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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,603 --> 00:00:07,739 - Sheriff's academy cadets, at ease! 2 00:00:07,740 --> 00:00:10,141 Sound off! 3 00:00:10,142 --> 00:00:11,943 Reese! - Sir, yes, sir! 4 00:00:11,944 --> 00:00:13,412 - Kimball! - Sir, yes, sir! 5 00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:15,213 - Manderson! - Sir, yes, sir! 6 00:00:15,214 --> 00:00:16,981 - Jackson! - Sir, yes, sir! 7 00:00:16,982 --> 00:00:18,983 - Dupree! - Sir, yes, sir! 8 00:00:18,984 --> 00:00:20,652 - Each of you 9 00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:24,588 Has completed 18 weeks of sheriff's academy training. 10 00:00:27,126 --> 00:00:28,960 But real cop school starts today! 11 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:32,864 Here's where you start paying, people. 12 00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:36,568 In sweat. 13 00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:40,271 Only one of you will be the best of the best! 14 00:00:42,341 --> 00:00:45,643 And only one is what our current budget situation allows. 15 00:00:45,644 --> 00:00:47,779 So, I apologize for that. 16 00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:49,848 I wish I could take you all, but I can't. 17 00:00:49,849 --> 00:00:51,015 Manderson?! 18 00:00:51,016 --> 00:00:51,950 - Sir, yes, sir! 19 00:00:54,153 --> 00:00:55,153 - How tall are you? 20 00:00:55,154 --> 00:00:56,153 - 6'2 1/2", sir. 21 00:00:56,154 --> 00:00:57,422 - Get out of here. 22 00:01:00,359 --> 00:01:02,460 Double time, double time, double time, boy! 23 00:01:05,797 --> 00:01:06,798 Dupree. 24 00:01:06,799 --> 00:01:07,965 - Sir, yes, sir! 25 00:01:07,966 --> 00:01:09,333 - Top of your class. 26 00:01:09,334 --> 00:01:11,636 - Yes, sir! 27 00:01:11,637 --> 00:01:13,004 - Speak 3 languages. 28 00:01:13,005 --> 00:01:15,339 - Sir, yes, sir! 29 00:01:15,340 --> 00:01:17,475 - Ji kun do master. 30 00:01:17,476 --> 00:01:19,778 - Yes, sir. 31 00:01:19,779 --> 00:01:22,313 - Wow. 32 00:01:22,314 --> 00:01:25,116 He's the one to beat, people. 33 00:01:25,117 --> 00:01:27,519 Eyes on dupree. 34 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,087 All right, dupree, go get the gun belts. 35 00:01:30,088 --> 00:01:31,189 - Sir, yes, sir! 36 00:01:37,329 --> 00:01:38,897 - Medic! 37 00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:41,533 - Whoo! - Come here! 38 00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:45,737 - What? I'm-- 39 00:01:45,738 --> 00:01:46,671 - Oh! 40 00:01:52,778 --> 00:01:54,612 - [shouting] 41 00:01:54,613 --> 00:01:57,549 [captioning made possible by mtv networks] 42 00:02:06,492 --> 00:02:08,426 [machine gun fire] 43 00:02:10,662 --> 00:02:11,663 - Hey, where's you-- 44 00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:13,198 - Hoh, hoh, hoh! 45 00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:17,168 [siren] 46 00:02:17,169 --> 00:02:19,103 [tires screech] 47 00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:25,010 - The idea of adding a new deputy 48 00:02:25,011 --> 00:02:26,010 Goes like this. 49 00:02:26,011 --> 00:02:29,079 Uh, what we have in the officers 50 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,248 We have now are a lot of ingredients. 51 00:02:31,249 --> 00:02:35,787 Uh, pepperoni, uh, raw egg, 52 00:02:35,788 --> 00:02:38,656 Uh, strong gouda cheese. 53 00:02:38,657 --> 00:02:40,558 The thing is that we have ingredients 54 00:02:40,559 --> 00:02:42,593 That are a recipe for nothing, 55 00:02:42,594 --> 00:02:46,464 And we're missing one of those things 56 00:02:46,465 --> 00:02:48,900 That turns something, 57 00:02:48,901 --> 00:02:50,802 Uh, that's just a bunch of stuff 58 00:02:50,803 --> 00:02:53,538 Into something useful. 59 00:02:53,539 --> 00:02:55,172 I didn't--don't that in a personal way. 60 00:02:55,173 --> 00:02:56,675 - The reno sheriff's department 61 00:02:56,676 --> 00:03:00,611 Is a perfect law enforcement engine, 62 00:03:00,612 --> 00:03:02,480 And you do not make an engine faster 63 00:03:02,481 --> 00:03:04,115 By adding another part. 64 00:03:04,116 --> 00:03:07,552 You make an engine faster by putting nitrous in it. 65 00:03:07,553 --> 00:03:08,953 And I don't mean an analogy. 66 00:03:08,954 --> 00:03:11,922 I mean we should get nitrous in our cars. 67 00:03:11,923 --> 00:03:12,924 [siren] 68 00:03:12,925 --> 00:03:14,225 - Pull over! 69 00:03:14,226 --> 00:03:15,560 - The squad car's following you, ok? 70 00:03:15,561 --> 00:03:16,561 You're gonna have to give up. 71 00:03:16,562 --> 00:03:18,062 - Get off the bike, sir! 72 00:03:18,063 --> 00:03:19,064 - Fuck you. 73 00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:21,232 - Oh, is that how you're gonna be? 74 00:03:21,233 --> 00:03:22,267 Ok, we're fine. 75 00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:24,602 - Freeze, sir! 76 00:03:24,603 --> 00:03:25,603 - Hey! Hey! 77 00:03:25,604 --> 00:03:27,171 - I got him! - Get off that bike! 78 00:03:27,172 --> 00:03:28,173 - I got him! 79 00:03:28,174 --> 00:03:29,407 - Freeze! - I got him! 80 00:03:29,408 --> 00:03:31,542 - Son of a bitch! 81 00:03:31,543 --> 00:03:32,677 - Get off! 82 00:03:32,678 --> 00:03:35,012 - Damn! - Oh! 83 00:03:36,181 --> 00:03:37,115 - Oh! 84 00:03:39,985 --> 00:03:40,985 Yeah! 85 00:03:40,986 --> 00:03:41,919 Ha ha. 86 00:03:45,390 --> 00:03:46,391 Whoo! 87 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,193 - Shut up. 88 00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:49,827 - Oh, man. 89 00:03:49,828 --> 00:03:51,061 - Got him! 90 00:03:51,062 --> 00:03:52,097 - Yes, you did. 91 00:03:52,098 --> 00:03:53,130 - Good for you. 92 00:03:53,131 --> 00:03:56,234 You get to do the paperwork, hot dog girl. 93 00:03:56,235 --> 00:03:59,170 - Great job! Fantastic! 94 00:03:59,171 --> 00:04:00,504 Hey, james garcia. 95 00:04:00,505 --> 00:04:01,539 - Hi, james. 96 00:04:01,540 --> 00:04:03,174 - Nice to meet you. Welcome to the force. 97 00:04:03,175 --> 00:04:04,242 - Thank you. 98 00:04:04,243 --> 00:04:05,776 - Wow, where'd you learn that stuff? 99 00:04:05,777 --> 00:04:07,078 - In the marine corps. 100 00:04:07,079 --> 00:04:08,780 - Well, ten-hut. 101 00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:09,580 - Got him. 102 00:04:09,581 --> 00:04:10,581 - Nice. 103 00:04:10,582 --> 00:04:12,216 - "I got him." - beginner's luck. 104 00:04:12,217 --> 00:04:14,385 - "I got him." 105 00:04:14,386 --> 00:04:16,220 - That was a good grab there. 106 00:04:16,221 --> 00:04:18,123 - "I learned it in the marine corps." 107 00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:19,557 - If I wasn't on my period, 108 00:04:19,558 --> 00:04:20,758 I could have did that. 109 00:04:20,759 --> 00:04:22,693 [siren] 110 00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:30,401 - Aah! 111 00:04:30,402 --> 00:04:31,436 Sorry. 112 00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:33,405 My brakes are getting squirrelly on me. 113 00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:34,405 Hoh. 114 00:04:34,406 --> 00:04:35,873 I've had some boots on layaway 115 00:04:35,874 --> 00:04:38,176 Here at zapateria la ballerina. 116 00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:39,977 For western fashions here in reno, 117 00:04:39,978 --> 00:04:42,246 You really can't beat zapateria la ballerina. 118 00:04:42,247 --> 00:04:44,615 Well, you can, but not at these prices, really. 119 00:04:44,616 --> 00:04:45,850 Let's do it. 120 00:04:47,052 --> 00:04:49,020 It's go time. 121 00:04:49,021 --> 00:04:51,656 [mariachi music plays] 122 00:04:51,657 --> 00:04:53,524 Genuine ostrich. 123 00:04:53,525 --> 00:04:55,827 3 payments. 124 00:04:55,828 --> 00:04:57,761 Oh! 125 00:04:57,762 --> 00:04:58,963 Wait, what? 126 00:04:58,964 --> 00:05:02,099 I'm just goofin'. New boot goofin'. 127 00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:03,034 Oh! 128 00:05:31,596 --> 00:05:33,864 - Cleanliness is next to godliness. 129 00:05:33,865 --> 00:05:34,866 It's important to me. 130 00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:36,301 - Ha ha. Boom! 131 00:05:36,302 --> 00:05:38,403 - Oh, the god squad. 132 00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:39,737 Hey! How's god doin' today? 133 00:05:39,738 --> 00:05:41,072 - Yeah! 134 00:05:41,073 --> 00:05:42,073 - Fine. Jehovah's good. 135 00:05:42,074 --> 00:05:43,074 - Yeah? 136 00:05:43,075 --> 00:05:44,575 Hey, does, uh, jehovah have a permit 137 00:05:44,576 --> 00:05:46,577 To be in the neighborhood today? 138 00:05:46,578 --> 00:05:48,546 - I think brother thor might have the permit. 139 00:05:48,547 --> 00:05:49,880 - Is that brother thor? 140 00:05:49,881 --> 00:05:51,215 - That's brother thor. 141 00:05:51,216 --> 00:05:52,750 - Sir... - Jones? 142 00:05:52,751 --> 00:05:53,817 - That's brother thor. 143 00:05:53,818 --> 00:05:54,819 - Ow! Ow! Ow! 144 00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:55,953 - I got him! 145 00:05:55,954 --> 00:05:56,988 - [shouting] 146 00:05:56,989 --> 00:05:59,090 - Sir, relax. 147 00:05:59,091 --> 00:06:04,829 Sir, 144,000 people make it into heaven. 148 00:06:04,830 --> 00:06:05,697 Would you like to be one? 149 00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:06,897 - Yes, sir. 150 00:06:06,898 --> 00:06:09,200 - Would you like to hear the good news about jehovah? 151 00:06:09,201 --> 00:06:10,200 - Yes, I would. 152 00:06:10,201 --> 00:06:11,235 - We need your home address. 153 00:06:11,236 --> 00:06:13,171 [siren] 154 00:06:17,509 --> 00:06:19,110 [siren] 155 00:06:19,111 --> 00:06:22,180 - I tell you, I'd love to get... 156 00:06:22,181 --> 00:06:26,284 One new dep... 157 00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:29,854 Who was a little bit... 158 00:06:29,855 --> 00:06:34,892 Less of a complete fudge-up. 159 00:06:34,893 --> 00:06:37,328 - I can follow. 160 00:06:37,329 --> 00:06:38,429 - Fudge-up. 161 00:06:38,430 --> 00:06:40,765 I feel like we got a lot of fudge-ups. 162 00:06:40,766 --> 00:06:41,766 - For sure. 163 00:06:41,767 --> 00:06:43,868 - We're like--so many fudge-ups 164 00:06:43,869 --> 00:06:46,604 At our station 165 00:06:46,605 --> 00:06:49,974 That they ought to put a... 166 00:06:49,975 --> 00:06:51,709 - They ought to slap a sign on the front itself 167 00:06:51,710 --> 00:06:54,879 And call it a fudge factory. 168 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:58,016 It's like a fudge-packing district. 169 00:06:58,017 --> 00:06:59,050 - Pretty much. 170 00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:05,423 - Reno 12-charlie-7, we got a jumper! 171 00:07:05,424 --> 00:07:06,925 We got a jumper! 172 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,492 Hoh, hoh, hoh, hoh, hoh! 173 00:07:08,493 --> 00:07:12,263 - Hey! Kiki! Calm down, now. 174 00:07:12,264 --> 00:07:13,764 - Hey! - Don't come up here! 175 00:07:13,765 --> 00:07:15,232 I'm gonna kill myself! 176 00:07:15,233 --> 00:07:18,035 - No, no, no, no, no! - Kill myself! 177 00:07:18,036 --> 00:07:20,371 - No, no, no, no! Don't do that! 178 00:07:20,372 --> 00:07:21,706 - Come on, pretty girl! 179 00:07:21,707 --> 00:07:22,907 - No, you don't want to do that. 180 00:07:22,908 --> 00:07:23,942 - Aw, son of a-- 181 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,176 I do not want to call the fire department 182 00:07:25,177 --> 00:07:26,176 And the emts. 183 00:07:26,177 --> 00:07:27,178 It's a whole goddamn production. 184 00:07:27,179 --> 00:07:28,512 - Give me a shot at this one. 185 00:07:28,513 --> 00:07:30,147 One shot. - You want this? 186 00:07:30,148 --> 00:07:31,382 - You want to go, reese? - I want this. 187 00:07:31,383 --> 00:07:32,783 - Ok. You better take this. 188 00:07:32,784 --> 00:07:33,984 She likes this. 189 00:07:33,985 --> 00:07:34,986 - All right. 190 00:07:34,987 --> 00:07:37,454 - Now! - Let's rock this joint. 191 00:07:38,657 --> 00:07:40,091 - Fine. Let the rookie take it. 192 00:07:40,092 --> 00:07:41,225 - Rock it, asshole. 193 00:07:41,226 --> 00:07:42,427 - And he's gonna do the paperwork, too. 194 00:07:42,428 --> 00:07:43,594 - Hell, yeah. 195 00:07:43,595 --> 00:07:47,531 - No, no, no! No. I'm right here. 196 00:07:47,532 --> 00:07:48,799 Nobody's gonna die today. 197 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,301 Nobody's gonna die today. 198 00:07:50,302 --> 00:07:51,703 Look it. Look, look. - You stay back! 199 00:07:51,704 --> 00:07:52,970 - Look, I'm putting down my gun. 200 00:07:52,971 --> 00:07:54,305 - Stay back! - Look at that! 201 00:07:54,306 --> 00:07:56,741 I don't need my gun. Nobody's gonna die today. 202 00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:57,741 - Stay back. 203 00:07:57,742 --> 00:07:59,043 - Nobody's gonna die today, kiki. 204 00:07:59,044 --> 00:08:01,178 Not on my watch. Not on my watch. 205 00:08:01,179 --> 00:08:02,480 Come here. Come here! 206 00:08:02,481 --> 00:08:03,681 - Oh! - Hoh, hoh! 207 00:08:05,116 --> 00:08:06,117 Reese? 208 00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:07,117 [thump] 209 00:08:07,118 --> 00:08:08,786 - Oh, my god. Come on! 210 00:08:08,787 --> 00:08:10,688 - Reese! Reese! - Reese! 211 00:08:13,091 --> 00:08:14,158 - ...Believe in you. 212 00:08:14,159 --> 00:08:16,327 And you have to believe in yourself. 213 00:08:16,328 --> 00:08:19,364 Because sometimes, you're all you got, 214 00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:20,598 You know that? - Yeah. 215 00:08:20,599 --> 00:08:23,067 Boy, you make a lot of sense for a white fella. 216 00:08:23,068 --> 00:08:25,103 See, the only person who saw deep inside 217 00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:26,103 Was my daddy, 218 00:08:26,104 --> 00:08:27,571 And that's the reason why 219 00:08:27,572 --> 00:08:28,873 I take these sticks, 220 00:08:28,874 --> 00:08:32,943 'cause, see, my daddy was real skinny and real black. 221 00:08:32,944 --> 00:08:34,746 Black like a hundred midnights black. 222 00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:36,980 You understand? - Like, almost purple. 223 00:08:36,981 --> 00:08:38,316 - Black. Blue-black. 224 00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:39,817 - Like blue-black. Purple-black. Yeah. 225 00:08:39,818 --> 00:08:41,686 - Yeah. And skinny! 226 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:42,787 - Oh, yeah. - You know? 227 00:08:42,788 --> 00:08:44,989 So when I see the stick... 228 00:08:44,990 --> 00:08:47,191 Why, that remind me of my daddy. 229 00:08:47,192 --> 00:08:48,292 I get choked up. 230 00:08:48,293 --> 00:08:49,294 - Let's go. 231 00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:50,294 - Oh! Get away from me! 232 00:08:50,295 --> 00:08:52,196 Get away from me! Get back! 233 00:08:52,197 --> 00:08:53,197 - It's all right. Please, 234 00:08:53,198 --> 00:08:54,198 Don't invade our space. 235 00:08:54,199 --> 00:08:56,300 Honestly. Ok? Please. 236 00:08:56,301 --> 00:08:58,102 You're dismissed. Thank you. 237 00:08:58,103 --> 00:08:59,102 Ok, where were we? 238 00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:00,438 - Yeah, ok. 239 00:09:00,439 --> 00:09:01,439 - Fuckin' dick. 240 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:02,573 - Good luck getting back, asshole. 241 00:09:02,574 --> 00:09:04,142 - I like you. 242 00:09:04,143 --> 00:09:07,545 Way, way better than that great big nigger 243 00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:08,645 And that little bitty mexican 244 00:09:08,646 --> 00:09:09,914 They send out here all the time. 245 00:09:09,915 --> 00:09:10,982 They got to go. 246 00:09:15,287 --> 00:09:17,121 - What do I think of rookie jackson? 247 00:09:17,122 --> 00:09:19,657 Well, I think she's good breeding stock. 248 00:09:19,658 --> 00:09:21,259 Not to be too forward. 249 00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:24,762 But, she's got the right parts--up here, down here. 250 00:09:24,763 --> 00:09:26,264 She's put together well. 251 00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:30,468 She'd be an asset to our force and I'd be happy to school her. 252 00:09:30,469 --> 00:09:33,838 - I'd say she puts "ass" in asset to the force. 253 00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:35,339 - That she does, my friend. 254 00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:37,675 - We're in pursuit of a purse-snatcher. 255 00:09:37,676 --> 00:09:39,277 Requesting backup! 256 00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:40,711 Whoa! 257 00:09:40,712 --> 00:09:42,580 Uh-uh. All right. 258 00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:43,580 - Ok, come on. 259 00:09:43,581 --> 00:09:45,282 - Wait--no, grab it on the other-- 260 00:09:45,283 --> 00:09:46,751 There's a lot of dirt over here. 261 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:47,684 Jackson! 262 00:09:51,556 --> 00:09:53,024 Uh... 263 00:09:55,827 --> 00:09:57,561 She's like a little cat. 264 00:09:57,562 --> 00:09:59,497 [sound of punching] 265 00:10:00,899 --> 00:10:03,434 Oh--uh... 266 00:10:03,435 --> 00:10:05,303 Oh! Ho ho! 267 00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:06,804 [crash] 268 00:10:06,805 --> 00:10:07,905 - Got it! 269 00:10:07,906 --> 00:10:09,540 - That was cool. 270 00:10:09,541 --> 00:10:11,809 We need more white, cool, david lee roth 271 00:10:11,810 --> 00:10:13,544 White people shit like that in the world. 272 00:10:13,545 --> 00:10:14,812 That was cool. 273 00:10:14,813 --> 00:10:16,681 - I could have done that. 274 00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:19,050 For real. I could have done that. 275 00:10:24,555 --> 00:10:25,690 - Sheriff's department! 276 00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:26,690 Stay where you are! 277 00:10:26,691 --> 00:10:27,692 - Hands where we can seem 'em! 278 00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:29,060 Hands where we can see 'em! 279 00:10:30,228 --> 00:10:31,362 - You know why we're here, don't you? 280 00:10:31,363 --> 00:10:32,362 - You know. 281 00:10:32,363 --> 00:10:33,464 - I don't know. - Yeah, you do. 282 00:10:33,465 --> 00:10:35,933 - You don't know? - No, I don't know. 283 00:10:35,934 --> 00:10:37,068 - So you wouldn't know anything 284 00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:38,502 About the first western bank 285 00:10:38,503 --> 00:10:40,137 Being robbed this morning 286 00:10:40,138 --> 00:10:44,375 By a gentleman-- a gentleman with... 287 00:10:44,376 --> 00:10:46,010 A crossbow, frisbee! 288 00:10:46,011 --> 00:10:47,678 A man with a crossbow. 289 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:50,914 - I don't--I don't know what you're talking about. 290 00:10:50,915 --> 00:10:52,150 - You don't know what we're talking about. 291 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:54,518 - Frisbee, guess how many people in this area 292 00:10:54,519 --> 00:10:56,754 Subscribe to "crossbow enthusiast." 293 00:10:56,755 --> 00:10:57,922 - I don't know. 2,000. 294 00:10:57,923 --> 00:10:59,223 - One! 295 00:10:59,224 --> 00:11:00,457 - You want to hear the description 296 00:11:00,458 --> 00:11:01,459 Of the fella we're looking for? 297 00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:02,460 - Let's hear it, travis. 298 00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:03,460 - Put that in the truck. 299 00:11:03,461 --> 00:11:04,629 - Let's see if it reminds us any-- 300 00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:06,297 - Quieten down! 301 00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:07,998 - Wearing a ski mask, 302 00:11:07,999 --> 00:11:10,635 Beard sticking out under the ski mask... 303 00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:13,270 - Yep. - Strawberryish. 304 00:11:13,271 --> 00:11:15,305 - Woman driving the getaway car, 305 00:11:15,306 --> 00:11:16,807 Also in ski mask. 306 00:11:16,808 --> 00:11:20,678 Very pregnant. Underage. 307 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:22,713 6 kids in the back of the pickup truck. 308 00:11:22,714 --> 00:11:24,048 - Yeah. Well... 309 00:11:24,049 --> 00:11:26,216 - Remind you of anybody, frisbee? 310 00:11:26,217 --> 00:11:30,588 - Don't sound--does not ring a specific bell. 311 00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:32,323 - Don't sound familiar? - No. 312 00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:33,824 - Wouldn't know anything about that, would you, frisbee? 313 00:11:33,825 --> 00:11:35,692 - No, I don't know anything about it. 314 00:11:35,693 --> 00:11:37,528 - You wouldn't, perhaps, 315 00:11:37,529 --> 00:11:39,797 Have a alibi for yourself this morning, would you? 316 00:11:39,798 --> 00:11:40,931 - Where were you, frisbee? 317 00:11:40,932 --> 00:11:42,166 - Around 8:32? 318 00:11:42,167 --> 00:11:43,167 - Making a hammock. 319 00:11:43,168 --> 00:11:45,069 I was making a hammock out of weeds. 320 00:11:45,070 --> 00:11:46,170 - Can I see that? 321 00:11:46,171 --> 00:11:47,171 - It didn't go very well. 322 00:11:47,172 --> 00:11:49,307 I don't know-- no, it frayed up. 323 00:11:49,308 --> 00:11:50,841 - It frayed up on you. - Yeah. 324 00:11:50,842 --> 00:11:53,010 - So if we were to take a look at your hands, 325 00:11:53,011 --> 00:11:55,679 We wouldn't see any of the blue paint 326 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,950 That the bomb let off, that the bank put in-- 327 00:11:58,951 --> 00:12:00,351 - Dye bomb in the bag, frisbee. 328 00:12:00,352 --> 00:12:02,486 Blue dye bomb. No hiding it. 329 00:12:02,487 --> 00:12:04,188 - No. 330 00:12:04,189 --> 00:12:05,289 - Let's see the hands. 331 00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:06,757 Huh? 332 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,894 [cracks knuckles] 333 00:12:10,895 --> 00:12:12,096 - You want to talk to it? 334 00:12:13,765 --> 00:12:15,399 - No, we don't want to talk to the hands. 335 00:12:17,369 --> 00:12:18,369 - Shit. 336 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:19,370 - Sorry to do that to you. 337 00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:20,404 - Stay out of trouble. 338 00:12:20,405 --> 00:12:22,773 You know anybody else that has a crossbow? 339 00:12:22,774 --> 00:12:23,774 - Get in the house! 340 00:12:23,775 --> 00:12:24,775 - On the ground! 341 00:12:24,776 --> 00:12:26,377 - On the ground, frisbee! On the ground! 342 00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:27,811 - Set the beer down, get on the ground. 343 00:12:27,812 --> 00:12:29,279 Don't drink the beer, set it-- 344 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,415 Goddamn it, frisbee, get on the ground. 345 00:12:31,416 --> 00:12:32,816 - No, don't--don't do it. 346 00:12:32,817 --> 00:12:34,484 Frisbee, no! Frisbee, no! 347 00:12:34,485 --> 00:12:35,853 - [slurp] 348 00:12:35,854 --> 00:12:37,788 [siren] 349 00:12:41,326 --> 00:12:43,461 [siren] 350 00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:44,795 - We don't need reese, you know? 351 00:12:44,796 --> 00:12:46,597 No. 352 00:12:46,598 --> 00:12:47,832 And for an italian-- 353 00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:49,667 I don't think reese is an italian name. 354 00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:50,667 I mean-- 355 00:12:50,668 --> 00:12:51,669 - I bet he changed it. 356 00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:52,670 - I bet he did, too. 357 00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:53,770 - Them italians change it. 358 00:12:53,771 --> 00:12:55,306 - Yeah. Probably, uh-- 359 00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:56,474 - Reesatoni. 360 00:12:56,475 --> 00:12:59,342 - Or corleone, or something like that. 361 00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:02,346 - Giovanni corleone reesatoni. 362 00:13:02,347 --> 00:13:03,781 - Reesatoni. Yeah. 363 00:13:03,782 --> 00:13:05,015 - I'm surprised they let italians 364 00:13:05,016 --> 00:13:06,884 Be police officers. 365 00:13:06,885 --> 00:13:09,987 I mean, that's-- to me that seems like... 366 00:13:09,988 --> 00:13:12,489 Letting pedophiles be teachers. 367 00:13:12,490 --> 00:13:14,025 You know? It just don't-- 368 00:13:14,026 --> 00:13:16,393 It seems like the opposite of what we should be doing, 369 00:13:16,394 --> 00:13:18,796 If we're giving italians guns 370 00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:21,465 And putting them in charge of crime-- 371 00:13:21,466 --> 00:13:22,433 That's already what they do. 372 00:13:31,442 --> 00:13:33,610 - [snickering] 373 00:13:33,611 --> 00:13:35,245 - What do you call that, reese? 374 00:13:35,246 --> 00:13:38,015 - It's tai chi. 375 00:13:38,016 --> 00:13:39,417 - Tai what? - Gesundheit! 376 00:13:39,418 --> 00:13:40,951 - [laughter] 377 00:13:40,952 --> 00:13:42,887 - [coughing] 378 00:13:44,455 --> 00:13:47,858 - An ancient form of chinese meditation, 379 00:13:47,859 --> 00:13:51,695 Exercise, and becoming one with the universe and nature. 380 00:13:51,696 --> 00:13:52,930 - Tai chi? 381 00:13:52,931 --> 00:13:54,498 Wasn't that the monkey on that "speed racer" show? 382 00:13:54,499 --> 00:13:55,966 - Uh, yeah, right. 383 00:13:55,967 --> 00:13:59,136 - It helps you fight ancient criminals that move real slow. 384 00:13:59,137 --> 00:14:01,205 - Ha ha! 385 00:14:01,206 --> 00:14:03,106 - Now he's, like, pushing a file cabinet. 386 00:14:03,107 --> 00:14:04,207 Push the file cabinet. 387 00:14:04,208 --> 00:14:05,910 - Get ready to punch the file cabinet. 388 00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:07,244 - Punch the file cabinet. 389 00:14:07,245 --> 00:14:08,445 - He's pulling the... 390 00:14:08,446 --> 00:14:10,848 Ah, hey, looks, it's, uh, you know, 391 00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:13,917 It's that girl. What's-her-face. Uh... 392 00:14:13,918 --> 00:14:15,353 - What's up, fellas? 393 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,054 - Yeah. 394 00:14:17,055 --> 00:14:18,288 - Something. 395 00:14:18,289 --> 00:14:19,389 - Something. 396 00:14:19,390 --> 00:14:20,691 - Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. 397 00:14:22,394 --> 00:14:24,561 Wax on. Wax off. 398 00:14:24,562 --> 00:14:25,562 - [laughter] 399 00:14:25,563 --> 00:14:26,497 - Hai! 400 00:14:27,832 --> 00:14:29,099 - Travis? - Oh, shit! 401 00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:30,101 - Jones! - Holy shit! 402 00:14:30,102 --> 00:14:31,602 - Hey, that was not cool. 403 00:14:37,608 --> 00:14:41,778 - The new rookie reese is... 404 00:14:41,779 --> 00:14:46,016 I mean, I don't want to be, you know, inappropriate or... 405 00:14:46,017 --> 00:14:49,253 Unprofessional, but if he was a grape, 406 00:14:49,254 --> 00:14:52,823 I would suck the love juice right out of his body. 407 00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:58,862 - So what do y'all think about the karate kid? 408 00:14:58,863 --> 00:15:00,797 - Mmm! - [laughing] 409 00:15:00,798 --> 00:15:02,165 - I had to stop myself from writing 410 00:15:02,166 --> 00:15:08,105 "mrs. Clementine reese" on all my reports. Hello. 411 00:15:08,106 --> 00:15:11,042 - I'm like, "hi. How you doing? 412 00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:13,777 What's your name?" ha ha! 413 00:15:13,778 --> 00:15:15,913 Love him! Who do I hate? 414 00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:18,082 The little--the little-- - blonde girl! 415 00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,984 - "hi. I'm gonna go crochet my own kevlar." 416 00:15:20,985 --> 00:15:22,153 Whoops! 417 00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:25,256 "I gotta go do cartwheels over to tampon machine. 418 00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,358 - "hi! Hi! Nice to meet you. 419 00:15:27,359 --> 00:15:29,560 I hope I get to work with you one day." 420 00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:31,028 - [laughter] 421 00:15:31,029 --> 00:15:33,630 - Hey. How you doin', wiegel? 422 00:15:33,631 --> 00:15:35,398 Williams? What's up, clemmy? 423 00:15:35,399 --> 00:15:38,168 - What's up, you? - Hi, lady. 424 00:15:38,169 --> 00:15:39,302 - How's it goin'? 425 00:15:39,303 --> 00:15:40,571 - Got your sweat suit on. - Yeah. 426 00:15:40,572 --> 00:15:43,774 - Booking is that way. 427 00:15:43,775 --> 00:15:46,877 You gotta take him all the way back. 428 00:15:46,878 --> 00:15:49,213 - All right. Ok. 429 00:15:49,214 --> 00:15:50,814 Well, I'll see you later, then. 430 00:15:50,815 --> 00:15:51,816 - Ok. - Ok. 431 00:15:51,817 --> 00:15:52,816 - Ok. Come on. 432 00:15:52,817 --> 00:15:53,818 - Take care. 433 00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:55,286 - Nice to talk to you. - See you later. 434 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,854 - Ok. 435 00:15:56,855 --> 00:15:58,388 - Who's that? - I don't remember. 436 00:15:58,389 --> 00:16:01,091 - I don't like when people know you that you don't know. 437 00:16:01,092 --> 00:16:02,526 - Yeah, it's very suspicious. 438 00:16:02,527 --> 00:16:05,462 - "oh, hi." like, "I know your name." 439 00:16:05,463 --> 00:16:06,464 - I don't know who she is, 440 00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:07,698 But that was a big perp she brought in. 441 00:16:07,699 --> 00:16:09,299 - That was a big guy. 442 00:16:14,472 --> 00:16:16,073 - Oh, craig. 443 00:16:16,074 --> 00:16:19,276 These conjugal visits are so wonderful. 444 00:16:19,277 --> 00:16:20,911 So romantic. 445 00:16:20,912 --> 00:16:23,414 - I could just stare at you all day long. 446 00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:24,448 - Ohh... 447 00:16:24,449 --> 00:16:25,815 I wish we had all day. 448 00:16:25,816 --> 00:16:28,586 - Hold on. Give me a second here. 449 00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:30,521 [toilet flushes] 450 00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:34,791 - You really have it pretty good in here. 451 00:16:34,792 --> 00:16:36,360 - Yeah. 452 00:16:36,361 --> 00:16:38,728 It's a lot more spacious than I thought they'd give us. 453 00:16:38,729 --> 00:16:40,864 - Yeah. - It's pretty sweet. 454 00:16:40,865 --> 00:16:43,133 I like the pink walls, you know? 455 00:16:43,134 --> 00:16:46,002 - Pink is a good color for intimacy. 456 00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:47,904 - Yeah. Pink and yellows. 457 00:16:49,374 --> 00:16:51,175 Oh, I see what you're getting at. 458 00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:53,510 - What? I wasn't, no, I wasn't getting at anything. 459 00:16:53,511 --> 00:16:54,778 - Oh, I thought you were being... 460 00:16:57,082 --> 00:16:59,215 So, anyways, I guess we should maybe 461 00:16:59,216 --> 00:17:01,351 Do a scenario or something. 462 00:17:01,352 --> 00:17:05,155 - How about, um, we're both work at, um... 463 00:17:05,156 --> 00:17:06,790 A corporation. 464 00:17:06,791 --> 00:17:08,426 - Ok. - Ok. 465 00:17:13,097 --> 00:17:16,400 - Mmm, I think I'm gonna have lunch now. 466 00:17:16,401 --> 00:17:17,701 - All right. 467 00:17:17,702 --> 00:17:19,136 - Do you want some of my lunch? 468 00:17:19,137 --> 00:17:21,005 - No, thanks. I'm not hungry right now. 469 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,708 Would you like to take a look at what I'm typing? 470 00:17:26,144 --> 00:17:28,012 - Oh. 471 00:17:28,013 --> 00:17:30,847 I see you're writing a love letter to somebody. 472 00:17:30,848 --> 00:17:33,417 - No, it's not a love letter. 473 00:17:33,418 --> 00:17:34,618 It's just a... 474 00:17:34,619 --> 00:17:36,453 No, I'm not writing a love letter. 475 00:17:36,454 --> 00:17:39,657 It's just a--a memo to the boss. 476 00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:41,459 This isn't working, right? 477 00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:44,561 - I think we have, like, 4 minutes left. 478 00:17:44,562 --> 00:17:46,964 I feel like we haven't used this... 479 00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:48,031 - Wisely. 480 00:17:48,032 --> 00:17:49,900 - Yeah. I'm not-- 481 00:17:49,901 --> 00:17:52,236 I'm not feeling sexual right now. 482 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,472 - I'm not either, and that's ok, isn't it? 483 00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:55,572 - Yeah. 484 00:17:55,573 --> 00:17:56,840 - That doesn't mean that our relationship 485 00:17:56,841 --> 00:17:58,641 Is odd in any way. 486 00:17:58,642 --> 00:17:59,643 - No. 487 00:17:59,644 --> 00:18:01,078 - I think things are going well. 488 00:18:01,079 --> 00:18:02,612 - I think they're going very well, 489 00:18:02,613 --> 00:18:04,614 And I think it's weird when someone says, 490 00:18:04,615 --> 00:18:06,850 "hey, go have sex in that room right now." 491 00:18:06,851 --> 00:18:07,852 - Right. 492 00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:09,286 We're gonna wait outside the door 493 00:18:09,287 --> 00:18:11,421 With shotguns while you have sex in that room. 494 00:18:11,422 --> 00:18:12,656 - Right. Don't feel sexy, mister. 495 00:18:12,657 --> 00:18:13,657 - Right. 496 00:18:13,658 --> 00:18:15,592 [scoffs] 497 00:18:18,363 --> 00:18:20,631 - So, uh, it's been a long week, 498 00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:23,400 But the moment of truth is here. 499 00:18:23,401 --> 00:18:27,638 Last night I decided who our new deputy would be. 500 00:18:27,639 --> 00:18:29,072 - I vote for reese. 501 00:18:29,073 --> 00:18:30,607 - You don't get a vote. 502 00:18:30,608 --> 00:18:32,175 - I-- 503 00:18:32,176 --> 00:18:33,511 I do, too. 504 00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:35,346 - You also get no vote. 505 00:18:37,415 --> 00:18:40,050 - On behalf of all the women, we all vote for reese. 506 00:18:40,051 --> 00:18:41,718 - All right, so that's 3 votes... 507 00:18:41,719 --> 00:18:45,155 Equal--equaling zero because it's my decision. 508 00:18:45,156 --> 00:18:47,023 Anyway, uh... 509 00:18:47,024 --> 00:18:48,692 - Do we get a vote? 510 00:18:48,693 --> 00:18:51,261 - The fellas? - Yeah. 511 00:18:51,262 --> 00:18:52,463 - Do you think you do? 512 00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:58,101 I'm sorry, you also get no vote. 513 00:18:58,102 --> 00:19:00,236 Uh, it was a very hard decision. 514 00:19:00,237 --> 00:19:03,040 Uh, I took a lot of things into account, 515 00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:05,875 And, uh, I decided on reese. 516 00:19:05,876 --> 00:19:06,877 - [cheering] 517 00:19:06,878 --> 00:19:08,512 - Yes! - Gimme 5! 518 00:19:08,513 --> 00:19:11,882 - Uh, buh--buh--buh-- and then, uh, 519 00:19:11,883 --> 00:19:13,483 Apparently last night his national guard unit 520 00:19:13,484 --> 00:19:16,353 Got called up, so he's going to tikrit and, uh, 521 00:19:16,354 --> 00:19:17,354 Took himself out of the running. 522 00:19:17,355 --> 00:19:19,423 And, uh, the girl--jackson-- 523 00:19:19,424 --> 00:19:21,491 - Yes, yes. 524 00:19:21,492 --> 00:19:24,027 - ...Is, uh, going on to do ultimate fighting 525 00:19:24,028 --> 00:19:25,195 Or something, I heard. 526 00:19:25,196 --> 00:19:27,097 So we're going with kimball. 527 00:19:27,098 --> 00:19:28,098 - Who? 528 00:19:28,099 --> 00:19:29,099 - Kimball. 529 00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:30,634 - Who's that? - Again, who? 530 00:19:30,635 --> 00:19:32,937 - Well, she looks like, uh... 531 00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:33,937 [knock on door] 532 00:19:33,938 --> 00:19:35,839 Oh, kimball. 533 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,108 - Hey, could you all maybe give me a hand here? 534 00:19:38,109 --> 00:19:39,242 I collared these few guys. 535 00:19:39,243 --> 00:19:41,444 I just need to book 'em. 536 00:19:41,445 --> 00:19:43,146 - Just--just book 'em. 537 00:19:43,147 --> 00:19:44,381 The forms are right there. 538 00:19:44,382 --> 00:19:45,682 Help her out. 539 00:19:45,683 --> 00:19:49,086 - We put the guys who did bad things in the jail. 540 00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:50,086 - Oh, all right. 541 00:19:50,087 --> 00:19:51,555 - It's very self-explanatory. 542 00:19:51,556 --> 00:19:52,556 You'll figure it out. 543 00:19:52,557 --> 00:19:53,724 - All right, move it, come on! 544 00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:55,225 - Rookie. 545 00:19:55,226 --> 00:19:58,295 - That one. That's the one. Kimball. 546 00:19:58,296 --> 00:20:00,597 She had, like, 17 arrests. 547 00:20:00,598 --> 00:20:01,731 - I don't mean to be sexist, 548 00:20:01,732 --> 00:20:03,867 But she doesn't really fill out a sweat suit. 549 00:20:05,837 --> 00:20:07,070 - No, she doesn't, really. 550 00:20:07,071 --> 00:20:09,005 [siren] 551 00:20:14,545 --> 00:20:16,146 [siren] 552 00:20:16,147 --> 00:20:19,516 - Ok, gang, so let's give a very warm welcome 553 00:20:19,517 --> 00:20:21,485 To the newest member of our family, 554 00:20:21,486 --> 00:20:24,187 Deputy kimball. Come on up. 555 00:20:24,188 --> 00:20:25,489 - Wow. Ha ha. 556 00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:28,892 Hey, everybody. 557 00:20:28,893 --> 00:20:33,496 Uh, my name is deputy-- I like saying that-- 558 00:20:33,497 --> 00:20:35,398 Deputy kimball. 559 00:20:35,399 --> 00:20:37,467 I just--I did want to say that 560 00:20:37,468 --> 00:20:39,102 I don't want anybody to feel threatened 561 00:20:39,103 --> 00:20:40,837 Or like I'm replacing anybody, 562 00:20:40,838 --> 00:20:42,573 'cause that is not the case... 563 00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:43,707 From what I've been told. 564 00:20:43,708 --> 00:20:45,509 - [muttering] 565 00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:48,177 - I know I can be intimidating at times, 566 00:20:48,178 --> 00:20:50,380 You know, it's like, I'm wooden on the outside-- 567 00:20:50,381 --> 00:20:52,182 On the inside it's more like pudding. 568 00:20:56,354 --> 00:20:57,487 - Ok. 569 00:20:57,488 --> 00:20:58,889 - Ok, all right, ok. 570 00:20:58,890 --> 00:21:00,257 - Ok. Pudding on the inside, wonderful. 571 00:21:00,258 --> 00:21:01,758 Captioning made possible by mtv networks 572 00:21:01,759 --> 00:21:03,293 Captioned by the national captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org-- 573 00:21:03,294 --> 00:21:04,461 - I'm sort of like-- 574 00:21:04,462 --> 00:21:06,063 You remember when they added oliver 575 00:21:06,064 --> 00:21:08,699 To "the brady bunch"? 576 00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,633 You remember that little boy with the blond hair? 577 00:21:10,634 --> 00:21:12,802 - Yeah, that's sort of when it all went downhill. 578 00:21:12,803 --> 00:21:14,371 - Well, but my point is, 579 00:21:14,372 --> 00:21:16,940 I wasn't jan, you know what I'm saying, 580 00:21:16,941 --> 00:21:18,608 When they switched jan. 581 00:21:18,609 --> 00:21:19,976 - Kind of like on "the cosby show" 582 00:21:19,977 --> 00:21:22,011 When they brought in the little cute little girl thing. 583 00:21:22,012 --> 00:21:23,147 - Right, yeah. 584 00:21:23,148 --> 00:21:25,815 - You're basically like a spare tire... 585 00:21:25,816 --> 00:21:28,118 In case one of us goes flat. 586 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:30,087 - Kind of like frasier on "cheers," kind of. 587 00:21:30,088 --> 00:21:31,321 - Very much so. 588 00:21:31,322 --> 00:21:33,523 - I enjoy that program, I'll tell you that. 589 00:21:33,573 --> 00:21:38,123 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39019

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