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1
00:00:00,299 --> 00:00:03,579
Look at me, right?
And look at the Queen.
2
00:00:04,092 --> 00:00:06,972
I was never a fan
until it occurred to me how much
3
00:00:07,046 --> 00:00:08,724
me and Ma'am have in common -
4
00:00:08,726 --> 00:00:11,084
bringing up kiddies you can't
remember the names of.
5
00:00:11,086 --> 00:00:13,284
I know she's not a single parent,
6
00:00:13,286 --> 00:00:15,124
but she might as well be. Plus,
7
00:00:15,126 --> 00:00:17,524
the pair of us,
we've stuck to our guns,
8
00:00:17,526 --> 00:00:19,044
her literally sometimes,
9
00:00:19,046 --> 00:00:21,284
and flagshipped a dying breed.
10
00:00:21,286 --> 00:00:23,764
Admired and despised equally.
11
00:00:23,766 --> 00:00:25,804
Not for never lifting a finger, no,
12
00:00:25,806 --> 00:00:28,964
for setting examples
through extremity.
13
00:00:28,966 --> 00:00:31,364
And whether you're a bigwig
on her end or a bigwig on mine,
14
00:00:31,366 --> 00:00:34,044
you've still got all your dickheads
in the middle to deal with,
15
00:00:34,046 --> 00:00:35,804
snip, snip, snipping
at your benefits.
16
00:00:35,806 --> 00:00:38,724
I mean, she can't not be looking
at me and thinking,
17
00:00:38,726 --> 00:00:40,764
"What's your secret, Frank?"
18
00:00:40,766 --> 00:00:43,644
I got shot of my kids yonks back,
19
00:00:43,646 --> 00:00:46,084
whereas she's yet to see
the back of a single one.
20
00:00:46,086 --> 00:00:49,004
Fine! I've had to get out of bed
on occasion to make ends meet,
21
00:00:49,006 --> 00:00:53,006
whereas she... she's done
the whole thing from a chair.
22
00:00:53,886 --> 00:00:55,724
Oh, and a drink for the lady.
23
00:00:55,726 --> 00:00:57,604
Oh, sure, there's perks.
24
00:00:57,606 --> 00:00:58,764
But, look at her lot.
25
00:00:58,766 --> 00:01:01,204
Brian May prancing
about on her roof.
26
00:01:01,206 --> 00:01:07,629
Now, look at my lot... we know how
to throw a proper fucking paaaarty!
27
00:01:07,631 --> 00:01:13,078
28
00:01:15,239 --> 00:01:18,957
It's not that hard being
a parent in the modern world.
29
00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:21,277
It's not like the caveman times.
30
00:01:21,279 --> 00:01:24,759
Back then you'd be protecting
your kids from rampaging tribesmen
31
00:01:24,842 --> 00:01:27,840
and sabre-toothed tigers.
32
00:01:27,842 --> 00:01:31,240
Or the medieval ages, where if
infant mortality didn't snatch the
33
00:01:31,242 --> 00:01:35,242
little buggers off, then the black
death were hammering on the door.
34
00:01:36,362 --> 00:01:38,520
Nah, now it's easier.
35
00:01:38,522 --> 00:01:41,120
Sure you have to make
a few sacrifices,
36
00:01:41,122 --> 00:01:42,722
but it's nothing like the past.
37
00:01:42,790 --> 00:01:46,148
As long as you have a bit of spare
cash to buy them clothes and shit,
38
00:01:46,150 --> 00:01:50,150
make sure there's
food on the table...
39
00:01:50,790 --> 00:01:54,790
..and be there for them
when they need it, you're sorted.
40
00:01:55,670 --> 00:01:59,670
Basically, don't be a knobhead
and yer'll be fine.
41
00:02:16,510 --> 00:02:20,510
It's not some big mystery, is it?
42
00:02:20,790 --> 00:02:24,790
So how come so many
of the twats fuck it up, eh?
43
00:02:37,030 --> 00:02:38,788
Oi! Hands off.
44
00:02:38,790 --> 00:02:40,508
Just looking.
45
00:02:40,510 --> 00:02:41,668
Just touching!
46
00:02:41,670 --> 00:02:43,268
You running away from home?
47
00:02:43,270 --> 00:02:45,588
Overnight excursions
with the Scouts.
48
00:02:45,590 --> 00:02:47,348
Pitch a tent,
49
00:02:47,350 --> 00:02:51,350
build a fire,
underneath that old wandering star.
50
00:02:51,790 --> 00:02:52,828
Can I come?
51
00:02:52,830 --> 00:02:53,948
You're not a Scout.
52
00:02:53,950 --> 00:02:55,988
I could be one.
Never been in a tent.
53
00:02:55,990 --> 00:02:59,990
Or built a fire.
Or seen a wandering star.
54
00:03:42,710 --> 00:03:44,668
I've got Billy doing
the school pics for me.
55
00:03:44,670 --> 00:03:48,670
There's a class set,
individual pics and a family group.
56
00:03:49,070 --> 00:03:51,348
Doesn't matter how bleeding ugly
the kids are,
57
00:03:51,350 --> 00:03:53,108
the parents'll buy the lot.
58
00:03:53,110 --> 00:03:54,948
Pint, please, Karen.
59
00:03:54,950 --> 00:03:58,668
Eh, Gallagher, you'll need a sick
note for skipping work today.
60
00:03:58,670 --> 00:04:00,228
I was mugged.
61
00:04:00,230 --> 00:04:01,308
Who'd mug you?
62
00:04:01,310 --> 00:04:04,828
They took the lot. I didn't even have
the bus fare to get back home.
63
00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:07,908
Don't care. �2.50.
64
00:04:07,910 --> 00:04:09,868
Muggers took you for a trip
out, did they?
65
00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:11,268
From the hospital.
66
00:04:11,270 --> 00:04:13,988
Hang on. You left here
last night with fuck all.
67
00:04:13,990 --> 00:04:15,948
You still owe me for six pints
and two Es.
68
00:04:15,950 --> 00:04:19,950
So clear your tab or no more.
69
00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:24,070
Fine. Mimi, payday's not till...
y'know, any chance...?
70
00:04:24,190 --> 00:04:25,228
End of the month.
71
00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:28,988
Oh, fine! Abandoned. An outcast.
72
00:04:28,990 --> 00:04:32,628
Oh, God! Who's going to look
after you in your old age?
73
00:04:32,630 --> 00:04:34,148
I've still got my dignity.
74
00:04:34,150 --> 00:04:38,108
Whoa, pal, that's mine now.
Get off, you baghead, get off!
75
00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:42,110
Get off!
76
00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:46,790
Dignity my arse.
77
00:04:56,030 --> 00:05:00,030
Hiya!
78
00:05:00,270 --> 00:05:02,548
G'us your bag then.
Good day at the office?
79
00:05:02,550 --> 00:05:06,388
Yeah.
80
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:08,468
Why not...? It's just Scouts.
81
00:05:08,470 --> 00:05:09,788
"It's just Scouts!"
82
00:05:09,790 --> 00:05:10,828
Shut up!
83
00:05:10,830 --> 00:05:14,830
It's sinister! Making you dress all
the same, act the same way.
84
00:05:15,230 --> 00:05:18,908
Little robots with woggles.
You'll thank me one day.
85
00:05:18,910 --> 00:05:21,148
I just want you kids to be,
y'know...
86
00:05:21,150 --> 00:05:22,188
Individuals.
87
00:05:22,190 --> 00:05:23,348
To follow your own path.
88
00:05:23,350 --> 00:05:25,068
Dance to the beat of your drum.
89
00:05:25,070 --> 00:05:28,708
OK. But... I'm still right.
90
00:05:28,710 --> 00:05:30,468
But I know the path
I want to follow,
91
00:05:30,470 --> 00:05:32,788
I want to be a Scout!
92
00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:36,790
"I want to be a Scout!"
93
00:05:40,230 --> 00:05:43,308
But please, Dad!
94
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:44,468
Lip!
95
00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:45,508
Frank.
96
00:05:45,510 --> 00:05:49,148
Not your neck of the woods.
97
00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:52,548
Call it fate. Kismet.
98
00:05:52,550 --> 00:05:54,908
So you're looking good - suit, tie.
99
00:05:54,910 --> 00:05:56,348
It's called having a job, Frank.
100
00:05:56,350 --> 00:05:59,988
Architect. For the council.
101
00:05:59,990 --> 00:06:01,588
And we're in a bit of a hurry.
102
00:06:01,590 --> 00:06:03,348
Those buildings
won't build themselves.
103
00:06:03,350 --> 00:06:06,268
I've seen you before. On the bus.
104
00:06:06,270 --> 00:06:07,868
I thought you were a boy.
105
00:06:07,870 --> 00:06:09,268
Thank you.
106
00:06:09,270 --> 00:06:11,868
Eh, what'd we say
about talking to strangers?
107
00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:15,108
And there's no-one more strange
than your old grandad, eh, Katie?
108
00:06:15,110 --> 00:06:17,508
No way!
109
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:19,068
It's a miracle?!
110
00:06:19,070 --> 00:06:21,148
Well... wouldn't go that far.
111
00:06:21,150 --> 00:06:23,988
It is. We thought the Taliban'd
never let you go.
112
00:06:23,990 --> 00:06:25,748
Yes, Grandad.
113
00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:29,750
We didn't know
if you was dead or alive.
114
00:06:32,950 --> 00:06:36,908
Grandad, watch!
115
00:06:36,910 --> 00:06:39,508
Oh, yeah, brilliant, kid, brilliant!
116
00:06:39,510 --> 00:06:42,428
How much?
117
00:06:42,430 --> 00:06:44,548
For you to piss off
and leave us alone.
118
00:06:44,550 --> 00:06:47,348
That's no way to speak
to a war hero.
119
00:06:47,350 --> 00:06:49,068
Go on. Take it.
120
00:06:49,070 --> 00:06:52,508
Piss off back down the Jockey,
go and have yourself some fun.
121
00:06:52,510 --> 00:06:55,028
Don't bother coming back round
these ways ever again.
122
00:06:55,030 --> 00:06:56,948
Oh. You do live round here then?
123
00:06:56,950 --> 00:07:00,950
Just visiting. Work.
124
00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:06,228
I'm not after your money.
125
00:07:06,230 --> 00:07:09,548
What, is it so far-fetched
that I might miss my grandson...
126
00:07:09,550 --> 00:07:10,588
daughter?
127
00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:13,628
About as far-fetched as Liverpool
or Santa Claus winning
128
00:07:13,630 --> 00:07:15,228
the bloody Premier League.
129
00:07:15,230 --> 00:07:19,028
As far-fetched as me being
captured by the Taliban then?
130
00:07:19,030 --> 00:07:23,030
Course, the SAS are dying to recruit
blokes like me, y'know.
131
00:07:23,190 --> 00:07:24,828
Catering staff.
132
00:07:24,830 --> 00:07:26,988
You were Army catering staff.
133
00:07:26,990 --> 00:07:29,108
You got kidnapped by mistake.
134
00:07:29,110 --> 00:07:31,228
The Taliban were
so fucking embarrassed
135
00:07:31,230 --> 00:07:33,708
they didn't know what
to do with you.
136
00:07:33,710 --> 00:07:35,148
You see, Frank?
137
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:39,150
Even in the silliest little lie,
I told my daughter...
138
00:07:39,350 --> 00:07:43,350
you're still a loser.
139
00:07:47,830 --> 00:07:50,908
Fair enough.
140
00:07:50,910 --> 00:07:52,148
Katie!
141
00:07:52,150 --> 00:07:55,588
Your dad wants to know if you want
to come back to mine, for dinner -
142
00:07:55,590 --> 00:07:56,828
fish and chips!
143
00:07:56,830 --> 00:07:59,068
Brilliant, kid, brilliant!
144
00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:01,628
D'you hear that?! Eh?
145
00:08:01,630 --> 00:08:03,428
Out of the mouths of babes.
146
00:08:03,430 --> 00:08:06,028
You might want to stop
off at the cash machine, y'know,
147
00:08:06,030 --> 00:08:10,030
price of a fish supper
nowadays and all that...
148
00:08:12,990 --> 00:08:16,148
You all right, Frank?
149
00:08:16,150 --> 00:08:20,150
Frank?
150
00:08:40,110 --> 00:08:42,388
Don't just stand there,
place won't clean itself.
151
00:08:42,390 --> 00:08:44,148
God, I've got to do
everything myself.
152
00:08:44,150 --> 00:08:45,908
Didn't know the Social were coming.
153
00:08:45,910 --> 00:08:47,468
They're not. It's Lip.
154
00:08:47,470 --> 00:08:49,308
Lip, like my brother Lip?
155
00:08:49,310 --> 00:08:52,348
Yes. He who never visits.
Him and his kid, Katie.
156
00:08:52,350 --> 00:08:53,588
They'll be here in a minute.
157
00:08:53,590 --> 00:08:54,628
What's up?
158
00:08:54,630 --> 00:08:57,508
And if asked, I've been away,
locked up by the Taliban.
159
00:08:57,510 --> 00:08:59,148
Frank. What have you done now?
160
00:08:59,150 --> 00:09:01,548
Not me. It's Lip, it's his story.
161
00:09:01,550 --> 00:09:04,268
He's had me Terry Waite-d up
in some far-flung land.
162
00:09:04,270 --> 00:09:08,270
Why would he say that?
163
00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:12,630
I dunno. Takes all sorts, I suppose.
164
00:09:14,950 --> 00:09:18,950
Right, go to mine, get coffee,
not a jar, the good Yemeni stuff.
165
00:09:20,630 --> 00:09:24,630
It's the only thing strong enough
to cover up this stench!
166
00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:28,148
Is he nice?
167
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:31,828
He's got a heart of gold.
168
00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:35,468
I'm sure if you remind him
of all the birthdays
169
00:09:35,470 --> 00:09:38,708
and Christmases that he's missed,
y'know, he might, y'know...
170
00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:42,710
give us... give you... a little
something for your piggy bank.
171
00:09:51,310 --> 00:09:53,588
Hey, Jamie, I'm in training.
172
00:09:53,590 --> 00:09:54,948
Oh, yeah, what for?
173
00:09:54,950 --> 00:09:57,228
Camping. I got in the Scouts.
174
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:59,428
I have to carry my own tent.
175
00:09:59,430 --> 00:10:02,748
What's your first mission then?
176
00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:05,228
Climbing Everest or
surviving the Sahara?
177
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,268
Remona's taking us to a field.
178
00:10:07,270 --> 00:10:08,668
Ooh, how exciting!
179
00:10:08,670 --> 00:10:11,028
Y'know this bag's dead heavy?
180
00:10:11,030 --> 00:10:12,668
I believe you, mate.
181
00:10:12,670 --> 00:10:14,668
Uncle Jamie,
were you ever in the Scouts?
182
00:10:14,670 --> 00:10:17,868
Me and our Shane chucked fireworks
at the Scout hall once.
183
00:10:17,870 --> 00:10:19,268
About as close as I got.
184
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:21,868
I don't think they could
handle your Uncle Jamie.
185
00:10:21,870 --> 00:10:23,108
What do you mean?
186
00:10:23,110 --> 00:10:27,110
I'm more of a leader...
than a follower!
187
00:10:37,950 --> 00:10:40,428
What was it like here
when you were little?
188
00:10:40,430 --> 00:10:44,430
It was nice.
189
00:10:54,790 --> 00:10:58,508
Fucking rats!
190
00:10:58,510 --> 00:11:01,428
It's not very nice now.
191
00:11:01,430 --> 00:11:03,268
Places change, sweetheart.
192
00:11:03,270 --> 00:11:05,068
So, why does Grandad stay here?
193
00:11:05,070 --> 00:11:08,588
The country doesn't look after war
veterans as well as it should do.
194
00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:10,028
It's a shame for Grandad.
195
00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:14,030
Yeah, a real shame.
196
00:11:18,870 --> 00:11:22,870
Dad?
197
00:11:36,030 --> 00:11:38,708
Eh, come in!
198
00:11:38,710 --> 00:11:42,710
Welcome home.
199
00:11:50,190 --> 00:11:51,588
Hi, I'm Esther.
200
00:11:51,590 --> 00:11:53,468
Oh. Are you, uh..?
201
00:11:53,470 --> 00:11:56,148
God, no... Next door,
just the neighbour.
202
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,068
And besides,
I'm totally out of his league.
203
00:11:58,070 --> 00:12:02,070
This is... thingy, a stray
we've acquired along the way.
204
00:12:02,270 --> 00:12:06,270
Aiden. Pleased to meet you,
sir. Allow me.
205
00:12:08,670 --> 00:12:12,670
And Stella. Your sister.
206
00:12:18,110 --> 00:12:19,188
Hello.
207
00:12:19,190 --> 00:12:22,548
It's really nice to meet you.
Sorry it's taken so long.
208
00:12:22,550 --> 00:12:24,750
Dad said you'll give me
a little money.
209
00:12:26,910 --> 00:12:29,988
Where do they get this stuff, eh?
210
00:12:29,990 --> 00:12:33,748
Well, it must run in the family.
211
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,628
So, how does it feel to be home?
212
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:38,468
'I've asked you ten times
before, Gallagher...'
213
00:12:38,470 --> 00:12:39,708
Nana?!
214
00:12:39,710 --> 00:12:41,588
Katie. Wait, please...
215
00:12:41,590 --> 00:12:45,108
..and none
of your half-hearted forgeries!
216
00:12:45,110 --> 00:12:47,228
What are you doing here, sweetheart?
217
00:12:47,230 --> 00:12:51,230
I'm not due to see you till next
week. What's going on, Lip?
218
00:12:53,470 --> 00:12:55,628
Oh, just back for the job, is it?
219
00:12:55,630 --> 00:12:57,908
Dad...
220
00:12:57,910 --> 00:13:01,508
Please. For Katie.
221
00:13:01,510 --> 00:13:03,668
Happy families.
With her, Granny Shankly?
222
00:13:03,670 --> 00:13:04,988
She's better than me?
223
00:13:04,990 --> 00:13:06,028
Don't.
224
00:13:06,030 --> 00:13:08,348
You never told me
you lived near Grandad!
225
00:13:08,350 --> 00:13:09,988
No, I didn't, because...
226
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,268
The Taliban?
227
00:13:11,270 --> 00:13:15,270
Yeah, those fellas.
228
00:13:15,310 --> 00:13:18,108
Well, you know...
229
00:13:18,110 --> 00:13:22,110
Maybe it's time we told the truth.
230
00:13:22,670 --> 00:13:26,670
Gallaghers' name stands
for something, doesn't it? Integrity.
231
00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:30,870
Honesty.
232
00:13:31,950 --> 00:13:33,068
Look, love.
233
00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:34,748
Look.
234
00:13:34,750 --> 00:13:37,988
I was never captured by the Taliban.
235
00:13:37,990 --> 00:13:38,868
But Dad...
236
00:13:38,870 --> 00:13:40,388
No, no, it's not your dad's fault.
237
00:13:40,390 --> 00:13:44,390
Couldn't tell anyone the story.
238
00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:48,068
I was on a mission.
239
00:13:48,070 --> 00:13:52,070
To find a man, a very bad man.
240
00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:56,230
Do you know who Osama bin Laden is?
241
00:13:57,190 --> 00:14:01,190
Grandad!
242
00:14:01,310 --> 00:14:02,457
Yeah.
243
00:14:02,556 --> 00:14:04,296
Bin Laden.
244
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:05,838
Seriously?
245
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,638
You started it
with your tall tales of the Taliban.
246
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,358
How long do you think she's going
to buy into that hero bullshit?
247
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,800
Dunno. You believed in
the Tooth Fairy till you were 11.
248
00:14:13,911 --> 00:14:14,949
Fuck off.
249
00:14:14,951 --> 00:14:17,709
And you wet the bed. Or shall
I just tell her the real truth?
250
00:14:17,711 --> 00:14:19,109
Her dad's a big fat liar.
251
00:14:19,111 --> 00:14:20,149
One more word...
252
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:23,189
One more word from either of you,
and I'll be cracking skulls.
253
00:14:23,191 --> 00:14:26,669
You're not ruining this for me.
It's good you're here though-
254
00:14:26,671 --> 00:14:28,069
Yeah. Fantastic.
255
00:14:28,071 --> 00:14:29,309
Cos it's nearly done.
256
00:14:29,311 --> 00:14:32,709
I'll nip next door and get it
while she's still playing.
257
00:14:32,711 --> 00:14:35,789
Cilla, come on, babe.
258
00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:39,791
Pop home.
259
00:14:41,431 --> 00:14:44,549
What treat is Super Gran
looking to spring?
260
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:48,029
She's altering Mandy's old Communion
dress for Katie's confirmation.
261
00:14:48,031 --> 00:14:49,309
It means a lot to her.
262
00:14:49,311 --> 00:14:51,709
How does she get her trotters
to hold the little needles?
263
00:14:51,711 --> 00:14:55,149
If that's the way she chooses
to grieve, who am I to stop her?
264
00:14:55,151 --> 00:14:59,151
My invitation must have got lost,
so let me RSVP in person.
265
00:15:02,231 --> 00:15:05,629
If you're offering.
266
00:15:05,631 --> 00:15:07,051
But you can't be my auntie.
267
00:15:07,084 --> 00:15:07,922
But I am.
268
00:15:07,924 --> 00:15:09,202
But you're younger than me.
269
00:15:09,204 --> 00:15:13,002
Cilla's your auntie
as well you know. D'you live nearby?
270
00:15:13,004 --> 00:15:16,642
Took us four buses to get here.
271
00:15:16,644 --> 00:15:19,722
Hey, I know the transport system's
fucked but you're only ten minutes away.
272
00:15:19,724 --> 00:15:21,042
I took her the long way round,
273
00:15:21,044 --> 00:15:24,242
so she knows exactly how far
away Grandad lives.
274
00:15:24,244 --> 00:15:25,762
So enjoy it while it lasts.
275
00:15:25,764 --> 00:15:29,764
Because we're a long way from home.
276
00:15:46,884 --> 00:15:50,884
I don't know what this whole
bad ass routine is about, Blanco.
277
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:52,522
But it doesn't suit you.
278
00:15:52,524 --> 00:15:55,442
Maybe I don't want to be
like everyone else.
279
00:15:55,444 --> 00:15:59,444
Go and get the rest of your uniform!
280
00:16:06,844 --> 00:16:08,642
Did they torture you?
281
00:16:08,644 --> 00:16:12,362
They did unspeakable things.
282
00:16:12,364 --> 00:16:13,522
Like what?
283
00:16:13,524 --> 00:16:15,562
You're a right little tom boy,
aren't you?
284
00:16:15,564 --> 00:16:17,402
No, she's not. It's a phase.
285
00:16:17,404 --> 00:16:19,962
Maybe if her gran was allowed
to spend more time with her,
286
00:16:19,964 --> 00:16:21,962
she wouldn't feel the need
to act up so much.
287
00:16:21,964 --> 00:16:23,002
She's not acting up!
288
00:16:23,004 --> 00:16:25,282
Really? When did she last wear
a dress? Make-up?
289
00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:26,322
Not this again...
290
00:16:26,324 --> 00:16:28,602
For God's sake, she hasn't even got
her ears pierced.
291
00:16:28,604 --> 00:16:30,682
- She's nine, y'know.
- I think we best be getting back.
292
00:16:30,684 --> 00:16:33,802
Sit down, there's no rush.
I'll put the kettle on.
293
00:16:33,804 --> 00:16:35,122
Katie.
294
00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:38,364
Tell your dad how you're glad to
spend a little more time with gran.
295
00:16:39,484 --> 00:16:41,482
And your granddad.
296
00:16:41,484 --> 00:16:45,484
Please, Dad, can we? Please? Please?
297
00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:48,522
Course you can. You can visit
any time you want.
298
00:16:48,524 --> 00:16:52,524
Now that your grandad's home.
299
00:16:55,804 --> 00:16:59,482
Granny Maguire seems pretty
determined to keep you here.
300
00:16:59,484 --> 00:17:00,802
She's got an agenda, that one.
301
00:17:00,804 --> 00:17:02,002
And you don't?
302
00:17:02,004 --> 00:17:04,042
Eh, I'm on your side.
303
00:17:04,044 --> 00:17:05,602
You have never been on my side.
304
00:17:05,604 --> 00:17:07,322
Oh, y'know what,
just go and take a walk,
305
00:17:07,324 --> 00:17:09,882
cool down or you'll blow
a fucking gasket,
306
00:17:09,884 --> 00:17:12,602
and you don't want to do that in
front of your kids. Messes 'em up.
307
00:17:12,604 --> 00:17:15,922
You're giving me parenting advice?
308
00:17:15,924 --> 00:17:18,802
Katie, darling, your dad's going
to have to stretch his legs, love.
309
00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:22,122
You'll be alright here with Stella.
310
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:26,124
Pick us up forty fags
while you're out.
311
00:17:29,364 --> 00:17:30,962
No broken home to go back to?
312
00:17:30,964 --> 00:17:34,964
Fuck off, paedo.
313
00:17:36,044 --> 00:17:39,002
Bad news, my little Bandita.
314
00:17:39,004 --> 00:17:42,802
Permission for take off's
been denied.
315
00:17:42,804 --> 00:17:46,804
No, I've got the money,
it's my time that's being pillaged.
316
00:17:47,804 --> 00:17:50,762
Me son's coming round,
just invited himself without any
317
00:17:50,764 --> 00:17:52,322
thought how it might disrupt my day.
318
00:17:52,324 --> 00:17:56,324
You know how selfish kids can be.
Yeah. I'll call to reschedule.
319
00:17:58,484 --> 00:18:02,484
Will you two stop that?
Or I'll kick your fucking heads in.
320
00:18:07,364 --> 00:18:11,162
I mean it, Gallagher.
Don't you mess this up for me.
321
00:18:11,164 --> 00:18:15,164
You're the ones built your little
Sylvanian Family on sand.
322
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:17,442
Whose fault is that?
323
00:18:17,444 --> 00:18:21,444
I only get to see her every few
weeks because Lip can't stand you.
324
00:18:21,724 --> 00:18:24,642
You have poisoned
that boy's mind against me.
325
00:18:24,644 --> 00:18:26,282
We used to be like that.
326
00:18:26,284 --> 00:18:30,042
Really? So you've been sending him
cash, have you?
327
00:18:30,044 --> 00:18:32,762
To help him
take care of his little one,
328
00:18:32,764 --> 00:18:36,764
each week, into a special account?
329
00:18:36,924 --> 00:18:37,962
Thought not.
330
00:18:37,964 --> 00:18:40,602
He should be taking care of me
in my advancing years.
331
00:18:40,604 --> 00:18:44,604
He's got enough problems bringing
Katie up, you selfish fuck.
332
00:18:46,404 --> 00:18:49,042
Come on, Slater,
we're waiting on that water.
333
00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:52,642
Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop!
334
00:18:52,644 --> 00:18:56,442
Put some elbow grease in it!
335
00:18:56,444 --> 00:18:58,922
This is no holiday camp,
this is the Scouts!
336
00:18:58,924 --> 00:19:02,924
Come on, guys, seriously!
It'll be cool!
337
00:19:04,164 --> 00:19:07,402
Is it ready? We can't eat
till the billy cans are ready.
338
00:19:07,404 --> 00:19:09,162
Get them in, get them in!
339
00:19:09,164 --> 00:19:12,082
Out the way, out the way!
340
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:16,084
It's all right, don't panic.
341
00:19:16,404 --> 00:19:17,882
You, Blanco!
342
00:19:17,884 --> 00:19:19,202
You!
343
00:19:19,204 --> 00:19:23,204
Oh, shit.
344
00:19:33,684 --> 00:19:35,522
Fuck me.
345
00:19:35,524 --> 00:19:37,602
Is that still
your best chat up line?
346
00:19:37,604 --> 00:19:40,282
Fails every time.
What are you doing here?
347
00:19:40,284 --> 00:19:44,002
Right now,
avoiding my piss-soaked dad.
348
00:19:44,004 --> 00:19:45,402
The rest is a long story.
349
00:19:45,404 --> 00:19:46,202
Coming in?
350
00:19:46,204 --> 00:19:47,922
Nah, you're all right.
351
00:19:47,924 --> 00:19:49,162
Where you going then?
352
00:19:49,164 --> 00:19:50,442
Generally?
353
00:19:50,444 --> 00:19:52,162
Come on.
354
00:19:52,164 --> 00:19:56,164
I'll buy you a pint if you promise
not to share and care.
355
00:19:56,284 --> 00:19:58,002
Come on,
356
00:19:58,004 --> 00:20:00,282
warm beer, shit company,
bad entertainment...
357
00:20:00,284 --> 00:20:03,562
Don't pretend you haven't
missed it, mate.
358
00:20:03,564 --> 00:20:07,564
As long as you're paying.
359
00:20:27,564 --> 00:20:31,564
You seen Coggsy?
360
00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:36,002
I know I'm good looking,
361
00:20:36,004 --> 00:20:38,282
but you shouldn't be staring
at your punters.
362
00:20:38,284 --> 00:20:40,762
Lip Gallagher, all grown up.
363
00:20:40,764 --> 00:20:42,442
Did you start shopping at Next?
364
00:20:42,444 --> 00:20:45,842
You know me,
always was a bit of class.
365
00:20:45,844 --> 00:20:47,162
And always full of it.
366
00:20:47,164 --> 00:20:48,762
So you're doing OK I can see.
367
00:20:48,764 --> 00:20:50,442
It's the spirit of Chatsworth.
368
00:20:50,444 --> 00:20:52,762
It'd take more than a global
recession to stop this lot
369
00:20:52,764 --> 00:20:55,002
having a good time. Pint?
370
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:59,004
Yeah.
371
00:21:02,244 --> 00:21:04,362
Her husband?
372
00:21:04,364 --> 00:21:06,042
Mimi never said 'owt.
373
00:21:06,044 --> 00:21:08,282
She probably worries
you'd judge her.
374
00:21:08,284 --> 00:21:10,762
Some people do you know,
cos of the age gap.
375
00:21:10,764 --> 00:21:12,162
S'not for me to say.
376
00:21:12,164 --> 00:21:14,202
But, don't you think it's a bit...
377
00:21:14,204 --> 00:21:15,522
oedipal?
378
00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:19,524
Edible?
379
00:21:19,884 --> 00:21:21,642
Come to me.
380
00:21:21,644 --> 00:21:24,722
Easy, Lillian, people'll be...
381
00:21:24,724 --> 00:21:26,002
talking.
382
00:21:26,004 --> 00:21:28,202
Well, you always did have a way
with the ladies.
383
00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:32,204
Never lose it.
384
00:21:35,924 --> 00:21:38,962
There you go,
385
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:41,162
Isn't she a pretty little girl?
386
00:21:41,164 --> 00:21:42,602
She's fine as she was.
387
00:21:42,604 --> 00:21:43,642
Do you think so?
388
00:21:43,644 --> 00:21:47,644
Your grandad's busy watching
his show right now... Isn't he?
389
00:21:49,804 --> 00:21:53,804
Stop twitching, love.
390
00:21:56,724 --> 00:21:58,922
So you d'you reckon this'll be
a regular thing then?
391
00:21:58,924 --> 00:22:00,442
Like fuck. I left for a reason.
392
00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:02,842
Frank's not changed a bit,
he's cleaned me out twice,
393
00:22:02,844 --> 00:22:04,122
had nearly all of my wages.
394
00:22:04,124 --> 00:22:06,402
And Mimi's just trying to stick her
nails right in me.
395
00:22:06,404 --> 00:22:10,362
A simple no was all I wanted.
396
00:22:10,364 --> 00:22:12,482
This is not a good Scout.
397
00:22:12,484 --> 00:22:13,962
Hey, hands off him!
398
00:22:13,964 --> 00:22:15,242
He ruined the camp!
399
00:22:15,244 --> 00:22:17,042
I'm sure you're exaggerating.
400
00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:20,524
Look at him.
Absolutely no respect for the badge.
401
00:22:24,564 --> 00:22:27,522
What? It's only fucking Scouts.
Sit down, have a drink.
402
00:22:27,524 --> 00:22:28,962
What did you say to him?
403
00:22:28,964 --> 00:22:30,002
Nothing.
404
00:22:30,004 --> 00:22:33,482
You! Ruined the camp.
405
00:22:33,484 --> 00:22:34,602
What you having?
406
00:22:34,604 --> 00:22:35,722
Gin and tonic.
407
00:22:35,724 --> 00:22:37,242
Same. Same.
408
00:22:37,244 --> 00:22:38,442
Shut up you!
409
00:22:38,444 --> 00:22:41,402
Not as easy as we thought, eh?
Being a parent.
410
00:22:41,404 --> 00:22:43,402
Not easy having one, either?
411
00:22:43,404 --> 00:22:45,242
You still turned out OK.
412
00:22:45,244 --> 00:22:47,402
Not because of him. Despite.
413
00:22:47,404 --> 00:22:48,882
He has got a job.
414
00:22:48,884 --> 00:22:50,562
So why's he tapping me up?
415
00:22:50,564 --> 00:22:53,202
He needs it more than you.
He's a janny, for God's sake.
416
00:22:53,204 --> 00:22:57,204
You're a big shot architect.
417
00:22:58,964 --> 00:23:01,402
Surveyor's assistant.
418
00:23:01,404 --> 00:23:04,842
I barely scraped my degree, Karen.
419
00:23:04,844 --> 00:23:06,282
I rent.
420
00:23:06,284 --> 00:23:08,802
I shit myself every time a bill
comes through the door
421
00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:12,802
and my daughter dresses like a boy.
But I'm still fucking there.
422
00:23:12,804 --> 00:23:15,122
And I'm doing my best.
423
00:23:15,124 --> 00:23:16,962
Whatever that is.
424
00:23:16,964 --> 00:23:20,402
So is Frank. He didn't have to take
Aiden on. But he did.
425
00:23:20,404 --> 00:23:22,602
When did you see start seeing
a halo round his head?
426
00:23:22,604 --> 00:23:24,402
Still sulking like you
used to an' all?
427
00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:26,682
We know Frank is a selfish bastard.
428
00:23:26,684 --> 00:23:29,282
But I don't think you should let him
get to you.
429
00:23:29,284 --> 00:23:33,284
Look, you are not that kid anymore.
You're a man!
430
00:23:34,484 --> 00:23:35,882
If you fancy me just say so...
431
00:23:35,884 --> 00:23:38,322
Yeah and still a twat,
Phillip Gallagher.
432
00:23:38,324 --> 00:23:40,202
It's a cig machine.
433
00:23:40,204 --> 00:23:42,642
I'm getting off.
434
00:23:42,644 --> 00:23:44,482
Oh, c'mon, mate,
stay for a few more.
435
00:23:44,484 --> 00:23:46,482
Yeah, pool tournament
starts in an hour.
436
00:23:46,484 --> 00:23:50,282
No, I've got to get back home.
I mean to Dad's.
437
00:23:50,284 --> 00:23:53,322
It's two steps away
from paint stripper but,
438
00:23:53,324 --> 00:23:57,324
but you know what they say -
beware Greeks baring gifts.
439
00:23:57,924 --> 00:24:00,722
I'm just going to dash next door
and put this away.
440
00:24:00,724 --> 00:24:02,642
You be all right with your grandad?
441
00:24:02,644 --> 00:24:03,682
Watch her!
442
00:24:03,684 --> 00:24:07,684
Why, is she going to explode?
443
00:24:16,964 --> 00:24:18,602
I like your hair.
444
00:24:18,604 --> 00:24:22,604
Really?
445
00:24:23,084 --> 00:24:25,842
What matters is if you like it.
446
00:24:25,844 --> 00:24:28,922
Don't live your life trying
to please others.
447
00:24:28,924 --> 00:24:31,042
You'll only end up messing it up
for yourself.
448
00:24:31,044 --> 00:24:32,922
But won't that upset people?
449
00:24:32,924 --> 00:24:34,442
And?
450
00:24:34,444 --> 00:24:38,444
We're Gallaghers. We do it our way.
451
00:24:43,044 --> 00:24:44,762
I'm glad you killed Bin Laden.
452
00:24:44,764 --> 00:24:46,002
Oh yeah, me too,
453
00:24:46,004 --> 00:24:50,004
he was an awful c...
454
00:25:02,764 --> 00:25:06,764
Y'alright?
455
00:25:08,724 --> 00:25:10,242
Look at her, see.
456
00:25:10,244 --> 00:25:14,244
Four of 'em running around trying to
give her the wedding of her dreams -
457
00:25:15,124 --> 00:25:18,762
dress, car, pink meringues,
you name it.
458
00:25:18,764 --> 00:25:21,442
They're all waiting around like
twats to see if she likes it.
459
00:25:21,444 --> 00:25:22,842
And does she? Does she fuck.
460
00:25:22,844 --> 00:25:25,562
She hates it,
she hates everything about it.
461
00:25:25,564 --> 00:25:27,202
And you know what she does?
462
00:25:27,204 --> 00:25:28,842
She tells them.
463
00:25:28,844 --> 00:25:30,642
And fair play to her.
464
00:25:30,644 --> 00:25:32,762
It's the same with you
and this dress -
465
00:25:32,764 --> 00:25:34,642
it's up to you. You choose.
466
00:25:34,644 --> 00:25:36,082
Hi, Dad.
467
00:25:36,084 --> 00:25:39,642
You OK, sweetheart?
468
00:25:39,644 --> 00:25:42,162
Oh. That for me?
469
00:25:42,164 --> 00:25:44,882
No. It's for me.
470
00:25:44,884 --> 00:25:47,682
If you've got a clean glass
though...
471
00:25:47,684 --> 00:25:49,562
Oh, beware Greeks bearing gifts.
472
00:25:49,564 --> 00:25:53,564
Not you as well.
473
00:25:53,724 --> 00:25:56,282
I was thinking about staying
for the weekend.
474
00:25:56,284 --> 00:26:00,284
Well as long as
you're happy to pay board.
475
00:26:00,404 --> 00:26:03,042
'I have brought shame both on myself
and my office.'
476
00:26:03,044 --> 00:26:04,202
Won't they be missing you
477
00:26:04,204 --> 00:26:06,522
in middle class suburbia?
478
00:26:06,524 --> 00:26:08,922
It's not as glamorous
as you've imagined.
479
00:26:08,924 --> 00:26:12,282
'Lord Melrose, who quit his position
on Monday, when it was revealed
480
00:26:12,284 --> 00:26:14,282
'he had used rent boys...'
481
00:26:14,284 --> 00:26:18,042
It's a fucking joke!
482
00:26:18,044 --> 00:26:19,482
Skeletons in the closet.
483
00:26:19,484 --> 00:26:21,402
At least he's out the closet.
484
00:26:21,404 --> 00:26:25,404
Well, well and fucking truly now,
never going to go back in again.
485
00:26:25,724 --> 00:26:27,609
Think he put it on the expenses?
486
00:26:36,815 --> 00:26:38,933
You moved!
487
00:26:38,935 --> 00:26:42,935
Let's have a look.
Hope you made me look handsome.
488
00:26:43,335 --> 00:26:47,335
Yeah. It's really good.
489
00:26:49,175 --> 00:26:53,175
That's my family box.
490
00:26:57,335 --> 00:26:59,813
You look different now.
491
00:26:59,815 --> 00:27:03,815
Shut up, Stella!
492
00:27:07,975 --> 00:27:09,293
'Your tits are ready.'
493
00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:11,735
- 'You can pay for a fuck.'
- 'Do it your fucking self!'
494
00:27:11,871 --> 00:27:13,229
'It's not about me.'
495
00:27:13,231 --> 00:27:16,509
'It was me.'
496
00:27:16,511 --> 00:27:19,631
Stella! Coat on - Stella.
497
00:27:19,716 --> 00:27:21,616
Come here while I get this slide in
your hair.
498
00:27:21,698 --> 00:27:23,092
You look like no-one owns you.
499
00:27:24,177 --> 00:27:26,057
We thought we'd take
the kids to the park.
500
00:27:26,258 --> 00:27:27,416
Give you a break.
501
00:27:27,418 --> 00:27:31,418
At least let me do breakfast.
I'm quite domesticated these days.
502
00:27:35,418 --> 00:27:36,416
Frank up yet?
503
00:27:36,418 --> 00:27:38,896
He goes next door for breakfast.
504
00:27:38,898 --> 00:27:41,176
He said he didn't
want to come with us.
505
00:27:41,178 --> 00:27:42,936
Don't worry. We'll feed them.
506
00:27:42,938 --> 00:27:45,878
Well, I'll stock up whilst you're
out. What's your favourite food?
507
00:27:45,911 --> 00:27:46,869
Chocolate milk.
508
00:27:46,871 --> 00:27:48,189
Yay! Chocolate milk!
509
00:27:48,191 --> 00:27:51,029
Come on, kids!
Last one to the swings.
510
00:27:51,031 --> 00:27:55,031
Don't you be sitting around here all
day, worrying, neither.
511
00:28:07,951 --> 00:28:09,429
Do you think it's weird?
512
00:28:09,431 --> 00:28:10,429
What?
513
00:28:10,431 --> 00:28:12,149
Boy George over there.
514
00:28:12,151 --> 00:28:14,709
Well, no other fucker seems to want
to face up to it.
515
00:28:14,711 --> 00:28:16,309
Probably just a phase.
516
00:28:16,311 --> 00:28:19,949
I work with kids.
I know what I'm talking about.
517
00:28:19,951 --> 00:28:23,951
Just her and him the whole time,
there's no mother figure.
518
00:28:24,911 --> 00:28:28,911
She's unbalanced. If we keep it nice
with Lip and Frank,
519
00:28:29,511 --> 00:28:33,511
I could get more time with her,
be that maternal influence.
520
00:28:34,191 --> 00:28:36,429
Maybe she's just different.
521
00:28:36,431 --> 00:28:37,629
A rug muncher?
522
00:28:37,631 --> 00:28:40,629
Do you mean do I think she's
a lesbian? I don't know.
523
00:28:40,631 --> 00:28:41,869
I couldn't care less
524
00:28:41,871 --> 00:28:45,871
if she grows up to be an Olympic
class muff-diver... just so long
525
00:28:46,231 --> 00:28:50,231
as she isn't doing the full k.d.
lang thing at her first holy communion.
526
00:28:50,831 --> 00:28:54,831
I think he's struggling.
527
00:28:58,391 --> 00:29:01,469
You always manage to get your feet
under the table somewhere.
528
00:29:01,471 --> 00:29:05,109
And I don't have to dress up,
either. Any idea what you look like?
529
00:29:05,111 --> 00:29:07,469
Yeah. An adult.
530
00:29:07,471 --> 00:29:09,389
Oh, he fills his daughter's
head with lies
531
00:29:09,391 --> 00:29:12,949
but the twat's wearing a tie,
so he's a fucking adult now.
532
00:29:12,951 --> 00:29:16,429
What's Stella's favourite food,
Frank?
533
00:29:16,431 --> 00:29:20,431
Chocolate milk. So you know.
534
00:29:20,871 --> 00:29:24,871
Just trying to help you.
535
00:29:28,311 --> 00:29:32,311
Like I was on my period out me arse,
the blood was gushing...
536
00:29:32,871 --> 00:29:35,229
Oh, here he is.
Got your Chatsworth on.
537
00:29:35,231 --> 00:29:39,109
Yaaaaaay!
538
00:29:39,111 --> 00:29:42,629
I wasn't going to say anything
before but you did look like a right twat in that suit.
539
00:29:42,631 --> 00:29:43,869
Don't hold back.
540
00:29:43,871 --> 00:29:47,871
I wasn't! Let's go fuck shit up!
541
00:29:49,671 --> 00:29:51,989
Ugh, man!
542
00:29:51,991 --> 00:29:54,629
He's in! Go on, son!
543
00:29:54,631 --> 00:29:56,389
Is it not like this round your way,
then?
544
00:29:56,391 --> 00:29:57,229
How d'you mean?
545
00:29:57,231 --> 00:29:59,349
Like it's posh, innit?
Big swanky apartments.
546
00:29:59,351 --> 00:30:02,389
Nah. It's not that swanky
an apartment.
547
00:30:02,391 --> 00:30:05,029
Come to check out my arse, paedo?
548
00:30:05,031 --> 00:30:07,629
Fuck off. Who'd paedo you?
549
00:30:07,631 --> 00:30:10,709
Give us that. Come on.
He's definitely got something.
550
00:30:10,711 --> 00:30:13,869
Specialised market for goggle eyes
and acne.
551
00:30:13,871 --> 00:30:16,469
Come on, darling,
make love to the camera.
552
00:30:16,471 --> 00:30:19,069
That's it, work it, baby!
553
00:30:19,071 --> 00:30:19,949
Hoi!
554
00:30:19,951 --> 00:30:22,429
Hey, Dad, come check out these
paedos!
555
00:30:22,431 --> 00:30:23,549
Fucking perverts!
556
00:30:23,551 --> 00:30:26,229
Even if I was a
pervert I wouldn't touch him!
557
00:30:26,231 --> 00:30:30,231
That's fucking it!
558
00:30:52,871 --> 00:30:56,871
Having expended all his energy
swimming upstream for no
559
00:30:57,311 --> 00:31:01,311
reason at all, the Chatsworth male
eventually stops fighting it
560
00:31:01,911 --> 00:31:04,069
and goes with the flow,
561
00:31:04,071 --> 00:31:08,071
back to the spawning ground to
occupy his correct place in society.
562
00:31:10,711 --> 00:31:11,829
Order is restored.
563
00:31:11,831 --> 00:31:12,869
..drink.
564
00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:13,989
I need the toilet.
565
00:31:13,991 --> 00:31:17,991
Go on, then,
upstairs to the toilet. Nice look.
566
00:31:18,391 --> 00:31:21,749
Temporary. How was that then,
sweetheart?
567
00:31:21,751 --> 00:31:23,109
Great.
568
00:31:23,111 --> 00:31:27,111
We were thinking, it might be nice
to spend a bit of time together as a family.
569
00:31:27,511 --> 00:31:29,509
Jockey later?
570
00:31:29,511 --> 00:31:31,069
Yeah, OK.
571
00:31:31,071 --> 00:31:33,389
Granddad, will you come with us?
572
00:31:33,391 --> 00:31:37,069
Well... I'm not feeling too good.
573
00:31:37,071 --> 00:31:41,029
Might have to take a rain check.
Old war wounds.
574
00:31:41,031 --> 00:31:44,389
- Better give your granddad
some peace and quiet. - Yeah, let's get a cup of tea.
575
00:31:44,391 --> 00:31:47,709
He's all talked out.
576
00:31:47,711 --> 00:31:51,711
Ground control to Major Tom.
We have lift off.
577
00:31:54,031 --> 00:31:55,589
Ah, you!
578
00:31:55,591 --> 00:31:58,229
Listen, mate.
I'm sorry about earlier.
579
00:31:58,231 --> 00:31:59,509
We were just having a laugh.
580
00:31:59,511 --> 00:32:03,511
I was being a dick.
Please accept my apology.
581
00:32:05,231 --> 00:32:07,029
Yeah, sure.
582
00:32:07,031 --> 00:32:09,069
Oh!
583
00:32:09,071 --> 00:32:12,589
Oh! Oh!
584
00:32:12,591 --> 00:32:15,149
Go round picking up fucking kiddies,
do you?
585
00:32:15,151 --> 00:32:16,029
Oh!
586
00:32:16,031 --> 00:32:17,709
Katie! Run now!
587
00:32:17,711 --> 00:32:19,429
Oh!
588
00:32:19,431 --> 00:32:23,431
Oh! Oh! Oh!
589
00:32:39,871 --> 00:32:42,471
Take cover!
590
00:32:43,911 --> 00:32:47,431
Bandits at six o'clock!
591
00:32:53,031 --> 00:32:56,829
Ow, ow!
592
00:32:56,831 --> 00:33:00,589
Fuck's sake. Hold on.
593
00:33:00,591 --> 00:33:01,589
What?
594
00:33:01,591 --> 00:33:05,591
Owww! I think I've got a splinter.
595
00:33:07,231 --> 00:33:11,231
She was terrified. I should never
have brought her here.
596
00:33:11,791 --> 00:33:13,149
Are we really that bad?
597
00:33:13,151 --> 00:33:14,309
I'm messing up.
598
00:33:14,311 --> 00:33:16,589
You're not. She's a great kid.
599
00:33:16,591 --> 00:33:18,749
She came here, met our lot.
And coped.
600
00:33:18,751 --> 00:33:19,509
Like you did.
601
00:33:19,511 --> 00:33:22,869
This is coping?
What if I'm getting it all wrong?
602
00:33:22,871 --> 00:33:26,871
What about the way she dresses?
Is she happy?
603
00:33:27,711 --> 00:33:29,229
How do I know if she's happy?
604
00:33:29,231 --> 00:33:33,231
Are you happy?
605
00:33:37,751 --> 00:33:41,029
Oh, Lip.
606
00:33:41,031 --> 00:33:45,031
Sorry.
607
00:33:47,311 --> 00:33:51,311
Sorry, Frank.
Can't seem to stop crying.
608
00:33:51,431 --> 00:33:54,349
It's Biddy, won't come near me.
609
00:33:54,351 --> 00:33:56,829
Hasn't humped me
or thumped me for days.
610
00:33:56,831 --> 00:33:58,909
Oww!
611
00:33:58,911 --> 00:34:00,389
Got it!
612
00:34:00,391 --> 00:34:02,349
Big bastard that.
613
00:34:02,351 --> 00:34:03,869
Have I lost it, Frank?
614
00:34:03,871 --> 00:34:07,871
Never, my little bandit.
615
00:34:08,231 --> 00:34:10,829
What's the matter with you now?
616
00:34:10,831 --> 00:34:14,831
Sympathy pains.
617
00:34:17,591 --> 00:34:19,669
Katie's fine.
618
00:34:19,671 --> 00:34:23,671
Mam and Shane are regaling her with
stories of... something funny.
619
00:34:25,471 --> 00:34:28,389
Thanks.
620
00:34:28,391 --> 00:34:31,989
Right, better be getting
Katie back home.
621
00:34:31,991 --> 00:34:35,349
Lip. She's got a family here.
You both have.
622
00:34:35,351 --> 00:34:37,389
You are putting all this
pressure on yourself.
623
00:34:37,391 --> 00:34:40,669
This daft lie with Frank.
He's a shit, so what?
624
00:34:40,671 --> 00:34:44,671
You do not let him
cost you all of us.
625
00:34:45,591 --> 00:34:49,591
Thanks.
626
00:34:56,311 --> 00:34:58,389
Coggsy!
627
00:34:58,391 --> 00:35:00,509
He won't come back, will he?
628
00:35:00,511 --> 00:35:04,511
No, sweetheart.
Uncle Jamie chased him away.
629
00:35:05,071 --> 00:35:09,071
I like Jamie. And Karen and Billy.
630
00:35:09,271 --> 00:35:12,509
I like them all.
631
00:35:12,511 --> 00:35:15,469
They like you, too.
632
00:35:15,471 --> 00:35:18,949
Your orders -
if you choose to accept...
633
00:35:18,951 --> 00:35:19,789
Frank!
634
00:35:19,791 --> 00:35:21,709
No talking in line, soldier.
635
00:35:21,711 --> 00:35:23,749
Frank!
636
00:35:23,751 --> 00:35:27,751
What the fuck's going on?
637
00:35:28,711 --> 00:35:29,549
Oh, come on!
638
00:35:29,551 --> 00:35:32,029
No, Frank! No - we've got morals!
639
00:35:32,031 --> 00:35:36,031
He doesn't even live here.
640
00:35:38,191 --> 00:35:39,829
Thank you very fucking much.
641
00:35:39,831 --> 00:35:41,509
Oh, you're angry at us?
642
00:35:41,511 --> 00:35:42,589
A working man
643
00:35:42,591 --> 00:35:46,229
gets one day a week to spend
his hard-earned money as he sees fit
644
00:35:46,231 --> 00:35:50,231
and the disappointing fruit of his
loins comes along and fucks it up.
645
00:35:50,271 --> 00:35:52,509
I need to speak to Katie. Alone.
646
00:35:52,511 --> 00:35:55,909
Well, I'm out of pocket now, so bung
us a tenner, I'll be out your hair.
647
00:35:55,911 --> 00:35:58,029
I haven't got any.
You've had the last of my wages.
648
00:35:58,031 --> 00:36:01,829
Granddad,
why have you got your uniform on?
649
00:36:01,831 --> 00:36:03,309
Do you have to go back?
650
00:36:03,311 --> 00:36:07,311
No, love.
And let's get one thing straight.
651
00:36:07,871 --> 00:36:11,871
I am not, and have never been
part of Her Majesty's armed forces.
652
00:36:12,831 --> 00:36:15,269
Your dad lied to you.
653
00:36:15,271 --> 00:36:17,589
Every night you were praying,
hoping I'd come back?
654
00:36:17,591 --> 00:36:21,349
I was always here.
Only one bus ride away.
655
00:36:21,351 --> 00:36:25,229
Take my advice - don't believe a
word he tells you ever again.
656
00:36:25,231 --> 00:36:28,949
He's full of it.
657
00:36:28,951 --> 00:36:31,069
Is that it, then?
You just drop a bomb and walk off?
658
00:36:31,071 --> 00:36:32,989
Combat references. How appropriate.
659
00:36:32,991 --> 00:36:34,109
You're a cunt.
660
00:36:34,111 --> 00:36:35,869
Hey - you're all still alive.
661
00:36:35,871 --> 00:36:38,909
Her up the road's got three dead.
Go and call her a cunt.
662
00:36:38,911 --> 00:36:41,469
Thought the job was over once you'd
pulled your dick out?
663
00:36:41,471 --> 00:36:44,829
You're repulsive.
You're fucking disgusting.
664
00:36:44,831 --> 00:36:47,069
You gave me nothing.
665
00:36:47,071 --> 00:36:50,149
What the fuck do you want?
666
00:36:50,151 --> 00:36:53,949
Ever since you arrived you've been
sorry for yourself, desperation
667
00:36:53,951 --> 00:36:57,951
oozing out of every insignificant,
under-achieving little pore.
668
00:37:02,671 --> 00:37:04,749
I did give you something.
669
00:37:04,751 --> 00:37:07,869
I gave you fucking freedom
and you can't even use it
670
00:37:07,871 --> 00:37:09,149
because every thing you do,
671
00:37:09,151 --> 00:37:11,789
every decision you make is about me,
isn't it?
672
00:37:11,791 --> 00:37:13,349
You carry me up here.
673
00:37:13,351 --> 00:37:17,381
Yeah, keep fucking walking.
I'm with you every single step.
674
00:37:27,854 --> 00:37:29,254
Oi, Zippy and Bungle.
675
00:37:29,284 --> 00:37:30,962
Nearly did meself an injury there.
676
00:37:30,964 --> 00:37:32,104
Where's your Dad?
677
00:37:32,115 --> 00:37:33,433
Dunno, not here.
678
00:37:33,435 --> 00:37:37,435
Lucky bastard.
I'm off to have me breakfast.
679
00:37:44,435 --> 00:37:47,353
Oh, there you are.
680
00:37:47,355 --> 00:37:51,355
Your breakfast's ready.
681
00:37:54,555 --> 00:37:58,555
All right! Fucking coming!
682
00:37:59,835 --> 00:38:01,153
Can I help you, sir?
683
00:38:01,155 --> 00:38:02,593
You not got a home to go to?
684
00:38:02,595 --> 00:38:06,595
Ha-ha, very funny.
685
00:38:06,835 --> 00:38:08,353
Do us a pint.
686
00:38:08,355 --> 00:38:09,673
Trying it out for size?
687
00:38:09,675 --> 00:38:11,833
I could do without
a lesson in morals from you.
688
00:38:11,835 --> 00:38:13,033
It's been a hard night, OK?
689
00:38:13,035 --> 00:38:16,033
- If it looks like a tramp
and smells like a tramp... - I don't want to talk about it.
690
00:38:16,035 --> 00:38:18,233
Then why hammer my door down
at the crack of the arse?
691
00:38:18,235 --> 00:38:20,193
You might not talk
but you'll fucking listen.
692
00:38:20,195 --> 00:38:23,113
- Graduate of Mimi Maguire's
School Of Counselling... - Look at the state of you, Lip!
693
00:38:23,115 --> 00:38:25,393
You've been back 48 hours
and you're a fucking mess!
694
00:38:25,395 --> 00:38:28,193
I am embracing my fine heritage.
695
00:38:28,195 --> 00:38:30,713
You was the one who told me
to go out and have a bit of fun.
696
00:38:30,715 --> 00:38:33,073
Looks like you're laughing it
right up.
697
00:38:33,075 --> 00:38:36,433
Oh, and while you were out last
night embracing your fine heritage,
698
00:38:36,435 --> 00:38:40,435
have you any idea
where your daughter is?
699
00:38:44,195 --> 00:38:45,873
Where's your dad?
700
00:38:45,875 --> 00:38:47,753
Not here. Lucky bastard.
701
00:38:47,755 --> 00:38:49,753
He didn't come home.
702
00:38:49,755 --> 00:38:52,353
OK, sweetheart,
you're coming back with me.
703
00:38:52,355 --> 00:38:55,993
- Shouldn't I wait here with her?
- Come on!
704
00:38:55,995 --> 00:38:58,913
Orphan Annie there ain't my problem.
705
00:38:58,915 --> 00:39:00,553
No granddaughter of mine
706
00:39:00,555 --> 00:39:03,593
is living in this shit tip
like this any longer.
707
00:39:03,595 --> 00:39:07,595
See ya!
708
00:39:11,035 --> 00:39:15,035
If there's a lesson I can give you,
it's that men are thick as fuck.
709
00:39:15,595 --> 00:39:19,595
That's how I know it must be hard,
only having your dad to talk to.
710
00:39:21,715 --> 00:39:25,715
I can see why you've made
the choices you've made.
711
00:39:26,155 --> 00:39:29,753
It's just that carrying on like this
isn't helping anyone.
712
00:39:29,755 --> 00:39:33,755
It's not your fault, love,
having the dad you've got.
713
00:39:37,075 --> 00:39:41,075
I picked this up for you.
714
00:39:43,155 --> 00:39:44,673
Pretty, isn't it.
715
00:39:44,675 --> 00:39:47,233
None of us wants to be a boy.
716
00:39:47,235 --> 00:39:51,153
Imagine going through life being
one of those lanky streaks of piss.
717
00:39:51,155 --> 00:39:53,433
Why don't we try it, eh?
718
00:39:53,435 --> 00:39:57,435
See how it feels?
719
00:40:05,395 --> 00:40:07,633
Do you want something?
720
00:40:07,635 --> 00:40:10,713
Or is acting creepy as fuck
another one of your quirks?
721
00:40:10,715 --> 00:40:13,153
Just watching a leader at work.
722
00:40:13,155 --> 00:40:15,673
More afternoon drinking
with Frank, is it?
723
00:40:15,675 --> 00:40:18,153
You need to deal
with this Scouts business.
724
00:40:18,155 --> 00:40:21,673
I'll talk to Remona,
offer to pay for any cow damage.
725
00:40:21,675 --> 00:40:22,833
I meant with Saul!
726
00:40:22,835 --> 00:40:24,473
He'll get over it, kids do.
727
00:40:24,475 --> 00:40:26,353
He shouldn't have to get over it.
728
00:40:26,355 --> 00:40:28,553
Scouts is something he wanted to do.
729
00:40:28,555 --> 00:40:32,033
Before Uncle Big Balls came along
and wasted it for him.
730
00:40:32,035 --> 00:40:33,553
That wasn't my intention.
731
00:40:33,555 --> 00:40:36,313
You made him feel like a twat
so he acted like one.
732
00:40:36,315 --> 00:40:40,315
So now you and your big swinging
ball sack need to sort it.
733
00:40:43,235 --> 00:40:47,235
Oh, you look gorgeous!
734
00:40:51,715 --> 00:40:53,553
Me and Katie have been having
a great time.
735
00:40:53,555 --> 00:40:55,273
Take it off, love. We're going home.
736
00:40:55,275 --> 00:40:56,393
Stay as you are.
737
00:40:56,395 --> 00:40:58,993
I think your dad here's
a little bit confused.
738
00:40:58,995 --> 00:41:01,393
You can't just
stick her in a dress, Mimi.
739
00:41:01,395 --> 00:41:03,113
She's not bloody Barbie!
740
00:41:03,115 --> 00:41:04,793
No, she thinks she's fucking Ken.
741
00:41:04,795 --> 00:41:08,795
Take... the dress... off!
742
00:41:16,315 --> 00:41:19,313
The prodigal son trick
is to go back the once.
743
00:41:19,315 --> 00:41:21,433
Law of diminishing returns with you.
744
00:41:21,435 --> 00:41:22,953
We're leaving.
745
00:41:22,955 --> 00:41:26,955
Oh, he's come back to tell us
he's going away.
746
00:41:27,275 --> 00:41:30,633
I'm sorry. Again.
747
00:41:30,635 --> 00:41:32,073
It's OK.
748
00:41:32,075 --> 00:41:34,593
Don't worry. He'll be back when the
749
00:41:34,595 --> 00:41:37,113
next existential crisis hits him.
Another failure to hang
750
00:41:37,115 --> 00:41:38,473
on his poor old dad.
751
00:41:38,475 --> 00:41:42,475
It's Katie's communion next week.
I won't stop you coming.
752
00:41:42,875 --> 00:41:46,875
Bear with me while I deal with the
overwhelming emotion of the moment.
753
00:41:51,995 --> 00:41:55,995
Come on, sweetheart.
754
00:42:06,315 --> 00:42:10,033
Sloppy work, Nazir.
I could blow that one down myself.
755
00:42:10,035 --> 00:42:11,753
Cow!
756
00:42:11,755 --> 00:42:15,755
Now then, boys, look.
This is how it should be done.
757
00:42:15,915 --> 00:42:17,633
Well, Baloo helped me.
758
00:42:17,635 --> 00:42:20,073
Well done, Baloo.
759
00:42:20,075 --> 00:42:24,075
? Well done, Baloo!
760
00:42:24,275 --> 00:42:26,993
? Well done to you!
761
00:42:26,995 --> 00:42:28,913
? Well done, Baloo!
762
00:42:28,915 --> 00:42:32,915
? Well done to you! ?
763
00:42:51,515 --> 00:42:53,633
Oh, the camera loves you.
764
00:42:53,635 --> 00:42:57,635
State of them. They're supposed
to be marrying the baby Jesus.
765
00:43:00,675 --> 00:43:04,393
Oh, will you look at that?
She's like an angel.
766
00:43:04,395 --> 00:43:07,153
It's not too late to change
your mind, you know.
767
00:43:07,155 --> 00:43:10,233
It makes Nana happy.
768
00:43:10,235 --> 00:43:13,755
That's no reason to do something
if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
769
00:43:16,035 --> 00:43:18,993
Grandad said we're Gallaghers -
we do it our own way.
770
00:43:18,995 --> 00:43:22,995
Yeah.
That's usually the bloody hard way.
771
00:43:23,755 --> 00:43:26,673
Hiya, gorgeous!
772
00:43:26,675 --> 00:43:30,675
Hiya, sweetheart!
773
00:43:31,075 --> 00:43:34,313
You got off lightly -
she were going to make you wear this!
774
00:43:34,315 --> 00:43:36,513
Love your shoes.
775
00:43:36,515 --> 00:43:40,515
Let's get in, let's do it.
776
00:43:42,395 --> 00:43:43,473
Frank?
777
00:43:43,475 --> 00:43:47,475
He knows it's on.
778
00:43:59,395 --> 00:44:03,395
You may enter the boardroom.
779
00:44:04,835 --> 00:44:06,633
Now in the 17th century,
780
00:44:06,635 --> 00:44:09,833
your parents might have handed
you off to a wet nurse.
781
00:44:09,835 --> 00:44:13,553
That's a woman who breast-feeds you
so your ma doesn't have to.
782
00:44:13,555 --> 00:44:15,593
I mean, that's brilliant!
783
00:44:15,595 --> 00:44:19,113
Spend your early years
sucking on a stranger's tits.
784
00:44:19,115 --> 00:44:21,353
And meanwhile,
Dad just stands there,
785
00:44:21,355 --> 00:44:24,713
the spare prick at the wedding,
so to speak.
786
00:44:24,715 --> 00:44:28,433
Because we never have
that same bond that mothers do.
787
00:44:28,435 --> 00:44:31,833
We never carry
the little ones around inside us.
788
00:44:31,835 --> 00:44:34,713
'The job's more or less finished
after you've pulled your dick out.
789
00:44:34,715 --> 00:44:37,673
'Except it's not.
And that's the big secret, isn't it?
790
00:44:37,675 --> 00:44:39,593
'We're terrified of our kids.
791
00:44:39,595 --> 00:44:43,595
'Little strangers
taking over our lives.
792
00:44:44,915 --> 00:44:47,273
'We don't always fuck up
because we're twats...
793
00:44:47,275 --> 00:44:51,275
'It's because we don't know
what else to do.
794
00:44:53,475 --> 00:44:57,033
'So thank fuck
for the extended family.'
795
00:44:57,035 --> 00:45:00,473
Well, most of 'em anyway.
796
00:45:00,475 --> 00:45:01,913
'You know I need to hear it,'
797
00:45:01,915 --> 00:45:03,433
those three little words.
798
00:45:03,435 --> 00:45:04,633
I'm here to see Remona.
799
00:45:04,635 --> 00:45:05,513
Piss off, Dad.
800
00:45:05,515 --> 00:45:07,593
A little secret between you and her?
801
00:45:07,595 --> 00:45:08,993
For fuck's sake!
802
00:45:08,995 --> 00:45:10,033
I am tired
803
00:45:10,035 --> 00:45:12,913
of seeing her buzzing around you
like a fly on shit.
804
00:45:12,915 --> 00:45:15,313
- What are you doing here?
- He's taken me passport.
805
00:45:15,315 --> 00:45:17,753
If I'm going to get her out of here,
I need you
806
00:45:17,755 --> 00:45:20,713
to get him off our backs
while I do it.
807
00:45:20,715 --> 00:45:22,393
He's not doing it for love, is he?
808
00:45:22,395 --> 00:45:24,353
Come on, you've got
a plane to catch.
809
00:45:24,355 --> 00:45:25,963
You're not going anywhere.
810
00:45:26,003 --> 00:46:06,081
811
00:46:06,083 --> 00:46:08,483
? Kumbaya
812
00:46:09,041 --> 00:46:11,519
? Kumbaya, my Lord
813
00:46:11,521 --> 00:46:13,641
? Kumbaya... ?
814
00:46:15,875 --> 00:46:19,875
All right, Baloo?
You're not scared, are you?
815
00:46:24,635 --> 00:46:28,635
Touch me
and I'll cut your hands off.
816
00:46:30,275 --> 00:46:33,001
Sleep tight.
817
00:46:33,051 --> 00:46:37,601
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