All language subtitles for Rumpole s03e03 Net.eng

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(Man) Who is it?

Custard.

(Man) Oh, come in, old chap.

Shall we go inside, sir?

I say, steady on, you chaps.
Got a warrant, I suppose?

Don't argue, Napier.
Don't demean yourself.

(Napier) I say, KV, you fellows. KV.

Officer, can't we be
a little bit civilised?

There's no need to forget
Mr Manners, is there?

(Screaming)

You can have a nice cup of tea.

Get dressed, sir, and follow me.

Why can't we get a kettle put on?

There you are, Susan.
Upsy-daisy, dear.

(Napier) Nothing.

Steady on, you chaps.

(Woman) All right, I'm going.

An Englishman's home
is his castle, you know.

Does anyone know the?

If you wouldn't mind waiting
while we check...

Excuse me.

Name, sir?

You have no right.
It's a question of national security.

Name, please.

Don't bother to make up
nom de plume.

We'll need
some sort of identification.

(Rumpole)
"This be the verse you grave for me.

"Here he lies where he longed to be.

"Home is the sailor, home from sea.
And the hunter home from the hill."

You're back then, Mr Rumpole?

Back, yes, Henry. No thanks to you.

Next time I'm in Africa,
try not to send a cable saying,

"The murder has been arranged."

They were nearly ordering
my execution.

- The murder went off.
- So did I nearly.

But Mr Bernard rang, sir.

He wants a con today
in the bawdyhouse case. R V Lee.

"Keep thy foot out of brothels,"
Henry.

Such places are far more entertaining
to litigate about than to visit.

Tell Bernard I'm ready.
"On Her Majesty's Service."

Has our gracious queen nothing
better to do than to write to me

about money I'm supposed to owe
her wretched government?

What's this?

A letter from LAC. L-A-C.
Lawyers as churchgoers.

"Moral Purpose In The Law.

"A call to witness
for all believing barristers."

The brothel case, eh?

Not much danger of finding
any moral cause in that.

Rumpole, great heavens!
We thought you'd gone native!

We pictured you ruling some
primitive tribe under a bong tree!

Oh, Erskine-Brown, you are a caution.

Well, I'd better take charge of the
primitive tribe in these Chambers.

Is Guthrie Featherstone's
old room empty?

We're deciding the Head of Chambers
problem at the Chambers' meeting.

Nobody in Guthrie's old room,
is there, Henry?

(Henry)
No. I don't think you ought to...

- Rumpole.
- Hmm?

A word. I think it only fair to let
you know. I've done it.

Then, plead guilty, Claude.

- I've applied for silk, Rumpole.
- Oh?

I've got a reasonable chance.
Phylli's right behind me.

Claude Erskine-Brown, QC.
How do you think it sounds?

Very promising,
provided you're on the other side.

When is this QC business
likely to take place?

In about six weeks.

- After the Chambers' meeting?
- Yes.

That's all right, then.
Best of British luck, old man.

(Sobs)

What are you doing in here?

I thought it was all right.

Doesn't this room belong to a judge
who doesn't come here any more?

Bare ruined choirs
where late, sweet Guthrie sang.

Is it shoplifting?
You're too young for divorce.

I... I'm a barrister.

Oh, bad luck. Here.

Thank you.

I'm Mrs Erskine-Brown's pupil.

Mrs Erskine-Brown?
Phyllida Trant that was.

The Portia of our Chambers.

Miss Phyllida Trant now has a pupil.
Good Lord. How time flies, hmm?

She left me in a case after lunch
at Tower Bridge.

There was an argument
about the evidence.

I said I couldn't do it
without Miss Trant,

who was in a difficulty.

Oh, you should have charged in,
taken your chance.

The magistrate said,
"What sort of difficulty?"

And I said, "I think
she's still at the hairdresser's."

Oh, Lord, yes.

Forgetting the first lesson
for a pupil -

protect the private life of your
learned pupil master or mistress.

Now, Mrs Erskine-Brown
says I'm wet behind the ears

and I'd better get myself a job
in the glove department at Harrods.

She says they probably won't want
another woman in Chambers anyway.

You've got a name, have you,
I suppose?

Fiona Allways.

Oh. Well, that's not your fault.

It's all I've ever wanted to be.

When girls wanted
to ride showjumpers,

I stood in front of the mirror and made
speeches in murder cases.

Look, I'm doing a conference
here shortly.

You can take a note of it,
if you like. Make yourself useful.

No objection to prostitution,
have you?

(Shrieks)

What's the matter now?

I suppose you think
that's all I'm fit for!

(Hilda) And those savoury bits
that you do so well, Dodo.

- People do like those, don't they?
- Mmm. People do.

What exactly do you want them for?

For Rumpole's first Chambers' party,
as Head.

And as the Head's lady,

I shall want to keep an eye
on the catering.

That's why I'm nobbling you
for your little cheesy bits, Dodo.

Is it such a thing,
being Head of Chambers?

Daddy, C H Wystan,
was Head of our Chambers.

- That was how I met Rumpole.
- Oh, yes.

I think I remember.

The Head of Chambers
is captain of the ship, Dodo.

Tremendously respected.

Oh, and I got this
in the spring sales,

at Debenhams' Cocktail Hour
For The More Mature Woman.

Mmm.

Marigold Featherstone used to wear all
kinds of things when Guthrie was Head.

- Most of them quite unsuitable.
- This will be quite a thing for you.

But I'm not at all nervous, Dodo,

provided I know you're behind me

with your little cheesy bits.

(Rumpole) It is not just a matter
of a disorderly house.

The prosecution have aimed
their big guns at you,

loaded with a charge of blackmail.

Demanding money with menaces.

I've explained it to the clients.

Neither Napier nor I understand anyone
saying that about us, can we, Nappy?

All our clients
are such awfully decent people.

Public school, of course. We do think
that makes such a difference.

'This madam would appear
to be the most appalling snob.'

Napier was at Lawnhurst,
Mr Rumpole.

Down for it from birth.
Weren't you, Nappy?

The governor put me
down for Lawnhurst at birth.

Mr Napier Lee, Mrs Lorraine Lee,

it is very pleasant
to be sitting here over a cup of tea,

discussing the merits
of the public-school system,

but you have been charged
with obtaining money by threats,

and from a very distinguished
gentleman by the name of...

- Please, Mr Rumpole.
- No need to name names, is there?

(Mrs Lee)
Not with a man in his position.

He was at Lawnhurst,
then New College, Oxford,

the Guards
and now the Foreign Office.

The... gentleman in question,
it would appear,

paid your gas bills from time to time.

When business was slack.
I'm not denying it. He helped us out.

Did you threaten to publish
his little secret, if he didn't?

Oh, no!

He knew we'd never do that.
Didn't he, Nappy?

He knew. He was in my house.

- Your disorderly house?
- My house at Lawnhurst, sir.

Ah, yes.

It would have been sneaking.
One does not sneak.

It's against the code.

That's all we have to tell you.

No, no. Please.

There is something else
you can tell me. Please sit down.

How on earth
did you get into this business?

I mean, looking at you,
a small twinset and cardigan shop

in Cheltenham Spa
would seem more appropriate.

Napier had a bit of bad luck in the City.

Like my father before me.

Also, his health wasn't up to it,
after the war.

Ticker a bit dicky, don't you know,

after playing a long innings
against brother Bosch.

Napier has a dicky ticker.

Back in Civvy Street,
I happened to run into old...

Nappy!

We discussed the possibilities
of a business,

like the one we've been running.

A friendly house.
For the very nicest type of customer.

The kind that Nappy got to know
on the old-boy net.

He very decently came up
with a spot of capital.

I see. This helpful person was a friend
you'd known for some time?

Yes.
An old mate, you understand, from...

Ah, ah, ah.

From way back.

We'd drifted apart a bit over the years.

Was he perhaps an old school friend?

Napier couldn't possibly tell you
a thing like that.

- Ah, against the code?
- That's right. Against the code.

Like wearing suede shoes
with a dark suit, what?

Oh...

Yes. I didn't go to Lawnhurst.

My public school was a poorly run
penal colony on the Norfolk coast.

(Nasal accent) The only code
I got there was a code of the dose!

Yes, we at Linklaters never got to know
the really top people.

Yes, Mr Rumpole. We know.

Nappy looked you up,
and we're both terribly sorry.

Conference over. Night.

Mr Rumpole,
I had your wife on the phone, sir.

She Who Must Be Obeyed.
Did she want to speak to me?

She wanted to speak to me
on the subject of snacks.

Snacks?

You know, sausage rolls,
little cheesy bits, she said, sir.

I told her we'd have no party
until after the meeting.

Then we'd be able to welcome
our new Head of Chambers.

Head of Chambers! She Who Must Be
Obeyed has set her heart upon it.

She will not take "no" for an answer.
Do you follow me?

Yes, Mr Rumpole, I follow you.

- It's Rumpole, isn't it?
- A piece of him.

Ballard. Sam Ballard.
I'm leading in Lee for the Crown.

Ah.

'Not a terribly cheering prospect.

'This character might have passed
as reasonably good-Iooking.

'When he was alive.'

I passed Chambers this morning.

In fact,
I dropped something in your tray.

Really?
I can't say I noticed, Bollard.

- Ballard.
- Oh, Ballard. Sorry.

About a meeting
of lawyers as churchgoers.

Can you join us?
We should value your contribution.

Ah, well, my doctor has warned me
against all undue excitement.

This get-together of yours

may place considerable strain
on the old ticker.

Henry warned me about you.
He said you had a sense of humour.

Oh, only a mild one, Bollard.
Nothing fatal.

Have you managed to keep free of it?
What do you do? Jog a lot, I imagine.

(Giggles) Some of our keenest
members scoffed at the outset.

Really? Well, I never!

I certainly hope
that this little prosecution

will be conducted
in a thoroughly Christian spirit.

You can rely on me for that.

I hope to see a certain reluctance
on your part

about casting the first stone.

Decent men, family men, men who had
earned the respect of the community

and were placed in positions of trust,

found themselves
tempted by this house,

66, Barnadine Square, Victoria.

Men left that house,
members of the Jury,

with their consciences burdened with
guilt, and their wallets lightened.

Among the many respectable figures

that fell victim to the temptations
of 66, Barnadine Square...

'Among the many respectable
figures? Who, I wonder?

'Doctors? Politicians?
Police officers? Lawyers?

'Judges?

'Oh, I must ask my clients.

'They'd never tell me.
Far too discreet. Against the code.

'The thought is too good to be true.

'A bull in a knocking shop.'

Over the door of 66, Barnadine Square

was that which Dante
chose for his inferno.

"Abandon hope, all ye..."

He's wasting his time,
this fellow Bollard.

The Bull probably thinks

that Dante is somebody who does
conjuring tricks on television.

...find out the fly was trapped.
He couldn't get away.

If he was a man who enjoyed
important position in public life,

he would pay anything you may think

to buy the silence
of this brazen woman

and her procuring husband.

What did he say?

I think the gentleman
is talking about us, Nappy.

I looked him up. Marlborough.

Then I wonder they didn't teach
him better manners.

...in bringing this couple to justice.
Thank you.

My Lord,
I will call my first witness.

Please do, Mr Ballard.

Who is it, old love?
Don't be coy about it.

They're ready for you, sir.

I swear by Almighty God
the evidence I shall give

shall be the truth, the whole truth
and nothing but the truth.

Name, please.

My Lord, I would make the usual
application in a blackmail case.

I would ask the witness
be known simply as Mr X,

and that Your Lordship
should direct the press

not to repeat the name
under any circumstances.

That seems a very proper order,
in view of this gentleman's position.

You have no objection, Mr Rumpole?

I do object. Yes, My Lord.

British justice is meant
to take place in public,

and the ladies and gentlemen
of the press have a right

to report the witnesses' names.

There is an exception to this rule
in blackmail cases, as you well know.

In that case, I would have no objection,

provided a similar concession
had been made

for the benefit of my clients.

My Lord. My Lord, we should continue
with this in the absence of the Jury,

- if there is to be an argument.
- You can bet your shirt there will be.

Very well.

Members of the Jury!

Members of the Jury,

legal matters arise from time to time
that have to be resolved.

Would you go to your room?

We shan't have to detain you long.

Mr Rumpole,
did I hear an unusual argument

with regard to the defendants?

That they should be known
as Mr and Mrs Y.

Why not?

My learned friend has talked
about embarrassment.

Mr and Mrs Lee have been plastered
over the front pages

of every newspaper
in the United Kingdom!

"Darby and Joan house of shame."

"Charged with being top
people's madam," and so forth.

They've had to submit to a barrage
of prejudicial publicity,

while their client can creep into court
under a letter of the alphabet,

and preserve
his precious respectability intact.

Mr Rumpole, there is no charge
against this gentleman.

He is innocent of any crime.

So are my clients innocent.
Innocent until proven guilty.

Or doesn't that rule apply
in Your Lordship's court?

Rumpole, this court is entitled
to some respect!

I have so much respect for this court

that I give it the credit
for applying the law of England.

Unless that's been changed.
I merely ask for information.

Your application
that your clients' name

should not be published is refused.

The case may be reported in full
as far as they are concerned.

They'll be delighted to contribute

to the entertainment
of the great British breakfast.

If Your Lordship pleases.

(Judge) Now, Mr Ballard.

I suppose your argument would be that

if this witness's secrets
were exposed to the public,

then, in effect, the blackmail threat
would have been successful.

- That is your argument?
- It is now you've told him.

Yes, it is, My Lord. Your Lordship
puts it so much better than I can.

'Soapy Sam Ballard,

'your religious beliefs don't prevent
a little grovelling on occasion.'

It's nearly one o'clock, but I will
give judgement on this point now,

so the witness may enjoy his lunch
with a degree of peace of mind.

Oh, how nice!

The defendants,
through their counsel,

seem particularly anxious

this gentleman's patronage
of their house of ill repute

- should become widely known.
- (Mouthing)

If that were allowed,
it would be a blackmailer's charter.

No victim would ever dare
to go to the police.

I am determined that this witness's
high reputation shall be protected.

He will give his evidence
to the jury as Mr X after lunch.

Coming, Miss Allways?

That was absolutely splendid,
Mr Rumpole.

Your fight for press freedom.

I thought I was rather
shot down in flames.

The judge really wants
a protection society for the punters.

- Bye bye, Fifi.
- See you. Bye.

- Who's that?
- Isobel Vincent.

She was a prefect when I was at
Benenden. I hero-worshipped her.

Do girls have an old-boy network, too?

Isobel works for Home Counties News,
tremendously into Women's Liberation.

- So am I.
- You?

All for it. Especially
the liberation of Mrs Lorraine Lee.

Thank you.

I think it's unfair,
keeping his name a secret.

Oh, do you, Fiona?

Thank you. Rumpole and Miss Allways
to see Mr and Mrs Lee.

- Thank you, sir. Number three.
- Thank you.

Those places wouldn't exist
if it weren't for Mr Xs.

- I suppose you know what his name is.
- Yes. He signed his deposition.

- So you could tell anybody.
- Ah!

Contempt of court
is a silent exercise, Fiona,

like meditation.

- I've never been to the cells before.
- Have you not?

For me, the cells have become
a sort of home from home.

We don't want his name splashed
all over the papers, Mr Rumpole.

We wouldn't want that.

(Mr Lee) Damn painful,
a man in his position.

The old-boy net.

He sneaked on you!
Why not return the compliment?

Whatever he's done,
we've got to do the decent thing.

We think
the judge is a perfect gentleman.

What?

- Don't we, Nappy?
- Absolutely.

He didn't want the poor fellow's name
all over the papers.

(Mrs Lee)
It would be terribly embarrassing.

It would be terribly embarrassing,
Mrs Lorraine Lee,

if you and your husband spent
five years in prison for blackmail.

What about me? You may be snug
as a bug in the nick.

I cannot afford to lose cases
at this point in my career.

I am about to be elevated
to high office.

- Why just gas?
- What?

You used a lot of gas
at Barnadine Square?

No, not particularly. The bills
used to lie out on the hall table.

He offered to pay one or two,
out of kindness, really.

Yes. He used to give us a little cheque.

A cheque?

In a house of ill repute, a cheque?

Mr X is either very naive or...

Or what?

Yes, indeed. Or what? I don't know.

We may never have
a chance to find out.

We don't like it being called
a house of ill repute, Mr Rumpole.

That isn't nice.
We call it a friendly house.

(Inaudible)

Hello, Ballard. I enjoyed the sermon.

Did you, Rumpole?

Haven't had so much fun

since the school parson
gave us 45 minutes of hellfire.

You... You always eat here, do you?

Yes, of course.
Don't you use the Bar mess?

As a matter of fact,
I prefer the pub across the road.

More chance of rubbing shoulders
with a few respectable criminals.

Awful lot of barristers here.

You must take me
to your pub sometime.

We should get rather
better acquainted.

I might drop in
on one of your churchgoers' meeting.

- Really?
- Oh, yes.

I think there's a great deal
to be said for introducing

more Christian spirit into the law.

- I'm so glad you think so.
- Oh, I do, I do.

As I understand it,
"There's more joy in heaven,

"if one sinner repenteth,"
all that sort of thing.

All that sort of thing, yes.

If two sinners repenteth
to the tune of pleading guilty

to keeping a disorderly house,

wilt thou not drop
the blackmailing charge, old cock?

No!

No.

They could get five years
for blackmail.

Keeping a disorderly house
is a mere six months.

Is that the reason behind your appeal
to Christian principles?

You have a cynical attitude
for a churchgoer.

Blessed are the blackmailers for they
shall have no stain on their characters.

Is that your version
of the Sermon on the Mount?

"Prisons are built
with stones of law.

"Brothels with bricks of religion."

That's William Blake.
The William Blake version.

I'll give you another quotation.

"For I come not to call the righteous
but the sinners to repentance."

Matthew 9. Verse 13.

You rely heavily on the scriptures.

You really must join us at LAC.

My old father was a cleric.

I'll tell you something.
He hated Bible classes.

The judge will be back soon.

Five years.
They'd really get five years?

You know what we want in this case,
Fiona, old lad? A witness or two.

A witness who knows something
about Mr X.

Who will come galloping to our aid
while no one knows who the hell he is?

(Rumpole)
You won't mind me calling you Mr X?

- No.
- Thought you wouldn't.

How long were you an habituary
of this house of ill repute?

Mr Rumpole, does that make
the slightest difference?

Please answer, unless My Lord
rules against it on a point of law.

I'd been visiting for five years.

Five years. On your way home
from directing the nation's affairs...

- Mr Rumpole.
- Yes, very well.

On your way home from work,

before you got lost in the bosom
of your family,

it was your practice
to pop into 66, Barnadine Square?

Yes.

Tell me, how did you find out
about this place?

- Find out about it?
- Gossip at the club, was it?

Or perhaps an advertisement
in "The Times" personal columns?

(Laughter)

- I heard about it from an old friend.
- An old friend.

Was it by any chance
someone you knew at school?

I'd known him nearly all my life.

- You had kept up with him?
- No.

We met again after many years.

- Where?
- In a public house.

- In the Victoria area?
- Near there.

How long ago was this meeting
in a pub in Victoria?

- About five years ago.
- Five years ago.

The old school friend in question
wasn't by any chance

Mr Napier Lee,
defendant in this case?

'First rule of cross-examination: Never
ask unless you know the answer.'

- Yes.
- Speak up, Mr X.

Yes, My Lord. It was Mr Napier Lee.

'A miracle!
How did I get God on my side? '

- What did he tell you?
- He told me that he'd been ill.

He said he had a house
near Victoria station,

and he and his wife
were starting a business there.

- A business in agreeable ladies?
- Yes.

Did you offer to put some capital
into that business?

The court had kept your name secret,
because you're so respectable.

Are you not in fact
an investor in a bawdyhouse?

- The witness should be warned.
- I do know my job, Mr Ballard.

You are not bound to answer
questions that might incriminate you.

Now, do you wish to answer
Mr Rumpole's question,

or would you rather not?

I would prefer not to.

You would prefer not to.

So you had an arrangement with
Mr and Mrs Lee over five years.

They had five years to blackmail you,
if they wanted to.

I suppose so.

Yet there wasn't the slightest
suggestion until six months ago?

That is right.

When you say you were asked by them

to pay a couple of trivial gas bills.

Bills for �145.00 and �137.53.

And you paid these bills
for the Lees by cheque?

- Yes.
- Why?

Because
as I have told you, Mr Rumpole,

they threatened to tell my employers
about my visits unless I did so.

I don't mean that.
Why did you pay by cheque?

Oh, I don't know exactly.

Did you ever pay by cheque when
you visited on previous occasions?

- No.
- Always in cash?

- Of course.
- Yes.

You did not want your name left in
connection with the Lees' business.

On the occasion of this alleged
blackmail, you did want a record.

I told you, I don't know why I paid
by cheque. Those occasions...

Was it because you needed evidence

on which to base this allegation
of blackmail against my clients?

No! Well, I suppose
I just didn't think about it.

Thank you, Mr X.

Mr X, when you paid in cash,

I presume you paid the girls
in the establishment?

Yes, My Lord.

Did it strike you as a different matter

when you were paying the gas bills
for them?

- Yes, My Lord.
- But you saw no particular harm

in paying that great public authority
by cheque?

No harm at all.

No! We'll rise now.

10:30 tomorrow morning,
members of the Jury.

(Rumpole sighs)

Well, Rumpole, how did it go?

I suppose it could be described
as a nightmare.

- You mean it's not going well?
- Well?

We have a prosecutor
who wears a hair shirt,

and seems to have done
his pupillage under the Inquisition.

The mad Bull is madder than ever.

Our chief witness
has this in common with Lohengrin -

no one must ever ask him his name.

My clients think it's
in the best public-school tradition

to be found guilty of blackmail.

There we all are,
down the Old Bailey.

"Rolled round
in earth's diurnal course

"With rocks and stone and trees."

It's giving me a headache.

I mean in Chambers, Rumpole.

The Headship. Is it going to be ours?

You have a remarkable
legal ambition, Hilda.

Sorry I can't bring you
the Lord Chief Justice's chain of office,

with a bottle of
Ch�teau de Plonkenheim.

- Not the Lord Chancellor.
- He'll be very relieved to hear it.

Just Head of Daddy's old Chambers.
There's no one more senior than you?

No one longer in bottle
as a legal hack, no.

- And no silks?
- No. Not so far.

Erskine-Brown's application
doesn't come up

until after the Chambers' meeting.

Then it's in the bag.

Fear nothing, Hilda. As far as I'm
concerned, your election is assured.

Dodo's agreed to help out at the party.
She does all sorts of dips.

Oh, damned versatile, Dodo.
She paints, too, doesn't she?

Oh, look, it's Ms Thing.

'There have been revelations in the
Top People's Disorderly House case.

'Home Counties News can reveal
that Mr X

'is the senior civil servant

'at the Foreign Office,
Sir Cuthbert Pericles.

'He is only one of the men
highly placed in public life

'who are believed
to have visited the house.

'This is Isobel Vincent,
Home Counties News... '

- My God.
- Whatever's the matter, Rumpole?

You're nearest the window. Did you
hear a noise coming from Kensington?

What sort of noise?

His Honour, Judge Bullingham,
blowing up!

Almost 50 years of experience
at the Bar and on the Bench,

I have never known

a more flagrant, wicked
and inexcusable contempt of court!

The order of this court was clear.

- How long will it take him?
- I told him 10:30.

- He's late.
- I promised we'd call him first.

We'll call him first, all right.

But the contempt here
was committed by a person

who is neither a gentleman
nor from the press.

The person is female
and from television.

Any person
who has been in this court,

any person at all
who had a hand in this matter,

they will be sort out and punished.

I will send the papers to
the Director of Public Prosecutions.

Bernie, look for him.
The Bull's running out of steam.

...what action shall be taken against this
most foolish, wicked young woman.

- Mr Lucas?
- Yes.

I'm Bernard. Could we have a moment
to check over what you've told me?

Yes.

Now, when did you say
this meeting first took place?

Ladies and gentlemen of the Jury,

in opening for the defence,
it is my duty to outline

the evidence that we shall be calling.
I will be calling a witness...

'I hope to God I'll call a witness.'

...who may be able to penetrate
the pall of secrecy

that has fallen over this case,

who may have the bad manners
and the rotten taste

to actually tell us the truth
about the evidence...

...who may be able to penetrate
for us the old-boy net...

Ladies and gentlemen of the Jury,
I will now call...

- Who?
- Mr Stephen Lucas.

Simon...

- Stephen!
- Stephen Lucas.

Very well, Mr Rumpole.

Take the book in your right hand
and repeat the oath from the card.

...the evidence I shall give
shall be the truth,

the whole truth
and nothing but the truth.

Mr Stephen Lucas,

you are a member of
the Foreign Office Legal Department?

Yes, I am.

Do you know the witness we call Mr X?

I have asked him to come back
to court so that you may identify him.

- Yes, I do.
- Is he a friend of yours?

We meet in the Foreign Office,
of course.

I know him fairly well
and over a long period.

Yes, of course.

Do you remember lunching with him
a year ago at his club

- and was that at his invitation?
- Yes, it was.

What did you discuss?
Do you remember?

A number of things.
The work of my department and so on.

He asked me questions
about the Contempt of Court Act.

The Contempt of Court Act.

What particular aspect of that act
was Mr X interested in?

In the court's power to order

that the name of a witness
in a blackmail case

should be kept secret, perhaps for ever.

I remember his observing
that, therefore,

if you wanted your name kept out
of a particular scandal,

all you would have to do would be
to accuse someone of blackmail.

I see. Mr Lucas, what made you
remember this conversation?

It was last night when I heard
Mr X's name on the television news.

I thought it might have some bearing.

You may well be right.

And you no doubt felt that it was
your public duty to come forward.

Mr Lucas, you say
that you know Mr X very well.

You didn't by any chance
go to school together?

No, I wasn't at Lawnhurst.

Thank you, Mr Lucas.

Thank the Lord he wasn't. We wouldn't
have got a word out of him.

So, so, so.

You wouldn't have given evidence, if
there hadn't been a contempt of court

and Mr X's name hadn't been
mentioned on the television news?

That's right.

I agree. It is all very unfortunate,
but what can I do about it?

I can't exclude this evidence.

No, no, no. No, My Lord.
No, but it is most unfortunate.

It is indeed,
but then the harm has been done.

'Or the good.

'It depends on which way
you look at it, old love.'

So it would seem to be clear,
ladies and gentlemen of the Jury,

that Mr X could not bring himself
to give up his visits

to the friendly house
at 66, Barnadine Square.

Yet he was terrified
that one day the place may be raided

and his name would come out
in the scandal.

So, he hit upon
this over-elaborate insurance device.

Two cheques -

sure proof that he had paid money
on the Lees' behalf -

would lay the foundation
for a trumped-up charge

which would keep his name
a secret for ever.

It was a devious plan,

cunning, complicated, expensive
and absolutely futile.

A plan that would occur to somebody
in our country's government.

And why was it futile?

Because Mr X need never have
worried. He had nothing to fear.

The Lees would never have betrayed
his pathetic little secret.

It would have been
against their code.

For it was for them,
as it never was for Mr X,

a question of morality.

Well... Six months
for the disorderly house, I'm afraid.

A first-class result
on the blackmail, Mr Rumpole.

Wasn't it, Mr Bernard? Thank you.

I just hope Custard didn't think
we sneaked on him.

He knows we'd never do
a thing like that, Nappy.

Custard? Why Custard?

His name was Cuthbert,
so we called him Custard at school.

I suppose that follows.

Well, even if Custard
didn't behave very well,

we didn't break the code.
Something to comforting us.

It won't be too bad.
They'll send you to an open prison.

When a chap's been to Lawnhurst,
prison should be a piece of cake.

You never know,
you might meet some old boys.

- I didn't go to Lawnhurst.
- By Jove, that's a point.

- (Rumpole) Yes.
- I didn't go to Roedean either.

It's boys-only where I'm going,
I suppose?

Yes, I'm afraid so. No coeducation.

I'm awfully sorry, old girl.

We're going to be separated.

Not for long, Nappy. We've had
a marvellous offer for the freehold.

Yes. Not to mention the goodwill.

It was a marvellous win.

One thing you'll have to learn very
quickly if you want to be a barrister,

keep the rules.

- I don't know what you mean.
- Don't you?

Oh, don't worry.

I don't imagine Ms Isobel Vincent
is going to reveal her sources.

She's all out for martyrdom
but you must keep the rules.

You can swear at them,
argue your way round them,

do your damnedest to change them,
but if you break them,

how the hell are you going to help
the other poor idiot in trouble?

I'll never get a place in Chambers now.

I don't know.
Perhaps you will, perhaps you won't.

There is another little cause or matter
you can help me with.

- Can I?
- Oh, yes.

The defence of Ms Vincent.

Look up the contempt-of-court cases,
why don't you?

Oh, yes. We've got to keep
the good Ms out of the nick.

I don't know about you
but martyrs make me nervous.

He will be busy
up until the middle of next week.

- Mr Rumpole.
- Yes?

- The Chambers' meeting has started.
- Meeting?

In Mr Justice Featherstone's
old room, sir.

The Judge's clerk came round
with a letter for you, sir.

A billet-doux from a judge?
How very most unusual.

(Chattering)

Bollard!

Bollard! What's going on?

Is this a prayer meeting?
What are you doing here?

Hasn't anyone told you?

Featherstone J said he'd written
as soon as you were back.

(Guthrie) 'Dear old Horace, old boy,

'just a brief note
to introduce Sam Ballard,

'who was in fact, my fag master
at Marlborough.

'Sam came to me looking
for a London home.

'AII the others agreed.
As you were off in the jungle,

'we knew you'd have no objection.

'Someone will have to take over
as Head of Chambers

'as I'm detained
during Her Majesty's pleasure,

'and Sam Ballard
is clearly a likely candidate.

'Marigold joins me in sending all
our best wishes to you and Hilda.'

- Glad you could make it, Rumpole.
- Are you?

We thought Bullingham
might have put you in chokey

on contempt of court!

Oh, Erskine-Brown, you're so amusing!

Yes. Well, now
we're all assembled, perhaps...

"Dearly beloved brethren..."

Let's decide who will approach
the Inn as the Head of Chambers.

Speaking for myself, I have been
in these Chambers for many years.

- Not half as long as Rumpole.
- Thank you, Uncle Tom.

Rumpole's been here since the year
dot, as far as I can remember...

Although I haven't yet been able to put
on the knee breeches and silk gown,

my application
is in the Lord Chancellor's office.

There will be no difficulty.

There's many
a slip 'twixt knee breeches and hip.

What is it? Has Rumpole made a joke?

Of course,
I'm a complete newcomer here.

Yes. They just dropped you in
with today's "Times".

Whoever heads these Chambers
will, I hope,

take the position seriously.

"Here endeth the first lesson."

It's also important
that whoever heads us

should be a barrister
entirely sans rapproche.

Oh, absolument, Claude.

We must cherish our high reputation.

It would be most unfortunate if we had
a Head who could possibly

be even accused of sharp practice.

Just what do you mean by that?

Now, now, now, now, now.

There shouldn't be any speculation

arising out of the recent case
at the Old Bailey.

Though it is true. A question
of contempt of court did arise.

- You're delighted to say.
- That issue still has to be decided.

There has been no finding
as to how the information was leaked.

One hopes, of course,
the information was not leaked

by any member
of the legal profession.

So I think we should put
the regrettable matter

of a flagrant contempt of court
out of our minds

for the purposes of this decision.

Wouldn't you agree that that is fair?

'Oh, soapy Sam, how very clever.

'What can I say? '

Well, now, Rumpole,
as an old member of this set...

Of course he's old.
Rumpole can't help being old.

(Ballard) Yes.
Have you anything to say?

'... why sentence of death
should not be passed against me.'

Only this.

I would just like to remind you all
of the claims of someone

who has been associated
with these Chambers

for far longer than any of you,

who grew up in these fly-blown rooms

and on this dusty staircase,

who has never aspired to silk,
nor to judicial office,

nor even to appearing
before the Uxbridge magistrates,

but someone whose whole ambition

is centred on that meaningless title,

Head of Chambers.

What's Rumpole talking about?

He means himself.

No, Erskine-Brown. I do not mean me.

(Sings)

(Door closes)

Is that you, Rumpole?

Er, yes, Hilda.

Has it been decided yet, hmm?

Er... well, not finally.

But in principle. It has been decided
in principle, hasn't it?

Well, they're having
the Chambers' party

on the 29th.

They'll announce their decision then.

Look, Hilda,
I really wouldn't bother going.

They can be pretty grizzly occasions.

This won't be grizzly, Rumpole.
It will be a triumph!

Nothing on earth
is going to keep me away!

(Sings)

Those are cheese and oniony.

Those are the sausage arrangements,
if that's what you prefer.

Of course, I shall be running
these parties now.

Marigold Featherstone
was a sweet person,

but I don't think she had
a great interest in the canap�s.

That's a little prawny
sort of vol au vent arrangement.

Frightfully light, isn't it?

I do want these parties
to be a success for Rumpole.

(Henry) Everybody, Uncle Tom!

Oh, yes. Thank you.

It falls to me as the oldest in Chambers
to do the honours here tonight.

- Uncle Tom!
- Mrs Rumpole?

Oh, no, carry on, Uncle Tom.

Yes. I was going to.

I remember 3, Equity Court
many years ago

when dear old C H Wystan
was Head of Chambers.

- Uncle Tom remembers Daddy!
- Exactly.

Horace Rumpole and I used
to wait for work in the clerk's room.

Plus �a change.

I used to while away the time

practising chip shots
with a mashie niblick.

My one legal ambition
was to get my balls

into the wastepaper basket.

Fiona!

Then the present Mr Justice
Featherstone came to head us.

Of course, at the time,

he was plain Guthrie Featherstone,
albeit QC, MP.

Now a new chapter
opens in our history.

- Hear! Hear!
- Thank you.

The man I'll introduce
as our new Head of Chambers,

voted on by a comfortable majority,
I may say,

is a man well known and respected

not only in legal circles,
but in the church.

Rumpole?

He is a man deeply concerned
with the problems of morality.

I had dinner with old Tuppy Thompson,

ex-canon of the Southwark Cathedral,
and he said to me,

"A little bird told me
about your new Head of Chambers."

"You've got a sound man there,"
he said.

"One who walketh
in the ways of righteousness,

"yea even through the valley
of the Central Criminal Court."

The ways of righteousness!

They ought to see him at breakfast
when he's in a bad temper!

Not much righteousness then!

So ladies and gentlemen,

I ask you to raise a glass
to our new Head of Chambers.

I give you our dear old Chambers,
3, Equity Court,

coupled with the name...

- Rumpole.
- Of Sam Ballard.

One of Her Majesty's Counsel.
Long may he reign over us.

(AII cheer)

Amen.

You never told me.

No, Hilda. I funked it.

Passed over again.

Never mind, old girl.
It's not the end of the world.

You're still
a wonderful advocate, Hilda,

terrific in argument.

You're a failure, Rumpole.

Well, let's have another
slurp of bubbly, shall we?

Why not drink to failure?

After all,
champagne tastes just as good.

He's eating all
of Dodo's little cheesy bits!

Oh! The cheek of it!

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