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Kenny: Every since I came out,
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my mom and I have been
having a hard time connecting.
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00:00:03,745 --> 00:00:05,659
Luckily, we have "Project Runway."
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It's a place where she can be critical
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00:00:07,052 --> 00:00:08,941
and I can be gay without her noticing.
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That dress looks like a trash bag.
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No, I think it is a trash bag.
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This is the trash bag challenge.
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Well, it looks like garbage.
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Tim: That dress looks like garbage.
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[Laughs]
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Yeah, get over here.
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That's right, Tim Gunn.
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Kenny: Yep. "Runway" brought us together.
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And then it tore us apart.
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What's in the bag?
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Mm, well, you know how last night,
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Tim Gunn said that mesh is the new black?
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I think he called it "mesh-merizing."
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The only reason to watch
that show is to possibly get
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a flash of side booby
when the models change.
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No, Jimmy, it's great.
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If you like to watch people sewing.
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Well, they're crazy.
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Crazy.
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Anyway, I saw this cool
mesh shirt at fashion junkie,
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and I was thinking, I've been
wanting to update my look,
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you've been wanting me
to get a part-time job...
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00:00:50,052 --> 00:00:52,151
No. You are not getting
a job at fashion junkie.
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They advertise with actual junkies.
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00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:57,941
Mom, I can buy things
and you can critique them.
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It'll be like "Runway" all the time!
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That's the kind of thing
I like on my television,
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but I don't want it in my home.
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00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:05,061
"That kind of thing"?
What does that mean?
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It means...
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You're not a mesh-shirt kind of person.
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That's a different kind
of person. That's not you.
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What she means is, I'm not
that kind of gay person.
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But what my mom didn't know
was that I was currently
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wearing the shirt under the one I had on.
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Are you currently wearing the
shirt under the one you have on?
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No.
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I feel texture.
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[Groans] Come on, Mom!
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Kenny, if you want to take up sports,
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then you can wear mesh.
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Yeah, Kenny, do something straight,
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like wrestle men in your underwear.
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Then you can wear what you want.
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[Chuckling] Yeah. Nice one!
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Whoo!
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[Chuckles]
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"Nice"? What's nice?
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Is something fun happening up here?
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Mom won't let me wear a stylish shirt
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made of a controversial fabric.
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Well, we could always go
downstairs to Dad's house
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and talk about it over there,
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where I've been alone
for the last 48 hours.
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Not complaining.
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Feel free. Door's always open.
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Come on down and... You know...
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Just check and see if I've choked.
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00:02:06,072 --> 00:02:08,622
My mom thinks she knows
what kind of gay person I am,
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but how could she?
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I'm still trying to figure it out myself.
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00:02:12,002 --> 00:02:14,061
I'm still trying to
figure out that shirt.
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00:02:14,062 --> 00:02:16,397
Tim Gunn, I thought you
said mesh was the new black.
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In this case, mesh is the new bleccch!
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Synced and corrected by VitoSilans
- www.Addic7ed.com -
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[Knock on door]
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Eileen: Kenny?
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Come in!
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Kenny, I've been thinking a lot
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about this whole mesh thing, and...
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I realize I may not have
come off the way I intended.
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Thank you, Mom. I... sometimes...
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You're also forbidden to
wear leather, pleather,
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silks, lam?s, or anything
with flowers on it.
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And it goes without saying,
obviously, nothing from Zara.
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Mom, I'm gay. I'm not European.
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I appreciate you wanting to make money,
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so I made a list of acceptable jobs.
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You can oil pews at the church,
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00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:02,011
wash father Phil's car,
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00:03:02,012 --> 00:03:04,081
work at a Catholic senior-living facility.
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Is there anything that doesn't involve me
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00:03:06,962 --> 00:03:09,011
washing church things and/or old people?
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[Chuckles]
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00:03:11,062 --> 00:03:14,001
Tutoring. Okay, yeah. No, I'll do that.
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Great!
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Take it off.
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Seriously?! Through an inch
and a half of Terry Cloth?!
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00:03:20,052 --> 00:03:22,021
Pat: Hey, guys, come down to my basement!
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I got a fun surprise for ya!
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00:03:23,082 --> 00:03:24,991
Ugh. No.
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00:03:24,992 --> 00:03:27,031
Dad's trying to have fun
with us in the basement again.
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00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:29,041
I wish you'd stop
misusing the word "fun."
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Hey, guys! Who wants to
have fun killing a spider?
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00:03:31,982 --> 00:03:34,041
Hey, guys, who wants to do a fun puzzle?
102
00:03:34,042 --> 00:03:36,950
Hey, guys, who wants to come
see my fun new popcorn machine?
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[Microwave dings]
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It's like when the dentist
gives you free floss.
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Just give it up, man. We know it sucks.
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[Chuckles]
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[Dog barking]
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Oh, my God. Dad got a dog.
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[Barking continues]
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Meet the newest member of our family.
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Mom says we're not allowed
to have a dog in the house.
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Well, since we're getting a divorce,
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the basement is technically my house,
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and I make the rules, so
he's allowed down here.
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And so are you.
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Can we name him Brad?
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Yeah, if that's what you want.
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That is literally the
only thing that I want.
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- Okay.
- Where did you find him?
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He's a police dog.
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00:04:11,082 --> 00:04:13,051
Remember that suspicious
package downtown last Christmas
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that turned out to be a bag of apples?
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All sergeant Hoffman... or Brad.
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Classic Brad. [Laughs]
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[Chuckles]
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Yes, I'm still wearing the tie.
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First day on the job. Dress to impress.
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Stand up straight, shoulders back.
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Look them in the eye, firm handshake.
130
00:04:28,982 --> 00:04:30,131
Oh, and there's some matches in your bag
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in case a number two pops out.
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Okay. I got to go. I'm gonna be late.
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Don't worry. Time is just a construct.
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00:04:37,072 --> 00:04:39,021
True.
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Uh, hi. I'm Kenny. Uh, I'm the tutor.
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I'm here for Jonathan.
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00:04:43,962 --> 00:04:45,031
Oh, it's Yonathan.
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00:04:45,032 --> 00:04:47,061
Are you "yoking"? [Chuckles]
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You're not. I'm sorry.
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He's inside. I'm his mom... Sandra.
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Come in.
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00:04:51,112 --> 00:04:52,131
Okay.
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00:04:52,132 --> 00:04:54,051
Kick off your shoes.
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00:04:54,052 --> 00:04:56,061
We go barefoot in our house.
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Really?
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I've never... Seen my mom's feet before.
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And feel free to take off your tie.
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You look like a tiny accountant.
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[Chuckling] You're so fun!
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00:05:05,122 --> 00:05:06,971
You're so fun!
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00:05:06,972 --> 00:05:08,141
We should've gotten a tutor earlier.
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00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,951
Right? [Laughs]
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No, I'm serious. Yonathan's
really struggling.
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Okay.
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So, the kid I'm tutoring, he's
gonna need a lot more help.
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He's more of a tactile, visual learner.
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00:05:18,992 --> 00:05:20,101
Mm. So he's dumb?
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00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:23,011
Um, Sandra says he is
intellectually free-spirited.
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Sandra sounds dumb, too. Who is she?
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Uh, she's the mom.
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00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:28,981
And she's not dumb. She's
actually really smart.
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00:05:28,982 --> 00:05:31,031
She was teaching me
all about gut bacteria.
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Oh, do tell.
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Well, I can't explain
it as well as Sandra,
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but basically, we should
be buying probiotic yogurt.
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00:05:38,002 --> 00:05:40,021
You know that yogurt stuff is a scam.
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It's like pressed
juice and chiropractors.
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00:05:42,112 --> 00:05:45,011
And we don't call adults
by their first names.
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Mom, Sandra's house is just different.
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They discuss ideas.
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She asks you about yourself
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and waits until you've
finished talking...
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sounds amazing.
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I'm just saying, she is very in tune
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with her family and surroundings.
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So am I.
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00:06:04,082 --> 00:06:05,141
Did we get a dog?
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00:06:05,142 --> 00:06:07,142
[Laughs] Don't be ridiculous.
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I don't want it in the kitchen,
I don't want it on the couch.
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I am not walking it or clipping its nails
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or brushing its fur.
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00:06:14,621 --> 00:06:16,981
Don't worry, Eileen. You
will not have to do anything.
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This is gonna be my responsibility.
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00:06:18,922 --> 00:06:20,942
Last time you said that,
we had a shotgun wedding.
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00:06:23,381 --> 00:06:26,021
Well, buzzkill's gone, guys.
Let's have some fun, huh?
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[Chuckling] Hey!
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[Groans]
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Is Brad a fun dog?
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Jimmy, go get that for me, will ya?
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Got it.
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You do realize you're just
playing fetch with Jimmy?
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[Chuckling] No, I'm not.
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00:06:39,012 --> 00:06:41,011
Come on. He's gonna be fine.
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00:06:41,012 --> 00:06:42,111
You're gonna get it
this time, right, buddy?
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Ready? Go get it!
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00:06:44,152 --> 00:06:46,052
[Groans]
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00:06:47,112 --> 00:06:49,022
[Sighs] I'll go talk to Brad.
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00:06:50,938 --> 00:06:52,131
Do you see what's happening here?
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Dad got the dog because he's desperate
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to spend more time with us.
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00:06:55,072 --> 00:06:56,121
Oh, wow.
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00:06:56,122 --> 00:06:58,141
That's a bummer.
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00:06:58,142 --> 00:07:00,101
Maybe he's doing it 'cause he's lonely
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and he lives in the basement.
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I will slap you.
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00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:04,121
Don't you dare let your stupid compassion
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screw this up for us, Jimmy.
208
00:07:06,032 --> 00:07:07,131
The only upside of divorce
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00:07:07,132 --> 00:07:09,051
is that parents try to win you over.
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00:07:09,052 --> 00:07:11,091
What's something you've
always wanted from Dad?
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00:07:11,092 --> 00:07:12,961
A cross-country trip in an R.V.
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00:07:12,962 --> 00:07:14,071
Where we share our hopes and dreams
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00:07:14,072 --> 00:07:15,111
and sing cowboy songs.
214
00:07:15,112 --> 00:07:17,061
Get your head in the
game, man. Think bigger.
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00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:19,141
Like, I always wanted to use
the computer in Dad's cop car
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00:07:19,142 --> 00:07:21,091
so I could look up the
records of my teachers
217
00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,091
and blackmail them.
218
00:07:22,092 --> 00:07:23,111
[Chuckles]
219
00:07:23,112 --> 00:07:25,031
I've always wanted to drive his cop car,
220
00:07:25,032 --> 00:07:26,101
make the sirens go "whoo-whoo."
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00:07:26,102 --> 00:07:28,001
Good boy.
222
00:07:28,002 --> 00:07:30,041
Yes!
223
00:07:30,042 --> 00:07:33,921
Great job, Yonathan.
224
00:07:33,922 --> 00:07:35,081
[Both chuckle]
225
00:07:35,082 --> 00:07:37,111
Mom, if it's cool, I'm gonna
go facetime my girlfriend now.
226
00:07:37,112 --> 00:07:39,961
Just remember to close your
door so you have some privacy.
227
00:07:39,962 --> 00:07:41,951
[Sighs] God.
228
00:07:41,952 --> 00:07:44,021
That is just so different from my mom.
229
00:07:44,022 --> 00:07:46,931
I mean, she thinks
God is always watching,
230
00:07:46,932 --> 00:07:48,141
so it's okay if she does, too.
231
00:07:48,142 --> 00:07:50,041
What about you, Kenny?
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00:07:50,042 --> 00:07:52,141
Smart, cute boy like you
must be dating someone.
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00:07:52,142 --> 00:07:54,121
Me? Oh, God. No.
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00:07:54,122 --> 00:07:55,921
No, no-no-no-no.
235
00:07:55,922 --> 00:07:57,942
Really? No cute boys at your school?
236
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,941
Is it that obvious?
237
00:08:00,942 --> 00:08:02,051
I think that coming out
238
00:08:02,052 --> 00:08:04,951
is one of the bravest
things a person can do.
239
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:06,021
That and composting.
240
00:08:06,022 --> 00:08:07,061
[Laughs]
241
00:08:07,062 --> 00:08:08,562
Okay, you were serious again.
242
00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:10,031
How'd you like to stay for dinner?
243
00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:13,051
I made a risotto with
fava beans and pea shoots
244
00:08:13,052 --> 00:08:15,011
and an heirloom tomato confit.
245
00:08:15,012 --> 00:08:16,695
Wow, I don't know what any of that means,
246
00:08:16,813 --> 00:08:18,111
but it sounds delicious. [Chuckles]
247
00:08:18,112 --> 00:08:20,931
But, uh, but I can't. My
mom is expecting me home.
248
00:08:20,932 --> 00:08:22,101
[Cellphone rings]
249
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,011
God, it's like she can hear us
250
00:08:24,012 --> 00:08:26,141
talking about new food
she doesn't understand.
251
00:08:26,142 --> 00:08:27,991
[Cellphone beeps]
252
00:08:27,992 --> 00:08:29,061
Hello?
253
00:08:29,062 --> 00:08:30,961
Are you on your way?
I'm making your favorite.
254
00:08:30,962 --> 00:08:31,961
[Clunking]
255
00:08:31,962 --> 00:08:33,061
Costco meatballs.
256
00:08:33,062 --> 00:08:34,131
[Clunking]
257
00:08:34,132 --> 00:08:36,031
Yeah. No, no, no, I can hear.
258
00:08:36,032 --> 00:08:38,071
Um [Clears throat] they sound delicious.
259
00:08:38,072 --> 00:08:39,468
Come on home.
260
00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:43,091
We can watch "Project Runway"
and have a glass of milk.
261
00:08:43,092 --> 00:08:44,922
[Clatter]
262
00:08:52,922 --> 00:08:53,991
You know what, Mom?
263
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,941
I think I'm gonna be here for a while.
264
00:08:55,942 --> 00:08:56,971
Oh. Okay.
265
00:08:56,972 --> 00:08:58,052
I'll save you a meatball.
266
00:08:59,112 --> 00:09:01,051
[Cellphone beeps]
267
00:09:01,052 --> 00:09:03,111
Maybe it was because
Sandra was new and exciting,
268
00:09:03,112 --> 00:09:05,021
or maybe I was sick and tired
269
00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:07,991
of the same old milk and meatballs.
270
00:09:07,992 --> 00:09:11,942
All I know is that I
just cheated on my mom.
271
00:09:16,628 --> 00:09:17,727
- You're late.
- Daah!
272
00:09:17,728 --> 00:09:19,527
You scared me.
273
00:09:19,528 --> 00:09:20,747
I thought you'd be asleep.
274
00:09:20,748 --> 00:09:22,617
I couldn't sleep.
275
00:09:22,618 --> 00:09:23,757
Also, it's 8:30.
276
00:09:23,758 --> 00:09:26,557
I thought we were going to eat dinner
277
00:09:26,558 --> 00:09:27,697
and watch "Project Runway."
278
00:09:27,698 --> 00:09:28,677
I know. Me too.
279
00:09:28,678 --> 00:09:29,747
But I-I couldn't leave
280
00:09:29,748 --> 00:09:32,597
while Yonathan was
struggling with fractions.
281
00:09:32,598 --> 00:09:34,597
I mean, you were
right... that kid is dumb.
282
00:09:34,598 --> 00:09:35,947
What's that on your collar?
283
00:09:37,718 --> 00:09:39,537
Tomato?
284
00:09:39,548 --> 00:09:40,677
[High-pitched] Lipstick! I'm gay!
285
00:09:40,678 --> 00:09:42,618
I'm not an idiot, Kenny.
286
00:09:44,598 --> 00:09:46,687
Did Sandra make you dinner?
287
00:09:46,688 --> 00:09:48,538
[Brad panting]
288
00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:50,618
[Brad growls]
289
00:09:53,628 --> 00:09:55,607
N-no.
290
00:09:55,608 --> 00:09:57,547
No. Not at all. Wasn't dinner.
291
00:09:57,548 --> 00:09:59,697
It was just a very light snack.
292
00:09:59,698 --> 00:10:02,597
And it didn't mean anything.
293
00:10:02,598 --> 00:10:05,557
Wow! These meatballs look delicious.
294
00:10:05,558 --> 00:10:07,607
You know what I like.
295
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,577
[Chuckles]
296
00:10:09,578 --> 00:10:10,537
Mmm!
297
00:10:10,538 --> 00:10:12,727
You know what... I'm gonna...
298
00:10:12,728 --> 00:10:14,538
I'm just gonna top this off.
299
00:10:15,758 --> 00:10:17,608
[Cellphone vibrates]
300
00:10:29,628 --> 00:10:32,667
We've got a problem here, Brad.
301
00:10:32,668 --> 00:10:34,697
Pat: Okay, so, if your
turn signal is out,
302
00:10:34,698 --> 00:10:37,617
there is a variety of hand
signals that you can use.
303
00:10:37,618 --> 00:10:39,547
Pointing to the left
means you're turning...
304
00:10:39,548 --> 00:10:40,647
Left.
305
00:10:40,648 --> 00:10:42,667
Pointing up means you're turning...
306
00:10:42,668 --> 00:10:43,727
Right.
307
00:10:43,728 --> 00:10:45,717
What is the hand signal
for falling asleep?
308
00:10:45,718 --> 00:10:47,647
I don't think...
309
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:49,667
hey, this was your idea, not mine, okay?
310
00:10:49,668 --> 00:10:52,677
Yeah, but when we said we
wanted to ride in the cop car,
311
00:10:52,678 --> 00:10:54,737
we didn't want a driving lesson.
312
00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:57,557
We wanted to see you be awesome.
313
00:10:57,558 --> 00:10:59,627
What do you want us to tell our kids?
314
00:10:59,628 --> 00:11:01,627
"Papa taught us how to parallel-park"
315
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,538
or "papa taught us how to live"?
316
00:11:06,698 --> 00:11:08,657
You want to live?
317
00:11:08,658 --> 00:11:10,497
- [Engine starts]
- Fine. Let's live.
318
00:11:10,498 --> 00:11:11,627
That's what I'm talking abo...
319
00:11:11,628 --> 00:11:12,687
- [Tires squeal]
- Aah!
320
00:11:12,688 --> 00:11:14,707
Aaaaaaaah!
321
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:16,527
[Doorbell rings]
322
00:11:16,528 --> 00:11:18,607
Hi, Eileen. I'm Sandra.
323
00:11:18,608 --> 00:11:19,687
I know who you are.
324
00:11:19,688 --> 00:11:21,537
And it's "Mrs. O'Neal."
325
00:11:21,538 --> 00:11:22,597
Hi, Sandra.
326
00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:23,587
Hi, sweetheart.
327
00:11:23,588 --> 00:11:24,677
Please come in. [Chuckles nervously]
328
00:11:24,678 --> 00:11:26,401
- Can she come in?
- Mm-hmm.
329
00:11:28,558 --> 00:11:29,687
So, what brings you here?
330
00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:31,677
Well, Kenny left his socks
at my house last night,
331
00:11:31,678 --> 00:11:33,587
so I figured I'd return them,
332
00:11:33,588 --> 00:11:36,687
and I got inspired to get some
that were a little bit more fun
333
00:11:36,688 --> 00:11:39,527
to thank him for helping with my Yonny.
334
00:11:39,528 --> 00:11:40,527
[Gasps]
335
00:11:40,528 --> 00:11:41,647
Wow! Sandra!
336
00:11:41,648 --> 00:11:42,647
Toe socks!
337
00:11:42,648 --> 00:11:44,577
It's like each toe has a little hat.
338
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:45,547
I know!
339
00:11:45,548 --> 00:11:46,677
[Chuckles] Thank you!
340
00:11:46,678 --> 00:11:47,678
Oh, sure.
341
00:11:50,648 --> 00:11:51,698
[Chuckling nervously]
342
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:59,577
So, Kenny's been telling me
about some of the difficulties
343
00:11:59,578 --> 00:12:01,597
your son has had with his brain.
344
00:12:01,598 --> 00:12:03,393
And Kenny's expressed to me a little bit
345
00:12:03,394 --> 00:12:04,717
about the difficulties
the two of you have had
346
00:12:04,718 --> 00:12:05,747
since he came out.
347
00:12:05,748 --> 00:12:07,737
Oh! You've talked to
her about our family?
348
00:12:07,738 --> 00:12:10,667
We were in a real
sharing space last night
349
00:12:10,668 --> 00:12:12,618
while we were watching "Project Runway."
350
00:12:13,618 --> 00:12:15,727
And you two watched
"Project Runway" together.
351
00:12:15,728 --> 00:12:17,637
No.
352
00:12:17,638 --> 00:12:20,687
It was just on in the background
as we ate risott... Ohhhh.
353
00:12:20,688 --> 00:12:22,747
You ate her rice?
354
00:12:22,748 --> 00:12:24,637
Actually, quick side note...
355
00:12:24,638 --> 00:12:27,587
Risotto is made with rice
from the Arborio region,
356
00:12:27,588 --> 00:12:28,757
and it has so much starch in it
357
00:12:28,758 --> 00:12:30,747
that it's almost more like a pasta.
358
00:12:30,748 --> 00:12:33,667
Shut up, Sandra! Shut the [Bleep] up!
359
00:12:33,668 --> 00:12:35,587
You know, something
that was helpful for me
360
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,677
when my family was having
problems was my church.
361
00:12:37,678 --> 00:12:40,747
First Unitarian. It's very open-minded.
362
00:12:40,748 --> 00:12:42,637
There's a joy mass tonight,
363
00:12:42,638 --> 00:12:44,657
with lots of people singing and dancing.
364
00:12:44,658 --> 00:12:45,627
Mm.
365
00:12:45,628 --> 00:12:47,587
Well, I sat through "Godspell" once.
366
00:12:47,588 --> 00:12:48,667
I don't think I'm gonna do it again.
367
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:49,668
[Laughs]
368
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,657
I think we'll just
stick with our religion
369
00:12:51,658 --> 00:12:53,557
that wasn't founded last Thursday.
370
00:12:53,558 --> 00:12:55,527
Well... Think about it.
371
00:12:55,528 --> 00:12:57,657
It's open 24 hours so
that homeless people
372
00:12:57,658 --> 00:12:59,747
and sex workers have a place to sleep.
373
00:12:59,748 --> 00:13:00,747
[Door thuds]
374
00:13:00,748 --> 00:13:02,078
Wow.
375
00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:04,637
She looks so much older in person.
376
00:13:04,638 --> 00:13:06,647
Wait, what? How would you
know what she looks like?
377
00:13:06,648 --> 00:13:08,727
I saw a picture of her
with her dirty vegetables
378
00:13:08,728 --> 00:13:10,597
on your phone.
379
00:13:10,598 --> 00:13:12,727
You went through my phone?
380
00:13:12,728 --> 00:13:14,667
That is unbelievable!
381
00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:17,627
Well... Technically, that is my phone.
382
00:13:17,628 --> 00:13:19,717
Just like your belly
is technically my belly,
383
00:13:19,718 --> 00:13:22,537
even if some other
mother wants to fill it
384
00:13:22,538 --> 00:13:24,737
full of her extra-starchy rice!
385
00:13:24,738 --> 00:13:27,677
- Whoo!
- Yeah! [Laughs]
386
00:13:27,678 --> 00:13:29,577
Yeah! Whoo!
387
00:13:29,578 --> 00:13:30,677
[Tires screech]
388
00:13:30,678 --> 00:13:31,657
Yeah!
389
00:13:31,658 --> 00:13:32,627
Whoo!
390
00:13:32,628 --> 00:13:33,587
Yeah, Dad!
391
00:13:33,588 --> 00:13:34,717
- Whoo!
- [Sighs]
392
00:13:34,718 --> 00:13:36,677
Come on, waste of
all my precious time
393
00:13:36,678 --> 00:13:39,607
Your sweet smile's always on my mind
394
00:13:39,608 --> 00:13:41,557
Mrs. O'Malley has two D.U.I.S?
395
00:13:41,558 --> 00:13:43,617
[Chuckles] Hello, "A" in history.
396
00:13:43,618 --> 00:13:45,567
Come on, waste of
all my precious time
397
00:13:45,568 --> 00:13:47,597
Your sweet smile's always on my mind
398
00:13:47,598 --> 00:13:49,607
Won't you be my sunshine?
399
00:13:49,608 --> 00:13:50,717
Aaaaaah!
400
00:13:50,718 --> 00:13:53,607
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay!
401
00:13:53,608 --> 00:13:55,567
Won't you be my sunshine?
402
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,991
Yeah! Tokyo drift, bitch!
403
00:13:58,114 --> 00:13:59,707
That's why you hang with Dad, huh?
404
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:00,747
Best day ever!
405
00:14:00,748 --> 00:14:02,567
All right, let's wrap it up,
406
00:14:02,568 --> 00:14:04,587
take this party back to my basement.
407
00:14:04,588 --> 00:14:06,557
Wait. Just one more thing.
408
00:14:06,558 --> 00:14:07,667
Backwards high-speed chase.
409
00:14:07,668 --> 00:14:08,607
[Groans]
410
00:14:08,608 --> 00:14:11,597
[Tires screech]
411
00:14:11,598 --> 00:14:13,398
Jimmy, no, no, no! You're
heading towards a...
412
00:14:14,658 --> 00:14:16,588
[Air hisses]
413
00:14:19,548 --> 00:14:22,578
The grandkids are gonna
love this story, papa.
414
00:14:25,618 --> 00:14:28,537
Now, when they get to
the final runway show,
415
00:14:28,538 --> 00:14:29,637
we have to rank them
416
00:14:29,638 --> 00:14:31,697
and see if our choices
match up with the judges'.
417
00:14:31,698 --> 00:14:34,537
But they're all so talented.
Everyone should get an "A."
418
00:14:34,538 --> 00:14:35,747
Like I said, we have to wait.
419
00:14:35,748 --> 00:14:37,618
Everyone's a winner!
420
00:14:38,668 --> 00:14:40,598
Oh, yeah... more popcorn.
421
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:42,648
[Bowl thuds]
422
00:14:43,668 --> 00:14:45,657
I decided to give you another chance
423
00:14:45,658 --> 00:14:48,567
to come down and watch
"Project Runway" with me.
424
00:14:48,568 --> 00:14:49,747
Jodi keeps calling it "runaways."
425
00:14:49,748 --> 00:14:51,667
It's driving me crazy.
426
00:14:51,668 --> 00:14:52,687
Where are you going?
427
00:14:52,688 --> 00:14:53,757
Sandra's church.
428
00:14:53,758 --> 00:14:55,637
You absolutely are not!
429
00:14:55,638 --> 00:14:57,717
Afterward, Sandra and I
might watch another "runway."
430
00:14:57,718 --> 00:14:59,577
Maybe even "runway all stars."
431
00:14:59,578 --> 00:15:01,667
- You don't mean that.
- Oh, I absolutely do!
432
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:04,537
I can see how a mom like
Sandra could lure you in,
433
00:15:04,538 --> 00:15:05,677
with her rainbow toe socks
434
00:15:05,678 --> 00:15:07,727
and that smile she throws
around like a weapon.
435
00:15:07,728 --> 00:15:09,547
That is not what it is.
436
00:15:09,548 --> 00:15:11,747
She accepts me. She accepts mesh.
437
00:15:11,748 --> 00:15:13,567
She accepts all of it.
438
00:15:13,568 --> 00:15:14,647
I do better than accept you.
439
00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:16,587
I protect you from
going out into the world
440
00:15:16,588 --> 00:15:17,657
and being judged by people
441
00:15:17,658 --> 00:15:19,627
based on some ridiculous
thing you're wearing.
442
00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:20,737
I don't have to go out into the world.
443
00:15:20,738 --> 00:15:22,698
I'm getting plenty of
judgment right here at home.
444
00:15:26,618 --> 00:15:28,577
As Heidi Klum would say, bon voyage.
445
00:15:28,578 --> 00:15:29,803
[Chuckles]
446
00:15:30,650 --> 00:15:32,719
Brad, please get off the couch.
447
00:15:34,614 --> 00:15:35,606
Brad.
448
00:15:35,607 --> 00:15:38,066
[Groans]
449
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,037
Thank you.
450
00:15:43,947 --> 00:15:45,066
Are divorced people
451
00:15:45,067 --> 00:15:47,036
allowed to give each
other parenting advice?
452
00:15:47,037 --> 00:15:49,046
[Sighs] I just let my
kids trash a cop car,
453
00:15:49,047 --> 00:15:51,136
and then to punish them,
I took them out for froyo.
454
00:15:51,137 --> 00:15:53,076
Well, that's nothing.
455
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:55,986
Kenny went to church with another mom.
456
00:15:55,987 --> 00:15:56,996
Catholic?
457
00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:59,046
Unitarian.
458
00:15:59,047 --> 00:16:00,966
Whoa.
459
00:16:00,967 --> 00:16:03,076
He says it's because I don't accept him.
460
00:16:03,077 --> 00:16:04,046
[Chuckling] You don't.
461
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,156
Wha...
462
00:16:05,157 --> 00:16:07,077
I accept most of him.
463
00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:11,996
Well, kids always come
back to their moms.
464
00:16:11,997 --> 00:16:13,136
It's the dads that have to worry.
465
00:16:13,137 --> 00:16:15,046
I mean, I live 10 stairs away from them,
466
00:16:15,047 --> 00:16:16,156
and they barely come to visit.
467
00:16:16,157 --> 00:16:18,026
What's gonna happen when I move out?
468
00:16:18,027 --> 00:16:19,086
That depends.
469
00:16:19,087 --> 00:16:21,046
Is your new house gonna
smell like dog poo?
470
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:22,066
[Sighs]
471
00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:24,126
I keep looking for it,
but I cannot find it.
472
00:16:24,127 --> 00:16:26,631
Well, just get the kids down
here and have them look for it.
473
00:16:26,795 --> 00:16:28,106
They're not gonna want to do that.
474
00:16:28,107 --> 00:16:29,707
Just tell them what you want them to do,
475
00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:31,252
and eventually, they'll get on board.
476
00:16:31,370 --> 00:16:33,036
You need to take a firmer hand.
477
00:16:33,037 --> 00:16:34,156
Well, maybe I am too soft on them,
478
00:16:34,157 --> 00:16:35,966
but when it comes to Kenny,
479
00:16:35,967 --> 00:16:37,673
I think you're a little bit too hard.
480
00:16:42,987 --> 00:16:44,106
It's in your shoe.
481
00:16:44,107 --> 00:16:45,106
[Grunts]
482
00:16:45,107 --> 00:16:47,036
[Panting]
483
00:16:47,037 --> 00:16:49,987
[Indistinct conversations, music plays]
484
00:16:52,097 --> 00:16:54,986
Well, this is... new.
485
00:16:54,987 --> 00:16:57,966
Yeah, super-new and super-casual.
486
00:16:57,967 --> 00:17:00,036
Got jeans under my robe.
487
00:17:00,037 --> 00:17:02,166
Wow, Jesus. Boyfriend jeans.
488
00:17:02,167 --> 00:17:04,116
Yeah. Borrowed them from St. Peter.
489
00:17:04,117 --> 00:17:05,117
[Chuckles]
490
00:17:05,312 --> 00:17:07,996
So, uh, you feeling
guilty about something?
491
00:17:07,997 --> 00:17:09,976
No, I'm not guilty.
492
00:17:09,977 --> 00:17:12,046
If Mom can't accept me for who I am,
493
00:17:12,047 --> 00:17:14,027
then I'm just gonna
be with people who can.
494
00:17:15,097 --> 00:17:16,947
Can't argue with that.
495
00:17:18,117 --> 00:17:20,106
Kenny. You made it.
496
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:22,066
[Chuckles]
497
00:17:22,067 --> 00:17:23,067
Come in.
498
00:17:26,107 --> 00:17:29,146
Uh, is this a "bring your own
tambourine" situation, or...
499
00:17:29,147 --> 00:17:31,116
- Oh, no. They're provided.
- Oh.
500
00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:33,146
Hi. Joy to you.
501
00:17:33,147 --> 00:17:35,126
I'd like to introduce you to Kenny.
502
00:17:35,127 --> 00:17:36,106
He's our newest member.
503
00:17:36,107 --> 00:17:37,126
Hi. Hello. Okay.
504
00:17:37,127 --> 00:17:40,026
Uh, joy to everyone.
505
00:17:40,027 --> 00:17:41,976
Joy to you.
506
00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:43,026
O... Kay.
507
00:17:43,027 --> 00:17:44,106
Welcome. Welcome.
508
00:17:44,107 --> 00:17:45,116
[Chuckles]
509
00:17:45,117 --> 00:17:47,166
Oh. Okay.
510
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,126
Ohh! So many hugs.
511
00:17:49,127 --> 00:17:50,987
[Chuckles]
512
00:17:51,997 --> 00:17:53,056
Mom.
513
00:17:53,057 --> 00:17:55,096
Eileen. Hi.
514
00:17:55,097 --> 00:17:56,106
Joy to you.
515
00:17:56,107 --> 00:17:57,066
Uh-huh.
516
00:17:57,067 --> 00:17:58,986
Hello, Kenny.
517
00:17:58,987 --> 00:18:01,116
Um, Mom, uh, what are you doing here?
518
00:18:01,117 --> 00:18:02,259
Well... [Sighs]
519
00:18:02,395 --> 00:18:06,026
Another woman isn't gonna
bring my son to church.
520
00:18:06,027 --> 00:18:07,156
If this is where you want to be...
521
00:18:07,157 --> 00:18:09,146
[Chuckles]
522
00:18:09,147 --> 00:18:10,987
I want to be here for you.
523
00:18:14,037 --> 00:18:16,067
Ohhhh... Boy.
524
00:18:17,937 --> 00:18:19,087
[Inhales sharply] Okay.
525
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:22,167
Hi!
526
00:18:22,168 --> 00:18:24,027
[Bell ringing]
527
00:18:26,117 --> 00:18:30,116
Sisters and brothers, let
us bow our heads and pray.
528
00:18:30,117 --> 00:18:31,937
That, I can do.
529
00:18:33,077 --> 00:18:35,056
To whom it may concern...
530
00:18:35,057 --> 00:18:37,100
No. I'm out. I'm sorry.
531
00:18:37,265 --> 00:18:38,777
Kenny, this is not a church.
532
00:18:38,882 --> 00:18:41,026
This is a bus station in Weirdoville.
533
00:18:41,027 --> 00:18:42,027
I can't do this.
534
00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:45,956
All these jeans. What is this, a mall?
535
00:18:45,957 --> 00:18:48,136
Is that guy hacky-sacking?
536
00:18:48,137 --> 00:18:50,106
But ultimately, we must figure out...
537
00:18:50,107 --> 00:18:52,156
Hey!
538
00:18:52,157 --> 00:18:54,167
I can't believe she left.
539
00:18:56,967 --> 00:18:58,977
I can't believe she came.
540
00:19:00,937 --> 00:19:04,026
Okay, Dad, where are
you taking us? Bowling?
541
00:19:04,027 --> 00:19:05,429
Ooh! Ooh! The Bahamas?
542
00:19:05,556 --> 00:19:08,694
Nope. We're gonna stay right
here and play with your dog.
543
00:19:08,695 --> 00:19:10,046
But... We don't want to do that.
544
00:19:10,047 --> 00:19:11,046
I don't care.
545
00:19:11,047 --> 00:19:13,016
Now, teach Brad how to fetch.
546
00:19:13,017 --> 00:19:14,016
I know you can do it.
547
00:19:14,017 --> 00:19:15,936
Dad, it doesn't fetch. Okay?
548
00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:17,146
It doesn't do anything.
549
00:19:17,147 --> 00:19:18,997
This plan is a huge bomb.
550
00:19:21,037 --> 00:19:23,076
Whoa! Look at him go!
551
00:19:23,077 --> 00:19:24,106
A bomb!
552
00:19:24,107 --> 00:19:26,096
He was on the bomb squad.
553
00:19:26,097 --> 00:19:28,016
Oh, my God. Look how happy he is!
554
00:19:28,017 --> 00:19:29,126
Come here!
555
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:31,136
Who got the bomb, huh?
Yeah, you got the bomb!
556
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:32,669
Jimmy, let's see what else he can do.
557
00:19:32,670 --> 00:19:34,056
Pretend you're attacking me.
558
00:19:34,057 --> 00:19:36,116
No, no! Don't do that. He
will literally kill you.
559
00:19:36,117 --> 00:19:37,966
He is trained to find drugs, though.
560
00:19:37,967 --> 00:19:39,156
Find the drugs.
561
00:19:39,157 --> 00:19:41,106
Who's got the dope? Who's got the dope?
562
00:19:41,107 --> 00:19:42,152
[Barking]
563
00:19:42,153 --> 00:19:44,076
He's making a beeline for next door.
564
00:19:44,077 --> 00:19:45,136
Oh, my...
565
00:19:45,137 --> 00:19:46,712
Mrs. Novich has glaucoma!
566
00:19:46,713 --> 00:19:48,967
- [Glass shatters]
- Brad!
567
00:19:53,107 --> 00:19:57,066
I can't tell... is that
a dress or an oil spill?
568
00:19:57,067 --> 00:20:00,086
It's definitely a natural disaster.
569
00:20:00,087 --> 00:20:01,586
So, how was the rest of church?
570
00:20:01,587 --> 00:20:04,096
I don't know. I, uh, left a
little after you, actually.
571
00:20:04,097 --> 00:20:05,156
You did? Why?
572
00:20:05,157 --> 00:20:06,575
Was it the tambourines
573
00:20:06,576 --> 00:20:08,136
or the white people with dreadlocks?
574
00:20:08,137 --> 00:20:11,146
It was...
575
00:20:11,147 --> 00:20:13,046
Neither of those things.
576
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:14,086
[Sighs]
577
00:20:14,567 --> 00:20:17,096
It just didn't feel right.
578
00:20:17,097 --> 00:20:18,936
You know? It wasn't mine.
579
00:20:20,578 --> 00:20:23,036
Maybe my mom doesn't fully accept me now,
580
00:20:23,037 --> 00:20:25,126
but at least she's proved
581
00:20:25,127 --> 00:20:28,017
she's willing to start taking baby steps.
582
00:20:29,704 --> 00:20:31,116
Maybe you do look good in mesh.
583
00:20:31,117 --> 00:20:33,066
Oh, God. No, Mom. Mesh is not my thing.
584
00:20:33,067 --> 00:20:34,086
You were very right.
585
00:20:34,087 --> 00:20:36,066
Oh, thank God. Because I didn't mean it.
586
00:20:36,067 --> 00:20:38,066
I also cleaned out
everything in your closet
587
00:20:38,067 --> 00:20:39,957
that wasn't Navy or tan.
588
00:20:40,957 --> 00:20:43,093
I'm sorry, but this is a process.
589
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:51,309
Okay, thank you for letting
me take another crack at this.
590
00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:53,992
Now, this is just the
one that shows my arms.
591
00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:58,141
See? It's just a whisper of mesh.
592
00:20:58,142 --> 00:21:00,131
What do you think?
593
00:21:00,132 --> 00:21:02,971
Honestly...
594
00:21:02,972 --> 00:21:04,991
It looks like your arms are two pale eels
595
00:21:04,992 --> 00:21:07,011
trying to escape a fisherman's net.
596
00:21:07,012 --> 00:21:09,041
Tim Gunn, what do you think?
597
00:21:09,042 --> 00:21:10,981
Well, it definitely makes a statement.
598
00:21:10,982 --> 00:21:15,142
And the statement is, "my
gym membership has lapsed."
599
00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:20,731
Okay.
600
00:21:20,732 --> 00:21:26,702
Synced and corrected by VitoSilans
- www.Addic7ed.com -
601
00:21:26,752 --> 00:21:31,302
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