All language subtitles for sdfghjkldfgfghhjdffgghhfdfgg

Wow,

had a great year.

Oh, thank you, yeah I did.

- Yeah.
- Remarkable.

She does very well.

I'll say $150,000 well, that's a

quite a jump from last year.

I thought, I thought it was 125.

No, no, I got the bonus.

You got the bonus?

- I got the bonus.
- She got the bonus.

I got it so.

- Yeah.
- Babe, I didn't know that.

Okay.

Good for you, that's great.

And Cam,

Yes.

Is this everything?

Yeah.

That should be everything.

I, a, yeah.

$15,000?

Mmmhh.

Well, you are something else Miss.

Ah, thank you.

Okay.

It was a very good year.

Yeah, I'm lucky, you know,
I gotta, I gotta good job.

You are more than lucky.

You are talented and pretty smart.

Oh, thank you.

You should be very thankful.

I am, I'm very thankful,
and I'm also very smart

and I'm also very talented myself, so.

Yes you are, okay.

I was wondering if I could
claim like his headshots

and a there's the website, uh

- Actors access and all that.
- actorsaccess I'm an actor,

- I'm an actor, so.
- Yeah.

Um, can
I claim that stuff?

Because if I'm paying for it.

Can I claim him as my dependent?

You know?

Are you serious?

Yeah.

Yes, that's a remarkably
astute way way of handling this.

That would be great.

Eh, I'm sorry, uh, your dependent?

Yeah.

But, I,

I mean if I'm paying
for everything, right?

Yes, we file, claim him as a dependent.

Great.

File the tax return.

Okay.

Check comes to you,
you maximize your return.

Oh, that'd be great, we'd
get so much more money back.

So, would we get more
money back if I, I mean,

Well, yes that's what
I'm saying, absolutely.

Okay, okay, okay.

- Okay
- That's great.

That's fine, I'm not her
dependent just, you know,

man to man, like

- What's,
- No, no, I mean,

You're thinking like you're
a child or something, no.

Yes I pay for things, but,
you know, he does all the

cooking and the cleaning, and,

It's adorable.

You know, laundry, he's
like my little house wife, so.

See, that's the way to think about it.

Yeah.

Like the house wife.

I'm not her house wife,
first we don't have a house

we live in an apartment, so
that makes no sense at all babe.

We help each other out,
and just so you know, just,

I am an actor, so.

Cam, look, I understand,

Where I'm coming from.

I understand that it's
very hard for you, your ego.

But in this relationship right
now at this point in time

Alice is the breadwinner.

I hate the word winner, and I mean, bread,

what is that food, I mean.

Well, of course bread is food.

I just hate the word breadwinner.

I think it's a stupid word.

Well, I'm sorry you hate the
word but she's earning more

money than you and this is a wonderful way

for her to maximize her return.

I'm fine with that.

You have it made my friend.

Well, I mean, if he wasn't so talented

maybe I would

- but he's so talented.
- I'm very talented.

so talented.

I also, I give her very good sex.

So we're doing just fine.

That's kind of embarrassing .

Just saying.

Okay, I'm sure you're wonderful.

Just letting him know,
how things are going.

Hey, Cam, you really don't
have to say that, really.

That is incredible,
I'm making a mess.

These are, these are gorgeous.

It is hot today.

Yeah, it's really hot.

We're getting married,
like it's happening,

it's-not today, I'm-not like, this isn't.

No, I don't want you to.

Are you proposing to me?

Right now?

Yeah.

Thank you.

I'll trade you, you give me
the water, I'll take this.

- If you are?
- I was not.

- Okay, good.
- Is that Okay?

- Yeah.
- Okay, good, I--

No, no, I don't want
you to propose right now.

Oh no, I'm not, I
thought you were like wait,

you thought I was proposing I was like

I'm not proposing right now.

No, no, no, no, no.

You don't like it?

I, like it, I like the fish more.

There's something, it's a little like uh,

it's a little soggy almost.

I mean if you were though
it would have been fine too.

It's okay if you didn't do

- the whole,
- I'm not proposing now.

But I'm happy to if you want me to.

I don't have a ring.

Oh, this is those books.

Yes 50 shades of Grey.

They weren't great, but I think

they had something to them.

So-so you sped read them?

They definitely had something to them.

I did.

You had your finger, and you were like,

Burning through it.

Yeah.

Just as fast as you could.

You're like I cannot
wait to get to the end.

Well, yes, the sex stuff
is you know great and fun.

But it also is a fantastic
love story, am I right?

Check sir?

Thank you so much.

No.

We can get this, really.

Luke, please, I got this.

Let us treat you.

Wow, big man.

Throw it on the plastic,

Of course.

Thanks buddy, appreciate it, thank you.

So, I heard that you had a clown job.

What's that?

I heard that you had a clown job,

that you're a professional clown.

Well, I, I, I do a little clowning around,

but I don't do it all the time, umm.

He's a clown at home.

Clowns just, always freaked me out.

Su-Some clowns, some clowns can do

I know why are people are
like very scared of clowns.

It's weird.

It's a common phobia it
seems, I don't know if it's

It's like the happy face
but like what's below it.

In my business, in my line of work--

I'm sorry sir your card has been declined.

I'm sorry?

Oh, that's no, we, we can take care of it.

Yeah, we'll just get it don't
worry about it guys, it's.

Thank you, you really,
you don't have to do that.

That's really sweet of you.

I can put it on my card.

No you guys can get
us next time, no really.

We ab-so-lutely,

I insist.

We are getting you next time.

You don't even have to insist
because it's happening, so.

Wow, this is, is that a Mercedes?

It is.

Hooh, wow, how did you get
this, how did you do this?

Well it was a joint decision
between me and my wife and I.

We decided we wanted one.

I get that, me and
Alice talk about his stuff

all the time we are a very
joint decision making.

It's a little different
when you're married though.

We're just letting you know
we're gonna get married so,

it's like pretty much like the same thing.

So have you set a date are you engaged?

No we're not engaged, no, not yet.

But like, does it matter?

Okay.

I'm telling you that I
understand what it's like to

make a joint decision
because I have a girlfriend

a very serious girlfriend I get it.

- That makes sense.
- Alright.

- What are they doing?
- I don't know.

- My favorite part.
- Oh, my God!

I love the way the mirror deploys.

Oh, babe, Delorian, dude,
dude, alright, alright.

Give me the keys, let
me, let me, one spin.

No, no, no, no, really.

Absolutely not, Cam you are
not driving that car you're

drunk as shit get out of there.

I had two glasses of wine.

You're drunk as shit get out of the car.

No really probably best that we don't

Cam, it's late, lets go babe.

I'm not drunk as shit,
I just hit my head, um.

It's easy to do.

Been a pleasure.

- Thank you.
- This car is beautiful.

Thank you very much, have a good night.

Congratulations on the top 100

whatever the hell that was.

Get your lady home safe.

I'm gonna drive her home safe right now.

- Goodnight!
- Goodnight Alice.

Thanks for dinner.

Our pleasure.

You hear that, I'm not even
a car guy, that's incredible!

Are you kidding me?

Cam, get in the car.

Babe, I like the Honda
but we need a car like that.

Okay, this is gonna be super
cool you're going to love it.

You're gonna have a blast, this guy rocks!

Here is Cam the Clown!

Oah, yeah!

Heeeyyyy!

Put your hands in the air like you

just don't care and dance, dance, hey!

Well, must be hard for you,
you're like such a strong

woman and you need a
strong man there you know.

Sometimes I wonder if Cam's
ever gonna rise to the occasion?

Eventually things will even out.

You know, I don't think it's
gonna be like that forever.

It's been like that for four years, right?

Can you hold this real
quick, don't squeeze it though.

Wah, hold on, what is that?

Oh, God, no, little girl,
little girl, little girl,

little girl, little girl,
little girl, ahhh, ahhh,

No!

I thought you know the 90s are coming back

and grunge is coming back and
I thought that if we just--

Wait, wawawa, I'm
sorry, the 90s and grunge

is coming back?

Yeah, I mean.

When Kurt Cobain died that went with it.

Put your hands together, clap!

Get him!

Okay thank you very
much, oh, now, ho-ho-ho,

Kids, kids!

You gotta get your mind on the game.

There are a million girls
who would kill to do what

you're doing, come on, step it up!

Gawd, what the fuck is her problem?

- Hey babe.
- Hey!

Mmhmm, so she what, wasn't
feeling your designs,

what'd she say?

She was just like I'm sorry,
this is not the direction

we are moving in, we're not
gonna add anymore knit wear,

I'm like so much of our
collection is already knit wear

I don't see what the problem is, so.

That's not cool.

No, and,

And I don't like your
boss, you're not respected

and you're not being taken
seriously and I think you're

a great designer, I think
you have some great ideas

and I think you need to spread your

wings and you need to fly high.

Can you get more of my toes.

Of course, of course,
which toe do you want?

All of them.

- All five of them?
- Yeah.

Okay, that's gonna be a two hand job.

What are we having for dessert?

I, ee, I actually forgot
to get dessert I'm sorry.

No, it's a good thing
you forgot, cause I had my,

I had a few ideas for dessert myself.

You have ideas for dessert?

- Mmhmm.
- Really?

I was thinking we could get creative.

Creative?

Mmhmm.

Babe, you wanna get on top baby strong

So what do you think
you're going to do for work

now that you're done clowning?

What do you mean, I'm gonna
keep focusing on the acting.

I'm an actor you know that.

I mean, I know but in
between the acting gigs,

maybe the clowning is a good part-time

job for you right now.

First of all, it's not
creatively fulfilling, you know.

It's depressing honestly, it depresses me.

I literally come home and
I'm depressed and I'm getting

scraped up because the
kids keep tackling me.

Okay, well, I mean you need
to do something for work.

Are you worried, listen,
we'll figure it out.

You gotta rise to the occasion Cam.

What does that mean?

I'm just saying you need
to rise to the occasion.

You need to be assertive
you need to take action with

your life, doesn't Josh
still owe you like $500?

Yes he does but he's a
very good friend and I'm not

going to bug my very good
friend for 500 bucks.

If he was a good friend he
would've paid you already.

He's, babe, he just went
through a divorce, okay?

Give the guy a break, he's
a good guy, he's just like

dealing with the divorce stuff still.

Carol divorced him a year
ago and you could really

use that $500 right now.

First of all a year is not
that long and second of all

he says he's gonna pay me so.

When was the last time he said that?

I don't know, six months
ago, five months ago.

Five months ago, probably
closer to five months.

What's up man?

Hey, what's up?

- How you doing?
- What's going on?

Hey man, I'm, I am sorry just to pop
in like this I, I, I apologize, umm.

I, I need a huge favor man, you know the

500 bucks you owe me?

What?

Remember the five hundred doll,

The 500 dollars you were
gonna pay me help you

move Carol's shit last year when you guys,

dude, the 500, when I helped
Carol move her shit out

during the divorce, you said

you were going to pay me 500 bucks.

Mehhh, wow, I really
thought you forgot about that.

I did not forget about that dude.

- Alright, fine.
- Thank you.

I'm sorry to barge in like
this man, I just, I'm uh,

you know I'm trying to
be assertive you know?

I'm trying to take action
with my life, you know?

Thank you, thank you so much, this is,

This is $16 dude.

I don't have $500 dollars.

I got a quarter if you
want, you can have that too.

There's a penny, it's worthless today.

Jesus Christ, Josh.

Dude what do you want me to do?

Write me a check!

Well, I need a little bit of,
I'm not gonna write you a check.

You owe me 500 bucks.

Nobody has 500 dollars
now, who in this country

has 500 dollars right now?

I understand.

No one, none of your friends.

I understand the economy
is tough, I get it.

It's really tough man!

I need the money.

Uhh, okay, I got um, this is a,

this is like 12 dollars worth of stamps.

What am I going to do with stamps man?

That's legal tender.

What the hell is legal tender?

What are you, what is legal tender?

You don't know what, okay,

you don't know what legal tender is.

I don't know what legal tender is.

What you do is you pay
money for stamps and it's

worth a set amount of money it's like cash

you can take it to a Best Buy.

You are saying these are like cash?

These are, anything that you spend

money on is legal tender.

I can literally,

Yes, yeah, anything that
you spend money on is worth a,

here you go, this is legal tender,

that's legal tender right
there, that's worth money.

What is this, DVD's?

This is legal tender, they
don't know the bin I got

this from that's legal
tender, this is Criterion

so that's like more legal
tender like 35 bucks.

This is, um,

It's a VHS tape, I don't even have a VCR.

And then this is legal tender too.

Dude this is, alright,

So it's probably like, I'm gonna say, 70?

Let's say 70 bucks, we'll call
it 70 square and then we'll

do this a couple more
times over the course of

five months and we'll be set.

Dude, dude I cannot be living
off legal tender forever.

This is ridiculous, can you, listen man,

I, I, I need a job dude, I
need like I need you to help me

out I need a big favor from
you, you're in the film

business you work for
producers, fuck the money,

get me a job, seriously.

Alright, like any, like an acting, like?

Yes, I can act.

You're an out of work
actor, like your birthday,

It doesn't,

Honestly I thought you were doin'
the birthday clown thing.

That was--

I thought that made you
happy, I thought that was the

thing that you were doing, okay,
um, so, you just need work.

- Hey babe.
- Hey babe.

How you doing?

Good.

That's cool, what are you working on?

Ummm, uhh, I don't know
I'm supposed to figure out

all the different ways
you can wear this because

people are confused.

Ummhmm, uh, so I just
got back from Josh's,

went to Josh's today.

Did he pay you?

He did, a little bit, yeah.

Not all of it, but some of it.

How much did he pay you?

Ahhh 16 dollars and it's in legal tender,

Cam.

Do you know what legal tender is,
it's like stamps, doesn't matter.

When's he gonna pay you the rest?

He's gonna pay me soon, I
got better news, better news.

- Okay.
- He got me a job.

I got a job for a very
big producer in Hollywood.

It's not an acting job but,

- Okay.
- Her name's Renee La'Shant,
do you know who she is?

No.

You're not in the business,
everyone in the business

knows, she's a huge producer
she does all the pirate movies,

you know the pirate?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I know those.

She produces those, and so
I'm a, it's a temporary job.

Babe that's awesome!

I know I'm working for her.

Okay, so what are you going to be doing?

Ahh, I'm going to be helping
her out with some stuff,

she's got a little side
project just couple days,

couple days of work, but
a, little side project.

What is it are you like
a personal assistant, or?

No, no, no, not really
personal assistant, it's a,

I am working at her house
though in Beverly Hills.

I'm working at her house
with her, sort of with her,

in Beverly Hills.

Look how fancy you are.

I know, I know, it's great.

What are you doing?

I'm going to watch her
kids, uhh and help, you know

help with her kids, she has some kids.

I'm gonna watch them while she's gone.

Like baby-sit them?

Uhh, yeah I guess, I
mean technically sure,

technically yeah but like, ahhh.

Like what would you
call it not technically?

I think I'm working
for a really big producer

who's gonna meet me tomorrow,
she's gonna like me, I mean,

Is that like, I, I,
I mean I trust you.

Yeah.

I mean I would trust you.

I would hope so.

I don't know is that
kinda weird to leave your

kids with a grown man?

Wow!

Like instead of a 16-year-old girl?

Babe, they're a lot of
baby-sitters in this country

baby-sitting is a very
honorable profession you know?

- It's like nursing.
- I know.

First of all, it's not about the kids.

You know, it's not about kids.

I'm not doing this for the
kids, I mean the kids are fine,

I like the kids they are great
kids, I think I haven't met

them but what it's about
is getting in front of

Renee L'Shant and she could literally like

see my face and be like, you.

You're the guy?

You're the guy, she could say that, I,

And they, like, they do that?

Happens all the time.

Well, you got a job,

I got a job.

With a big producer.

- Yeah.
- Congratulations.

Thank you, thank you.

- Yeah, he's gonna watch them tonight.
- Whoa!

- I know.
- Hi, Renee, oh.

- Cam, just one second.
- Opp, sorry, hi.

- Hey.
- Hey, how are you?

I'm good.

Hi.

- Hello, I'm Stephanie.
- Stephanie, I'm Cam.

- This is Sophia.
- Sophia, so nice to meet you.

Look at this house.

- Don't use that cut, I'll be right, yeah.
- Ohhh, amazing.

I won't, and I can't talk right now I got

the babysitter just got
here, okay I gotta go.

No, no, no, please don't, yeah.

Sorry, I didn't mean to walk on the.

Yeah, it's okay, uh.

- Hi.
- Cam, Renee.

- Renee.
- Great to meet you.

- Such a fan.
- Oh, thanks, thanks.

Amazing!

My girls, yes.

This house.

You met the girls?

I did, I met
Sophia and Stephanie.

Stephanie, that's right, yeah,
so Josh sent you, that's wonderful.

Yeah, yeah, Josh.

He said you're a babysitter,
you're the best in town.

I'm also an actor and
I'm also the best in town.

I'm kidding, I'm good
though, I'm a good actor.

I'm a babysitter!

A babysitter.

- It's just so nice to meet you.
- Yeah.

Really the best part about
today for me is, meeting you.

What are you producing right
now, is there anything you're

working on that I should know about?

Uh, no, nothing
really right now that I can

you know, talk about, so.

Oh, this is cool.

Thanks.

This is nice, is this a Picasso?

Nope, Stephanie did that.

- Who?
- Me.

- Oh, you did this?
- My daughter, right.

You did this, wow.

Like two years ago.

That is, the use of
the brush, the way you're

kind of just, looks like a turkey feather.

They rehearse for 30 minutes they
have to rehearse every night, see?

Oh, that's good.

She's incredibly talented, right?

That's good, actually
I can do something,

that's not bad but.

I think I'm going to do a
show around them tap dancing.

- Ta-da!
- Hold on one sec.

Good job sweetie.

I'm trying to show your mom something,

you wanna watch me real quick.

No, I like when they
do it, oh, you're a yeah.

That's great.

Girls show him.

I did theater in college.

Theater in college?

I'm a triple threat,
uh, singer, dancer, actor,

babysitter.

- Babysitter, babysitter.
- Quadruple threat.

Listen I gotta take
this call, hey, hey girl.

Listen I'm going the
babysitter just got here.

Do you want, okay, great.

Yeah, he's a grown man, I know, I know.

I was surprised too, okay.
Listen, I'm gonna go.

Okay.

But, girls be good for Cam, okay?

Okay.

Kisses for momma, kisses, kisses.

There is zero reputation
about you in this small

catholic school, I think
I can handle your cock.

Right.

It was so big, I, I had
to rock climb off of it.

Like, oh my God!

Leverage up, it was horrible.

Really, wait you didn't like fully get on?

No I was like I can't, this
is a weapon, I just can't.

- A weapon of mass destruction?
- Yeah.

So, do you have any stories?

Let's hear about yours.

Well, um, Luke has magic
fingers, I'll just leave

it at that, he's a doctor,
he has very agile hands

give me a message and that's
probably the extent of

That's it?

of our foreplay, and yes.

Really?

It's a good message!

Alright, she doesn't kiss and tell.

That's alright you know, well
I don't really kiss and tell

either so I will just leave it I will say

Cam's best asset is his tongue.

I mean you know how much he likes to talk.

And how much he likes to eat.

I mean he doesn't eat that much.

You wanna see how fast I
can eat these sandwiches?

Watch, go!

Hey, hey.

No don't eat my sandwich.

Oh gawd I'm so sorry.

I thought you'd find that funny
you didn't find that funny?

Alright, not funny.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, you doing three, oh,
Sophia it's three is that right?

Three?

Yeah.

Three little parts

and then you just twist it.

Okay, so it's like, okay, I see.

Is that wrong?

I'm not sure what I'm
doing, maybe you should,

I'm not gonna do it.

How about this, how about
we do something else?

Can we just watch the TV for a second?

- No!
- I'm trying to finish,

No!

I'm trying to finish this show,

excuse me, can you tell her,
I'm trying to watch this show.

Hey, hey, hey!

Hold on just seriously, I love this.

Ow, just.

Ha, ha, ha.

Hey babe.

Hey what are you doing?

Ahh, just reading,
you put the kids to bed?

Yeah just put them to
bed about a half hour ago,

so they are sleeping.

Nice.

By the way babe I am literally
in the coolest bathroom

I have ever been in my entire life,

I mean this house is insane!

Yeah, is it amazing?

I was picturing you and I
living in a house like this

in the Hollywood Hills like,
hanging out by the pool.

Babe, you don't need to buy me a house.

I will make it happen,
but I'm telling you this

bathroom is like in-sane,
there is literally a mirror

on every single wall and
the ceiling has a mirror.

So I can like, I'm
literally waving to myself

on the ceiling taking a dump.

In-sane.

I miss you.

Yeah, uh, have a good day at work tomorrow

and I'll see you tomorrow night.

Alright, I'll see you
tomorrow, I love you.

Love you too.

Bye.

Bye.

Everyone...You don't have to get married,

you don't have to have a piece of paper.

You don't need, you don't
need somebody to tell you

that you and Alice belong together.

You happy with her?

Is she happy with you?

So why is everyone getting fucking
married? Like, religion?

It's society, it has nothing
to do with just religion.

It's pressure.

I don't think people need to
get married, that's just me.

I, I think Marriage is important.

I think if I do nothing
things will be great

because things are great now.

Wait a minute can I ask
you a wait a minute hold on

We have been taking bets I'm telling you.

I, I think you have
one year left with her.

Shut the fuck up.

Don't listen to these guys.

I, I didn't do that bet.

He said a couple of months.

I'm already out money,
and then when I'm out money,

You are betting against me being happy?

I'm betting against you
being happy for a long time.

Yeah I know, I'm betting against you.

I los-I lost a lot of money.

I appreciate that.

You know my kid called
me a cocksucker today.

- Shut the fuck up, really?
- What?

Four year old girl just
looked at me and said

Daddy you're a cocksucker.

How does she know you so well?

Sorry, sorry to interrupt.

Apologize.

Hi Josh, you are playing
with Cam's money I see.

Yeah, I'm doing okay.

I'm out, finish the hand,
I'm going to get you a beer.

Yeah, I need a beer.

I thought this was a guy's night.

Yo man, why do you always got
to bring up fucking marriage

and how happy you are man,
let-et that dude live.

He's divorced.

He doesn't want to be divorced.

You think he wants to be divorced?

I'm fine being divorced.

No you're not, you're not fine.

You winning us lots of money?

Uh, I am winning us lots of money.

Oh, by the way I was
going to tell you this,

uh, very cool news, um,
I actually have a meeting

tomorrow with a producer in Beverly Hills.

Another producer, yes.

- So like,
- Babe that's awesome.

She made a phone call, she,
she got a producing partner.

Yeah.

Uh, have a meeting in the
morning, I don't really want

to ride my bike there because,

Yeah, no, no, no, I'll
take you, I'll take you.

Seriously you have time?

I don't want to be sweaty
when I show up there.

Yeah, no you definitely don't want,

you want to look your best.

Oh my gawd thank you!

Do you guys mind if Alice
joins us a little bit?

Hey Alice.

She's gonna play a couple hands with me.

- She's on my team, we're teammates.
- You're a team?

- Okay babe?
- Yeah.

Oooh, this looks juicy, what is it?

Well, it is juicy actually.

What are you talking about,
just say it, it's fine say it.

No, we'll talk about it later.

Dude, say it, it's not a big deal.

Oh, come on.

You man, she's not timid man, let it go.

Look, I'm not comfortable,

He won't have sex with
his girl on her period.

What?

What, why?

I don't blame him.

I'm just saying, like
we used to, we used to

all the time, like it's
fine but you know after.

You gotta earn your
Red Wings my friend.

What are Red Wings?

What are Red Wings?

They are a hockey team in Detroit.

You know the hockey team Red Wings?

That's cute.

Yeah, Yezerman, Chelios.

It's when you down on a
girl and she's on her period.

You get the Red Wings, you look
a little bit like the joker.

Yep yep, you get your sangari on.

A little Bloody Mary, red velvet cake.

I love it with the frosting.

How do you know about this?

Hmmm, little red velvet cake.

What, I eat the fuck
outta some fuckin' pussy

when it's on some.

I mean has earned his Red
Wings so many times over.

He's, he's my general.

Than-thank you,

General?

I'm, I'm her General okay.

Alright are we gonna play poker or what?

Yeah, we should definitely,
we should definitely.

Absolutely.

- Okay.
- Are you excited?

Yeah, yeah, I feel good, I feel good.

Um, I feel, how do I look?

You look good, you look good.

I feel a little sweaty.

- A little bit buy it's fine.
- It's hot out.

You look okay.

Um, okay, um, it'll
probably be about a half hour.

Maybe 45 minutes if it goes really well.

That's fine I have my knitting.

You know these general
meetings can take a second.

That's fine.

Um, but uh.

- Okay.
- Thank you, yeah.

Break a leg.

Thanks for the ride, thanks
for waiting, I appreciate it.

No, no, take your time enjoy your meeting.

- Love you.
- Love you.

What's his name again?

I don't know.

- Hi!
- Hey, come on in.

- How are you, good?
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Larry.

Larry, Cam nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you Cam.

Hank, nice to meet you.

Come on, come on over
here, let's talk about this.

Wow, this is a beautiful, beautiful home.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for doing
this, really Renee has such

wonderful things to say about you, so.

- Amazing, that's amazing, so, thank you.
- Yeah.

You know things good you know,
I'm kind of getting to that

place, where I'm ready to really break.

You know, like go for it, make it happen.

You know meeting Renee is
like kind of a godsend.

I mean meeting you guys,
you know it's like,

I understand that it's like
Boom boom boom boom boom boom.

Building blocks, building
blocks, building blocks,

get in the room meet people.

Did Renee tell you anything about Charlie?

Naw-uh.

He's a heavy hitter.

Actually I have a monologue
I don't know if it's,

- You have a monologue?
- If you wanna see it?

Yes.

You're gonna make him perform right now?

Yes, let's see it, come on
let me see your monologue.

I could just jump right into it.

- Yeah, jump right into it.
- Can I stand?

Yeah, right there's fine.

Cool so this is a little
monologue, it's actually a

original, I wrote this, this
is a piece I wrote myself.

- Okay.
- Um,

Sorry, 1,2,3,

Sorry, I just ahem.

I wanna get there for you guys.

I wanna get there,
I wanna get there.

Okay, take your time.

Um, okay,

Oh come on Linda!

You are telling me this
every freaking day.

I come home from work
and your sitting there,

and it's like--

Oh my Gosh.

You don't even care about
me, and you don't even,

That's great, you got the part.

Are you serious, that's

- Yes
- That's it?

That's it and you know,

- Cause there's more I can
do more of the monologue.
- No, no, no, no.

- That's what, I got the part, I, I mean.
- No, no.

Should I s-, I mean can I s-okay, great.

Oh no no we don't need to
sign contracts dude, I-do

- Sign, don't sign anything.
- I work on a handshake.

Okay, I work on handshakes too, man.

Alright listen put
the kid to bed by eight.

What's that?

Yeah, by eight.

I'm sorry um, did you say kid, um, kid?

You are going to love Charlie.

- What's going on.
- Charlie!

Did you want to um.

Let me show you where stuff
is in case uh you know you

need to call us you got
the numbers just here.

- Okay.
- Uh, taped to the wall.

Help yourself to anything in
fridge, Charlie loves PB&J.

Alright.

Oh, he's go his army pants on!

- Yeah!
- Show him the army move.

Oh, jeeze-us-chr-Okay,
haha, relax buddy, okay.

Seriously calm down.

- Alright.
- Ha-hahha.

- You gonna be a good kid.
- Yep.

- Promise.
- Alright, good.

So you think you can take him?

You think you are alright?

Yeah, no I, huh, I, uh.

Um, this is,

Charlie, Okay.

Why did you think it was a girl?

We thought about that.

Yeah, but no we decided to get a boy.

No, that's not what I was thinking.

Um, can I, my girlfriend
is actually waiting for me

in the car cause she thought, um.

Your girlfriend is waiting for you?

We thought, we just she
jus-drop, she-she-just dropped

me off, she-she's gonna-drop-me-off.

- Oh, okay.
- Okay.

- I need to grab my bag
if you don't mind, yeah.
- Say goodbye, okay.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Ss, how long, how long,
will this be, how long.
- Eight, nine o'clock

A.M. tomorrow, yes.

Overnight.

Yes, overnight.

Yeah, okay, I can do that, I can do that.

I-can-do-that, okay, um,

Take your time.

Thanks Charlie, okay, thanks.

I'm gonna grab my bag,
I'll-jus, cause I thought

that-this-is-so-fu-I-jus,

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

I think he's a pretty good guy, huh?

Hey.

That was so fast.

I know, no it's not
over, uh, it's actually,

the meeting is going to go
a bit longer than expected.

- Oh, that's awesome.
- Yeah.

That's good news right?

I don't want you to have to wait
or anything. Yeah it's good.

Oh, oh-kay.

I'm going to grab my bag.

And then do you just want to
come by later to come get me.

Yeah, What time should I come back?

Ummm, come back at like
maybe I don't know like 8:30,

N-nine, nine A.M.
tomorrow, in the morning.

It's a babysitting job.

It's-I'm watching their kid,
for one night, one night

So just come back tomorrow, I love you.

Seriously, thank you so much.

So uh, are-ya, are you a,
reading a lot of your parent's

scripts or anything.

Yeah, uh-huh.

Your dad's scripts, wha-what
kind of movies are they work

shopping, you know what
they are looking to do?

Sci-fi.

- Really?!?
- Yeah.

Do you know anything more specific,

like what kind of sci-fi?

Um, aliens, aliens.

Seriously.

I have actually been
wanting to do a sci-fi

movie for a long time.

Cool.

Do you know when that's casting by chance?

Two months.

- Two months?
- Yeah.

- Wow, that's, I don't know
that, so it's this year, wow.
- Yeah.

They are shooting this year.

In fact you should say,
you should say, you know,

you know, you know, say dad's um,

could Cam help with casting?

- Cool.
- Just see what they say.

I'll do that.

Do you want me to cut
this in half for you?

- Or how do you like this?
- I like it like that.

What about this?

Perfect.

What about one of these things?

Perfect! Thank you.

That way you have two little sandwiches

and you can enjoy those as you please.

Thank you.

Yeah.

But he was so sad at the
loss of his son that he never

used his wings again,

and that is the end of
the chapter my friend.

Thank you.

Alright, get some rest buddy.

Cool, you have a good night.

Here's some water, you too.

Your dad's will be back
in the morning, so um.

Perfect.

Alright, have a good one buddy.

Thanks.

Goodnight, goodnight.

Goodnight.

Sweet dreams.

Hey buddy, you up?

Alright guys, well hey,

thank you so much I really appreciate it.

Thank you so much for coming.

Charlie say bye!

Bye!

See ya Charlie, okay, um,
if anything comes up please

let me know, I'd be,
I'd be happy to uh

do whatever honestly I'm,

- Okay.
- Big fan.

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you guys, see ya.

Finish your audition tape.

I absolutely will.

Okay.

I absolutely will, thank you.

Thank you, not a bad guy uh.

Oh, man haaahh gawd.

How was it?

- It was good.
- Hi.

Thank you for picking me
up I super appreciate it.

- Was the kid good?
- He was good.

- Was he nice?
- Oh my Gawd!

I forgot the check, I
forgot to get the check.

I'm-gonna-go-get-the-check, holy shit.

Do all that work and not
even paid are you kidding me?

Hey,

hey, guys sorry, such in a rush out

I totally forgot the check.

The what?

Tha-The-uh, the pay, tha-The
are you guys, I'm sorry were

you going to pay me for the uh-work?

Oh yeah we were.

Be nice.

Until we found this.

I just umm.

I, wow,

I am so, I, let me turn that
around so we are not

looking at that part.

Um,

I'm really sorry.

Like, super, super sorry.

It's okay, everyone watches porn.

We are not paying him.

Oh, he's a struggling actor.

I don't care.

He watched porn in our house,
with our child in the house.

I understand but you
know what, um, can I just

Could I just have the check
just to go back to the car with

and I will literally drop
it back off tomorrow.

I just, I don't want to leave
here without that check.

No, you're not getting the check.

Hank, give him the check.

- No!
- Can I just please--

NO!

Hey babe.

We need to find out if
our kid saw that tape.

Oh, he didn't watch
it with him in the room.

How do you know?

- Do you think he did that?
- I don't know.

Charlie!

Sorry about that, they were
a, we got to talking about

movies and stuff again.

What are you hiding?

What's up?

What do you have in your hand?

What do I have in my hand?

No the other,

what you just dropped.

I just, what did I, oh, there, that thing?

Yeah.

It's nothing, let's go, let's go.

Well if it's nothing then why can't I see?

What?

If it's nothing why can't I see?

See what?

What you just dropped.

Oh, sorry, didn't know
what you were talking about.

I'm sorry, um.

It's a VH, it's a, it's a tape.

It's just a tape, why are you being weird?

How am I being weird? It's a tape.

Um, wait also why do you
have a VHS tape it is not 1980.

Cause they were like watch
our movie and I said okay.

No, I'm kidding.

It's their movie?

It's my movie, no, it's it's ah.

Josh gave it to me, actually.

Oh, what movie is it?

I-oh-you-oh-I

It's a, a

Cam, Cam.

What's it's nothing you
don't even have to do,

it's like a, it's a,
stupid thing, it's like uh.

All Anal 5.

- It's a,
- So it's a porn.

- It's, it's it's.
- It's a porn tape.

It's a tape, it's a
VHS, it's, it's Josh,

it's legal tender,
Josh's, I don't know.

This says All Anal 5.

It was in the bag!

I don't, I-I-it's eh.

Were you watching this
while you were in there.

No!

Okay, but it didn't like
magically pop out of the bag.

I mean you took it out and you watched it.

K, first of all, can
we talk about this later?

They are standing right there, they're

Yeah, well, You what, you should have
thought about that. Say thank you.

And I looked at the bag and I
said, I wanna see what DVD's

Josh gave me and I pulled out the tape.

And I saw that the tape said All Anal 5.

And I was like what does that mean?

And so I popped the tape in
the VCR that they have cause I

don't know who owns a
VCR anymore an, they do.

So I wanted to see what's on
the tape and I watched it for

literally two seconds, like.

I watched it for two mins,
I watched it for like a

cou-literally a couple of
minutes and that was it.

I turned it off and that's it.

And yet you did it because
you just had no idea what

All Anal 5 meant?

I wanted to see what All Anal 5 meant.

Yes, I do, I don't know, I was ke-,

babe first of all I'm an adult.

Is this what you want?

What do you mean is that, wh-wha-for what?

Like, we don't do that,
is that what you want?

I'm not saying I want this.

I'm not sa-I'm I'm just no!
I'm-not-it's not about- no!

What do you mean?

I mean why are you watching that,

like that's not what we do,
like are you disappointed

in me sexually, like do I not satisfy you.

What, no, no!

You, of course-I'm not
disappointed in you.

Are you fantasizing that
like you wish you were doing

me up the ass or there is
some other girl with like,

Shh, keep it down, keep it down.

I'm not, listen, I have a lot
of thoughts that go through

my head when we have sex, I
have lots of energies and things

flowing around my mind,
that are sparking and-an-and

I-I-my penis is inside you and
I got a lot of thoughts going

in my head and I I
I, it-it-it's yes.

Maybe on a occasion
I'll have a little bit

of a thought of anal pop in my head.

When we are having sex,
I'm thinking about you.

- I'm thinking about us.
- Ok, ok, ok.

I'm, of course, of course I'm
thinking about you, my penis

is inside what do you think,
I'm thinking about McDonalds?

Well, obviously you just said that

you're thinking about anal.

I'm thinking about anal on you!

It's all about you, I don't
think about VHS tapes when I

have sex with you.

So I do disappoint you.

Okay, listen, first of all.

I do disappoint you, that's
why you have to fantasize

about something else.

Alright Alice, first of all relax.

Because you are reading 50 Shades of Grey

like it's your job, alright,
50 Shades of Grey is-

That is totally

You're obsessed with it.

Um, that is totally different.

Exactly, no, it's, it's porn.

50 shades of grey is porn,
it's porn literature.

It's a love story.

This could be a love story!

You haven't, you're judging
this before you even watched it.

Right I'm sure there
are so many love stories

in All Anal 5.

Have you seen this,
have you seen All Anal 5?

Have you, no, you have
not, so how do you know

it's not a love story?

You know what, it doesn't
even matter, because every time

I read 50 Shades of
Grey you benefit.

Every single time.

Can we go please.

Yes, give me the check.

I don't have a check.

They're not, I don't have a check.

The-wha-they're not gonna,

they are not paying
me, it's fine, just go.

They're-st, they are literally
standing there at the door

like a family looking at us.

Why are they not paying you Cam?

Because they caught me with a fucking

porn tape in their VCR,

I understand where they're coming from.

Na-uh, na-uh.

What are you doing?

Don't do, this is ridiculous,
you are being, this is,

are you kidding me?

Hi, sweetie, can I talk to your parents?

- Sure.
- Thank you.

Dads!

Hon, would you mind
excusing us for a second?

Sure.

Okay, thank you.

And what do you want?

I understand that there's
been a bit of a problem with

you paying Cam and to the
best of my knowledge he

fulfilled every duty that
he needed to as a babysitter.

You're child was fed,
you're child was put to bed,

and was safe through the night.

So you need to pay him.

Um.

So if you wanna go get your check

right now that would be appreciated.

No need to get my checkbook, here.

Great, you two have a great day.

I'm so glad I'm with you.

I am incredibly turned on right now.

Like super turned on, you know that right?

Babe!

You said you were competent
enough to be a babysitter.

I did not give you that tape so that

you could play it at the fucking house.

Dude, I know, like it was
a stupid thing, I agree.

What were you thinking, Hank
called Renee, and then Renee

bitched me out for like two hours.

I almost lost my job!

I vouched for you, I
had to say I found you

off of Craigslist, you
are a craigslist pervert.

You are so dumb, like how
could you not be trusted

to do this, you can't
be trusted with kids.

You can't be trusted with anything.

A 16-year-old girl knows,

I'm not going to watch porn

Dude.

and leave it in the VCR.

Alright listen up everybody
apparently Lucile is too

pregnant to do her job
and now I have roots.

So if anybody knows anybody
that will work for $10 an hour

plus benefits, minimum benefits.

Send them my way, I don't
have time for this shit.

Tomorrow you're starting work
as a secretary at my office.

I'm what?

So these are our beads
please don't touch them okay?

I'm not touching anything.

- Now, this is my work.
- Good morning.

Ca-Cam, focus, this is my work.

I need you to be professional, no stop!

No, no PDA, no, it's not allowed.

Okay, we are in a business
setting so you need to get your

find focused on to that.

Here's a desk, this is your desk okay.

You have your phone your
stapler, you have everything you

need, just answer the phones.

You really think I should be a secretary?

This like, is this going to work?

Cam, you're an actor, act
like you are a secretary.

Kristine Kauai, please hold.

See, easy peasy,
alright, pretend you're in

a Christopher Guest movie.

I just, where are you go-hmm.

Thank you for holding how
may I direct your call?

Uhhhhhh, I'm sorry who?

Tong?

Gonoh, Tong, from Viet-
you're calling from Vietnam?

Holy shit, uh, one sec.

Is there anyone around?

I got a Tong!

I got a Tong from Vietnam
on the phone someone?

Okay, I like the muted palette.

Yeah it's nice.

But it's also what needs something.

Hey.

- Very sleepy.
- Hey.

- What are you doing?
- I'm working.

We're working Cam.

I know Kaylee I can see that.

Babe you can't be back here.

I'm just looking this
is, this is incredible.

Look at this place.

Yeah, it's where the work happens.

Yeah.

I'm just saying hi.

- I know hi, I'll see you at home.
- Shh, oh no, phone, okay bye.

- Okay.
- Bye.

You should tell him not to run like that.

He looks like a woman.

Uhhh, do you know her extension?

You don't, hold on I can find
it, one sec, please hold.

Uh, here you go, I'm
going to transfer you now.

You too.

Excuse me can I help you?

Hi.

Hi.

Sorry about that, urgh, Jezzus.

Is there someone helping you?

What, no I work here,
I'm sorry, um, hi I'm Cam.

I-er-am, I am working at the, the um.

Filling in for er a Lucile
it is I believe it was.

Yeah, who, uh.

Oh, Alice, Alice.

You're Bette right, I
think we may have actually

Yeah, uh, hi, Bette Finklestien
you can call me Bette.

I will, you be-you betcha!

No?

Kristine Kauai.

Please hold.

Hey what are you doing tonight.

I don't know, probably going home.

You should come out to happy hour.

Yeah!

Come on.

Yes.

You should come too!

I'm going to happy hour, we are all,

babe everyone's going.

- Happy hour?
- Yeah.

Everyone's going to happy hour.

If you decide to come, text me.

- Alright.
- Bye.

- Nice meeting you both.
- Bye.

First day of work,
look at you working man.

Thank you, I still feel really,

terrible.

I would kinda like to buy you
a drink and make it up to you.

And I really don't want to sleep on the

couch again tonight, so.

Oowwe, is that what it is?

It's everything.

That's what it is.

I will buy you a drink, please, honestly.

Um, the drinks are like $16.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

- Whose, that is so expensive for a drink.
- I know.

Let's, I'll buy a
drink and we'll share it.

It's like, they are my
co-workers you know what I mean,

I don't really want to like

They are my co-workers too.

Come on, one drink, one drink.

Yes.

Cam deserves a drink, he
survived one whole day of work.

Well I have worked before
Kaylee, but thank you for that.

Okay, well real work,
so, I'm buying alright,

I have been giving you
a lot of shit, I'll just

You are buying?

Yes I'm buying.

Alright, well-if-she's, I mean.

Oh, okay, alright, I
can't say no to free booze,

so alright.

Come on let's go, let's go.

Let me just finish up and

Why are you so sweaty, why are you sweaty?

Because it's hot in here Kaylee.

I'm answering phones all day.

Stop working, please
let's go have some fun.

Okay, alright, okay, no
I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.

Totally done number 72, done, sample.

Yes, you're the bitch, take her purse.

Uh, I will take this, my what?

She just call you a bitch?

No, that you are my bitch.

How was your day.

- Hey how was your day?
- It was good, it was good.

- You had a good day?
- Yeah.

He-thank-you- not in
the work place, you can't.

Look at you.

I'm learning.

Always, and I'll be like it's
time for you to spoon me and

I'll roll over and ohhh babe no be around,

oh-oh-kay fine.

I know right.

You know, and we are
on, we're on the ride.

And she's like getting
all nauseous and stuff.

And she's like you know I gotta
get off, I gotta-it's it's a

Ferris wheel like, you know
in Santa Monica, it's like

He always tells this story.

I always cause it, stopped,
it stops, the cart kind of

you know, like swings back and
forth and like she's afraid

of heights and I'm afraid of heights.

- So it's just like.
- You both are afraid of
heights, and you went on it?

Yes.

We wanted to have an adventure!

We wanted to have an adventure.

I love you babe.

I love you.

Um, what, what are you doing?

What are you?

Sh-what.

- What are you doing, are
you going for my butt.
- What!?!

Are you going for my butt?

- I'm trying something, I'm
trying something, wha-what?
- No-no-no, no, no.

I don't, I don't.

Come on, let me try something.

I don't want that no.

Babe, babe, babe, come on,
I'm trying to be creative, I'm

trying to bring some romance,

come on 50 shades of
Cam, 50 shades of Cam.

Just the tip, seriously, please, please?

Just the tip.

Seriously, okay.

Yeah, she's not in today.

I will uh, you got it, okay, alright bye.

- Hey, Bette.
- How's it going Cam?

Good.

How are you getting along here.

Uh, it's good, I appreciate
the, I appreciate it,

I appreciate it, I'm,
I'm I, I-heya, uh yeah.

It's been a good you know,
sit-day two but ta-ha.

Hmmum.

I think I'm sliding right in you know.

How are you and
Alice uh, doing?

Good, yeah, I mean you know relationships

have ups and downs but.

Let me just give you some advise.

Okay.

Really don't talk about
being in a relationship here.

Right, because.

Got it.

Yeah, no that makes sense, I'm sorry.

Did you ever work in an office before?

Ah, oh yeah, sure, sure, sure, I've done

a lot of office work, PA work, yeah.

Okay, uhuh.

Film set stuff, I've
been on film sets a lot.

Uhuh, okay.

Yeah.

Let me ask you a question?

Let me start here, what do
you think about my shoes?

Uh, I mean they are kind
of, they remind me of,

like uh, like uh, medieval sort of thing.

But I mean do you like them.

Yeah, I mean sure, real nice.

Like if I were to get them closer.

A- huh, um, I think that maybe,

now they are a little scarier
then they were before.

- HmmmM.
- Perhaps.

HmmmM.

Maybe a little too close for,
I mean, you know the office.

No offense but, you know

does she like to collect stray puppies?

Like what is it about
you that she finds so

intriguing?

Cause I always wonder when I
see a guy like you with a girl

like Alice, what's happening in this area?

Just a standard five and a half you know.

Just kinda, that's how it goes.

I have a hard time
believing that to be true.

Well, I wish that was
not true, but a, you know.

What if I take the shoe off?

What's happening down in the crotch area.

Hm-ha.

I call it a Federline.

Like what's the magic wand,

that makes that relationship sing.

That is just-ta, uh.

So far I'm not really getting anything.

No, I'm just trying to hold
back Bette because I think

this is might be a little bit
inappropriate for the office.

You know what I'm saying
I really should not be

doing this right now.

Don't get so flustered.

I have a girlfriend and she works

just down the hall and I just.

- I know where she is.
- I just feel like.

She's not going to leave
there, unless I tell her to.

Well I just feel like,
yep, there he goes, opp.

Yeah.

It's moving, it's moving.

Oh, that's getting impressive.

I really Bette, I, I don't
want to be rude, and I, I your

my boss but I just think that maybe this

What if I go back there?

That's my asshole.

Shouldn't we get the, should I get this.

No.

I think we're good
on the phones right now.

Uhm, let's talk about this later.

To be continued.

Uhm.

Okay.

Holy shit.

Come in.

Uh, Bette,

um, so I just need to uh,
you know, what just happened

out there, I need to obviously say I think

it was probably inappropriate
what you just did.

At the desk over there.

What I just did?

Uh, with your foot on my, you know?

- Do me a favor.
- Yes.

Don't try to a, railroad over me.

I'm not doing anything over you Bette.

Like that's my whole point.

You're not going to be
happy the way it turns out.

I just don't think you are
understanding where I'm coming

from here, I'm not trying to
be rude, I'm not going to say

anything, but it's sexual
harassment, which is fine.

I'm not going to say anything.

I'm not going to say
anything, but you please

You're right, you're absolutely right

it is sexual harassment.

Yes, thank you.

But I am going to say
something, because at this point

it's your word against mine.

No, I please can we just?

Bette, seriously, like, just.

Bette!

Hey babe.

This was a terrible idea.

Don't listen to her at all.

He just sexually
harassed me, in my office.

- What are you talking about?
- What?

He touched me in my office
and he needs to leave right

now, and if I were you I'd
get my head in the game.

You're barely hanging on by a thread.

No, I,

I just wonder if maybe there
was a little miscommunication?

Yes.

Because I don't see Cam
being the predator type.

Do I look stupid to you or crazy?

No, I wasn't saying that you were stupid.

These woman in here, and
Fred, are my responsibility.

I understand that.

And if he's going to be off
the leash being a predator

and attacking people
in my work environment

that's my responsibility.

I'm not attacking people
in your work environment.

And I don't need to get sued because

this guy can't keep it in his pants.

Of course, of course.

Oh, my gawd!

Did you take it out of your pants?

- Not only that,
- I was sticking up for you.

He shoved his crotch
into the side of my arm

She had her toe in my butt
hole, more than the tip,

it was like the whole thing,
she was sexually harassing me

I was sticking up for you and I was saying

I have a girlfriend and
that you cannot do this.

Cam, Cam!

The issue is not,

You need to shut up, calm down.

Excuse me, are you
telling me to calm down?

No, I'm no, I'm no.

Listen missy, and you're
trying to boss me around?

No, no, no.

Because you have to have this puppy.

I just think that the
tempers are a little high.

Her foot was in.

- And maybe if we could
just calm down a little.
- You know what?

Easy fix then,
I'll tell you what.

He's gonna leave today, five minutes.

If he's not you better
have the police in here.

And you are gonna go with him.

I don't appreciate what you
brought into my business.

Don't appreciate it.

And I gave you a shot,
I believed in you.

This was more important,
well you got it now.

Uh, Alice.

Don't talk to me, don't talk to me.

Nice work Cam.

That was not my fault.

Nothing is ever your fault is it?

That was not, Kaylee, this
woman is, she had her toe

I don't want to hear it.

In and around my asshole, she did!

Please, just.

She took her shoe off and
she put her toe in my butt.

Please just go.

Jezzus.

I mean, you know babe
this, like, I mean honestly.

Like, this could be a good thing for you.

I mean you could have a
lot of time now honestly,

to like work on your drawings.

And like work on your designs,

like you don't have to go and be so

unappreciated.

You know by

Seriously?

Yeah, what?

Are you kidding me right now?

I loved my job,

and what do you do.

You come to my work, you get me fired.

Because I trusted you.

Because I believed in you.

To just, just answer a phone.

And I can't, I can't
even trust you with that.

I don't want to be your mom Cam.

I don't know what you are saying.

I just don't know what you are saying.

I mean, I don't know.

I can't.

I love you.

I love you.

But I don't think that's enough.

Just can't I'm sorry.

I am so excited.
Cam!

Hey, hey.

Wowa, heyya.

Cam.

Mr. Rivera.

- How are you, good to see you.
- Good to see you.

Yeah.

Mrs. Rivera how are you,
oh my God Jees louis, wha-um.

- Surprise.
- Okay.

Surprise.

There you go.

I can't wait to see my girl.

Let's go, she's right up there.

Let's go.

Come on, upstairs here.

Je-ya-uo-ya upstairs.

Hurry up Cam.

Okay, there's, so there's no elevator?

What is that noise?

It's Cam.

Oh, okay.

The hike over the mountains.

Did you really?
Come on in guys.

Amazing.

Okay.

Hey babe, um, your parents are here.

Okay, thank you.

Of course, no, please, come on in.

Where is she?

Oh my God, hi!

Look at you, look at you,
look at you, look at you.

- Oh God what a surprise.
- You look so tired.

Honey she

What's wrong with your hair?

Honey you are fine.

Hi dad.

What's wrong with your hair.

What are you guys doing here?

We are here on our layover.

Hawaii.

Oh, uh, the 2nd honeymoon.

That's right we're going to
the leper colony of Maloki.

Maloki, they have a museum there.

It's absolutely beautiful.

And then the largest
sea cliffs in the world.

But you can't dive off of them.

It's amazing.

No, no, I don't think you
we can visit those at all.

No, no, no.

Honey you look so tired.

Rested, rested.

I was I was taking a nap and I uh.

Oh, I'm so sorry did we wake you up honey?

I'm so sorry.

Oh, no, no, it's fine.

I'm so glad, I was just

Are you working too much?

Oh, gosh, they keep me so busy at work.

That's great yay.

What did I tell you.

She's so ambitious I love her for that.

We're so proud of you, honey I'm hungry.

Really hungry, yeah.

- Parched.
- Okay.

We thank you Lord for having
a safe trip here to see our

beautiful daughter and Cam.

And we thank you for the
wonderful food that you have

allowed Cam to cook, and
all this in the name of

our Jesus Lord our only savior, amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Mi hija.

No se, muy bien, no se, muy bien.

Se trabajando mucho y
trabajando muchas houras.

Oh that's wonderful,
I love your ambition

and I'm so proud of you.

And they should be feeling
very lucky to have you.

Very lucky.

I, I think, I think they are.

Really?

You know I was actually,
telling Alice that she should

take her designs and do more you know.

Get a little bit more ambitious
with her career and just

kind of maybe like you know,

try to do something that
would make her happier.

Something you know.

What, you are not happy?

Abs, I, I'm so happy.

She's happy, I'm
not saying she's not happy.

I'm so happy.

I um understand you're so happy.

This is on the wrong side of the napkin.

Love, my job.

Okay great, I love that you love your job.

Yes, and she's the one
bringing home the paycheck.

I don't know what else more she
could do, could she do more?

What could she do more?

She's got a great job.

Yes.

She's got a great job.

Great job.

If I was your age and
I didn't have a job.

I don't even want to think about it.

It's making me nervous,
my hand is shaking.

It just can be hard.

You know we've been together 35 years.

I know it's amazing.

We just have one thing that
we promised ourselves is that

we will never ever go to bed angry.

Really?

Oh, never, and the bed, the bed is good.

The bed is good.

Okay.

How's the bed?

It's good.

No, no, no, how's the bed?

Mom, I don't want to talk, this is weird.

I don't wanna

What's so weird about it?

I don't know, you're my mom.

You people text each other
pictures of yourselves naked.

What's so weird if I ask
you how's it going in bed?

Because you're my mom, and
I don't text anybody pictures.

Bed is the most important
thing you have got going.

Ok, but a

I'll tell you when the rough times come.

That's what you will have to turn to.

Okay, it's, it's great.

Yeah?

It's cool that you guys
were able to kind of make some

time and swing by pop in and
say hi to Alice, before ah.

Well.

Before jumping to
Hawaii this evening.

We love her.

Yeah I know of course, I, it's a.

And like anything that
you need to cultivate,

like a family, relationships,

Sure.

You need surprises, you need to show up.

I think

- unexpectedly.
- last night, probably,

It was a very interesting
time for you guys to pop in

and I think that's probably, you know,

there's never, there's
always, there's never,

you know family is important.

And I think she's probably very happy

that you guys came last night.

She was probably, um,
yeah, yeah, it's always

good to see you guys, for her.

Good.

For her, she misses you, I know that.

And then there's round the
whirly, that one works amazing.

Okay, oh, gawd there is so many

visuals happening right now.

I know isn't it great.

It's just kind of terrible.

I tell you this is another
way, to get the when to happen.

I'm serious.

Give him the whirlwind.

You know men are really simple.

They need the bed, and,

you know, they need to be propped up.

They need to be made to
feel that they are the hero,

the savior, they are
the provider protector

no matter what they are doing.

And I'll tell you, you'll have that

marriage proposal in no time.

Thanks so much for stopping, oh, love you.

- I love you too.
- Thank you.

And you look great.

Thanks.

Keep the hair up, that's better for you.

Bye beautiful.

Bye.

For your face.

Love you, you guys have a safe flight.

Good seeing you again,
very good to see you.

Cam,

- Have a good time in Hawaii.
- Thanks.

Be careful.

Have a safe flight guys.

Okay, thank you.

Come on let's go, we gotta
go, go, we have a flight.

Okay, alright, let's go!

Yeah.

Alright.

Good.

Okay.

Sausage, jalapenos you can, hey.

Hey, is it cool if I crash here for

a coup-couple couple

of days or something like that.

Yeah, make that an extra large.

Yeah dude, um, yeah,

yeah, 837, uh,

Hello, my name is Edward,

and this is a poem I wrote
for my aunt Virginia.

And then I say don't touch me there,

because I'm ticklish.

Tell me the truth, is there
any scent a woman can smell

like that you just wouldn't
wanna have sex with?

Would like make you wanna
not have sex with her?

Is there any smell, anybody?

Ass!

You say ass?

Yeah.

Erection in the forest,
rivers of holy jism.

Drowning, choir boys and buffalo wings.

I don't know man, this is
honestly been the longest

it's been, Alice and I
haven't been together

since I've known her, I mean.

Yeah, that's gonna happen, umm.

The important thing is that
you, you start the process of

acting like you were never
together in the first place.

The sooner that you can like
kind of put all this behind

you and act like it never happened

its-its' it's really for the best.

It sounds stupid now, but
it'll it'll make sense in time.

I'm not sure how to do that.

Instead of thinking that
you were broken up with,

just it's it's a lot easier
to just imagine that like,

maybe she got shot or something.

Like, instead of thinking
oh, my girlfriend broke up

with me, just be like she got shot.

Like she's dead?

Like she's dead.

And, and, and you have
to move on from that,

because there's like,
there's like a heroic,

there's like a courageous aspect to that.

Like I'm moving forward,
and that's beautiful.

You're gonna need that.

Is that what you did with Carol?

I did yeah, I imagined that she was dead.

And I miss her, I wish
she was still alive.

But you know, there's
really nothing that we ca

She is still alive, you can call her.

Well, it's true but, naw, I really can't.

I've-I've I've spent a lotta
time kind of building this up

inside of me and
I'd be, It'd be,

It'd be kind of a waste
if I, if I did that now.

What you should do is, get up there,

right now and tell the world how you feel.

It's time.

I'm Cam, my name is Cam.

I had a girlfriend for awhile,

she broke up with me recently.

I hate that she thinks she's so superior

because she pays the rent.

But I make the food.

I cook the food.

And the sex, fucking a man,
I'm telling you I'm doing shit

in the bedroom that you
would not believe man.

Like,

that's me 69-ing but I'm no top.

My penis is in her mouth, you see that?

She fucking loves it.

When we filed our taxes
earlier this year my girlfriend

claimed me as her dependent
like I'm her son, like I'm her

child, and I said to her,
I looked her in the eyes

I'm like baby I'm your man.

She still did it anyways,
because she said we will get more

money back from the
IRS, and I said fine.

It's hard to have a realist
and a dreamer together in a

relationship, unless you are 12.

I had a great girlfriend in 6th grade,

she loved that I wanted to
be the next Steven Spielberg,

the next Russell Crowe,

but you can't have a realist and

a dreamer in the same relationship,

and I don't know when
she lost being a dreamer,

but it happened, it happened.

At some point she said I
would rather make the money,

then live the dream.

I think reality is fucking bullshit.

And I think it's a word,
and a way of thinking,

that people project in order
to get through the day.

Ah, it's not real, that's
not, we can't really do this,

we can't really be this way,
we can't really have this life.

And dreams,

Well those are meant to
be lost once you grow up.

I hate the way Alice,
like, I hate the way,

her name is Alice, alright, first of all

I hate the name Alice, I hate
how beautiful it is, Alice!

It's like a Greek Goddess,
drives me crazy every time I have

to fucking answer the
phone and hear her name,

hey it's Alice, I'm like Jesus
Christ, just make me feel

like a piece of shit why don't you.

I hate the way how soft her hands are.

Her hands are so godamn soft
I can't stop fucking rubbing

them all day long, I'm like
distra-I can't do anything else.

Honestly, I just hate how
much I fucking still love her.

That's what I hate most.

So after Carol died, um, I was in kind of

a rough place too, and I'll
tell you what got me through it.

I went to work, it's not
a great story but-um.

There is a message in it, I-uh
It's not so much you should

find a job, but rather
you should have one.

Alice died in a plane crash, this morning.

And-uh she died thinking of
you it was painless, uh-and she

died hoping that you would get
a job and get off my couch.

I know what you are thinking,
just don't call her.

Don't talk to her, nothing.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

Hey, a, Luke can you
ask him to leave please.

I don't think you
should be here right now.

You should probably go home.

Alright, well I need to talk with
Alice for like two seconds.

If you go home, write an
email, it'll give her time to

think about what you are
saying, you can think about what

you are saying before send it.

I do not want to have to hurt you.

I don't think you are going to and you're

not going to get in today.

I have a lot of rage
built up inside of me,

and there is a chance that
I could do something really

crazy, so just open the
door and let me talk to

I'm like six inches taller than you.

Alice, I need to talk to you
for like two seconds, please.

You can talk to her another time.

Alice!

- Luke.
- Really Cam?

- You have two seconds to let me in.
- You're not coming in.

Or I'm breaking the door.

- You're not coming in.
- Alright that's it.

Come on Cam.

Alice, al

You guys hire or no?

No, you don't hire, okay.

It's a family business.

Hey, how are you?

Sorry we are not open yet.

That's actual-actual I'm
ok I'm actually not looking

for a drink I'm a,

I actually came here, I was

wondering if you guys
are hiring by chance?

Umm, sorry no we are not, I
just hired somebody last week.

You did, okay.

Full up.

Nothing, I can bartend, I
could helped out behind the bar.

You've bartended before?

Uhhhh, I had a buddy in college
who was bartending quite a

bit and I kind of helped
him study for that, test.

I'm sorry no, that's not the way it works.

It's not right?

You have to be a bartender,
you have to have referrals.

It's like law school I get it.

Um, okay, well, anything
else I could be do maybe uh.

Honestly I would do
anything I just, I just,

I'm a really good guy, I'm
also an actor so I'm like,

I got a lot of charisma!

And a, I really do, I'wa
I'wa I'would be happy I jus,

I just wanna work, I just
wanna work, what's your name?

It's Toni.

Toni, I'm Cam, very ni--

That's a heck of a hand
shake you got there.

That's really good, that's really good.

Thanks.

Toni, please I need a
job, I'll do anything.

I'll clean the bathrooms, like,
let me just like, I can ride

my bike here it'll be good.

I can help, I-I I'm I'm
car-less at the moment

but-a a that's gonna change
as soon as I get a new helmet.

I'm gonna buy a new helmet
first then I'm gonna buy a car.

See this thing.

Yeah it's been beat up.

- High school.
- You doing alright?

I'm doing okay, it's life Tone, it's life.

- Listen.
- Things are tough.

Yes?

I could, I could use a bus boy.

Just for a couple of days a week.

I will do that.

- Will that work?
- Yes, honestly?

Yeah.

Okay, um, wha

Start tomorrow?

Yes, yes!

Okay, what time?

Five.

A.M. or P.M.?

P.M.

Okay, that makes sense,
cause I think A.M. is a little

early for a bar to open so, okay.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I will not let you down.

5 P.M. sharp!

In fact I am going to let you up.

I can only offer you $80,000.

Okay.

Now I realize of course that you're

used to making more than that.

But, I have something
for you to think about.

I see you as being able to create

your own line at my company.

I don't think you had that
opportunity over there.

No, I definitely didn't, um,

that's a very generous offer.

Thank you, I would love to accept.

Yo!

Oh, dude, hey.

Okay, so I priced it
out I owe you 500 dollars

but you know you have been
living here, so that's not free.

Minus the 16 from before 11
eggs we're gonna bump that up

to like five, you have
been here for 12 nights.

We're, we're gonna put that
at like 27 dollars a piece,

half a bottle of shampoo, we
went in for 100 dollars worth

of beer but we said we'd go
halvesy so that's 50 and then

you gotta clean my couch,
that's like 30 bucks,

that puts us at like, that's
like a, that's four-sixteen.

So a, I owe you a, eighty-four dollars.

You do.

I make my own paper,
and make my own books.

Which lead to the, jean
company that I now design.

And uh, which also I started,
I model my own jeans.

- Like I'm the only
- Of course you do.

- In house model.
- Wow.

And so, that's another reason
why I watch a lot of what I

eat and it's just bread, uh,

a gluten, makes me swell up and

then sends my mind, like in my
memory into all of those fat

memories, it's just airplanes.

He has one of the worst body images

I have ever encountered.

What is that, body dysmorphia, right?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Your life is busy, you
have so much stuff going on.

There's so much to talk about.

Yeah, I'm cleansing, like
I'm doing a juice cleanse right

now so I'm like super amped.

I actually was thinking
of going to the restroom.

Do you want to come with me?

Get me outta here, get me
outta here, let these two ladies

talk, we'll go chill, yeah,

Having a little girl
time in the power room?

Don't eat all the bread.

Well you could eat it
actually, cause I wont have it.

- Thank you.
- We're good.

Okay.

So, what do you think?

What do you mean?

I know what you are trying
to do, and it's really sweet,

but like,

I just um,

it's just too soon, you know?

I'm not trying to find the
next prince charming for you,

but, you can have fun with him
tonight and tonight only in

multiple ways if you want.

I might get caught in his cheek bones

or his jawline, you know like.

Okay, so you, you like
the norm of fat, chubby,

and hairy, and doesn't make money.

Drive safe, have a good night.

This is exhausting.

Hey kid, this one is for you.

You're-you're going to give me a shot?

I'm giving you a shot.

- Is this legal?
- It's, well

Thank you.

This is a lot of work.

- Yeah.
- This is a lot of work.

Did you know it was
going to be this tough?

Thank you, a no I did not.

It's crazy, where is Dave?

I thought he was working tonight.

You're, you're doing a good job, okay.

And I think, you know, you
got a future ahead of you.

- Do I?
- You do.

- Alright, good, well.
- Keep working hard,

and my sister is a director, and she may

just give you a job.

Your sister is a director?

She is.

Like a film director?

Ya.

I will keep working
hard, thank you, seriously.

I, thank you.

Hey, Alice, I filmed Cam doing this.

I think it's pretty funny,
but, you might think it's,

I don't know, nice or something, Josh.

Also I paid Cam back his money.

Nobody has $500 right now.

I think reality is fucking bullshit.

And I think it is a word and
a way of thinking that people

project in order to get through the day.

Oh, that's not real, that's
not, we can't really, do this

we can't really be this way.

We can't really have this life.

And dreams,

well those are meant to be lost.

Once you grow up.

I need a vodka.

On the rocks?

Straight up.

You got it pretty lady.

Cut!

- Hi, uh.
- Hi.

You have, three words right, that you say

in this, in this film, okay.

Yes, yes.

What are those words again,
let's just go through it.

- On the rocks!
- One the rocks!

That's great, okay, on the rocks.

So nothing before,

Nothing before.

Nothing after.

On the rocks, give her
the drink, zip my mouth.

I love it Cam, I love it,
it's okay, just warming up.

Very nice work Sapphire.

A lot of nerves that's fine.

Call it when you are ready.

Still rolling, sound rolling.

Alright, alright, Cam!

What?

No.
no.

- Bartending.
- Nope.

Okay.

And action!

I need a vodka.

On the rocks?

- What the fuck are you doing?
- Sorry.

What the fuck was that?

I thought that would be kind of cool.

I don't know what that is, what is that?

Okay, back to one!

It's creepy.

Very good, here we go,
let's roll it, ready?

Yes.

Sound speed?

No, you don't need to do
that, that's not your job.

I was just making sure he was speeding.

- Nope, you don't need to do it.
- Fair enough.

Don't need to look at him.

Gotta focus.

No-yeah, focus on what you do on
your three words, thank you.

- Got it.
- Okay.

How are you feeling, you good?

- Sh-You-don't need to
check in, don't check in.
- I was just making sure that--

She doesn't, she doesn't
need you to check in with her.

Okay.

Don't drink it.

Why are you drinking the vodka?

I thought it was water,
I'm sorry, that's gross.

Alright, I'm sorry, I'm
I'm I'm trying to give you

something, I'm trying to
give you like options.

I don't want anything.

- You really don't
- Noooo.

- Just on the rocks.
- Yeaaah.

Copy that.

And,

action.

I need a vodka.

On the rocks?

Did you just look at her breasts.

Looking at her dress.

No, that's gro, that's gross.

That's not what I was doing

You are making me want to kill myself.

I'm so sorry.

Oh-kay?

- Do you understand that?
- I get this, yes.

I cannot work like this.

Ok, alright, alright, here
we go, here we go, here we go,

for real, for real, for real, for real.

I'm sorry, argggh, gawd!

I'm so I'm so jazzed to be on set.

Here we go, ready when you guys are.

Call it when you are ready.

They are still a speeding, sound speeds.

Make up is good, make up is good?

Alright thank you, don't do that.

I'm saying hi to Toni.

Don't kiss me.

- It's not, it's for her.
- Don't even talk to me.

Sorry Kathryn.

I'm' going to fucking kill you.

I really am sorry.

I am going to fucking kill you.

I'm trying to give you m-magic.

No, I-I- I hate you.

- I wanna give you magic.
- I hate you.

- No you don't.
- I do.

I think you are just a little stressed.

No, I hate you.

- Seriously?
- Uh-huh, and action.

I need a vodka.

Yeah, me too!

Oh gawd, what-r-u.

Kathryn can we please
be on the same page here.

I'm sorry- you're right, I'm sorry.

You said you hated me and,

I didn't mean it.

And I need some encouragement.

Look, I didn't mean
it, I was just a little,

I'm just a little
stressed, right now, okay?

Thank you sir,
I, a, thank you.

Action.

I need a vodka.

On the rocks?

Straight up.

Woaw, print, that-wa-
that was brilliant.

That was amazing you guys.

Alright it's wrapped.

- One more for safety.
- Nope, wrapped, never.

How are you doing?

I'm good, I'm good a post shoot jitters.

I suppose.

You feel good?

I feel like I may have
flubbed a few of the lines.

Yeah, yeah.

Did I?

Yeah, just a little.

Listen, I, dude, Toni, you
have been like, thank you for

giving me opportunity to work here.

Bro it out.

Yep.

And you got me on set dude, like honestly.

Hug it out, thank you so much.

You owe me nothing, and
you've done so much.

I think you are a great,

just don't let it get to your head.

Right, okay, well.

You're still a bus boy.

I'll remember that
while I ride my bike home.

I'll be like I'm a bus
boy on my bike and uh,

- Get outta here.
- I'll see you tomorrow.

Okay, see ya.

Hey Cam.

I get off set,
I'm walking outside.

She's standing there
it's like an 80s movie.

She's like Cam.

I'm like, I turn around, I swear to God.

It's a it's kind of what went
through my head a little bit.

It was, we kind of had this
great talk and just hearing,

hearing him say all of those things that I

wanted to hear for so long.

It wasn't just him, you know.

I didn't let him take responsibility.

I didn't let him fall
and fix his own mistakes.

I had to do it for him all the time.

Yeah, listen, sometimes you
got to understand that you are

accountable for things that

aren't quite working in a relationship.

My struggles as an actor
and like I just needed

to step it up a little bit.

And like I feel like a
complete moron for like

getting her fire-I mean I got her fire-

I can't believe I got you fired.

Oh, my God! I seriously
wanted to punch you in the face.

I just, I mean that, I
don't want to talk about it.

I mean that, I have apologized a billion,

It's fine, we can move on.

Yeah, I'm, I mean it's so
encouraging for me to hear you

say that, you know you have
realized that you should have

taken you know more responsibility

and been more accountable.

I think that's really the right track.

You know for, you guys,

and for people who are having problems.

- Totally.
- It's a great step.

Yeah.

It's a great first step.

I just wonder though, you
know, what, what's tangibly

changed about your situation
that has gotten your

relationship back like on
a, on a the right track.

Where you are supporting each
other, in, in healthy ways?

Ahhh. I'm sorry I didn't
quite catch that. What?

I think she's just means,
what is gonna keep you from

falling into comfortable old

patterns that maybe aren't good.

In the beginning of our relationship, um.

Earlier stages we sorta
had that problem too

but we started going to therapy.

A little bit.

A little bit.

Well, we, we found some good
ways to, when you love the

person but you can't be them.

Even though you feel that you are.

Yes, you have to be your own person.

We should recommend Lauren.

That's a great idea.

Yeah, you know we have
this great couples therapist

that we have worked in the past.

But yeah, she really helps you work on

your codependency issues.

So that way you can find
your own, footing as a

individual and can just kind
of be there as, you know,

teammates, standing next to
each other looking into the

future together.

Two people standing on their
own, standing together, good.

She loved that saying.

Yes, she used it a lot.

You guys would love her.

Yeah, I mean.

I don't think that's the point.

I think we gotta go.

- We gotta go?
- We gotta go.

- We gotta go like that?
- We're gonna go.

We're gonna go, she's the boss, okay?

Thanks you so much though.

Why are you going?

You got it?

Yeah, cause we gotta go.

Okay, guys this has been
a lot of fun, as always.

On me, take care.

Kaylee have fun at work
tomorrow, tell Bette I said hi.

And I'll see you next time.

I hate how she always
thinks that she's right.

Do you think she's right?

About us being co-dependent?

Yeah, like do you think that's,

we are not co-dependent are we?

Who cares.

We love each other, we're happy, right?

Totally.

Will you drive?

You want me to drive?

I will totally drive.

Alright.

You wanna go get some ice cream?

Yes.

Maybe go home and,

Get creative.

You wanna get creative?

Always want to get creative.

I will totally get creative.

I will creative all day long.

Okay,

guys.

I'm sorry.

Your attention for a second.

Totally.

Uh, did you bring your W2's.

Yeah.

You do have them right?

Yep, in the moment, sorry about that.

Been a good year?

It's been interesting.

Yeah.

Okay, Alice, oh, you
took a dip in your income.

Oh, yeah, I started a new job, so.

She's doing very well, she's very happy.

Oh, I love it, it's fantastic.

Wonderful, wow
I'm, glad, okay.

And Cam.

Cam, you almost doubled, that's terrific.

I-ah yeah, it was a good year.

It was a good year, and
also I'm listed as a,

ah, performer now, so please
you know note that correctly.

Duly noted, okay.

It'll, he'll change it.

I'm just making sure.

Terrific.

And the big question,
how am I going to file?

Oh, um, I'm going to
claim him as a dependent.

I'm okay with that.