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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,403 --> 00:00:03,605 (Studio audience cheering) 2 00:00:03,750 --> 00:00:05,036 I love you, honey. 3 00:00:05,078 --> 00:00:07,080 Here, watch whatever you want. 4 00:00:07,630 --> 00:00:10,208 So this is what a remote feels like. 5 00:00:10,250 --> 00:00:12,363 You never let me touch it before. 6 00:00:12,369 --> 00:00:14,030 Yeah, don't get too used to it. 7 00:00:14,094 --> 00:00:15,713 I'll never let you touch it again. 8 00:00:15,751 --> 00:00:17,132 (Laugh) 9 00:00:17,144 --> 00:00:18,080 Give me that. 10 00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:24,798 I guess they're back. 11 00:00:28,191 --> 00:00:30,144 Doesn't anybody knock any more? 12 00:00:30,616 --> 00:00:33,408 What, were you guys raised in a zom-barn? 13 00:00:34,407 --> 00:00:38,780 (Laughs) 14 00:00:39,135 --> 00:00:41,248 (Groans and coughs) 15 00:00:46,535 --> 00:00:48,162 Sorry, I forgot my line. 16 00:00:48,385 --> 00:00:49,450 Forgot your line? 17 00:00:50,209 --> 00:00:51,583 You don't have a line. 18 00:00:51,855 --> 00:00:54,002 Your line is "Ugh!" 19 00:00:54,122 --> 00:00:55,383 Ugh! 20 00:00:55,503 --> 00:00:56,713 It's the fifth fuckin' time, man. 21 00:00:56,755 --> 00:00:58,131 It's not like a line. 22 00:00:58,172 --> 00:00:59,638 Fuck me. God... 23 00:00:59,675 --> 00:01:01,175 I'm sorry, guys. I can't do this. 24 00:01:01,217 --> 00:01:02,063 I need a minute. 25 00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:03,972 Rob... What's going on, man? 26 00:01:04,004 --> 00:01:05,827 I need a minute. I'm sorry, I need a minute. 27 00:01:05,838 --> 00:01:07,983 Why didn't you finish the scene? 28 00:01:08,103 --> 00:01:09,156 I can't do this. 29 00:01:09,276 --> 00:01:10,484 Well, what's the problem? 30 00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:13,333 The problem is I'm doing a sitcom with zombies. 31 00:01:13,367 --> 00:01:14,458 That's the problem. 32 00:01:14,528 --> 00:01:16,501 Alright... why don't we... 33 00:01:16,621 --> 00:01:18,389 take ten? Alright? 34 00:01:18,464 --> 00:01:20,007 - Come on. - A.D.: Okay, everybody, 35 00:01:20,029 --> 00:01:21,997 - let's take ten. - Tell me all about it. 36 00:01:22,019 --> 00:01:23,621 Zombies back to your dressing room. 37 00:01:23,657 --> 00:01:25,397 If someone could come clean up this broken glass... 38 00:01:25,408 --> 00:01:27,833 Zombies are very hot right now. 39 00:01:27,860 --> 00:01:30,984 Aaron, I don't give a flying fuck, alright? 40 00:01:31,164 --> 00:01:34,186 This show was supposed to be about my life, okay? 41 00:01:34,216 --> 00:01:36,862 And two weeks later, I got zombies 42 00:01:36,879 --> 00:01:38,755 and vampires in my living room, 43 00:01:38,797 --> 00:01:41,134 and I'm trying to kill them with "laughter." 44 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:41,844 Okay? 45 00:01:41,861 --> 00:01:44,408 This show is a gigantic piece of shit! 46 00:01:44,443 --> 00:01:46,529 AARON: Well now, wait, I don't think that it's fair 47 00:01:46,546 --> 00:01:49,007 - It's not fair. - ... To judge the show on Tuesday. 48 00:01:49,028 --> 00:01:51,064 We don't shoot it until Friday, right? 49 00:01:51,083 --> 00:01:53,644 You really just have to trust the process here. 50 00:01:53,666 --> 00:01:55,039 We haven't even done rewrites. 51 00:01:55,050 --> 00:01:57,524 - And Josh here got rewrites, right? - Yes. 52 00:01:57,565 --> 00:02:01,378 You can't rewrite that the premise of the show is insane, okay? 53 00:02:01,402 --> 00:02:04,088 Zombies are bad enough, but vampires?! 54 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,416 Not vampires, "zompires." 55 00:02:08,094 --> 00:02:10,203 - Where did you find this douchebag, seriously? - Replace him. 56 00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:12,455 - No. - Please, oh fuck. Please replace me. 57 00:02:12,485 --> 00:02:14,593 Please, please, please get somebody else. Please! 58 00:02:14,795 --> 00:02:16,870 No. We were laughing. 59 00:02:16,990 --> 00:02:17,825 Honestly. 60 00:02:18,211 --> 00:02:19,696 Didn't you think that he was funny, darling? 61 00:02:19,717 --> 00:02:20,703 Yes! 62 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,375 Very funny, Rob. 63 00:02:22,382 --> 00:02:25,176 I was laughing the whole entire time. 64 00:02:25,218 --> 00:02:26,427 Hilarious! 65 00:02:26,469 --> 00:02:28,538 - And likeable. - Likeable. 66 00:02:28,592 --> 00:02:30,877 These jokes wouldn't make a person laugh, 67 00:02:30,997 --> 00:02:32,941 let alone kill a zombie. 68 00:02:32,955 --> 00:02:34,352 Zompire! 69 00:02:34,394 --> 00:02:35,812 Fuck you, dumb-bag! 70 00:02:35,854 --> 00:02:37,890 - Fuck you! - I don't have to take this shit. 71 00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:39,537 I know funny, and this is funny. 72 00:02:39,544 --> 00:02:42,911 I was head writer on "She Stole My Face." 73 00:02:43,113 --> 00:02:44,478 What the fuck was that?! 74 00:02:44,521 --> 00:02:46,446 Yeah, hang your hat on that piece of shit. 75 00:02:46,522 --> 00:02:48,184 As soon as this show's a hit, I'm replacing... 76 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:49,469 Nobody's replacing anybody. 77 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:50,625 You don't have to replace me, 78 00:02:51,002 --> 00:02:53,088 - 'cause I quit. - Good, go! Bye! 79 00:02:53,137 --> 00:02:55,438 - Rob, you're not... - You're not going to quit. 80 00:02:55,459 --> 00:02:57,520 You're both very nice people. 81 00:02:57,563 --> 00:02:58,445 I like you. 82 00:02:59,544 --> 00:03:01,922 You're good-looking, tall Jews. 83 00:03:02,042 --> 00:03:03,423 Somehow, you're blond. 84 00:03:03,464 --> 00:03:04,774 I don't know how that happened, 85 00:03:04,833 --> 00:03:06,065 but it's good for the tribe. 86 00:03:06,551 --> 00:03:07,996 But I can't do this shit any more. 87 00:03:08,261 --> 00:03:09,244 I'm sorry. 88 00:03:09,534 --> 00:03:10,411 I'm done. 89 00:03:10,443 --> 00:03:12,885 No one can do this show but you, Rob. 90 00:03:12,917 --> 00:03:13,987 No one. 91 00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:21,625 What about Matthew Broderick? 92 00:03:22,233 --> 00:03:23,484 Bill Burr? 93 00:03:25,341 --> 00:03:26,433 Chris Rock. 94 00:03:27,864 --> 00:03:29,677 Jack Black. 95 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:34,202 Jack Black... 96 00:03:34,203 --> 00:03:36,223 - Yes! - Genius. 97 00:03:36,997 --> 00:03:42,170 (♪♪♪) 98 00:03:47,175 --> 00:03:49,552 (♪♪♪) 99 00:03:50,887 --> 00:03:52,055 - Hey. - Hey. 100 00:03:52,097 --> 00:03:53,686 - Havin' a party? - Mm-hm. 101 00:03:54,599 --> 00:03:56,101 That's a good one. 102 00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:02,635 Okay, that'll be $1,152. 103 00:04:02,690 --> 00:04:05,153 Okay... and thank you. 104 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,203 I'm sorry, the card's declined. 105 00:04:10,229 --> 00:04:11,031 Oh. 106 00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,219 It happens sometimes. 107 00:04:12,289 --> 00:04:13,290 Okay. 108 00:04:13,725 --> 00:04:15,527 - Let's try this one. - Sure. 109 00:04:18,372 --> 00:04:20,643 I'm sorry. It's declined, as well. 110 00:04:20,684 --> 00:04:21,954 That's okay. 111 00:04:21,968 --> 00:04:24,295 That's a lot of wine I'd have to put back. 112 00:04:24,337 --> 00:04:25,887 Let me see how much cash I have on me. 113 00:04:25,922 --> 00:04:27,215 Sure. 114 00:04:29,843 --> 00:04:31,260 Dollars or pesos? 115 00:04:33,221 --> 00:04:34,388 (Laugh) 116 00:04:35,556 --> 00:04:37,230 You don't take pesos? 117 00:04:37,350 --> 00:04:38,559 (Chuckle) 118 00:04:40,145 --> 00:04:41,201 You sure? 119 00:04:41,544 --> 00:04:45,316 (♪♪♪) 120 00:04:51,937 --> 00:04:53,407 Come on! 121 00:04:55,368 --> 00:04:56,410 Yeah... 122 00:04:58,079 --> 00:04:59,271 Where the hell am I? 123 00:04:59,391 --> 00:05:01,161 I'm taking you to lunch, remember? 124 00:05:01,174 --> 00:05:03,192 - In this shithole? - This is my spot, man! 125 00:05:03,232 --> 00:05:05,188 Thai noodle bowls. Five-ninety-nine a piece. 126 00:05:05,203 --> 00:05:07,661 I'd rather eat at the empty-Blockbuster over there. 127 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:09,298 The crumbs off the floor. 128 00:05:10,141 --> 00:05:11,826 Boy, they fucked up that place good, huh? 129 00:05:11,829 --> 00:05:13,518 Yeah, who'd have thought the ability 130 00:05:13,551 --> 00:05:15,132 to stream movies directly into your home 131 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,847 would put that place out of business? 132 00:05:18,450 --> 00:05:19,522 I gotta get this. 133 00:05:19,547 --> 00:05:21,440 Our lunch special's about to end. I'll grab us a table. 134 00:05:21,494 --> 00:05:23,151 - Two noodle bowls. - Yeah, you do that. 135 00:05:23,176 --> 00:05:24,862 - ANDY: Hey! - Yeah, hello Andy. 136 00:05:24,875 --> 00:05:26,566 I heard you walked off set. This is not good! 137 00:05:26,607 --> 00:05:27,763 I can't do that sitcom. 138 00:05:27,775 --> 00:05:29,186 You have a contract, 139 00:05:29,194 --> 00:05:30,884 and I don't think I can get you out of that. 140 00:05:30,890 --> 00:05:33,231 I'm sorry for your ten percent, but you gotta get me out of it. 141 00:05:33,248 --> 00:05:34,641 I'm too old for this shit. 142 00:05:34,657 --> 00:05:35,894 Listen to me, you have to give this a chance. 143 00:05:35,907 --> 00:05:38,018 It's 110 grand an episode! 144 00:05:38,031 --> 00:05:39,176 I have enough money. 145 00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:41,086 I did 17 movies with Adam Sandler. 146 00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:42,874 Fuck Adam Sandler! And you know what? 147 00:05:42,916 --> 00:05:44,084 Fuck the money. 148 00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:45,465 I never told you this, man, 149 00:05:45,488 --> 00:05:47,007 but I got into this business for two reasons: 150 00:05:47,028 --> 00:05:49,516 One, okay, fine, the money. Brings me a lot of pleasure. 151 00:05:49,563 --> 00:05:51,841 But two, it's because I care about people. 152 00:05:52,162 --> 00:05:54,385 And Rob, I care about you, man. 153 00:05:54,782 --> 00:05:56,732 We gotta get you back out there, you know? 154 00:05:56,766 --> 00:05:58,754 I'm at the point in my life where I only want to do things 155 00:05:58,788 --> 00:05:59,545 that I care about. 156 00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:00,866 What do I fucking tell them?! 157 00:06:00,905 --> 00:06:02,750 See if one of the zompires can kill me. 158 00:06:02,806 --> 00:06:04,076 You know, I'd like to fucking kill you. 159 00:06:04,196 --> 00:06:05,066 That'll work, too. 160 00:06:05,186 --> 00:06:07,285 Oh, by the way, Ryan Gosling's agent called. 161 00:06:07,311 --> 00:06:09,772 You gotta get the other half of the deposit day-of. 162 00:06:09,824 --> 00:06:11,402 - I'll have his money. - (Phone beep) 163 00:06:11,444 --> 00:06:12,862 I gotta take this. It's my wife. 164 00:06:13,863 --> 00:06:15,658 - Hi, honey. - Hi, baby. How was it? 165 00:06:15,778 --> 00:06:17,328 - Horrible. - That bad? 166 00:06:17,448 --> 00:06:18,993 Worse. There was zompires. 167 00:06:19,035 --> 00:06:20,175 That's stupid. 168 00:06:20,236 --> 00:06:22,496 Hey, is there anything wrong with our credit cards? 169 00:06:22,538 --> 00:06:23,415 There shouldn't be. Why? 170 00:06:23,432 --> 00:06:25,888 I was buying wine for the opening night party 171 00:06:25,936 --> 00:06:27,498 and my card was declined. 172 00:06:27,890 --> 00:06:29,420 - Which one? - All of them. 173 00:06:29,462 --> 00:06:30,520 What about the silver one? 174 00:06:30,554 --> 00:06:32,972 - It's got like a $50,000 limit. - They declined it. 175 00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:35,015 - How about the black one? - That one, too. 176 00:06:35,135 --> 00:06:36,616 How about the really, really black one? 177 00:06:36,638 --> 00:06:37,976 I've tried all of them. 178 00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:39,989 The Starbucks card wouldn't even work. 179 00:06:40,209 --> 00:06:41,521 It's probably just a mistake. 180 00:06:41,530 --> 00:06:42,889 Well, something's going on, 181 00:06:42,894 --> 00:06:44,144 and you better figure out what. 182 00:06:44,185 --> 00:06:46,062 I'll take care of it. I'll be home in a bit. 183 00:06:46,219 --> 00:06:48,039 Jamie's going to give me some food poisoning first. 184 00:06:48,061 --> 00:06:49,652 Okay, I'm gonna go. Love you. 185 00:06:49,732 --> 00:06:50,733 I love you, too. 186 00:06:56,554 --> 00:06:57,547 ROB: I love it. 187 00:06:58,007 --> 00:06:58,997 Good space. 188 00:06:59,410 --> 00:07:01,780 - I could put the refrigerators right there... - Yeah. 189 00:07:02,267 --> 00:07:04,598 - Get the salad bar, juice bar... - Yep. 190 00:07:04,718 --> 00:07:06,280 Cash registers at the front... 191 00:07:06,499 --> 00:07:08,053 - 'Scuse me for a sec. - Sure, go ahead. 192 00:07:08,087 --> 00:07:08,876 Hello? 193 00:07:08,918 --> 00:07:10,729 - MAN: Hi, is this Mr. Schneider? - Yeah. 194 00:07:10,932 --> 00:07:13,121 I'm calling you back from American Express. 195 00:07:13,147 --> 00:07:14,193 How can I help you? 196 00:07:14,373 --> 00:07:15,677 Yeah, my wife is trying to use 197 00:07:15,698 --> 00:07:17,424 the American Express cards and none of them worked. 198 00:07:17,885 --> 00:07:20,084 That's because your account's been maxed out. 199 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,182 Maxed out? That's not possible. 200 00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,129 We paid off every month. I've never missed a payment. 201 00:07:24,161 --> 00:07:25,699 Well, there's another card on your account 202 00:07:25,726 --> 00:07:27,066 with a large outstanding balance. 203 00:07:27,087 --> 00:07:28,896 There is no other card on that account. 204 00:07:31,175 --> 00:07:32,525 What's the name on that account? 205 00:07:33,972 --> 00:07:35,992 The name is "Jeff Schneider." 206 00:07:36,794 --> 00:07:38,106 That's my brother. 207 00:07:39,578 --> 00:07:40,826 Um... 208 00:07:42,130 --> 00:07:43,236 What's the balance on that? 209 00:07:43,515 --> 00:07:44,570 Just a moment. 210 00:07:45,809 --> 00:07:47,540 It's close to a million dollars. 211 00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:50,731 Motherfucker! 212 00:07:54,573 --> 00:07:55,881 I'm going to have to call you back. 213 00:07:56,337 --> 00:07:57,576 Okay, sir. 214 00:08:01,804 --> 00:08:04,111 (Phone ringing) 215 00:08:04,645 --> 00:08:06,014 JEFF: Hey, how's it goin'? 216 00:08:06,538 --> 00:08:08,457 You put your card on my account? 217 00:08:08,492 --> 00:08:09,744 You cocksucker! 218 00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:11,172 Look, I can explain everything. 219 00:08:11,185 --> 00:08:13,691 You explain a million dollars, you motherfucker! 220 00:08:13,733 --> 00:08:15,831 Look, it's all business expenses. 221 00:08:15,860 --> 00:08:17,991 Business expenses? You don't even work for me! 222 00:08:18,111 --> 00:08:20,345 Look, I gotta get... another call comin' in. I gotta go. 223 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,231 Don't you hang up on me. 224 00:08:21,275 --> 00:08:23,223 Don't you, you fuckin' thief! 225 00:08:24,032 --> 00:08:25,469 Alright, I'll let you know. 226 00:08:38,841 --> 00:08:41,780 (♪♪♪) 227 00:08:41,970 --> 00:08:44,009 Well, I looked into all your bank accounts, 228 00:08:44,022 --> 00:08:46,023 your credit card statements, your savings, 229 00:08:46,088 --> 00:08:47,374 your retirement portfolios, 230 00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:48,730 and this is what I found out. 231 00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:49,904 What did you find out? 232 00:08:50,524 --> 00:08:51,414 You're broke. 233 00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,097 What do you mean by broke? 234 00:08:55,355 --> 00:08:56,629 You don't have any money. 235 00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:59,685 Now, when you say I don't have any money... 236 00:09:00,192 --> 00:09:01,617 How much money we talkin'? 237 00:09:01,864 --> 00:09:02,943 None. 238 00:09:05,618 --> 00:09:07,047 I'm sorry. I'm still not getting you. 239 00:09:07,094 --> 00:09:09,111 Your mother and your brother 240 00:09:09,361 --> 00:09:10,755 have been bleeding you dry. 241 00:09:10,789 --> 00:09:12,308 How did they blow all my money? 242 00:09:12,364 --> 00:09:15,307 They spent $857,000 of your money 243 00:09:15,324 --> 00:09:17,298 on one credit card alone. 244 00:09:17,338 --> 00:09:18,068 What?! 245 00:09:18,085 --> 00:09:19,880 If you hadn't maxed out your credit cards recently, 246 00:09:19,888 --> 00:09:21,550 you might not have ever found out. 247 00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:23,886 You're my accountant. 248 00:09:23,928 --> 00:09:25,193 You're supposed to know this shit. 249 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,765 I pay your bills. That's all you pay me to do! 250 00:09:28,166 --> 00:09:29,704 Here are credit card transactions 251 00:09:29,725 --> 00:09:31,102 for the last eight years. 252 00:09:31,391 --> 00:09:33,502 You're going to find some of it pretty interesting. 253 00:09:36,297 --> 00:09:37,530 ROB: Oh my God. 254 00:09:37,554 --> 00:09:39,428 $3,000 for Mr. Chow's... 255 00:09:40,284 --> 00:09:41,385 Jesus. 256 00:09:41,691 --> 00:09:42,952 ITunes? 257 00:09:43,265 --> 00:09:44,907 I don't even know how to get on the internet. 258 00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:47,020 Hooker?! 259 00:09:47,451 --> 00:09:49,275 Who buys a hooker with a credit card? 260 00:09:50,071 --> 00:09:52,248 $2,000 for Whole Foods? 261 00:09:52,872 --> 00:09:53,955 No, wait. That was me. 262 00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:55,335 That one was me. 263 00:09:56,157 --> 00:09:59,050 (♪♪♪) 264 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,304 Holy shit, man. That's crazy! 265 00:10:01,888 --> 00:10:02,722 But the good news is 266 00:10:02,741 --> 00:10:04,557 you made a lot of money these past few years. 267 00:10:05,011 --> 00:10:07,070 The bad news is your family... 268 00:10:07,468 --> 00:10:09,167 I know the bad news, dummy! 269 00:10:09,335 --> 00:10:10,730 My family stole it from me. 270 00:10:11,222 --> 00:10:13,626 - What does Patricia say? - I haven't told her yet. 271 00:10:14,479 --> 00:10:16,361 The premier of her show is tonight. 272 00:10:16,481 --> 00:10:18,144 She's finally going to get to see all those dicks 273 00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:19,650 on stage at the same time. 274 00:10:20,056 --> 00:10:21,704 I don't want to ruin that for her. 275 00:10:21,977 --> 00:10:23,499 I'll wait 'til after the show... 276 00:10:23,969 --> 00:10:25,468 then ruin the after-party. 277 00:10:25,855 --> 00:10:28,235 This might now be the best time to bring this up, 278 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,773 but Ryan Gosling's agent called me. 279 00:10:30,893 --> 00:10:33,581 He wants the other $150,000 for his 280 00:10:33,619 --> 00:10:34,998 personal appearance fee... 281 00:10:36,397 --> 00:10:37,440 ... in an hour. 282 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,670 Well I'm not going to be able to pay it, am I? 283 00:10:39,790 --> 00:10:41,922 I just told you my family stole all my money. 284 00:10:42,555 --> 00:10:43,714 Were you not even listening? 285 00:10:43,752 --> 00:10:46,344 I missed the part in the middle when this hot girl walked by... 286 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:48,846 But I got the gist of it. 287 00:10:48,888 --> 00:10:51,057 You need to call and see if you can get my deposit back. 288 00:10:51,098 --> 00:10:52,392 It's non-refundable. 289 00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,015 What the fuck am I going to do? 290 00:10:54,389 --> 00:10:55,775 I promised Patricia 291 00:10:55,783 --> 00:10:57,933 I'd have Ryan Gosling at her premiere tonight. 292 00:10:59,738 --> 00:11:01,519 I don't know if this is going to piss you off or not, 293 00:11:01,639 --> 00:11:03,915 but there's a guy outside who looks exactly like 294 00:11:03,953 --> 00:11:05,744 a homeless Ryan Gosling. 295 00:11:22,255 --> 00:11:27,260 (♪♪♪) 296 00:11:32,223 --> 00:11:37,228 (♪♪♪) 297 00:11:40,773 --> 00:11:43,109 (♪♪♪) 298 00:11:43,229 --> 00:11:45,194 JAMIE: What are we doing in my apartment again? 299 00:11:45,236 --> 00:11:47,251 We need to get him cleaned up for the party tonight. 300 00:11:47,294 --> 00:11:49,296 No way, man. This is my home! 301 00:11:49,373 --> 00:11:50,783 This guy fuckin' reeks. 302 00:11:50,824 --> 00:11:52,285 Have some compassion. 303 00:11:52,286 --> 00:11:53,666 He's a human being. 304 00:11:53,908 --> 00:11:56,348 I'm pretty sure he understands some of the words you're using. 305 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,790 I am not okay with this. 306 00:11:58,020 --> 00:12:00,000 ROB: Come on. Do something nice for once. 307 00:12:00,042 --> 00:12:01,161 You won't even know he's here. 308 00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:02,171 Yes, I will. 309 00:12:02,190 --> 00:12:03,968 This is a studio apartment. 310 00:12:04,005 --> 00:12:05,756 We'll both always be in the same room. 311 00:12:05,798 --> 00:12:07,156 (Faucet running) 312 00:12:08,324 --> 00:12:10,261 Is he washing his balls in my sink? 313 00:12:10,303 --> 00:12:11,762 What the fuck, man! 314 00:12:12,036 --> 00:12:13,821 He's already trying to better himself. 315 00:12:13,845 --> 00:12:15,138 I clean my dishes in there. 316 00:12:15,162 --> 00:12:17,643 Excuse me, could you please get your balls out of my sink? 317 00:12:17,676 --> 00:12:18,811 Come on! 318 00:12:18,852 --> 00:12:20,573 ROB: He's got to at least clean both of 'em. 319 00:12:20,779 --> 00:12:22,757 Don't leave him with the one dirty one. 320 00:12:23,562 --> 00:12:25,281 Hey, that's my only dress shirt! 321 00:12:25,295 --> 00:12:27,235 I was going to wear that tonight to the party. 322 00:12:27,283 --> 00:12:28,326 ROB: I'll get you a shirt. 323 00:12:28,345 --> 00:12:30,239 Come on, man. How is this even going to work? 324 00:12:30,281 --> 00:12:32,851 All I know is the real Ryan Gosling wants 325 00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:35,582 $150,000 more, of which I don't have... 326 00:12:35,907 --> 00:12:38,316 and this guy's willing to do it for a pair of socks. 327 00:12:38,436 --> 00:12:39,351 Well, he stinks. 328 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,959 And now my whole place stinks. 329 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,358 I'll tell you what stinks, 330 00:12:42,377 --> 00:12:43,828 your attitude, young man. 331 00:12:45,296 --> 00:12:47,057 Listen to you. You're a pussy. 332 00:12:47,411 --> 00:12:48,680 This is dangerous. 333 00:12:48,709 --> 00:12:51,027 He only has to stay here until the show tonight! 334 00:12:51,051 --> 00:12:53,959 Fuck you! I put up with your shit all the time, but this time 335 00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:55,127 this is too much. 336 00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:57,938 This is the one thing that Patricia's been looking forward to, 337 00:12:58,206 --> 00:12:59,772 and you would take that away from her? 338 00:13:01,543 --> 00:13:02,813 I'm ashamed of you. 339 00:13:06,783 --> 00:13:07,901 What if he rapes me? 340 00:13:07,943 --> 00:13:09,785 He's not going to rape you... 341 00:13:10,547 --> 00:13:12,156 You're not going to rape him, are you? 342 00:13:14,367 --> 00:13:15,597 Okay, he's joking. 343 00:13:15,598 --> 00:13:16,853 Rob, I think he's serious. 344 00:13:16,869 --> 00:13:17,828 He's not going to rape you. 345 00:13:17,870 --> 00:13:19,363 He nodded like he was going to rape me. 346 00:13:19,367 --> 00:13:21,102 He's not. You weren't serious, right? 347 00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:25,035 He's joking again! You see? That's what they do. 348 00:13:25,044 --> 00:13:26,860 They get severely sunburned, 349 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,108 and then they go through the garbage, 350 00:13:28,112 --> 00:13:29,396 and then they make jokes. 351 00:13:29,798 --> 00:13:30,883 That's their lives. 352 00:13:30,914 --> 00:13:32,135 Oh, that makes me feel better. 353 00:13:32,136 --> 00:13:33,088 Good. 354 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,054 I'm glad we cleared this up. 355 00:13:38,202 --> 00:13:39,299 See you in a bit! 356 00:13:39,892 --> 00:13:42,770 ♪ 357 00:13:42,811 --> 00:13:45,565 ♪♪ 358 00:13:45,755 --> 00:13:47,238 Lookin' pretty good, huh? 359 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:48,906 ROB: Neil... 360 00:13:51,281 --> 00:13:52,377 I don't have the money. 361 00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:54,557 But you already paid the deposit. 362 00:13:54,581 --> 00:13:55,892 You won't get that money back. 363 00:13:55,908 --> 00:13:56,867 - I know. - (Phone vibrating) 364 00:13:56,987 --> 00:13:58,143 That's a lot of money. 365 00:13:58,210 --> 00:13:59,564 Excuse me a sec. 366 00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:00,988 Yeah, hello? 367 00:14:01,497 --> 00:14:03,200 - I got you out. - Out of what? 368 00:14:03,258 --> 00:14:04,206 The sitcom. 369 00:14:04,421 --> 00:14:05,876 I got you out of your contract. 370 00:14:05,918 --> 00:14:08,474 - It's what you wanted, right? - No! Get me back in. 371 00:14:10,626 --> 00:14:14,576 Are you fucking nuts?! Do you know how much shit 372 00:14:14,590 --> 00:14:17,888 I had to eat from the network to get you out of that contract?! 373 00:14:18,056 --> 00:14:19,175 Fuck!! 374 00:14:21,331 --> 00:14:22,935 Besides, they've already replaced you. 375 00:14:22,976 --> 00:14:23,977 Replaced me with who? 376 00:14:24,204 --> 00:14:25,170 Norm MacDonald. 377 00:14:25,358 --> 00:14:26,499 Shit! 378 00:14:32,609 --> 00:14:33,601 I don't have the money. 379 00:14:33,866 --> 00:14:35,322 You've got to tell these guys to stop. 380 00:14:35,364 --> 00:14:37,597 What about the refrigerator equipment, 381 00:14:37,617 --> 00:14:39,415 the freezers, the display racks? 382 00:14:39,535 --> 00:14:41,870 It's all gonna be delivered here in two hours. 383 00:14:42,642 --> 00:14:45,181 - I don't know yet. - It's 200 grand worth of equipment. 384 00:14:45,599 --> 00:14:47,377 Where do you want me to tell 'em to deliver it? 385 00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:49,154 I'm not sure. 386 00:14:50,572 --> 00:14:51,736 Let me think about it. 387 00:14:56,275 --> 00:14:56,880 Hey, 388 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,345 what happened with the show? 389 00:14:58,508 --> 00:14:59,999 They replaced me with Norm MacDonald. 390 00:15:00,049 --> 00:15:02,140 Norm will be perfect for that show! 391 00:15:06,228 --> 00:15:09,400 ♪ 392 00:15:09,622 --> 00:15:12,760 ♪♪ 393 00:15:13,235 --> 00:15:16,656 ♪ 394 00:15:16,697 --> 00:15:20,200 ♪♪ 395 00:15:20,242 --> 00:15:23,621 ♪ 396 00:15:23,644 --> 00:15:25,539 Are you seriously thinking about doin' this? 397 00:15:25,581 --> 00:15:26,740 Can you think of any other place 398 00:15:26,763 --> 00:15:28,582 we can store this refrigerator equipment for free? 399 00:15:28,626 --> 00:15:29,965 This is breaking and entering. 400 00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:32,156 That's two things that are both illegal! 401 00:15:32,171 --> 00:15:33,359 So what? 402 00:15:34,068 --> 00:15:35,561 If you want to be a huge pussy, 403 00:15:35,681 --> 00:15:36,691 you can wait in the car. 404 00:15:37,496 --> 00:15:38,564 Now gimme your hoodie. 405 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:40,805 Give me your hoodie! 406 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:43,932 - Come on! - Fine. 407 00:15:47,019 --> 00:15:48,005 (Sniff) 408 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,248 Smells like bum urine. 409 00:15:49,271 --> 00:15:51,359 Dude, I don't even notice anymore, 410 00:15:51,479 --> 00:15:53,432 because my whole place smells like bum urine. 411 00:15:53,432 --> 00:15:56,018 Especially the bum with urine all over him 412 00:15:56,028 --> 00:15:58,383 that you brought over to my house that's still there. 413 00:15:58,405 --> 00:16:00,705 You and I both know you don't do shit for me, 414 00:16:00,705 --> 00:16:03,202 yet I still keep paying you for whatever reason! 415 00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:05,930 Well now you're gonna earn your salary for once. 416 00:16:05,935 --> 00:16:07,539 You're gonna help me break into this store, 417 00:16:07,563 --> 00:16:10,191 I swear to God, or I'll use this on your fuckin' balls! 418 00:16:11,267 --> 00:16:14,281 What if somebody comes and we get caught? 419 00:16:14,318 --> 00:16:15,949 Nobody ever came to this place. 420 00:16:16,069 --> 00:16:17,841 That's why they all went out of business. 421 00:16:19,397 --> 00:16:20,260 Come on. 422 00:16:20,331 --> 00:16:21,120 Do the zipper. It's... 423 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,003 - Get the fuck away from me! - Okay, just... 424 00:16:24,021 --> 00:16:27,234 - Just stop with the fuckin... - The whole point of a hoodie is... 425 00:16:28,474 --> 00:16:30,145 Will you stop? Are you insane? 426 00:16:31,230 --> 00:16:33,440 Calm the fuck down, we're not even out of the car yet. 427 00:16:33,482 --> 00:16:34,979 We're gonna get caught. 428 00:16:35,234 --> 00:16:36,465 Let's do this. 429 00:16:36,585 --> 00:16:37,695 Shit. 430 00:16:43,705 --> 00:16:45,286 Why do you get to wear the hoodie? 431 00:16:45,406 --> 00:16:47,123 Because you gave it to me. 432 00:16:49,957 --> 00:16:54,127 ♪ 433 00:16:54,169 --> 00:16:59,258 ♪♪ 434 00:16:59,299 --> 00:17:04,054 ♪ 435 00:17:04,096 --> 00:17:08,308 ♪♪ 436 00:17:12,738 --> 00:17:14,106 Go on. Get in, get in. 437 00:17:14,226 --> 00:17:15,713 Get the fuck in there. 438 00:17:16,191 --> 00:17:19,278 ♪ 439 00:17:19,319 --> 00:17:22,489 ♪♪ 440 00:17:24,116 --> 00:17:27,453 ♪ 441 00:17:27,494 --> 00:17:31,164 ♪♪ 442 00:17:31,206 --> 00:17:34,668 ♪ 443 00:17:34,710 --> 00:17:36,169 Who are you right now? 444 00:17:36,211 --> 00:17:38,088 Nobody better fuck with me today. 445 00:17:38,472 --> 00:17:39,548 Nobody. 446 00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:41,550 (Phone vibrating) 447 00:17:41,812 --> 00:17:43,105 Hi baby, how are you? 448 00:17:43,225 --> 00:17:45,661 Hey baby, what's going on? I haven't heard from you all day. 449 00:17:45,675 --> 00:17:47,347 I've been running around taking care of stuff. 450 00:17:47,389 --> 00:17:50,047 - What's wrong? - Nothing! Everything's fine. 451 00:17:50,053 --> 00:17:51,761 I can tell when you're hiding something from me. 452 00:17:51,789 --> 00:17:52,892 I'm not hiding anything! 453 00:17:52,911 --> 00:17:55,027 If Ryan Gosling can't make it tonight, just tell me. 454 00:17:55,042 --> 00:17:56,915 No, he'll be there! I swear. 455 00:17:56,967 --> 00:17:59,017 - Okay. - Don't worry about anything. 456 00:17:59,026 --> 00:18:00,549 You've worked really hard for this. 457 00:18:00,578 --> 00:18:01,852 Just enjoy yourself tonight. 458 00:18:01,885 --> 00:18:03,035 Okay. I love you. 459 00:18:03,064 --> 00:18:04,740 - I love you too. - Bye. 460 00:18:05,741 --> 00:18:07,488 Can you move that one to the right? 461 00:18:09,870 --> 00:18:11,622 God, I hate when I lie to her. 462 00:18:13,307 --> 00:18:14,416 It's gotta be done... 463 00:18:15,605 --> 00:18:16,585 But I hate it. 464 00:18:17,118 --> 00:18:17,970 Come on. 465 00:18:18,406 --> 00:18:21,214 ♪ 466 00:18:21,256 --> 00:18:25,135 (Scissors snipping) 467 00:18:25,177 --> 00:18:30,140 ♪ ("Drive" -esque synth rock) ♪ 468 00:18:30,182 --> 00:18:35,145 ♪ ("Drive" -esque synth rock) ♪ 469 00:18:35,187 --> 00:18:40,150 ♪ ("Drive" -esque synth rock) ♪ 470 00:18:40,192 --> 00:18:44,804 ♪ ("Drive" -esque synth rock) ♪ 471 00:18:45,014 --> 00:18:46,824 You're a fucking genius! 472 00:18:46,866 --> 00:18:48,367 (Giggle) 473 00:18:48,408 --> 00:18:51,177 That's why you've been my makeup lady for 18 years. 474 00:18:52,208 --> 00:18:53,107 How much do I owe you? 475 00:18:53,227 --> 00:18:54,219 Nothing. 476 00:18:54,246 --> 00:18:55,214 You owe me your life. 477 00:18:56,375 --> 00:18:57,176 Amazing. 478 00:18:57,696 --> 00:18:59,512 He's going crazy again. Make him stop. 479 00:18:59,581 --> 00:19:01,447 - Put the glasses back on. - I got it. 480 00:19:01,868 --> 00:19:02,608 Good. 481 00:19:02,728 --> 00:19:04,186 How'd you get him to sit still for this long? 482 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,098 Oh, I found some weed in the drawer. 483 00:19:06,121 --> 00:19:07,105 That was my weed! 484 00:19:07,121 --> 00:19:08,059 Sorry. 485 00:19:09,853 --> 00:19:11,393 Is that a used condom? 486 00:19:13,047 --> 00:19:14,741 Did you guys fuck in my bed? 487 00:19:16,062 --> 00:19:17,483 Is that his jizz in there? 488 00:19:18,580 --> 00:19:20,511 I can't believe you fucked a homeless guy in my bed! 489 00:19:20,798 --> 00:19:21,806 That's disgusting! 490 00:19:21,829 --> 00:19:24,437 After I cleaned him up, he looked so much like Ryan Gosling 491 00:19:24,778 --> 00:19:26,303 I had to fuck him! 492 00:19:30,881 --> 00:19:32,207 She had to fuck him. 493 00:19:33,913 --> 00:19:38,876 (Women cheering, loud dance music) 494 00:19:38,918 --> 00:19:43,881 (Women cheering, loud dance music) 495 00:20:44,316 --> 00:20:48,988 (Women cheering) 496 00:20:51,019 --> 00:20:53,644 Okay, okay, okay... Here's the plan. 497 00:20:53,883 --> 00:20:55,363 - We've gotta make this quick. - Okay. 498 00:20:55,391 --> 00:20:56,914 We've gotta get him in and get him out. 499 00:20:56,953 --> 00:20:58,993 We don't want him talking to anybody, right? 500 00:20:59,017 --> 00:21:00,468 Especially Patricia. 501 00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:02,930 The only time I want her to see him is on stage. 502 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,080 - Smart. - I'm gonna talk to the tech guy. 503 00:21:05,147 --> 00:21:07,556 I'm gonna tell him to keep the lights down low, alright? 504 00:21:07,580 --> 00:21:09,744 See, women are gonna see "Ryan Gosling" 505 00:21:09,787 --> 00:21:11,384 and they're gonna lose their minds, right? 506 00:21:11,426 --> 00:21:13,313 They're all drunk and... right? 507 00:21:13,345 --> 00:21:14,395 They won't know the difference. 508 00:21:14,433 --> 00:21:15,261 We gotta get him on stage, 509 00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,307 do his little dance number, then get him the fuck out! 510 00:21:17,349 --> 00:21:19,006 - In and out! - Yeah, yes! 511 00:21:19,185 --> 00:21:20,644 What was the last part again? 512 00:21:21,444 --> 00:21:23,809 Get him onstage, do his dance, and get the fuck out! 513 00:21:23,862 --> 00:21:25,423 What was the first part again? 514 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:28,444 Where'd he go? 515 00:21:28,564 --> 00:21:29,528 I dunno. 516 00:21:30,111 --> 00:21:31,321 What do you mean you don't know? 517 00:21:31,363 --> 00:21:32,855 He's not still standing right behind me? 518 00:21:32,913 --> 00:21:34,254 No, he's not standing behind you. 519 00:21:34,283 --> 00:21:36,323 Jesus Christ, where did he go? 520 00:21:36,399 --> 00:21:38,161 Jeez... fuck! 521 00:21:39,038 --> 00:21:40,010 He was right there. 522 00:21:40,062 --> 00:21:41,957 - He was right there. - You were supposed to keep an eye on him! 523 00:21:41,999 --> 00:21:43,750 My eyes were looking that way. 524 00:21:43,750 --> 00:21:45,535 You know he's fucking crazy! Come on! 525 00:21:45,544 --> 00:21:47,896 - Is it too late to find another guy who looks like... - Goddamn it! 526 00:21:47,924 --> 00:21:50,094 Go, come on! Go, go, go! 527 00:21:50,636 --> 00:21:51,526 Go! 528 00:21:51,968 --> 00:21:52,968 (Gasp) 529 00:21:55,313 --> 00:21:56,429 No! Get him out! 530 00:21:56,965 --> 00:21:58,018 What the fuck? 531 00:21:58,076 --> 00:21:59,349 Get out of there! 532 00:22:00,868 --> 00:22:02,435 Oh, it's disgusting! 533 00:22:02,477 --> 00:22:04,387 ... Got Ryan "Grossling". 534 00:22:04,396 --> 00:22:05,971 - Stop it! Stop it! - Bad. 535 00:22:06,019 --> 00:22:08,749 Bad homeless Ryan Gosling. Don't eat that. 536 00:22:08,797 --> 00:22:10,152 Bad, bad. No, no, no. 537 00:22:10,157 --> 00:22:12,284 No more. There's food inside. 538 00:22:12,404 --> 00:22:13,864 Let's go inside, inside. 539 00:22:13,906 --> 00:22:16,157 Food! Pussy! Inside. 540 00:22:16,202 --> 00:22:18,400 Yes, food inside! Come on, come on. 541 00:22:20,865 --> 00:22:23,246 (Women cheering, loud dance music) 542 00:22:41,474 --> 00:22:43,393 Okay, listen, you crazy motherfucker. 543 00:22:43,513 --> 00:22:45,104 I need you to do something for me. 544 00:22:45,145 --> 00:22:47,740 I need you to go out there and act normal. 545 00:22:48,027 --> 00:22:49,129 Okay? 546 00:22:49,363 --> 00:22:52,402 (Women cheering, loud dance music) 547 00:22:52,409 --> 00:22:54,602 PATRICIA: Isn't �ter incredible, ladies? 548 00:22:56,211 --> 00:22:57,968 And he's single, too. 549 00:22:59,451 --> 00:23:00,822 Now, coming up, 550 00:23:00,837 --> 00:23:03,002 we have a very special guest. 551 00:23:03,279 --> 00:23:04,883 I want to thank my lovely husband, 552 00:23:04,902 --> 00:23:07,076 because he made it all happen for us. 553 00:23:07,282 --> 00:23:10,692 So please welcome Ryan Gosling! 554 00:23:10,879 --> 00:23:15,801 (Women cheering) 555 00:23:15,842 --> 00:23:17,427 Go, go! 556 00:23:17,469 --> 00:23:21,723 (Women cheering) 557 00:23:21,765 --> 00:23:25,811 (Women cheering) 558 00:23:25,852 --> 00:23:30,440 (Loud synth rock, women cheering) 559 00:24:14,157 --> 00:24:15,367 Is he taking his dick out? 560 00:24:15,776 --> 00:24:18,329 - Yeah! - Get out there! Stop him! 561 00:24:18,530 --> 00:24:22,481 (Loud synth rock, women cheering) 562 00:24:23,243 --> 00:24:24,536 No! 563 00:24:24,577 --> 00:24:28,415 (Women booing, loud dance music) 564 00:24:29,382 --> 00:24:32,585 (Women booing) 565 00:24:32,627 --> 00:24:36,131 (Disco music, women booing) 566 00:24:36,173 --> 00:24:37,738 Get off! 567 00:24:37,757 --> 00:24:42,179 (Disco music, women booing) 568 00:24:42,221 --> 00:24:46,766 (Disco music, women booing) 569 00:24:47,661 --> 00:24:49,561 What the hell is Jamie doing? 570 00:24:53,317 --> 00:24:54,653 Jamie's, um... 571 00:24:55,453 --> 00:24:56,669 dancing. 572 00:24:58,063 --> 00:24:58,967 You suck! 573 00:24:59,275 --> 00:25:01,698 - Get out! - (Cheering) 574 00:25:01,708 --> 00:25:03,182 - Get him out. - Yes, out. 575 00:25:03,201 --> 00:25:05,558 Yes, yes... Jamie, out! 576 00:25:05,577 --> 00:25:07,287 (Disco music, women cheering, 577 00:25:07,288 --> 00:25:08,997 (booing, and screaming) 578 00:25:09,039 --> 00:25:10,832 (Disco music, women cheering, 579 00:25:10,833 --> 00:25:12,625 (booing, and screaming) 580 00:25:12,667 --> 00:25:14,398 (Disco music, women cheering, 581 00:25:14,399 --> 00:25:16,129 (booing, and screaming) 582 00:25:16,171 --> 00:25:17,360 Ryan!! 583 00:25:17,361 --> 00:25:19,003 (Screech) 584 00:25:22,594 --> 00:25:25,931 ♪ (Relaxing jazz piano) ♪ 585 00:25:25,972 --> 00:25:27,238 - Thanks, pal. - You got it. 586 00:25:30,185 --> 00:25:31,603 PATRICIA: Thank you so much. 587 00:25:31,644 --> 00:25:34,038 WOMAN: We would not have missed it for the world. 588 00:25:34,091 --> 00:25:35,936 Those men were amazing. 589 00:25:36,552 --> 00:25:38,851 PATRICIA: Thank you. They're very talented, I know. 590 00:25:38,902 --> 00:25:40,748 OTHER WOMEN: Thank you. Congratulations! 591 00:25:40,802 --> 00:25:42,472 PATRICIA: They worked so hard. 592 00:25:42,496 --> 00:25:44,992 Hey, congratulations, baby. 593 00:25:45,033 --> 00:25:46,835 - Thank you. - Cheers. 594 00:25:47,117 --> 00:25:48,475 Cheers. 595 00:25:48,863 --> 00:25:50,631 - You pulled it off! - Yeah? 596 00:25:50,669 --> 00:25:53,040 Everybody loved the show... 597 00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:54,418 I loved it. 598 00:25:54,768 --> 00:25:55,903 Thank you. 599 00:25:57,627 --> 00:25:59,839 Uh, can I... will you excuse me, ladies? 600 00:25:59,858 --> 00:26:01,674 - Can I talk to you for a second? - Sure. 601 00:26:09,711 --> 00:26:10,999 How bad is it? 602 00:26:16,516 --> 00:26:17,579 We're broke. 603 00:26:19,109 --> 00:26:20,189 What? 604 00:26:26,136 --> 00:26:28,430 My family's been stealing millions from us. 605 00:26:29,776 --> 00:26:30,920 I knew it. 606 00:26:31,298 --> 00:26:32,745 Why didn't you say anything? 607 00:26:32,865 --> 00:26:35,583 I tried to tell you so many times... 608 00:26:36,833 --> 00:26:38,376 We will be fine. 609 00:26:38,753 --> 00:26:40,380 You still have your TV show. 610 00:26:42,264 --> 00:26:43,467 I quit. 611 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:45,443 I couldn't take the writing. 612 00:26:46,003 --> 00:26:47,282 And I... 613 00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:49,715 We still have cash, right? 614 00:26:50,089 --> 00:26:52,812 I spent it on Ryan Gosling's deposit. 615 00:26:53,344 --> 00:26:55,546 - It was for the show and I didn't want to... - Hey, 616 00:26:55,666 --> 00:26:57,147 I just want to say thank you 617 00:26:57,189 --> 00:26:58,621 for giving me this opportunity. 618 00:26:58,645 --> 00:27:01,293 Oh, thank you for your amazing talent. 619 00:27:02,694 --> 00:27:04,581 - You're a great artist. - Thank you. 620 00:27:04,701 --> 00:27:05,859 You should be proud 621 00:27:05,864 --> 00:27:07,405 of what you created here tonight. 622 00:27:07,405 --> 00:27:08,277 Thank you. 623 00:27:08,617 --> 00:27:10,288 But you're still my nanny, 624 00:27:10,408 --> 00:27:12,223 or I'll get you kicked out of the country. 625 00:27:12,453 --> 00:27:14,598 (Laugh) I'm serious. 626 00:27:17,677 --> 00:27:18,710 (Chuckle) 627 00:27:19,711 --> 00:27:21,498 - See you. Bye. - Bye. 628 00:27:22,714 --> 00:27:23,803 Let's sneak out of here 629 00:27:23,805 --> 00:27:25,675 before they find out our credit cards don't work. 630 00:27:29,437 --> 00:27:30,371 Easy. 631 00:27:30,984 --> 00:27:32,258 Okay, okay, easy. 632 00:27:32,991 --> 00:27:34,264 You're okay, come on. 633 00:27:34,306 --> 00:27:39,269 ♪ (Smooth jazz) ♪ 634 00:27:55,987 --> 00:27:57,581 So what's gonna happen next? 635 00:27:58,477 --> 00:28:00,316 We're gonna have to cut back on a few things. 636 00:28:00,742 --> 00:28:02,042 We can do that. 637 00:28:02,351 --> 00:28:04,348 Instead of going to Whole Foods every day, 638 00:28:04,382 --> 00:28:06,331 we can just shop at Trader Joe's. 639 00:28:06,379 --> 00:28:07,915 Fuck that! 640 00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:12,167 I'll sell both Teslas before I shop at Trader Joe's. 641 00:28:13,700 --> 00:28:16,506 We may have to stop drinking water from Norway. 642 00:28:17,152 --> 00:28:18,834 But I love that water. 643 00:28:18,954 --> 00:28:20,024 What am I supposed to do? 644 00:28:20,031 --> 00:28:22,354 Start drinking water from this side of the planet? 645 00:28:23,132 --> 00:28:24,539 That's disgusting. 646 00:28:25,646 --> 00:28:27,143 What about the doggie? 647 00:28:27,430 --> 00:28:29,442 We can stop giving him that organic, 648 00:28:29,466 --> 00:28:31,411 gluten-free dry food, right? 649 00:28:31,974 --> 00:28:35,099 His shit consistency is perfect right now... 650 00:28:35,949 --> 00:28:37,632 You don't wanna mess with that. 651 00:28:38,036 --> 00:28:39,246 Yeah, you're right. 652 00:28:39,664 --> 00:28:42,031 Come on, let's pick things that make sense. 653 00:28:43,662 --> 00:28:46,918 What if you start flying business class instead of first class? 654 00:28:47,129 --> 00:28:48,589 Once in a while. 655 00:28:50,468 --> 00:28:52,689 No... Not doing that. 656 00:28:52,712 --> 00:28:54,365 (Sigh) 657 00:28:54,868 --> 00:28:56,764 What about your hair products? 658 00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:00,365 You can stop using that black truffle shampoo and conditioner. 659 00:29:00,977 --> 00:29:03,186 I think it's just starting to work. 660 00:29:04,602 --> 00:29:06,678 Can't stop that in the middle. 661 00:29:09,138 --> 00:29:10,662 Look, um... 662 00:29:11,767 --> 00:29:13,360 I'm sorry about all this. 663 00:29:13,420 --> 00:29:14,531 It's okay. 664 00:29:15,472 --> 00:29:17,623 I knew one day you would come around. 665 00:29:18,214 --> 00:29:19,620 When you were ready. 666 00:29:21,924 --> 00:29:23,165 I feel like a fool. 667 00:29:23,858 --> 00:29:24,911 Hey, 668 00:29:25,253 --> 00:29:26,570 you're not a fool. 669 00:29:26,774 --> 00:29:28,384 You were being taken advantage of 670 00:29:28,384 --> 00:29:30,916 by people who you were supposed to trust. 671 00:29:32,994 --> 00:29:35,196 Okay, I've gotta show you something. 672 00:29:35,663 --> 00:29:36,884 Give me one sec. 673 00:29:46,299 --> 00:29:48,550 Okay, so... 674 00:29:48,551 --> 00:29:51,042 - So you got me a hat? - No. 675 00:29:51,162 --> 00:29:52,922 I saved some money 676 00:29:53,185 --> 00:29:55,364 because I knew this day would come. 677 00:29:55,388 --> 00:29:56,412 How much you got in there? 678 00:29:57,681 --> 00:29:59,806 Well, enough to keep us going. 679 00:30:00,062 --> 00:30:01,772 Holy shit! 680 00:30:02,679 --> 00:30:03,930 Oh, thank you... 681 00:30:04,050 --> 00:30:06,956 I knew that paranoia of yours would pay off one day. 682 00:30:06,968 --> 00:30:09,241 Thank you. (Kiss) Thank you. (Kiss) 683 00:30:09,361 --> 00:30:11,047 (Sigh) 684 00:30:11,701 --> 00:30:14,118 I'm still gonna open up my health food store. 685 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:16,287 Not with this money, you're not! 686 00:30:19,081 --> 00:30:20,247 We'll be fine. 687 00:30:20,542 --> 00:30:22,282 Thanks for handling this so well. 688 00:30:22,348 --> 00:30:24,713 No, I'm fucking pissed... 689 00:30:24,754 --> 00:30:26,756 I just don't want to wake up Miranda. 690 00:30:27,757 --> 00:30:28,821 Good to have you back. 691 00:30:28,822 --> 00:30:29,884 (Chuckle) 692 00:30:30,352 --> 00:30:32,605 - I have one question. - What? 693 00:30:32,768 --> 00:30:35,536 Who's that guy you got to play Ryan Gosling? 694 00:30:35,757 --> 00:30:37,808 He smelled like a garbage dump. 695 00:30:39,435 --> 00:30:41,312 I'm pretty sure that was Ryan Gosling. 696 00:30:41,354 --> 00:30:43,481 (Sniff) No. 697 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,317 Ryan Gos-almost? 698 00:30:46,359 --> 00:30:48,127 (Laugh) 699 00:30:48,361 --> 00:30:50,484 - I love you. - I love you. 700 00:30:52,158 --> 00:30:56,508 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 701 00:30:56,558 --> 00:31:01,108 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 48200

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