All language subtitles for The Royals s02e03 Is Not This Something More Than Fantasy.eng

Previously on The Royals...

Your doctor called. He needs
to see you once. It's urgent.

I have cancer. Of the balls.

Testicular cancer?

No, lung cancer in my balls.
Yes, testicular cancer.

This was hanging around my neck the
night before the King was killed.

It wasn't me.

We figure this out, we figure out
who's been killing my family.

And then we make them pay.

Hey.

Beck, what are you doing here?

I left her.

It's always been you.

I like you when you say my name.

(Whispers) Say it again.

Eleanor.

Your first order of
business is to pass our bill.

Understood.

- Is he?
- Yes. Dead.

'Wait till Moorefield hears about this.

He's been whoring himself out
to a couple of half-wits.'

Get me a meeting with the
Deputy Prime Minister.

I don't have time for
tea with the Queen.

Tell her I'll think about
it and let her know.

I don't believe in someday.

Lucky for you I do.

(NICK) 'I hope the fairy
tale works out for you.'

- I really do.
- Nick...

He saw you coming. The man
in the striped jacket.

He called you... tenacious.

You've been retracing Dad's steps
ever since the day he died.

Retrace yours.

Find that thing that...
that made you happy.

I need to do some things alone,

and I need you to trust me.

(Knocking)

Hi.

Sorry, I... I tried calling you.

But you changed your number, so...

Yeah.

You look good.

- Liam, I do not look good.
- Yes, you do.

- Thanks.
-
She's climbing out now

(Bubbling)

Morning.

So much for slowing down.

- Eleanor.
- What?

Last night... you said you liked
it when I said your name.

- I did?
- Mm-hm.

- I do.
- Mm.

I do. I...

I just don't quite remember saying it.

- Okay.
- Hey!

Nope. You packed the bowl,

now go pack a bag.

We're going away for the weekend.

Where are we going?

It's a surprise.

Will it top the club opening
in Chelsea tonight, though?

So much better than Chelsea.

Just pack some things.

I'll speak with James, and
see if he'll stand down.

- James?
- Your security detail.

Right. Yes, of course, James.

He amuses me. James.

You amuse me.

Off we go.

I love a surprise.

(Bubbling)

I hate surprises. Quit being
so dramatic and spit it out.

Despite our best efforts
to eradicate your cancer,

it seems we're losing the war.

You say "we" as if
somehow you're involved.

We need to remove a testicle.

Let me get this straight.
We're losing the war,

but I'm losing a nut. Which one?

- I'm sorry?
- Which one am I losing?

- Erm... Your right one.
- (Sighs) The big one.

Your Majesty, try and
focus on the positives.

Tell you what, I'll
hack off one of yours

and let's see how positive you are.

What I mean to say is that
by removing the testicle

we feel strongly that we can
eradicate the cancer from your body.

So I'll beat cancer but be a freak.

Cosmetically, there are testicular
implants available. Prosthetics.

I'll arrange for you
to see some samples.

There's no other way?

I'm afraid not.

If I do this, I'll be okay?

We have every reason to
believe you will be.

Medically, we can only do so much.

But positive thinking, diet, exercise,

your support group,
these things matter.

You're the King of England,

you can engender the
goodwill of a nation.

Channel the power of the
people who love you.

So, basically, I'm screwed.

(Footsteps)

- Your Majesty?
- God's sake, it's about time.

Why is she so late?

The Deputy Prime Minister
won't be coming today.

She'd better be dead,
like the last one.

It seems she canceled.

She sent word that she's simply
too busy to meet with you.

Who do you think you are?

Wow!

It seems the press gang's all here.

- Mr. Crenshaw.
- Your Majesty.

And you must be our
Deputy Prime Minister.

My apologies, they didn't
tell me you were disabled.

Your Majesty, I seem to
have forgotten my manners.

Yes, and for the second time today.

Gentlemen, I look forward
to seeing you all soon.

And let's be honest, not near as much

as you look forward to seeing me.

(Laughter)

Walk away.

Yes, you can all just... go out.

- (Door closes)
- Please, sit.

Perhaps a refresher
course in etiquette.

I'm the Queen of England. I
speak first, I sit first,

and I certainly don't wait for you.

You wait for me and you don't cancel.

Of course. My apologies.

I think I'll sit.

Might I say what an honor
and a privilege it is

to meet Your Majesty.

I've admired you since I was young.

But not too young.

You were recently working closely
with the Prime Minister, yes?

On a bill to alter the
order of succession?

The Prime Minister was
in full agreement

that it was the right and
prudent thing to do.

Cyrus's children are not
fit to rule the country.

Of course they're not, but then...
none of you are.

The people elect their leaders.

The leaders protect their people.

The monarchy is simply
a national exhibit.

Like going to the zoo or visiting

an antiquated part of our history.

You intrigue me, um...

Rani. It means queen.

Of course it does.

First you cancel your audience
with the actual Queen,

not just someone with a pretend name,

and then you call me antiquated.

Both occasions simply reflect
the modernity of England.

A Prime Minister's work is never done.

You don't seem to understand
you're not yet Prime Minister

and never will be if
I decide against it.

It's tragic that you
actually believe that.

And even more tragic that
everyone lets you believe it.

No-one lets me do anything,
and certainly not you.

- Do I offend Your Majesty?
- Yes, you do.

Mostly with your stupidity, and
partly with your arrogance.

But what's most offensive are
your knock-off Jimmy Choos.

This is not Soho House Chicago.

Pull yourself together.

Your bill is dead, Queenie.

And so is the only hope
you had with the people.

And so is the last person
that sat in that chair.

Don't get too comfortable. These
are shark-infested waters

and those fake tits won't
keep you afloat for long.

(Door opens and closes)

- (LIAM) How's your coffee?
- (OPHELIA) I got tea.

- Yours?
- I got coffee.

- It's good.
- (Laughs)

- I want to apologize.
- You don't have to.

But I found out about your audition.

I felt like I was putting you first.

I was trying to be honorable.

I was trying to shield you from
the dangers and madness of my world.

But I should have asked you
instead of telling you.

It was your choice to make, not mine.

Thank you for saying that.

I've missed you.

That's not fair.

Ophelia!

I'm sorry.

What do you think?

Tell me there's a music
festival or something nearby.

Actually, the opposite.

I thought you could use
a little quiet time.

Why, have you met me?

Never understood why people
like going to the country.

There's nothing to do.

I have an amazing bed.

I like the country.

- Come on.
- Ooh!

So this is what it comes to.

You wait your entire life to be King...

..and then they cut off your balls.

It's just one ball, sir. Sac
half full, if you will.

Sir, if I may, perhaps the
doctor was onto something.

I mean, the power of positive thinking.

The support of the people.

As you said, you've waited
a lifetime to be king.

It would be a shame to
cut that lifetime short.

Maybe you're right.

Perhaps a charity.

Or one of those bum buffets.

I think the term is "soup
kitchen", Your Majesty.

Soup kitchen!

Lucius, have the press
meet us at a soup kitchen.

Let's see if we can't
generate a little goodwill.

Hm.

Len.

Put your phone away, you're missing it.

What?

Beck, I've seen the country.

A girl needs to eat.

You know that bed you
were bragging about?

- Yeah.
- Picnic blanket is the new bed.

(Cheering)

(Applause and whistling)

Oh!

Come on.

I asked you all here today
because I've had an epiphany.

Our country has always
helped those less fortunate.

It troubles me to see
so many with so little.

And so I pledge to you all here today,

the monarchy will match

whatever funds Parliament will pledge,

in perpetuity,

in order to make us a happier,

healthier, truly United Kingdom.

(Cheering)

You know the King owns all
mute swans in England.

They're lucky to be mute.

They don't have to worry
about what to say.

I know you're upset with me.

How could I not be?

You know I care about dancing

and you didn't think I
could do it on my own.

That's absolutely not true.
I've always believed in you.

At first I thought the other
dancers in the company

were just avoiding me
because I was the new girl.

Then I thought maybe it had
something to do with us.

So, I tried befriending them and
that's when I learned the truth.

That apparently my place in the company

was the result of a favor
called in by the palace.

Ophelia, I promise you I
knew nothing about this.

It doesn't matter. I
couldn't stay there.

- I didn't earn it.
- You did earn it.

You'd have earned it every day.

It was just like Monaco.

Something that was real and
truthful, something that mattered,

was twisted into something
ugly because of your world.

I told you, Liam, I wanted
you, not your world.

But they're both the same thing.

- They don't have to be.
- Yes, they do.

Your world is their
world, no matter what.

I wish it wasn't, but it is.

And it always will be.

I wanted everything you wanted.

With you and for you.

I didn't know about the rest of it.

I can tell you didn't know.

And I appreciate you coming
all this way to tell me.

But like you said on the
plane, you have to go back.

This time I need you to go.

Don't give up.

On any of it.

Good news, sir.

Positive press from
today's hobo hugging?

Not yet, sir, but the samples are here.

Samples?

Your prosthetic testicle, sir.

Come.

(Dogs barking)

What on earth is going on?

The footmen think you're considering
getting a royal pooch, Your Majesty.

And dogs don't talk to the media.

Shrewd, Lucius.

Good God, look at the sac on that one.

I'd bruise my thighs playing squash.

It'll look very impressive
when not playing squash, sir.

Point taken. To hell with squash.

The bulldog then, sir?

A marvelous choice. Away!

(Whining and barking)

Good God! Are you eating dog now?

Only the fluffy ones.

You look distressed.

I won't be when you agree not to
approve the Deputy Prime Minister.

Then I suppose you will be distressed.

Have you seen her approval rating?
The people love her.

- Since when do you care about the people?
- I love the people.

Cyrus, you told a kid with
Down's Syndrome to try harder.

You find the people reprehensible
and they feel the same about you.

You should worry more
about betraying anyone

who can actually tolerate you,

of which there are very few left.

(NOTHING BUT THIEVES: If I Get High)

Excuse me.

Will you turn around?

I like the country.

Who knew?

You don't happen to have
some secret underground

liquor cabinet anywhere
nearby, by any chance?

I'm afraid not.

Just when I was thinking
you'd thought of everything.

Well, I did think of it,
then decided against it.

- Why?
- Well, let's see.

I woke up to you smoking a bong,

your bedroom looks like a chemist's

and you can't recall half of our
conversation from last night.

Right, so this whole weekend getaway,

it's actually more
like an intervention.

It's not an intervention.

You just need to simmer down a bit.

Right.

I'm trying to make
things better for you.

If you didn't want me to drink
all you had to do was say it.

You didn't have to trick me.

We could have gone to the club.
I wouldn't have gone so deep.

Eleanor, you know you would have.

This whole day, it
feels like a lie now.

It's not a lie.

I brought you here because I wanted
you to get some peace and quiet.

A little silence.

I wanted to be alone with you.

Eleanor, don't be angry.

- I'm not.
- Then where are you going?

Outdoor sex is overrated.

Let's go try out that bed of yours.

Come on!

- Liam!
- I'm not giving up.

I know I told you not to give up on
your dancing, on us, on any of it.

But I should have said,
I'm not giving up.

We can rebuild this, Ophelia.

- I can't.
- You can. We can.

We were so good together and
we could have been great,

and I know I messed that up.

But we can fix it. We
can make our someday.

Liam, I can't.

Babe, who is it?

Liam.

Nick, hey. Er... hi.

Hey. What are you doing here?

I was just erm... headed home.

Wanted to wish you both my best.

Thanks. You sure you can't stay?

Yeah, yeah, unfortunately, I'm sure.

It's good seeing you.

It always is.

Liam!

No, you were right, this
wasn't fair to you.

He's a great guy and
you're a great girl.

You take care of yourself.
Take care of each other.

I didn't know how to tell you.

Ophelia, it's okay.

I'll see you someday.

I'm not kissing her ring.

She should be kissing my ass.

Some low-rent Deputy PM
with a stick up her bum!

She's lucky she's got the stick.

Less room for my foot up there.

With complete respect,
I'm merely suggesting

there is a time for the whip
and a time for the feather.

Considering the time and effort Her
Majesty has so skillfully invested,

perhaps feather is the wiser play.

Fine, I'll try the feather.

If that doesn't work,
I'm burning Parliament

to the ground, like that distillery.

Now that was enjoyable,
for me and the cows.

Speaking of cows, find
out her shoe size.

Of course, Your Majesty.

Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot.

The right foot should be wearing these.

They're stunning.

But I'm afraid I can't accept them.

Nonsense! Consider them a gift.

But, you see, if I accept a gift,

it could be perceived as a bribe,

and that would be inappropriate.

It's a pair of shoes,
not Northern Ireland.

I'm sorry.

You're serious.

Well, I tried.

You do understand we're
the same, you and I?

We employ the same tactics.

The icy glare so you never
have to raise your voice,

a little cleavage, the
occasional bat of the eyes,

all to hide the fact that you're
the smartest person in the room,

and you're about to get
exactly what you want.

The difference is,

I'm in a more relevant
position of power.

Not yet.

I will be.

When the King confirms me, I
will quietly but effectively

convince the people that the
monarchy's time has passed.

Ooh.

If that's true, why
are we such a threat?

You're not. You're a nuisance.

And when the monarchy goes
away, when you go away...

..I'll still be here.

And all the shoes, all the fake smiles,

and all the Queen's men
can't change that.

Monarchy's on its last legs.

My legs are better.

Ask ten people on the street

who the Deputy Prime Minister is.

Ask them to name the last five PMs

or any member of Parliament.

Then ask them who the Queen is.

My name's for ever.

Yours will be forgotten.

Quite possibly never known
in the first place.

Any news of the King, Lucius?

Nothing that can't wait till
after your surgery, sir.

Let me see it.

(Sighs)

"The out of touch monarch
tried to sound sincere

but failed miserably, extolling
the benefits of charity

while wearing a pair of
?10,000 bespoke Oxfords.

Meanwhile, the People's Prince was seen

nobly flying in coach class."

Blah, blah, blah!

(Lucius clears his throat)

The People's Prince!

I should have thought about the shoes.

I over-extended myself.
It's my own fault.

I will have our people

generate some positive spin
at once, Your Majesty.

It won't matter. Boy Wonder
flies coach and is God's gift.

I'm giving money to charity
and having my balls cut off

and nobody gives a shit about me.

- It's just one ball, sir.
- I know it's just one ball!

(DUSTIN TEBBUTT: The Breach)

Would you mind pulling over here?

I think I'll just walk a bit.

No security police. I'll be fine.

Hello, Prince.

Who are you?

Your worst nightmare.

- What do you want?
- Want?

We want to have sex with you.

- What?
- Oh, yes.

We wanna have all the sex with you

and you're gonna love it so much.

Holden?

(Shouting and laughter)

Assholes! You freaked me out.
Don't do that!

Yeah, but didn't you love the idea of
being our sex slave just a little bit.

- You are a piece of work.
- It was my brother's idea.

We had to kidnap you to
take you out tonight.

Guys, I'm not going
out, I'm going home.

Dude, you're already out.

The only one not out here is Ashok.
Right, darling?

(Laughter)

(Pounding dance music)

A little pop-up I threw in your honor.

I call it Rebound.

- Shall we?
- One drink.

Of course.

Hey! D-Throned. Leave her alone.

- You just broke my phone.
- Yeah? I just broke a nail,

and they cost more
than your shit phone.

Slag.

- Thanks.
- All good.

I actually don't even
know what slag means.

I'll see ya.

- She has a boyfriend.
- Ooh.

I know the guy.

Seems like what she wants.

- What do you want?
- I want her to be happy.

I want this beer, and about
six more just like them.

Oh, my God!

I'm drunk.

Polo match. You were stalking
the stripy suit guy.

Right.

Wilhelmina.

Oh, my shoes are killing me.

Oh... You guys wanna drink shots?

Erm... maybe later.

Disappointing.

Okay, we love her.

Oh, no. It's my dad.

- I got it.
- You sure?

I love your father.

Oh, my God. Dad's here.

Why couldn't he have died
like all the good rock stars?

(Dance music)

- What are you drinking?
- Shots.

Of?

I read once that if
you're gonna take a shot,

it should be something you feel,
like, tequila or whiskey.

Nothing with juice or some funny name.

I absolutely agree. Who wrote that?

I don't know. Hemingway or J.K.
Rowling.

Someone like that.

So, what's your poison?

Drugs, booze, boys?

- Yes!
- (Laughs) Okay.

I hear that.

Except the first two got me
in trouble with the third,

so I kind of sexed him
into a coma and snuck out.

Well played. So, no boys.

How about booze? You game?

I'm so game.

- I'm Len.
- I know.

I mean, I'd like to pretend
I'm all cool and I don't,

but the truth is, your
fashion sense is amazing.

We all think you're a badass rock star.

- Who's we?
- Models.

I'm a model. Mandy.

To feeling this in the morning.

Beats feeling nothing at all.

Ahh! I'm telling you, they should
all be ashamed of themselves.

Every so-called rock band out there.

I was backstage at a Linkin Park show
and they were all on their laptops.

Answering e-mails and doing charity.

I said, "Oi. You're
supposed to be a rock band.

Smash something, you pussies!" (Laughs)

Oh. Alright. Here we go.

This bird's been looking
this way all night.

I hope she's looking at me, but
worried she's looking at you.

And if she's looking at Ivan the whole
lot of us are gonna be disappointed.

No, no, no, no.

I do love my sons. Always will.

But I never would have guessed it.

One loves excess and
the other loves men.

I blame their moms.

Oh! Here she comes.

- Hi.
- Son of a bitch!

Hi.

I'm not much for small talk so...

I was wondering if you
wanted to leave with me?

I'm sorry. I can't.

Okay. I guess I tried.

Hey.

I said I couldn't leave
with you, because I can't.

(Paparazzi calling out)

Put your address in my phone
and I'll see you there.

Uh-uh. I would, but I have
to shoot in a few hours.

And I really need to get some sleep.

And that's one of the things you said
you got into trouble with your man for.

So, I'm just saying.

This from the girl who just poured an
entire bottle of whiskey down my throat?

Okay, well, I never said
that I wasn't a hypocrite.

But I really do gotta go home, so,
thank you for the amazing night.

Thank you.

Um... now I know you probably have
some kind of royal background check

that I will fail miserably,

but I had the best time tonight,

so, if you want, I can
give you my number

and we can go out again.

Or give you my two cents about
your boyfriend situation,

or just listen or whatever.

Yeah. That would be great.
Let's do that.

Alright. I'm gonna go. Are
you sure you're okay?

Bitch, I'm fine.

Walk away, so I can look at
your seriously great ass.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Wait!

Firstly, I was right about your ass.

Secondly... what is your two cents?

You sure you wanna hear it?

Yeah.

Well, you're sneaking out
during the brand-new,

blissed out, non-stop sex phase.

Have you ever had a relationship
that got better than that?

But what do I know? I'm
sure he's amazing.

- Yeah.
- Timing is everything, right?

Yeah.

- Good luck.
- Thanks.

If you're looking for
Princess Eleanor's stash,

- it's to the left.
- You know about this?

You think I come to work sober?

It's been a long week.

A feather didn't work
with the Deputy PM.

If I'm gonna pass my bill, I
need to find another way.

I can ask around.

Those PMs are rather kinky.

A little blackmail goes a long way.

Hm. Well, I guess it's
time for the whip.

Literally.

How are you feeling, Your Majesty?

I'm feeling fine.

Stop here. I'll walk
the rest of the way.

Sir, the doctor said no.

I can't be seen in a wheelchair.

Someone will notify the press.

(Grunts)

I'll walk.

(Groans)

How was it?

It was fun. I'm sorry if I worried you.

I was already worried.

That's why I brought you here.

I know who you are and
all that comes with it.

I was just hoping I could add
a little quiet to your noise.

Quiet is difficult for
me right now, Beck.

The noise is... how I breathe.

It's what gets me through the day.

But you know that's temporary, right?

It won't always be that way.

What if it is?

What if this is who... who I am?

You know, you're always
telling me who I can be.

What if this is me, this version?

You know, loud, messy,
shit-show princess.

It's not.

Don't blame me for seeing a better you.

For believing in the
best version of you.

Of course I don't.

I love you for it.

(DAUGHTER: Lifeforms)

But it just reminds me
of how broken I am.

It makes me feel like I'm
constantly disappointing you.

Not to mention that my
father felt the same way.

You left your wife for me.

I left my wife... and
the noise of her world.

And then... I chose you.

You have a type.

No.

There's no type when it comes to you.

You're in a place all of your own.

I know you mean that as a compliment.

But it feels like I am.

Alone.

And I know it's my fault,
because you show up

and you're incredible to me, but...

..I can't be quiet right now, Beck.

I need to be.

Our timing always sucks.

(Breathing heavily)

Your Majesty?

Let me help you.

- I can do it.
- Of course you can.

But don't be so stubborn. Everybody
needs a little help sometimes.

Let's not say goodbye.

- Let's just say...
- I love you.

They always do.

Come on, guys. I'm just a girl.

I get my heart broken, too.

Could you just stop this, this once?

- (All call out)
- Come on, guys.

Please! Just...

(Eleanor sobs)

(They continue to call out)

(Paparazzi call out)

-
Oh, you

You need to drink lots
of fluids and stay put.

You shouldn't have been on your
feet after surgery like that.

I didn't have surgery.

My father had cancer.
He was stubborn too.

I would prefer it if you
didn't speak of this.

Of course I won't.

We're not allowed to tell anything
that happens in the palace.

Your drink. And then get some sleep.

You seem sad. Is it the
pain or something else?

They don't like me.

- Who?
- People.

They don't like me and they never will.

Well, I like you.

- What's your name?
- Violet.

Thank you, Violet.

You seem nice.

Not like the rest of them.

You seem nice too. You're funny.

And, anyway, what do you care
if they like you or not?

You're the King of England.

They still have to do what you say.

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- www.addic7ed.com -

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