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Headlines this morning:
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corporations dodge billions in taxes
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00:00:03,539 --> 00:00:04,674
through loophole...
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00:00:04,707 --> 00:00:07,353
- Hey, good morning.
- Hey.
5
00:00:08,052 --> 00:00:09,751
Looks like you have the
weight of the world
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00:00:09,776 --> 00:00:10,880
on your shoulders there.
7
00:00:10,913 --> 00:00:12,347
Who doesn't right now?
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- I don't.
- How?
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00:00:15,784 --> 00:00:18,226
Well, it's kind of like letting go.
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00:00:18,469 --> 00:00:20,223
But Fred, this is the time
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we're supposed to participate,
we're supposed to step up.
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00:00:22,591 --> 00:00:24,727
No, just try to stop understanding
13
00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:26,441
what's wrong, what's right.
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00:00:26,763 --> 00:00:28,765
The less you care,
the happier you'll be.
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00:00:28,798 --> 00:00:32,603
Top 25 reasons to be outraged this week.
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00:00:32,636 --> 00:00:34,237
[MELLOW, FUNKY MUSIC]
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? Ice caps are meltin' day by day ?
18
00:00:39,609 --> 00:00:41,869
BOTH: ? But some deny it's true ?
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00:00:42,945 --> 00:00:48,485
? Drought, famine, flood,
and fear and war ?
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00:00:48,565 --> 00:00:50,985
_
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00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,796
_
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00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,820
_
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_
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00:00:57,124 --> 00:01:01,229
? To tune out the news ?
25
00:01:01,597 --> 00:01:03,566
BOTH: ? Let's give up ?
26
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,568
? Let's just give up now ?
27
00:01:05,601 --> 00:01:09,564
? We can't keep up, give it up now ?
28
00:01:10,306 --> 00:01:12,241
? Nap all day ?
29
00:01:12,274 --> 00:01:14,645
? Let's nap in sunshine ?
30
00:01:14,678 --> 00:01:18,478
? Not depressed, love my naps, yeah ?
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Come on, Skippy.
32
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There you go.
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[DOG WHINES] Walk yourself.
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? ?
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? Wore the same clothes as yesterday ?
36
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? My sweater has a stain ?
37
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? I'm just too tired to read or write ?
38
00:01:42,538 --> 00:01:44,707
? I'll binge TV tonight ?
39
00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:46,644
_
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_
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? With the press of a button ?
42
00:01:51,381 --> 00:01:55,852
? The hunger goes away ?
43
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BOTH: ? Let's give up ?
44
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? Let's all give up now ?
45
00:02:00,283 --> 00:02:03,420
? Quit Facebook, not startin' Snapchat ?
46
00:02:03,538 --> 00:02:05,105
_
47
00:02:05,130 --> 00:02:06,558
_
48
00:02:06,583 --> 00:02:08,696
_
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00:02:08,697 --> 00:02:13,139
? We can't keep up, give it up now ?
50
00:02:13,536 --> 00:02:16,398
? I'm using paper
plates on every holiday ?
51
00:02:18,541 --> 00:02:19,876
Eh, don't bother.
52
00:02:19,908 --> 00:02:21,515
? I'm having juices delivered ?
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? At four times the rate ?
54
00:02:24,013 --> 00:02:26,616
- ? Let's give up ?
- ? Life hacks and shortcuts ?
55
00:02:26,650 --> 00:02:28,571
? Rules for living well ?
56
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- ? Let's give up, baby ?
- ? They sold us on heaven ?
57
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,873
? But why does it feel like hell? ?
58
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- ? Let's give up, baby ?
- ? Nothing left to say ?
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? And nothing left to lose ?
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00:02:37,727 --> 00:02:41,031
? I can give up on me,
but I won't give up on you ?
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? There's something
that we can do together ?
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00:02:44,572 --> 00:02:46,249
_
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00:02:46,274 --> 00:02:49,372
? There's something that we can do ?
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? Let's give up ?
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[EXPLOSION BOOMS]
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[WHEELS ROLLING AGAINST GRAVEL]
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[BIRD SQUAWKING]
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00:03:06,388 --> 00:03:07,957
[ELECTRIC GUITAR SQUEALS]
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- Gate is nice and creaky.
- Yeah.
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00:03:12,595 --> 00:03:14,898
[GATE CREAKS]
71
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Can you believe all this food?
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I-I love it, it's so good,
although I don't know
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00:03:18,338 --> 00:03:20,570
if I like good food better
than bad food, honestly.
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00:03:20,602 --> 00:03:22,305
Who throws out cupcakes?
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00:03:22,339 --> 00:03:23,865
I-I say let's take some of this home.
76
00:03:23,896 --> 00:03:25,508
Uh, do we need a doggy bag?
77
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Let's just take the
whole can home, baby!
78
00:03:27,943 --> 00:03:29,345
- Let's just take it.
- Yeah.
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00:03:29,378 --> 00:03:31,210
- All right, ready?
- Yep.
80
00:03:31,274 --> 00:03:33,241
- You're not pushing.
- Are we pushing or pulling?
81
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- I'm pushing.
- I'm pulling.
82
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We're rats. This thing is enormous.
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00:03:36,447 --> 00:03:37,954
Looks like you're pretending to push.
84
00:03:37,987 --> 00:03:39,589
No, pull, pull!
85
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ALL: Whoa!
86
00:03:41,458 --> 00:03:42,993
No!
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[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]
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[GATE CREAKS]
89
00:03:49,965 --> 00:03:56,072
? ?
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00:03:58,226 --> 00:03:59,856
[ECHOING] Jacqueline!
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00:03:59,977 --> 00:04:01,713
[SIGHS, GROANS]
92
00:04:02,644 --> 00:04:04,613
- Jacqueline?
- Yes?
93
00:04:04,646 --> 00:04:06,882
You didn't pull in the
garbage can, did you?
94
00:04:06,916 --> 00:04:07,995
I did not.
95
00:04:08,118 --> 00:04:09,252
I can't find it.
96
00:04:09,474 --> 00:04:11,776
Maybe it rolled down
the street or something.
97
00:04:12,020 --> 00:04:13,946
It wasn't windy or anything, was it?
98
00:04:14,122 --> 00:04:15,814
What if one of the neighbors took it?
99
00:04:16,493 --> 00:04:18,150
Oh, yeah.
100
00:04:18,443 --> 00:04:20,379
? ?
101
00:04:20,638 --> 00:04:21,839
See anything?
102
00:04:21,997 --> 00:04:25,569
I see a bicycle and a cooler.
103
00:04:25,687 --> 00:04:26,821
No trash can.
104
00:04:27,313 --> 00:04:28,895
Anything, Vince?
105
00:04:29,139 --> 00:04:32,376
No, I just see a rake
and gardening tools.
106
00:04:32,434 --> 00:04:33,769
Why don't we just get another one
107
00:04:33,794 --> 00:04:35,072
from the sanitation department?
108
00:04:35,097 --> 00:04:37,399
Vince, we-we have to solve this.
109
00:04:37,767 --> 00:04:38,902
? ?
110
00:04:39,096 --> 00:04:40,492
Excuse me.
111
00:04:40,564 --> 00:04:43,002
Uh, have you noticed
anything strange recently?
112
00:04:43,027 --> 00:04:44,569
Anything, uh, weird?
113
00:04:44,742 --> 00:04:45,842
No.
114
00:04:46,501 --> 00:04:48,437
[DOG BARKS]
115
00:04:48,525 --> 00:04:49,937
How about this house, Vince?
116
00:04:50,401 --> 00:04:53,005
Why is that fence so high and obscuring?
117
00:04:53,163 --> 00:04:55,422
It's like they... maybe they take things
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00:04:55,447 --> 00:04:56,531
and hide them.
119
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:58,430
Like our trash can.
120
00:04:58,968 --> 00:05:02,005
[BOTH GRUNTING AND GROWLING]
121
00:05:04,207 --> 00:05:07,144
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]
122
00:05:07,177 --> 00:05:08,883
? ?
123
00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:10,679
Well, I like this part of town.
124
00:05:10,712 --> 00:05:12,148
Yeah, good neighborhood.
125
00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:14,117
Here we go.
126
00:05:14,192 --> 00:05:17,154
So it's a studio. Uh, plenty of room.
127
00:05:17,255 --> 00:05:18,497
Little kitchenette area.
128
00:05:18,578 --> 00:05:20,294
Mm. Is there a bathroom?
129
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,663
Uh, yes, right...
130
00:05:21,891 --> 00:05:24,410
[DRAMATIC STRINGS SWELL]
131
00:05:24,627 --> 00:05:27,059
- How much is this place?
- Fifteen hundred a month.
132
00:05:27,596 --> 00:05:29,990
It just seems like a
lot for this small space.
133
00:05:30,015 --> 00:05:32,029
Totally understandable. Uh, let's see.
134
00:05:32,163 --> 00:05:33,164
Got another option.
135
00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:34,303
Which neighborhood?
136
00:05:34,462 --> 00:05:35,864
Any neighborhood you like.
137
00:05:36,171 --> 00:05:38,164
- Okay.
- Okay? I got you.
138
00:05:38,229 --> 00:05:39,263
What do you think?
139
00:05:39,421 --> 00:05:40,857
[UPLIFTING PIANO MUSIC]
140
00:05:41,211 --> 00:05:43,322
- Oh, the car.
- Uh-huh.
141
00:05:43,401 --> 00:05:44,768
So what would you consider this?
142
00:05:44,793 --> 00:05:47,196
Is it like... like,
bedroom-bathroom-wise?
143
00:05:47,282 --> 00:05:48,876
One bedroom. One living room.
144
00:05:48,986 --> 00:05:50,187
This would be the living room.
145
00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:51,887
And your-your bed...
146
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:53,622
? ?
147
00:05:53,656 --> 00:05:54,723
[MUSIC STOPS]
148
00:05:54,757 --> 00:05:57,194
[SEAT CRANKING]
149
00:05:57,226 --> 00:05:59,061
And then when you sleep, you just...
150
00:05:59,094 --> 00:06:02,065
[TOY BOX MELODY TWINKLING]
151
00:06:02,098 --> 00:06:04,653
? ?
152
00:06:04,678 --> 00:06:07,082
And you can nod off, and then, you know,
153
00:06:07,107 --> 00:06:09,014
and then when someone
asks you to move...
154
00:06:09,061 --> 00:06:10,076
[HORN HONKS]
155
00:06:10,271 --> 00:06:12,041
Just look at this. Look how modern.
156
00:06:12,074 --> 00:06:14,426
Mm. We're in the future.
157
00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:16,543
- Is there a kitchen?
- Yes.
158
00:06:16,646 --> 00:06:18,915
So, this, see this, um, cup holder?
159
00:06:18,947 --> 00:06:20,584
You can put your coffee in there
160
00:06:20,608 --> 00:06:22,949
and put your...
store, if you buy a sandwich,
161
00:06:22,974 --> 00:06:24,576
you can put it here, or a burrito.
162
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,147
People are buying burritos these days.
163
00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:28,114
No, uh, alcohol on the premises.
164
00:06:28,209 --> 00:06:30,161
- Very, very important.
- All right.
165
00:06:30,186 --> 00:06:31,693
Remember, your house can kill people.
166
00:06:31,939 --> 00:06:33,143
Well, let's show you the rest.
167
00:06:33,168 --> 00:06:34,830
Well, here's something
that's really nice.
168
00:06:34,901 --> 00:06:36,181
We have a little outdoor shower.
169
00:06:36,206 --> 00:06:37,681
Come on!
170
00:06:37,706 --> 00:06:38,721
I-I get it.
171
00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:39,746
[LAUGHS]
172
00:06:39,771 --> 00:06:41,673
But a small, like, stream of water...
173
00:06:41,872 --> 00:06:44,209
There's windshield
wiper fluid in it as well.
174
00:06:44,275 --> 00:06:46,443
- So the soap is mixed in?
- The soap is mixed in.
175
00:06:46,743 --> 00:06:48,110
All right, yeah, I mean...
176
00:06:48,144 --> 00:06:50,680
Yeah, I like it! It's up to you.
177
00:06:50,712 --> 00:06:52,383
Uh, we got plenty of closet space.
178
00:06:52,408 --> 00:06:54,778
You could hang up your clothes
there and right over here.
179
00:06:54,884 --> 00:06:57,748
And then we've got entertainment.
180
00:06:58,288 --> 00:07:00,187
Whoa. [LAUGHS]
181
00:07:00,241 --> 00:07:01,791
It's a little awkward looking.
182
00:07:01,824 --> 00:07:02,976
It's a romance.
183
00:07:03,015 --> 00:07:04,632
Feels like an invasion of privacy.
184
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:07,632
Look at that. Crystal clear.
Really nice. Huge screen.
185
00:07:07,657 --> 00:07:08,703
Oh, it's very clear.
186
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:10,030
Do you want me to change it?
187
00:07:10,162 --> 00:07:12,565
- Can you?
- Yeah.
188
00:07:12,668 --> 00:07:14,803
[UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC]
189
00:07:14,836 --> 00:07:16,740
Ugh. I love Wachowski movies.
190
00:07:16,772 --> 00:07:18,642
I think I'm gonna move
to a cheaper city.
191
00:07:21,405 --> 00:07:22,874
- Hi!
- Hi.
192
00:07:22,952 --> 00:07:24,487
How you doin'? Good to see you.
193
00:07:24,559 --> 00:07:25,928
Hi, baby. Do you remember me?
194
00:07:25,971 --> 00:07:27,205
I'm your... I'm your doctor.
195
00:07:27,262 --> 00:07:28,647
Can you say "pediatrician"?
196
00:07:29,014 --> 00:07:30,749
Pediatr... no, he's not gonna say it.
197
00:07:30,939 --> 00:07:32,011
He looks great.
198
00:07:32,071 --> 00:07:33,706
I-I looked at his chart, and his...
199
00:07:33,769 --> 00:07:35,823
weight is great, and he's feeding well.
200
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:37,958
- Yeah.
- It's all positive news.
201
00:07:38,023 --> 00:07:40,542
I'm gonna see you one more time
when you're 21, then that's it.
202
00:07:40,807 --> 00:07:42,530
We do have one little bit of worry.
203
00:07:42,555 --> 00:07:43,655
- Yeah.
- What's wrong?
204
00:07:44,165 --> 00:07:45,812
He's not doing any bits.
205
00:07:46,352 --> 00:07:47,878
- Like comedy bits?
- Mm-hmm.
206
00:07:47,940 --> 00:07:50,360
I saw one time a baby do
a "stick 'em up" thing,
207
00:07:50,445 --> 00:07:52,235
but he didn't do it, like...
stick 'em up.
208
00:07:53,233 --> 00:07:54,360
Stick 'em up.
209
00:07:54,439 --> 00:07:56,618
- Hey, does he do accents?
- We tried.
210
00:07:56,695 --> 00:07:59,397
[IN SCOTTISH ACCENT] Scotland.
Scottish baby.
211
00:07:59,548 --> 00:08:01,532
How is he with pr-props,
as you can tell?
212
00:08:01,627 --> 00:08:03,063
No prop work. Hello?
213
00:08:03,448 --> 00:08:05,339
- [CHUCKLES]
- Oh, it's for you.
214
00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:08,222
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
215
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:09,893
I mean...
216
00:08:10,133 --> 00:08:11,863
Okeydoke. Just no...
217
00:08:11,889 --> 00:08:13,557
Let's-let's see how
he responds to jokes.
218
00:08:13,582 --> 00:08:14,604
- Mm-hmm.
- All right?
219
00:08:14,690 --> 00:08:16,160
I just went on a pleasure trip.
220
00:08:16,224 --> 00:08:18,108
I took my mother-in-law to the airport!
221
00:08:18,710 --> 00:08:21,259
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
222
00:08:21,444 --> 00:08:23,267
Maybe it's too old a reference, or...
223
00:08:23,352 --> 00:08:25,650
How does he compare to
other kids his age?
224
00:08:25,799 --> 00:08:28,269
Everyone's different.
Everyone develops differently.
225
00:08:28,481 --> 00:08:29,683
Like, look at this baby.
226
00:08:29,975 --> 00:08:31,242
[LAUGHS]
227
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,166
You have to laugh at this.
228
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,077
Yeah, he's now, like, a wise...
wiseacre type.
229
00:08:36,205 --> 00:08:38,181
He's, like, saying,
"If you think this food's bad,
230
00:08:38,206 --> 00:08:39,673
check out what my brother's eatin'."
231
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,369
It could go the other way too.
232
00:08:41,482 --> 00:08:43,723
This baby, the parents are scared.
233
00:08:43,775 --> 00:08:45,527
This is what I call kitchen sink humor,
234
00:08:45,801 --> 00:08:47,489
'cause the baby does so much shtick...
235
00:08:47,579 --> 00:08:48,580
- He's a clown.
- A clown.
236
00:08:48,605 --> 00:08:49,940
And we don't want a clown.
237
00:08:50,175 --> 00:08:52,232
I would be lying if I
said I wasn't concerned.
238
00:08:52,310 --> 00:08:53,411
I am a little concerned.
239
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,061
What do you recommend, Doctor?
240
00:08:55,114 --> 00:08:57,377
You know what? Maybe
I'm old-school. Gum.
241
00:08:57,616 --> 00:08:59,776
I'd like to see a baby
like that chew some gum.
242
00:08:59,931 --> 00:09:02,968
As much gum as he can fit in,
and then go one more.
243
00:09:03,211 --> 00:09:05,109
Now he's got gum in his...
in his cheeks.
244
00:09:05,226 --> 00:09:06,553
Three months from now, he's doing
245
00:09:06,578 --> 00:09:07,616
a "Godfather" impression.
246
00:09:07,975 --> 00:09:10,616
[SLAP BASS WALKS] [LAUGHTER]
247
00:09:10,753 --> 00:09:13,123
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
248
00:09:14,290 --> 00:09:15,925
? ?
249
00:09:19,038 --> 00:09:22,542
[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]
250
00:09:23,733 --> 00:09:26,519
[UPBEAT LO-FI MUSIC]
251
00:09:26,544 --> 00:09:30,199
ALL: ? The dream of the
'90s is alive in Portland ?
252
00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:33,700
? The dream is Ali-i-ive ?
253
00:09:33,872 --> 00:09:36,732
? ?
254
00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:39,088
Hey, check it out.
255
00:09:39,183 --> 00:09:40,789
I've been wanting a
new drum for a while.
256
00:09:40,937 --> 00:09:42,272
That's rad, man.
257
00:09:42,414 --> 00:09:43,683
[HORN HONKS]
258
00:09:45,769 --> 00:09:48,973
[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]
259
00:09:49,030 --> 00:09:50,832
Do you guys have, like, 25¢? Do you...
260
00:09:51,143 --> 00:09:52,167
BOTH: Do you? Do you?
261
00:09:52,756 --> 00:09:54,612
? ?
262
00:09:55,034 --> 00:09:56,169
[BOTH MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]
263
00:09:56,398 --> 00:10:01,426
? ?
264
00:10:01,948 --> 00:10:04,223
[TIRES SCREECH, HORN HONKS]
265
00:10:04,422 --> 00:10:06,091
Hey, it says "don't walk"!
266
00:10:06,171 --> 00:10:07,181
Can't you read?
267
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,189
? ?
268
00:10:09,214 --> 00:10:10,249
Hey, there, guys.
269
00:10:10,539 --> 00:10:12,063
Hey, do you have a-a dollar?
270
00:10:12,092 --> 00:10:13,860
No. I don't have a dollar. I'm a cop.
271
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:15,657
- You're a cop?
- Yes.
272
00:10:15,697 --> 00:10:16,899
They redesigned our uniforms.
273
00:10:16,986 --> 00:10:18,032
[LAUGHS]
274
00:10:18,069 --> 00:10:19,537
Gotta get you guys to move on.
275
00:10:19,633 --> 00:10:21,114
Ah, you're just pushin' us around.
276
00:10:21,139 --> 00:10:23,008
- Hmm?
- I don't care. We'll move on.
277
00:10:23,181 --> 00:10:24,635
How am I gonna get this up the hill?
278
00:10:24,662 --> 00:10:26,822
No, man, just leave it.
Smells like trash.
279
00:10:26,951 --> 00:10:29,120
Aww. Bye, can.
280
00:10:31,941 --> 00:10:34,512
[WIND HOWLS]
281
00:10:43,552 --> 00:10:44,993
Okay, sweetheart, tuck in.
282
00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:46,056
Here we go.
283
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,408
That's a good girl. Get Mr. Bear.
284
00:10:47,609 --> 00:10:49,613
So, Madeline, we are gonna try
285
00:10:49,638 --> 00:10:51,907
something a little
different tonight, okay?
286
00:10:52,057 --> 00:10:55,294
We are gonna try sleeping
with the lights off.
287
00:10:55,632 --> 00:10:57,905
You're old enough to
be very, very brave.
288
00:10:57,956 --> 00:10:59,811
If you can't sleep, I
want you just to grab
289
00:10:59,851 --> 00:11:01,449
your colors, coloring books, okay?
290
00:11:01,474 --> 00:11:02,715
Do some coloring. All right?
291
00:11:02,822 --> 00:11:04,082
- Okay.
- Good girl.
292
00:11:04,322 --> 00:11:05,785
Good girl. Night-night.
293
00:11:09,999 --> 00:11:11,516
[UPLIFTING MUSIC FADES]
294
00:11:20,258 --> 00:11:23,496
[EERIE WHISPERING]
295
00:11:29,041 --> 00:11:31,077
[DISTANT BANGING]
296
00:11:36,545 --> 00:11:38,146
- [GROWLS]
- [GASPS]
297
00:11:38,188 --> 00:11:39,490
[BOTH GROWLING]
298
00:11:39,515 --> 00:11:42,220
- [SCREAMS]
- [EVIL LAUGHTER]
299
00:11:42,363 --> 00:11:43,688
Mom!
300
00:11:43,751 --> 00:11:45,696
[BOTH GRUNTING]
301
00:11:46,209 --> 00:11:47,516
Can't see anything.
302
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:49,511
It's hard to see with
all the bushes and trees.
303
00:11:49,746 --> 00:11:51,845
There. Do you see our trash can?
304
00:11:51,870 --> 00:11:52,992
Oh. They have a grill.
305
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,247
Should we get a grill?
306
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:55,304
Mom!
307
00:11:55,469 --> 00:11:57,484
Honey, honey! Whoa, hi.
308
00:11:57,593 --> 00:11:58,791
What's going on?
309
00:11:58,840 --> 00:11:59,901
I saw something.
310
00:11:59,926 --> 00:12:01,893
There's two of them.
I think they're monsters.
311
00:12:01,918 --> 00:12:03,587
I've never seen anything like it.
312
00:12:03,612 --> 00:12:05,354
- Okay, okay...
- It was, like, two of them!
313
00:12:05,387 --> 00:12:07,132
Madeline. Madeline. Lie down. Lie down.
314
00:12:07,211 --> 00:12:09,101
What did I say if you felt afraid?
315
00:12:09,126 --> 00:12:10,156
What should you do?
316
00:12:10,181 --> 00:12:11,599
- Color.
- Did you color?
317
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:12,774
- No.
- Okay.
318
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,034
Well, then, there you go.
319
00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:16,083
Color me a nice,
beautiful picture, okay?
320
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:17,963
- But I saw something!
- You're so brave.
321
00:12:18,011 --> 00:12:19,946
Mm. You are the bravest.
322
00:12:20,026 --> 00:12:22,074
[MAKES KISSING SOUND] Night-night,
sweetheart.
323
00:12:22,424 --> 00:12:23,459
[DOOR CLICKS SHUT]
324
00:12:25,928 --> 00:12:27,354
I like those windows up there.
325
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:29,409
You know, it reminds me
of that necklace I had.
326
00:12:29,757 --> 00:12:32,016
It was just like... like that.
[ BLADE SWISHES]
327
00:12:32,156 --> 00:12:34,158
- Oh, the tight one.
- Yeah, it was like that.
328
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,889
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
329
00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:38,622
? ?
330
00:12:38,872 --> 00:12:40,574
[GROWLING] You're next!
331
00:12:40,896 --> 00:12:43,430
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
332
00:12:43,584 --> 00:12:46,570
[GROWLING] Your mom can't save you now!
333
00:12:46,841 --> 00:12:49,019
- Burning in hell!
- 666!
334
00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:53,141
- You're next!
- [LAUGHING]
335
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,711
? ?
336
00:12:54,921 --> 00:12:56,189
You know, it's so dark.
337
00:12:56,229 --> 00:12:57,531
Maybe we shouldn't just...
338
00:12:57,618 --> 00:12:59,065
if we could just see into the yard.
339
00:12:59,090 --> 00:13:00,738
I'm just gonna use the
lights on my phone.
340
00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:02,098
Oh, that's a great idea.
341
00:13:02,130 --> 00:13:05,433
[MONSTER GROWLING]
342
00:13:06,168 --> 00:13:09,286
? ?
343
00:13:14,132 --> 00:13:15,637
[WHISPERING] Oh, my gosh.
344
00:13:15,743 --> 00:13:17,812
She slept in.
345
00:13:17,994 --> 00:13:19,692
Oh, my goodness.
346
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,692
Honey. Rise and shine, sweetheart.
347
00:13:22,899 --> 00:13:24,024
Honey?
348
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,240
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
349
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:28,795
What is...
350
00:13:29,013 --> 00:13:30,281
Oh, my gosh.
351
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:32,563
What are... "666"...
352
00:13:32,602 --> 00:13:34,171
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
353
00:13:34,196 --> 00:13:35,500
Honey...
354
00:13:35,860 --> 00:13:37,055
we'll get her a night light.
355
00:13:38,009 --> 00:13:39,681
Thank you so much for coming in
356
00:13:39,706 --> 00:13:42,517
to talk to us about your job,
we appreciate it.
357
00:13:42,993 --> 00:13:44,128
All right, you guys.
358
00:13:44,161 --> 00:13:46,253
Next up, we have two people
359
00:13:46,355 --> 00:13:49,601
who some would call "entrepreneurs,"
360
00:13:49,633 --> 00:13:52,469
so give it up for Fred and Carrie!
361
00:13:52,502 --> 00:13:53,604
Hi, guys.
362
00:13:53,637 --> 00:13:54,688
- Hi!
- Welcome!
363
00:13:54,713 --> 00:13:56,189
- Thanks.
- So happy to have you.
364
00:13:56,214 --> 00:13:57,227
Hi. Hey, everyone.
365
00:13:57,252 --> 00:13:58,974
We work in something
called the gig economy.
366
00:13:58,999 --> 00:14:00,896
You guys know about being self-employed?
367
00:14:00,921 --> 00:14:03,622
Yeah, so some people
call this the gig economy
368
00:14:03,647 --> 00:14:05,016
or the sharing economy.
369
00:14:05,049 --> 00:14:06,419
We're kind of like digital nomads.
370
00:14:06,458 --> 00:14:07,824
Okay, you want to write that down?
371
00:14:07,849 --> 00:14:08,954
"Digital nomads"?
372
00:14:08,987 --> 00:14:10,622
There is an app called Lifer.
373
00:14:10,655 --> 00:14:12,660
A job comes in on the app,
374
00:14:12,777 --> 00:14:15,769
and I do things like
drive people to work
375
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,191
or pick people up from a
bar and take them home.
376
00:14:18,295 --> 00:14:19,631
Or deliver food.
377
00:14:19,664 --> 00:14:22,067
Whatever the app tells us to do, we do.
378
00:14:22,099 --> 00:14:23,948
Yeah, I'm my own boss, but also,
379
00:14:24,145 --> 00:14:25,675
this is kind of my boss too.
380
00:14:26,337 --> 00:14:27,706
Hi, you have a question?
381
00:14:27,738 --> 00:14:29,799
- Does Lifer pay for your gas?
- Nope.
382
00:14:29,865 --> 00:14:31,948
Lifer does not pay for my gas.
383
00:14:31,973 --> 00:14:33,698
I pay for my own gas
because I'm a grown-up.
384
00:14:33,723 --> 00:14:34,728
I'm an adult.
385
00:14:34,753 --> 00:14:35,791
- Any questions?
- Yes?
386
00:14:35,816 --> 00:14:37,322
How many hours a day do you work?
387
00:14:37,347 --> 00:14:38,353
I love this question.
388
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,539
"How many hours a day." Twenty?
389
00:14:41,283 --> 00:14:42,289
Twenty-two?
390
00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:44,310
Yeah, it's awesome because
we make our own hours.
391
00:14:44,826 --> 00:14:46,107
You're raising your hand a lot.
392
00:14:46,132 --> 00:14:48,286
What will happen when
there's self-driving cars?
393
00:14:48,424 --> 00:14:49,943
We'll still have a job because
394
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:52,305
the self-driving car
will pull up to a house,
395
00:14:52,414 --> 00:14:54,926
but someone still needs
to get out of the car
396
00:14:54,985 --> 00:14:56,620
and bring the pad Thai to the door.
397
00:14:56,715 --> 00:14:57,916
[CELL PHONE CHIMES] Sorry.
398
00:14:58,167 --> 00:14:59,360
I'm getting the same one, me.
399
00:14:59,385 --> 00:15:01,276
Oh, look at this address.
That's here, isn't it?
400
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,431
Who's ordering pizza?
401
00:15:02,764 --> 00:15:04,465
Oh, you-you ordered pizza?
402
00:15:05,361 --> 00:15:07,059
Oh, well, we're gonna have to go get it.
403
00:15:07,105 --> 00:15:10,064
I am gonna run out and
get you guys some pizzas.
404
00:15:10,089 --> 00:15:11,419
- Thank you.
- I'll be right back.
405
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:12,849
- Thank you for coming.
- All right.
406
00:15:12,874 --> 00:15:13,990
For sharing. Thank you.
407
00:15:14,015 --> 00:15:16,147
All right, next up, we have a gentleman
408
00:15:16,254 --> 00:15:20,310
who writes recaps
for TV shows... online!
409
00:15:20,394 --> 00:15:23,298
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]
410
00:15:23,433 --> 00:15:24,862
? ?
411
00:15:25,068 --> 00:15:27,038
Oh, look, Tuck and Patti
just wrote an email.
412
00:15:27,133 --> 00:15:29,367
"Need a loan. Automatic payment, sex.
413
00:15:29,526 --> 00:15:30,656
Click link for need."
414
00:15:30,704 --> 00:15:32,140
Nuh-uh. Don't click on it, Peter.
415
00:15:32,212 --> 00:15:34,292
- Why not?
- They clearly got hacked.
416
00:15:34,349 --> 00:15:37,917
Our friends are asking us
to click a link for need!
417
00:15:37,955 --> 00:15:39,675
That's the worst thing
we could do, Peter.
418
00:15:39,807 --> 00:15:41,572
Nance, someone...
someone worked really hard.
419
00:15:41,597 --> 00:15:42,933
You've gotta create a link.
420
00:15:42,958 --> 00:15:44,726
You've gotta put it in
the body of an email.
421
00:15:44,770 --> 00:15:47,382
It... that's a lot of hard work,
and we're just ignoring it.
422
00:15:47,768 --> 00:15:49,148
- Peter.
- All right.
423
00:15:49,510 --> 00:15:52,679
Nance? How come we never get hacked?
424
00:15:53,042 --> 00:15:54,397
I don't know, hon.
425
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,428
Maybe they just think we're boring.
426
00:15:57,133 --> 00:15:59,503
If we get hacked, w-w-what do you...
427
00:15:59,528 --> 00:16:00,809
what do you think they'll find?
428
00:16:00,905 --> 00:16:02,440
Well, you've taken all those photos
429
00:16:02,465 --> 00:16:03,784
of the scones you love eating.
430
00:16:03,809 --> 00:16:06,779
Yeah, but d-don't they...
d-d-d-don't they...
431
00:16:06,813 --> 00:16:08,644
don't they want something more exciting?
432
00:16:08,742 --> 00:16:10,144
Like what, Peter?
433
00:16:13,528 --> 00:16:15,256
[WHISPERING] Nude.
434
00:16:15,321 --> 00:16:17,123
You know, like, nude...
nude, you know...
435
00:16:17,182 --> 00:16:18,221
The what?
436
00:16:18,283 --> 00:16:19,628
N-naked nudie pics.
437
00:16:19,743 --> 00:16:21,412
A nakie noodle-oo? Peter!
438
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:22,449
- Yeah!
- No.
439
00:16:22,474 --> 00:16:23,871
I don't think it's about nudes.
440
00:16:23,896 --> 00:16:27,746
If-if they uncover a picture
of my-my-my pud or my thigh,
441
00:16:28,115 --> 00:16:31,377
Th-this way,
at least it's something that's exciting.
442
00:16:31,402 --> 00:16:32,695
That's what they're looking for.
443
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:34,394
I don't want to waste...
waste their time.
444
00:16:35,596 --> 00:16:37,528
We want these to be...
to be the kind of pictures
445
00:16:37,553 --> 00:16:39,155
that people who love pornography,
446
00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:40,913
even they'll say, "This
is too much for me."
447
00:16:40,938 --> 00:16:42,233
Heavy nudity.
448
00:16:42,258 --> 00:16:43,834
Yeah, we want the kind of photos
449
00:16:43,859 --> 00:16:46,939
where someone looks at them
and-and they say out loud,
450
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:47,978
"Jackpot."
451
00:16:48,097 --> 00:16:49,399
Mm-hmm.
452
00:16:49,713 --> 00:16:52,750
? ?
453
00:16:54,213 --> 00:16:55,813
Sh-should I s-smile? Nance?
454
00:16:55,837 --> 00:16:58,473
[SWANKY FUNK MUSIC]
455
00:16:58,921 --> 00:16:59,990
? ?
456
00:17:00,023 --> 00:17:01,124
[MUSIC STOPS]
457
00:17:02,837 --> 00:17:05,440
? ?
458
00:17:05,536 --> 00:17:06,662
They're gonna find these.
459
00:17:06,699 --> 00:17:08,185
Maybe we'll act like we don't want...
460
00:17:08,534 --> 00:17:09,865
You're gonna need a bigger lens.
461
00:17:10,367 --> 00:17:15,807
? ?
462
00:17:18,517 --> 00:17:19,644
What's wrong, Peter?
463
00:17:20,047 --> 00:17:21,182
Well, it's... I'm just...
464
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:22,597
it's frustrating because we...
465
00:17:22,735 --> 00:17:24,259
we still h-haven't been hacked.
466
00:17:24,337 --> 00:17:26,141
Well, Peter, the hackers are busy.
467
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,860
You know, they have a
whole world to hack.
468
00:17:28,152 --> 00:17:29,344
Yeah, I guess you're right.
469
00:17:29,369 --> 00:17:30,637
I'm just being selfish.
470
00:17:30,662 --> 00:17:32,824
I just... maybe there's some way
471
00:17:32,849 --> 00:17:35,300
we could help them or something.
472
00:17:36,245 --> 00:17:37,620
You know, maybe there is something
473
00:17:37,645 --> 00:17:38,652
we could do.
474
00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:39,847
[LAPTOP CHIMES]
475
00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:41,313
Oh, damn!
476
00:17:42,136 --> 00:17:45,438
It looks like... Peter
and Nance got hacked!
477
00:17:49,126 --> 00:17:50,461
[MOANS]
478
00:17:51,675 --> 00:17:53,778
[WHIMSICAL MUSIC]
479
00:17:54,599 --> 00:17:55,734
- Hey!
- Trash!
480
00:17:55,806 --> 00:17:57,047
Trash can. Starboard.
481
00:17:57,086 --> 00:17:58,264
Okay, bring it in.
482
00:18:00,937 --> 00:18:02,938
A-O, river!
483
00:18:05,532 --> 00:18:08,859
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
484
00:18:09,117 --> 00:18:11,592
Nance? I can't find my wife.
485
00:18:12,501 --> 00:18:13,874
Nance?
486
00:18:13,899 --> 00:18:16,264
I'm right here by this
black garbage can.
487
00:18:17,053 --> 00:18:19,342
Said there was valet parking,
but I couldn't find anybody.
488
00:18:19,367 --> 00:18:20,381
Cacao!
489
00:18:20,406 --> 00:18:22,041
[MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]
490
00:18:22,238 --> 00:18:24,075
- I'm Bryce!
- I know.
491
00:18:24,115 --> 00:18:26,013
- You're Lisa!
- Are you okay?
492
00:18:27,467 --> 00:18:31,581
? ?
493
00:18:32,106 --> 00:18:34,241
Hold up! I'm stopping. [TIRES SCREECH]
494
00:18:34,331 --> 00:18:36,377
[WHISTLE TRILLS] That means I'm stopped!
495
00:18:37,460 --> 00:18:38,870
Bicycle rights!
496
00:18:39,938 --> 00:18:43,307
BOTH: No Olympics in Portland!
No Olympics in Portland!
497
00:18:44,076 --> 00:18:45,258
- Huh.
- Huh. All right.
498
00:18:45,283 --> 00:18:46,417
Lean with me.
499
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:47,937
We're getting pretty good at this.
500
00:18:47,992 --> 00:18:49,455
One, two, three, four, five... uh...
501
00:18:49,898 --> 00:18:50,916
What do we do with this?
502
00:18:50,941 --> 00:18:52,182
Does this stay with the house?
503
00:18:52,245 --> 00:18:53,727
Uh, no, let's put it on the bike.
504
00:18:53,752 --> 00:18:55,798
- Does it even belong to her?
- Yeah. Let's take it.
505
00:18:56,332 --> 00:18:57,355
All right.
506
00:18:58,201 --> 00:18:59,320
[MELLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
507
00:18:59,345 --> 00:19:00,958
Where does this trash can go? That one?
508
00:19:00,983 --> 00:19:03,074
- I think it's this one.
- Thought it was this house.
509
00:19:03,099 --> 00:19:04,703
- Are you sure?
- Wait, now I'm confused.
510
00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:05,968
Well, it's got a skull on it.
511
00:19:05,993 --> 00:19:07,695
Probably goes to the scary house.
512
00:19:08,918 --> 00:19:10,835
[EERIE TWINKLING MELODY]
513
00:19:11,141 --> 00:19:12,819
[BIRD SCREECHES]
514
00:19:13,834 --> 00:19:19,858
? ?
515
00:19:20,686 --> 00:19:21,967
What is it?
516
00:19:22,473 --> 00:19:24,895
Jacqueline, when did our
garbage can go missing?
517
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,262
Do you remember that?
518
00:19:26,287 --> 00:19:27,948
It was... it was before Lugosi was born.
519
00:19:27,973 --> 00:19:30,310
It must have been eight years ago.
520
00:19:30,418 --> 00:19:31,536
I think this is it!
521
00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:32,919
- No.
- It's gotta be.
522
00:19:32,944 --> 00:19:34,802
Because there's the skull, and remember,
523
00:19:34,827 --> 00:19:36,642
we painted it on the side?
That's exactly it.
524
00:19:36,667 --> 00:19:38,517
That's so strange. How
would it get back here?
525
00:19:38,542 --> 00:19:39,751
It's been so long.
526
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,382
It's alive as we are dead.
527
00:19:41,662 --> 00:19:43,617
- [BELL RESOUNDS]
- Farewell, bin.
528
00:19:44,094 --> 00:19:46,047
May your spirit as the undead
529
00:19:46,492 --> 00:19:49,095
roll around the world for eternity.
530
00:19:49,601 --> 00:19:52,360
You roamed around the city,
and the people came,
531
00:19:52,860 --> 00:19:55,264
and they threw more trash into you,
532
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:57,230
and your burden grew heavier.
533
00:19:57,303 --> 00:19:58,991
I have to do a quick
thing for the family.
534
00:19:59,016 --> 00:20:00,056
Sorry.
535
00:20:00,101 --> 00:20:03,138
[GROWLING INDISTINCTLY]
536
00:20:04,418 --> 00:20:05,553
...garbage canister...
537
00:20:05,766 --> 00:20:07,335
[GROWLS INDISTINCTLY]
538
00:20:08,804 --> 00:20:10,945
I guess there really is no good way
539
00:20:11,492 --> 00:20:14,355
to say good-bye after all these years.
540
00:20:14,536 --> 00:20:16,338
[STIRRING STRING MUSIC]
541
00:20:16,527 --> 00:20:18,543
So we wish you the best.
542
00:20:20,876 --> 00:20:22,578
- [SCREECHES]
- [GROWLS]
543
00:20:24,008 --> 00:20:25,597
[DANZIG'S "LONG WAY BACK FROM HELL"]
544
00:20:25,622 --> 00:20:26,924
? ?
545
00:20:26,949 --> 00:20:29,818
? So it's a long way back ?
546
00:20:29,843 --> 00:20:31,407
? From hell ?
547
00:20:32,345 --> 00:20:36,979
? And you don't wanna go with... ?
548
00:20:37,763 --> 00:20:40,333
? Me! ?
549
00:20:40,709 --> 00:20:42,904
? ?
550
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:48,049
Synced and corrected by Pisuly
www.addic7ed.com
551
00:20:48,099 --> 00:20:52,649
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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