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1
00:00:05,504 --> 00:00:07,439
Jim: Ok, this is
kind of just for a goof.
2
00:00:07,473 --> 00:00:08,807
Uh, for the last
couple of years,
3
00:00:08,841 --> 00:00:11,276
I've been doing kind
of a gaslight number on trudy wiegel,
4
00:00:11,310 --> 00:00:14,178
Making her think
she's even crazier than she already is.
5
00:00:14,213 --> 00:00:16,715
Uh, and the latest thing
I've been doing is, uh,
6
00:00:16,749 --> 00:00:18,116
Lately I've been
telling her,
7
00:00:18,150 --> 00:00:19,751
"oh, you know how
the showers are haunted, right?"
8
00:00:19,785 --> 00:00:21,452
And she's really
starting to buy it.
9
00:00:21,487 --> 00:00:22,987
She's on her way down
to take a shower.
10
00:00:23,022 --> 00:00:25,724
I'm going to do the old
"hey, ghost of the shower."
11
00:00:25,758 --> 00:00:28,326
We'll get her good.
12
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:29,895
How's it look?
13
00:00:29,929 --> 00:00:31,796
- Good?
- Great.
14
00:00:31,830 --> 00:00:33,031
[trudy whistling]
15
00:00:33,065 --> 00:00:36,234
Oh, hey, joe. What are you
doing in the gals' showers?
16
00:00:36,268 --> 00:00:38,102
You want to
see me shower up?
17
00:00:38,137 --> 00:00:40,372
[moaning]
aah!
18
00:00:40,406 --> 00:00:41,739
Aah, mother fucker!
19
00:00:41,774 --> 00:00:45,376
[both screaming]
20
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:48,613
Police department, freeze!
Get on the ground!
21
00:00:48,647 --> 00:00:49,647
[yelling]
22
00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:51,482
[gunshots]
23
00:00:55,488 --> 00:00:56,821
[gunshots]
24
00:00:57,956 --> 00:00:59,758
What? What?
25
00:00:59,792 --> 00:01:02,093
[gunshots]
all right.
26
00:01:02,127 --> 00:01:05,097
[grunting and yelling]
27
00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:07,065
There's a tornado.
No, no.
28
00:01:08,801 --> 00:01:11,102
Girls: Hell, no,
we won't blow!
29
00:01:12,738 --> 00:01:13,772
Yeah!
30
00:01:13,806 --> 00:01:15,807
No, no, no.
He's my friend.
31
00:01:15,841 --> 00:01:17,776
Hey.
Hey, [indistinct]
32
00:01:17,810 --> 00:01:20,478
Now!
33
00:01:20,512 --> 00:01:22,513
Right on the ground.
Put it right on the ground.
34
00:01:29,488 --> 00:01:30,454
Trudy: I have a question.
35
00:01:30,489 --> 00:01:32,790
Jim: Hands! We do hands.
36
00:01:34,126 --> 00:01:36,427
Jim: And then you wait
until you're called upon.
37
00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:38,696
Travis.
38
00:01:42,668 --> 00:01:44,636
Who the fuck has been
sticking their weiner
39
00:01:44,670 --> 00:01:47,005
In their god damn
weiner in the peanut butter?
40
00:01:49,441 --> 00:01:53,611
Look, I don't want to turn
this into some kind of damn dick measuring contest,
41
00:01:53,645 --> 00:01:56,247
But, unfortunately, that's
exactly what it calls for.
42
00:01:56,282 --> 00:02:00,252
Nobody? Nobody's been
sticking their weiner in the peanut butter?
43
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:03,021
Do you have some sort
of supportive evidence
44
00:02:03,055 --> 00:02:04,789
To corro--
45
00:02:06,625 --> 00:02:08,626
Jones. What's up?
46
00:02:08,661 --> 00:02:11,662
Ugh...
It was a joke.
47
00:02:11,697 --> 00:02:13,931
It was a, um...
48
00:02:13,966 --> 00:02:15,399
Chocolate in
the peanut butter,
49
00:02:15,434 --> 00:02:17,101
Peanut butter in
my chocolate kind of--
50
00:02:17,135 --> 00:02:18,303
Can I--can I say
something about that?
51
00:02:18,337 --> 00:02:19,570
- Sure--
- I love a joke.
52
00:02:19,605 --> 00:02:22,640
Something like this
is not funny.
53
00:02:22,674 --> 00:02:23,942
I know that now!
54
00:02:23,976 --> 00:02:25,043
Unless you take
a picture of it
55
00:02:25,077 --> 00:02:26,278
Or put it on youtube
or something.
56
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,646
Travis: Fuck your--
fuck your own food!
57
00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:31,816
Fuck your own food.
Fuck your own food.
58
00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:34,085
If it ain't got your name
on it in the fridge,
59
00:02:34,119 --> 00:02:35,387
Don't fuck it!
60
00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:37,289
Jim: I would take that
policy one step further
61
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:40,024
And say--let's not
fuck food.
62
00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:42,761
That's not what
I meant to happen here.
63
00:02:42,795 --> 00:02:44,195
That's not what I intended.
64
00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:45,396
Man on p.A.:
Lieutenant dangle?
65
00:02:45,431 --> 00:02:47,131
Mayor hernandez
here to see you.
66
00:02:47,933 --> 00:02:49,500
Mr. Mayor.
67
00:02:51,036 --> 00:02:53,571
Hey, good morning--
afternoon.
68
00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:54,572
Jim: Good morning.
69
00:02:54,606 --> 00:02:56,708
Mayor: Uh, ok...
70
00:02:56,742 --> 00:02:58,376
You got those steaks
I sent--I sent you guys?
71
00:02:58,410 --> 00:03:00,678
Thank you very much.
Thank you so much.
72
00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:02,313
Mayor: Randy took care of--
73
00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:03,315
Melt in your mouth.
74
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,616
Travis: We took
care of that thing.
75
00:03:04,650 --> 00:03:06,718
Yep.
76
00:03:06,752 --> 00:03:08,052
- Nobody...
- Nope.
77
00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:09,754
Mayor: All right.
Jim: Didn't happen.
78
00:03:09,788 --> 00:03:11,155
In the next few weeks,
79
00:03:11,189 --> 00:03:14,658
You're going to hear
a lot of loose talk, just a lot of talk.
80
00:03:14,693 --> 00:03:17,729
A lot of allegations,
which anybody can make an allegation, really?
81
00:03:17,763 --> 00:03:19,964
Anyone can say you...
82
00:03:22,401 --> 00:03:25,370
Like rough sex,
like you--I--I--
83
00:03:25,404 --> 00:03:27,805
So the allegations,
the finger-pointings,
84
00:03:27,839 --> 00:03:29,441
The semen--
85
00:03:30,309 --> 00:03:33,678
Those roads
don't lead to me.
86
00:03:33,712 --> 00:03:35,145
[applause]
87
00:03:35,180 --> 00:03:37,048
They don't lead to me.
88
00:03:37,082 --> 00:03:38,182
Jim: No!
Not to you.
89
00:03:38,217 --> 00:03:43,655
So follow my lead.
Keep your mouths shut.
90
00:03:43,689 --> 00:03:45,890
And keep
your heads down.
91
00:03:45,925 --> 00:03:51,529
Together--we are
stronger together.
92
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,331
There's not a bond.
There's not no one.
93
00:03:53,365 --> 00:03:56,601
There's not law,
there's no subpoena that can bust--
94
00:03:56,635 --> 00:03:58,169
You--go and do it.
Believe in it.
95
00:03:58,203 --> 00:03:59,670
That can bust this.
96
00:03:59,705 --> 00:04:02,006
That can bust us.
97
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,508
That can--thank you.
98
00:04:03,542 --> 00:04:05,643
Thank you very mu--
99
00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:09,180
Hang onto that for me
brother, please.
100
00:04:09,214 --> 00:04:11,148
Good-bye. Good day.
101
00:04:12,618 --> 00:04:14,552
Which way is out?
Over here?
102
00:04:18,357 --> 00:04:19,557
Raineesha: What the hell?
103
00:04:20,459 --> 00:04:22,426
Something's
dripping out of it.
104
00:04:22,461 --> 00:04:23,395
Is it dripping? Really?
105
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:24,028
Yeah, something's
dripping out of it.
106
00:04:24,062 --> 00:04:25,130
Yeah, it is,
a little bit.
107
00:04:29,801 --> 00:04:31,636
No, no, no.
What the hell?
108
00:04:31,670 --> 00:04:33,838
No, no, no.
109
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:34,839
What?
110
00:04:34,873 --> 00:04:36,740
Uh...
3 guesses.
111
00:04:36,775 --> 00:04:40,144
Uh, apple,
orange, grapes. [laughs]
112
00:04:41,380 --> 00:04:42,413
Um, I don't
understand.
113
00:04:42,447 --> 00:04:43,914
Wrong, wrong, and wrong.
114
00:04:43,949 --> 00:04:46,451
You going to audition?
[laughs] you guys--
115
00:04:46,485 --> 00:04:49,454
No, you're--this
is only for women-- women and young girls.
116
00:04:49,488 --> 00:04:52,557
And--and you're doing
this as a service to the--the community?
117
00:04:52,591 --> 00:04:53,758
Yeah, just holding
auditions, you know?
118
00:04:53,792 --> 00:04:56,728
We--it's been--it's
been a few--a few days of auditioning,
119
00:04:56,762 --> 00:04:58,196
But when we get--
when I get my--my--
120
00:04:58,230 --> 00:05:00,365
How long you been
holding auditions there, stu?
121
00:05:00,399 --> 00:05:03,935
I don't even--
I don't keep track because this is art.
122
00:05:03,969 --> 00:05:05,036
Art isn't
a science, you know?
123
00:05:05,070 --> 00:05:05,970
27 months.
124
00:05:06,004 --> 00:05:06,871
Yeah,
around there.
125
00:05:06,905 --> 00:05:08,606
That would be 2--
a little over 2 years.
126
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,241
27 calls for--for a while,
127
00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:13,211
But this last one
was just about a girl that all you did
128
00:05:13,245 --> 00:05:14,812
Was--was stretch her out.
129
00:05:14,847 --> 00:05:17,581
Well, yes. That is--
ballet is--
130
00:05:17,616 --> 00:05:19,149
- No, don't, don't--
- don't even--
131
00:05:19,184 --> 00:05:20,752
Don't--don't do that.
Ballet is--
132
00:05:20,786 --> 00:05:21,819
Don't film that.
133
00:05:21,853 --> 00:05:25,990
Ballet is
99% limberness.
134
00:05:26,025 --> 00:05:28,993
What's the other
percent?
135
00:05:29,027 --> 00:05:30,261
Flair.
136
00:05:30,295 --> 00:05:31,729
Aw, shit.
137
00:05:33,465 --> 00:05:36,634
Hey, is this where
the nutcrackauditions is at?
138
00:05:36,668 --> 00:05:38,436
Um...Yes.
139
00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:41,072
"auditions
fnutcracker suite,
140
00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:43,774
"3600 telfair--"
yeah.
141
00:05:43,809 --> 00:05:46,611
- "come ready to move--"
- yes.
142
00:05:46,645 --> 00:05:47,712
"partial nudity required."
143
00:05:47,746 --> 00:05:49,179
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
144
00:05:54,553 --> 00:05:55,787
How you doin', terry?
145
00:05:55,821 --> 00:05:57,555
- Terry?
- Hi, guys. How are you?
146
00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:59,924
- I'm on the phone.
- Uh, not great.
147
00:05:59,959 --> 00:06:00,925
Why? What happened?
148
00:06:00,959 --> 00:06:02,092
Um, it's 4 a.M.,
149
00:06:02,127 --> 00:06:03,694
And we're getting
repeated calls
150
00:06:03,728 --> 00:06:04,896
From people
around the area
151
00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:07,065
Saying that you're
talking really loud out here.
152
00:06:07,099 --> 00:06:08,265
- What?
- And singing.
153
00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:10,401
You guys--not me.
154
00:06:10,435 --> 00:06:11,735
- Not me.
- Yeah, you.
155
00:06:11,770 --> 00:06:13,270
No, adam!
156
00:06:13,305 --> 00:06:14,939
Ok--
don't you dare.
157
00:06:14,973 --> 00:06:15,840
- I will blow on it.
- All right.
158
00:06:15,874 --> 00:06:17,475
I will suck
and blow on it.
159
00:06:17,509 --> 00:06:18,843
- You'll suck? Ok.
- You'll suck nothing.
160
00:06:18,877 --> 00:06:20,644
He runs a candle store,
he runs a candle store.
161
00:06:20,679 --> 00:06:21,712
- Fantastic.
- Yeah.
162
00:06:21,747 --> 00:06:23,314
- Barry, what do you want?
- Terry--
163
00:06:23,348 --> 00:06:25,116
I will get you coke.
164
00:06:25,150 --> 00:06:26,383
You--whoa! Whoa!
165
00:06:26,418 --> 00:06:28,018
- No! He's--
- whoa! What?
166
00:06:28,053 --> 00:06:29,354
He doesn't like pepsi.
167
00:06:29,388 --> 00:06:32,356
Mikey! Don't you--
168
00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:35,159
Don't avoid me.
You're avoiding me and you know it!
169
00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:37,661
- Let's use our
4 a.M. Voice. - You know it!
170
00:06:37,696 --> 00:06:39,864
- Let's use our--
- I will cut you with a knife.
171
00:06:39,898 --> 00:06:40,865
Ok.
Whoa, ok.
172
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,067
No mikey's made
out of cake.
173
00:06:43,101 --> 00:06:44,268
- It's fine. It's made out of c.
- Ok. Fantastic.
174
00:06:44,303 --> 00:06:45,737
Mike is made
out of cake?
175
00:06:45,771 --> 00:06:46,971
Who's "r"?
Who's "r"?
176
00:06:47,005 --> 00:06:53,778
It stands for
te--ryyyy...
177
00:06:53,812 --> 00:06:55,779
That--that doesn't
make sense, terry.
178
00:06:55,814 --> 00:06:57,315
Oh, my gosh.
179
00:06:57,349 --> 00:06:58,416
That guy has a tornado!
180
00:06:58,450 --> 00:06:59,850
- There's a tornado!
- No, no, no!
181
00:06:59,884 --> 00:07:00,852
Terry--
182
00:07:00,886 --> 00:07:02,186
- No, terry. Slow down--
- terry!
183
00:07:05,991 --> 00:07:08,092
We've been following
this, uh, cadillac xlr
184
00:07:08,126 --> 00:07:09,694
For about, uh, 6 miles.
185
00:07:09,728 --> 00:07:10,862
Obvious d.U.I.
186
00:07:10,896 --> 00:07:11,929
Swerving all over
the place.
187
00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:13,030
Oh, look at that.
188
00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:14,198
[car door slams]
sir?
189
00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:17,034
Sir?
190
00:07:17,069 --> 00:07:18,869
Miss?
191
00:07:18,904 --> 00:07:20,471
- How you doing tonight, ma'am?
- How you doing tonight?
192
00:07:20,505 --> 00:07:21,572
Can you roll the window
down?
193
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:22,840
- I'm stuck!
- Are you trapped?
194
00:07:22,874 --> 00:07:25,643
Did you have any
drugs or alcohol tonight, ma'am?
195
00:07:25,677 --> 00:07:27,245
I can't hear you!
196
00:07:27,279 --> 00:07:28,846
Yes, you can,
because I can hear you.
197
00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:29,947
So you can obviously
hear me.
198
00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:31,415
No, I can't.
199
00:07:31,449 --> 00:07:33,717
Travis? It's, uh,
bunny hernandez.
200
00:07:33,752 --> 00:07:34,918
[door dinging]
201
00:07:34,953 --> 00:07:35,920
- That's the
mayor's wife. - Shutup!
202
00:07:35,954 --> 00:07:37,455
It's the mayor's wife.
203
00:07:37,489 --> 00:07:38,456
Ah, shit.
204
00:07:38,490 --> 00:07:39,724
Ok, you good?
You good?
205
00:07:39,758 --> 00:07:41,659
Where's my husband?
206
00:07:41,694 --> 00:07:42,726
You think you can drive?
207
00:07:42,761 --> 00:07:44,361
Are you my husband?
208
00:07:44,396 --> 00:07:45,363
No, no, no.
209
00:07:45,397 --> 00:07:47,198
Mrs. Hernandez,
mrs. Hernandez, mrs. Hernandez--
210
00:07:47,232 --> 00:07:48,232
- That's ok.
- Mrs. Hernandez.
211
00:07:48,266 --> 00:07:49,534
She's full of fun.
212
00:07:49,568 --> 00:07:51,369
I gotta go
to tahoe.
213
00:07:51,403 --> 00:07:53,404
Uh...
Shit.
214
00:07:53,438 --> 00:07:55,506
- Whoa!
- Unh! Jesus christ.
215
00:07:55,540 --> 00:07:57,708
Bunny? You're
married to a very powerful man.
216
00:07:57,743 --> 00:07:59,209
- Very powerful.
- He stinks.
217
00:07:59,244 --> 00:08:00,278
- He is our boss.
- He's a mexican.
218
00:08:00,312 --> 00:08:01,478
He is a latino
gentleman,
219
00:08:01,513 --> 00:08:03,080
But he is still
our boss.
220
00:08:03,114 --> 00:08:05,216
- You came up a long way.
- Yeah.
221
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:07,385
Remember, bunny,
who used to do
222
00:08:07,419 --> 00:08:09,286
- The amateur--yep.
- Yeah.
223
00:08:09,321 --> 00:08:11,021
- Yeah, those things?
- That was real good.
224
00:08:11,056 --> 00:08:12,289
You don't have
to do that anymore.
225
00:08:12,323 --> 00:08:13,524
You don't have to do that.
You got a real nice house,
226
00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:15,493
- You are like--
- got a nice, new cadillac,
227
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:17,928
I got a baby coming.
228
00:08:19,664 --> 00:08:20,898
They keys went up
her bottom crack.
229
00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:23,067
Let's just leave her here.
Oh, yeah!
230
00:08:23,102 --> 00:08:24,602
I gotta take a piss.
231
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:26,070
No--ok.
232
00:08:27,505 --> 00:08:28,606
She's poopin'.
233
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:31,308
Oh, I'm making
a mess.
234
00:08:32,477 --> 00:08:34,112
Take--take your brit--
your drawers off.
235
00:08:34,146 --> 00:08:36,647
- No rush.
- Did you take your panties off?
236
00:08:36,681 --> 00:08:38,983
I don't know.
Not wearing any.
237
00:08:39,017 --> 00:08:40,417
- Ok.
- All right.
238
00:08:40,452 --> 00:08:41,385
I gotta go.
239
00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:43,087
We're just gonna
escort you to tahoe.
240
00:08:43,121 --> 00:08:44,155
- Ow!
- Oh, crap.
241
00:08:44,189 --> 00:08:45,756
It's only about
6 miles.
242
00:08:45,790 --> 00:08:47,324
Ok, in we go.
Ok.
243
00:08:47,358 --> 00:08:51,062
In we go,
in we go.
244
00:08:51,096 --> 00:08:52,563
Now, bunny--
245
00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:54,298
Bunny?
246
00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:56,334
Hey, bunny?
A nice lady doesn't finger herself
247
00:08:56,368 --> 00:08:57,401
In the back seat.
248
00:08:57,435 --> 00:08:59,837
- Bunny? Bunny?
- Where am I?
249
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:00,938
Would princess diana
250
00:09:00,972 --> 00:09:01,839
Be fingering herself
in the back seat?
251
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,174
No.
252
00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:05,009
And you're our
princess di.
253
00:09:11,248 --> 00:09:14,617
[speaking haltingly]
hola. Yo soy el official trudy wiegel.
254
00:09:14,651 --> 00:09:19,722
Recuerda, tu puede dejar
a tu bebe
255
00:09:19,757 --> 00:09:25,628
En cualquier estacion
de bomberos.
256
00:09:25,662 --> 00:09:31,333
En cualquier momento
que tu quieras
257
00:09:31,368 --> 00:09:35,671
Sin hacerte preguntas.
258
00:09:35,706 --> 00:09:42,111
Gracias por su tiempo
atencion a este anuncio.
259
00:09:47,351 --> 00:09:49,753
- Aw, man.
- Whoa, whoa!
260
00:09:52,790 --> 00:09:54,056
Damn.
261
00:09:55,993 --> 00:09:58,994
[whispers]
I'm not--I'm not really dead.
262
00:09:59,029 --> 00:10:02,198
Y'all be cool. Just be ,
and just play along wit?
263
00:10:02,232 --> 00:10:03,733
- What are you doing?
- No, listen, listen.
264
00:10:03,767 --> 00:10:06,135
I've been playing possum
for about an hour and a half no.
265
00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:08,571
I took this, um--
266
00:10:08,605 --> 00:10:10,873
These male enhancement,
you know,
267
00:10:10,907 --> 00:10:12,909
These--these things.
You know--
268
00:10:12,943 --> 00:10:15,645
You know, to get your--
your business going?
269
00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:16,913
And, you know,
I did that dumb thing
270
00:10:16,947 --> 00:10:19,215
Where I was like,
"oh, I'll just take 10."
271
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:22,685
And then I was like,
"oh, man! You pay by the hour h"
272
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,755
So, I finished.
I got, like, 9 more hours.
273
00:10:25,789 --> 00:10:28,224
And my--my member--
274
00:10:28,258 --> 00:10:29,592
My member is at full mast,
275
00:10:29,626 --> 00:10:31,561
You know what I'm saying?
And I can't get up.
276
00:10:31,595 --> 00:10:33,296
So I just thought
I'd play dead.
277
00:10:33,330 --> 00:10:35,031
You can't just be dead
for a little bit. If you wanna be--
278
00:10:35,065 --> 00:10:36,099
I've been dead
for an hour--
279
00:10:36,133 --> 00:10:38,200
You'd better be prepared
to be real dead.
280
00:10:38,234 --> 00:10:40,069
- Now, you can walk.
- Now, wait a minute.
281
00:10:40,103 --> 00:10:43,039
I asked politely
for you to work with my ruse.
282
00:10:43,073 --> 00:10:44,340
Just--just--
283
00:10:44,374 --> 00:10:45,741
Just pretend
to resurrect me,
284
00:10:45,776 --> 00:10:47,543
And I'll just crawl
out of here.
285
00:10:47,577 --> 00:10:49,845
Raineesha: Start coughing.
286
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,348
Do that 10 more times,
and I'll--
287
00:10:52,383 --> 00:10:54,083
Start coughing.
[coughs]
288
00:10:54,118 --> 00:10:56,419
- Oh! Well, yes!
- Whoa!
289
00:10:56,453 --> 00:10:57,553
Woman: Thanks!
[sobbing]
290
00:10:57,588 --> 00:10:59,088
He's gonna be
all right, ladies.
291
00:10:59,122 --> 00:11:01,324
I thought I was
dead!
292
00:11:01,358 --> 00:11:03,025
- That's all right.
- I thought I was dead!
293
00:11:03,060 --> 00:11:05,495
- That's ok.
- Oh, thank you!
294
00:11:05,529 --> 00:11:07,497
He's just still
a little stiff, I think,
295
00:11:07,531 --> 00:11:08,698
From being unconscious
for so long.
296
00:11:08,732 --> 00:11:10,533
Oh, thank you.
297
00:11:10,567 --> 00:11:11,834
I'm alive!
298
00:11:11,868 --> 00:11:13,502
- I'm alive!
- It's a miracle.
299
00:11:13,537 --> 00:11:14,838
Oh, you're rubbing--
you're rubbing against--
300
00:11:14,872 --> 00:11:16,139
The tip's rubbing!
301
00:11:22,112 --> 00:11:23,579
You want powdered sugar?
302
00:11:23,614 --> 00:11:25,281
Smi--uh, the mayor's
here. The mayor's here.
303
00:11:25,315 --> 00:11:26,348
- The mayor's here.
The mayor is-- - now?
304
00:11:26,382 --> 00:11:27,884
The mayor! Mayor!
[dog barks]
305
00:11:27,918 --> 00:11:29,452
What? Ah!
I'm assuming we're in big trouble.
306
00:11:29,486 --> 00:11:31,120
Smiles, smiles,
smiles! Ahem.
307
00:11:31,154 --> 00:11:33,723
Mayor hernandez!
308
00:11:33,757 --> 00:11:34,557
What a pleasant
surprise.
309
00:11:34,591 --> 00:11:36,292
What's up? What's happening?
310
00:11:36,326 --> 00:11:38,695
What, uh--
what an honor.
311
00:11:38,729 --> 00:11:40,029
You all right, there?
312
00:11:40,063 --> 00:11:41,664
Ok.
313
00:11:45,669 --> 00:11:46,903
Pleasure to see
you mr. Mayor.
314
00:11:46,937 --> 00:11:49,438
[laughs]
315
00:11:49,473 --> 00:11:52,608
You guys...
316
00:11:52,642 --> 00:11:57,046
You guys are...
317
00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,781
The best.
318
00:12:00,584 --> 00:12:01,850
The best.
319
00:12:01,885 --> 00:12:03,919
Give yourselves
a round of applause!
320
00:12:03,954 --> 00:12:05,821
You're so--
321
00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:08,391
So the best!
322
00:12:08,425 --> 00:12:09,992
[applauding slowly]
yeah!
323
00:12:10,027 --> 00:12:11,460
Yeah!
324
00:12:11,494 --> 00:12:15,030
I'm gonna show those
cock suckers.
325
00:12:15,065 --> 00:12:17,099
Those pinche pendejo
cock suckers--
326
00:12:17,133 --> 00:12:19,903
[slurring in spanish]
327
00:12:22,238 --> 00:12:25,374
That they don't have
nothing.
328
00:12:25,409 --> 00:12:26,943
They don't have nothing!
329
00:12:26,977 --> 00:12:30,546
They can have all their
court commissions,
330
00:12:30,580 --> 00:12:34,150
Apinche subpoenas,
and god damn--
331
00:12:34,952 --> 00:12:36,352
God damn set-ups.
332
00:12:36,387 --> 00:12:38,287
That's what they were.
Set-ups.
333
00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:41,557
With the fake chi-chis
and the thongs.
334
00:12:41,592 --> 00:12:44,660
Set-ups!
335
00:12:44,694 --> 00:12:46,762
We're all in this
together.
336
00:12:46,797 --> 00:12:49,332
When they shoot at me,
they shoot at you.
337
00:12:49,366 --> 00:12:51,234
When they allege me,
they allege you.
338
00:12:51,268 --> 00:12:54,270
We are all in this
together. Are--
339
00:12:54,304 --> 00:12:56,405
Are you with me?
Are you with me?
340
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,942
Do you believe
in what I'm saying?
341
00:13:00,444 --> 00:13:01,610
Sure.
Sure!
342
00:13:01,645 --> 00:13:03,178
[applauding]
sure, we do.
343
00:13:03,213 --> 00:13:05,815
- You do?
- Yes, we do!
344
00:13:05,849 --> 00:13:07,783
Sitting mayor.
345
00:13:07,818 --> 00:13:11,487
We can beat this.
346
00:13:11,522 --> 00:13:13,756
There's a light
at the end of the tl
347
00:13:13,791 --> 00:13:15,024
And those
cock suckers
348
00:13:15,058 --> 00:13:17,727
Cannot prove
anything.
349
00:13:17,761 --> 00:13:19,696
Because if I go
down--
350
00:13:19,730 --> 00:13:20,930
If I go down,
351
00:13:20,964 --> 00:13:23,298
Ok, we--we go down.
352
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:26,101
If you got my back,
353
00:13:26,136 --> 00:13:26,869
I got yours.
354
00:13:26,904 --> 00:13:28,504
Ok? That's how
it works.
355
00:13:28,539 --> 00:13:30,607
Thank you,
thank you.
356
00:13:33,243 --> 00:13:35,344
Get rid of that
thing for me, ok?
357
00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:36,812
Have a good day.
358
00:13:36,846 --> 00:13:37,446
You got my back?
359
00:13:37,481 --> 00:13:38,114
Yes, sir. Sure.
360
00:13:38,148 --> 00:13:38,881
You got my back?
361
00:13:38,915 --> 00:13:40,649
All: Yes, sir.
We got your back.
362
00:13:42,319 --> 00:13:43,987
Mayor hernandez.
363
00:13:45,589 --> 00:13:47,156
Get rid of this.
Get rid of this.
364
00:13:48,859 --> 00:13:50,025
Okey-doke.
365
00:13:50,060 --> 00:13:51,160
[gasping]
moving right along.
366
00:13:51,195 --> 00:13:53,162
Hey! Bup-up-up!
367
00:13:53,196 --> 00:13:54,963
- This--this has
been used-- - yes.
368
00:13:54,998 --> 00:13:57,033
- Recently.
- Very recently.
369
00:13:57,067 --> 00:13:57,800
- Ooh..
- Like in the station--
370
00:13:57,834 --> 00:13:59,134
Very recently.
371
00:13:59,169 --> 00:14:01,370
Trudy: His breath smelled
like my uncle carl
372
00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:04,273
Before he told me
"let's keep it between the two of us."
373
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,548
Uh, we're here
with the reno sheriff's department
374
00:14:12,582 --> 00:14:13,916
Brand-new e.D.I.R.
375
00:14:13,950 --> 00:14:16,285
That is a explosive device
interception robot.
376
00:14:16,319 --> 00:14:18,454
This damn thing
is state of the art.
377
00:14:18,488 --> 00:14:20,322
It is armed with a mini-14.
378
00:14:20,357 --> 00:14:22,592
Is has a cyber-neural
database.
379
00:14:22,626 --> 00:14:25,060
Also, it's got
thermal-optic camouflage
380
00:14:25,094 --> 00:14:29,098
And a 5-language oral
intercept transmitter.
381
00:14:29,132 --> 00:14:30,666
What that means is
we can give this damn thing
382
00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:32,434
Oral commands, and it'll do
anything we say.
383
00:14:32,468 --> 00:14:33,669
It's voice command?
384
00:14:33,704 --> 00:14:34,470
Voice command.
385
00:14:34,504 --> 00:14:35,271
I didn't know that part.
I thought--
386
00:14:35,305 --> 00:14:38,006
Robot, forward 5 feet.
387
00:14:38,041 --> 00:14:40,009
Oh! Ha ha!
388
00:14:40,043 --> 00:14:43,979
Robot,
back to position one.
389
00:14:44,014 --> 00:14:45,981
That is unbelie--
390
00:14:46,016 --> 00:14:48,517
Can--does it just
recognize your voice, like--
391
00:14:48,552 --> 00:14:50,720
Any voice, 5 languages.
Uh--
392
00:14:50,754 --> 00:14:51,620
- Can I--
- give it a shot.
393
00:14:51,655 --> 00:14:53,489
Oh.
Uh, robot,
394
00:14:53,523 --> 00:14:56,225
Turn to the left.
395
00:14:56,260 --> 00:14:57,460
Ha ha ha!
396
00:14:57,494 --> 00:15:00,262
Robot, come back.
397
00:15:00,296 --> 00:15:01,430
- Heh heh heh!
- That's pretty good, right?
398
00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:03,466
Also has a self-defense
mechanism.
399
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:04,767
Uh-huh.
400
00:15:05,735 --> 00:15:07,203
[machine gun fires]
oh!
401
00:15:07,237 --> 00:15:08,204
Whoa!
402
00:15:08,238 --> 00:15:10,306
Robot: Drop down
your weapon.
403
00:15:12,910 --> 00:15:15,644
You.
Take your top off.
404
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:18,614
Uh...
405
00:15:18,648 --> 00:15:19,782
Better do what he says,
kimball.
406
00:15:19,816 --> 00:15:20,983
That damn thing's armed.
407
00:15:21,017 --> 00:15:22,351
Uh--oh, jesus.
408
00:15:22,386 --> 00:15:23,786
Robot: For reals.
409
00:15:23,821 --> 00:15:25,655
Take your top off.
410
00:15:26,489 --> 00:15:29,859
For reals.
Take your top off.
411
00:15:32,128 --> 00:15:34,296
Oh, that's grea!
That's real fun!
412
00:15:34,331 --> 00:15:35,031
That's real fun!
413
00:15:35,065 --> 00:15:35,965
Oh, I see.
I see. Ha ha ha.
414
00:15:35,999 --> 00:15:37,200
That damn thing ain't oral
commanded at all.
415
00:15:37,234 --> 00:15:38,701
- Kimball's stupid.
- He did it back there.
416
00:15:38,735 --> 00:15:40,737
Kimball's stupid,
and this is a robot that speaks--
417
00:15:40,771 --> 00:15:42,805
Oof!
Oh.
418
00:15:51,113 --> 00:15:53,514
7-charlie-14, I'm here.
I'm goin' in.
419
00:15:53,548 --> 00:15:55,616
I'm sorry you have
to see this, joe.
420
00:15:55,651 --> 00:15:58,253
Believe it or not,
this is a front for a brothel.
421
00:15:58,287 --> 00:15:59,620
Makes me fucking sick.
422
00:15:59,655 --> 00:16:01,923
Hi, you here for one
of our little darlings?
423
00:16:01,957 --> 00:16:03,057
- Shut up!
- Oh!
424
00:16:03,091 --> 00:16:04,625
What the fuck is
wrong with you?
425
00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,226
- Fucking fight you, bitch!
- Oh, my god!
426
00:16:06,261 --> 00:16:07,929
All right, kids.
In the corner, now!
427
00:16:07,963 --> 00:16:09,130
Now, move!
428
00:16:09,164 --> 00:16:10,965
You make me fucking sick!
429
00:16:10,999 --> 00:16:12,500
Aah!
430
00:16:12,534 --> 00:16:14,402
- Aah!
- Shut up!
431
00:16:14,436 --> 00:16:15,703
There's a room in hell
432
00:16:15,737 --> 00:16:18,439
Where you're gonna be sucki'
on dahmer's balls you bitch!
433
00:16:18,473 --> 00:16:21,442
Man: Hello? I'm here
for candy.
434
00:16:21,476 --> 00:16:22,944
We don't do this
in my country,
435
00:16:22,978 --> 00:16:24,011
You piece of shit!
436
00:16:24,046 --> 00:16:26,014
Aah!
437
00:16:26,048 --> 00:16:27,615
[gunshots]
438
00:16:27,649 --> 00:16:29,150
Back in the patrol car!
439
00:16:29,184 --> 00:16:30,584
Dangle, on radio:
Uh, travis,
440
00:16:30,618 --> 00:16:32,786
We're still waiting for you
at this brothel over here.
441
00:16:44,566 --> 00:16:47,368
I used to date the guy
that lived right there.
442
00:16:47,402 --> 00:16:48,369
Oh, you don't say.
443
00:16:48,403 --> 00:16:50,571
Yeah, he's dead now.
Well--oh.
444
00:16:50,606 --> 00:16:51,639
Hey. How you doing?
445
00:16:51,673 --> 00:16:53,507
There's an intruder
in my bedroom.
446
00:16:53,542 --> 00:16:54,642
Calm down,
calm down.
447
00:16:54,676 --> 00:16:55,977
Keep your voice down
so we don't--
448
00:16:56,011 --> 00:16:57,211
Be careful, careful,
careful.
449
00:16:57,246 --> 00:16:58,712
Yes, somebody's broke in,
ok?
450
00:16:58,747 --> 00:16:59,848
Someone's in there, ok?
451
00:16:59,882 --> 00:17:02,182
I'm not sure, but I think
it might be...
452
00:17:02,217 --> 00:17:04,151
Georgia engel.
453
00:17:04,186 --> 00:17:06,420
You know, georgia
from the mary tyler moore show?
454
00:17:06,455 --> 00:17:08,122
Have you been--
have you actually s,
455
00:17:08,156 --> 00:17:08,990
Or you're just--
456
00:17:09,024 --> 00:17:10,024
Well, no, I'm too scared
to go in there.
457
00:17:10,058 --> 00:17:11,125
She's been
after me for years.
458
00:17:11,159 --> 00:17:13,127
She's never forgiven me
since betty white and I
459
00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:15,830
Did her hair years ago
when we were high on mushrooms.
460
00:17:15,864 --> 00:17:17,598
You know,
those are great tits.
461
00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:19,567
Thank you! Oh,
I love compliments.
462
00:17:19,601 --> 00:17:21,836
See? It all--
it ends up
463
00:17:21,870 --> 00:17:22,736
Being--you know--
464
00:17:22,771 --> 00:17:23,537
You like this?
465
00:17:23,572 --> 00:17:25,373
You remind me of one
of my stepdads.
466
00:17:25,407 --> 00:17:27,375
Yeah?
Did you know my mother?
467
00:17:27,409 --> 00:17:29,243
What was her name?
Trina johnson.
468
00:17:29,278 --> 00:17:31,145
Oh, my god. Was she
a stewardess for braniff--
469
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:33,314
Yes! Yes,
she was.
470
00:17:33,349 --> 00:17:35,449
Isn't this
a small world?
471
00:17:35,483 --> 00:17:36,918
She had, like,
a whole string of--
472
00:17:36,952 --> 00:17:37,985
Were you married
to her?
473
00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:39,920
No, but you know what
she did to me?
474
00:17:39,955 --> 00:17:41,589
She threw me out
of first class
475
00:17:41,623 --> 00:17:44,158
On the red-eye to jfk
one time
476
00:17:44,193 --> 00:17:45,726
When I was trying
to give dom deluise
477
00:17:45,761 --> 00:17:48,096
A handjob underneath
a blanket.
478
00:17:49,598 --> 00:17:51,666
It's just--I can't
believe her. Oh, god.
479
00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:52,933
And it was--
it was really awful.
480
00:17:52,968 --> 00:17:54,435
I had just come home
from a lovely dinner
481
00:17:54,469 --> 00:17:56,003
With my good friend
joan van ark,
482
00:17:56,037 --> 00:17:57,138
Who was in town
doing a speech--
483
00:17:57,172 --> 00:17:57,906
Tonight? You were at--
484
00:17:57,940 --> 00:18:00,875
No, this was 2 years ago,
kimball.
485
00:18:00,909 --> 00:18:02,576
Anyway, I come home
from that lovely dinner,
486
00:18:02,611 --> 00:18:04,913
And there--there it is.
Georgia engel's dump
487
00:18:04,947 --> 00:18:06,347
On my settee.
488
00:18:06,381 --> 00:18:07,748
And I said to myself,
"jeffrey de la costa,
489
00:18:07,782 --> 00:18:09,049
"you get the 'h'
out of here,
490
00:18:09,083 --> 00:18:11,018
"'cause it reeks!"
ok?
491
00:18:11,052 --> 00:18:12,053
Well, yeah.
Really bad.
492
00:18:12,087 --> 00:18:13,688
I'd have the place
fumigated.
493
00:18:13,722 --> 00:18:15,957
Ok. Um...
494
00:18:15,991 --> 00:18:17,558
Just to let you
know, the intruder--
495
00:18:17,593 --> 00:18:18,392
What'd she say?
496
00:18:18,426 --> 00:18:20,995
Is actually a wet-dry
vacuum cleaner
497
00:18:21,029 --> 00:18:22,329
With a blonde wig on it
498
00:18:22,364 --> 00:18:25,066
And a sticky magazine
laying on the bed.
499
00:18:34,075 --> 00:18:35,743
That's what she said.
500
00:18:35,777 --> 00:18:37,177
Ha ha ha!
501
00:18:37,211 --> 00:18:38,545
That's pretty funny.
502
00:18:38,579 --> 00:18:39,313
I know.
503
00:18:39,347 --> 00:18:40,780
Everyone remembers
his honor,
504
00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:43,083
Mayor hernandez?
505
00:18:43,118 --> 00:18:44,351
Hey.
506
00:18:52,493 --> 00:18:54,227
Somebody's gotta pay
the fiddler,
507
00:18:54,262 --> 00:18:54,961
All right?
508
00:18:54,995 --> 00:18:55,962
The fiddler,
it sounds innocent.
509
00:18:55,997 --> 00:18:57,464
A fiddler--
510
00:18:57,498 --> 00:18:58,865
It's a skinny dude
with the thing--
511
00:18:58,899 --> 00:19:00,800
[whistles]
512
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:02,736
You put money
in the hat.
513
00:19:02,770 --> 00:19:04,938
I gotta pay the fiddler
now.
514
00:19:06,641 --> 00:19:08,775
There's a word
in spanish
515
00:19:08,810 --> 00:19:10,143
That my grandmother
would say to me
516
00:19:10,177 --> 00:19:11,679
When I was a kid.
517
00:19:11,713 --> 00:19:14,247
It means brotherhood
and compassion.
518
00:19:14,282 --> 00:19:16,450
I can't think of it
right now.
519
00:19:18,186 --> 00:19:19,653
I want you guys
to know
520
00:19:19,687 --> 00:19:22,356
When I'm up there
in that dark,
521
00:19:22,390 --> 00:19:26,993
And they're feeding me
through a slot in the d,
522
00:19:27,028 --> 00:19:28,895
When I'm smelling
my own piss,
523
00:19:28,929 --> 00:19:30,530
Don't--
524
00:19:30,564 --> 00:19:33,066
Don't you say a word.
525
00:19:33,101 --> 00:19:34,835
My people will find you.
526
00:19:34,869 --> 00:19:36,636
They will find you.
You cannot hide.
527
00:19:36,671 --> 00:19:39,772
They will find you,
and they will destroy y.
528
00:19:39,807 --> 00:19:42,275
They will destroy you,
529
00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:45,845
And everything
that you love.
530
00:19:47,982 --> 00:19:51,318
Vaya con dios,
hermanos.
531
00:19:51,352 --> 00:19:53,653
I will see you
on the other side.
532
00:19:53,688 --> 00:19:55,722
Take care of this guy,
ok?
533
00:19:55,757 --> 00:19:58,025
This one here?
534
00:19:58,059 --> 00:19:59,827
- Nah, that's a 8.
- That's a 8?
535
00:19:59,861 --> 00:20:01,729
Yeah. I was in a hurry.
Ok.
536
00:20:01,763 --> 00:20:03,497
Done and done.
537
00:20:04,932 --> 00:20:07,667
Uh...Oh!
538
00:20:07,702 --> 00:20:10,404
I will see you
on the other side.
539
00:20:10,438 --> 00:20:10,871
Your honor.
540
00:20:10,905 --> 00:20:12,539
Viva la rasa.
541
00:20:16,844 --> 00:20:20,080
So what do we gotta do?
Kill that guy?
542
00:20:20,114 --> 00:20:21,982
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no,
543
00:20:22,017 --> 00:20:23,617
Travis.
544
00:20:23,651 --> 00:20:25,552
By no means.
545
00:20:25,587 --> 00:20:27,688
I didn't know you
could commit 7 felos
546
00:20:27,722 --> 00:20:29,757
In an hour and a half.
547
00:20:29,791 --> 00:20:30,957
Not driving
at that speed.
548
00:20:30,992 --> 00:20:32,726
- That's impressive.
- That's very impressive.
549
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:33,827
That's very impressive.
550
00:20:33,861 --> 00:20:35,996
You gotta have great
eye-hand coordination.
551
00:20:36,030 --> 00:20:39,232
He has a very
clinton-esque quality about him.
552
00:20:39,266 --> 00:20:40,334
Great public
speaker.
553
00:20:40,368 --> 00:20:43,102
And loves...
Loves to put--
554
00:20:43,137 --> 00:20:44,637
Loves to put his
dick in things.
555
00:20:44,672 --> 00:20:45,505
Yeah.
556
00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:48,074
Captioning made possible by
mtv networks
557
00:20:48,108 --> 00:20:49,309
Captioned by the national
captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org--
558
00:20:49,343 --> 00:20:50,910
Ya know what else was
up her asshole?
559
00:20:50,944 --> 00:20:51,978
Mints...
560
00:20:52,012 --> 00:20:53,979
And one of those
canadian loonies.
561
00:20:54,014 --> 00:20:55,481
Ya know, the 2 dollar
canadian coin?
562
00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:57,449
They ain't made
those in years.
563
00:20:58,785 --> 00:21:00,853
Looney...
Canadian looney.
564
00:21:02,156 --> 00:21:04,223
Goodnight mrs. Hernandez!
565
00:21:04,257 --> 00:21:06,091
She's really
our princess di.
566
00:21:06,125 --> 00:21:09,895
A sweet-- sweet girl if
you get her before like uh...
567
00:21:09,929 --> 00:21:11,297
- 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
- Yeah.
568
00:21:11,331 --> 00:21:12,331
Sweet as a little apple pie--
569
00:21:12,366 --> 00:21:13,899
And game.
570
00:21:13,933 --> 00:21:15,335
Game--
- more game-- did I say sweet?
571
00:21:15,369 --> 00:21:17,169
- I meant game.
- More game.
572
00:21:17,203 --> 00:21:18,504
Game for cock.
573
00:21:18,554 --> 00:21:23,104
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