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1
00:00:10,534 --> 00:00:11,968
( Man on radio ) Name every single
musical by Stephen Sondheim
2
00:00:12,067 --> 00:00:14,968
for two free tickets
to the Amy grant concert
3
00:00:15,067 --> 00:00:17,334
at the el dorado theater.
4
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:18,834
Oh, my God,
that's such a gimme.
5
00:00:18,934 --> 00:00:19,868
Hit the lights,
let's find a phone.
6
00:00:19,968 --> 00:00:20,968
That is so easy.
7
00:00:21,067 --> 00:00:22,167
Into the woods,Sweeney Todd, company,
8
00:00:22,267 --> 00:00:23,567
a little night music,merrily we roll along,
9
00:00:23,667 --> 00:00:25,000
West Side story.
10
00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:28,868
No, I thought Leonard Bernstein
wrote West Side story.
11
00:00:28,968 --> 00:00:31,434
Oh, no, no, he did, but
the lyrics are actually by...
12
00:00:31,534 --> 00:00:33,834
( Crash )
13
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:36,400
( Sirens )
14
00:00:36,501 --> 00:00:39,300
( Tires screeching )
15
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:42,367
Oh ! Oh...
16
00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:49,133
( Screaming )
17
00:01:09,868 --> 00:01:11,567
( Siren )
18
00:01:14,767 --> 00:01:15,734
( Man )
I think we should all give
19
00:01:15,834 --> 00:01:17,167
a great, big hand
to Trudy Wiegel,
20
00:01:17,267 --> 00:01:19,701
who did beautiful
cover artwork
21
00:01:19,801 --> 00:01:22,701
for our new
"bomb threats" brochure.
22
00:01:22,801 --> 00:01:24,434
( Applause )
23
00:01:24,534 --> 00:01:26,868
( Woman )
Way to go, Trudy.
24
00:01:26,968 --> 00:01:30,067
Did you do it on the computer,
or you just drew it by...
25
00:01:30,167 --> 00:01:31,934
Actually, I took it from
26
00:01:32,033 --> 00:01:34,000
sparks' Sheriff Department
"bomb threats."
27
00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:35,701
I just photocopied it.
28
00:01:35,801 --> 00:01:41,968
But I photo...
I photocopied it.
29
00:01:42,067 --> 00:01:42,968
Okay, next order
of business.
30
00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:48,167
We have received
here at the department...
31
00:01:48,267 --> 00:01:52,467
They are doing an execution
of a convicted felon
32
00:01:52,567 --> 00:01:54,234
down there in Carson city,
33
00:01:54,334 --> 00:01:57,934
and we have received
two passes to be eyewitnesses
34
00:01:58,033 --> 00:02:01,734
to the execution of this...
I don't know what he is.
35
00:02:01,834 --> 00:02:02,901
He's a serial
murderer or something.
36
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,334
Now, I know that... I know
everybody wants these,
37
00:02:05,434 --> 00:02:09,400
so we're gonna do it the way we
generally do stuff like this,
38
00:02:09,501 --> 00:02:10,167
and we're gonna
do a scavenger hunt.
39
00:02:10,267 --> 00:02:13,267
( Cheering )
40
00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:14,968
While you're out there
fighting crime today,
41
00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:19,501
keep on the lookout for
a crackhead with a wig.
42
00:02:19,601 --> 00:02:20,434
Five points.
43
00:02:20,534 --> 00:02:21,534
Easy.
44
00:02:21,634 --> 00:02:24,267
Uh, perp over 6'5",
that's ten points.
45
00:02:24,367 --> 00:02:27,868
Man with teats is five.
46
00:02:27,968 --> 00:02:29,901
Best-looking hooker, 15.
47
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,934
Red foreign car,
perp with an animal tattoo,
48
00:02:33,033 --> 00:02:37,100
and, uh, double points
if they're Jewish.
49
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,334
When we tally it all up,
50
00:02:38,434 --> 00:02:40,200
whoever's got the most
points gets the passes.
51
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:43,033
And, uh, don't be
planting evidence.
52
00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:46,367
They have to be a bona...
Bona fide arrest, okay?
53
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:47,367
Jones?
54
00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:49,300
Yeah, uh, lieutenant,
55
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,934
would you mind specifying
"man with teats"?
56
00:02:53,033 --> 00:02:56,267
I mean, technically,
I guess, I'm a man with teats.
57
00:02:56,367 --> 00:02:59,133
No, they gotta be bigger
than Jones' to count.
58
00:02:59,234 --> 00:03:02,234
You gotta be, really,
at least like a "b" or "c" cup.
59
00:03:02,334 --> 00:03:05,033
So as you book them,
I'll tally them up.
60
00:03:05,133 --> 00:03:09,234
And no cheating,
no cheating, no cheating.
61
00:03:09,334 --> 00:03:11,400
Getting two tickets to this
execution is kinda like
62
00:03:11,501 --> 00:03:13,868
getting two tickets
right up front at nascar,
63
00:03:13,968 --> 00:03:16,734
and you know that
Jeff Gordon's gonna die.
64
00:03:16,834 --> 00:03:18,434
( Jones )
It's ringing, okay.
65
00:03:18,534 --> 00:03:20,033
Hello?
66
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:22,167
Hi, yes, could I get
a pizza for delivery?
67
00:03:22,267 --> 00:03:24,567
Mm-hmm.
68
00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:27,934
I'm on Peckham and...
69
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:29,033
Neil.
70
00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:29,934
Neil.
71
00:03:30,033 --> 00:03:31,100
Near the Rec Center.
72
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,133
Near the Rec Center.
73
00:03:32,234 --> 00:03:33,100
Complex, yeah.
74
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,634
Complex, yeah,
the Rec Center complex.
75
00:03:34,734 --> 00:03:39,033
Could I get a large
pepperoni, mush.
76
00:03:39,133 --> 00:03:40,534
Tell them, uh...
77
00:03:40,634 --> 00:03:42,133
15 minutes?
78
00:03:42,234 --> 00:03:44,000
Yeah, could I get
that in 15 minutes?
79
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:47,133
I'll give you
an extra $20.
80
00:03:47,234 --> 00:03:48,334
Never gonna make it.
81
00:03:48,434 --> 00:03:49,634
It's about 47
miles from here.
82
00:03:49,734 --> 00:03:51,300
Okay, great.
83
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,834
Thanks.
84
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,200
Cool, he's the guy, right?
85
00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:57,400
He's the one.
86
00:03:57,501 --> 00:03:58,634
He's the one.
87
00:03:58,734 --> 00:04:00,033
Oh, there he is.
88
00:04:00,133 --> 00:04:01,367
Flip on the old
lights there.
89
00:04:01,467 --> 00:04:03,801
Hey... slow down there.
90
00:04:03,901 --> 00:04:06,868
Look at that,
Mario in the pits.
91
00:04:06,968 --> 00:04:08,801
Go, all right.
92
00:04:08,901 --> 00:04:11,734
Oh.
93
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:13,033
How you doing
today, sir?
94
00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:14,701
Um, hi.
95
00:04:14,801 --> 00:04:16,300
Hi, I need you to do
three things for me.
96
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:17,968
Can you shut off
your vehicle,
97
00:04:18,067 --> 00:04:19,601
grab your license,
98
00:04:19,701 --> 00:04:22,601
and step out of
the car there, sir?
99
00:04:22,701 --> 00:04:24,501
Okay, did I do
something wrong?
100
00:04:24,601 --> 00:04:26,501
Well, we got you for
speeding there, buddy.
101
00:04:26,601 --> 00:04:27,968
Whoa!
102
00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:30,834
Let me see,
whoa, yikes.
103
00:04:30,934 --> 00:04:31,734
You're Phil?
104
00:04:31,834 --> 00:04:33,033
Yes, yeah.
105
00:04:33,133 --> 00:04:35,067
Okay, how tall
are you, Phil 6'9"?
106
00:04:35,167 --> 00:04:36,801
6'9", yeah.
107
00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:39,567
High up top.
108
00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:41,434
Phil, are you a Jew?
109
00:04:41,534 --> 00:04:43,033
Jew ? No, no, no, no.
110
00:04:43,133 --> 00:04:45,067
I swear.
111
00:04:45,167 --> 00:04:47,467
No ? Dammit.
112
00:04:47,567 --> 00:04:49,400
Okay, well, pop
on in there, Phil.
113
00:04:49,501 --> 00:04:51,734
Pizza...
114
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,000
Yeah, we'll deliver
that for you.
115
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:54,868
It's peckham
and Neil, right?
116
00:04:54,968 --> 00:04:56,367
Yeah, wait,
how do you...
117
00:04:56,467 --> 00:04:58,901
Well, that's where
they always go.
118
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,334
Huh?
119
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:03,701
Okay, so we got him
for speeding and...
120
00:05:03,801 --> 00:05:06,467
Driving without a license.
121
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,667
Crackheads, crackheads.
122
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:12,634
Isn't one of your first
cousins really super tall?
123
00:05:12,734 --> 00:05:15,801
Yeah, but he just
moved to Denver.
124
00:05:15,901 --> 00:05:18,467
Yeah that's
a bit of a haul.
125
00:05:18,567 --> 00:05:20,167
Uncle Steve just
moved to Denver.
126
00:05:20,267 --> 00:05:21,767
He's your Uncle ? I thought
he was your first cousin.
127
00:05:21,868 --> 00:05:23,501
No, no, no,
well, it's both.
128
00:05:23,601 --> 00:05:25,100
It's kind of
a complicated thing.
129
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,634
His mom and my grandma...
130
00:05:26,734 --> 00:05:29,601
Yeah, their stump
runs pretty tight.
131
00:05:29,701 --> 00:05:34,767
Uh... crackhead with
a wig right there... boom.
132
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,634
No, regular lady.
133
00:05:36,734 --> 00:05:37,667
Regular old lady.
134
00:05:37,767 --> 00:05:38,934
Wait a second.
135
00:05:39,033 --> 00:05:40,501
I don't wanna
plant crack on her.
136
00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:41,701
We could.
137
00:05:41,801 --> 00:05:42,934
That's a wig, but I don't
wanna plant crack on her.
138
00:05:43,033 --> 00:05:45,400
Big Mike, big Mike!
139
00:05:45,501 --> 00:05:46,801
Make a left up
at this corner.
140
00:05:46,901 --> 00:05:48,234
Big Mike's been
bragging about getting
141
00:05:48,334 --> 00:05:50,734
a brand-new tiger
tattoo or something.
142
00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:52,667
He's been talking about
it all week long, yeah.
143
00:05:52,767 --> 00:05:54,133
Oh, man, and if he
has crack on him...
144
00:05:54,234 --> 00:05:55,434
Yeah, he always
has crack on him.
145
00:05:55,534 --> 00:05:56,300
You think?
146
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,200
Yeah, yeah.
147
00:05:57,300 --> 00:05:58,901
Oh, there he is,
ba-boom, big Mike.
148
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,000
Captain of
suspicious behavior.
149
00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:03,701
Man with
an animal tattoo.
150
00:06:03,801 --> 00:06:04,734
Oh, five points.
151
00:06:04,834 --> 00:06:06,000
Hey, Mike.
152
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:08,968
How you doing, big Mike?
Sheriff's department.
153
00:06:09,067 --> 00:06:10,901
How you doing, Mike?
154
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,000
Hey, you wanna
put that hose down?
155
00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:14,067
Hey, hey!
156
00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:15,334
Put the hose down, Mike.
157
00:06:15,434 --> 00:06:16,501
Put the hose
down, Mike.
158
00:06:16,601 --> 00:06:19,767
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
159
00:06:19,868 --> 00:06:21,167
Illegal to fill
up a pool?
160
00:06:21,267 --> 00:06:22,367
No, no, put it down.
161
00:06:22,467 --> 00:06:23,734
Don't freak out.
162
00:06:23,834 --> 00:06:24,901
I'm not freaking out.
163
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,601
Hey, Mike, Mike!
164
00:06:26,701 --> 00:06:27,601
Don't shoot
the mailbox.
165
00:06:27,701 --> 00:06:30,434
Mike, hey, hey, hey!
166
00:06:30,534 --> 00:06:32,601
Mike, Mike!
167
00:06:32,701 --> 00:06:36,734
( Shouting )
168
00:06:36,834 --> 00:06:38,367
I got him, I got him!
169
00:06:38,467 --> 00:06:39,667
Get down!
170
00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:41,467
Down on the ground!
171
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,067
Where's your
tattoo there, Mike?
172
00:06:43,167 --> 00:06:44,167
Where's your tattoo?
173
00:06:44,267 --> 00:06:45,501
There it is,
there it is!
174
00:06:45,601 --> 00:06:47,100
( Screaming )
175
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,601
That's a nice-looking dragon
there you got there, Mike.
176
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:50,834
It's a panther.
177
00:06:50,934 --> 00:06:51,868
That's a dragon.
178
00:06:51,968 --> 00:06:52,934
Can you see it?
179
00:06:53,033 --> 00:06:54,267
You thought it
was a panther?
180
00:06:54,367 --> 00:06:55,467
It's a panther.
181
00:06:55,567 --> 00:06:56,834
No, that's a dragon.
182
00:06:56,934 --> 00:06:58,534
My sister's shop...
183
00:06:58,634 --> 00:07:00,667
She put it on and
said it was a panther.
184
00:07:00,767 --> 00:07:02,000
No, that's a dragon.
185
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,467
All right, now.
186
00:07:03,567 --> 00:07:05,367
I'm gonna have to
pat you down now, Mike.
187
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:08,434
It's a dragon,
it ain't a panther.
188
00:07:08,534 --> 00:07:10,400
Just put your hands there,
and we gotta pat you down.
189
00:07:10,501 --> 00:07:11,701
It ain't a panther?
190
00:07:11,801 --> 00:07:12,834
We can't take him in
just for the tattoo.
191
00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:15,200
It's a dragon,
I got a dragon?
192
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:16,334
Leave her alone.
193
00:07:16,434 --> 00:07:17,767
We got a...
194
00:07:17,868 --> 00:07:19,501
That's not illegal.
195
00:07:19,601 --> 00:07:21,868
He's got $3,
that's not illegal.
196
00:07:21,968 --> 00:07:23,467
What am I getting
charged with, man?
197
00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:25,000
Watering the lawn
and hanging out
198
00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:28,434
and being peaceable and
stuff and hanging out?
199
00:07:28,534 --> 00:07:29,934
He did threaten
us with the hose.
200
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:32,834
He almost sprayed
us with a hose.
201
00:07:32,934 --> 00:07:35,801
I got a ( Bleep ) dragon
tattooed instead of a panther.
202
00:07:35,901 --> 00:07:37,234
We gotta get
something on him.
203
00:07:37,334 --> 00:07:38,400
I'm gonna kill
you, Brenda!
204
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:39,667
Hey, hey!
205
00:07:39,767 --> 00:07:41,634
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
206
00:07:41,734 --> 00:07:43,734
That's illegal,
that's illegal.
207
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:44,968
You're not allowed
to say that.
208
00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:46,701
I'm not gonna kill her.
209
00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:48,801
I'm just gonna
( Bleep ) her up.
210
00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:49,767
No, you can't do that.
211
00:07:49,868 --> 00:07:52,200
I'm sorry, Mike.
212
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:54,834
Well, uh,
it is a dragon.
213
00:07:54,934 --> 00:07:57,167
It's not a traditional animal
214
00:07:57,267 --> 00:07:59,300
in the canon of
animals, but, uh...
215
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:00,367
Five points.
216
00:08:00,467 --> 00:08:02,868
It's a pretty good start,
pretty good start.
217
00:08:02,968 --> 00:08:04,167
I thought it was
a ( Bleep ) panther.
218
00:08:05,567 --> 00:08:08,667
( Siren )
219
00:08:08,767 --> 00:08:10,400
If I win
the scavenger hunt, okay,
220
00:08:10,501 --> 00:08:12,667
and if I get those tickets
to the execution,
221
00:08:12,767 --> 00:08:17,901
you know, those have a market
value of at least $300 apiece.
222
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,400
I'm selling them,
I gotta get a refrigerator.
223
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:23,033
( Laughing )
224
00:08:23,133 --> 00:08:27,868
Yeah... all right.
225
00:08:27,968 --> 00:08:29,734
Hey, hey, hey,
ladies, hold on.
226
00:08:29,834 --> 00:08:31,467
Everybody come back.
227
00:08:31,567 --> 00:08:33,701
Huh ? Come on,
bring it on back.
228
00:08:33,801 --> 00:08:35,634
Come on.
229
00:08:35,734 --> 00:08:41,834
Let me get
a good look at... you.
230
00:08:41,934 --> 00:08:44,133
No, mm-mm.
231
00:08:44,234 --> 00:08:46,100
You're a little
bit too thick.
232
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,000
Sister, come here,
come here.
233
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:49,734
Come stand right here.
234
00:08:49,834 --> 00:08:52,267
Reason I can't pick you...
See, you can't have that...
235
00:08:52,367 --> 00:08:56,200
When the edges is in Africa
and the back is in China,
236
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:58,968
them continents
don't meet, huh?
237
00:08:59,067 --> 00:09:00,167
Huh?
238
00:09:00,267 --> 00:09:02,467
You go on and get you
some hair that blends in.
239
00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:07,100
Come here, come here.
240
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:11,133
You got potential.
241
00:09:11,234 --> 00:09:13,467
Girls, it's
your lucky day.
242
00:09:13,567 --> 00:09:16,467
Y'all staying,
she going.
243
00:09:16,567 --> 00:09:18,667
Let's go, thataway.
244
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,534
Ciao ???.
245
00:09:20,634 --> 00:09:22,767
Yeah, ciao ???.
246
00:09:22,868 --> 00:09:24,934
Haha!
247
00:09:25,033 --> 00:09:26,501
No, no, no, no,
no, stand up.
248
00:09:26,601 --> 00:09:27,968
Stand up straight.
249
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:30,868
Look, right here,
right across here,
250
00:09:30,968 --> 00:09:32,834
in your T-zone,
you're kinda oily.
251
00:09:32,934 --> 00:09:34,033
You understand
what I'm saying?
252
00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:34,868
My teeth?
253
00:09:34,968 --> 00:09:38,400
No, not your teeth...
T-zone!
254
00:09:38,501 --> 00:09:41,033
All you need now
is a beauty mark.
255
00:09:41,133 --> 00:09:42,000
You know
what that is?
256
00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:43,634
No ???
257
00:09:43,734 --> 00:09:45,767
Beauty mark, mole,
this right here.
258
00:09:45,868 --> 00:09:47,100
( Foreign language )
259
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:51,067
Girl, will you please get
off me about the sideburns?
260
00:09:51,167 --> 00:09:52,267
You're not getting
sideburns, no!
261
00:09:52,367 --> 00:09:54,534
I said no!
Now zip it.
262
00:09:54,634 --> 00:09:57,634
If I win the scavenger hunt,
I'm taking Jonesy,
263
00:09:57,734 --> 00:09:59,734
officer Jones.
264
00:10:03,601 --> 00:10:04,734
What ? What's the look?
265
00:10:04,834 --> 00:10:06,067
No look.
266
00:10:06,167 --> 00:10:08,734
No look.
267
00:10:08,834 --> 00:10:10,567
You were the one
looking at me.
268
00:10:10,667 --> 00:10:12,667
I'm just looking
to see why you...
269
00:10:12,767 --> 00:10:15,667
Seem like you staring daggers
at me all of a sudden.
270
00:10:15,767 --> 00:10:18,501
I wasn't staring
daggers at you.
271
00:10:18,601 --> 00:10:21,767
I was looking at you
'cause you were talking.
272
00:10:21,868 --> 00:10:23,234
I don't think Jones would
go with you, anyway.
273
00:10:23,334 --> 00:10:26,367
He would.
274
00:10:26,467 --> 00:10:28,767
He likes white
chocolate, I think.
275
00:10:28,868 --> 00:10:32,100
I know for a personal fact
that Jones eats the dark piece
276
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:35,167
off the chicken, huh?
277
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:36,901
Huh?
278
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,968
And I've seen him...
279
00:10:41,067 --> 00:10:42,968
Very close to some
white breast meat.
280
00:10:43,067 --> 00:10:43,934
You have not.
281
00:10:44,033 --> 00:10:44,767
Yes, I have.
282
00:10:44,868 --> 00:10:45,534
You have not.
283
00:10:45,634 --> 00:10:46,400
On many occasions.
284
00:10:46,501 --> 00:10:47,167
You have not!
285
00:10:47,267 --> 00:10:48,167
On many occasions.
286
00:10:48,267 --> 00:10:49,968
Please.
287
00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:54,434
Come on over here and let
me get a good look at you.
288
00:10:54,534 --> 00:10:56,100
Oh...
289
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:57,033
( Foreign language )
290
00:10:57,133 --> 00:10:58,834
Look at you.
291
00:10:58,934 --> 00:11:00,767
( Foreign language )
292
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:04,868
Beautiful, Hollywood?
Yes, whatever, it's beautiful.
293
00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:06,200
Jennifer Lopez.
294
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:09,100
No, you ain't Jennifer Lopez,
but you're beautiful.
295
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:13,501
You are, without a doubt,
the best-looking hooker in Reno.
296
00:11:13,601 --> 00:11:15,834
Now you're going to
jail, get in the car.
297
00:11:15,934 --> 00:11:17,033
( Foreign language )
298
00:11:17,133 --> 00:11:20,334
Come on, we going down,
here, put these on.
299
00:11:20,434 --> 00:11:22,601
( Trudy )
Red foreign car.
300
00:11:22,701 --> 00:11:26,834
Five points
for Trudy Wiegel.
301
00:11:26,934 --> 00:11:28,167
Hello there, sir.
302
00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:31,400
I'm gonna need to see
a license and regi... crap.
303
00:11:31,501 --> 00:11:33,834
I left it in neutral.
304
00:11:33,934 --> 00:11:36,234
Oh, ( Bleep )!
305
00:11:36,334 --> 00:11:39,334
( Bleeping )
306
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:43,267
( Screaming )
307
00:11:48,934 --> 00:11:51,501
Oh, crap.
308
00:11:51,601 --> 00:11:54,000
Looked like he might've
been a Jew, too, ( Bleep ).
309
00:11:57,968 --> 00:11:59,534
A lot of people ask me, "how
would you like to die, Garcia,
310
00:11:59,634 --> 00:12:02,968
if you got the death penalty,
if you got executed ?"
311
00:12:03,067 --> 00:12:06,234
I would like to be buried
in dirt up to my neck
312
00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:07,767
with my head sticking out
313
00:12:07,868 --> 00:12:10,934
and have a cobra strike
me right in the face,
314
00:12:11,033 --> 00:12:13,801
'cause I wanna
see death coming at me.
315
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:15,100
I wanna feel the fangs
going in.
316
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,000
I want to feel
the venom pouring into my face.
317
00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:23,033
And then watch the snake back
away as I slowly fade away.
318
00:12:23,133 --> 00:12:24,300
Oh, yeah.
319
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,834
Anyone who wants to die
should be allowed to die.
320
00:12:27,934 --> 00:12:33,801
For instance, if clemmy wanted
me to kill her, I would.
321
00:12:33,901 --> 00:12:35,534
I would do
that for her.
322
00:12:35,634 --> 00:12:38,100
Because it takes
a village.
323
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:39,467
Yeah.
324
00:12:39,567 --> 00:12:42,567
It's that sunny attitude
that keeps the men away.
325
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:49,133
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
326
00:12:50,901 --> 00:12:51,934
Hi.
327
00:12:52,033 --> 00:12:54,334
Sir, you have no idea
how glad I am to see you.
328
00:12:54,434 --> 00:12:57,801
I... actually, could
you step out of the car
329
00:12:57,901 --> 00:13:01,133
with me for a second?
330
00:13:01,234 --> 00:13:03,601
Thank you,
I appreciate it.
331
00:13:03,701 --> 00:13:05,834
Oh, no problem.
332
00:13:05,934 --> 00:13:08,334
Wow, how tall are you?
333
00:13:08,434 --> 00:13:09,634
I'm 6'10".
334
00:13:09,734 --> 00:13:10,734
6 feet, 10 inches?
335
00:13:10,834 --> 00:13:11,801
Yes, ma'am.
336
00:13:11,901 --> 00:13:13,267
Yes!
337
00:13:13,367 --> 00:13:15,267
Uh, I'm afraid, um,
338
00:13:15,367 --> 00:13:16,501
I'm afraid
you're under arrest.
339
00:13:16,601 --> 00:13:18,634
Why?
340
00:13:18,734 --> 00:13:22,534
Uh, for picking
up a hitchhiker.
341
00:13:22,634 --> 00:13:23,968
You can't pick up a hitchhiker
in the state of Nevada
342
00:13:24,067 --> 00:13:26,200
or in the city of Reno.
343
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:28,501
It's illegal, so I'm
gonna have to take you in.
344
00:13:28,601 --> 00:13:33,701
If you wouldn't mind
we took your car,
345
00:13:33,801 --> 00:13:35,901
and I'll just ride
in the passenger seat,
346
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,234
but don't try any
funny stuff, buddy.
347
00:13:39,334 --> 00:13:43,734
Might have to shoot
you or something.
348
00:13:43,834 --> 00:13:47,634
Wait, so I'm under arrest,
and I have to drive?
349
00:13:49,834 --> 00:13:51,634
Oh, man.
350
00:13:51,734 --> 00:13:53,100
He's out
there partying.
351
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,467
Ohh...
352
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:55,734
Friday night,
my friend.
353
00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:57,634
Maybe he's Jewish, looks
kinda Jewish, don't he?
354
00:13:57,734 --> 00:13:59,167
He does look Jewish,
let's see.
355
00:13:59,267 --> 00:14:02,200
No, no.
356
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,133
Hi, sheriff's department.
357
00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:05,067
How you doing
tonight, sir?
358
00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:06,067
How you doing
tonight, sir?
359
00:14:06,167 --> 00:14:08,901
( Singing )
360
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,701
Impressive.
361
00:14:10,801 --> 00:14:12,100
Sir, do you speak
English, sir?
362
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:13,367
Yes, I speak English.
363
00:14:13,467 --> 00:14:14,767
You speak English?
364
00:14:14,868 --> 00:14:16,968
( Nonsense )
365
00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:18,300
Hello.
366
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,300
Hello, how do you do?
Sir, do you have any attire?
367
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,968
Uh, what happened to
all your attire, sir...
368
00:14:23,067 --> 00:14:24,567
Your pants, clothing?
369
00:14:24,667 --> 00:14:27,734
The pants is no more...
No more pants.
370
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,434
Well, that's
abundantly clear.
371
00:14:29,534 --> 00:14:31,534
Very, very hot.
372
00:14:31,634 --> 00:14:36,033
It's a cold night in the biggest
little city in the world.
373
00:14:36,133 --> 00:14:37,133
Sir, you're high.
374
00:14:37,234 --> 00:14:39,300
Have you taken drugs?
375
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,701
Well, I was looking for...
I lost my cell phone, too.
376
00:14:42,801 --> 00:14:44,133
If you see my cell phone,
let me know.
377
00:14:44,234 --> 00:14:46,334
♪ Happy night
378
00:14:46,434 --> 00:14:49,467
♪ no more work
for hrair ♪
379
00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:51,267
What's your name, sir?
380
00:14:51,367 --> 00:14:52,300
Hrair.
381
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:53,467
Hello?
382
00:14:53,567 --> 00:14:54,601
Hrair.
383
00:14:54,701 --> 00:14:55,834
Harod?
384
00:14:55,934 --> 00:15:00,200
H- r - a - i - r.
385
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,033
Your name starts with
an "h" and then an "r"?
386
00:15:02,133 --> 00:15:03,534
Hrair Mnukien.
387
00:15:03,634 --> 00:15:04,667
Mnukien?
388
00:15:04,767 --> 00:15:06,067
Are you Armenian?
389
00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:08,067
Yes, how you know?
Are you Armenian?
390
00:15:08,167 --> 00:15:11,400
No, do I look
Armenian to you, sir?
391
00:15:11,501 --> 00:15:14,367
Where'd you get the... where'd
you get the ecstasy, sir?
392
00:15:14,467 --> 00:15:15,534
My brother.
393
00:15:15,634 --> 00:15:16,701
Your brother?
394
00:15:16,801 --> 00:15:18,067
You have any more gum?
395
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,667
You got some gum.
396
00:15:19,767 --> 00:15:20,767
You have gum in
your mouth, sir.
397
00:15:20,868 --> 00:15:21,901
No more flavor.
398
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,300
Okay, tell you
what we're gonna do.
399
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,901
We're gonna drive to jail,
and then when we get to jail,
400
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,601
if you're good,
you get the gum.
401
00:15:27,701 --> 00:15:29,734
Okay, Hrair?
402
00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:32,534
You're very nice
street-cleaning policemen.
403
00:15:32,634 --> 00:15:34,267
( Phone ringing )
404
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:37,300
Something's
ringing in here.
405
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,234
Oh, my God,
look at that.
406
00:15:40,334 --> 00:15:42,167
Hello?
407
00:15:42,267 --> 00:15:45,300
Okay.
408
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,200
That was like some
MacGyver ( Bleep ).
409
00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:48,901
We were able to figure
that damn thing out.
410
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,567
A little crime
solving there.
411
00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:53,067
Couldn't find the pants,
called the phone in the pants.
412
00:15:53,167 --> 00:15:55,934
There's one for
father dowling, huh?
413
00:15:56,033 --> 00:15:58,200
Oh, man, it's almost 11:00, we
gotta get back to the station.
414
00:15:58,300 --> 00:15:59,767
All right, all right.
415
00:15:59,868 --> 00:16:01,534
Tyler time.
416
00:16:01,634 --> 00:16:03,267
I wish he was a Jew.
417
00:16:04,167 --> 00:16:06,234
( Dangle ) Moment of truth,
moment of truth, here we go.
418
00:16:06,334 --> 00:16:08,133
And without further ado,
419
00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:11,200
the winner is
Raineesha Williams, 25 points.
420
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:14,200
( Cheering )
421
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:15,567
Gimme the tickets,
gimme the tickets.
422
00:16:15,667 --> 00:16:17,834
Hey, whoa, hope
I'm not too late.
423
00:16:17,934 --> 00:16:19,300
Hope I'm not too late.
424
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,767
What does
Garcia have here?
425
00:16:21,868 --> 00:16:25,767
I believe I have a crackhead
with a wig, five points.
426
00:16:25,868 --> 00:16:28,567
I believe you're over
6'5", that's 15 points.
427
00:16:28,667 --> 00:16:31,234
We got a perp with
an animal tattoo.
428
00:16:31,334 --> 00:16:33,000
That's gonna
be another five.
429
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:34,067
( Williams )
I don't believe this.
430
00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:35,667
Look at that, let's
get it on up there.
431
00:16:35,767 --> 00:16:36,467
Let me Stan out
of the way here.
432
00:16:36,567 --> 00:16:37,701
See that?
That's a bird.
433
00:16:37,801 --> 00:16:39,434
That's 20 points,
ladies and gentlemen.
434
00:16:39,534 --> 00:16:41,467
Hello, hello,
Mr. Winner!
435
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:42,534
I got 25 points.
436
00:16:42,634 --> 00:16:44,100
That's not enough.
That's not enough.
437
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,067
You know what?
I almost forgot.
438
00:16:47,167 --> 00:16:49,667
The pièce de résistance.
439
00:16:49,767 --> 00:16:51,868
Look at that,
star of Daniel.
440
00:16:51,968 --> 00:16:53,968
Look at that,
20 x 2 is 40.
441
00:16:54,067 --> 00:16:56,701
I believe that makes me
the winner by 15 points.
442
00:16:56,801 --> 00:16:58,267
Thank you very much.
443
00:16:58,367 --> 00:16:59,834
That don't prove nothing,
that's just a thing.
444
00:16:59,934 --> 00:17:04,334
Oh, yeah, Jeff Greenberg
on his driver's license.
445
00:17:04,434 --> 00:17:06,234
Jeff Greenberg,
read it.
446
00:17:06,334 --> 00:17:09,467
Garcia wins,
Garcia wins.
447
00:17:09,567 --> 00:17:13,300
So, clemmy, you and me,
baby, what do you say, huh?
448
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,334
I wouldn't go to that
execution with you, Garcia,
449
00:17:15,434 --> 00:17:18,434
if a unicorn flew
out of my butt crack
450
00:17:18,534 --> 00:17:20,667
because that is
a fresh tattoo.
451
00:17:20,767 --> 00:17:22,834
It's bleeding.
452
00:17:22,934 --> 00:17:25,400
Get out, Garcia,
don't nobody wanna go.
453
00:17:25,501 --> 00:17:26,534
Get out.
454
00:17:26,634 --> 00:17:27,734
I'm gonna go by myself
then, I'll find somebody.
455
00:17:27,834 --> 00:17:29,634
I'll find somebody,
don't worry about it.
456
00:17:29,734 --> 00:17:32,767
( Man ) They better find
some crack on that... thing.
457
00:17:34,601 --> 00:17:37,601
( Siren )
458
00:17:39,968 --> 00:17:41,667
That tattoo
on that woman.
459
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:50,100
He's going to jail.
460
00:17:55,767 --> 00:17:57,334
Hey, beautiful.
461
00:17:57,434 --> 00:17:59,868
( Foreign language )
462
00:17:59,968 --> 00:18:03,167
Yes, for you,
I got that for you.
463
00:18:03,267 --> 00:18:05,400
That's my hooker, Garcia.
464
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:07,467
( Foreign language )
465
00:18:07,567 --> 00:18:10,834
Don't wave at me now,
girl, I made you.
466
00:18:10,934 --> 00:18:14,167
You're gonna like this,
whoa, whoa!
467
00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:15,400
Careful, right?
468
00:18:15,501 --> 00:18:17,667
We're speaking
the same language.
469
00:18:17,767 --> 00:18:19,868
( Jones )
Punk ass.
470
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:22,968
I do not believe this.
471
00:18:26,767 --> 00:18:28,467
You like
going downtown?
472
00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:30,567
You look beautiful.
473
00:18:30,667 --> 00:18:32,667
I gotta move
the seat up.
474
00:18:34,267 --> 00:18:35,834
Oh, what the hell.
475
00:18:35,934 --> 00:18:39,367
I'll give her
a shot anyways.
476
00:18:41,234 --> 00:18:42,767
So what do you think about
a burger or something
477
00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:44,868
before we go?
478
00:18:48,734 --> 00:18:50,834
( Honking )
479
00:18:50,934 --> 00:18:53,300
( Man )
Drive safe!
480
00:18:58,834 --> 00:19:00,467
( Crash )
481
00:19:02,234 --> 00:19:03,901
Ohh...
482
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,434
( Screaming )
483
00:19:05,534 --> 00:19:07,868
Wait, wait, wait.
484
00:19:07,968 --> 00:19:09,701
Welcome to benihana.
485
00:19:09,801 --> 00:19:14,834
( Imitating Japanese )
486
00:19:14,934 --> 00:19:17,334
That's what we make
at Benihana's.
487
00:19:17,434 --> 00:19:20,067
Attention, everybody,
it is now adult skate.
488
00:19:20,167 --> 00:19:21,667
If you want to
see some stuff,
489
00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:23,367
there was a guy with
a flamethrower
490
00:19:23,467 --> 00:19:26,734
at the meat
and produce store.
491
00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:28,667
He had a flamethrower.
492
00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:30,300
It was horrifying.
493
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,467
I was there...
This was earlier...
494
00:19:32,567 --> 00:19:34,434
He probably might
still be there.
495
00:19:34,534 --> 00:19:38,467
He was walking around, and he
grabbed this woman's baby,
496
00:19:38,567 --> 00:19:39,834
and he held it up
with a flamethrower.
497
00:19:39,934 --> 00:19:43,000
And he's like, "I'm gonna
burn this baby, everybody !"
498
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:44,234
And everybody
was like, "don't !"
499
00:19:44,334 --> 00:19:47,701
I started crying,
it was so scary.
500
00:19:47,801 --> 00:19:51,067
Step down out of that
truck for me, if you would.
501
00:19:54,601 --> 00:19:56,701
( Siren )
502
00:20:05,033 --> 00:20:06,334
What is a hand job?
503
00:20:06,434 --> 00:20:10,901
You've never given or
received a hand job before?
504
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,234
I don't know,
what is it?
505
00:20:12,334 --> 00:20:14,634
You're a 40-year-old woman who's
never heard of a hand job?
506
00:20:14,734 --> 00:20:16,167
I can believe that.
507
00:20:16,267 --> 00:20:18,133
Put it in context.
508
00:20:18,234 --> 00:20:21,234
What job can
your hand do?
509
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,934
She's never...
Never done it either.
510
00:20:30,033 --> 00:20:31,634
What did you think
a hand job was?
511
00:20:31,734 --> 00:20:32,734
I knew, I knew.
512
00:20:32,834 --> 00:20:33,667
What on Earth...
513
00:20:33,767 --> 00:20:34,901
That's what
I thought it was.
514
00:20:34,951 --> 00:20:39,501
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