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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,236 --> 00:00:05,470 [sirens wailing] 2 00:00:05,471 --> 00:00:07,172 - [both shouting through masks] 3 00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:08,473 - Open up! 4 00:00:08,474 --> 00:00:10,608 - Garcia! - Come on! 5 00:00:10,609 --> 00:00:12,844 Open the door! 6 00:00:12,845 --> 00:00:14,112 - What the hell? What?! 7 00:00:14,113 --> 00:00:17,348 - A cyanide truck just jackknifed in your neighborhood! 8 00:00:17,349 --> 00:00:18,416 Everybody's got to put these masks on! 9 00:00:18,417 --> 00:00:20,352 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 10 00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:21,953 I know what's going on, ladies. 11 00:00:21,954 --> 00:00:24,256 Get garcia to put on the stupid mask and run down 12 00:00:24,257 --> 00:00:26,024 The street in my underwear like some stupid monkey. 13 00:00:26,025 --> 00:00:29,828 - No! Nobody cares if you're in your underwear! 14 00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:31,630 - Just put it on! - No one cares! 15 00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:32,764 - You can tell dangle or whoever's behind this thing 16 00:00:32,765 --> 00:00:34,966 There ain't no cyanide truck in the... 17 00:00:38,070 --> 00:00:41,139 [captioning made possible by mtv networks] 18 00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:42,641 [siren] 19 00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:53,585 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 20 00:01:03,896 --> 00:01:05,197 - [cheering] 21 00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:08,533 - Ha ha ha! 22 00:01:11,236 --> 00:01:13,104 - Whoa! Ho! Ho! 23 00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:16,941 [siren] 24 00:01:16,942 --> 00:01:18,276 [tires screech] 25 00:01:21,981 --> 00:01:25,851 [bell ringing] 26 00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:28,152 - ♪ wake up, you sleepy heads, and put your thinking caps on, 27 00:01:28,153 --> 00:01:31,389 And come and learn to read with reading ron, it's all 28 00:01:31,390 --> 00:01:35,192 Just as easy as your abc's, and all of you at home can 29 00:01:35,193 --> 00:01:38,663 Read along with me, 'cause reno's little babies love 30 00:01:38,664 --> 00:01:41,833 Reading, reading, reno's little babies love reading 31 00:01:41,834 --> 00:01:45,303 With ron, reno's little babies love reading, reading, so come 32 00:01:45,304 --> 00:01:48,639 Along with us and read along with ron ♪ 33 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,209 - ♪ me ♪ 34 00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:53,345 Hi. Reading ron here. 35 00:01:53,346 --> 00:01:54,612 It's good to see all of you. 36 00:01:54,613 --> 00:01:57,249 You might remember we were reading about the adventures 37 00:01:57,250 --> 00:02:01,385 Of mr. Cop-a-feel and principal mctouches-too-much. 38 00:02:01,386 --> 00:02:03,988 Well, today, we're going to see some cops on the right 39 00:02:03,989 --> 00:02:05,556 Side of the law. 40 00:02:05,557 --> 00:02:07,525 We're here at the reno sheriff's department, 41 00:02:07,526 --> 00:02:09,661 And they're just starting this morning. 42 00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:12,230 Let's go see what they're doing. 43 00:02:12,231 --> 00:02:15,367 Hi. We're inside the reno sheriff's department, and I'm 44 00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:18,235 Being kind of quiet because this is where the urgent, 45 00:02:18,236 --> 00:02:21,505 Urgent business of the day is being taken care of. 46 00:02:21,506 --> 00:02:24,609 Let's listen in and see what they're talking about. 47 00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:36,254 Um...Let's meet this officer. 48 00:02:36,255 --> 00:02:38,356 Officer, what are you-- what--what are you wearing? 49 00:02:38,357 --> 00:02:39,658 First of all, you have shorts on. 50 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,393 - Uh, yes, I have shorts. 51 00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:43,261 - We wear shorts to the swimming pool, and we wear 52 00:02:43,262 --> 00:02:44,963 Them to the beach. 53 00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:46,130 Do you wear them to the-- 54 00:02:46,131 --> 00:02:47,132 The pool or the beach? 55 00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:48,700 - Oh, sure, when we're working 56 00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:51,736 On patrol, we have to go...To the beach. 57 00:02:51,737 --> 00:02:53,838 - Mm-hmm. - Often. 58 00:02:53,839 --> 00:02:55,072 - What do you find at the beach when you're there? 59 00:02:55,073 --> 00:02:56,407 - Uh, one-- 60 00:02:56,408 --> 00:03:01,579 Uh, the last time we were at, uh, the beach, uh, travis 61 00:03:01,580 --> 00:03:03,982 Stepped on a hypodermic needle. 62 00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:08,352 And, uh, he thought maybe he had contracted aids. 63 00:03:08,353 --> 00:03:10,221 - Ok, um... - I got off easy. 64 00:03:10,222 --> 00:03:12,924 I got hep, but, I mean, I considered myself lucky. 65 00:03:12,925 --> 00:03:14,091 - You know what? - It was just hep. 66 00:03:14,092 --> 00:03:15,327 - Could you stop for a second? 67 00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:17,095 Um...Yeah. 68 00:03:17,096 --> 00:03:19,764 If you'll find another word that would substitute... 69 00:03:19,765 --> 00:03:22,167 - I got it, I got it. I know. 70 00:03:22,168 --> 00:03:23,668 I'll tell the story again. 71 00:03:23,669 --> 00:03:24,703 I'll tell it again. 72 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:25,970 - So like use beach ball or something. 73 00:03:25,971 --> 00:03:27,472 This officer is wearing shorts, and sometimes he goes 74 00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:29,006 To the beach, I imagine. 75 00:03:29,007 --> 00:03:30,408 What do you find there? 76 00:03:30,409 --> 00:03:32,810 - The last time we were at the beach, travis stepped 77 00:03:32,811 --> 00:03:37,815 On a beach ball...And thought he had contracted aids. 78 00:03:37,816 --> 00:03:39,984 - You know what? Can we cut for a second? 79 00:03:39,985 --> 00:03:41,919 You are going to have to cover that. 80 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,454 Officer dangle, can we just cover that? 81 00:03:43,455 --> 00:03:44,823 - Your bosoms? Her bosoms? 82 00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:47,057 - Well, yeah, it's for children, and do you mind 83 00:03:47,058 --> 00:03:48,593 If I just--just-- 84 00:03:48,594 --> 00:03:49,861 - I mind. 85 00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:51,028 - Clemmy? 86 00:03:51,029 --> 00:03:52,397 - It's to just cover it up just a little bit. 87 00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:53,832 - If you want to touch 'em, you just say something later. 88 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:55,166 - Goddamn it, people! 89 00:03:55,167 --> 00:03:58,569 We had a fucking talk before reading ron came in, ok? 90 00:03:58,570 --> 00:04:00,738 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. 91 00:04:00,739 --> 00:04:02,239 - No, that's ok. Those are-- 92 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:03,441 Um, we call those awkward timeouts. 93 00:04:03,442 --> 00:04:04,942 - Ok. 94 00:04:04,943 --> 00:04:07,011 - Here's an officer who likes books for her children, 95 00:04:07,012 --> 00:04:09,547 And she reads them a lot with them, and I imagine their 96 00:04:09,548 --> 00:04:10,915 Father, too. 97 00:04:10,916 --> 00:04:13,117 - No. 98 00:04:13,118 --> 00:04:16,054 Well, no, not all of 'em, 'cause only like one of my 99 00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:20,825 Kid's daddies can--he can read good, you know? 100 00:04:20,826 --> 00:04:22,327 - That would be read well. 101 00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:27,265 - That's sometimes nice to have two daddies in a house. 102 00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:35,173 - Some people have two lesbian mothers or two gay dads. 103 00:04:35,174 --> 00:04:37,975 - And some kids are products of rape. 104 00:04:42,348 --> 00:04:43,281 - Um... 105 00:04:49,288 --> 00:04:50,921 Well, this is very exciting. 106 00:04:50,922 --> 00:04:54,325 Reading ron is in a police cruiser, and we've talked 107 00:04:54,326 --> 00:04:56,294 About this a lot. 108 00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:58,496 The cruiser cruises, and we roll. 109 00:04:58,497 --> 00:05:00,932 That's right, I'm with deputy junior. 110 00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:02,266 - How you doing? 111 00:05:02,267 --> 00:05:05,102 - Deputy junior is doing what we call rolling or cruising. 112 00:05:05,103 --> 00:05:06,537 We are rolling. 113 00:05:06,538 --> 00:05:08,706 Isn't that what they call it when they say, "let's roll"? 114 00:05:08,707 --> 00:05:13,277 - Uh, well, technically, rolling means you've taken ecstasy. 115 00:05:13,278 --> 00:05:15,847 Like when the kids will say, "are you rolling?" 116 00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:17,982 And that means that they already ingested a hit 117 00:05:17,983 --> 00:05:18,983 Of ecstasy. 118 00:05:18,984 --> 00:05:20,051 - I tell you... 119 00:05:20,052 --> 00:05:22,954 - And ecstasy does not start with an "x." 120 00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:25,089 - Can I just stop this for a second? 121 00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:28,092 We're rolling right now, and when we roll, we go down 122 00:05:28,093 --> 00:05:31,128 Streets, and we look and see what people are doing in their 123 00:05:31,129 --> 00:05:32,630 Yards and on the street. 124 00:05:32,631 --> 00:05:36,201 Some of them are watering their grasses, some people are-- 125 00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:37,969 - Got a prostitute right here. 126 00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:39,270 Uh-- 127 00:05:39,271 --> 00:05:41,806 - If we see a prostitute, just say, "a bucket. 128 00:05:41,807 --> 00:05:43,074 I saw a bucket." 129 00:05:43,075 --> 00:05:44,141 Or something-- 130 00:05:44,142 --> 00:05:45,877 - I saw a bucket. - A bucket. 131 00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:47,378 [sigh] 132 00:05:47,379 --> 00:05:48,512 - Oh, look, there's a bucket going 133 00:05:48,513 --> 00:05:50,515 Down on a puerto rican right there. 134 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,053 - Sheriff's department! 135 00:05:56,054 --> 00:05:57,555 We have a warrant! 136 00:05:57,556 --> 00:05:58,857 - Sheriff's department! 137 00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:01,625 We have a warrant for the arrest of mr. Yugioh fenab. 138 00:06:01,626 --> 00:06:04,529 Open the door, please! 139 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:07,432 We have a warrant for your arrest, fenab! 140 00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:08,866 - All right, freeze! Freeze! 141 00:06:08,867 --> 00:06:12,770 Mr.Fenab?! Mr.Fenab?! 142 00:06:15,073 --> 00:06:16,807 - Is he sleeping? 143 00:06:16,808 --> 00:06:17,809 - I got nothing. 144 00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:18,810 - He's dead. 145 00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:21,012 - Mr. Yugioh fenab, stay still! 146 00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:22,413 - Trudy, trudy, did you miss the part 147 00:06:22,414 --> 00:06:24,449 Where I said he was dead? 148 00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:25,816 I'll get a paramedic. 149 00:06:25,817 --> 00:06:29,754 Yeah, we got a cold one on our hands, and no blood, no signs 150 00:06:29,755 --> 00:06:31,389 Of trauma, nothing. 151 00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:33,124 Is his face yellowish? 152 00:06:33,125 --> 00:06:34,692 - Well... 153 00:06:34,693 --> 00:06:37,061 - Again, his name is mr. Fenab. 154 00:06:37,062 --> 00:06:39,531 So...Check his tongue. 155 00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:41,399 And what are we looking for in the tongue there? 156 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,767 - Ahh. 157 00:06:42,768 --> 00:06:43,802 - Like red dots? 158 00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:45,436 - Red like raised taste buds, yeah. 159 00:06:45,437 --> 00:06:46,704 - Yeah, I can stay on the line. 160 00:06:46,705 --> 00:06:48,339 [whispering] he's getting the c.D.C. 161 00:06:48,340 --> 00:06:49,373 - What's that? 162 00:06:49,374 --> 00:06:50,641 - Center for disease control. 163 00:06:50,642 --> 00:06:51,642 - Why? 164 00:06:51,643 --> 00:06:52,644 - Getting the c.D.C.? 165 00:06:52,645 --> 00:06:53,644 - Mm-hmm. 166 00:06:53,645 --> 00:06:54,712 Hey, yeah. Jim dangle here. 167 00:06:54,713 --> 00:06:56,981 Ohh. 168 00:06:56,982 --> 00:06:57,982 Oh. 169 00:06:57,983 --> 00:07:00,084 - Thanks, brian. Thanks, tim. 170 00:07:00,085 --> 00:07:03,888 All right, well, here's the deal. 171 00:07:03,889 --> 00:07:08,292 Basically, I just took a sample from the body. 172 00:07:08,293 --> 00:07:10,060 I got to quarantine this place. 173 00:07:10,061 --> 00:07:13,831 And I'm gonna send the sample off to atlanta, and that 174 00:07:13,832 --> 00:07:15,466 Takes 48 hours. 175 00:07:15,467 --> 00:07:17,668 - Oh. 176 00:07:17,669 --> 00:07:21,338 - Just for, uh, knowing, and how long till sars, 177 00:07:21,339 --> 00:07:26,610 Uh, takes effect and kills us if we have it? 178 00:07:26,611 --> 00:07:29,046 - Uh, 36 hours. 179 00:07:29,047 --> 00:07:32,450 I just read it in a book in the truck. 180 00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:34,084 Oh, I know. Oh, gosh. 181 00:07:34,085 --> 00:07:35,119 - That's what I'm trying-- 182 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,153 - I just did the math in my head. 183 00:07:36,154 --> 00:07:37,355 - We were all thinking the same thing. 184 00:07:37,356 --> 00:07:39,190 - Ohh, right. 185 00:07:39,191 --> 00:07:40,491 Ok. 186 00:07:40,492 --> 00:07:41,926 - Is there any way to expedite that? 187 00:07:41,927 --> 00:07:43,360 - Well, there's nothing I can do. 188 00:07:43,361 --> 00:07:46,597 Why don't I take those. I am gonna have to burn these. 189 00:07:46,598 --> 00:07:49,801 And thank you. 190 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:53,271 I probably--I probably should get yours as well. 191 00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:55,006 Right. 192 00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:56,074 Oh, wonderful. 193 00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:57,341 - Sorry about that, joe. 194 00:07:57,342 --> 00:07:58,642 - All right. 195 00:07:58,643 --> 00:08:02,179 Well, I will be back in a couple of hours, and you guys 196 00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:03,514 Sit tight. 197 00:08:03,515 --> 00:08:05,416 - Thank you, though. We appreciate it. 198 00:08:05,417 --> 00:08:08,185 - You know, I'd rather not shake your hand. 199 00:08:08,186 --> 00:08:09,954 Thanks, guys. 200 00:08:09,955 --> 00:08:11,221 - Thank you. 201 00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:18,595 How many days is 48 hours? 202 00:08:18,596 --> 00:08:19,630 - It's two days. 203 00:08:19,631 --> 00:08:21,365 - That's what I thought. - Two days. 204 00:08:21,366 --> 00:08:23,167 - Guys. Guys, guys, great news! 205 00:08:23,168 --> 00:08:24,168 Great news! 206 00:08:24,169 --> 00:08:25,169 - What? 207 00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:28,806 - The lady wolfpack is up by 10. 208 00:08:28,807 --> 00:08:31,742 You guys basketball fans? 209 00:08:31,743 --> 00:08:33,611 [siren] 210 00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:40,451 [siren] 211 00:08:40,452 --> 00:08:42,820 - You know, when you work in show business, junior, 212 00:08:42,821 --> 00:08:45,356 You feel the pressure at all times. 213 00:08:45,357 --> 00:08:49,127 You could be a star one day, like I am now. 214 00:08:49,128 --> 00:08:50,227 People know me-- 215 00:08:50,228 --> 00:08:51,829 - Or like you want to be one day. 216 00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:53,431 Right? 217 00:08:53,432 --> 00:08:54,899 I mean, I would say the radish 218 00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:56,501 Was a star, but like-- 219 00:08:56,502 --> 00:08:57,501 - No, the radish-- 220 00:08:57,502 --> 00:08:58,703 - Like, you show people a picture 221 00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:01,572 Of jim henson, most people, "who's that hippy?" 222 00:09:01,573 --> 00:09:03,207 Like you show 'em kermit the frog, they're like, 223 00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:05,309 "hey, kermit the frog. Whoo!" 224 00:09:05,310 --> 00:09:07,378 - No. The radish plays alongside me. 225 00:09:07,379 --> 00:09:09,346 The radish is a sidekick. 226 00:09:09,347 --> 00:09:10,647 I'm always with the radish. 227 00:09:10,648 --> 00:09:12,950 Every time you see the radish, you see me. 228 00:09:12,951 --> 00:09:15,653 - Looks like this guy's flagging me down here. 229 00:09:15,654 --> 00:09:16,720 - Yeah, you're gonna want to just keep rolling. 230 00:09:16,721 --> 00:09:17,955 - You need something, sir? 231 00:09:17,956 --> 00:09:19,123 - You know what? Just--just-- 232 00:09:19,124 --> 00:09:20,391 You know what? Just keep going. 233 00:09:20,392 --> 00:09:21,525 - You need something, sir? 234 00:09:21,526 --> 00:09:23,194 - Yeah. This one right there. 235 00:09:23,195 --> 00:09:24,328 - Me? 236 00:09:24,329 --> 00:09:26,897 - Hey, what's up, man? What's going on? 237 00:09:26,898 --> 00:09:27,898 - You know what? 238 00:09:27,899 --> 00:09:29,333 I think he has me mistaken for someone. 239 00:09:29,334 --> 00:09:30,335 You know me from-- 240 00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:31,368 - No, I know you. 241 00:09:31,369 --> 00:09:32,370 - You're mistaking him-- 242 00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:34,471 - He knows me from "reading ron." 243 00:09:34,472 --> 00:09:35,506 It happens to me. 244 00:09:35,507 --> 00:09:37,107 - Hey, ron steinberg. 245 00:09:37,108 --> 00:09:38,275 - Steinberg? 246 00:09:38,276 --> 00:09:39,811 Your last name's steinberg? 247 00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:40,978 - Let me talk--can I talk-- 248 00:09:40,979 --> 00:09:42,446 - Listen, motherfucker, you owe me. 249 00:09:42,447 --> 00:09:43,648 - Sir, please. 250 00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:44,882 - You owe me, motherfucker. 251 00:09:44,883 --> 00:09:45,883 - Outside of the vehicle, sir. Outside the vehicle. 252 00:09:45,884 --> 00:09:47,284 - I'm sorry, officer. 253 00:09:47,285 --> 00:09:48,519 - Goddamn it. Don't fucking-- 254 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:49,586 - What the fuck 255 00:09:49,587 --> 00:09:50,988 Is the matter with you, motherfucker? 256 00:09:50,989 --> 00:09:52,189 - I am getting my life back together again. 257 00:09:52,190 --> 00:09:53,190 You're-- 258 00:09:53,191 --> 00:09:55,125 - You owe me $200 motherfucking. 259 00:09:55,126 --> 00:09:56,294 - I don't owe you anything. 260 00:09:56,295 --> 00:09:57,962 You tell dale I did not give his sister herpes. 261 00:09:57,963 --> 00:10:01,265 I did not do that. 262 00:10:01,266 --> 00:10:02,533 I don't know. 263 00:10:02,534 --> 00:10:06,771 Sometimes fans get so enthusiastic, and it's 264 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,606 Uncomfortable for everybody. 265 00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:15,079 - [trudy and dangle sobbing] 266 00:10:23,121 --> 00:10:24,555 - Jonesy? 267 00:10:24,556 --> 00:10:26,257 That's my boob. 268 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,694 - Let's pull it together, ok? 269 00:10:30,695 --> 00:10:33,531 - Ok. 270 00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:34,765 - Trudy? 271 00:10:34,766 --> 00:10:36,166 - Yeah? 272 00:10:36,167 --> 00:10:37,768 - Um... 273 00:10:37,769 --> 00:10:39,136 - I know. 274 00:10:39,137 --> 00:10:41,039 You want to have sex with me because I'm kind of the last 275 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,141 Woman on earth in this case. 276 00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:44,942 Let's get it over with. 277 00:10:50,949 --> 00:10:52,449 - I'll let you, uh... 278 00:10:56,888 --> 00:11:00,925 - We've had our differences. 279 00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:02,393 - Mm-hmm. 280 00:11:02,394 --> 00:11:03,660 - And they've been bad. 281 00:11:03,661 --> 00:11:05,796 - Mm-hmm. 282 00:11:05,797 --> 00:11:11,101 - I've said things about you I...Probably didn't mean. 283 00:11:11,102 --> 00:11:12,336 You know? 284 00:11:12,337 --> 00:11:13,837 I mean, I meant them, but I don't-- 285 00:11:13,838 --> 00:11:15,840 I don't really mean them. 286 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,241 And I just want to say... 287 00:11:17,242 --> 00:11:20,278 - Mm-hmm. 288 00:11:20,279 --> 00:11:26,483 - That I think when we're gone... 289 00:11:26,484 --> 00:11:27,485 - Uh-huh. 290 00:11:27,486 --> 00:11:29,019 - Sometime tomorrow afternoon... 291 00:11:29,020 --> 00:11:31,088 - Uh-huh. 292 00:11:31,089 --> 00:11:33,557 - We're all gonna be somewhere better... 293 00:11:33,558 --> 00:11:34,725 - Uh-huh. 294 00:11:34,726 --> 00:11:37,394 [trudy farts] 295 00:11:37,395 --> 00:11:38,462 - Did you just fart? 296 00:11:38,463 --> 00:11:39,830 - Mm-hmm. 297 00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:47,371 - Well, we've seen a lot of things today, 298 00:11:47,372 --> 00:11:49,306 And one of the places that they have here 299 00:11:49,307 --> 00:11:50,875 At the reno sheriff's department is kind 300 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:51,876 Of a toy closet. 301 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:53,110 You have one at home. 302 00:11:53,111 --> 00:11:54,611 Let's go in and see what the deputy is playing 303 00:11:54,612 --> 00:11:55,646 With inside here. 304 00:11:55,647 --> 00:11:56,914 Hi, deputy. 305 00:11:56,915 --> 00:11:58,081 - Hey, reading ron. 306 00:11:58,082 --> 00:11:59,550 - What's in this room? 307 00:11:59,551 --> 00:12:02,019 It's colorful, and there are lots of toys. 308 00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:06,724 I see some skates up there and lots of signs with words like 309 00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:08,259 "bulk property"... 310 00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:10,828 - "requires a booking slip." 311 00:12:10,829 --> 00:12:12,263 - Booking slips. 312 00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:14,331 - A booking slip is something I'm gonna fill out later when 313 00:12:14,332 --> 00:12:17,568 You're not here because this is kind of sad. 314 00:12:17,569 --> 00:12:21,539 This belonged to a mother who was carrying her baby in this. 315 00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:25,243 And this particular mommy was roller-skating-- 316 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,477 - Ha ha ha! That's fun. 317 00:12:27,478 --> 00:12:29,680 - And she got hit by a car. 318 00:12:29,681 --> 00:12:32,349 And both the mommy and the baby are now dead. 319 00:12:32,350 --> 00:12:35,119 But we have these things, and I was gonna tag 'em, 320 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,453 But I'll wait and do that later. 321 00:12:36,454 --> 00:12:37,688 - That's great. 322 00:12:37,689 --> 00:12:41,358 - This we found on the scene of a fetish video where 323 00:12:41,359 --> 00:12:44,294 Pregnant women were standing in bikinis on rocks and firing 324 00:12:44,295 --> 00:12:48,232 Their ak-47s, but they were underage, so we had to 325 00:12:48,233 --> 00:12:49,599 Bring it in. 326 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:50,935 - What do you got down there? 327 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,336 What's that there? 328 00:12:52,337 --> 00:12:55,305 Looks like it's not exactly play-doh, is it? 329 00:12:55,306 --> 00:12:56,808 - Oh, this is--ohh! 330 00:12:56,809 --> 00:13:00,177 Ok, this--you think you know what a white horse is or 331 00:13:00,178 --> 00:13:01,779 A white pony. 332 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,814 This is a different kind of white pony. 333 00:13:03,815 --> 00:13:05,749 If you happen to be snooping around when your legal 334 00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:09,219 Guardian is not at home and you find some of this, 335 00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:10,587 Leave it alone. 336 00:13:10,588 --> 00:13:14,124 It is very expensive. 337 00:13:14,125 --> 00:13:17,861 - You mind if I just-- 338 00:13:17,862 --> 00:13:19,030 You mind if I... 339 00:13:19,031 --> 00:13:21,999 This is-- jeez, it takes me back. 340 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,967 Jeez. 341 00:13:23,968 --> 00:13:25,769 Oh, that's--wow. 342 00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:32,243 I lost a lot--I lost a lot because of this, um, and-- 343 00:13:32,244 --> 00:13:33,611 - Thank you. 344 00:13:33,612 --> 00:13:36,714 - I had a wife and a kid. 345 00:13:36,715 --> 00:13:38,582 I had a house with a gate. 346 00:13:38,583 --> 00:13:39,650 I don't live there anymore. 347 00:13:39,651 --> 00:13:41,718 I live in a little apartment now. 348 00:13:41,719 --> 00:13:43,387 Do you think that I wanted to do this for the rest 349 00:13:43,388 --> 00:13:44,889 Of my career? 350 00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:47,290 You think I wanted to teach little children how to read? 351 00:13:47,291 --> 00:13:48,292 - Why not? 352 00:13:48,293 --> 00:13:49,293 - You know what? I hate fucking kids. 353 00:13:49,294 --> 00:13:50,695 I can't stand them. 354 00:13:50,696 --> 00:13:53,130 I don't want to have anything to do with them. 355 00:13:53,131 --> 00:13:55,532 See that road down there in the hallway, how it all just-- 356 00:13:55,533 --> 00:13:58,269 The end of my career is at the end of it. 357 00:13:58,270 --> 00:13:59,770 - I'm sorry about your show today. 358 00:13:59,771 --> 00:14:02,306 - I want to thank all of you deputies for just shoving your 359 00:14:02,307 --> 00:14:04,875 Boots right up my a-hole. 360 00:14:04,876 --> 00:14:06,310 You know how you spell that? 361 00:14:06,311 --> 00:14:10,347 "a", and then you follow it up with an h-o-l-e. 362 00:14:10,348 --> 00:14:12,049 [siren] 363 00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:17,621 [siren] 364 00:14:17,622 --> 00:14:18,956 - Is it up there? 365 00:14:18,957 --> 00:14:19,957 - It's good. 366 00:14:19,958 --> 00:14:21,125 - Is he gonna stay up there, though? 367 00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:22,860 - Yeah, he's got some food up there. 368 00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:24,227 He's got food. 369 00:14:24,228 --> 00:14:25,296 - He's fine. 370 00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:26,797 - Well, what we did is we borrowed one 371 00:14:26,798 --> 00:14:29,333 Of wiegel's cats and stuck him up on this roof. 372 00:14:29,334 --> 00:14:31,435 'cause reading ron's show, he ain't getting nothing 373 00:14:31,436 --> 00:14:35,006 That's usable, so we thought maybe cat rescue. 374 00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:36,373 Kids like that, right? 375 00:14:36,374 --> 00:14:39,042 - What do we got here, a dead hooker? 376 00:14:39,043 --> 00:14:41,111 Are you gonna show me some semen samples? 377 00:14:41,112 --> 00:14:43,180 - No semen today. 378 00:14:43,181 --> 00:14:44,714 - Oh, great, great. 379 00:14:44,715 --> 00:14:46,416 - Lucky you happened to stop by. 380 00:14:46,417 --> 00:14:49,119 We have a code 2, and what that is-- 381 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,554 - That's great, you got a head in a box. 382 00:14:50,555 --> 00:14:51,822 You're gonna show a head in a box. 383 00:14:51,823 --> 00:14:52,990 That's great. 384 00:14:52,991 --> 00:14:54,792 - No, it's a cute little cat up on the roof. 385 00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:55,859 There's a cute-- 386 00:14:55,860 --> 00:14:57,094 - You really got a cute little cat up there? 387 00:14:57,095 --> 00:14:58,429 - Yeah. 388 00:14:58,430 --> 00:14:59,763 A cute little cat is caught up on the roof, and a little girl 389 00:14:59,764 --> 00:15:01,865 Called, so the brave men and women of-- 390 00:15:01,866 --> 00:15:03,266 - You know what? Let me do this. 391 00:15:03,267 --> 00:15:04,301 Why don't I handle this? 392 00:15:04,302 --> 00:15:05,602 It's reading ron's program. 393 00:15:05,603 --> 00:15:06,736 Words are everywhere. 394 00:15:06,737 --> 00:15:08,306 You'd be surprised where you might find them. 395 00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:09,740 You might find some cops. 396 00:15:09,741 --> 00:15:12,509 You might find a cat, but on a house. 397 00:15:12,510 --> 00:15:15,012 Two cs: A kuh and a kuh. 398 00:15:15,013 --> 00:15:17,081 It's called alliteration. 399 00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:18,114 Right? 400 00:15:18,115 --> 00:15:19,416 - Alliteration. 401 00:15:19,417 --> 00:15:20,918 - Help that kitty, cops. 402 00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:22,352 - All right! Let's go! 403 00:15:22,353 --> 00:15:23,653 - We'll do that for you, ron. 404 00:15:23,654 --> 00:15:24,855 - Let's get her, junior. 405 00:15:24,856 --> 00:15:25,856 - That's all right. 406 00:15:25,857 --> 00:15:27,224 It's all right, kitty-kitty. 407 00:15:27,225 --> 00:15:28,459 It's ok. 408 00:15:28,460 --> 00:15:30,361 Don't make any false moves or nothing. 409 00:15:30,362 --> 00:15:31,528 You can do it. 410 00:15:31,529 --> 00:15:32,696 Oh, got ya. 411 00:15:32,697 --> 00:15:33,964 - How's that cat coming? 412 00:15:33,965 --> 00:15:35,365 Don't hurt him. 413 00:15:35,366 --> 00:15:36,367 [cat yowling] 414 00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:37,368 - Got him. 415 00:15:37,369 --> 00:15:38,368 Aah! Aah. 416 00:15:38,369 --> 00:15:39,703 - Yay! 417 00:15:39,704 --> 00:15:41,639 [deputies clapping] 418 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,241 - Another satisfied customer here in reno. 419 00:15:44,242 --> 00:15:45,742 Ow! [cat yowling] 420 00:15:45,743 --> 00:15:47,811 - Ohh! 421 00:15:47,812 --> 00:15:50,347 - Jeez. -Oh! 422 00:15:50,348 --> 00:15:52,049 - Ohh! 423 00:15:52,050 --> 00:15:53,817 - God! 424 00:15:53,818 --> 00:15:56,887 God! God! 425 00:15:56,888 --> 00:15:58,556 - [clementine sobbing] 426 00:15:58,557 --> 00:16:00,824 - Reading ron-- 427 00:16:00,825 --> 00:16:02,093 - Fuck ron! 428 00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:04,695 Reading ron is fired ron. 429 00:16:04,696 --> 00:16:06,630 Goddamn this. 430 00:16:09,367 --> 00:16:11,368 - He's ok. Just let him walk it off. 431 00:16:11,369 --> 00:16:12,736 - It's not our fault. 432 00:16:12,737 --> 00:16:14,538 - Walk it off, ron! 433 00:16:14,539 --> 00:16:16,440 W-a-l-k! 434 00:16:16,441 --> 00:16:17,974 Walk it off! 435 00:16:20,512 --> 00:16:22,413 - You know, we could get another cat. 436 00:16:22,414 --> 00:16:24,148 We could try it again. 437 00:16:33,224 --> 00:16:34,524 - I'm gonna put on a record. 438 00:16:34,525 --> 00:16:35,559 How about that? 439 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:36,593 Will that cheer everybody up? 440 00:16:36,594 --> 00:16:38,195 Here we go. This will be fun. 441 00:16:38,196 --> 00:16:40,163 This will be fun. 442 00:16:40,164 --> 00:16:42,099 [record playing fast] 443 00:16:52,877 --> 00:16:57,181 - Is it at the wrong speed, do you think? 444 00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:59,283 - Let's get in a massage line. 445 00:16:59,284 --> 00:17:00,350 - Ok. 446 00:17:00,351 --> 00:17:02,486 - All right. 447 00:17:02,487 --> 00:17:03,487 - Does that feel good? 448 00:17:03,488 --> 00:17:04,588 - Yeah. 449 00:17:04,589 --> 00:17:06,423 That's great. 450 00:17:06,424 --> 00:17:08,358 - [dangle moaning] 451 00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:12,563 - Feel good? 452 00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:15,365 - Yeah. 453 00:17:15,366 --> 00:17:17,434 - Trudy? Trudy? 454 00:17:17,435 --> 00:17:19,169 Turn it up a little bit. 455 00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:21,271 - You like that? 456 00:17:21,272 --> 00:17:22,639 - Trudy. 457 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,175 - You like that massage? 458 00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:25,208 You like that massage, trudy? 459 00:17:25,209 --> 00:17:26,777 Yeah. 460 00:17:26,778 --> 00:17:28,078 Mmm. 461 00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:31,449 Mm-hmm. 462 00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:32,649 Yeah. 463 00:17:32,650 --> 00:17:34,384 Ooh. Ohh. 464 00:17:34,385 --> 00:17:35,385 - Ohh. 465 00:17:35,386 --> 00:17:36,520 - Oh, yeah. 466 00:17:36,521 --> 00:17:38,422 - [trudy and jonesy laughing] 467 00:17:38,423 --> 00:17:40,724 - You smell like peanut butter cookies. 468 00:17:40,725 --> 00:17:42,892 You know that? 469 00:17:42,893 --> 00:17:44,528 - Ohh. 470 00:17:44,529 --> 00:17:46,663 - Ohh. 471 00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:51,402 [alarm ringing] 472 00:17:54,605 --> 00:17:56,106 [alarm stops] 473 00:17:56,107 --> 00:17:58,575 - Oh, this can't be good. 474 00:17:58,576 --> 00:17:59,577 [siren] 475 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:00,611 - What do we got here? 476 00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:01,611 - Cover me. 477 00:18:01,612 --> 00:18:03,514 - God! 478 00:18:03,515 --> 00:18:05,348 God, look where we find ourselves. 479 00:18:05,349 --> 00:18:07,050 You're all here. I'm glad you're all here. 480 00:18:07,051 --> 00:18:08,385 - Ron, take it easy. 481 00:18:08,386 --> 00:18:10,387 - Did you ever hear the story of "reading ron eats a gun"? 482 00:18:10,388 --> 00:18:13,624 It's got a man who has a reading show on public 483 00:18:13,625 --> 00:18:15,259 Television with a gun. 484 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:16,427 [gunshot] 485 00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,162 - Ohh! Ron! 486 00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:20,263 - God, it's hot in here! 487 00:18:20,264 --> 00:18:21,965 - Put down the gun, ron! 488 00:18:21,966 --> 00:18:23,801 - D-o-w-n, down! 489 00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:24,835 - Damn! 490 00:18:24,836 --> 00:18:26,537 - It's your lucky day, buddy. 491 00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:28,038 - This isn't my lucky day. 492 00:18:28,039 --> 00:18:30,107 - It's your lucky day, 'cause guess who's on the phone? 493 00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:32,142 It's your wife and your little girls... 494 00:18:32,143 --> 00:18:33,243 - Oh, baby. 495 00:18:33,244 --> 00:18:34,478 - And she wants to reconcile. 496 00:18:34,479 --> 00:18:36,146 - Would you tell phyllis I love her? 497 00:18:36,147 --> 00:18:37,147 - Why don't you tell her? 498 00:18:37,148 --> 00:18:38,148 - She's a whore. 499 00:18:38,149 --> 00:18:39,182 - No, she's not. 500 00:18:39,183 --> 00:18:40,284 - She's a whore! 501 00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:41,351 - Don't point that gun! 502 00:18:41,352 --> 00:18:43,086 - She's a whore. Hey, phyllis! 503 00:18:43,087 --> 00:18:44,121 Damn! 504 00:18:44,122 --> 00:18:45,189 - Ron! 505 00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:46,189 - It's a free phone call. 506 00:18:46,190 --> 00:18:47,190 - Don't blow it. 507 00:18:47,191 --> 00:18:48,759 - I'm putting the gun down. 508 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,293 - You're an attractive man. 509 00:18:50,294 --> 00:18:51,895 - Good for you, ron! 510 00:18:51,896 --> 00:18:53,830 - That's right, good for you. 511 00:18:53,831 --> 00:18:55,432 [taser buzzes] 512 00:18:55,433 --> 00:18:56,834 - There you go. - That's all. 513 00:18:56,835 --> 00:18:57,868 - That's how we do it. 514 00:18:57,869 --> 00:18:59,937 - Ohh. Good job, junior. 515 00:18:59,938 --> 00:19:02,640 - What a dick. 516 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:03,807 [taser buzzes] 517 00:19:03,808 --> 00:19:05,676 [siren] 518 00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:12,249 [siren] 519 00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:14,518 - [trudy and dangle whimpering] 520 00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:20,290 - [jonesy sobbing, coughing] 521 00:19:20,291 --> 00:19:21,291 - I'm so cold. 522 00:19:21,292 --> 00:19:23,861 Oh, god, I'm so cold. 523 00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:26,129 - Hello, anybody home? 524 00:19:26,130 --> 00:19:27,164 - What? 525 00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:29,867 - Oh, hey, guys! 526 00:19:29,868 --> 00:19:31,402 Great news! 527 00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:35,872 It was aids! 528 00:19:35,873 --> 00:19:36,907 Isn't that great? 529 00:19:36,908 --> 00:19:38,041 - Aids? 530 00:19:38,042 --> 00:19:39,175 - [deputies laughing, crying] 531 00:19:39,176 --> 00:19:40,511 - He's got aids. 532 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,913 - [deputies laughing] 533 00:19:52,289 --> 00:19:53,791 - Morning, guys. 534 00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:58,495 To our debut on reno's channel 58. 535 00:19:58,496 --> 00:19:59,729 [alarm on tv ringing] 536 00:19:59,730 --> 00:20:01,265 - Hey. Oh, oh! 537 00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:04,000 - Ha ha ha! 538 00:20:04,001 --> 00:20:05,002 - Oh, wake up. 539 00:20:05,003 --> 00:20:06,970 - He looks fine. - He does. 540 00:20:06,971 --> 00:20:08,305 - He pulled it together. 541 00:20:08,306 --> 00:20:09,406 - Pulled his act together, and I'm sure he's gonna be 542 00:20:09,407 --> 00:20:10,807 Just fine. 543 00:20:10,808 --> 00:20:14,378 - ♪ and all of you at home can sing along with me... ♪ 544 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,413 - That is awesome. 545 00:20:16,414 --> 00:20:17,614 - [indistinct chatter] 546 00:20:17,615 --> 00:20:21,451 - ♪ read along with ron ♪ - ♪ me ♪ 547 00:20:21,452 --> 00:20:22,486 - Oh, there's the radish. Check it out. 548 00:20:22,487 --> 00:20:23,721 - Hello, reno boys and girls. 549 00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:25,956 Welcome to "reading with ron." 550 00:20:25,957 --> 00:20:28,692 I'm dr. Radish, the reading radish. 551 00:20:28,693 --> 00:20:31,494 This week, I'm sorry to say, reading ron is taking 552 00:20:31,495 --> 00:20:34,164 A little timeout. 553 00:20:34,165 --> 00:20:36,700 He'll be back in 8 weeks, we hope. 554 00:20:36,701 --> 00:20:38,701 Until then, I'll be your host. 555 00:20:38,702 --> 00:20:43,039 This week, we're meeting the greatest heroes of reno who 556 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:45,308 Put their life on the line every day. 557 00:20:45,309 --> 00:20:48,845 I'm talking of course about our...Firemen! 558 00:20:48,846 --> 00:20:50,213 - Son of a bitch. 559 00:20:50,214 --> 00:20:52,616 - Hello, reading radish. - Hi, reading radish. 560 00:20:52,617 --> 00:20:54,184 Doors, fire doors. 561 00:20:54,185 --> 00:20:58,689 - What the hell? 562 00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:01,291 - I had to ride around with that prick for 8 hours. 563 00:21:01,292 --> 00:21:02,426 Captioning made possible by mtv networks 564 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:03,426 Captioned by the national captioning institute 565 00:21:03,427 --> 00:21:04,428 --Www.Ncicap.Org-- 566 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:05,462 - ♪ wake up, you sleepy heads ♪ 567 00:21:05,463 --> 00:21:06,930 ♪ and put your thinking caps on ♪ 568 00:21:06,931 --> 00:21:08,731 ♪ and come and learn to ron-- ♪ fuck. 569 00:21:08,732 --> 00:21:10,300 I really got to say you have a pube 570 00:21:10,301 --> 00:21:12,702 In your mouth. 571 00:21:12,703 --> 00:21:14,038 - It's your wife's. 572 00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:18,108 - ♪ come along and read along with me...And ron... ♪ 573 00:21:18,109 --> 00:21:20,510 Jesus god! 574 00:21:20,511 --> 00:21:21,978 I'm gonna fucking 575 00:21:21,979 --> 00:21:24,147 Cut you up with a salad shooter and sprinkle you all 576 00:21:24,148 --> 00:21:25,682 Over my greens. 577 00:21:25,683 --> 00:21:27,651 - That's funny, 'cause your wife's a vegan, too. 578 00:21:27,652 --> 00:21:30,653 - ♪ reno's little babies love reading, reading ♪ 579 00:21:30,654 --> 00:21:31,989 - Fuck this! For god's sake. 580 00:21:31,990 --> 00:21:32,989 - Jesus christ. 581 00:21:33,039 --> 00:21:37,589 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39622

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