids were going out to party. 147 00:07:16,017 --> 00:07:17,517 Do you think they put something in this? 148 00:07:17,519 --> 00:07:19,452 No, they're law students. 149 00:07:19,454 --> 00:07:20,953 They wouldn't do anything illegal. 150 00:07:20,955 --> 00:07:22,522 Oh, okay... 151 00:07:22,524 --> 00:07:23,856 Oh, wait. Hold on. 152 00:07:23,858 --> 00:07:25,925 I gotta get that butterfly off your shoulder. 153 00:07:29,397 --> 00:07:30,863 Thanks... 154 00:07:30,865 --> 00:07:33,016 Must have come from over there. 155 00:07:37,906 --> 00:07:39,806 I don't remember putting in a butterfly door, 156 00:07:39,808 --> 00:07:41,641 but I like it. 157 00:07:45,922 --> 00:07:49,041 ♪ Ha-ba-da, bee-ba-da ♪ 158 00:07:49,043 --> 00:07:51,577 Oh, street meat. 159 00:07:51,579 --> 00:07:54,329 It's my one vice. Shh. 160 00:07:54,331 --> 00:07:56,498 One, please. 161 00:08:00,421 --> 00:08:03,338 Huh, that's unusual. 162 00:08:11,381 --> 00:08:13,048 Oh, crap. 163 00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:16,351 I forgot I was performing tonight. 164 00:08:16,353 --> 00:08:19,438 Oh, thanks, honey. 165 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,940 Testing, testing. Is this thing on? 166 00:08:21,942 --> 00:08:24,076 Check, check, one. Check, one, two. 167 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,340 - So, shall we look at fabrics? - Hold on. 168 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,719 I want my girlfriend to weigh in. 169 00:08:30,721 --> 00:08:32,307 Of course. I didn't know you were seeing anyone. 170 00:08:32,309 --> 00:08:34,379 She's new. Babe! 171 00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:35,914 Never been good at relationships, 172 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,417 probably 'cause I'm a bitch. 173 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,319 Okay, so, for the sofa, I was thinking that... 174 00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:42,854 What up, Smudge? 175 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:43,988 Janet, what are you doing here? 176 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,342 Her. 177 00:08:47,077 --> 00:08:48,762 You have got to be kidding me. 178 00:08:49,586 --> 00:08:51,119 I'm a lesbian now. 179 00:08:51,144 --> 00:08:52,474 Deal with it. 180 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,761 Poor thing. 181 00:09:08,765 --> 00:09:10,765 I'm gonna take her shoes. 182 00:09:19,276 --> 00:09:21,336 Your skin is so soft. 183 00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:26,007 It's so... soft. 184 00:09:26,616 --> 00:09:27,949 It's so, like... 185 00:09:28,118 --> 00:09:30,067 what is the word I'm thinking of? 186 00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:32,138 - Soft? - Yes! 187 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,256 You always find the word. 188 00:09:35,258 --> 00:09:37,292 I know so many words. 189 00:09:37,294 --> 00:09:38,710 Like what? 190 00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,188 Cassoulet... 191 00:09:40,877 --> 00:09:43,294 oh, I know there are others. 192 00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:45,133 It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. 193 00:09:45,135 --> 00:09:46,581 Words are just things people say. 194 00:09:46,583 --> 00:09:49,593 Yes, yes, yes. It's like we're beyond words. 195 00:09:49,595 --> 00:09:51,116 Those are words. 196 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,958 "Soulmate." There's a word. 197 00:09:54,983 --> 00:09:57,117 It's like that's the biggest word there is... 198 00:09:57,142 --> 00:09:58,675 not in terms of letters... 199 00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:01,033 Cassoulet is longer... but the idea. 200 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,935 - Yeah. - What is a soulmate? 201 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,771 Soulmate, soulmate. Hey, let's look at the word. 202 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,174 - Let's look at it. - Huh? 203 00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:12,293 Oh, air-finger cursive. 204 00:10:12,295 --> 00:10:13,722 It's a lost art. 205 00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:17,392 Right? Write? 206 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,468 Right? 207 00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:23,838 Soulmate... a soulmate is someone who knows you 208 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,474 better than anyone, who takes care of you, 209 00:10:26,476 --> 00:10:30,178 someone who knows what you need before you e... 210 00:10:32,349 --> 00:10:34,784 Why did you just hand me... 211 00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:37,592 A tissue? 212 00:10:37,594 --> 00:10:39,988 Are you my soulmate? 213 00:10:42,192 --> 00:10:45,026 I might be. How would we know for sure? 214 00:10:48,498 --> 00:10:50,842 Whoever this ring fits, 215 00:10:52,335 --> 00:10:54,554 is my soulmate. 216 00:10:56,272 --> 00:10:58,973 Ow. Ow. 217 00:10:58,998 --> 00:11:00,422 Ow... 218 00:11:00,468 --> 00:11:02,145 It fits! 219 00:11:07,050 --> 00:11:08,883 Okay, okay, this is happening. 220 00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:09,929 Told you she'd be weird about it. 221 00:11:09,931 --> 00:11:11,811 She doesn't want to think about her sister having sex. 222 00:11:11,813 --> 00:11:15,306 Well, who does, besides Angelina Jolie's brother? 223 00:11:16,526 --> 00:11:18,393 This conversation makes me wanna do heroin again. 224 00:11:18,395 --> 00:11:20,177 Let's look at fabrics. 225 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,363 Yes, fabrics. Of course. 226 00:11:22,365 --> 00:11:24,866 Um, and I also brought some new carpet samples... 227 00:11:24,868 --> 00:11:26,534 She's already seen a new carpet sample. 228 00:11:26,536 --> 00:11:28,736 Soon as it came out of my mouth. 229 00:11:30,206 --> 00:11:32,073 How did we not notice this before? 230 00:11:32,075 --> 00:11:33,541 My soulmate was right across the hall! 231 00:11:33,543 --> 00:11:35,159 Mine too! 232 00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:37,412 I mean, it's so obvious. We finish each other's... 233 00:11:37,414 --> 00:11:39,349 - Penises. - That's what I was gonna say. 234 00:11:40,781 --> 00:11:42,664 Okay, what am I thinking right now? 235 00:11:42,666 --> 00:11:45,355 - I'm not getting anything. - I wasn't thinking anything! 236 00:11:46,152 --> 00:11:48,620 Do you know what this means? Do you know what this means? 237 00:11:48,622 --> 00:11:50,672 I have to tell Estefan you're my soulmate before I marry him. 238 00:11:50,674 --> 00:11:52,207 He'll totally understand. Call him now. 239 00:11:52,209 --> 00:11:53,506 Oh, okay. Excellent. 240 00:11:53,508 --> 00:11:55,710 I just have to wait for that rabbit to get off the phone. 241 00:11:55,712 --> 00:11:59,180 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 242 00:11:59,182 --> 00:12:00,799 Wanda, Wanda, listen, no. 243 00:12:00,801 --> 00:12:03,122 You're the one who wanted an open relationship. 244 00:12:03,887 --> 00:12:06,206 Oh, I'm so glad you're my soulmate. 245 00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:08,139 - Me too. - I'm gonna make you a sandwich. 246 00:12:08,141 --> 00:12:09,858 - I don't want a sandwich. - Excuse me? 247 00:12:09,860 --> 00:12:11,726 I said I don't need you to make me a sandwich. 248 00:12:11,728 --> 00:12:13,361 Of course you do. I take care of you. 249 00:12:13,363 --> 00:12:16,197 - I'm your soulmate. - I already ate with Estefan. 250 00:12:16,199 --> 00:12:19,150 Well, just un-eat with him. 251 00:12:19,152 --> 00:12:20,368 I refuse! 252 00:12:20,370 --> 00:12:22,237 You bitch! 253 00:12:28,695 --> 00:12:30,078 Get out! I never wanna see you again. 254 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,297 I never wanna be seen by you! 255 00:12:37,652 --> 00:12:40,453 Hey, babe, what are we feeling about the wall color? 256 00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:41,924 Why? Do we think it's too dark? 257 00:12:41,926 --> 00:12:43,089 I think we might. 258 00:12:43,091 --> 00:12:44,724 Oh, I think we think it works. 259 00:12:44,726 --> 00:12:46,559 And how about we leave the designing to the designer 260 00:12:46,561 --> 00:12:49,229 instead of the woman who thinks the paper flip-flops you get 261 00:12:49,231 --> 00:12:52,431 after a pedicure are okay to wear synagogue? 262 00:12:52,433 --> 00:12:53,650 That's homophobic. 263 00:12:53,652 --> 00:12:55,285 Uh, okay. It's not. 264 00:12:55,287 --> 00:12:57,120 And you are not a lesbian. 265 00:12:57,122 --> 00:13:00,073 You're an Adler. We don't work that hard. 266 00:13:00,075 --> 00:13:01,440 I'm sorry. 267 00:13:01,442 --> 00:13:04,461 Donna, my sister is just as straight as I am. 268 00:13:04,463 --> 00:13:07,130 - Are you? Are you? Are you? - Yes, yes. 269 00:13:07,132 --> 00:13:09,063 Watch out. This is where it happens. 270 00:13:10,836 --> 00:13:12,502 Oh, that must be 271 00:13:12,504 --> 00:13:14,861 my intervention I keep rescheduling. 272 00:13:15,623 --> 00:13:17,757 You always think you're gonna have time. 273 00:13:19,261 --> 00:13:20,510 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 274 00:13:20,512 --> 00:13:22,145 Thank you so much. 275 00:13:22,147 --> 00:13:25,348 Benny and I are going to take it down a notch. 276 00:13:25,350 --> 00:13:28,022 This one is for my man... 277 00:13:29,154 --> 00:13:30,835 The one that got away. 278 00:13:31,690 --> 00:13:35,325 Jack? Jack! 279 00:13:35,327 --> 00:13:37,660 Will, Will! 280 00:13:37,662 --> 00:13:39,329 - Will! - I'm over here. 281 00:13:39,331 --> 00:13:41,314 Will, I was so lost. 282 00:13:41,316 --> 00:13:43,500 What's happening to us? 283 00:13:43,502 --> 00:13:45,308 I don't know. 284 00:13:46,505 --> 00:13:48,671 But I don't feel comfortable talking about it 285 00:13:48,673 --> 00:13:50,540 in front of her. 286 00:13:52,794 --> 00:13:54,660 - Praise be. - Under his eye. 287 00:13:56,831 --> 00:13:58,515 What are you doing? 288 00:13:58,517 --> 00:14:01,467 Just because you go out with guys without jobs, cars, 289 00:14:01,469 --> 00:14:04,354 or all of their fingers doesn't make you gay. 290 00:14:04,356 --> 00:14:06,339 Why can't you be happy for me? 291 00:14:06,341 --> 00:14:09,175 Because, honestly, I think that this is a little pathetic. 292 00:14:09,177 --> 00:14:10,393 I am not pathetic. 293 00:14:10,395 --> 00:14:12,564 - You say I'm not pathetic. - No. 294 00:14:12,566 --> 00:14:13,646 - Pick a city. - No! 295 00:14:13,648 --> 00:14:14,864 - Pick a city! - Philadelphia. 296 00:14:14,866 --> 00:14:18,318 - P-H-I-L-A... - Ow, ow, ow, ow. 297 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,654 Why don't I ever say LA? 298 00:14:23,408 --> 00:14:25,542 Fine! Be a lesbian. 299 00:14:25,544 --> 00:14:29,362 Have a Pussy Riot! Whatever. 300 00:14:29,364 --> 00:14:32,036 Just don't screw up this job for me. 301 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,217 - How am I screwing it up? - Because it's what you do. 302 00:14:34,219 --> 00:14:37,337 You always make my life so difficult. 303 00:14:37,339 --> 00:14:40,206 I mean, my God, you are my older sister. 304 00:14:40,208 --> 00:14:42,592 You're supposed to be the one to take care of me. 305 00:14:42,594 --> 00:14:44,543 It's true. I'm a terrible big sister. 306 00:14:44,545 --> 00:14:46,896 - Come on, Janet. - What? I am. 307 00:14:47,412 --> 00:14:48,997 And I hate that. 308 00:14:49,717 --> 00:14:52,185 When you were born, mom put you in my arms and said, 309 00:14:52,187 --> 00:14:54,354 "This is your baby. 310 00:14:54,356 --> 00:14:56,522 You have to take care of her." 311 00:14:56,524 --> 00:14:58,575 And I wanted to. 312 00:14:58,577 --> 00:15:00,693 I loved you so much. 313 00:15:00,695 --> 00:15:04,414 You put me into a basket and threw me into a pond. 314 00:15:04,416 --> 00:15:06,950 That's what Moses' mom did. 315 00:15:06,952 --> 00:15:09,335 I was trying to give you a better life. 316 00:15:14,409 --> 00:15:16,626 You are not a failure. 317 00:15:16,628 --> 00:15:19,245 If anything, I am. 318 00:15:19,247 --> 00:15:21,881 Mom said, "Life is harder for Janet. 319 00:15:21,883 --> 00:15:23,823 Be kind to her." 320 00:15:24,386 --> 00:15:26,219 And I haven't been. 321 00:15:26,221 --> 00:15:29,889 Look, if you are a lesbian, I will support you happily. 322 00:15:29,891 --> 00:15:32,442 I don't know if I am... 323 00:15:32,444 --> 00:15:34,894 Donna's cool. 324 00:15:34,896 --> 00:15:37,814 And she played me like a banjo. 325 00:15:48,743 --> 00:15:51,911 Well, you just ruined Mumford & Sons for me. 326 00:15:53,781 --> 00:15:57,000 - I'm a mess. - Who isn't? 327 00:15:59,671 --> 00:16:01,471 Now that mom's gone, 328 00:16:01,473 --> 00:16:05,308 maybe we should do that thing she always wanted us to do. 329 00:16:05,310 --> 00:16:08,928 Neither one of us is gonna marry Josh Groban. 330 00:16:08,930 --> 00:16:11,931 No. Look out for each other. 331 00:16:13,301 --> 00:16:15,652 Isn't that what sisters do? 332 00:16:15,654 --> 00:16:17,654 I love you, Janet. 333 00:16:17,656 --> 00:16:19,772 I love you so much. 334 00:16:21,776 --> 00:16:24,444 ♪ Good riddance ♪ 335 00:16:24,446 --> 00:16:27,780 ♪ Good-bye ♪ 336 00:16:27,782 --> 00:16:31,784 ♪ Every trick of his ♪ 337 00:16:31,786 --> 00:16:36,822 ♪ You're on to ♪ 338 00:16:36,824 --> 00:16:40,460 ♪ But fools will be fools ♪ 339 00:16:40,462 --> 00:16:42,295 ♪ And where's he ♪ 340 00:16:42,297 --> 00:16:47,633 ♪ Gone to? ♪ 341 00:16:47,635 --> 00:16:50,970 ♪ The road is rougher ♪ 342 00:16:50,972 --> 00:16:54,891 ♪ It's lonelier and tougher ♪ 343 00:16:54,893 --> 00:16:57,643 ♪ With hope you burn up ♪ 344 00:16:57,645 --> 00:17:01,680 ♪ Tomorrow he may turn up ♪ 345 00:17:01,682 --> 00:17:04,867 ♪ There's just no letup ♪ 346 00:17:04,869 --> 00:17:07,019 ♪ The livelong night ♪ 347 00:17:07,021 --> 00:17:12,075 ♪ And day ♪ 348 00:17:12,077 --> 00:17:17,530 ♪ Ever since this world began ♪ 349 00:17:17,532 --> 00:17:20,750 ♪ There is nothing ♪ 350 00:17:20,752 --> 00:17:25,922 ♪ Sadder than ♪ 351 00:17:28,510 --> 00:17:35,681 ♪ A one-man woman ♪ 352 00:17:37,902 --> 00:17:41,070 ♪ Looking for ♪ 353 00:17:41,072 --> 00:17:48,444 ♪ The man that got ♪ 354 00:17:49,914 --> 00:17:57,086 ♪ Away ♪ 355 00:17:57,622 --> 00:18:00,790 ♪ The man ♪ 356 00:18:00,792 --> 00:18:06,763 ♪ That got ♪ 357 00:18:08,633 --> 00:18:15,638 ♪ Away ♪ 358 00:18:21,763 --> 00:18:24,964 Bravo! 359 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:34,453 How you feeling? 360 00:18:34,455 --> 00:18:38,017 Better, although I do miss the butterflies. 361 00:18:38,926 --> 00:18:41,093 Oh, God! Oh. 362 00:18:43,264 --> 00:18:45,264 Do I need to say anything to the school 363 00:18:45,266 --> 00:18:48,033 about my students lacing chocolate milk with drugs? 364 00:18:48,035 --> 00:18:50,002 Depends, I mean, 365 00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:51,337 do you wanna do the right thing, 366 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:54,173 or be the cool teacher that all the kids like? 367 00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:57,243 - Eh, they're adults. - Yeah. 368 00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:02,031 You know, all that stuff we said about soulmates 369 00:19:02,033 --> 00:19:04,834 and sandwiches... that was because of the... 370 00:19:04,836 --> 00:19:06,168 we were chocolate milking, right? 371 00:19:06,170 --> 00:19:09,288 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 372 00:19:09,290 --> 00:19:10,716 I mean... 373 00:19:12,326 --> 00:19:14,470 - What? - Nothing, I... 374 00:19:15,179 --> 00:19:17,046 When you get married, 375 00:19:17,048 --> 00:19:19,164 you're still gonna need me, right? 376 00:19:19,166 --> 00:19:21,183 I mean, Estefan can have "soulmate," 377 00:19:21,185 --> 00:19:24,186 but I'm not losing "best friend." 378 00:19:24,188 --> 00:19:27,389 Ugh. You're so obsessed with me. 379 00:19:30,344 --> 00:19:33,195 Of course you're my best friend, silly. 380 00:19:33,197 --> 00:19:34,980 Well, let's make it official. 381 00:19:38,018 --> 00:19:40,018 Jack, I'm asking you, 382 00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:42,238 in front of God, 383 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,407 and all the high-end male erotica in this apartment. 384 00:19:47,528 --> 00:19:50,880 Do you promise to be in my life forever? 385 00:19:52,049 --> 00:19:53,718 I do. 386 00:19:54,201 --> 00:19:58,170 I promise to be here through all your weight fluctuations... 387 00:19:58,172 --> 00:19:59,922 Mm-hmm. 388 00:19:59,924 --> 00:20:03,175 Every relationship you trick a man into being a part of... 389 00:20:03,177 --> 00:20:05,060 Mm. 390 00:20:05,062 --> 00:20:07,229 All the botched cosmetic surgery I'm sure... 391 00:20:07,231 --> 00:20:09,231 Okay, you're done. You're good. You're good. 392 00:20:09,233 --> 00:20:12,101 And I... I promise 393 00:20:12,103 --> 00:20:14,363 to always lend you money, 394 00:20:15,055 --> 00:20:19,408 to not get mad when you return my suit with the ass cut out, 395 00:20:19,410 --> 00:20:21,954 It said, "business casual." 396 00:20:26,117 --> 00:20:28,334 I know, buddy. 397 00:20:29,453 --> 00:20:31,253 - Hey, Will. - Mm, yeah? 398 00:20:31,255 --> 00:20:34,373 You can make me that sandwich now. 399 00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:36,458 I'd love to, but when we were high, 400 00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:39,430 I used all the bread to retile the bathroom. 401 00:21:10,110 --> 00:21:12,110 Good-bye, 402 00:21:12,112 --> 00:21:15,280 Mrs. Stanley Walker. 27977

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