All language subtitles for The Guest Book S02E07 Tonight You Become a Man 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-NTb_track3_[eng]

♪♪

Sam: My name is Sam.

I'm 6 years old.

And tonight
I'm supposed to become a man.

♪♪

I don't think
anyone is in there.

Mom, it's me.
I got her.

Where are you?
And why are you whispering?

Mom, you were
supposed to watch Sam.

Where is she?

She's in Palm Springs
at a silent retreat.

What?!

No, it was this weekend.

Why don't you go
wait in the car, Sammy?

I have the e-mails
to prove it.

No, I-I can't hear you
when you whisper.

Just forget it.
Forget it.

Well,
I guess we can't go now.

No, no, no.

We go every year.

Remember, we promised
if we had a kid,

it would never change us,
right?

We already gave up
Burning Man, Coachella,

Lollapalooza, cocaine...

[ Muffled ]
I don't think that -- no!

It's gonna work out fine.
Don't let that sacrifice...

Go on. Mess with me.

I'm gonna...

[ Whispering indistinctly ]

Pshew. [ Grunts ]

It's gonna be fine.
It's a safe area.

Trust me on this.[ Whispering indistinctly ]

Don't let this -- Please?

Really?

[ Whispering indistinctly ]

You did that.

♪♪

[ Normal voice ]
Hey! Guess what, buddy?

You are gonna go
to the beach with us.

I thought I was
supposed to stay with Nana?

She was supposed to
teach me bread-making

and then take me
to the --No, this'll be better.

This'll be better than that.
This'll be better than that.

Sammy,
what did I tell you

about playing with the dolls,
man?

You're getting too old
for this.

[ Cellphone rings ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Cellphone beeps ]Hello.

Mom: [ Whispering ]
I'm really sorry.

I could have sworn
you said next...

[ Cellphone beeps ]

♪♪

Bodhi:
Looking good, Jack!

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Please, Vivian,
just listen to me --

I'm not dropping the charges,
Nikki.

You stole my credit card.No, I didn't --

Tommy, if she doesn't
back up off me,

I'm gonna be forced
to mace a bitch.

Well, hopefully,
we can resolve this problem

without the use of violence
or the "B" word.

Nikki,
please back up off her.

Do you think
you can talk to her on Monday?

You know Beacharoo's
our busiest weekend.

Speaking of which,
do you think your sister

could watch the baby
for an extra couple hours

so you and I
can get our jam on?

I've still got
that half a joint

I found in the parking lot
last year.

I'm facing up to five years
in prison.

I just don't think
I'll be in the mood.

Well, I thought
it might inspire you.

One of the guys from Chumbawamba
is gonna be the emcee.

He got knocked down,
and he got up again.

So can you.

Hey, I'm here to
pick up the keys for
Bare Feet Retreat.

Well, I hope you're here
for the music festival.

If not, you picked
the wrong weekend.

It gets a little crazy.

Oh, no, we're --

we're here for Beacharoo.

We might, uh, look like
a couple of boring parents,

but she has a tramp stamp
from Coachella,

and I got my nipple pierced
at the mall.

Okay, great.
Well, I'll just find the keys.

So, just to let you know,

there's a shuttle
that takes you

from our parking lot
to the festival.

It's driven by a really
nice lady named Betty.

But she just got
an awful haircut,

so if you pay her
a compliment,

I will throw in a free
mini muffin tomorrow

at our sunrise brunch.

Scott: Okay.

Are we sure
he's old enough for this?

He still sucks his thumb.

That's exactly why
this is a good idea.

The boy has got to grow up
sometime.

♪♪

[ Engine sputtering ]

I think we're gonna have
to do it with the car.

Yeah, I thought
maybe this would work,

but it's not enough juice.

I better get this thing
back to the church parking lot

before mass gets out.

I need to go to work
for a couple of hours.

Are we still going to go over
to the festival tonight

to sell squirts
of hand sanitizer

for a dollar a squirt?

I hope so.

Yeah, if we get there
early enough,

we can set up
by the port-a-potties.

The second those things
run out of toilet paper,

it's gonna be
a gold mine.

♪♪

I'm just saying

I don't think
he's ready for this.

Moms always think their kids
aren't ready for stuff.

My mom didn't think
I was ready for kindergarten,

so I didn't go.

And that's why I still
have trouble naming shapes.

♪♪

Scott: Sam?

Hey, buddy.

Hey, tonight is a big night
for you, okay?

Tonight you get to stay here
all by yourself!

What?

Yeah, you get to stay
by yourself.

Your mother thought about
hiring a babysitter,

but we don't know anyone
at the beach,

and I don't feel comfortable
leaving you with a stranger.

So, no babysitter?Nope.

No babysitter,

because you are not a baby
anymore.

What am I gonna do?

How will I know
when to go to bed?

What will I eat?

Your mom's
ordering dinner,

and your mom and I

are gonna be out
till way past

when the big hand high-fives
the little hand.

So that means you get to make
your own bedtime.

Wait, why can't I go to
the music thing with you?

The music festival?

Uh, you're not old enough.

But I'm old enough
to stay alone?

Yeah! We Googled it.

Only three states
have laws

regarding the minimum age

for a child to be left
home alone --

Illinois, Maryland,
and Oregon.

Everywhere else it's up
to the parents' discretion!

♪♪

Hey. Come on.

What did I tell you
about that?

Pacifiers are for babies,

and that includes
your thumb.

Come on, buddy.

Mom and dad don't get
very many chances to have fun.

So don't ruin this
for us.

♪♪

He's excited!

♪♪

Our cellphone number's on
a piece of paper by the phone,

and the food
should be here soon.

Daddy's gonna put some money
on the counter.

And don't forget
to brush your teeth.

[ Smooches ]Scott: Honey, he'll be fine.
Look at him.

Tonight he's our little boy.

Tomorrow
he'll be our little man.

See you in the morning,
buddy.

♪♪

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

[ Doorbell rings ]

♪♪

I got to go.

Hello.

Are your parents home?

No. It's just me.

Come in.

♪♪

No tip?

That's all they left me.

W-Wait, I have some money
in my luggage.

♪♪

[ Cellphone vibrating ]

Hello?

Hey,
I got the van started.

Warm up your squirting finger

and meet me
at the Beacharoo entrance

on the corner
of Pier Ave and Sullivan.

Got it.

[ Cellphone beeps ]

I got a bunch of money.

My Nana was gonna take me
to the arcade.

Good looking out!

♪♪

[ Door closes ]

♪♪

[ Water running ]

♪♪

Man:
You've found me.

[ Suspenseful music plays
on TV]

[ People screaming]

-[ Growls]
-Aah! Aah!

[ Suspenseful music plays]

[ Gunfire]

♪♪

[ Ticks ]

[ Light clicks ][ Gasps ]

[ Beeps ]

[ Air conditioner humming ]

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

I almost wore
those exact PJs.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Keypad clicking ]

[ Phone ringing ]

Shyrell: You have reached
the desk of Shyrell Vance.

Push 7 to leave a message.

If this is an emergency,
press 8 to reach me on my cell.

[ Cellphone beeps ]

[ Phone ringing]

You got Shyrell.

Hi, I sent in a sample
to you guys

for a paternity test,

and I need to change the address
that I gave you.

You pressed 8
for that?

Sugar,
that's not an emergency.

That's something
that can be handled on Monday,

when I'm not about to watch
"Shark Tank" with my boo.

If your boo
could find the remote.

Okay, no, this is an emergency,
trust me.

If I don't change
the address,

the results will get sent
to a woman

who's really pissed at me
right now,

and -- and she'd
probably tell my fiancé

and it would ruin
my whole life.

She sounds like
a bitch.

Who's a bitch?

What's your name?

Nikki Gooze.

Oh, my gosh,
thank you so much.

You are seriously
saving m--They sent it already.

What?It got put in the mail
yesterday.

What got put in the mail
yesterday.

Shit! Can you just tell me
the results, then?

I cannot tell you the results
over the phone.

Confidentiality laws.

Okay,
but I won't tell on you,

so who's gonna know
you broke any laws?

Have you ever heard
of the government?

The NSA?
Edward Snowman?

Hello, whoever's listening,
I know you're there,

and Shyrell Vance
ain't breaking no laws.

[ Sighs ]

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna go watch rich people
make poor people cry.

No, no, no![ Phone beeps ]

I will trade you a blow job
for a foot rub.

Deal.

But, wait, let me pause it
so Mark Cuban can watch.

[ Rock music playing,
indistinct conversations ]

I think we might be able
to squeeze

a few more squirts
out of this one.

[ Rock music playing
in distance ]

♪♪

♪♪

Thanks.

Woman: He really thought
you were --

-Follow me, man.
-No way, man.

[ Rock music plays ]

Got my last squirt,
buddy.

We should have brought
more sanitizer.

People are way filthier
than last year.

Don't do it.
Do not call him.

What if he's scared?

If he's scared,
he'll call us.

If you call him now,
you're just gonna wake him up.

It's past 9:00 p.m.

The kid passes out
wherever he is.

♪♪

[ Exhales sharply ]That was fun.

Working in large crowds
with sweaty, half-naked people

makes me feel bad
about my life's choices.

I hear you.

Not my favorite weekend
at the beach.

Hey, you want to go
on a road trip?

Sure.
How about the mountains?

♪♪

[ Engine starts ]

[ Engine revs ]

-Whoo! Yeah!
-[ Howls ]

Scott: Party wolf!

♪♪

Oh, it's back.
It's back.

♪♪

Lower.

Higher.

Left.

Lefter.

You're chasing it
all around.

♪♪

Okay.

All good choices.

Please, will you just
listen to me for...

[ Grumbles ]

[ Up-tempo music plays
over speakers]

Jesus!
You're like Lady Pac-Man.

I could go away
for five years, Vivian.

I won't be able
to read my son a bedtime story

for five years.

Well, at least
you'll have something
to look forward to.

All I have to look forward to
in my shitty life

was the arrival
of my new credit card.

And you tried to take that
away from me

so you could buy cute shoes
and look all cute

for your cute, little fiancé

and make your whole cute,
disgusting life better?

Excuse me while I barf
a shit rainbow!

[ Exhales sharply ]

Look, I wasn't trying
to steal your credit card.

[ Sighs ]
Okay?

[ Sighs ]

[ Groans ]

I sent away
for some test results

that I didn't want
Tommy to see,

so I used your address.

I wasn't looking
for your mail.

I was looking for mine.

What kind of
test results?

DNA.

I'm not sure
he's the baby's father.Oh, shit!

I know, so please, just
don't tell him, okay?
don't tell him.

I-I-I-I don't know what I'd do
if the baby's not --

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I'm not gonna say anything.

Really?

Yeah,
I'm all about girl power.

Women's lib, Time's Up,

Pound Me Too --
all that shit.

Look, I'll say whatever you want
to the police

so you don't go to jail.

Oh, my God.

Thank you so much.

Um, and when the DNA test
comes,

just call me
and I'll come pick up, okay?Okay.

Hey, hey, hey.
Hold on a second.

Come on, you can't leave me
hanging like that.

Give me the dirt.

Who else do you think
the father might be?

Oh.
I don't think I should --

Tell your new best friend who is
awesome at keeping secrets?

[ Sighs ]

Bodhi.

♪♪

You had sex with Bodhi?

[ Sighs ] Yeah, I mean,
it was at a party.

There was, like,
lots of drinking.

There was ecstasy
involved.

Uh, did -- did he ever --
did he happen to mention

if you were, like,
his physical type,

or if he was open to, say,
like, I don't know,

like, the exact opposite
of you?

I don't know.

I actually
don't remember much.

Honestly,
I tried to forget about it,

But then I missed my period

and then Tommy walked in on me
taking a pregnancy test.

And then he dropped to one knee
and proposed.

And, you know what?
For all I know, it's his, so...

Tommy: Nikki!

We got
a woman in your section

with, uh, winky emojis
painted on her boobs

asking where
her omelet is.

She's pretty sweaty.

We should get her in and out
while she's still decent.

[ Chuckles nervously ]
Okay. Um, coming, sweetie!

[ Chuckles nervously ]
Thank you so much.

Just let me know
when the results come in, okay?

Yeah.

♪♪

You bet.

♪♪

♪♪

You're sure we're going
in the right direction now?Yeah.

Sorry.

I thought you knew
how to get to the mountains.Nah.

I was just turning every time
I saw a road going uphill.

Kitty cat!

[ Brakes screech ]

♪♪

You're the home-alone kid.

What, from the old movie?

No way.

I just saw a picture of that kid
in a magazine.

He's like 80 now.

Not Mackenzie Clemwich.

This kid was actually
home alone.

What are you doing
in here?

I think I fell asleep

when I was trying to get
my action figure.

My dad must have taken it
with him and dropped it.

That's mine, buddy.

Look, his foot's
all banged up

from where I have him

kick the shit
out of his arch-enemies.

You play
with action figures?

Yeah.

They're cooler
than Hot Wheels

and not as labor-intensive
as Legos.

Eddie: I think we should find
your parents.

Even though
you and I have history

with me delivering you chicken
and such,

if we get pulled over

with a missing child
in the back of our van,

I predict a lot of mayhem,

and quite possibly
some tazing

before the truth surfaces.

♪♪

You're gonna smoke
right now?

It's medicinal.

What I thought
was going to be

a tranquil drive
to the mountains

has developed into
an accidental kidnapping.

I hope this smoke
isn't getting back there.

You're not suddenly hungry
for no reason, are you?

No.

You're a brave little dude
to be out all by yourself.

First time my parents
left me home alone,

I hid under the covers
the whole time.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

We had a water heater
in the basement

that sounded like
a ghost.

[ Wailing ]

Hey, man!

What did
I tell you about

making ghost sounds
when I'm high?

But I like making
ghost sounds,

and you're always high,

which leaves me no window
to make ghost sounds.

Ghosts aren't real.

How do you know?

My dad told me.See?

Even the little boy
knows you're crazy.

[ Wailing ]

[ Wailing ]

[ Both wailing ]

Okay, Mr. Ghost Expert.

What are your views
on Santa Claus?

He comes down the chimney

and leaves you presents
if you're good.

That's bullshit.

Hey, man!

[ Tires screech ]

Can I talk to you outside
for a second?

What are you doing?

You can't tell a kid
there's no Santa Claus.

Okay, first of all,
I'm high.

You have to take that
into account

when judging my behavior.

Fair enough.

And second of all,

you guys were
ganging up on me.

My back
was against the wall.That's true.

We were ganging up on you.
That's my bad.

Let me hit that.

♪♪

[ Holding breath ]
I just want you

to get over
your fear of ghosts

so you don't have to sleep
with the dome light on.

We can't keep jump-starting
the car every morning.

♪♪

[ Door squeaks ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Phone keys clicking ]

Bodhi: Kid?

Where are you?

Hope he's not doing
something bad

now that he knows Santa Claus
isn't watching.

If his parents
are religious,

he still has
all the Jesus bullshit

to keep him on the straight
and narrow for a while.

Wait a second.
There's no Jesus?

At what age
do they tell you that?

[ Door squeaks ]

♪♪

Sam: My name is Sam.

I'm 6 years old.

And tonight
I'm supposed to become a man.

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

My dad says being a man
means a lot of things.

You're not supposed
to suck your thumb

or use a pacifier.

That's mine, buddy.

You're not supposed to play
with action figures.

And you're not
supposed to be scared.

[ Wailing ]
Hey, man!

What did I tell you
about making ghost sounds

when I'm high?

But grown-ups
do all those things.

So maybe my dad was wrong.

[ Video game sounds playing ]

Maybe you can do all that
and still be a man.

Maybe I was already a man.

♪♪

The only thing
I know for sure

is I'm never
going to smoke drugs

'cause they mess up your brain

and make you think
Santa Claus isn't real.

♪♪

See?

Told you he'd be fine.

[ Sniffs ]

He smells a little like weed,
though.

Probably 'cause we left
the window open.

You were right.

I guess it's just
hard for me to accept

my little boy
is growing up.

He sure drew
a lot of pictures.

Such an active imagination.

♪♪

♪ Early morning,
getting ready for school ♪

♪ I was just a baby,
just a teenage fool ♪

♪ Mama, can you help me

♪ Shed me some light?

♪ I'm tired of being lost

♪ Tired of losing the fight

♪ She looked me in the eyes

♪ and she buttoned my sweater

♪ Said,
"Just be yourself, honey ♪

♪ Only better"

♪♪

♪ I bit my lip,
♪ I didn't cry

♪ I walked to class
with my head held high ♪

♪ But, teacher,
my brain's 'bout to bust ♪

♪ You gave me an F-plus

♪♪

[ Splatters ]

♪ She said, "That's life

♪ If you don't like the letter

♪ Just do your best

♪ Only better"

♪♪

♪ There's something wrong

♪ Am I broke? Kid, kid, kid?

Where are you?

♪ I've seen these smiles
on all the other folks ♪

♪ Everyone's laughing,
but I don't get the joke ♪

♪ I wanna be better

♪ Like fine Italian leather

♪ I wanna be better

♪♪

[ Mouthing ]
Oh, Vivian.

Did you do this...

[ Mouthing ]
Sorry, no.

Shit.

♪♪

♪ I wanna be better

[ Cellphone dings ]

♪♪