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1
00:00:02,280 --> 00:00:03,547
- Hey...
- Hey, whoa.
2
00:00:03,548 --> 00:00:04,915
Snazzy getup, Aud.
3
00:00:04,916 --> 00:00:06,917
Thank you. I've decided
to get back into running.
4
00:00:06,918 --> 00:00:08,252
And buying outfits
5
00:00:08,253 --> 00:00:10,988
that make you look
like you're from the future.
6
00:00:10,989 --> 00:00:12,689
I am from the future.
7
00:00:12,690 --> 00:00:15,225
Guess what.
I'm single.
8
00:00:15,226 --> 00:00:18,695
Fine. I'll be dating
a bunch of sexy robots.
9
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,936
It's a good thing
that you, uh, ripped the tags
10
00:00:25,937 --> 00:00:27,104
off that new outfit.
11
00:00:27,105 --> 00:00:28,739
Wouldn't want
to be able to return it
12
00:00:28,740 --> 00:00:30,641
after you give up.
13
00:00:30,642 --> 00:00:32,176
I'm not gonna give up.
14
00:00:32,177 --> 00:00:33,193
I'm as committed to running
15
00:00:33,194 --> 00:00:36,346
as you are to clogging
your arteries.
16
00:00:36,347 --> 00:00:39,183
I doubt it.
17
00:00:40,919 --> 00:00:42,853
Well...
Well, if you'll excuse me,
18
00:00:42,854 --> 00:00:44,721
I have to, uh, get
to the office.
19
00:00:44,722 --> 00:00:48,592
Now that you're not working,
I have to try.
20
00:00:51,262 --> 00:00:52,696
He's so stressed out
about money,
21
00:00:52,697 --> 00:00:54,932
but, of course,
he's too manly to admit it.
22
00:00:54,933 --> 00:00:56,500
Jennifer is the same way.
23
00:00:56,501 --> 00:01:00,237
Why don't they know
it's okay to open up?
24
00:01:00,238 --> 00:01:04,541
Dopey, bashful, busty.
25
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:07,044
Sir, isn't that the same
outfit you were wearing--
26
00:01:07,045 --> 00:01:11,348
when you opened
for the Doobie Brothers?
27
00:01:11,349 --> 00:01:14,184
I was going to say,
"last night."
28
00:01:14,185 --> 00:01:17,087
It is indeed the same outfit
I wore last night,
29
00:01:17,088 --> 00:01:18,655
because I had an away game.
30
00:01:18,656 --> 00:01:19,756
Hmm.
31
00:01:19,757 --> 00:01:21,058
Now, is this the end of it,
32
00:01:21,059 --> 00:01:22,826
or should I prepare
for yet another woman
33
00:01:22,827 --> 00:01:24,595
storming into your office
to deliver
34
00:01:24,596 --> 00:01:29,133
a Who's afraid of Virginiawoolf style tirade?
35
00:01:29,134 --> 00:01:31,335
"Virginia woolf"?
36
00:01:31,336 --> 00:01:34,571
No, Timmy,
it's the big, bad wolf.
37
00:01:36,541 --> 00:01:40,344
No, Mr. Rhodes,
I was actually...
38
00:01:40,345 --> 00:01:42,579
Thank you.
39
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:45,182
Anyway, Heather's great.
She's sweet and funny.
40
00:01:45,183 --> 00:01:49,253
We laugh. We talk.
We kissed on the mouth.
41
00:01:49,254 --> 00:01:50,954
Oh, sounds like
you really like this girl.
42
00:01:50,955 --> 00:01:52,289
I do,
and it's not just physical.
43
00:01:52,290 --> 00:01:54,224
I like hanging out with her.
44
00:01:54,225 --> 00:01:56,960
- How'd you guys leave things?
- I don't know. I snuck out.
45
00:01:56,961 --> 00:01:58,195
Why?
46
00:01:58,196 --> 00:01:59,763
Habit, I guess.
47
00:01:59,764 --> 00:02:02,466
Open eyes,
back of chick's head,
48
00:02:02,467 --> 00:02:06,937
not my apartment,
skedoodle.
49
00:02:06,938 --> 00:02:09,139
- Yeah, you should go back.
- Can you go back, though?
50
00:02:09,140 --> 00:02:11,441
Can you un-skedoodle?
51
00:02:11,442 --> 00:02:13,610
Yeah, yeah, if you
really like her, why not?
52
00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:15,546
Yeah, I do.
All right, I'm going back.
53
00:02:15,547 --> 00:02:16,880
- Good.
- Ugh.
54
00:02:16,881 --> 00:02:19,082
It's like running over
a bunny with your car
55
00:02:19,083 --> 00:02:21,852
and then getting out
and shooting it.
56
00:02:25,417 --> 00:02:28,452
♪ How many ways
to say I love you? ♪
57
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:35,057
♪ how many ways to say
that I'm not scared ♪
58
00:02:35,269 --> 00:02:37,537
♪ with you by my side ♪
59
00:02:37,951 --> 00:02:40,586
♪ there is no denying ♪
60
00:02:40,603 --> 00:02:43,049
♪ that I can't wait
for me and you ♪
61
00:02:43,149 --> 00:02:47,149
62
00:02:47,184 --> 00:02:50,184
63
00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:51,247
[elevator bell dings]
64
00:02:51,248 --> 00:02:53,516
- Oh, hey, Jeff.
- Hey, Dan, what's up?
65
00:02:53,517 --> 00:02:55,284
I'm collecting
for Janet's baby gift.
66
00:02:55,285 --> 00:02:56,535
Didn't I already
kick in for that?
67
00:02:56,536 --> 00:02:58,788
No, that was
Janet's baby-shower gift.
68
00:02:58,789 --> 00:03:00,906
Ah.
69
00:03:00,907 --> 00:03:02,691
Of course.
Well, I'm surprised
70
00:03:02,692 --> 00:03:04,226
I wasn't asked
to kick in for the booze
71
00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:06,662
her husband used
when he knocked her up.
72
00:03:08,932 --> 00:03:12,735
I mean, why don't you
just bend me over, Janet?
73
00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:17,740
Yeah, maybe don't sign
the card.
74
00:03:17,741 --> 00:03:19,258
Oh, oh, and it's
Todd's birthday today.
75
00:03:19,259 --> 00:03:20,910
I'm collecting for a cake.
76
00:03:20,911 --> 00:03:23,179
Ooh, a cake?
77
00:03:23,180 --> 00:03:27,249
Is Todd turning nine?
78
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,651
Here's a little extra.
79
00:03:28,652 --> 00:03:31,887
Why don't you get him
a bounce house too?
80
00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:36,258
[Knock at door]
81
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:38,778
- Hey.
- Russell, where did you go?
82
00:03:38,779 --> 00:03:40,112
I ran out to get you this.
83
00:03:40,113 --> 00:03:43,699
It's like you--soft,
delicious, and low in fat.
84
00:03:45,068 --> 00:03:47,002
So I thought we could hang out
this morning.
85
00:03:47,003 --> 00:03:49,488
Oh, that sounds great.
I'd love to.
86
00:03:49,489 --> 00:03:51,707
Wait.
I'm getting a text.
87
00:03:51,708 --> 00:03:55,611
Oh, shoot.
I've got to run into the office.
88
00:03:55,612 --> 00:03:58,280
Oh, I understand.
Want to get lunch?
89
00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,648
I wish I could,
90
00:03:59,649 --> 00:04:01,667
but I'm stacked up all day
with work stuff.
91
00:04:01,668 --> 00:04:05,221
Oh, message received.
Dinner?
92
00:04:05,222 --> 00:04:07,656
- Dinner. It's a plan.
- Okay.
93
00:04:07,657 --> 00:04:10,459
Wait, I have a weekly
work meeting Wednesday nights.
94
00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:11,727
Ooh, well,
tonight's Thursday.
95
00:04:11,728 --> 00:04:13,395
Oh, Wednesday and Thursday
96
00:04:13,396 --> 00:04:14,830
are my two worst nights.
97
00:04:14,831 --> 00:04:16,866
I've got work functions
on both of them.
98
00:04:16,867 --> 00:04:18,534
Oh, well, you couldn't have
had one last night,
99
00:04:18,535 --> 00:04:20,202
'cause we were together.
It was before that.
100
00:04:20,203 --> 00:04:21,670
Anyway, I better
go get ready to leave,
101
00:04:21,671 --> 00:04:23,105
but I have your number,
102
00:04:23,106 --> 00:04:25,040
so I'll call you when things
get a little less hectic.
103
00:04:25,041 --> 00:04:29,211
She said
she's gonna call me.
104
00:04:29,212 --> 00:04:32,448
So that's what
you took away from all that.
105
00:04:32,449 --> 00:04:34,850
It's not what I took away.
That's what she said.
106
00:04:34,851 --> 00:04:36,952
She's gonna call me.
I see.
107
00:04:36,953 --> 00:04:40,189
Wow.
Um, the thing is...
108
00:04:40,190 --> 00:04:41,824
I'm not quite sure
how to put this...
109
00:04:41,825 --> 00:04:45,160
I-I-I think what Timmy's
trying to say is...
110
00:04:45,161 --> 00:04:46,829
Congratulations, man.
111
00:04:46,830 --> 00:04:48,564
It sounds like
she's really into you.
112
00:04:48,565 --> 00:04:51,000
That's right.
Yeah.
113
00:04:54,504 --> 00:04:57,506
[Knock at door]
Yo, Jeff.
114
00:04:57,507 --> 00:04:59,341
The raffle tickets are in.
115
00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:01,076
Time to pay the piper.
116
00:05:01,077 --> 00:05:04,213
Which raffle tickets?
What piper?
117
00:05:04,214 --> 00:05:06,782
My lodge's charity raffle,
remember?
118
00:05:06,783 --> 00:05:08,050
50 bucks a ticket--
119
00:05:08,051 --> 00:05:09,885
grand prize
is a Volkswagen Jetta.
120
00:05:09,886 --> 00:05:10,920
You said you'd buy a ticket.
121
00:05:10,921 --> 00:05:14,290
Well, I've changed my mind.
122
00:05:14,291 --> 00:05:16,559
So you don't want
to buy one?
123
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:19,194
No, Detective, I don't.
124
00:05:19,195 --> 00:05:20,496
Come on.
125
00:05:20,497 --> 00:05:22,264
Everyone else in the office
bought a ticket.
126
00:05:22,265 --> 00:05:25,234
What is this--
socialist Canada?
127
00:05:25,235 --> 00:05:28,137
Actually,
I don't think Canada is...
128
00:05:28,138 --> 00:05:29,738
Look, look, I have just...
129
00:05:29,739 --> 00:05:33,208
I've had enough of having
everyone's hands in my pocket.
130
00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:35,544
In fact, you know what?
131
00:05:35,545 --> 00:05:38,047
That's it.
132
00:05:41,585 --> 00:05:42,902
Excuse me.
133
00:05:42,903 --> 00:05:45,588
Can I have
everyone's attention?
134
00:05:45,589 --> 00:05:47,690
I am sick of you parasites
135
00:05:47,691 --> 00:05:50,192
asking me
to contribute, donate,
136
00:05:50,193 --> 00:05:53,729
or kick in
to every charity raffle
137
00:05:53,730 --> 00:05:56,365
or stupid event
in your pathetic lives.
138
00:05:56,366 --> 00:05:59,301
I'm out!
139
00:06:01,204 --> 00:06:04,773
Happy Birthday, Todd.
140
00:06:07,577 --> 00:06:09,945
Really? Right in the middle
of Todd's party?
141
00:06:09,946 --> 00:06:11,146
Yeah, I just snapped.
142
00:06:11,147 --> 00:06:12,948
Everyone was pretty shocked.
143
00:06:12,949 --> 00:06:17,052
It didn't help when I took
the first piece of cake.
144
00:06:17,053 --> 00:06:18,454
Hey, look, Jeff,
145
00:06:18,455 --> 00:06:20,723
Audrey thinks you're really
stressed out about money.
146
00:06:20,724 --> 00:06:22,458
Why don't you
talk to her about it?
147
00:06:22,459 --> 00:06:23,659
Nah, that's not
how I do things.
148
00:06:23,660 --> 00:06:25,995
I, uh, believe that a man
provides for his woman
149
00:06:25,996 --> 00:06:28,464
without ever complaining
or showing stress,
150
00:06:28,465 --> 00:06:31,433
all the while
silently resenting her for it.
151
00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:33,452
Cool. Cool, cool.
152
00:06:33,453 --> 00:06:36,672
Okay, well,
I should take off.
153
00:06:36,673 --> 00:06:39,141
- Hey.
- Hey.
154
00:06:39,142 --> 00:06:41,677
Hey. I just got back
from running with Kate.
155
00:06:41,678 --> 00:06:43,679
Guess what.
I hate this game.
156
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,448
You never appreciate
my guesses.
157
00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:48,634
She's doing
a 10k charity fun run,
158
00:06:48,635 --> 00:06:50,252
and I decided to sign up.
159
00:06:50,253 --> 00:06:51,353
Is it topless?
160
00:06:51,354 --> 00:06:54,840
'Cause that would be
a real fun run.
161
00:06:54,841 --> 00:06:56,792
"Are you sure
you can't do better?"
162
00:06:56,793 --> 00:06:58,344
All my friends said.
163
00:06:58,345 --> 00:07:01,296
Yes, I'm sure.
164
00:07:01,297 --> 00:07:03,649
All right, well,
good for you and Kate.
165
00:07:03,650 --> 00:07:05,901
Tomorrow I'm gonna bring this
pledge sheet to your office
166
00:07:05,902 --> 00:07:08,671
and get all your coworkers
to donate money.
167
00:07:11,358 --> 00:07:12,641
Coworkers?
168
00:07:12,642 --> 00:07:14,943
I don't think
that's a-a good idea.
169
00:07:14,944 --> 00:07:16,996
Why? I'm raising money
for a good cause.
170
00:07:16,997 --> 00:07:18,280
Oh, come on.
171
00:07:18,281 --> 00:07:20,382
Look, if they were gonna find
a cure for this disease,
172
00:07:20,383 --> 00:07:24,086
uh, wouldn't they have found
one already?
173
00:07:24,087 --> 00:07:26,855
It's for an animal shelter.
174
00:07:26,856 --> 00:07:29,224
Still.
175
00:07:30,877 --> 00:07:33,345
Why the sudden
anti-charity stance?
176
00:07:33,346 --> 00:07:35,163
Look, I...
177
00:07:35,164 --> 00:07:38,050
I just don't think
that the people in my office
178
00:07:38,051 --> 00:07:40,836
are very generous.
179
00:07:40,837 --> 00:07:44,940
Well,
it can't hurt to ask.
180
00:07:44,941 --> 00:07:46,675
Fine.
181
00:07:46,676 --> 00:07:49,578
If you're gonna be
stubborn about this,
182
00:07:49,579 --> 00:07:52,147
I'll take care of it.
183
00:07:59,622 --> 00:08:02,524
[Sighs] I can't believe
Heather hasn't called me yet.
184
00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:03,892
I know.
185
00:08:03,893 --> 00:08:07,129
Maybe my phone's broken.
Give me a call.
186
00:08:10,366 --> 00:08:11,967
[Cell phone rings]
187
00:08:11,968 --> 00:08:14,636
Heather?
188
00:08:14,637 --> 00:08:16,605
Babe?
189
00:08:16,606 --> 00:08:18,107
Hello?
190
00:08:18,108 --> 00:08:19,475
No, sir, it's me.
191
00:08:19,476 --> 00:08:23,212
Well, quit tying up the line.
She might be trying to call me.
192
00:08:23,213 --> 00:08:26,281
Man, she--
she must be super busy.
193
00:08:26,282 --> 00:08:28,350
Busy sanding off
her fingerprints
194
00:08:28,351 --> 00:08:31,553
and changing her identity.
195
00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:33,422
Oh, hey, dude,
why don't you just call her?
196
00:08:33,423 --> 00:08:34,923
She forgot
to give me her number.
197
00:08:34,924 --> 00:08:35,991
- Ugh.
- Oh.
198
00:08:35,992 --> 00:08:37,826
But I know where she works.
199
00:08:37,827 --> 00:08:41,630
Sir, I really don't think
calling her is a good idea.
200
00:08:41,631 --> 00:08:43,065
Timmy...
201
00:08:43,066 --> 00:08:47,069
Poor, sweet,
fancy, stupid Timmy.
202
00:08:47,070 --> 00:08:49,605
You're jealous.
203
00:08:49,606 --> 00:08:51,423
Why in the world
would I be jealous?
204
00:08:51,424 --> 00:08:53,408
Because I have
this great relationship
205
00:08:53,409 --> 00:08:54,610
and you just got
your ass dumped
206
00:08:54,611 --> 00:08:57,679
by that squeaky garden rake
from accounting.
207
00:08:57,680 --> 00:08:58,981
She didn't dump me.
208
00:08:58,982 --> 00:09:00,349
She moved to Chicago,
209
00:09:00,350 --> 00:09:02,250
and we're trying to work
things out long distance.
210
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:05,087
Oh, I hope you do.
She seems like a sweetheart.
211
00:09:05,088 --> 00:09:06,455
Hey, let him call her.
212
00:09:06,456 --> 00:09:09,091
Let him get a taste
of his own sleazy medicine,
213
00:09:09,092 --> 00:09:10,726
like he gives every girl
he blows off.
214
00:09:10,727 --> 00:09:12,194
It makes me sick.
215
00:09:12,195 --> 00:09:16,331
See, Audrey thinks
I should call.
216
00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:21,103
My, you really only hear
what you want to hear.
217
00:09:21,104 --> 00:09:23,989
Thanks.
I've been working out.
218
00:09:26,242 --> 00:09:28,343
Hey, is Heather there?
219
00:09:28,344 --> 00:09:30,612
This is so exciting.
220
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:32,280
Heather, it's Russell.
221
00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:34,683
Yeah, hey, I was just
thinking this week we could...
222
00:09:34,684 --> 00:09:35,951
Uh...
223
00:09:35,952 --> 00:09:37,686
Uh, what's that?
224
00:09:37,687 --> 00:09:39,922
Really?
225
00:09:39,923 --> 00:09:43,458
Well, yeah,
you should be there for her.
226
00:09:43,459 --> 00:09:45,160
Sure, well, give me a call
when you get back.
227
00:09:45,161 --> 00:09:47,563
Okay.
228
00:09:47,564 --> 00:09:48,997
Shows what you know.
229
00:09:48,998 --> 00:09:50,399
She was just about to call me,
230
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:54,319
but she had to rush off to visit
her sick aunt in Nova Scotia.
231
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,104
Oh.
232
00:09:56,105 --> 00:09:58,574
Man, you are having
the worst luck with her.
233
00:09:58,575 --> 00:10:00,943
It's crazy.
234
00:10:00,944 --> 00:10:02,978
Really?
Just bad luck?
235
00:10:02,979 --> 00:10:05,514
You see no subtext
in Heather's conveyance?
236
00:10:05,515 --> 00:10:08,650
I don't see subtext
in anything.
237
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:11,486
This is like
a classic romantic comedy.
238
00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:12,888
- It sure feels that way.
- Yes.
239
00:10:12,889 --> 00:10:14,189
All you have to do now
240
00:10:14,190 --> 00:10:15,657
is get over
some of these obstacles,
241
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,793
and you guys can be together.
It'll be perfect, yes.
242
00:10:17,794 --> 00:10:18,861
It's gonna be amazing.
243
00:10:18,862 --> 00:10:21,630
Here you go. Look who
stepped up for his wife.
244
00:10:21,631 --> 00:10:24,299
Whoa. Everyone in your office
made a pledge.
245
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:26,068
Oh, and look.
246
00:10:26,069 --> 00:10:29,721
There's even one
from "Holden McGroin."
247
00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:36,712
Yeah, that was me.
248
00:10:36,713 --> 00:10:39,214
Hilarious.
249
00:10:39,215 --> 00:10:40,682
Well, that's great.
250
00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:42,351
And you didn't think
they were generous.
251
00:10:42,352 --> 00:10:44,686
All of them came through.
Thank them for me.
252
00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:47,155
Well, except
for Holden McGroin.
253
00:10:47,156 --> 00:10:48,857
He went away
for the weekend with, uh...
254
00:10:48,858 --> 00:10:52,761
I know.
His wife, Pat.
255
00:10:52,762 --> 00:10:55,931
Pat McGroin.
256
00:10:55,932 --> 00:10:57,966
Hey, man, how'd you get
all those people to pledge?
257
00:10:57,967 --> 00:10:59,935
Did you apologize
for your big speech?
258
00:10:59,936 --> 00:11:03,839
No, I just signed
everybody up myself.
259
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,908
Yeah, well, what happens
when it's time to collect?
260
00:11:05,909 --> 00:11:08,043
I'll just pay
the 150 bucks myself.
261
00:11:08,044 --> 00:11:10,445
[Clears throat]
Um, Mr. Bingham?
262
00:11:10,446 --> 00:11:14,750
Yes, guy who looks like a math
T.A. at every college ever.
263
00:11:16,986 --> 00:11:19,688
These pledges
are per kilometer,
264
00:11:19,689 --> 00:11:23,158
which means that when
Mrs. Bingham completes her 10k,
265
00:11:23,159 --> 00:11:25,794
you'll, in fact, owe $1,500.
266
00:11:25,795 --> 00:11:28,096
Ooh.
267
00:11:28,097 --> 00:11:31,667
Guess it's not surprising
how fast I calculated that.
268
00:11:33,303 --> 00:11:36,071
I'll take care of this.
This is man's work.
269
00:11:36,072 --> 00:11:37,739
Got to get the old
jaws of life
270
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,042
to pry open
that checkbook of yours.
271
00:11:40,043 --> 00:11:43,312
Unless Audrey
never makes it to the race.
272
00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:49,584
I think Jeff's
gonna kill Audrey.
273
00:11:59,914 --> 00:12:02,533
Hey, Timmy, I want you
to make reservations for me
274
00:12:02,534 --> 00:12:04,485
at a romantic restaurant
every night
275
00:12:04,486 --> 00:12:07,187
for the next several weeks.
276
00:12:07,188 --> 00:12:09,790
Oh, I'm so glad to see
that you and Mr. Rhodes
277
00:12:09,791 --> 00:12:11,792
are taking it
to the next level.
278
00:12:11,793 --> 00:12:13,294
It's not for us.
279
00:12:13,295 --> 00:12:15,162
I want to be ready
for when Heather comes back.
280
00:12:15,163 --> 00:12:16,330
Oh, you know what?
281
00:12:16,331 --> 00:12:19,433
Let's make it
a Nova Scotian restaurant.
282
00:12:20,902 --> 00:12:23,070
Sir, you're making
a big mistake.
283
00:12:23,071 --> 00:12:26,440
Uh, he might be right.
284
00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:28,509
After being up there,
Nova Scotian cuisine
285
00:12:28,510 --> 00:12:30,711
may be the last thing
she wants.
286
00:12:30,712 --> 00:12:33,347
- Ah, good call. Smart.
- Thank you. Thank you.
287
00:12:33,348 --> 00:12:35,382
All right, let's just take
a step back, shall we?
288
00:12:35,383 --> 00:12:38,118
You just called
Mr. Rhodes smart.
289
00:12:38,119 --> 00:12:39,119
That's not a red flag
290
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,921
that your judgment
might be impaired?
291
00:12:40,922 --> 00:12:42,723
Listen,
I'm on team Adam here.
292
00:12:42,724 --> 00:12:45,659
I think Heather and I were made
for each other.
293
00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:47,895
Okay, look, I was hoping
you would come to your senses,
294
00:12:47,896 --> 00:12:50,097
but you leave me no choice.
295
00:12:52,033 --> 00:12:53,801
Heather's Facebook page.
296
00:12:53,802 --> 00:12:56,637
Her profile says
she's in a relationship,
297
00:12:56,638 --> 00:12:59,740
and her status says she's at
this New York City restaurant
298
00:12:59,741 --> 00:13:03,243
with this very handsome man
at this very moment.
299
00:13:05,196 --> 00:13:08,549
Do you know what this means?
300
00:13:08,550 --> 00:13:10,317
I do.
301
00:13:10,318 --> 00:13:14,088
She's back in town, dude.
302
00:13:14,089 --> 00:13:17,157
And she's at McSweeney's
with one of her gay buddies.
303
00:13:17,158 --> 00:13:20,160
And she's listed us
as being in a relationship.
304
00:13:20,161 --> 00:13:22,229
All right,
I'm gonna go surprise her.
305
00:13:22,230 --> 00:13:23,630
That is a great idea.
306
00:13:23,631 --> 00:13:26,400
- Come with me.
- I'm coming.
307
00:13:32,140 --> 00:13:34,675
Hey, Jeff, I need to get up
early for the fun run.
308
00:13:34,676 --> 00:13:37,144
Can you set the alarm
for 6:15?
309
00:13:37,145 --> 00:13:40,748
Already did.
310
00:13:40,749 --> 00:13:43,851
Hey, what you got to do
before a big race?
311
00:13:43,852 --> 00:13:45,069
Hydrate.
312
00:13:45,070 --> 00:13:47,588
[Chuckles]
Good idea.
313
00:13:47,589 --> 00:13:50,724
Finish it.
314
00:13:50,725 --> 00:13:52,893
That a girl.
315
00:13:57,432 --> 00:14:01,668
You know,
just to be on the safe side,
316
00:14:01,669 --> 00:14:04,705
[clears throat]
I'm gonna take one of these.
317
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:08,308
Take one of what?
318
00:14:08,309 --> 00:14:12,012
Your sleeping pills.
319
00:14:12,013 --> 00:14:14,848
Oh, I-I wouldn't.
320
00:14:14,849 --> 00:14:16,550
I already did.
321
00:14:16,551 --> 00:14:19,386
Oh.
322
00:14:19,387 --> 00:14:22,356
This way, I'll be good
and rested for the race.
323
00:14:22,357 --> 00:14:25,442
See you tomorrow.
324
00:14:25,443 --> 00:14:27,528
Or the next day.
325
00:14:38,006 --> 00:14:40,274
Sir, stop.
326
00:14:40,275 --> 00:14:42,109
What are you doing here?
327
00:14:42,110 --> 00:14:44,511
I can't let you go
through with this.
328
00:14:44,512 --> 00:14:46,663
Oh, I know what's going on.
329
00:14:46,664 --> 00:14:49,500
You're worried that if I get
in a serious relationship,
330
00:14:49,501 --> 00:14:53,253
it's gonna hurt
the friendship we have.
331
00:14:53,254 --> 00:14:56,523
Do you have a backup guess?
332
00:14:56,524 --> 00:14:58,125
I implore you to think back.
333
00:14:58,126 --> 00:15:00,010
Everything Heather
has said and done
334
00:15:00,011 --> 00:15:04,498
constitutes
a classic blow-off.
335
00:15:04,499 --> 00:15:06,400
Oh, shoot.
336
00:15:06,401 --> 00:15:09,303
I've got to run
into the office.
337
00:15:09,304 --> 00:15:11,155
She was just
about to call me,
338
00:15:11,156 --> 00:15:12,739
but then she had
to suddenly rush out
339
00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:14,975
and visit her sick aunt
in Nova Scotia.
340
00:15:14,976 --> 00:15:17,277
Wow.
I just called Heather,
341
00:15:17,278 --> 00:15:19,146
and a woman
who sounds just like her
342
00:15:19,147 --> 00:15:21,181
answered and said she found
Heather's phone.
343
00:15:21,182 --> 00:15:22,483
I'm very sorry, sir.
344
00:15:22,484 --> 00:15:24,384
Don't feel sorry for me.
Feel sorry for Heather.
345
00:15:24,385 --> 00:15:26,420
She's the one stuck up
in Nova Scotia with no phone.
346
00:15:26,421 --> 00:15:28,121
Ugh.
347
00:15:28,122 --> 00:15:29,957
These are all
evasive maneuvers
348
00:15:29,958 --> 00:15:32,860
that you yourself
have used on women.
349
00:15:32,861 --> 00:15:34,228
Sir, Heather's
using the technique
350
00:15:34,229 --> 00:15:39,633
that you refer to
as "the old hump and dump."
351
00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:41,535
[Sighs]
352
00:15:41,536 --> 00:15:45,272
I think I've been "Russelled."
353
00:15:45,273 --> 00:15:47,608
[Groans]
354
00:15:47,609 --> 00:15:50,394
You know, on some level,
I think I knew,
355
00:15:50,395 --> 00:15:53,914
but I liked her so much, I just
didn't want to believe it.
356
00:15:53,915 --> 00:15:55,549
We've all been there, sir.
357
00:15:55,550 --> 00:15:56,717
Oh, yeah, you got dumped
358
00:15:56,718 --> 00:16:00,387
by that four-eyed javelin
from accounting.
359
00:16:00,388 --> 00:16:02,089
Anyway, you were right.
I guess I owe you--
360
00:16:02,090 --> 00:16:04,591
Russell?
361
00:16:04,592 --> 00:16:06,560
I'm so glad you're here.
362
00:16:06,561 --> 00:16:07,728
You are?
363
00:16:07,729 --> 00:16:10,797
Of course.
364
00:16:10,798 --> 00:16:12,366
Wow.
I thought you were going--
365
00:16:12,367 --> 00:16:14,134
- to Nova Scotia.
- I was.
366
00:16:14,135 --> 00:16:16,603
But I didn't have to,
because my sick aunt got better.
367
00:16:16,604 --> 00:16:18,205
Oh, well, that's great.
368
00:16:18,206 --> 00:16:20,774
And I wanted to call you,
but I lost my phone.
369
00:16:20,775 --> 00:16:23,977
I was so upset, so my friend
Gordon took me out for a drink.
370
00:16:23,978 --> 00:16:27,848
Hi.
371
00:16:27,849 --> 00:16:29,733
His boyfriend's out of town.
372
00:16:29,734 --> 00:16:32,569
So it's just us gals.
373
00:16:32,570 --> 00:16:35,289
- How did you know to come here?
- Your Facebook page.
374
00:16:35,290 --> 00:16:39,593
Oh. Is it okay I said
we were in a relationship?
375
00:16:39,594 --> 00:16:41,094
Is that dress red?
376
00:16:41,095 --> 00:16:44,081
Look, you two
don't need me chaperoning.
377
00:16:44,082 --> 00:16:45,599
Gordon out...
378
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,734
As if it wasn't obvious.
379
00:16:49,637 --> 00:16:53,340
Um, all right, I'll come over
in one second, all right?
380
00:16:57,095 --> 00:16:59,513
Ah.
381
00:17:01,549 --> 00:17:04,618
Wow, I guess it's me
who owes you an apology.
382
00:17:04,619 --> 00:17:06,920
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
383
00:17:06,921 --> 00:17:09,923
Timmy, I just hope one day
you won't be so cynical,
384
00:17:09,924 --> 00:17:13,226
and you can open
your heart to romance.
385
00:17:13,227 --> 00:17:16,863
[Whistling]
386
00:17:18,149 --> 00:17:19,266
Hello.
387
00:17:19,267 --> 00:17:21,735
Oh, my gosh.
Oh...
388
00:17:21,736 --> 00:17:23,637
[Softly]
These are so beautiful.
389
00:17:30,712 --> 00:17:33,246
Aud.
390
00:17:33,247 --> 00:17:35,549
Aud.
391
00:17:37,785 --> 00:17:39,953
[Snorts]
392
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:54,635
[Gasps]
393
00:19:27,195 --> 00:19:29,229
So you slept
through the fun run?
394
00:19:29,230 --> 00:19:32,132
Can you believe it?
395
00:19:33,234 --> 00:19:35,836
Right through my alarm.
396
00:19:35,837 --> 00:19:38,305
But I had the weirdest dream
that I did run it.
397
00:19:38,306 --> 00:19:39,539
It was so real.
398
00:19:39,540 --> 00:19:43,376
But not real enough to collect
money from my coworkers.
399
00:19:43,377 --> 00:19:46,630
Well, anyways, the gang
at the office will be bummed.
400
00:19:46,631 --> 00:19:49,349
They live to give.
401
00:19:49,350 --> 00:19:50,917
Well,
tell them not to worry.
402
00:19:50,918 --> 00:19:53,420
I wrote a check
to cover all their pledges.
403
00:19:53,421 --> 00:19:55,322
Did you, now?
404
00:19:55,323 --> 00:19:58,258
For, uh, all $1,500?
405
00:19:58,259 --> 00:20:00,026
Yeah.
Just 'cause I overslept,
406
00:20:00,027 --> 00:20:01,895
the charity shouldn't suffer.
407
00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:04,597
I'm gonna go mail this.
408
00:20:06,267 --> 00:20:11,037
You're silently resenting her
right now, aren't you?
409
00:20:11,038 --> 00:20:12,639
I am.
410
00:20:18,302 --> 00:20:20,136
[Sighs]
411
00:20:20,137 --> 00:20:22,705
Good morning, Heather.
412
00:20:22,706 --> 00:20:25,241
I have a feeling
that every morning with you
413
00:20:25,242 --> 00:20:27,644
will be a good one.
414
00:20:35,653 --> 00:20:38,688
"Russell,
sorry I had to sneak out,
415
00:20:38,689 --> 00:20:40,189
"but my National Guard unit
416
00:20:40,190 --> 00:20:43,893
"was called into duty
this morning.
417
00:20:43,894 --> 00:20:46,829
"I can't tell you where I'll be
or when I'll be back,
418
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:49,699
but I'll give you a call
when I return."
419
00:20:58,308 --> 00:21:01,678
420
00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:06,278
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