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1
00:00:04,697 --> 00:00:07,021
A waffle is like a beautiful golden lattice
2
00:00:07,188 --> 00:00:09,883
of sweet, shimmering, syrup-filled lakes.
3
00:00:12,255 --> 00:00:15,374
And yet, in our wedding
vows, he called me "chief."
4
00:00:16,846 --> 00:00:17,851
You eating?
5
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:21,021
I'm saving my appetite for lunch, but
you did talk me into a bite of yours.
6
00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:26,238
See, here's how it works.
I order what I wanna eat...
7
00:00:27,267 --> 00:00:28,945
And I alone eat it.
8
00:00:30,081 --> 00:00:32,405
Probably don't need x-Rays.
9
00:00:33,530 --> 00:00:35,981
Jeff's a little territorial about his food.
10
00:00:36,148 --> 00:00:37,037
Yeah, my mistake.
11
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,956
He seems so human, I
forget he's a gorilla.
12
00:00:41,009 --> 00:00:42,239
From when I was a kid, you know,
13
00:00:42,406 --> 00:00:44,753
I was afraid I was never
gonna get enough food.
14
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:47,047
Even with all those people
throwing peanuts into the cage?
15
00:00:49,302 --> 00:00:52,596
You really want your cause of death
to be one too many gorilla jokes?
16
00:00:55,141 --> 00:00:58,558
So who's your lunch date with, huh?
That geography wiz you were seeing?
17
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:00,435
Hey, do you know the
capital of North Dakota?
18
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,563
Uh, I know it's not South Dakota.
19
00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,191
Yeah, that was a shocker.
20
00:01:05,958 --> 00:01:07,581
She's a real smarty.
21
00:01:07,748 --> 00:01:10,570
Dr. Ellen Leib. She's a psychiatrist.
22
00:01:11,068 --> 00:01:12,405
You're dating a shrink?
23
00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:15,912
Aren't you worried she's gonna see
right past all of the... this?
24
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:18,870
Listen, I've been to my
share of these people.
25
00:01:19,337 --> 00:01:21,814
Some by choice, some court-ordered.
26
00:01:22,738 --> 00:01:25,007
But I found it's impossible to shrink me.
27
00:01:26,974 --> 00:01:28,755
God did a pretty good job.
28
00:01:30,214 --> 00:01:33,635
- Even when I was a kid,
it was a waste of time. - Your parents sent you to therapy?
29
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:36,763
Well, their divorce hit me pretty hard,
you know. I always thought it was my fault.
30
00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:39,724
- That's so sad.
- Yeah, turns out it was my fault.
31
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:43,479
But I got to check out
those rorschach tests.
32
00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:46,481
- Why is that a good thing?
- Come on...
33
00:01:47,118 --> 00:01:50,381
ink blot pictures of people having sex.
34
00:01:51,770 --> 00:01:52,770
Wow.
35
00:01:55,142 --> 00:01:56,274
Oh, that's Jackie. Eh...
36
00:02:02,787 --> 00:02:04,304
I need you guys to help me with Adam.
37
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,264
Oh, listen, I'll show him with
the hand puppets one more time,
38
00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:09,921
but when it comes to the
wedding night, he's on his own.
39
00:02:10,501 --> 00:02:13,004
He was visiting his parents, and I
guess the hippies rubbed off on him,
40
00:02:13,171 --> 00:02:14,801
because he came back with a soul patch.
41
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:18,447
So that means you're gonna be Mrs. Idiot.
42
00:02:19,345 --> 00:02:21,891
I told him it was lame, but
he thinks it's cool and retro.
43
00:02:22,141 --> 00:02:25,520
He crumbles under pressure from you guys,
so let him have it... really lay into him.
44
00:02:26,216 --> 00:02:28,087
All right, here he comes. Oh, my God.
45
00:02:31,277 --> 00:02:32,360
What up, guys?
46
00:02:33,119 --> 00:02:34,777
Hey, welcome back.
47
00:02:34,944 --> 00:02:36,939
Got a little soul patch action, huh?
48
00:02:37,474 --> 00:02:39,520
Yeah, well, what do you think?
49
00:02:41,464 --> 00:02:43,567
I think it's pretty damn cool.
50
00:02:45,025 --> 00:02:46,791
Wait... what? No, you don't.
51
00:02:47,192 --> 00:02:48,918
I'd go so far as to say retro.
52
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:53,799
Okay, I got to admit that there was a part of
me that thought you guys were gonna mock it.
53
00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:55,111
Oh, my God... why?
54
00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:58,135
Thank you.
55
00:02:58,495 --> 00:03:00,196
I'm gonna go wash up.
56
00:03:01,435 --> 00:03:02,919
What the hell is wrong with you guys?
57
00:03:04,147 --> 00:03:05,874
First I wanted to screw with you,
58
00:03:06,041 --> 00:03:09,435
but then I realized the more I say I
like it, the more it stays on his face.
59
00:03:10,525 --> 00:03:11,738
And keeps on giving.
60
00:03:12,241 --> 00:03:13,816
I can't believe you guys didn't abuse him.
61
00:03:13,983 --> 00:03:16,696
One time I wore a black and white striped
shirt, and I never heard the end of it!
62
00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:20,533
Oh, my God, I ran into the hamburglar,
and he's still mad about that.
63
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:22,827
I'm not even wearing it.
64
00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:26,372
- Don't you have a football
game you gotta go referee? - It was a month ago!
65
00:03:26,622 --> 00:03:28,541
You can't tell time. You're a zebra.
66
00:03:33,386 --> 00:03:36,748
Don't make plans for Saturday night.
Jackie and Brad invited us to dinner.
67
00:03:37,386 --> 00:03:39,052
Oh, I thought you were
so anti-double date.
68
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:40,643
Yeah, he usually is,
but this works out great.
69
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,473
Jeff gets along with Brad,
and I get along with Jackie.
70
00:03:44,159 --> 00:03:46,204
Yeah, the loophole is it's two dudes.
71
00:03:46,568 --> 00:03:49,038
You know, I just realized, Brad
is black and Jackie's white.
72
00:03:50,007 --> 00:03:52,250
Now, what garment does that bring to mind?
73
00:03:55,511 --> 00:03:57,237
- All right, hey,
74
00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,405
did you give the patch
a little comb-through?
75
00:04:00,797 --> 00:04:01,963
Little bit.
76
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:05,987
- didn't think he could improve it.
- But ya did!
77
00:04:08,664 --> 00:04:10,250
310 : Family Style
78
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:27,851
Transcripted by chamallow35
www.addic7ed.com
79
00:04:37,241 --> 00:04:38,111
All right.
80
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:41,573
Thank you for the coffee,
Dr. Leib, medicine woman.
81
00:04:42,756 --> 00:04:44,200
I wasn't sure. How do
you take your coffee?
82
00:04:44,727 --> 00:04:45,842
Orally. Heh heh.
83
00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:48,664
You do that a lot.
84
00:04:49,482 --> 00:04:50,665
Oh, yeah, I've heard that before.
85
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:53,084
I use humor as a shield, blah, blah, blah.
86
00:04:54,091 --> 00:04:56,726
You do, but I've also noticed That
often when you say something funny,
87
00:04:56,893 --> 00:04:58,419
you punctuate it with a little "heh heh."
88
00:04:59,858 --> 00:05:01,434
What, is that like a thing?
89
00:05:02,009 --> 00:05:05,013
It could be a defense mechanism
to prevent others from judging you.
90
00:05:05,676 --> 00:05:07,765
Or perhaps a holdover from childhood
91
00:05:08,015 --> 00:05:10,727
to fill the silence when your parents
didn't appreciate your humor.
92
00:05:11,147 --> 00:05:13,556
Yeah, they didn't. And I was funny.
93
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,768
I was like Richard Pryor
around that house...
94
00:05:15,935 --> 00:05:18,362
Except smaller and a little
whiter. Heh heh heh.
95
00:05:19,893 --> 00:05:21,070
Oh, my God!
96
00:05:21,635 --> 00:05:24,377
I am so sorry! I didn't mean
to make you self-conscious.
97
00:05:25,032 --> 00:05:27,211
No, no, no. It actually feels good
to learn something about myself.
98
00:05:27,569 --> 00:05:29,454
Maybe I should make an appointment
so you can get me on the couch.
99
00:05:29,947 --> 00:05:31,931
Well, that wouldn't be ethical.
100
00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:34,459
You and I already have a
personal relationship.
101
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:37,712
Yeah, um, speaking of which,
when do I get you on the couch?
102
00:05:38,147 --> 00:05:39,589
Hopefully soon.
103
00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:41,799
What do you mean, hopefully?
It's up to you!
104
00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:47,096
It's too bad you can't see me as a patient. I bet
you could figure out why I wet the bed till I was 15.
105
00:05:57,201 --> 00:06:00,026
What if Ellen's the first psychiatrist
that can answer all my questions?
106
00:06:00,768 --> 00:06:02,806
Why do I objectify women?
107
00:06:02,973 --> 00:06:05,518
Why do I never get to
know them as people...
108
00:06:05,685 --> 00:06:08,473
Merely as accessories to meaningless sex?
109
00:06:09,822 --> 00:06:11,412
So become a patient.
110
00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:13,094
I'd rather nail her.
111
00:06:15,085 --> 00:06:16,376
Sorry I'm late, Mr. Dunbar.
112
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,176
As per your request,
113
00:06:18,343 --> 00:06:20,463
I attended the sexual
harassment seminar in your stead.
114
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:21,797
Oh, who ran it?
115
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:24,786
That hot piece in personnel
with the sweet muffin?
116
00:06:25,399 --> 00:06:27,292
Oh, someone's gotta nail that!
117
00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:28,965
Okay, I will. Heh heh heh.
118
00:06:31,748 --> 00:06:33,051
If there's nothing else, sir.
119
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:34,786
Well, uh,
120
00:06:36,755 --> 00:06:38,898
Timmy, I need you to start
seeing a psychiatrist.
121
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:41,363
As me.
122
00:06:42,301 --> 00:06:43,365
I'm sorry?
123
00:06:44,377 --> 00:06:46,299
I'm sorry for you, too, Tim.
124
00:06:48,485 --> 00:06:51,619
You're asking me to pretend
I'm you and see a psychiatrist?
125
00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:54,455
I must say, sir, I'm not at
all comfortable with that.
126
00:06:54,955 --> 00:06:57,291
I wish that... meant something to me.
127
00:06:58,242 --> 00:07:00,753
What would make a person ask another
person to do something like this?
128
00:07:01,413 --> 00:07:04,064
Good question. Why don't you
ask that when you go see her?
129
00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:06,761
Sir, when I first arrived here,
130
00:07:06,928 --> 00:07:09,596
you promised that I would be
making valuable contacts.
131
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,839
Thus far, the only additions
to my rolodex are
132
00:07:12,006 --> 00:07:14,660
a bail bondsman, several straight-
to-video actresses,
133
00:07:14,827 --> 00:07:17,020
and a high-end children's shoe store.
134
00:07:18,006 --> 00:07:21,024
Timmy, I promised you advancement, but
that doesn't come without responsibility.
135
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,233
But sir, I really...
136
00:07:23,125 --> 00:07:24,440
Timmy... you're so close.
137
00:07:25,565 --> 00:07:27,938
I'd hate to see you throw it all away now.
138
00:07:29,110 --> 00:07:31,447
- I'll make the appointment, sir.
- There ya go.
139
00:07:32,063 --> 00:07:35,959
Hey, can you give a call into little
piggies and see if my wingtips are in?
140
00:07:42,732 --> 00:07:44,839
So I'm one minute into Project Runway
141
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:48,676
when all of a sudden the screen fills
with a bunch of sweaty boys chasing a ball.
142
00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:51,890
It was the Knicks-Celtics game.
I didn't know he was recording.
143
00:07:52,057 --> 00:07:53,057
God, I know how you feel.
144
00:07:53,224 --> 00:07:55,892
Jeff cancelled one of my shows
to record an operation.
145
00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:58,827
It was a breast augmentation.
146
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:02,282
Ooh, short ribs.
147
00:08:04,161 --> 00:08:06,277
Mm! Love at first bite.
Anyway, where was i?
148
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,821
Recapping your riveting
Project Runway disaster.
149
00:08:09,221 --> 00:08:11,721
It was a disaster. It was the finale.
150
00:08:11,888 --> 00:08:13,697
Ooh, heaven on a fork!
151
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,676
So I call up Heidi Klum...
152
00:08:25,483 --> 00:08:26,641
Oh, this is us.
153
00:08:27,156 --> 00:08:29,008
- Oh, boo! This was too fun!
- I know!
154
00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:31,677
Let's do it again tomorrow
night. You guys available?
155
00:08:31,927 --> 00:08:34,472
Totally. I'll call you mana. We'll
watch The View together on the phone.
156
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:35,639
I love it.
157
00:08:35,923 --> 00:08:37,100
See ya, Brad. See ya, Jeff.
158
00:08:42,150 --> 00:08:43,606
Hey, Jeff, you wanna come
sit back here with me?
159
00:08:44,377 --> 00:08:46,234
What are we, newlyweds?
160
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:50,446
God, that was fun. Jackie is a riot.
161
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:51,989
Never again.
162
00:08:53,015 --> 00:08:55,368
- Oh, here we go. What did he do?
- You didn't see it?
163
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:57,453
- He took food off my plate.
- Oh, calm down.
164
00:08:58,075 --> 00:09:01,704
Look, I know this might sound crazy to you,
but most people are actually okay with sharing.
165
00:09:01,871 --> 00:09:02,667
Well, I'm not.
166
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,376
How do you line up on this..."Eyob"?
167
00:09:06,075 --> 00:09:07,338
Oh, I come from Ethiopia,
168
00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:10,133
where all meals are communal.
Everyone shares everything.
169
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,592
Right. So you left.
170
00:09:12,357 --> 00:09:14,387
I left because of political persecution.
171
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,639
Still, you couldn't have
loved the food thing.
172
00:09:18,557 --> 00:09:19,809
You had to go and invite
them for another dinner?
173
00:09:20,491 --> 00:09:23,309
Yes. Because I like Jackie. We're
becoming really good friends.
174
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:27,711
Fine, then I will talk to him, lay
down some ground rules before dinner.
175
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:32,947
No, no, and no. Do you know how many potential
friendships I have lost because of your ground rules?
176
00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:34,687
- Name one.
- The Millers.
177
00:09:34,854 --> 00:09:36,850
That wasn't my fault.
He kept interrupting me.
178
00:09:37,701 --> 00:09:38,995
Oh. And what about the Whitmans?
179
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,341
You take both arm rests
in a movie theater,
180
00:09:41,508 --> 00:09:43,015
you're gonna hear from me.
181
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,977
All I know is you open
your mouth, I lose friends.
182
00:09:46,144 --> 00:09:47,587
So you're not gonna talk to Jackie.
183
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:48,880
Fine. Then you tell him.
184
00:09:49,811 --> 00:09:51,552
No, no, no, no. He's very
sensitive to criticism.
185
00:09:51,884 --> 00:09:55,490
Brad told me he once made a tiny comment about
the paint color Jackie chose for the living room.
186
00:09:55,657 --> 00:09:57,521
Jackie had a hissy fit.
187
00:09:58,374 --> 00:09:59,599
So you will just deal with it.
188
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:01,728
What, you believe this?
189
00:10:01,895 --> 00:10:04,592
I gotta go out with a
guy who violated my meal.
190
00:10:05,312 --> 00:10:07,168
Sir, it's hard for me to be objective
191
00:10:07,335 --> 00:10:10,099
since you are sitting on my sandwich.
192
00:10:17,364 --> 00:10:18,701
Start with my childhood.
193
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:22,444
Emphasize how much it hurt when
those awful kids called you albino
194
00:10:22,807 --> 00:10:25,886
because of your pale skin
and your blond white hair.
195
00:10:27,403 --> 00:10:29,629
And you see no flaw in that plan?
196
00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:32,690
This might be the dumbest
thing I've ever seen you do,
197
00:10:32,857 --> 00:10:35,343
and I saw you trying to
forge a gynecology license.
198
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:37,511
Dude, I'm trying to find
out why I do stuff like that.
199
00:10:38,027 --> 00:10:40,679
All right, now, self-image.
Now, I know I'm not short,
200
00:10:40,846 --> 00:10:43,012
but why do I occasionally feel inadequate
201
00:10:43,179 --> 00:10:45,645
about my perfectly average height?
202
00:10:46,482 --> 00:10:48,721
You are short. It's a fact.
203
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:53,300
Look at this guy! He's telling a
semi-licensed gynecologist what a fact is.
204
00:10:54,224 --> 00:10:55,863
All right, and whenever I
score with a babe,
205
00:10:56,493 --> 00:10:57,698
I immediately wanna leave.
206
00:10:57,948 --> 00:10:58,824
So the question is,
207
00:10:59,074 --> 00:11:01,349
what's wrong with her
that makes me wanna do that?
208
00:11:03,078 --> 00:11:05,014
Hey, Adam, you got some,
uh, powdered sugar.
209
00:11:05,181 --> 00:11:06,165
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
210
00:11:07,177 --> 00:11:08,525
You know what? That looks cool.
211
00:11:09,298 --> 00:11:10,670
You should bleach it.
212
00:11:11,874 --> 00:11:13,658
Oh... that'd be fierce!
213
00:11:15,177 --> 00:11:17,328
You just said fierce!
214
00:11:17,755 --> 00:11:18,967
Dude... that's cool.
215
00:11:22,997 --> 00:11:24,243
Hey, Aud, ya up?
216
00:11:24,629 --> 00:11:25,629
What's wrong?
217
00:11:25,876 --> 00:11:29,021
Nothin', I figured out how to stop
Jackie from stealing my food again.
218
00:11:31,328 --> 00:11:34,360
- Jeff... you're not gonna talk to him...
- Without saying anything to him.
219
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:35,676
Look, step one...
220
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:39,031
we invite Adam and Jen. I realize
we need to throw bodies at this thin
221
00:11:39,746 --> 00:11:41,297
Here's the seating chart.
222
00:11:41,837 --> 00:11:44,120
I'm here. Adam. You. Jen. Brad.
223
00:11:44,624 --> 00:11:46,363
Meat thief, way over here.
224
00:11:46,715 --> 00:11:49,125
He goes left, boom... it's you and Adam.
225
00:11:49,521 --> 00:11:51,187
He goes right, boom... Brad and Jen.
226
00:11:51,354 --> 00:11:53,921
Directly across... Can't reach.
227
00:11:54,733 --> 00:11:55,930
Sorry, Jackie.
228
00:11:56,432 --> 00:11:57,425
You lose.
229
00:12:03,958 --> 00:12:07,207
I wonder if my high school
boyfriend is still listed.
230
00:12:15,032 --> 00:12:16,319
So as an adolescent,
231
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,198
you masturbated so chronically
232
00:12:18,365 --> 00:12:21,244
that your parents had you
fitted for sandpaper mittens?
233
00:12:23,222 --> 00:12:24,415
Evidently.
234
00:12:25,143 --> 00:12:26,329
And how did that make you feel?
235
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:29,333
The word humiliated
barely scrates the surface.
236
00:12:30,972 --> 00:12:33,252
If I may, I'd like to talk
about your breast feeding.
237
00:12:33,699 --> 00:12:34,745
Must we?
238
00:12:35,782 --> 00:12:37,061
At what age did you stop?
239
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:38,987
I'll need to check that.
240
00:12:40,214 --> 00:12:41,677
Made a few notes prior to our session.
241
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:43,012
Oh, here we go.
242
00:12:43,415 --> 00:12:46,603
Uh, stopped breast feeding
at age seven. Oh, dear God.
243
00:12:47,885 --> 00:12:49,352
And how did that make you feel?
244
00:12:51,082 --> 00:12:53,000
I really wish you'd stop asking me that.
245
00:12:53,878 --> 00:12:55,954
I don't say this to many patients,
246
00:12:56,121 --> 00:12:59,904
but I give you so much credit for just
getting out of bed in the morning.
247
00:13:01,999 --> 00:13:03,992
It is becoming increasingly difficult.
248
00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:11,874
Hey...I just had an idea. How
'bout, uh, Audrey, Adam, Jackie,
249
00:13:12,299 --> 00:13:13,511
Jen, Brad, and me?
250
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,544
Wow, look at you, the man with the plan.
251
00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:17,859
I was up all night thinkin' about it.
252
00:13:20,243 --> 00:13:21,050
Problem solved.
253
00:13:23,799 --> 00:13:27,300
You know, eventually I'm actually gonna
pull the muscles that control eye-rolling.
254
00:13:28,996 --> 00:13:31,685
Now, what would you say is
the worst thing you've ever done
255
00:13:31,935 --> 00:13:33,270
in an attempt to sleep with a woman?
256
00:13:33,704 --> 00:13:36,065
- May I consult my notes again?
- Sure.
257
00:13:42,860 --> 00:13:44,646
I'm sorry. We're out of time.
258
00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:49,120
No. We have 20 minutes left.
259
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:51,956
So please, the worst thing you've
ever done to sleep with a woman.
260
00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:56,710
I'm not sure I can say this out loud.
261
00:13:57,542 --> 00:13:59,672
That's okay, I'll... I'll just read it.
262
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:01,920
Thank you.
263
00:14:06,147 --> 00:14:07,649
I think we're out of time.
264
00:14:10,972 --> 00:14:12,497
Everything looks so good.
265
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,624
Couldn't reach across this table
if he had extendable robot arms.
266
00:14:18,578 --> 00:14:20,289
Oh. Wow. They... they really
are starting to hurt.
267
00:14:20,456 --> 00:14:22,168
The mongolian beef?
268
00:14:22,335 --> 00:14:23,946
I ordered that right here, my friend.
269
00:14:24,826 --> 00:14:27,450
- Oh, the tofu looks great.
- It does. I should have ordered that.
270
00:14:27,895 --> 00:14:29,702
It doesn't matter. We're
all sharing anyway.
271
00:14:30,183 --> 00:14:31,183
Not all of us.
272
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:34,123
That's the great thing about this
place... it's family style.
273
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:35,416
Get it while it's hot!
274
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:43,340
Here's something that I'd
hoped never to say
275
00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:45,290
to the person I'm gonna marry:
276
00:14:45,810 --> 00:14:47,636
Honey, you have a little
rice in your soul patch.
277
00:14:48,174 --> 00:14:50,639
Easy on the patch, right? You're
the only one who doesn't like it.
278
00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:52,898
No. You're the only one who does.
279
00:14:54,298 --> 00:14:56,501
Oh, yeah? Let's ask Jackie.
He works in fashion.
280
00:14:56,919 --> 00:14:58,856
Jackie, what do you think
of this bad boy, huh?
281
00:14:59,995 --> 00:15:03,720
Well, you know, Brad's always telling me I need
to work on keeping my opinion to myself, so...
282
00:15:06,279 --> 00:15:07,406
What, you don't like it?
283
00:15:08,705 --> 00:15:10,451
- Well, you know, I just... I...
- No,
284
00:15:10,887 --> 00:15:12,779
it's okay, Jackie. Tell him.
285
00:15:14,973 --> 00:15:16,549
Okay. Soul patches.
286
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,667
Not having soul patches.
287
00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:21,754
Yeah, well, Jeff likes it.
288
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:23,412
No. No, I don't.
289
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:25,966
- See?
- So...
290
00:15:26,474 --> 00:15:28,344
no one thinks this is f... fierce?
291
00:15:28,776 --> 00:15:30,721
Oh, my God, did you just say fierce?
292
00:15:32,791 --> 00:15:35,513
Thank you! Where were you
during his do-rag phase?
293
00:15:36,452 --> 00:15:38,770
I am so full, I can't have another bite.
294
00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:40,189
I surrender!
295
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,857
Oh, you gotta be kiddin' me.
296
00:15:42,619 --> 00:15:44,661
Look, don't say anything, all right?
297
00:15:44,908 --> 00:15:46,362
I understand your beef with Jackie.
298
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:49,700
I had no beef with Jackie.
That's the problem.
299
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:54,886
Hey, there's my alter ego.
300
00:15:55,503 --> 00:15:57,748
All right. Tell me everything.
301
00:16:00,972 --> 00:16:04,381
You're wildly sociopathic
with hypersexual tendencies.
302
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:07,591
You suffer from both megalomania
and a Napoleon complex,
303
00:16:07,841 --> 00:16:10,955
and you should ideally
never be left unsupervised.
304
00:16:12,895 --> 00:16:13,904
That's good stuff. Keep it comin'.
305
00:16:14,531 --> 00:16:16,350
When's our next session?
306
00:16:17,155 --> 00:16:18,973
Please don't make me go
back for more, sir.
307
00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:23,384
- I wanna be cured.
- There is no cure for what you've got!
308
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:30,155
Apparently, your best hope is to try to get
out in front of it pharmaceutically, sir.
309
00:16:30,644 --> 00:16:33,075
- Oh, sweet! Meds! Here, gimme.
- Since
310
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,731
I'm the one who endured the trauma,
I do feel I'm going to need them.
311
00:16:37,802 --> 00:16:39,054
Nerts, Timmy.
312
00:16:39,221 --> 00:16:41,832
My psychoses, my pills.
Come on, come on.
313
00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:43,590
There ya go.
314
00:16:43,908 --> 00:16:46,287
But I just don't see how I'm
going to be able to sleep tonight.
315
00:16:46,999 --> 00:16:48,815
Or any night, for that matter.
316
00:16:50,307 --> 00:16:53,137
- All right, you big baby. There you go.
- It does say to take three, sir.
317
00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:56,198
Drink with it. You'll be fine.
318
00:16:57,923 --> 00:16:59,059
Finished?
319
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:01,186
God, yes! Take it away!
320
00:17:02,183 --> 00:17:04,771
Before I forget... we have
box seats to Cher next month.
321
00:17:04,938 --> 00:17:06,108
Who wants in?
322
00:17:06,641 --> 00:17:08,444
We're flying to A.C.
323
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,280
- Really? Just for the concert?
- Jackie's a huge fan of Cher.
324
00:17:12,266 --> 00:17:15,069
Ironic. He's not a fan of sharing.
325
00:17:15,946 --> 00:17:17,343
- What was that?
- Nothing.
326
00:17:17,933 --> 00:17:20,470
Jeff's just being silly.
He's wasted again.
327
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:24,126
He said I'm not a fan of
sharing. What did you mean?
328
00:17:26,978 --> 00:17:30,591
It's just that you took a lot of the
mongolian beef, and I ended up with none.
329
00:17:34,924 --> 00:17:36,889
Well, why didn't you say something, dummy?
330
00:17:37,312 --> 00:17:39,642
- It's not a big deal.
- It is a big deal.
331
00:17:40,137 --> 00:17:41,273
I'm so sorry.
332
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,813
I get caught up in the conversation, and
I forget I'm sucking down everybody's food.
333
00:17:45,304 --> 00:17:47,941
Excuse me, could we get another order
of mongolian beef over here pronto?
334
00:17:48,191 --> 00:17:50,122
I'll put that in right away.
335
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,106
Next time, just speak up.
336
00:17:52,273 --> 00:17:55,491
I may have porcelain skin,
but I'm not made of it.
337
00:17:56,187 --> 00:17:56,992
Thanks, Jackie.
338
00:17:57,242 --> 00:18:00,153
See, he took that like a
champ. There was no hissy fit.
339
00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:02,623
Why would you think I'd have a hissy fit?
340
00:18:03,103 --> 00:18:04,571
It's just Audrey said...
341
00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:08,629
It was... just because of...
342
00:18:10,912 --> 00:18:11,965
I... I thought...
343
00:18:12,215 --> 00:18:15,336
you wanna see a hissy, Audrey?
Talk about me behind my back.
344
00:18:15,503 --> 00:18:17,596
Oh! Oh, that's right. You did!
345
00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:19,515
- Jackie... no, no, Jackie, I...
- Save it, Audrey.
346
00:18:20,290 --> 00:18:21,684
I thought we were friends.
347
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,394
Jackie, wait!
348
00:18:26,290 --> 00:18:28,352
Why don't you want us to have friends?
349
00:18:33,685 --> 00:18:36,407
I swear, this has never happened before.
350
00:18:37,306 --> 00:18:40,321
Are you sure there's
nothing else I can do?
351
00:18:40,821 --> 00:18:44,474
Like what? I'm already out of hand lotion.
You almost started a fire down there.
352
00:18:46,353 --> 00:18:48,001
I don't know what's wrong with me.
353
00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:50,944
Well, it could be any number of things.
354
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,055
Stress, new medication.
355
00:18:53,865 --> 00:18:56,623
New medication... oh,
you've gotta be kidding me.
356
00:18:57,244 --> 00:18:58,303
That's okay.
357
00:18:58,729 --> 00:19:01,557
I have to confess, I'm...
Not quite in the mood anyway.
358
00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:03,308
Really?
359
00:19:04,324 --> 00:19:06,491
Well, I just took on this new client,
360
00:19:07,173 --> 00:19:09,188
and I don't think I can help him.
361
00:19:10,021 --> 00:19:11,097
You can't?
362
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:15,006
No. He's one of those people
there's just no hope for.
363
00:19:16,806 --> 00:19:18,397
Not even a little bit?
364
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,351
No. It's very upsetting.
365
00:19:23,927 --> 00:19:25,291
Yes, it is.
366
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:52,024
Aw, you got rid of the soul patch!
367
00:19:52,654 --> 00:19:54,651
Yeah. I shaved it off a week ago.
368
00:19:54,901 --> 00:19:55,986
Still...
369
00:19:56,574 --> 00:19:58,363
remember when he had it?
370
00:19:58,922 --> 00:20:00,866
Really? We're gonna do this again?
371
00:20:01,362 --> 00:20:03,332
The ninth fairway emailed me,
372
00:20:03,499 --> 00:20:05,537
and it wants its divot back.
373
00:20:05,787 --> 00:20:07,873
This doesn't make sense anymore.
374
00:20:08,352 --> 00:20:10,171
They world's tiniest plane called.
375
00:20:10,675 --> 00:20:13,295
They wanna know if the
runway is clear for landing.
376
00:20:14,186 --> 00:20:17,466
- Can we just move on?
- A brazilian porn star left a message two days...
377
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:20,594
I know what she wants back,
okay? I don't have it anymore!
378
00:20:24,342 --> 00:20:26,350
Hey, guys. look what she's wearing.
379
00:20:27,933 --> 00:20:28,727
Oh, crap!
380
00:20:29,733 --> 00:20:30,604
Where are you going?
381
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:33,339
Did you double-park your gondola?
382
00:20:33,389 --> 00:20:37,939
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