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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,871
Anyone watching thinking
we know fuck all
2
00:00:02,945 --> 00:00:07,095
about knowing fuck all about 'owt,
needs to watch their backs.
3
00:00:07,897 --> 00:00:11,336
So you've had your
Labour reclassifying skunk,
4
00:00:11,337 --> 00:00:12,461
sending prices sky-high.
5
00:00:12,718 --> 00:00:16,797
Literally, literally taking
the grass from its own roots.
6
00:00:16,822 --> 00:00:18,901
And now you've got your
ConDemNation.
7
00:00:19,777 --> 00:00:24,056
Liberals noshing Tories like
altar boys picking dimps up!
8
00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:27,536
Have we had a national
fucking stroke or what?
9
00:00:27,537 --> 00:00:31,896
Is revolution a word,
or was it never?
10
00:00:31,897 --> 00:00:34,056
Anybody watching needs to know,
11
00:00:34,057 --> 00:00:36,856
we cope better than average
with irony in Chatsworth.
12
00:00:36,857 --> 00:00:39,856
Well, for fucks sake,
we live in Manchester
13
00:00:39,857 --> 00:00:42,936
and they charge us for water.
14
00:00:42,937 --> 00:00:48,496
I wandered lonely as a clown,
necking mushrooms rarely found.
15
00:00:48,497 --> 00:00:52,416
This green and pleasant land
in ancient times.
16
00:00:52,417 --> 00:00:57,296
Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak,
yak, yak! It's not theirs any more.
17
00:00:57,297 --> 00:00:59,896
This is our England now!
18
00:00:59,897 --> 00:01:01,857
Paaaarty!
19
00:01:05,937 --> 00:01:09,416
'I used to go out with
this lad in my teens.
20
00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:11,896
'A real pin-up. Blonde, blue eyed.
21
00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:13,536
'Face of an angel.
22
00:01:13,537 --> 00:01:16,576
'If his timing had been better,
and his voice didn't sound like
23
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,216
'a hot water bottle being trod on,
24
00:01:18,217 --> 00:01:21,336
'he could've been a contender,
given Gary and Robbie a run for their money.
25
00:01:21,337 --> 00:01:25,216
'Certainly had the looks. The moves.
He was charm personified.
26
00:01:25,217 --> 00:01:29,936
'Everyone loved him. Everyone.
But not half as much as me.
27
00:01:29,937 --> 00:01:32,576
'He was everything I'd never had
before,
28
00:01:32,577 --> 00:01:34,976
'or since, come to think of it.
29
00:01:34,977 --> 00:01:38,736
'Attentive,
considerate, generous, kind.
30
00:01:38,737 --> 00:01:41,016
'Until the night when he
didn't take no as no.'
31
00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:42,536
No!
32
00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:47,416
'When I finally plucked up the
courage to tell... no-one believed me.
33
00:01:47,417 --> 00:01:49,217
'"He wouldn't do
something like that."
34
00:01:49,218 --> 00:01:51,416
'But he did.
35
00:01:51,417 --> 00:01:54,016
'And it taught me a
really valuable lesson.
36
00:01:54,017 --> 00:01:58,576
'Sometimes,
devils come dressed as angels.
37
00:01:58,577 --> 00:02:01,056
'And angels come dressed as devils.
38
00:02:01,057 --> 00:02:06,976
'Only problem is... sometimes
you only find out which is which
39
00:02:06,977 --> 00:02:09,897
'when it's too fuckin' late!'
40
00:03:00,937 --> 00:03:03,657
? When Jesus Comes around
41
00:03:08,937 --> 00:03:13,257
? All that's bad goes to ground.
42
00:03:16,017 --> 00:03:19,656
Where there is darkness,
I shall bring light.
43
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:24,416
And where there is hatred,
I shall bring love.
44
00:03:24,417 --> 00:03:26,817
Love! Love!
45
00:03:31,417 --> 00:03:34,977
All I fucking need. A McCartney
to play against my Lennon.
46
00:03:37,057 --> 00:03:38,937
? You have the choice.
47
00:03:40,657 --> 00:03:42,497
Hallelujah!
48
00:03:44,017 --> 00:03:46,856
? Salvation or damnation... ?
49
00:03:46,857 --> 00:03:49,257
You see, one mention of religion and
it's got us all arguing,
50
00:03:49,258 --> 00:03:52,216
while those cracked twats
are peddling their shite
51
00:03:52,217 --> 00:03:54,456
and lining their pockets
52
00:03:54,457 --> 00:03:57,136
and frightening the lives out
of the vulnerable and lonely.
53
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:58,456
Oh, fucking hell!
54
00:03:58,457 --> 00:04:01,176
We're a non-profit making
organisation, actually.
55
00:04:01,177 --> 00:04:02,496
Oh, L. Ron Hubbard!
56
00:04:02,497 --> 00:04:04,095
You'll have to forgive him, Father.
57
00:04:04,096 --> 00:04:05,737
I keep telling you, Mimi.
I'm not a priest.
58
00:04:05,738 --> 00:04:10,497
Just one soul wanting to spread
a little happiness to another.
59
00:04:12,057 --> 00:04:13,857
Would you be willing to put one up?
60
00:04:13,858 --> 00:04:17,136
Anything we can do to help.
61
00:04:17,137 --> 00:04:21,897
That's good to hear.
Bless you, one and all.
62
00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:28,417
What is it you lot are on? Ritalin?
63
00:04:34,377 --> 00:04:35,696
What?
64
00:04:35,697 --> 00:04:38,656
'Scuse!
65
00:04:38,657 --> 00:04:40,256
We haven't met...
66
00:04:40,257 --> 00:04:42,736
Jesus. Jesus O'Toole.
67
00:04:42,737 --> 00:04:44,376
Religious family?
68
00:04:44,377 --> 00:04:46,456
Yeah, I was called Bernadette.
69
00:04:46,457 --> 00:04:49,456
You know, until I came out and
they realised I weren't a girl.
70
00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:52,776
I changed it by deed poll,
in honour of the boss.
71
00:04:52,777 --> 00:04:54,656
Oh!
72
00:04:54,657 --> 00:04:57,936
We had a lad called Moses in
our class when I was a kid.
73
00:04:57,937 --> 00:05:01,457
But he got knocked over by a
forklift truck on work experience.
74
00:05:05,177 --> 00:05:07,976
Got another poster?
It's just for college.
75
00:05:07,977 --> 00:05:11,976
There's a few lost lambs
there, I can tell you.
76
00:05:11,977 --> 00:05:13,257
Your name's Mike?
77
00:05:13,258 --> 00:05:15,456
Mikey.
78
00:05:15,457 --> 00:05:17,216
Mick... Micky.
79
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:17,977
Angel.
80
00:05:17,978 --> 00:05:19,656
Stop it.
81
00:05:19,657 --> 00:05:21,936
Michael was one of the archangels.
82
00:05:21,937 --> 00:05:23,496
God's hard man.
83
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:25,456
Fighter.
84
00:05:25,457 --> 00:05:29,417
Coming to the prayer meeting?
85
00:05:32,137 --> 00:05:33,497
Yeah. OK.
86
00:05:41,817 --> 00:05:46,416
Tell your big brother next time he
wants something, not to send you.
87
00:05:46,417 --> 00:05:48,816
He needs to come in himself.
88
00:05:48,817 --> 00:05:49,936
Will do.
89
00:05:49,937 --> 00:05:52,497
Call it 20.
You'll be getting me arrested.
90
00:06:02,217 --> 00:06:04,377
I'll see you in court then.
91
00:06:22,377 --> 00:06:24,936
Can't you do something about that?
92
00:06:24,937 --> 00:06:27,176
Oh, back off, miserable arse.
93
00:06:27,177 --> 00:06:28,177
Can't bar them for
enjoying themselves.
94
00:06:28,178 --> 00:06:30,696
Oh, I didn't mean bar them.
95
00:06:30,697 --> 00:06:32,217
I just meant burn them at the stake.
96
00:06:32,218 --> 00:06:34,696
That'll shut the fuckers up.
97
00:06:34,697 --> 00:06:35,975
Free country, Frank.
98
00:06:35,976 --> 00:06:38,257
Only if you're a Christian
Fundamentalist, apparently.
99
00:06:38,258 --> 00:06:41,456
Or some other vocal minority,
like your fucking lot.
100
00:06:41,457 --> 00:06:45,376
What do you mean by that?
101
00:06:45,377 --> 00:06:50,336
Oh, you see? Someone dares criticise,
have an opinion, you're up in arms!
102
00:06:50,337 --> 00:06:51,936
Dad, shut the fuck up!
103
00:06:51,937 --> 00:06:56,056
No. You can't have a balanced
discussion, can't dare to disagree.
104
00:06:56,057 --> 00:07:00,536
Oh, sorry, but the vast majority
of folk in the free world
105
00:07:00,537 --> 00:07:03,216
don't share your point of
view vis a vis your God
106
00:07:03,217 --> 00:07:06,176
and the way his representatives on
Earth are conducting themselves.
107
00:07:06,177 --> 00:07:08,416
You're welcome to
your opinion, Frank.
108
00:07:08,417 --> 00:07:09,375
Oh, cheers.
109
00:07:09,376 --> 00:07:10,335
I just don't want to hear it.
110
00:07:10,336 --> 00:07:12,775
And don't we know it. Someone
dares speak out of turn
111
00:07:12,776 --> 00:07:14,577
and you're down on them
like a ton of bricks,
112
00:07:14,578 --> 00:07:16,616
literally,
in some parts of the world.
113
00:07:16,617 --> 00:07:18,097
That's bang out of order.
114
00:07:18,098 --> 00:07:21,656
No. Karen. Blowing yourself up and
taking folk with you
115
00:07:21,657 --> 00:07:23,696
who don't wanna go,
is bang out of order!
116
00:07:23,697 --> 00:07:25,736
You need to watch
what you're saying.
117
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:30,137
Or what? You're going to get a Fatwa
on me, yeah? Frankie gets a Fatwa?
118
00:07:37,337 --> 00:07:39,617
I'm not saying one religion
is any better than the other.
119
00:07:39,618 --> 00:07:41,457
They're all shite.
120
00:07:42,937 --> 00:07:47,016
It's just a way of administering
control, pulling strings.
121
00:07:47,017 --> 00:07:49,776
God's just a bogeyman!
122
00:07:49,777 --> 00:07:51,057
That is so offensive.
123
00:07:51,058 --> 00:07:53,496
Well, I'd rate buggering choirboys
124
00:07:53,497 --> 00:07:56,736
and abusing kids in care more
offensive, Mimi, but, hey, you know,
125
00:07:56,737 --> 00:08:00,216
one man's Sistine Chapel ceiling
is another man's floor, I suppose.
126
00:08:00,217 --> 00:08:03,256
So all Catholics bugger
choirboys, do they?
127
00:08:03,257 --> 00:08:08,137
Can't say I have. Shane?
128
00:08:13,737 --> 00:08:16,376
(CROWD CHANTING):
Go home to your wives!
129
00:08:16,377 --> 00:08:19,736
Go home to your wives!
130
00:08:19,737 --> 00:08:23,816
I've been here ages.
Say I'm the Devil Incarnate.
131
00:08:23,817 --> 00:08:25,377
I'd be insulted if I knew
what it meant.
132
00:08:25,378 --> 00:08:27,176
What's this? What you playing at?
133
00:08:27,177 --> 00:08:28,497
Just trying to raise awareness.
134
00:08:28,498 --> 00:08:31,056
Not outside my place
of work you're not!
135
00:08:31,057 --> 00:08:32,097
You're a whore.
136
00:08:32,098 --> 00:08:34,536
A little Old Testament
for my tastes, but yep.
137
00:08:34,537 --> 00:08:38,016
I thought you were
here to get everyone happy clappy,
138
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:40,337
not interfere with the way I earn
my living, or give an opinion on it.
139
00:08:40,338 --> 00:08:44,176
Let's pray, Kelly.
Join me. Be forgiven.
140
00:08:44,177 --> 00:08:48,336
I'll be on me knees as
soon as I clock on for work
141
00:08:48,337 --> 00:08:51,256
and you'll be flat on your back
if you don't call your bitches off.
142
00:08:51,257 --> 00:08:54,496
I don't want
or need your forgiveness.
143
00:08:54,497 --> 00:08:57,696
It's the Almighty
you're asking to forgive.
144
00:08:57,697 --> 00:09:00,896
And be honest, you could do with
a little guidance in your life.
145
00:09:00,897 --> 00:09:02,976
No!
146
00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:06,696
Tonya could've done with some, too.
147
00:09:06,697 --> 00:09:11,216
With light in her life, she could
have avoided a lot of heartache.
148
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,136
How the fuck do you...?
149
00:09:13,137 --> 00:09:15,657
Move!
150
00:09:17,617 --> 00:09:20,337
And there's plenty
more where that came from, too!
151
00:09:23,937 --> 00:09:27,536
I'm here to help, Kelly. Let me.
152
00:09:27,537 --> 00:09:28,497
What's going on?
153
00:09:28,498 --> 00:09:30,496
How do you know about our Tonya?
154
00:09:30,497 --> 00:09:32,056
How do you know about me sister?
155
00:09:32,057 --> 00:09:33,257
What's happening?
156
00:09:33,258 --> 00:09:35,296
Let the love in, Kelly.
157
00:09:35,297 --> 00:09:37,456
Fuck'd you know me name?
158
00:09:37,457 --> 00:09:39,496
All right, pal. What you up to?
159
00:09:39,497 --> 00:09:40,697
Spreading the word..
160
00:09:40,698 --> 00:09:43,336
Well fucking spread it
somewhere else!
161
00:09:43,337 --> 00:09:45,537
Jesus loves you, Shane.
162
00:09:51,337 --> 00:09:53,377
I'm praying for you.
163
00:09:57,377 --> 00:09:58,976
He knows your name.
164
00:09:58,977 --> 00:10:00,537
He knows our names!
165
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:21,680
? Someone's praying, Lord, kumbaya
166
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:26,919
? Oh, Lord, kumbaya. ?
167
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,999
He knew things about me, my family.
168
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,398
They could have asked someone
your name.
169
00:10:31,399 --> 00:10:32,600
Every now and then,
170
00:10:32,601 --> 00:10:36,359
you come across a holy man
with a direct link to him upstairs.
171
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:39,399
He's got those eyes, though,
hasn't he? Look right into you.
172
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,399
Know your every thought.
173
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,760
See right into our souls.
174
00:10:43,761 --> 00:10:46,839
Trickery, Kelly. Smoke and mirrors,
like all religions.
175
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:49,159
Except yours, obviously.
176
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:52,879
Fear of an all-seeing, all-knowing,
unforgiving deity
177
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,999
that doesn't even exist.
178
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,879
Except yours,
as previously mentioned.
179
00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:01,679
Hang on, got to admit it's been
a bit nicer since they arrived.
180
00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:03,480
Let me give you a hand.
181
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,040
Kids off the street are socialising
182
00:11:10,041 --> 00:11:12,759
instead of making nuisances
of themselves.
183
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,079
Stop!
184
00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:18,159
Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!
185
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:20,319
Jesus is doing no harm.
186
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,199
You dropped your purse.
187
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,399
Thank you.
188
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,159
APPLAUSE
189
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,639
Well done!
190
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,639
Apart from picketing my business
191
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,399
and threatening to expose
my clientele, you mean?
192
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,959
Let them fill their boots
and move on.
193
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:38,719
How much harm are a gang of
Bible-bashers going to do us, eh?
194
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,080
LAUGHTER
195
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:54,840
(MUFFLED SCREAMS)
196
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:07,120
You touch me, and you're dead!
I'm a Maguire!
197
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:10,600
And when they find out what
you're doing to one of their own...
198
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,680
At least I got the right one.
199
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:22,279
Marty?!
200
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,359
Me nuts!
201
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,680
(LAUGHS)
202
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,599
We were in Spain, paradise.
203
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,719
Happiest ever.
204
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,079
We had each other.
205
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,040
The kids.
206
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:39,440
So what happened?
207
00:12:39,441 --> 00:12:43,079
I couldn't give her what she wanted.
I tried.
208
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:45,079
Had this job in Fuengirola.
209
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,639
We were just scraping by,
but we were together.
210
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,600
Anyway, before long...
211
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,239
She found someone who could give her
what she wanted.
212
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,359
She left you.
213
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:57,919
Took my kids.
214
00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:01,720
Arsin-arsin-arsin' around behind
my back with some greasy wop!
215
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,159
Wops are Italian.
216
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,519
You were in Spain.
217
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:10,040
They're all the same gel-wearing
tight trousered bastards. Put the fire out! She...
218
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:15,080
She put out the fire - desire -
that I felt for her.
219
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,480
So you're back here.
220
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:28,159
Fuck, sorry.
221
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,760
Who is it?
222
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:33,359
Mum.
223
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,320
It's Carol?
224
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:39,280
I had no idea she'd...
225
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:47,480
You have had a shit time of it,
haven't you?
226
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,719
Look, you can't stay here.
227
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,279
I'll have a word with Shane.
228
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:58,279
It'll only be the couch,
but at least you'll be warm. Safe.
229
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,240
How about it, eh?
230
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,040
Yeah.
231
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,519
There's a prayer meeting at eight.
232
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,799
Does it look like I go
to prayer meetings?
233
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:15,719
Looks like you need to. There's an
Xbox on the bus. PS3. Wii.
234
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:16,958
What's your name?
235
00:14:16,959 --> 00:14:18,200
Mephistopheles.
236
00:14:18,201 --> 00:14:21,840
Call him Meff for short.
237
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,879
I've been sent by God to save you.
238
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,199
Many women bigger, wiser
239
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,999
and on the legal side of puberty
to you have tried to save me
240
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,440
and failed spectacularly.
241
00:14:31,441 --> 00:14:35,319
Vernon Francis Gallagher.
Nine children to two different women.
242
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:38,439
Claiming disability benefits
on and off for a back condition,
243
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:42,359
which only materialises at the same
time as the possibility of a job.
244
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,719
What are you,
some sort of Lib-Dem-Tory spy?
245
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,919
Receiving child benefits
for almost 30 years.
246
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:52,399
But that money's never put a meal
on the table. Clothes on their backs.
247
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,319
Me and my benefits
are classified information.
248
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,999
It's theft, Frank. A crime
249
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,719
not only against your fellow man,
but God himself.
250
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,759
I don't give a toss
about my fellow man.
251
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,079
And as for God...
252
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:05,600
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
253
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:11,039
? Salvation or damnation! ?
254
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,679
Who the fuck are you?
255
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:16,799
? You have the choice! ?
256
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,119
See the light!
257
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:19,880
? Salvation... ?
258
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:23,680
Fuck that!
259
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:25,519
He's on his own,
260
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,639
in that shitty squat
the junkies used to use.
261
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,679
She only wants Marty staying here,
Veronica's brother.
262
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,600
Well, we need a fuckin' arsonist.
263
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,960
Mickey!
264
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,680
He's got nowhere to live. Mickey!
265
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,400
I wouldn't be able to leave
a match...
266
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:59,079
or a lighter out...
for fear of him torching the place.
267
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:00,319
Oh, God!
268
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,679
He's got a right potty mouth!
269
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,319
Fuck this, fuck that,
fuck the other.
270
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,199
Every other word's fuck. Or twat.
Who?
271
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,039
Marty. He used to shout
"cuntflaps" at the nuns.
272
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,159
Cilla would pick that up,
"cuntflaps".
273
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:15,039
You've got a spare room.
274
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:15,840
No chance.
275
00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:18,279
You didn't move your lips.
276
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:19,198
He's a liability.
277
00:16:19,199 --> 00:16:20,040
KNOCK AT DOOR
278
00:16:20,041 --> 00:16:21,400
For fuck's sake!
279
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:25,998
Are you in on this, Ches?
280
00:16:25,999 --> 00:16:27,118
Yeah, too right.
281
00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:28,400
Did you call Lillian?
282
00:16:28,401 --> 00:16:30,879
I couldn't get through.
283
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,759
Mickey, you know where she is,
don't you?
284
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:39,480
? ENNIO MORRICONE:
The Good, The Bad And The Ugly
285
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:47,320
ECSTATIC CRIES FROM CAR
286
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,960
KNOCKING
287
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,679
If the car's a rockin',
don't come knockin'.
288
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:58,119
I've gone mobile. I couldn't
get a punter past the God squad,
289
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,680
so I've launched Feels On Wheels.
290
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,559
It's an orgy!
291
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:06,959
Didn't start like that. Two of them
292
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,799
were late and then all
my appointments went crashing,
293
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:13,519
so I thought "Oh, to hell with it",
and I chucked 'em all in at once.
294
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:16,279
I take a 10% cut and keep film
and distribution rights.
295
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,599
They're being filmed?
296
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:21,759
Tiny cameras the size of
matchsticks. They have no clue.
297
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:22,800
Who'd watch that?
298
00:17:22,801 --> 00:17:24,879
There's a market for chubby chasers.
299
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:26,799
I knock out DVDs on the computer,
300
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,839
take 'em down the car boot
on a Saturday. Make a mint!
301
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,559
We're going to see Jesus.
302
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:37,320
I'm fucked off with the effect
his crusade's having on business.
303
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:38,400
Jamie!
304
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,239
I'm with you in spirit, but if
there's a ruck,
305
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:43,160
I won't be of any use.
306
00:17:43,161 --> 00:17:45,799
You're getting on a bit, so...
307
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:49,479
No, it's the love eggs. Last time I
was involved in a tussle, I lost one.
308
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:53,079
One of the girls had to come down and
suction it out
309
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,239
with the hose off the Dyson.
310
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,120
I've just brought up a bit of sick.
311
00:17:57,121 --> 00:17:58,280
So have I.
312
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,919
Get your boss out here now,
or you'll be meeting your maker
313
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:26,519
a bit quicker
than you'd fuckin' imagined.
314
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:29,639
You want to play it the hard way,
that's fine with us.
315
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,199
Stop this, please!
For the love of God, stop.
316
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:35,719
None of this'd be happening
if you'd come out when you were told.
317
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,999
We want your pickets
removed from outside our businesses.
318
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,679
There's a message to be spread,
Chesney.
319
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,839
Your brains'll be being spread
if you don't listen up.
320
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,519
You're eating into our profits.
That's not on.
321
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,519
Your trade breeds misery.
322
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,799
Families ripped apart.
323
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,000
People have a freedom of choice.
324
00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:54,359
I can't stand idly by
325
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:59,199
and watch men and women drown
in the very thing that you sell.
326
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,919
Look at Frank - the happiness
327
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:04,719
his children have missed out on
through his addiction.
328
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:08,600
If you knew Frank, you'd know
his kids have had a lucky escape.
329
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:13,639
Call them off.
330
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,839
We're here to do God's work.
331
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:17,519
Peace and love!
332
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,319
I can't call that off.
333
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,199
Can't ask it to stop.
334
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:26,559
Well, then, you leave us no choice.
335
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:28,959
You can't call it off.
336
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,759
But I...
337
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,160
can.
338
00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:45,759
So why all the cloak and dagger?
339
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:49,040
Why jump me in the street,
why not just knock round?
340
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,679
I'm on the run.
There's a warrant out.
341
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:53,719
For?
342
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,719
I didn't pay maintenance.
343
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:59,639
I didn't have it. When she kicked
me out, I slept on the beach.
344
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,159
I lost my job.
I didn't have a pot to piss in.
345
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,719
Besides...
346
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,079
The fella
she moved in with was loaded.
347
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,839
It's not like the kids went short.
348
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,359
What?
349
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:13,240
You haven't swore.
350
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:19,240
Fuck! Yeah.
351
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,480
Shane doesn't want you staying.
352
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:28,439
So I thought
the best thing we could do
353
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:32,159
would be to make this place
as comfy as we can.
354
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,959
Got a duvet cover there, too.
355
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,840
Anything else you want?
356
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:38,920
A fuck.
357
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,960
Is that your Tourette's back?
358
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,719
I'll ask one of the girls
to pop round. You got a type?
359
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,359
Er... blonde.
360
00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:59,240
About your size.
361
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:06,440
They'll be docking my pay. Bye.
362
00:21:34,300 --> 00:21:35,780
'It's me. Leave a message.'
363
00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:39,099
There's nothing going on here,
364
00:21:39,100 --> 00:21:41,659
so I'll leave it an hour or so,
then head home.
365
00:21:41,660 --> 00:21:44,299
If you're at the Jockey,
don't worry about rushing back,
366
00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:47,380
bath and bed when I get in,
I'm knackered. Have a good 'un.
367
00:21:52,780 --> 00:21:54,980
Love you.
368
00:22:02,340 --> 00:22:03,619
(SHRIEKS)
369
00:22:03,620 --> 00:22:04,979
(LAUGHS)
370
00:22:04,980 --> 00:22:06,539
Hey, leave 'em on.
371
00:22:06,540 --> 00:22:08,619
Shat myself then.
372
00:22:08,620 --> 00:22:10,259
Oh, my God.
373
00:22:10,260 --> 00:22:12,699
What do you think you're doing?
374
00:22:12,700 --> 00:22:14,779
(YELPS)
375
00:22:14,780 --> 00:22:16,979
Hang on, hang on. Punchline...
376
00:22:16,980 --> 00:22:19,019
And all because...
377
00:22:19,020 --> 00:22:21,499
The lady loves...
378
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:24,979
LAUGHTER
379
00:22:24,980 --> 00:22:27,779
It's hurting.
380
00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:30,179
And I pledge to thee my purity.
381
00:22:30,180 --> 00:22:32,779
ALL: And I pledge to thee my purity.
382
00:22:32,780 --> 00:22:35,059
And I pledge to thee my faith.
383
00:22:35,060 --> 00:22:37,259
ALL: And I pledge to thee my faith.
384
00:22:37,260 --> 00:22:39,939
Now and for ever. Amen.
385
00:22:39,940 --> 00:22:43,379
ALL: Now and for ever. Amen.
386
00:22:43,380 --> 00:22:45,939
All right, crisps and pop coming up.
387
00:22:45,940 --> 00:22:47,140
Enjoy!
388
00:22:50,860 --> 00:22:52,779
You missed it.
389
00:22:52,780 --> 00:22:53,500
The prayer session.
390
00:22:53,501 --> 00:22:54,579
I know.
391
00:22:54,580 --> 00:22:57,259
You can't just turn up
for the games, crisps and pop.
392
00:22:57,260 --> 00:22:59,578
You can't just reap the rewards.
You have to put the time in.
393
00:22:59,579 --> 00:23:00,620
It's all new to me.
394
00:23:00,621 --> 00:23:03,340
Like a big family, innit?
395
00:23:04,940 --> 00:23:06,859
I'll be on time, next time.
396
00:23:06,860 --> 00:23:08,779
Erm...
397
00:23:08,780 --> 00:23:12,619
I'm sure God wouldn't mind
me making an exception.
398
00:23:12,620 --> 00:23:15,100
Monster Munch or Nibletts?
399
00:23:23,460 --> 00:23:26,779
Your cronies are fucking up
business in the pub.
400
00:23:26,780 --> 00:23:28,059
And the shop.
401
00:23:28,060 --> 00:23:29,179
And Lillian's.
402
00:23:29,180 --> 00:23:30,300
You have to stop. Now.
403
00:23:30,301 --> 00:23:32,459
I can't.
404
00:23:32,460 --> 00:23:35,179
I wouldn't put myself
in the middle of it, Patty.
405
00:23:35,180 --> 00:23:38,979
Jesus was never afraid of a fight
and neither am I, Jamie.
406
00:23:38,980 --> 00:23:39,660
I'd sooner not do this.
407
00:23:39,661 --> 00:23:42,219
Well, then don't.
Leave the devil behind
408
00:23:42,220 --> 00:23:44,499
and look for salvation.
Before it's too late.
409
00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:47,420
I want you off the estate
this time tomorrow.
410
00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:11,899
No wonder your crew knew
all there is to know about everyone.
411
00:24:11,900 --> 00:24:14,179
The font of all knowledge, hey?
412
00:24:14,180 --> 00:24:16,579
I know how people
might redeem themselves.
413
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:20,339
Since he shone his light,
my life is finally worth living
414
00:24:20,340 --> 00:24:22,099
and yours could be too,
415
00:24:22,100 --> 00:24:23,859
so hallelujah!
416
00:24:23,860 --> 00:24:25,659
ALL: Hallelujah!
417
00:24:25,660 --> 00:24:27,939
Join us in the light.
418
00:24:27,940 --> 00:24:32,259
And let his love illuminate
the darkest corners of your life.
419
00:24:32,260 --> 00:24:35,379
I don't really do religion,
I'm a Catholic.
420
00:24:35,380 --> 00:24:39,259
You think the Lord will forgive you
for all you've done? Beware!
421
00:24:39,260 --> 00:24:42,019
You beware. If you think
I'm going to let you and yours
422
00:24:42,020 --> 00:24:45,659
fuck up my nearest and dearest,
you're wrong.
423
00:24:45,660 --> 00:24:47,379
No-one messes with my family.
424
00:24:47,380 --> 00:24:50,059
If you think we're a pushover,
think again.
425
00:24:50,060 --> 00:24:52,179
Blow it out your arse.
426
00:24:52,180 --> 00:24:57,139
I'm New Testament, your mumbo
jumbo scaremongery's lost on me.
427
00:24:57,140 --> 00:24:59,939
You want trouble, Patty,
bring it on!
428
00:24:59,940 --> 00:25:06,060
Verily, God will visit upon you
fire and brimstone and damnation!
429
00:25:07,980 --> 00:25:10,859
The earth shall weep, Mimi.
430
00:25:10,860 --> 00:25:15,180
The earth shall weep!
431
00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:21,379
Pepperoni, madam.
432
00:25:21,380 --> 00:25:23,899
Extra basil like you asked.
433
00:25:23,900 --> 00:25:26,020
I meant on the pizza.
434
00:25:27,340 --> 00:25:30,060
Well, basil on tap. You can
have it any time you want now.
435
00:25:35,180 --> 00:25:37,179
I'm glad you're not
in a hurry to get home.
436
00:25:37,180 --> 00:25:39,980
No-one to hurry to.
Shane's out on family business.
437
00:25:41,460 --> 00:25:43,259
You mean kicking somebody's arse?
438
00:25:43,260 --> 00:25:46,859
Or telling someone they're going
to get their arse kicked.
439
00:25:46,860 --> 00:25:48,539
Not sure what he gets up to lately
440
00:25:48,540 --> 00:25:50,980
but I'm pretty sure it involves
arses and kicking.
441
00:25:52,180 --> 00:25:56,780
Can't be easy being
married to a Maguire.
442
00:25:59,620 --> 00:26:01,900
Bit of an effort lately.
443
00:26:05,580 --> 00:26:07,939
All marriages go through
funny patches, eh?
444
00:26:07,940 --> 00:26:09,059
Yep.
445
00:26:09,060 --> 00:26:09,700
It'll just be a funny patch.
446
00:26:09,701 --> 00:26:10,620
Yeah.
447
00:26:12,940 --> 00:26:14,740
Mam said we need to be on red alert.
448
00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:16,499
What does that mean?
449
00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:19,819
Patty's made a threat which Mam
thinks we need to take seriously.
450
00:26:19,820 --> 00:26:22,619
So there's a family pow wow
later to decide the next move.
451
00:26:22,620 --> 00:26:25,539
Hiya. What you been up to?
452
00:26:25,540 --> 00:26:29,780
Not much. Someone nearly got
their arse kicked, that's all. You?
453
00:26:31,540 --> 00:26:33,019
Been with a client.
454
00:26:33,020 --> 00:26:34,779
Can you smoke that?
455
00:26:34,780 --> 00:26:35,819
It's basil.
456
00:26:35,820 --> 00:26:37,060
You've give it a name?
457
00:26:37,061 --> 00:26:39,939
No, Micky. Everyone calls it basil.
458
00:26:39,940 --> 00:26:41,179
What's it for?
459
00:26:41,180 --> 00:26:44,499
Cooking. Stick it in a pasta,
top of pizzas.
460
00:26:44,500 --> 00:26:45,898
We're having pasta again?
461
00:26:45,899 --> 00:26:47,300
No, we're not having pasta.
462
00:26:47,301 --> 00:26:49,139
What the fuck you buy it for then?
463
00:26:49,140 --> 00:26:49,980
It's a gift.
464
00:26:49,981 --> 00:26:51,499
Some perv's buying you a plant
465
00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:53,579
as a thank you
for paying to fuck you?
466
00:26:53,580 --> 00:26:56,860
It wasn't a perv.
It was Marty.
467
00:27:07,900 --> 00:27:09,380
So he's buying you a plant?
468
00:27:09,381 --> 00:27:11,979
Shane! Punter have bought me
watches before now.
469
00:27:11,980 --> 00:27:15,499
Red roses marking the anniversary
of when they first fucked me
470
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:18,659
and you and me, we laughed at that.
471
00:27:18,660 --> 00:27:20,019
Why's it bothering you?
472
00:27:20,020 --> 00:27:22,499
You do not buy a plant.
473
00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:25,819
We were just having a laugh. We just
got talking about stuff we liked...
474
00:27:25,820 --> 00:27:27,180
Shane!
475
00:27:29,180 --> 00:27:32,339
Shane, come on! This is stupid!
476
00:27:32,340 --> 00:27:33,580
Shane, will you...
477
00:27:33,581 --> 00:27:34,779
Fuck off.
478
00:27:34,780 --> 00:27:37,339
It's a plant. A fucking plant.
479
00:27:37,340 --> 00:27:40,140
It was a joke, a thank you,
that's all.
480
00:27:44,860 --> 00:27:46,179
Shane!
481
00:27:46,180 --> 00:27:48,420
Stop it! Shane!
482
00:27:51,100 --> 00:27:52,380
Shane, stop it.
483
00:27:52,381 --> 00:27:53,619
Shane?
484
00:27:53,620 --> 00:27:56,659
Stop it now. No! No!
485
00:27:56,660 --> 00:27:59,899
Shane! Leave it. Leave it.
486
00:27:59,900 --> 00:28:02,499
Fuck off. It's none of
your business. Fucking do one!
487
00:28:02,500 --> 00:28:04,139
Are you OK, love?
488
00:28:04,140 --> 00:28:05,179
Just leave.
489
00:28:05,180 --> 00:28:06,739
(GRUNTS)
490
00:28:06,740 --> 00:28:09,419
What the fuck are you doing?!
491
00:28:09,420 --> 00:28:12,179
Fuck's this about?!
492
00:28:12,180 --> 00:28:13,739
There's no need,
493
00:28:13,740 --> 00:28:16,019
absolutely no need!
494
00:28:16,020 --> 00:28:18,179
He stays away.
495
00:28:18,180 --> 00:28:20,099
You don't say who can and can't...
496
00:28:20,100 --> 00:28:22,939
You are my wife!
497
00:28:22,940 --> 00:28:25,299
Kelly Maguire.
498
00:28:25,300 --> 00:28:27,299
You got that?
499
00:28:27,300 --> 00:28:27,940
Maguire.
500
00:28:27,941 --> 00:28:29,700
And don't I fucking know it!
501
00:28:31,180 --> 00:28:33,620
Come on. I said come on.
502
00:28:36,220 --> 00:28:37,819
(CRIES)
503
00:28:37,820 --> 00:28:40,260
(MOANS)
504
00:28:43,100 --> 00:28:45,299
What's it like living round here?
505
00:28:45,300 --> 00:28:46,899
Better than where I used to live.
506
00:28:46,900 --> 00:28:49,179
We shouldn't even be
talking to each other.
507
00:28:49,180 --> 00:28:51,859
Being on opposing sides, you mean?
508
00:28:51,860 --> 00:28:54,979
The Maguires have asked me to find
out what your lot are planning.
509
00:28:54,980 --> 00:28:58,859
And I've been asked to find out
what the Maguires are planning.
510
00:28:58,860 --> 00:29:00,139
Fuck 'em.
511
00:29:00,140 --> 00:29:02,139
Fuck 'em all.
512
00:29:02,140 --> 00:29:03,779
I'll pray for your soul.
513
00:29:03,780 --> 00:29:05,699
Don't you ever get pissed off?
514
00:29:05,700 --> 00:29:08,579
I mean, um, bored,
doing this all the time?
515
00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:12,779
If I can get through to one person,
just one, it'll have been worthwhile.
516
00:29:12,780 --> 00:29:14,300
PHONE RINGS
517
00:29:17,780 --> 00:29:19,739
Yes, mate.
518
00:29:19,740 --> 00:29:22,059
Never just want a bit of fun?
519
00:29:22,060 --> 00:29:23,499
I do have fun.
520
00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:27,179
I enjoy my work, my mission.
521
00:29:27,180 --> 00:29:30,019
Look, I believe in God but
only for an hour on a Sunday.
522
00:29:30,020 --> 00:29:32,179
It hasn't taken over my whole life.
523
00:29:32,180 --> 00:29:33,260
It needs to.
524
00:29:34,500 --> 00:29:37,060
Don't you just want
a bit of excitement?
525
00:29:38,860 --> 00:29:40,539
BANG
526
00:29:40,540 --> 00:29:42,180
ALARM RINGS
527
00:29:57,900 --> 00:29:58,980
Fuck.
528
00:30:01,100 --> 00:30:03,219
These fuckers are harder
than we thought.
529
00:30:03,220 --> 00:30:05,739
Willing to go to any lengths
to prove their point.
530
00:30:05,740 --> 00:30:07,540
It might not have been them.
531
00:30:08,780 --> 00:30:10,260
Who else could it have been?
532
00:30:10,261 --> 00:30:14,259
I told Patty the score,
she threw down the gauntlet.
533
00:30:14,260 --> 00:30:16,139
This is war.
534
00:30:16,140 --> 00:30:19,499
So much for peace and goodwill, eh?
535
00:30:19,500 --> 00:30:23,939
Me and my Brendan was involved
in an explosion once. 1972.
536
00:30:23,940 --> 00:30:27,019
We were on a cruise,
celebrating us anniversary.
537
00:30:27,020 --> 00:30:29,459
Having dinner
at the Captains' table,
538
00:30:29,460 --> 00:30:31,819
when suddenly,
this God almighty bang...
539
00:30:31,820 --> 00:30:35,179
and the ship tipped.
Felt it... wham.
540
00:30:35,180 --> 00:30:38,499
And within an hour,
the whole vessel were upside down.
541
00:30:38,500 --> 00:30:39,500
We were trapped.
542
00:30:43,220 --> 00:30:46,339
That was the Poseidon Adventure.
543
00:30:46,340 --> 00:30:47,780
Did it not happen?
544
00:30:49,020 --> 00:30:52,859
So we're just going to sit here,
let 'em get away with it?
545
00:30:52,860 --> 00:30:56,019
Would you be doing this if I'd have
been blown to fuckin' pieces?
546
00:30:56,020 --> 00:30:57,619
No.
547
00:30:57,620 --> 00:30:59,219
So what do we do?
548
00:30:59,220 --> 00:31:00,819
Go round there and we nail them.
549
00:31:00,820 --> 00:31:03,699
What? You mean kill them?
Kill Jesus?
550
00:31:03,700 --> 00:31:04,500
Kill 'em all.
551
00:31:04,501 --> 00:31:06,259
We tried the gentle approach,
552
00:31:06,260 --> 00:31:08,179
and they wouldn't listen.
553
00:31:08,180 --> 00:31:10,899
Your answer to everything that,
isn't it?
554
00:31:10,900 --> 00:31:11,780
What do you suggest?
555
00:31:11,781 --> 00:31:14,819
I dunno. Anything but that.
556
00:31:14,820 --> 00:31:15,740
It's just wrong.
557
00:31:15,741 --> 00:31:17,379
It's all wrong.
558
00:31:17,380 --> 00:31:21,140
This time tomorrow, our problem
will no longer be our problem.
559
00:31:31,060 --> 00:31:34,619
Kel, Kel! Are you OK?
He didn't hit you?
560
00:31:34,620 --> 00:31:36,859
He wouldn't fucking dare.
561
00:31:36,860 --> 00:31:39,700
Don't come round again, Marty.
562
00:31:43,260 --> 00:31:44,340
Why?
563
00:31:45,540 --> 00:31:46,740
He'll kill you.
564
00:31:46,741 --> 00:31:48,419
I can't just stop seeing you.
565
00:31:48,420 --> 00:31:48,938
You're going to have to.
566
00:31:48,939 --> 00:31:49,740
I can't!
567
00:31:49,741 --> 00:31:51,579
Why the fuck not?
568
00:31:51,580 --> 00:31:52,620
Because I love ya.
569
00:32:00,380 --> 00:32:01,620
I love ya!
570
00:32:09,300 --> 00:32:10,699
You sure you're OK?
571
00:32:10,700 --> 00:32:12,699
Fine, thanks, Auntie.
572
00:32:12,700 --> 00:32:15,099
If you're agreeable,
you could stay with us.
573
00:32:15,100 --> 00:32:19,499
Come with us. Join our Crusade.
574
00:32:19,500 --> 00:32:20,700
You mean it?
575
00:32:22,020 --> 00:32:24,260
Indeed we do.
576
00:32:27,380 --> 00:32:28,419
Where's Grace?
577
00:32:28,420 --> 00:32:31,539
Upstairs, having a lie down.
578
00:32:31,540 --> 00:32:35,179
I'm off on a few messages.
579
00:32:35,180 --> 00:32:38,299
If you need anything,
just call for Jesus.
580
00:32:38,300 --> 00:32:40,100
I'll be in the office.
581
00:32:42,780 --> 00:32:46,580
THUNDER
582
00:33:00,740 --> 00:33:02,379
What you doing?
583
00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:04,060
What's it look like?
584
00:33:24,740 --> 00:33:26,420
It's upside down.
585
00:33:29,460 --> 00:33:31,620
Hey. Jesus?
586
00:33:50,660 --> 00:33:53,059
If you hadn't dragged
my husband off,
587
00:33:53,060 --> 00:33:56,179
he'd have killed that poor bastard
and be looking at a life stretch.
588
00:33:56,180 --> 00:33:57,939
So I owe you.
589
00:33:57,940 --> 00:33:59,020
My lot have had enough
590
00:33:59,021 --> 00:34:01,979
and they plan to make sure
you don't cause no more problems.
591
00:34:01,980 --> 00:34:04,259
When they realise
we pose no threat...
592
00:34:04,260 --> 00:34:05,619
Look, Jesus...
593
00:34:05,620 --> 00:34:08,299
What's your real name?
I can't keep calling you that.
594
00:34:08,300 --> 00:34:10,459
That is my real name.
595
00:34:10,460 --> 00:34:11,980
What did your mam call you?
596
00:34:13,300 --> 00:34:16,980
Fuck's sake, I'm trying
to have a serious conversation.
597
00:34:21,700 --> 00:34:22,739
Eric.
598
00:34:22,740 --> 00:34:24,420
Eric.
599
00:34:25,780 --> 00:34:27,179
Eric.
600
00:34:27,180 --> 00:34:32,659
Some folk respond well
to kindness, a soft touch.
601
00:34:32,660 --> 00:34:34,740
Jamie isn't the type of man
you want to be messing with.
602
00:34:34,741 --> 00:34:37,139
When the Romans came for Christ...
603
00:34:37,140 --> 00:34:39,220
You want to finish up
in the foundations for a flyover...
604
00:34:39,221 --> 00:34:40,580
Sit tight.
605
00:34:45,260 --> 00:34:47,619
There's something
I don't understand.
606
00:34:47,620 --> 00:34:49,180
You're a...
607
00:34:51,180 --> 00:34:52,220
good looking bloke.
608
00:34:52,221 --> 00:34:56,099
Kind, considerate, passionate.
609
00:34:56,100 --> 00:34:59,099
Your love for God
tells me that much.
610
00:34:59,100 --> 00:35:00,338
You never been tempted?
611
00:35:00,339 --> 00:35:01,540
You never been tempted?
612
00:35:01,541 --> 00:35:03,859
I pray to God to keep me pure.
613
00:35:03,860 --> 00:35:05,939
You never longed for that touch?
614
00:35:05,940 --> 00:35:07,140
That euphoria.
615
00:35:08,700 --> 00:35:10,379
Him.
616
00:35:10,380 --> 00:35:11,260
His need.
617
00:35:11,261 --> 00:35:12,620
My need.
618
00:35:14,860 --> 00:35:16,180
When we make love...
619
00:35:17,740 --> 00:35:20,379
I could almost believe in God.
620
00:35:20,380 --> 00:35:21,899
It's that good.
621
00:35:21,900 --> 00:35:23,180
It's that good.
622
00:35:26,580 --> 00:35:27,659
Don't be here.
623
00:35:27,660 --> 00:35:29,700
They're coming.
624
00:35:33,700 --> 00:35:34,979
See ya.
625
00:35:34,980 --> 00:35:36,220
Bye.
626
00:35:38,260 --> 00:35:40,060
Nice shoes, Grace.
627
00:35:44,060 --> 00:35:45,580
You'd better go.
628
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,559
Arghh! What?!
629
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:23,599
Have you heard from Libby?
630
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,639
I'm the last one she'd
get in touch with!
631
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:26,480
Where is she?
632
00:36:26,481 --> 00:36:27,920
I don't know!
633
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:34,280
Why are you so intent
on seeing her anyway?
634
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,318
She didn't say
where she was going,
635
00:36:38,319 --> 00:36:39,440
or who she was going with?
636
00:36:39,441 --> 00:36:41,879
Why would she tell me?
637
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,439
She didn't leave a note for me?
638
00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:46,039
What, for her jailer?
639
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:47,759
Her tormentor?
640
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:49,159
I'm her mother.
641
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,239
Just because you've seen the light,
642
00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:53,720
doesn't mean to say
everyone else has too.
643
00:37:05,720 --> 00:37:08,159
Go seek comfort in Jesus.
644
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:09,879
Not the real one, obviously.
645
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,119
I'm not suggesting you should
top yourself,
646
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,880
but, you know, the himbo on the bus.
647
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:21,239
I'm sure he can rustle up
a few words of comfort
648
00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:22,839
from some Epistle or another.
649
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:24,880
You know, rattle his tambourine.
650
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:35,239
Fuck me.
651
00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:37,800
The ice maiden melteth.
652
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:07,239
I shed a few tears for her.
653
00:38:07,240 --> 00:38:08,520
Mostly of regret.
654
00:38:08,521 --> 00:38:11,359
You treated her like shite.
655
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:13,639
Regret that I ever met her,
656
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:16,559
that we ever picked up where
we left off,
657
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,839
cos truth be told, there was nothing
left to pick up.
658
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:22,639
But, I got me tea made.
Me washing done...
659
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:24,279
A good nosh now and again.
660
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,160
You bastard!
661
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:31,319
All she needed to hear was, "I love
you", and she was on her knees.
662
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:33,840
I've had better sex but my
shirts have never been whiter.
663
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:41,519
I wondered when the real Patty
would resurface.
664
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:43,400
And here she is.
665
00:38:51,720 --> 00:38:54,120
So, this is goodbye then, is it?
666
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:58,839
I can't see any reason to stay.
667
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:00,760
Where did you go when you left here?
668
00:39:00,761 --> 00:39:03,439
What turned you from the godless
old crone we knew
669
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:06,679
into the God-fearing crone
now before us?
670
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:09,639
Much like yourself,
I lived a selfish life,
671
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:14,319
attending to my needs before even
considering the needs of others.
672
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:18,039
And then I went back to Ireland
and, while there,
673
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:23,679
had what I can only describe
as my Road To Damascus experience.
674
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:27,239
Oh, so God just popped up and
showed you the error of your ways?
675
00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:29,279
Yeah? Well, I don't believe a word.
676
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:32,559
I think little Patty clocked
the Jesus freaks and thought,
677
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:36,479
"Bingo! Free meals and a roof over
me head for the rest of me life."
678
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,919
I wouldn't expect you to believe.
679
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:42,479
I was a lost sheep and God saved me.
680
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,039
Liar.
681
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:47,799
May He strike me down here and now
682
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:50,280
if I tell a word of a lie.
683
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:47,439
Matty?
684
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:48,519
I'm going.
685
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:49,559
Good.
686
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,479
No. I mean, I'm leaving this.
687
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,039
You don't have to leave this.
Just here.
688
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:56,679
My head's full of everything
I've been missing.
689
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:59,519
You can have it all, you know.
I think God would let you.
690
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,959
How can I preach purity
when all I want to be is impure?
691
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:06,839
Preach goodness,
when all I want to do is bad?
692
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:09,640
I'm not worthy.
They deserve better than me.
693
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:15,359
What you want to do, it's normal.
694
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:16,719
It's not bad.
695
00:41:16,720 --> 00:41:18,719
But I want it to be bad.
696
00:41:18,720 --> 00:41:21,320
I want to bite the apple, Kelly.
697
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,200
Thank you.
698
00:42:06,720 --> 00:42:07,999
Anyone?
699
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,440
Nothing.
700
00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:28,079
See you got my present, then?
701
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:29,200
I won't ask where it came from.
702
00:42:29,201 --> 00:42:30,399
'No, don't.'
703
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:31,480
You got my present?
704
00:42:31,481 --> 00:42:34,159
I got it.
705
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:38,919
Listen, next time you're saving
souls round here, come save mine.
706
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:40,840
Bye.
707
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:47,999
They say the damage to my spine
is irreparable.
708
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:49,399
I'll never walk again.
709
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,959
You've taken it very well,
I'll give you that.
710
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:53,519
I've got my life back, Frank.
711
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:54,999
What could be better?
712
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:56,679
I don't understand.
713
00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:58,759
The police will be here any minute.
714
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:02,399
And what I tell them
depends very much on you.
715
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:04,519
How do you mean?
716
00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:07,839
Everyone on the estate
knows how much you hated me.
717
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,920
Everyone knows how much you
wanted me out the picture.
718
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:15,719
If you agree to have me move back,
719
00:43:15,720 --> 00:43:18,079
then I agree not to tell the police
720
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:21,079
you pushed me down the stairs -
that you did this.
721
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,959
Well, that's just gonna be my word
against... Who's gonna believe..?
722
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,999
Ah! Oh, nurse!
723
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:27,439
Oh! Nurse!
724
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:28,959
Pain, oh!
725
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:30,439
Oh!
726
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:32,400
We'll have to increase
your morphine.
727
00:43:32,401 --> 00:43:35,439
I'm just going to check with
the doctor. Hang on there, Patty.
728
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:36,800
Oh! Oh!
729
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:45,679
Wouldn't you be better off
back on the bus,
730
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:47,799
amongst your own kind?
731
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:51,799
With those Bible bashing bastards?
I can't stand the feckin' sight of them!
732
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:53,719
I want to be amongst folk I know.
733
00:43:53,720 --> 00:43:56,479
Familiar faces, surroundings.
734
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:58,159
I want to come home.
735
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:02,440
And I wanted to make your life
a feckin' misery, Frank.
736
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:20,439
'I ran into that old boyfriend
a few years ago.
737
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:22,199
'I was out with the girls in town,
738
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,799
'turned a corner and bang,
there he was.
739
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:28,399
'No longer a possible
replacement for Robbie or Gary.
740
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:30,880
'His face was etched with all
the wrong he'd done.
741
00:44:30,881 --> 00:44:32,439
'All the pain he'd caused.'
742
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:33,440
Oh, they're here!
743
00:44:33,441 --> 00:44:35,519
'And, if I believed in God,
744
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:39,759
'I'd like to think he'd had every
sin that he'd ever committed
745
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:43,719
'scratched into his face
as a warning to others
746
00:44:43,720 --> 00:44:46,000
'to keep their distance - to beware.
747
00:44:51,240 --> 00:44:52,720
'That's if I believed in God.'
748
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:56,599
What are you going on about?
It's a scratch card!
749
00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:59,599
(REPORTER)
Tonight, a pensioner was brutally assaulted
750
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:01,359
in her home in Belvedere Road...
751
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:05,839
If it gets any clearer,
I'll be topping meself.
752
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:07,280
It's Frank's name on the line.
753
00:45:07,281 --> 00:45:08,800
Yeah, and his head.
754
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:12,479
Don't know how you missed him!
755
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:13,559
What the fuck?
756
00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:16,359
Forensics rustled a few new words
up for you, Frank.
757
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:17,359
DNA.
758
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:18,799
Positive match.
759
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:21,719
If it was you, that'd be
us finished.
760
00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:22,840
I need Kev! Where is he?
761
00:45:22,865 --> 00:45:28,165
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762
00:45:28,215 --> 00:45:32,765
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