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1
00:00:01,074 --> 00:00:03,742
[alarm beeping]
ah...
2
00:00:03,743 --> 00:00:06,430
Ten more minutes.
Nice.
3
00:00:06,431 --> 00:00:09,201
[alarm beeping]
4
00:00:09,202 --> 00:00:11,333
Ah...
Ten more minutes.
5
00:00:11,334 --> 00:00:14,432
[high-pitched voice]
sweet!
6
00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:22,959
[alarm beeping, stopping]
7
00:00:26,300 --> 00:00:27,606
[alarm beeping]
8
00:00:27,607 --> 00:00:29,779
Rise and shine, lazy.
Let's go.
9
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:32,780
10
00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:36,691
♪ how many ways to say
I love you? ♪
11
00:00:38,498 --> 00:00:43,205
♪ how many ways to say
that I'm not scared? ♪
12
00:00:43,206 --> 00:00:45,577
♪ with you by my side ♪
13
00:00:45,578 --> 00:00:48,182
♪ there is no denying ♪
14
00:00:48,183 --> 00:00:51,920
♪ I can't wait
for me and you ♪
15
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:56,026
♪ there is no denying ♪
16
00:00:56,061 --> 00:00:59,066
17
00:00:59,619 --> 00:01:01,022
And I was only nine,
18
00:01:01,123 --> 00:01:04,192
But I knew it was the last time
that I would spend with her.
19
00:01:04,193 --> 00:01:06,628
So I held back my tears,
20
00:01:06,629 --> 00:01:09,198
And I took her tiny paw
in my hand,
21
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:11,133
And I said, "Sprinkles--"
22
00:01:11,134 --> 00:01:13,136
[stifled yawn]
23
00:01:13,137 --> 00:01:15,938
I said, "Sprinkles,
you are my best--"
24
00:01:15,939 --> 00:01:16,940
[yawns]
25
00:01:16,941 --> 00:01:18,408
Really, Audrey?
26
00:01:18,409 --> 00:01:20,476
Sorry.
Don't apologize.
27
00:01:20,477 --> 00:01:23,112
You said what
we were all thinking.
28
00:01:23,113 --> 00:01:25,148
No, go ahead, Jen.
Finish your story.
29
00:01:25,149 --> 00:01:28,385
She died, the end, whatever.
30
00:01:28,386 --> 00:01:29,953
No, babe,
it's not your story.
31
00:01:29,954 --> 00:01:32,356
I'm just--I'm really tired,
thanks to you.
32
00:01:32,357 --> 00:01:33,591
Oh, yeah?
33
00:01:33,592 --> 00:01:36,128
The old guy managed to crank up
his rig last night?
34
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:39,631
How would you like
to go meet Sprinkles?
35
00:01:39,632 --> 00:01:41,166
Please continue.
36
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:43,469
Jeff likes to set the alarm
way before he has to get up,
37
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:45,338
And then he hits the snooze
over and over,
38
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:46,640
And I can never get back
to sleep.
39
00:01:46,641 --> 00:01:48,108
It's a great feeling
when I wake up
40
00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:50,344
And realize
I got ten more minutes.
41
00:01:50,345 --> 00:01:51,679
It's not a great feeling.
42
00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:54,215
It happened to me three times
during her dead-cat story.
43
00:01:54,216 --> 00:01:57,085
Smell you later, losers.
44
00:01:57,086 --> 00:02:00,690
When you do that,
I can't get back to sleep.
45
00:02:00,691 --> 00:02:01,891
Can't you just set the alarm
46
00:02:01,892 --> 00:02:03,660
For when you actually have
to get up?
47
00:02:03,661 --> 00:02:06,830
I wouldn't get
the extra bonus sleep.
48
00:02:06,831 --> 00:02:08,765
No, you'd get
the same amount.
49
00:02:08,766 --> 00:02:11,434
Yes, but I wouldn't know it.
50
00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:14,337
I get that.
Stay out of this.
51
00:02:14,338 --> 00:02:15,905
But I-I'm supporting you.
52
00:02:15,906 --> 00:02:18,341
Still.
53
00:02:18,342 --> 00:02:19,642
Who controls your alarm?
54
00:02:19,643 --> 00:02:21,978
Well, it varies.
How's that?
55
00:02:21,979 --> 00:02:23,346
Well, we don't have
set sides of the bed.
56
00:02:23,347 --> 00:02:25,347
Yeah, we sort of
lie down wherever.
57
00:02:25,348 --> 00:02:27,582
What are you,
farm animals?
58
00:02:27,583 --> 00:02:29,851
God, what do you care?
59
00:02:29,852 --> 00:02:32,019
Couples have set sides
of the bed.
60
00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:34,155
Come on,
to each their own, Jeff.
61
00:02:34,156 --> 00:02:35,556
Absolutely not.
62
00:02:35,557 --> 00:02:37,524
Please, walk me through this.
63
00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:38,692
You get ready for bed.
64
00:02:38,693 --> 00:02:41,328
You put your sweats on,
whatever...
65
00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,896
No, actually,
we sleep naked.
66
00:02:42,897 --> 00:02:44,864
I'm sorry, what?
67
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:47,100
Totally naked...
68
00:02:47,101 --> 00:02:49,202
Except for a pair
of moisturizing gloves.
69
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:52,439
Oh, do those work?
I don't know. Ask Adam.
70
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,674
Oh, I'm good.
71
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,944
So there's no barrier
between your business
72
00:02:56,945 --> 00:02:59,113
And your bed?
Correct.
73
00:02:59,114 --> 00:03:03,384
So your sheets become
a giant pair of underpants?
74
00:03:03,385 --> 00:03:04,985
What do you care
what we do?
75
00:03:04,986 --> 00:03:06,253
Just stay out of this!
76
00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:08,489
But this is my thing!
Whatever!
77
00:03:08,490 --> 00:03:11,259
No sides, no clothes,
no rules--
78
00:03:11,260 --> 00:03:13,594
Basically your bedroom
is Thunderdome.
79
00:03:13,595 --> 00:03:15,763
Thunderdome,
like that movie?
80
00:03:15,764 --> 00:03:16,931
Like, 100 years ago?
81
00:03:16,932 --> 00:03:20,568
Whatever.
Filthy, naked hippies.
82
00:03:20,569 --> 00:03:22,904
Would you leave them alone.
83
00:03:22,905 --> 00:03:25,506
Fine, but you know what?
This isn't over.
84
00:03:25,507 --> 00:03:28,609
How is it not over?
85
00:03:28,610 --> 00:03:30,745
Your burger
is really undercooked.
86
00:03:30,746 --> 00:03:32,046
No, it's fine.
87
00:03:32,047 --> 00:03:34,415
No, babe, it's raw.
Just send it back.
88
00:03:34,416 --> 00:03:36,016
Oh, and risk
upsetting the waitress?
89
00:03:36,017 --> 00:03:37,451
Adam would never do anything
90
00:03:37,452 --> 00:03:38,986
That would make someone
not like him.
91
00:03:38,987 --> 00:03:40,922
It still happens, though.
92
00:03:45,461 --> 00:03:48,397
Timmy, get in here.
93
00:03:50,467 --> 00:03:51,634
Yes, sir?
94
00:03:51,635 --> 00:03:53,402
What are all these people
lining up for?
95
00:03:53,403 --> 00:03:56,372
Ooh, is there a concert?
I want to see it.
96
00:03:56,373 --> 00:03:58,507
Is it food?
I want to eat it.
97
00:03:58,508 --> 00:03:59,776
Is it an author
I don't know
98
00:03:59,777 --> 00:04:01,144
Signing some book
I've never heard of?
99
00:04:01,145 --> 00:04:02,813
I got to get a copy.
100
00:04:02,814 --> 00:04:05,549
Sir, calm down.
101
00:04:05,550 --> 00:04:07,485
Why, are they calming down?
102
00:04:07,486 --> 00:04:08,919
I believe
they're waiting in line
103
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,055
To purchase the latest version
of the newest must-have phone.
104
00:04:11,056 --> 00:04:13,190
Ooh, I must have it.
105
00:04:13,191 --> 00:04:15,159
Very well, I'll put it
on my to-do list, sir.
106
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:16,761
No, no, no.
Go get in line right now.
107
00:04:16,762 --> 00:04:18,195
I want it now.
108
00:04:18,196 --> 00:04:20,864
Sir, the phone doesn't go
on sale until tomorrow morning.
109
00:04:20,865 --> 00:04:22,165
While you were
mouthing off,
110
00:04:22,166 --> 00:04:24,101
Two more people just
got in line.
111
00:04:24,102 --> 00:04:26,903
You actually want me to stand
out there over night?
112
00:04:26,904 --> 00:04:29,072
Well, I'm afraid I can't.
My uncle is in town, and--
113
00:04:29,073 --> 00:04:30,306
Oh, okay, oh--
114
00:04:30,307 --> 00:04:33,443
No, let me just call Galileo,
tell him he was wrong.
115
00:04:33,444 --> 00:04:37,646
Apparently all the planets
revolve around Timmy.
116
00:04:37,647 --> 00:04:41,049
You should actually be calling
Copernicus, sir,
117
00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:43,284
Because it was he
who first postulated--
118
00:04:43,285 --> 00:04:46,788
Stop! Raping my ears
with your words.
119
00:04:46,789 --> 00:04:49,790
Now let's go get me
that phone.
120
00:04:49,791 --> 00:04:51,192
But--but--
butt, butt...
121
00:04:51,193 --> 00:04:53,027
What are butts for?
122
00:04:55,664 --> 00:04:58,132
Butts are for pooping.
123
00:04:58,133 --> 00:05:00,501
That's right.
124
00:05:02,905 --> 00:05:04,005
I'm just saying,
125
00:05:04,006 --> 00:05:06,741
Enough with all these
sexy vampire shows.
126
00:05:06,742 --> 00:05:09,877
Am I right,
or am I right?
127
00:05:09,878 --> 00:05:12,146
What are you doing?
128
00:05:12,147 --> 00:05:14,715
I just felt like sleeping
on this side tonight.
129
00:05:14,716 --> 00:05:16,116
You can't.
That's my side.
130
00:05:16,117 --> 00:05:17,351
[chuckles]
131
00:05:17,352 --> 00:05:19,787
Look, I was thinking--
Adam and Jen are right.
132
00:05:19,788 --> 00:05:21,722
Why do we have
to have sides?
133
00:05:21,723 --> 00:05:24,391
Plus, this way I get to control
the alarm clock for a change.
134
00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:26,093
Oh, you want to be more
like Adam and Jen.
135
00:05:26,094 --> 00:05:27,694
Fine.
Well, let's sleep naked too.
136
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:30,397
Let our loose parts
flop all over the place.
137
00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:34,200
I just want to get
a full night's sleep for once.
138
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,870
Our sides of the bed
are locked in.
139
00:05:36,871 --> 00:05:37,938
You throw out the rules,
140
00:05:37,939 --> 00:05:41,075
Next thing you know,
it's Thunderdome.
141
00:05:41,076 --> 00:05:43,977
You really need to stop
watching that dvd.
142
00:05:43,978 --> 00:05:46,680
Look, I'm just saying...
143
00:05:46,681 --> 00:05:48,949
We don't need another hero.
144
00:05:48,950 --> 00:05:51,785
[laughing]
come on.
145
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:53,153
You're the one
who's always saying
146
00:05:53,154 --> 00:05:54,854
You want to shake things up
in the bedroom.
147
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,389
Yeah, like, maybe
watch some porn
148
00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:59,324
Or invite your friend
Sheila over.
149
00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:03,595
Oh, just get in bed.
150
00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:06,163
Fyi, Sheila just
got engaged.
151
00:06:06,164 --> 00:06:07,431
Oh...
152
00:06:07,432 --> 00:06:12,637
Oh, yeah, 'cause before that,
it was a possibility.
153
00:06:12,638 --> 00:06:14,972
I know that
you're being sarcastic,
154
00:06:14,973 --> 00:06:18,142
But later, when I relive
that conversation,
155
00:06:18,143 --> 00:06:20,644
You won't be.
156
00:06:20,645 --> 00:06:22,646
There's not even
an indentation here.
157
00:06:22,647 --> 00:06:26,417
Well, there is over here
in body hair canyon.
158
00:06:26,418 --> 00:06:28,219
What, are you molting?
159
00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:31,022
All you got over here
is "sudoko."
160
00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:33,425
You know how I feel
about "sudoko."
161
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:35,394
Yes, you feel like
an idiot
162
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,363
'cause you don't know
how to pronounce it.
163
00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:38,698
Here...
164
00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:42,635
Skim this fitness
and retain nothing.
165
00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:49,542
The light's hitting it
all funny.
166
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:52,778
There's a draft over here.
167
00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:54,614
I am much further
from the bathroom.
168
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,015
That's gonna throw off
my timing.
169
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,283
Oh, god.
170
00:06:58,284 --> 00:07:01,586
[laughing]
you are such a baby.
171
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,221
Just go to sleep.
172
00:07:03,222 --> 00:07:07,526
I am looking forward to
waking up rested and refreshed.
173
00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:12,999
[clatter]
174
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,200
What was that?
175
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:17,203
I just groped the phone
instead of your boob.
176
00:07:20,542 --> 00:07:23,344
Oh, goody, you found it.
177
00:07:26,615 --> 00:07:29,249
I love these
sexy vampire shows.
178
00:07:29,250 --> 00:07:31,985
But don't tell Jeff, because
he--he doesn't like them.
179
00:07:31,986 --> 00:07:34,488
[electric guitar plays loudly]
180
00:07:34,489 --> 00:07:36,756
Oh, my god,
the guy upstairs--
181
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:38,758
It's, like, the third night
in a row.
182
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:41,126
I know.
What a bummer, huh?
183
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:44,396
Gee, I wonder which one of us
is gonna go up to talk to him.
184
00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:45,763
What's that supposed
to mean?
185
00:07:45,764 --> 00:07:47,531
Oh, come on,
you're not gonna confront him.
186
00:07:47,532 --> 00:07:50,135
He's just another uncooked
burger you're willing to eat.
187
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,137
You are wrong.
I got this.
188
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,672
I don't care
what he thinks about me.
189
00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:56,609
The gloves are coming off.
190
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:05,918
You think that's bad?
191
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:09,021
Last weekend,
my boss' kid had a bar mitzvah.
192
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:11,657
My boss made me write
all the thank-you notes.
193
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:14,293
My boss
doesn't even know my name.
194
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:16,128
He just calls me
"skidmark."
195
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,030
[scoffs]
big deal.
196
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:21,333
My boss walks behind me
and smells my hair.
197
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:24,871
Then he locks himself
in his office for 20 minutes.
198
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,239
Yeah?
Here's a list of things
199
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:27,941
My boss threw at me
just last week--
200
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:31,312
His stapler, his sandwich,
my sandwich,
201
00:08:31,313 --> 00:08:33,748
And a rock
from his zen garden.
202
00:08:33,749 --> 00:08:36,818
Oh, and he smells
my hair too.
203
00:08:36,819 --> 00:08:38,520
You win.
204
00:08:38,521 --> 00:08:42,425
You have the most awful boss
in New York City.
205
00:08:44,995 --> 00:08:46,796
Excuse me...
206
00:08:46,797 --> 00:08:49,432
If I may.
207
00:08:49,433 --> 00:08:52,368
[electric guitar playing]
208
00:08:52,369 --> 00:08:58,173
♪ ♪
209
00:08:58,174 --> 00:09:01,375
[guitar stops]
210
00:09:01,376 --> 00:09:03,611
Hey, uh, I'm Adam.
I live downstairs.
211
00:09:03,612 --> 00:09:04,711
I'm Frank.
212
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:06,513
Yeah, the thing is,
your guitar.
213
00:09:06,514 --> 00:09:08,182
What about it?
214
00:09:08,183 --> 00:09:11,820
I mean,
I think you're good.
215
00:09:11,821 --> 00:09:15,290
I mean, dude, you shred.
Thanks. Come on in.
216
00:09:15,291 --> 00:09:17,927
But the thing is...
[very loud note]
217
00:09:17,928 --> 00:09:19,262
It might be a little loud.
218
00:09:19,263 --> 00:09:20,463
Oh, man, really?
219
00:09:20,464 --> 00:09:22,132
You're not gonna be one
of those guys, are you?
220
00:09:22,133 --> 00:09:25,369
Okay, here's the deal.
Yeah?
221
00:09:25,370 --> 00:09:29,873
It's not me.
It's my fiancee, you know.
222
00:09:29,874 --> 00:09:31,208
She's trying to watch
this show.
223
00:09:31,209 --> 00:09:33,310
It's one of those
romantic vampire shows.
224
00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:36,846
Oh, I hate those.
Yeah, me too.
225
00:09:36,847 --> 00:09:38,314
So you're doing this
for your lady, huh?
226
00:09:38,315 --> 00:09:40,449
Yeah, you get that, right?
Totally.
227
00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:41,617
Women, huh?
228
00:09:41,618 --> 00:09:44,286
Yeah, I feel you, bro.
I'll unplug.
229
00:09:44,287 --> 00:09:47,489
Hey, thanks a lot, man.
No worries, man, I get it.
230
00:09:47,490 --> 00:09:50,425
I've had my share
of psycho girlfriends.
231
00:09:50,426 --> 00:09:52,928
Well, I mean, I really
wouldn't call mine psycho...
232
00:09:52,929 --> 00:09:55,731
[chuckles]
at least not to her face.
233
00:09:59,704 --> 00:10:00,804
I smell...
234
00:10:00,805 --> 00:10:01,905
Lavender?
235
00:10:01,906 --> 00:10:04,274
Oh, yeah, I was just..
236
00:10:04,275 --> 00:10:07,544
You know,
punching some candles.
237
00:10:09,046 --> 00:10:12,415
And because Mr. Dunbar's arms
are so short,
238
00:10:12,416 --> 00:10:16,719
Guess who had to apply
the ointment for him?
239
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,188
Directly on his--
240
00:10:19,189 --> 00:10:22,959
Every...Four...Hours.
241
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:26,829
That is
absolutely horrifying.
242
00:10:26,830 --> 00:10:30,366
Now, let me tell you
what my second day was like.
243
00:10:32,803 --> 00:10:34,137
Huh?
244
00:10:34,138 --> 00:10:38,173
Anyone else's business
you want me all up in?
245
00:10:38,174 --> 00:10:40,376
What did you say to him?
246
00:10:40,377 --> 00:10:43,378
I just got in his face,
laid down the law.
247
00:10:43,379 --> 00:10:46,182
I'm impressed.
You stood up for your lady.
248
00:10:46,183 --> 00:10:47,383
Hell, yeah, I did.
249
00:10:47,384 --> 00:10:51,387
Hmm, so do you want
to finish watching
250
00:10:51,388 --> 00:10:54,057
Your vampire show...
251
00:10:54,058 --> 00:10:56,326
Or maybe...?
252
00:10:56,327 --> 00:10:59,230
Definitely "or maybe."
253
00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:05,637
But my--my vampire show still--
it's recording, right?
254
00:11:10,509 --> 00:11:11,943
[alarm beeping]
255
00:11:11,944 --> 00:11:16,214
!
My god, my eye!
256
00:11:18,350 --> 00:11:20,184
Again...
[sighs]
257
00:11:20,185 --> 00:11:23,555
I am really, really sorry.
258
00:11:23,556 --> 00:11:25,256
Okay, Jeff.
259
00:11:25,257 --> 00:11:27,959
How long do I have to keep
this thing on, doctor?
260
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,327
Just one or two days.
261
00:11:29,328 --> 00:11:32,096
Long enough
for the cornea to heal.
262
00:11:32,097 --> 00:11:36,000
And will she still be able
to plunder doubloons?
263
00:11:36,001 --> 00:11:39,270
That's the follow-up
to your big apology?
264
00:11:39,271 --> 00:11:43,340
Take it easy,
Tom Cruise in Valkyrie.
265
00:11:45,977 --> 00:11:49,446
Enough, all right?
My eye hurts when I roll it.
266
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:51,482
Oh, take these.
267
00:11:51,483 --> 00:11:54,184
Uh, they're pretty powerful.
They might put you to sleep.
268
00:11:54,185 --> 00:11:58,022
Hmm. Or Jen can trot out
that dead-cat story again.
269
00:11:58,023 --> 00:11:59,223
Thank you.
270
00:11:59,224 --> 00:12:01,424
You know,
it doesn't look so bad.
271
00:12:01,425 --> 00:12:04,561
Um, nobody'll notice if you
let me draw an eyeball on it.
272
00:12:04,562 --> 00:12:07,263
Jeff, you're not drawing
an eyeball on it.
273
00:12:07,264 --> 00:12:10,000
You're right. It would
probably scare the parrot.
274
00:12:10,935 --> 00:12:12,936
I'm sorry.
I feel bad.
275
00:12:12,937 --> 00:12:15,839
And it's not even
my fault.
276
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:18,442
Wha--
277
00:12:18,443 --> 00:12:21,612
In what way is your giant,
meaty paw
278
00:12:21,613 --> 00:12:23,813
Smacking me in the face
not your fault?
279
00:12:23,814 --> 00:12:26,349
You're the one who wanted
to switch sides of the bed.
280
00:12:26,350 --> 00:12:28,217
I didn't want to hit you
in the face.
281
00:12:28,218 --> 00:12:30,887
It was just force of habit.
282
00:12:32,722 --> 00:12:36,091
All I wanted
was one little thing.
283
00:12:36,092 --> 00:12:38,126
I know, but lookit,
I told you it was a bad idea.
284
00:12:38,127 --> 00:12:40,661
I warned you,
but you just wouldn't listen.
285
00:12:40,662 --> 00:12:42,830
I know.
286
00:12:44,399 --> 00:12:46,700
I know, I know, I know.
287
00:12:46,701 --> 00:12:48,369
I just should have
known better.
288
00:12:48,370 --> 00:12:49,837
Well, don't beat yourself up.
289
00:12:49,838 --> 00:12:53,675
No, I'll leave that
to you.
290
00:12:53,676 --> 00:12:56,244
Boy, those meds
are making you mouthy.
291
00:13:10,822 --> 00:13:14,724
Check it out--
I just swiped some jell-o.
292
00:13:19,897 --> 00:13:21,332
I'm not hungry.
293
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:24,335
I was hoping
you'd say that.
294
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,373
Those painkillers kick in yet?
How you feeling?
295
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,208
Mm, I feel good.
296
00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:33,545
[chules]
very, very good.
297
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:34,779
Well...
298
00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:36,414
Then this is probably
the best time to tell you
299
00:13:36,415 --> 00:13:37,749
That when you went
to Cancun,
300
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:40,185
I reported
your credit card stolen.
301
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:42,086
That's why it wouldn't work.
302
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:50,328
I love pushing it
through my teeth--watch.
303
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:54,432
[knock on door]
304
00:13:54,433 --> 00:13:56,167
Hi. I'm sorry
this is taking so long,
305
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:57,769
But, Mr. Bingham,
306
00:13:57,770 --> 00:14:00,772
I'm gonna have to come with me
to fill out some paperwork.
307
00:14:05,611 --> 00:14:07,879
What, is this
about the jell-o?
308
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,849
Hi, Mrs. Bingham,
I'm Wendy.
309
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,985
I'm a social worker, and
I wanted to check in on you.
310
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:14,720
[laughing]
hi, Wendy.
311
00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:16,389
Hi.
312
00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:19,325
Listen, I want you to know
that you are in a safe place.
313
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:20,993
So if you're comfortable...
314
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:24,497
Oh, yeah, I'm comfortable.
I'm super comfy.
315
00:14:24,498 --> 00:14:26,198
[giggles]
good.
316
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,934
And now I wanted to ask
about your injury.
317
00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:30,537
Your husband did this
to you, didn't he?
318
00:14:30,538 --> 00:14:33,440
Oh, yeah.
[chuckles]
319
00:14:35,109 --> 00:14:37,677
Big surprise.
320
00:14:37,678 --> 00:14:38,778
Tell me what happened.
321
00:14:38,779 --> 00:14:41,014
Oh, it was my fault.
322
00:14:41,015 --> 00:14:44,116
It is never your fault.
323
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:47,886
You know, I should've kept
my mouth shut
324
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,655
And stayed on my side
of the bed.
325
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,225
Is that what he told you?
326
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,127
Oh, it doesn't matter.
327
00:14:56,128 --> 00:14:59,431
He's really, really sorry.
328
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:02,099
And then he ate my jell-o.
329
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:05,737
Well, everything's
going to be okay now.
330
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,207
Ah. How--how long is Jeff
gonna be gone?
331
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:11,110
Oh, you don't have to worry
about him anymore.
332
00:15:14,615 --> 00:15:17,550
Mr. Bingham...
Hey, what's up?
333
00:15:17,551 --> 00:15:20,654
You son of a bitch.
334
00:15:20,655 --> 00:15:22,622
You're going to have
to come with us.
335
00:15:22,623 --> 00:15:24,991
Oh, look, I'll pay
for the jell-o!
336
00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:29,596
So instead of attending
my own birthday party,
337
00:15:29,597 --> 00:15:32,099
I spent the night explaining
to three adult-film actresses
338
00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:33,433
That none of them
got the part
339
00:15:33,434 --> 00:15:36,702
Because there really was,
in fact, no movie.
340
00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:41,774
And that sums up
the last six months.
341
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:45,044
All of that in six months?
Yes, Veronica.
342
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:48,080
Oh, and secretary's day--
not even a card.
343
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:49,882
Even I got a card.
344
00:15:49,883 --> 00:15:54,219
It said, "take this
out of petty cash, skidmark."
345
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:55,387
Oh, come on.
346
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:57,122
Are you guys really
buying this?
347
00:15:57,123 --> 00:16:00,291
I'm sorry? You think I've been
making these up all night?
348
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:02,594
What on earth would I stand
to gain from doing that?
349
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:03,561
I don't know.
350
00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:05,463
Maybe you just like
the attention.
351
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,198
Yes, that's what I crave,
attention from the gang
352
00:16:07,199 --> 00:16:08,867
In the "who's the biggest
loser?" contest
353
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:12,237
Sorry, veronica, I know you've
got some irons in the fire.
354
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:13,271
Whatever, dude.
355
00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:15,173
No boss could ever be
that bad.
356
00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:17,776
Well...
357
00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:20,444
It looks as though you'll have
a chance to judge for yourself.
358
00:16:20,445 --> 00:16:22,747
Here he comes now.
359
00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:25,516
Where, behind
that little blond girl?
360
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:27,652
No, he is
the little blond girl.
361
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,120
Timmy.
362
00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:30,555
Mr. Dunbar, good day.
363
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:32,023
How you doing?
You okay?
364
00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:34,559
I was worried about you.
Here...
365
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,360
Come on, dude,
he brought you coffee.
366
00:16:36,361 --> 00:16:37,929
Give it a minute.
367
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,964
Yeah, this isn't coffee.
This is an empty cup.
368
00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:41,466
I don't want to lose
my place in line
369
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:44,969
If baboo here decides
he needs to take a whiz.
370
00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:46,371
And we're off.
371
00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:48,273
Here's today's to-do list.
372
00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:51,042
Ehh, yikes, a little sticky.
Don't ask.
373
00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:52,911
I never do, sir.
374
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:54,479
And off to the office.
375
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,381
Oh...
376
00:16:56,382 --> 00:16:59,917
You seem a little
emotionally shaken.
377
00:16:59,918 --> 00:17:02,253
[whispering]
get her number.
378
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:05,122
I am so sorry
I ever doubted you.
379
00:17:05,123 --> 00:17:08,658
Not at all.
380
00:17:12,162 --> 00:17:15,097
[loud electric guitar playing]
381
00:17:15,098 --> 00:17:17,100
♪ ♪
382
00:17:17,101 --> 00:17:18,935
[guitar playing continues]
383
00:17:18,936 --> 00:17:22,772
Look, my fiance read you
the riot act yesterday,
384
00:17:22,773 --> 00:17:24,407
And I know he's not
gonna be happy
385
00:17:24,408 --> 00:17:26,476
When he finds out
you're still--
386
00:17:26,477 --> 00:17:30,481
[playing loudly and off-key]
387
00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:33,051
[guitar stops]
388
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,654
And that is an example
of the kind of noise
389
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:38,757
We don't want to hear anymore.
390
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:39,958
I hope you got that straight,
391
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:41,259
Because I don't want to
have to come up here--
392
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,361
Dude, she's gone.
Oh, no.
393
00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:44,963
I'm so screwed right now.
394
00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:46,832
When she gets angry, I mean,
she's like a raving...
395
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,567
Dude, she's back.
396
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,502
Angel.
397
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:53,005
She's like a raving angel.
398
00:17:53,006 --> 00:17:55,874
Hey, baby, let's go.
399
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:03,482
[sighs]
400
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:05,083
Well, I know wives everywhere
401
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,785
Are sick of hearing this
from their husbands,
402
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:08,653
And it may sound trite, but...
403
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:11,789
Thanks for not
pressing charges.
404
00:18:11,790 --> 00:18:14,525
No problem.
405
00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:16,960
I didn't think it was gonna
take you so long to clear it up,
406
00:18:16,961 --> 00:18:19,830
But I guess
you were coming down
407
00:18:19,831 --> 00:18:21,465
From those painkillers, so...
408
00:18:21,466 --> 00:18:23,468
Sure...
[chuckles]
409
00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:25,870
That's what it was.
410
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:28,973
Well, anyway...
411
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:31,541
Listen, I had a--
412
00:18:31,542 --> 00:18:34,544
I had a lot of time to think
while I was in lockup.
413
00:18:36,514 --> 00:18:38,849
You were
in the nurses' break room.
414
00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:40,084
With a vending machine
415
00:18:40,085 --> 00:18:42,553
That only took
exact change, so...
416
00:18:42,554 --> 00:18:44,989
It might as well
have been prison.
417
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:47,025
Look, they fingerprinted me.
418
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:48,493
Oh, god,
wash that off, please.
419
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:50,695
I don't want to wake up
with ink all over my boobs.
420
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:53,165
Aye aye, matey.
421
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:56,035
Anyway, listen, I was thinking
that at the very least
422
00:18:56,036 --> 00:18:59,438
I should, uh, let you choose
which side of the bed you want.
423
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,407
Oh, well,
I'll take my old side.
424
00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:05,109
Better to lose a little sleep
than the other eye.
425
00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:08,512
Hey, I'll tell you what.
426
00:19:08,513 --> 00:19:10,547
I will set the, uh, clock
427
00:19:10,548 --> 00:19:12,215
For the real time
that I have to get up.
428
00:19:12,216 --> 00:19:13,849
Thank you.
429
00:19:13,850 --> 00:19:18,221
So I guess no more acting
like Jen and Adam, huh?
430
00:19:18,222 --> 00:19:20,557
Well, there is
one more thing of theirs
431
00:19:20,558 --> 00:19:22,693
That I would like to try.
432
00:19:25,163 --> 00:19:27,565
Huh?
433
00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:30,468
Welcome to Thunderdome.
434
00:19:32,105 --> 00:19:36,108
On second thought...
Take out the other eye.
435
00:19:40,914 --> 00:19:43,082
So I guess
the silver lining is, uh...
436
00:19:43,083 --> 00:19:45,017
Free jell-o.
437
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:47,854
Nice.
438
00:19:47,855 --> 00:19:50,590
Here's your phone, sir.
439
00:19:50,591 --> 00:19:52,960
Ah...
440
00:19:52,961 --> 00:19:55,729
Oh...
441
00:19:55,730 --> 00:19:58,800
They didn't have it
in red?
442
00:20:00,603 --> 00:20:03,772
[sighs]
443
00:20:03,773 --> 00:20:05,607
Timmy, come here.
444
00:20:07,443 --> 00:20:08,843
Yes, sir?
445
00:20:08,844 --> 00:20:10,446
Don't forget your bathroom.
446
00:20:11,447 --> 00:20:19,316
447
00:20:19,366 --> 00:20:23,916
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