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1
00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:19,012
BECKY!
2
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:21,014
WHAT IS THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
3
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,515
IT'S 20 DEGREES OUTSIDE,
4
00:01:22,515 --> 00:01:23,883
AND HE'S OUT THERE
WITHOUT A HAT.
5
00:01:23,883 --> 00:01:25,718
I'M NOT HIS KEEPER.
6
00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:28,620
NOW CAN I GO
BACK OUTSIDE AND PLAY?
7
00:01:28,621 --> 00:01:31,624
NO, YOU PUT ON A HAT
OR ELSE LEAVE YOUR HEAD INSIDE.
8
00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:32,625
AWW.
9
00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:37,096
BECKY, I'M WORKING
TWO JOBS HERE.
10
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,898
NOW UNLESS YOU WANT
TO GO OUT AND GET A JOB,
11
00:01:38,898 --> 00:01:40,699
I NEED YOU
TO BE AN ADULT WHEN I'M AT WORK.
12
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:42,201
WELL, IF I'M
AN ADULT,
13
00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:43,203
THEN HOW COME
I CAN'T SEE BON JOVI
14
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:44,204
IN CHICAGO
NEXT WEEK?
15
00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:45,705
'CAUSE YOU'RE
TOO YOUNG.
16
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,975
WAIT A MINUTE.
I THOUGHT I WAS AN ADULT.
17
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:52,445
IF YOU WERE AN ADULT,
YOU WOULDN'T EVEN LIKE BON JOVI.
18
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,448
WHERE'S YOUR SISTER?
19
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:56,949
I DON'T KNOW.
WHO CARES?
20
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:57,951
DID SHE GO OVER
TO CINDY'S HOUSE?
21
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:58,952
MOTHER,
I DON'T KNOW.
22
00:01:58,952 --> 00:01:59,919
SHE DOESN'T
CHECK IN WITH ME.
23
00:01:59,919 --> 00:02:01,854
HELLO? HI, GLORIA.
IT'S ROSEANNE.
24
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,357
DID DARLENE COME HOME
WITH CINDY?
25
00:02:04,357 --> 00:02:07,360
YEAH...NO...OK, WELL,
IF SHE DOES COME OVER THERE,
26
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,861
TELL HER I NEED HER TO GET
HER BUTT HOME RIGHT AWAY.
27
00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:09,863
THANKS. BYE.
28
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:12,131
MOTHER, WHEN CAN
I TALK TO YOU?
29
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,566
HOW'S JUNE?
30
00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:15,634
I'M SERIOUS.
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT JIMMY.
31
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,136
WE'RE HAVING
PROBLEMS.
32
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,139
CAN WE TALK ABOUT IT
TOMORROW OVER BREAKFAST?
33
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,207
OH, SURE. IN FRONT
OF EVERYONE.
34
00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:24,109
WELL, DO YOU WANT ME
TO WAKE YOU WHEN I COME HOME AT 2:30 A.M.?
35
00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:26,145
MOTHER, I HAVEN'T SEEN
YOU ALL WEEK.
36
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,247
YOU'RE NEGLECTING ME.
37
00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:29,315
I KNOW, HONEY, BUT IT'S
NOTHING PERSONAL.
38
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:32,318
I'M NEGLECTING
YOUR BROTHER AND SISTER, TOO.
39
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:33,552
VERY FUNNY.
40
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,859
OK. I'LL BE
IN THE SHOWER
41
00:02:39,859 --> 00:02:41,360
AT 6:00
TOMORROW MORNING.
42
00:02:48,034 --> 00:02:49,535
DAN. RIGHT?
43
00:02:50,537 --> 00:02:52,038
RIGHT.
44
00:02:52,038 --> 00:02:54,040
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU WERE GONNA BE HOME EARLY TODAY.
45
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,542
HEY, A MAN CAN DREAM,
CAN'T HE?
46
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:58,545
WELL, JOEY MESSED UP
THE LUMBER ORDER,
47
00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:00,046
AND ONCE HE FINALLY
GOT IT RIGHT,
48
00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:02,681
HE SENT IT TO THE JOB
WE WERE WORKIN' AT LAST WEEK.
49
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:05,184
WELL, MAYBE THE DRIVER
WAS JUST TOO EMBARRASSED
50
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,687
TO GO OVER TO THE
RED VELVET MASSAGE PARLOR.
51
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:10,990
MAYBE.
52
00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:13,359
BUT YOU WERE THERE,
WEREN'T YOU? BRIGHT AND EARLY.
53
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:16,862
ROSEANNE, IT'S A JOB,
ALL RIGHT? GIVE ME A BREAK.
54
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,298
WELL, YOU MUST BE SO
PROUD WORKING THERE.
55
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,234
OF COURSE,
IT DOESN'T HAVE THE PRESTIGE
56
00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:22,735
OF WORKING
AT CHICKEN DIVINE
57
00:03:22,735 --> 00:03:24,503
OR THE LOBO LOUNGE,
BUT...
58
00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:26,572
IT'S A MASSAGE PARLOR,
DAN.
59
00:03:26,573 --> 00:03:31,010
AT LEAST
THE ONLY BREASTS I SEE ARE DIPPED IN BATTER.
60
00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:32,578
SAME HERE.
61
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:42,088
I HATE THIS PLACE.
I HATE THIS PLACE.
62
00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:43,589
I HATE THIS PLACE.
I HATE THIS PLACE.
63
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,091
HOW YOU DOING,
LIZZIE?
64
00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:46,092
OH, FINE.
65
00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:47,593
WHAT YOU GOT?
66
00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:49,095
YOU'RE GOING
TO LOVE THIS--
67
00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:51,097
I NEED
A LONG ISLAND ICED TEA,
68
00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:52,598
A SLOE GIN FIZZ,
69
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:54,100
AND A
GOLDEN CADILLAC.
70
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:55,601
THREE SHOTS
COMING UP.
71
00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,103
STICK UMBRELLAS
IN THEM.
72
00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:59,405
THEY'LL NEVER KNOW
THE DIFFERENCE.
73
00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:00,372
YEAH.
74
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:03,809
DARLENE CALLED AND
SAID, AND I QUOTE,
75
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:06,279
"DO NOT PASS A COW.
I AM HOME."
76
00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:07,346
OH, GREAT.
77
00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:09,148
HOW'S YOUR KID DOING.
BETTER?
78
00:04:09,148 --> 00:04:12,217
HE'S COUGHING SOME, BUT
MOM'S GOT HIM TONIGHT.
79
00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:13,719
HOW ABOUT YOURS?
80
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:14,721
OH, THEY'RE OK.
OF COURSE, I DON'T KNOW.
81
00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:16,222
I ONLY SEE THEM
20 MINUTES A DAY.
82
00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:17,223
HOW'S DAN?
83
00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:19,225
SORRY.
84
00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:22,461
IS THAT MY HEAD,
OR YOU WANT SOMETHING?
85
00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:23,729
I COULD USE ANOTHER.
86
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:24,797
WHAT, ANOTHER LIVER?
87
00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:28,534
YEAH, LAST YEAR
WE WENT UP TO LAKE WAPELLO.
88
00:04:28,534 --> 00:04:30,035
COURSE, BY THE TIME
WE GOT UP THERE,
89
00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:31,537
IT WAS TOO LATE
TO DO ANY FISHING
90
00:04:31,537 --> 00:04:34,039
'CAUSE THE WIFE
DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO READ A MAP.
91
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,542
WELL, READING MAPS
ARE MORE A GUY'S THING, I THINK,
92
00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:40,546
'CAUSE ONLY GUYS UNDERSTAND
1 INCH EQUALING 100 MILES.
93
00:04:42,248 --> 00:04:44,316
ROSIE, YOU MAKE
A LOUSY DRINK.
94
00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:47,787
BUT FORTUNATELY,
YOU GOT THE ATTITUDE TO GO WITH IT.
95
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,855
I CAN TELL THAT
Y'ALL APPRECIATE ME
96
00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:51,858
BY HOW WELL
YOU'RE TIPPING.
97
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:54,360
OH, WAIT A MINUTE. YOU'RE
NOT TIPPING AT ALL, ARE YOU?
98
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,862
SORRY. HOPE I DIDN'T
EMBARRASS NOBODY,
99
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,297
DID I?
100
00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:01,668
ABOUT TIME.
101
00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:04,170
LAST CALL!
102
00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:05,671
ISN'T THAT
ANNIE CLEMENT'S HUSBAND?
103
00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:06,673
WHERE?
104
00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:09,742
OVER THERE, LATCHED
ONTO THAT BLONDE.
105
00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:11,310
IT SURE IS.
106
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,779
WHAT A CREEP.
107
00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:15,815
I HATE MEN.
I HATE BLONDES.
108
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,050
I HATE THIS WHOLE PLACE.
109
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:21,054
LIZZIE, WOULD YOU
GO HOME WITH ME TONIGHT?
110
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,389
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
111
00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:25,858
HEY, LARRY.
112
00:05:25,858 --> 00:05:26,859
HI, ROSIE.
113
00:05:26,859 --> 00:05:28,360
HOW'S YOUR WIFE?
114
00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:29,362
FINE. FINE.
115
00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:31,864
FINE. FINE.
116
00:05:31,864 --> 00:05:34,867
HOW COME YOU AIN'T WEARING
YOUR WEDDING RING, LARRY?
117
00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:36,368
OH, OH!
ROSIE, EASY, EASY.
118
00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:39,372
HEY, YOUR WIFE'S DUE
ANY DAY, ISN'T SHE, LARRY?
119
00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:41,874
SO WHAT'S THAT MAKE,
FIVE KIDS NOW?
120
00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:45,377
THERE'S BILLY AND PETEY
AND RANDY...
121
00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:47,380
GIVE HER
MY REGARDS, LARRY.
122
00:06:08,801 --> 00:06:12,437
DAN...HONEY?
123
00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:13,605
I'M HOME.
124
00:06:13,606 --> 00:06:14,673
[SNORT]
125
00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:32,791
[ALARM BUZZES]
126
00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:13,432
[HUMMING]
127
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,904
GET OFF ME.
128
00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:41,160
TELL YOUR FATHER
THERE'S COLD CUTS IN THE FRIDGE
129
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,661
AND DON'T LET
THE SOUP BOIL OVER
130
00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:44,163
'CAUSE IT'LL
RUIN THE STOVE.
131
00:07:44,163 --> 00:07:45,164
YES, SIR.
132
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:50,669
GEE, DAN, THAT WAS
ALMOST A KISS.
133
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,672
ALMOST.
134
00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:55,975
I'M REALLY GETTING TIRED OF
COLD SANDWICHES FOR DINNER.
135
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:59,812
MAYBE IF YOUR FATHER
HAD MADE SURE YOU GIRLS DID THE DISHES,
136
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,113
I WOULDN'T HAVE
HAD TO DO THEM
137
00:08:01,113 --> 00:08:02,914
WHEN I CAME HOME
LAST NIGHT AT 2:30 A.M.
138
00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:05,517
THEN I WOULD'VE HAD
MORE TIME TO FIX SOMETHING HOT FOR DINNER.
139
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:09,088
BUT, OBVIOUSLY, HE WAS
JUST TOO BUSY WATCHING MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL
140
00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:11,090
OR TUESDAY NIGHT
BUTT BALL
141
00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:13,092
OR WHATEVER THE HELL
IT IS HE WATCHES.
142
00:08:13,092 --> 00:08:15,661
I BELIEVE HE WAS
WATCHING DARLENE DO HER HOMEWORK.
143
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:18,664
OOH, HOW DARE I TAKE
A SECOND JOB
144
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:21,033
WHEN THERE'S SEVENTH GRADE
ALGEBRA TO BE DONE.
145
00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:22,601
IT'S NOT WORTH
FIGHTING ABOUT, YOU GUYS.
146
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,103
I GOT MORE
TO DO TONIGHT.
147
00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:25,170
YOU KNOW,
SEEING AS HOW
148
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,672
YOU'RE THE ONLY
ONE AROUND HERE WHO HAS A JOB,
149
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:28,173
I'LL SEE IF I CAN
DO THE HOUSEWORK TONIGHT
150
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,176
TO YOUR
SATISFACTION, YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS.
151
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,678
OF COURSE, I WAS
JUST OUT PLAYING JOHNNY BUILDER
152
00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:34,413
WITH MY LITTLE PALS
ALL DAY.
153
00:08:34,413 --> 00:08:36,982
OH, DAN, ARE YOU
FEELING IGNORED?
154
00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:38,851
ARE YOU FEELING
UNAPPRECIATED?
155
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:41,887
YOU'LL BE FEELING SINGLE
IN ABOUT TWO SECONDS.
156
00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:44,924
OH, WELL, THERE'S
A HUGE THREAT.
157
00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:46,659
YOU GUYS ARE SO WEAK.
158
00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:47,726
ARE YOU GONNA GET
AROUND TO DOING THE LAUNDRY SOMETIME,
159
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:49,528
OR SHOULD I
DO THAT, TOO?
160
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,932
LET'S SEE. I GOT
A VACATION COMING UP IN ABOUT 6 MONTHS.
161
00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:54,199
FINE. I'LL DO IT.
162
00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:57,637
YOU KNOW, DAN,
THERE IS JUST
163
00:08:57,637 --> 00:08:59,138
NOTHING I WOULD
RATHER DO RIGHT NOW
164
00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:01,140
THAN TO STAY HERE
AND ARGUE BACK AND FORTH WITH YOU,
165
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:03,142
BUT, UNFORTUNATELY,
I HAVE TO GO TO WORK
166
00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:05,644
BECAUSE THAT'S ALL
I EVER DO, IS WORK.
167
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:08,147
SO I'LL SEE ALL
OF YOU LOVELY PEOPLE LATER,
168
00:09:08,147 --> 00:09:09,648
WHEN I GET HOME
FROM WORK.
169
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:16,122
IT'S A NICE TRY, ROSEANNE,
BUT GUILTING ME ISN'T GOING TO WORK!
170
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:28,067
Roseanne: HEY. HEY.
171
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:30,135
HEY, YOU GUYS...
172
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:31,637
HEY!
173
00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:34,640
HEY, FRED AND GINGER,
THERE'S NO DANCING IN HERE.
174
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,643
WE AIN'T DANCING,
WE'RE COOKING.
175
00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:38,644
WELL, TURN OFF
THE STOVE.
176
00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,646
WE DON'T HAVE
A CABARET LICENSE.
177
00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:44,083
HEY!
178
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:47,286
THAT'S THE THIRD TIME
YOU GUYS BUMPED INTO ME, PAL.
179
00:09:47,286 --> 00:09:49,521
YOU WANT TO DO
SOMETHING ABOUT IT?
180
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,023
YOU THINK I'M AFRAID
TO HIT HER?
181
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,028
KNOCK IT OFF.
182
00:09:56,028 --> 00:09:57,529
HEY, I AIN'T MESSING
AROUND, ROSIE.
183
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:58,531
I'LL FLATTEN
THAT BROAD.
184
00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:00,866
SIT DOWN
AND SHUT UP.
185
00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:06,171
HEY, HONEY, I NEED
YOU TO GET HIM OUT OF HERE.
186
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:07,173
WHO ARE YOU, MY MOTHER?
187
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:08,674
WELL, IT COULD BE.
188
00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:10,142
THE SIXTIES
WERE SUCH A BLUR.
189
00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,880
ROSIE, YOU NEED HELP
WITH HER?
190
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,147
SIT!
191
00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:18,484
HEY, LIZ...
WHAT?
192
00:10:18,484 --> 00:10:19,985
YOU GOT ANY QUARTERS?
193
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:22,922
NO, ALL MY MONEY'S TIED
UP IN REAL ESTATE.
194
00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:25,357
SORRY, JOE.
195
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,860
HEY, IT COMES
WITH THE TERRITORY.
196
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,862
YOU KNOW, I ONCE
KILLED A GUY IN KOREA
197
00:10:29,862 --> 00:10:32,664
JUST BY PRESSING
ON HIS THROAT.
198
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:35,300
UH-HUH.
199
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:38,470
YOU WANT TO COME HOME
WITH ME TONIGHT, ROSIE?
200
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,773
WELL, THAT'S
A WONDERFUL OFFER, JOE,
201
00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:42,274
BUT I'M
A MARRIED WOMAN.
202
00:10:42,274 --> 00:10:43,775
NOT A HAPPILY
MARRIED WOMAN,
203
00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:45,744
BUT A MARRIED WOMAN,
NONETHELESS.
204
00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:48,114
ARE WE PLAYING
STRIP POKER, OR WHAT?
205
00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:51,016
ALL RIGHT.
206
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:53,019
THAT'S IT,
TWINKLETOES!
207
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:54,020
I'M SICK
AND TIRED
208
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:56,022
OF YOU
AND YOUR HUSSY BUMPING INTO ME.
209
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:57,023
I'M GETTING REALLY TIRED
OF YOUR MOUTH.
210
00:10:57,023 --> 00:10:57,923
OH, YEAH?
211
00:10:57,923 --> 00:10:59,858
HEY, YOU GUYS WANNA
TAKE THAT OUTSIDE?
212
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:01,293
YOU WANT
TO MAKE US?
213
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:08,167
OH, GREAT.
BRING HIM INTO IT.
214
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,668
YOU'RE EVEN DUMBER
THAN YOU LOOK!
215
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:10,736
WHO YOU CALLING DUMB?
216
00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:11,803
HEY, HEY, HEY,
HEY, HEY, HEY!
217
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:13,305
COME ON, COME ON,
COME ON.
218
00:11:13,305 --> 00:11:14,806
COME ON, GUYS.
COME ON, NOW.
219
00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:20,946
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
220
00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:23,014
OH...NOTHING MUCH.
221
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:26,018
JUST TWO GUYS
TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER THERE.
222
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:26,918
HEY!
223
00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:29,121
COME ON. COME ON,
GUYS, BREAK IT UP.
224
00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:30,689
I GOT IT, SARGE!
225
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:31,691
HEY!
226
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,192
BREAK IT UP!
227
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,693
COME ON, BACK IT UP!
228
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,429
Sergeant: COME ON,
LET'S TAKE THIS OUTSIDE.
229
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:38,063
GET IT OUTSIDE!
230
00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:40,866
HEY, ROSIE, DO YOU
THINK YOUR SISTER
231
00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:43,668
MIGHT LIKE
TO COME HOME WITH ME TONIGHT?
232
00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:52,444
ANDY, LET ME ASK
YOU A QUESTION.
233
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:53,946
BE HONEST WITH ME,
WOULD YOU?
234
00:11:53,946 --> 00:11:54,947
SURE.
235
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:02,955
WHAT'S THE LONGEST
YOU AND HELEN
236
00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:05,090
HAVE EVER GONE
WITHOUT HAVING SEX?
237
00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:07,159
YOU MEAN
WITH EACH OTHER?
238
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:11,463
COME ON, MAN,
I'M SERIOUS.
239
00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:14,833
THE YEAR WE HAD PAULIE.
240
00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:16,335
WE WENT MOST
OF HOCKEY SEASON,
241
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:17,736
RIGHT UP
TO THE STANLEY CUP.
242
00:12:19,105 --> 00:12:21,407
WHY?
I DON'T KNOW.
243
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,741
OHH.
244
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,244
YOU HAVING PROBLEMS
IN THE BOODIERE DEPARTMENT?
245
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,750
IF YOU MEAN
THE BOUDOIR DEPARTMENT, I GUESS.
246
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,752
NOT MAJOR,
BUT I GUESS.
247
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:36,122
YOU KNOW, SHE'S WORKING A LOT.
I'M WORKING A LOT.
248
00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:38,491
UH, DAN, YOU'RE NOT
RINSING THEM RIGHT.
249
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:40,493
YOU GET A SPOT IF YOU
DON'T RINSE THEM RIGHT.
250
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,498
YOU KNOW, FOR SOMEBODY
WHO'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE KING OF HIS CASTLE,
251
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:48,367
YOU SURE KNOW AN AWFUL LOT
ABOUT WASHING DISHES.
252
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:50,736
I'M ALWAYS WATCHING
HELEN DO IT.
253
00:12:50,736 --> 00:12:52,237
YOU DON'T THINK
I'D TOUCH A DISH?
254
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:54,240
ONLY WITH YOUR TONGUE.
255
00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:58,811
ALL RIGHT, DANNY.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT TO DO.
256
00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:01,814
YOU SET
THE ALARM CLOCK FOR 4:00 A.M.
257
00:13:01,814 --> 00:13:03,315
YOU WAKE HER UP.
258
00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:06,318
YOU PUT ON A LITTLE
JULIO IGLESIAS MUSIC.
259
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:10,322
THEN YOU TREAT HER
260
00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:13,725
TO A, UH, MOONLIGHT
TANGO IN THE BUFF.
261
00:13:17,663 --> 00:13:19,665
ANDY, I'M TRYING
TO TALK TO YOU HERE.
262
00:13:19,665 --> 00:13:22,000
WHAT, WHAT?
SHE DOESN'T LIKE IT IN THE MORNING?
263
00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,069
ANDY, SHE GETS OFF
OF WORK AT 2:30 A.M.
264
00:13:24,069 --> 00:13:26,071
I'M SUPPOSED
TO WAKE HER UP AT 4:00
265
00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:27,572
AND SAY ROLL OVER
AND CHA-CHA?
266
00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:33,011
BUDDY, BUDDY, PAL,
THE WORST THING TO DO IS THINK ABOUT IT.
267
00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:35,080
THE MORE YOU THINK ABOUT IT,
THE MORE PRESSURE YOU FEEL.
268
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,082
THE MORE PRESSURE
YOU FEEL,
269
00:13:37,082 --> 00:13:38,583
THE LESS SPONTANEOUS
YOU FEEL.
270
00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:40,586
AND IF YOU AIN'T
SPONTANEOUS,
271
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:42,087
HOW YOU GOING
TO BE ROMANTIC?
272
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:45,256
SO TELL ME,
HOW BAD IS IT?
273
00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:46,324
LET ME
PUT IT THIS WAY.
274
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,327
I'M HAVING PROBLEMS
IN THE "BOODIERE" DEPARTMENT,
275
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,295
AND I'M DISCUSSING
IT WITH YOU.
276
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,640
YOU LOOK PRETTY
SHARP BACK THERE, SIS.
277
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,441
YOU GOT ANY IDEA
WHAT YOU'RE DOING?
278
00:14:03,442 --> 00:14:05,444
NOT A CLUE.
279
00:14:05,444 --> 00:14:07,446
BUT THAT'S ME
LATELY.
280
00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:08,947
LOST.
281
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:13,085
LOST IN THE FOG
THAT HAS BECOME MY LIFE.
282
00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:16,588
THE UNGRASPABLE
CLOUD THAT IS MY EXISTENCE.
283
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,090
YOU ALL RIGHT?
284
00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:20,125
YEAH, I'M FINE.
285
00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:22,594
WHAT'S THE UNGRASPABLE
CLOUD STUFF?
286
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:23,662
NOTHING.
287
00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:26,097
YOU GONNA STICK
AROUND FOR A WHILE?
288
00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:27,466
YOU WANT ME TO?
289
00:14:27,466 --> 00:14:28,567
IF YOU WANT TO.
290
00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:30,635
I WANT TO KNOW
WHAT'S WRONG, ROSEANNE.
291
00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:33,639
I'M A COP
AND WITHHOLDING INFORMATION IS A...
292
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:37,642
YOU KNOW,
IT'S--IT'S BAD.
293
00:14:40,679 --> 00:14:43,615
DAN'S BEEN WORKING
A LOT MORE THIS WINTER.
294
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,351
WELL, THAT'S GOOD,
ISN'T IT?
295
00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:46,919
YEAH. WELL...
296
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:51,423
LIKE HE'S GOT
THIS REALLY BIG JOB
297
00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:53,425
AT THIS RED VELVET
MASSAGE PARLOR.
298
00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:55,326
YOU KNOW?
YOU CAN IMAGINE WHAT THAT'S LIKE.
299
00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:57,262
OH, HAVE YOU SEEN
THE WOMEN WHO WORK DOWN THERE?
300
00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:59,765
THEY WALK AROUND
IN THESE SEE-THROUGH BODY STOCKINGS
301
00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:01,967
AND TACKY LITTLE
HIGH HEELS.
302
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:04,569
YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL
A LOT BETTER.
303
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:05,604
I'M KIDDING.
304
00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:08,674
I KNOW.
305
00:15:08,674 --> 00:15:10,742
I KNOW, BUT, UH...
306
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,244
DAN, YOU KNOW,
307
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,246
HE'S JUST BEEN
UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE LATELY.
308
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:16,748
YOU KNOW? HE--HE'S
LIKE PICKING AT ME
309
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,751
FOR THE LITTLE
TINIEST THINGS.
310
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:22,254
AND WE JUST...
WE GOT LIKE NO TIME TOGETHER.
311
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,256
YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN?
312
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,258
WELL, YOU'RE
BOTH WORKING LONG HOURS.
313
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,260
YOU'RE BOUND
TO GET CRANKY.
314
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:32,264
YEAH, AND IT'S...
HAVING AN EFFECT ON US.
315
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:35,533
SURE. HE GETS CRANKY,
YOU GET CRANKIER.
316
00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:37,602
WE'RE NOT HAVING SEX.
317
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:38,604
NO.
318
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,605
YES.
319
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,107
HOW LONG
HAS IT BEEN?
320
00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:43,608
WHAT MONTH IS THIS?
321
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:51,684
HAVE YOU TRIED
SETTING THE ALARM FOR 4:00 A.M.
322
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:54,186
AND...
323
00:15:54,186 --> 00:15:57,022
PUT ON A LITTLE
JAMES BROWN?
324
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:59,090
YOU GOT TO BE
KIDDING ME.
325
00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:01,593
WELL, WHAT'S
MORE IMPORTANT-- SEX OR SLEEP?
326
00:16:01,593 --> 00:16:04,596
WELL, I'M TOO TIRED
TO ANSWER THAT RIGHT NOW.
327
00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:08,299
I JUST THINK DAN...
HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE ME ANYMORE, YOU KNOW? I'M--
328
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,367
OHH.
329
00:16:09,368 --> 00:16:11,703
IT'S LIKE...I'M NOT,
YOU KNOW...
330
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,939
I'M NOT TURNING HIM ON.
331
00:16:13,939 --> 00:16:16,741
ROSEANNE, DAN LOVES YOU.
332
00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:18,310
I DON'T KNOW.
333
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,312
JUST SOMETHING'S WRONG,
YOU KNOW.
334
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:21,313
IT'S LIKE I'M DOING
SOMETHING WRONG.
335
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,315
IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T
EVEN WANT TO...
336
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,684
HE DOESN'T WANT
TO KISS ME ANYMORE.
337
00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:28,453
WAIT A SECOND. HOW COME
YOU AUTOMATICALLY THINK IT'S YOUR FAULT?
338
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:29,521
WELL, IT'S...
339
00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:32,457
BECAUSE IT IS.
340
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:34,293
WELL, HAVE YOU EVEN
TALKED TO HIM ABOUT IT?
341
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:36,862
NO! AND DON'T YOU SAY
NOTHING TO HIM, EITHER.
342
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:37,863
'CAUSE YOU KNOW
HOW HE GETS
343
00:16:37,863 --> 00:16:40,031
IF I GO TELLING YOU ALL
THIS PERSONAL STUFF.
344
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:42,601
YEAH, RIGHT. LIKE I'M
GOING TO GO TALK TO DAN
345
00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:44,102
ABOUT YOUR GUYS'
SEX LIFE.
346
00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:48,506
SHE THINKS YOU
DON'T LIKE HER ANYMORE.
347
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:49,875
JACKIE--
348
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:51,443
NOW, YOU THINK WHAT'S
BETWEEN YOU AND MY SISTER
349
00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:52,444
IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
350
00:16:52,444 --> 00:16:53,445
IF IT WASN'T FOR ME,
351
00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:55,947
SHE NEVER WOULD'VE
MARRIED YOU.
352
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,449
WHAT DID SHE
TELL YOU?
353
00:16:57,449 --> 00:16:58,450
SHE DIDN'T
TELL ME ANYTHING.
354
00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:01,286
IT'S JUST THAT
SHE'S MY SISTER AND I KNOW HER.
355
00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:05,624
WHY WOULD SHE THINK
I DON'T LIKE HER ANYMORE?
356
00:17:05,624 --> 00:17:08,126
I DON'T KNOW.
THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING--
357
00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:09,628
NOW, I'M JUST
THROWING SOME THINGS
358
00:17:09,628 --> 00:17:11,129
OFF THE TOP
OF MY HEAD HERE,
359
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,966
BUT COULD IT BE
THAT YOU'RE NOT MAKING LOVE TO HER?
360
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,534
NO, IT COULD NOT
BE THAT.
361
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,837
'CAUSE I CAN
ONLY SAY THAT, SPEAKING AS A WOMAN,
362
00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:21,840
NOTHING HURTS WORSE
THAN THINKING
363
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,809
THAT THE MAN YOU
LOVE ISN'T HOT FOR YOU ANYMORE.
364
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:27,846
DAN, I--I DON'T
WANT TO BRAG,
365
00:17:27,846 --> 00:17:30,849
BUT I HAVE BEEN
REJECTED BY MEN
366
00:17:30,849 --> 00:17:35,854
IN MANY, MANY, MANY,
MANY, MANY WAYS.
367
00:17:37,356 --> 00:17:41,860
BUT...CUTTING OFF
THE LOVE SUPPLY
368
00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:46,130
IS BY FAR THE
CRUELEST REJECTION OF THEM ALL.
369
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:49,200
I DIDN'T CUT OFF
THE LOVE SUPPLY.
370
00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:51,469
SHE CUT ME OFF.
371
00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:55,507
UH, BOTTOM LINE IS,
IT'S LAUNDRY DAY,
372
00:17:55,507 --> 00:18:00,011
AND I DON'T SEE US
THROWING ANY SHEETS IN THE MACHINE.
373
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:02,014
JACKIE, I APPRECIATE
YOUR CONCERN,
374
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:04,516
BUT WE CAN TAKE
CARE OF IT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
375
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:07,018
UH, AS YOU SEE, I'VE GOT
A LOT OF LAUNDRY TO DO.
376
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:09,855
WELL, BEFORE YOU WORRY
ABOUT CLEANING UP THE REST OF THE HOUSE,
377
00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:11,723
I'D STRAIGHTEN THINGS
OUT IN THE BEDROOM.
378
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:13,991
JACKIE, I GOT
A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
379
00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:17,562
DAN...SHE THINKS
YOU DON'T FIND HER ATTRACTIVE,
380
00:18:17,563 --> 00:18:20,065
AND SHE'S BLAMING
HERSELF.
381
00:18:34,746 --> 00:18:36,948
CAN YOU WATCH
THE KIDS FOR ME,
382
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,584
AND WOULD YOU PUT THAT
ON WARM/COLD?
383
00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:45,591
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. MAYBE
I WILL MOVE TO BOSTON.
384
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:01,706
HEY.
385
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:04,009
HEY, ROSIE. GET
THE LADY A WHITE RUSSIAN, PLEASE?
386
00:19:04,009 --> 00:19:06,011
CAN I GET A BEER
WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE?
387
00:19:06,011 --> 00:19:09,514
MY NAME'S TONY.
I'M IN NO HURRY.
388
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:10,916
DO YOU HAVE I.D.?
389
00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:14,753
THINK I LEFT IT
OUT BY MY HARLEY.
390
00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:16,654
I CAN GET IT
IF YOU WANT.
391
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,590
QUICK. WHAT YEAR
WERE YOU BORN?
392
00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:21,593
UH...UH...UH...'68.
393
00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:24,295
OK, YOU'LL PASS.
394
00:19:24,296 --> 00:19:26,698
NICE PLACE YOU GOT HERE.
395
00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:28,366
TONY, HUH?
396
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:29,434
WELL, ACTUALLY,
IT'S ANTHONY,
397
00:19:29,434 --> 00:19:32,770
BUT THE GUYS
THAT OWE ME MONEY CALL ME TONY.
398
00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:42,981
MIND IF I ASK
YOUR NAME?
399
00:19:42,981 --> 00:19:44,816
IT'S AMELIA.
400
00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:50,255
AMELIA. THAT'S
A VERY PRETTY NAME.
401
00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:52,690
IT'S MILLIE FOR SHORT.
402
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:55,627
MILLIE. THAT'S NICE.
THAT'S NICE, TOO.
403
00:19:57,629 --> 00:19:59,631
THIS IS A NICE TOWN,
MILLIE.
404
00:20:00,632 --> 00:20:03,134
YEAH, IT KIND OF
GROWS ON YOU--
405
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:05,137
YOU KNOW, LIKE MOLD.
406
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:06,638
I LIKE IT HERE.
407
00:20:06,638 --> 00:20:08,139
YOU'RE NOT FROM HERE?
408
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:11,042
ACTUALLY, THIS IS
MY FIRST TIME IN THE AREA.
409
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,477
WHAT DO YOU DO?
410
00:20:12,477 --> 00:20:14,479
A LITTLE BIT
OF EVERYTHING.
411
00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:17,982
OH. ONE OF THOSE
INTERNATIONAL BANKER/
412
00:20:17,983 --> 00:20:22,487
NEUROSURGEON/
TEST PILOT/COWBOY KIND OF GUYS, HUH?
413
00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:24,990
BASICALLY.
414
00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:33,498
YOU'RE OUT KIND OF LATE
FOR A WORKING MAN.
415
00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:37,001
WELL, WHEN YOU
WANT SOMETHING,
416
00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:39,004
YOU GOT TO MAKE
SACRIFICES.
417
00:20:40,839 --> 00:20:42,841
YOU GOING TO STAY LONG?
418
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:49,848
WELL, I WAS THINKING
ABOUT HITTING THE ROAD SOON,
419
00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:52,851
BUT, UH...I MIGHT
BE CHANGING MY MIND.
420
00:20:54,353 --> 00:20:56,655
CHANGING MY WAYS.
421
00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:58,456
CHANGING MY STYLE.
422
00:20:58,457 --> 00:21:00,826
CHANGING MY LIFE.
423
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:04,196
CHANGING YOUR SHORTS.
424
00:21:09,167 --> 00:21:11,369
YOU GOT A NICE SMILE.
425
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:13,939
AND YOU HAVE THE WARMEST,
MOST BEAUTIFUL EYES
426
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,440
I'VE EVER SEEN
IN MY LIFE.
427
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,443
REALLY?
428
00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:20,211
YOU KNOW HOW...
429
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:22,981
WHEN YOU MEET SOMEBODY,
430
00:21:22,981 --> 00:21:25,984
SUDDENLY YOU FEEL
VERY CLOSE TO THEM,
431
00:21:25,984 --> 00:21:28,987
AS IF YOU'D KNOWN THEM
YOUR WHOLE LIFE?
432
00:21:30,422 --> 00:21:31,723
YEAH.
433
00:21:31,723 --> 00:21:33,991
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?
434
00:21:33,992 --> 00:21:35,860
YEAH.
435
00:21:35,861 --> 00:21:37,362
EVER HAPPEN TO YOU?
436
00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:41,366
NO, BUT I'M ONLY 20.
437
00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:45,703
EVER HAPPEN TO YOU?
438
00:21:45,704 --> 00:21:47,005
YES.
439
00:21:47,005 --> 00:21:48,239
WHEN?
440
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,242
ABOUT THREE MINUTES AGO.
441
00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:51,610
YOU FLIRTING WITH ME?
442
00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:53,044
I'M TRYING.
443
00:21:54,346 --> 00:21:55,847
WELL, KEEP GOING.
444
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:59,351
WHAT TIME YOU GET OFF WORK?
445
00:21:59,351 --> 00:22:01,286
BAR CLOSES AT 2:00.
446
00:22:03,288 --> 00:22:05,790
SCRAM, JOE.
447
00:22:05,791 --> 00:22:08,293
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU WAS MARRIED.
448
00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:11,496
I AM MARRIED.
449
00:22:14,032 --> 00:22:15,933
I LOVE YOU, ROSEANNE.
450
00:22:15,934 --> 00:22:17,568
I LOVE YOU, TOO,
DAN.
451
00:22:17,569 --> 00:22:19,103
I WANT TO BE WITH YOU.
452
00:22:19,104 --> 00:22:21,172
HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
453
00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:30,348
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN,
LIZZIE.
454
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:41,426
I NEED TO BE WITH YOU.
455
00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:42,326
ARE WE PARKED CLOSE?
456
00:22:42,327 --> 00:22:43,328
REAL CLOSE.
457
00:22:43,328 --> 00:22:45,330
GOOD.
458
00:22:45,330 --> 00:22:47,832
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--
459
00:23:27,539 --> 00:23:30,542
DO YOU WANT TO
COME HOME WITH ME?
460
00:23:30,542 --> 00:23:33,044
GIVE ME A BREAK.
461
00:23:33,094 --> 00:23:37,644
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