All language subtitles for Samantha Who s02e07 The Farm.eng

Sometimes taking things you like and mixing them
together can make another thing you like even more.

Todd. Todd! Todd!

What are-- what are you--
wh are you doing home?

Well,what about you? I thought
you were at granola boy's house.

Unless it's mixing your current
boyfrie and your ex-boyfriend.

Because granola boy called,and
they've got some fresh granola in.

This is awesome. I mean,it's,uh,awkward.

I don't know why i said "awesome,"
'cause it's not. It's awkward.

Mostly because he's wearing my shirt.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- I'lluh,go change.
- Good plan.

- All right,well,that went really well,huh?
- No.

But i'm glad,because
now you owe me a favor.

My mom's coming in from
canada for the week.

Wait a minute. She's in canada?

- You're canadian?
- Yeah. Why?

It's just not something that you eaboot.

Anyway,look,she knows we broke up.

What she doesn't know is that i live on your
couch and that your boyfriend wears my shirts.

Got it. You want me to moveoot.

Yes.

Okay. Well,what should i--
should i come by and say hi to r?

Or let me guess. She hates me.

Oh,she might,if she ever met you.

You said you never mixed
boyfriends and parents.

That's not true. I mean,i obviously
introduced you to my parents.

Well... Sort of.

Oh,i can't do this. I can't do this.

Oh,what is wrong?

It's just-- being in
your parents' house...

They're in myrtle beach.

You know,it's your childhood room.

I
- i don't know if i can do it in front of this many unicorns.

Well,unless you want to do it in front
of the guys reflooring my apartment,

- then this is gonna have to do.
- Okay.

Hey,sammy,i saw your car
in the driveway. Oh,my god!

Hey,daddy. You guys bring me anything?

It's okay. You can have
the apartment. I'll...

Go stay at my... Parents'hoose.

Why would you invite your
boyfriend to meet your parents?

Seriously,you need a handler.

You cannot be left alone.

I don't want things in
my life to be separate.

You know,i like everything individually,so
why wouldn't i like them all mixed together?

- You like your red wine,right?
- Yeah,i love it.

- You like martinis?
- Sure.

- Enjoy.
- Thank you. I will.

I'd just be happy to mix with my own
boyfriend,but chase is always busy.

I've been trying to get him to go
see that movie "australia" with me.

I mean,i even told him,it's a
big romance starring hugh jackman.

What more could a guy want?

He used to want to spend
every second with me.

Now i never see him.

I see him every day. Believe
me. You're not missing anything.

Yes. That's an idea.

If i want to see him,go to his work.

Uh,which is also my work,so no.

I'm telling you,dnot
mix parts of your life.

I think you are wrong.

And owen is amazing,and i cannot wait
for my parents to get to know him.

Okay,well,have you considered this?

When your pa get to know owen,owen
will get to know your parents.

No,i have not.

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Samantha
Who? Season02 Episode07

Okay,so i'm gonna put these
fluorescent bulbs in all of the lamps.

Dad,you put out the
recycled toilet paper.

Oh,and no jokes about how
you can see stuff in it.

Oh,and,mother,i made up these cards
that i thought might come in handy.

Is it a party game? I love
party games.What's it c

it's called "things to avoid
duringin? Ner with owen."

Oh,how lucky were you to find that one?

"has he ever been married?"

"is he mried now?

Does he have children?
"canhe have children?

"your sex life. Oursex life."

Howard,can you believe this? Our
daughter is embarrassed by us.

Us? She didn't givemeany cards.

Oh,i can't tell the
constipated parrot joke?

No. Please.

Because smitty and reno down at the chicken
farm loved it,and they're a tough laugh.

Daddy,for me?

Okay. But you do realize
that he hasn't gone for days.

- No,i know it. - All ri-- all
right,all right,all right. You know what?

I was once told i was a
"bewitching" conversationalist.

Why am i being singled out?

I mean,i've already met owen.

Yes,and pretended to be my sister.

So you can understand my concern.

Fine. Fine. I won't speak.

I'll just cook and bus tables.

What,i'm the hired help now?

Yes,but we think of you as
almost a member of the family.

Well done,sir.

I'm sorry?

Your mother,"who is coming to
stay," so miss newly would clear out?

Excellent story. Well played.

Uh,no,no,no. My mom really
was coming,but she canceled.

I was gonna call sam and
tell her to come home.

If i may...

Rarely does the universe offer
you a weekento yourself...

Andthe madden football game you ordered.

Speaking as one whose in-laws are
in the second week of their visit,

Ignoring such a convergence
seems like a slap to god's face.

Let's go.

Okay,so we're not
leaving until we're done.

First up is permits. Andrea.

Really? Is she gonna
be in the meetings now?

Just ignore me.

- I'm not even here.
- She's not even here.

So what are we gonna
dabout those permits?

Yes,sir.We're still
waiting for the city--

i'm sorry,jerri. Waiting?

So now waiting is doing? Is that it?

Oh,wait. I see the
similarities. I see them.

They're both participles,right?

They're both action words,like
"groveling,packing,firing."

I'm sorry. I thought you were kidding.
I thought you were like... I'm a bear.

A cute little baby
bear,that's what you are.

Okay. Okay. Dena? Dena?

Kicked out of the bear cave.

Call me.

You know,owen,i was an
environmentalist beforeit became a fad.

And if i'd ever gotten these two to
turn off a light when they left a room,

I'd be a rich man myse

i never said that you were rich.

Oh,it's okay. I am.

Samantha,uh,would you
pass the potatoes to owen?

And,uh,howard,would you like to ask our
guest if he wants to have children someday?

Okay,owen,um,you'reonna
love regina's chicken salad.

Oh,thank you. It looks
fantastic,but,uh,i don't eat chicken.

Pardon me?

Oh,but it's okay. I
mean,nothing to worry about.

I have plenty of potatoes here.

- You have a problem with chicken?
- Daddy.

No.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Just the industry that farms it.

Which... I now understand means you.

All right. What do
we got? Chicken stock.

Yams.

We have yams!

Uh,really,i'm fine.

Well,i guess you gave your little
topic cards to the wrong parent.

Mother,i told you he was a vegetarian.

Which is why i made a salad.

Withchicken.

But chickensalad.

Chicken.

Salad.

***I
- i can pick around it.

So is this a humane thing?

Because we have
free-range chickens only.

Uh,it's more of an
environmental concern.

Factory farming uses a
disproportionate amount of resources.

Oh,here we go,the part where i'm
personally responsible for "global warming."

Daddy,it's-- it's not "global
warming." Okay? It's very real.

Um,owen and i actually went to a lecture
about it last week,an incredibly informative--

And maybe about an hour and
a half too long-- lecture.

And now i get one in the
privacy of my own home.

Daddy,this is what owen essa
fmaornt aha l wivhoin? G.

He's-- he's
saving the planet.

And i'm killing it,right?

And my little hobby provides
food,jobs,a roof over your head.

And let me remind
you,chickens built this house.

Really? I'd love to
see pictures of that.

Oh,look! Beets. Nature's candy.

I'm-- i'm sorry. I didn't
mean to cause problems.

I should probably go. Yeah.

- No.
- Maybe we can do this some other time.

Yeah,but you're gonna miss dessert. I
- i hope you like panda.

Daddy,stop it!

Sam,i'll call you.

No,no. I'm coming with you.

No,you're not.

You walk out that door,missy,don't
bother coming back.

Then fine,i won't. Come on,owen.

Uh,thank you for a lovely evening.

Creamed corn?

Panda?

He rode his bike.

Last night was a complete
and utter disaster.

I feel bad for you sam. I do.

But the lesson we can all
take from this is ias right.

Yes,you were right. Never mix.

I mean,my father still wouldn't
talk to me this morning.

You guys were talking about
chicken and ended up with a beef.

A beef. Right?

I mean,i-i was just
defending my boyfriend.

It's not like i was attacking
my father and what he does.

Well,a guy like your dad iswhat he does.

You know what i have to do?

I have to go down there,i have to apologize
and i have to see what it is that he does.

No,don't. Because i spent one day at chase's
office,and it ruined him. It was horrible.

Meaning?

- You were right.
- Yes,i was right.

I'm having a great day.

Look,chapman will be fine.

He just needs to humiliate somebody
in public,and he'll be back to normal.

Yes. Andrea,please do it.

Just pretend to let chase take you down.

And why would i do that?

And why would she do that?

- So that dena will stop coming to your office.
- Deal.

You know who i blame for
all of this? Todd's mother.

I hope she's enjoying herself.

Intercepted!

No,no,no. That's interference.

No,that's 98,nothing.

- Yeah,switch controllers hawi wthho m?
- Back off,woman.

Would the world's greatest
dad like a mug for his coffee?

Well,if you're talking about
me,i like styrofoam cups,

So when they get dumped into the ocean,i
get to clog up a dolphin's blowhole.

Actually,the thing about styrofoam is tt the
danger of it is that it has these chemicals

That are released
when it-- i'm sorry.

It was a very informative lecture.

Thanks.

Daddy,i shouldn't have taken owen's
side without even knowing what you do

or even taking the time to find out.

I'm sorry.

Yeah,well,you've been busy.

You know,you had that whole coma
thing going on,you know,this and that.

So... This is where it happens,huh?

Yeah,this is it.

You loved coming here
when you were a kid.

You used to sit at this desk and play with
the stapler,be the boss like your old man.

Will you show me?

Oh,you just take it and
just kind of go like this...

"hey. I'm the boss."

No. Will you show me what you do?

No. You're just being
polite. It's-- hey,it's okay.

Please can i have a tour?

Okay. Sure. Why not?

Uh,we might have to get some booties...

So you don't get blood on those
nice shoes and maybe a shower cap.

So we're projecting revenues escalating
in that market,so i'm gonna need--

people.

Andrea.

Yes,mr,chapman?

Andrea,it has come to my attention
that you have made some sort of mistake.

Apologize.

- Yes.I've made
a-- - stand up.

I did make a mistake.

I messed up bad.

And i feel i need some sort of slap
on the wrist to show me who's the boss.

Oh,i didn't say to sit down.

Um,what
i--

what,do you call that
some sort of apology?

- I said everything that
we agreed-- - get up.

I'm sorry,mr. Chapman.

And i promise this is the very last
apology that you will ever need.

- You got it?
- No. Get on your knees,woman.

I'm never doing that.
This is not my fault.

I didn't mess things
up with your girlfriend.

- Okay,apologies accepted.
- I'm not apologizing. You apologize.

If you had gone to one stupid movie
with her instead of ignoring her,

Then she wouldn't have
dragged your life into my life.

Just go and fix it.

Okay,double bonuses if no one
ever mentions baby bear again.

Okay? Good meeting.

We're home.

You're back. I'm so
glad you two made up.

- So where'd you go?
- Chickens.

We went to the-- the
farm with the chickens.

Oh,my god. The chickens.

Howard,you did not.

Well,she wanted to see
what her old man does.

And now i know.

And i'll never forget.

She loved it,didn't you,sammy? Tell her.

Oh,i loved it. I loved it.

I'd love to stop thinkin
about it,but i just can't.

I got a tape i wanted to show ya.

Samantha,are you okay?

Uh,they have hoses... And then
the beaks. oh,my god! The beaks.

Found it!

Amd that's where they get the cutlets.

- Isn't that fascinating?
- I had forgotten that.

- Yeah.
- Sammy?

When you were little,i had a dream,and i was
gonna wait until i was dead to tell you about it,

But seeing how much you
loved it there today,i...

Come on,samantha. Do it
again. Do it for mommy.

Oh,howard!Look,she's
taking her first--

uh,testing,testing.

Okay,um,i just saw
"terms of endearment."

And,uh,so i think that it's important for me to
say what would happen to everything after i die.

Um,regina,i love you.

Everything's you

howard,are you coming or not?

Just one minute!

Don't yell at me. You're the who wanted
to watch "hardcastle and mccormick."

okay,anyway,um,everything that
isExcept for the chicken farm,

and that goes to my best little
girl sammy,like she always wanted.

Howard,you left nothing to your mother.

Oh,please send her a copy of this.

I'm not gonna wait till you're
dead to see her reaction.

So,sammy,whato you think?

I think... I think i'm
a chicken farmer. Yeah.

Help me.

What is it?

What is it? I'm-- i'm--
i'm a chicken farmer.

Oh,that. Honey,relax.

I have promised your father
lots of things after he's dead.

Just say "thank you," and then when he's
gone,you on my trip with me to hong kong.

You already have plans?

Well,your father won't go to china.

Ironically,by the time i get
there,he'll be 6 feet closer than me.

Hey,sammy. Come here. Look.

Ntha who i've been waiting
a long time to give you this.

The guys down at the farm gave it to
me for my 20th year in the business.

Look at that-- "the
cluck stops here."

Smitty came up with that.

And y-you'll get a chance to meet him
when you hang that over your desk tomorrow.

Tomorrow? No. N
- not until you die.

You gotta die first,silly.

Well,you need to learn the business.

You know,right after my death,you're
not gonna be in a very good headspace.

You know,viking funerals are
very powerful,unsettling things.

Dena. Dena.

Dena.

Excuse me. Stop. Move. Move. Ank you.

So you think i'm ignoring you?

What are you doing here?
Don't you have to work?

No,i forwarded all my calls.

Well,yeah,i don't feel
like i'm a priority anymore.

I miss the honeymoon
phase of our relationship.

Really?

I hated the honeymoon phase.

I couldn't wait for the
honeymoon phase to be over.

Why,so you could neglect me?

No. I--
You shh!

Look,this part we're in now,dena,it's...

This part is real.

I'm not a goopy guy.

I'm a bottom line guy. I'm a...

Like th what is he,like a tycoon?

- He's a stockman.
- He's a stockman.

- I mean,i have no idea what that
is. - It's-- well,he's not a--

- you know what?It doesn't matter.
- Okay.

It doesn't matter. The point
is,i wasn't neglecting you.

I was taking you for granted.

And i ven't been...

Comfortable enough to do
that with anyone in years.

Really?

It's okay. Sorry. I'm leaving.

No,come in. Wait,wait. What
are you doing? No,come back!

That's so romantic,you coming
through my bedroom window.

Uh,this is not romantic.

This is me being scared of your dad.

There's a lot of things that i
can be afraid of in this house.

Right. I-- yeah,i
was just,um...

Just doing my nails. It's fine.

- Careful.
- Oh,yeah.

Sorry about last night.

I should have just shut
up and not made a big deal.

But i got all competitive and everything,tried
to act strong in front of my woman.

I know you're strong.

I see you riding that bicycle
on your balcony every morning.

Well,i kind of have to.
Powers my electric toothbrush.

Hey,sammy,i was
think-- oh,my god.

Mr. Newly.

Don't you use my first name.
It's "mr. Newly" to you.

Daddy,please.

So what were you thinking,huh?

You're gonna steal our little girl away?

Well,think again.

Sam,did you tell him the news?

Daddy,can we please talk
about this downstairs?

- She's taking over my chicken farm.
- You what?

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

- No******
- You are?

- Yeah*******
- ********

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

No*********

I'm sorry. I
- i just can't.

So you're,uh... You're choosing him?

- No. - I-
i got it.

Daddy,i'm...

- Owen,i have to go talk to my father,okay?
- Okay,i'll go.

Okay. He has the hatchet.

Right. Right. Um,i'll call you.

Daddy...

I was not choosing owen over you. Okay?

Well,you don't want to run the family
business,fine. That's no-- no problem.

I'm sorry.

Iove you,but i just
could not do what you do.

Yeah,because you don't approve.

No. No. Becauseicouldn't do it,which
is why it's good that you do.

Look,lots of us-- we eat chicken and hamburgers,and
we don't have to think about how we get it,

Because people like you protect
us from having to,like a dad.

You know,i knew the farm
wasn't right for you.

But when you dropped by the office,it was like
you were my little girl again,and i was your hero.

Dad,you still are.

Nah. You got a great guy
now,and he is. He's great.

I just don't think i... Handled it well.

Well,the reason i can pick a great guy is
because i have a fantastic one for a dad.

Now hamburger
production-- boy,oh,boy.

Y- you want to talk about
nightmares,i mean these--

Ernest hemingway once said
that life is a "moveable feast."

I think what he meant is that there's an instinctive
human desire to mix the ingredients of our lives...

Preparing a far richer meal than if
those ingredients had never come together.

So this parrot walks
into a taco stand--

Daddy no.....

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