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♪ There's a place you gotta go ♪
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00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:07,806
♪ For learning all you oughta
know about the facts of life ♪
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00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:09,408
♪ The facts of life ♪
4
00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:11,443
♪ When your books are
what you're there about ♪
5
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:14,012
♪ But looks are
what you care about ♪
6
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,681
♪ The time is right to
learn the facts of life ♪
7
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:20,185
♪ When the world never seems ♪
8
00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:23,688
♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪
9
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,690
♪ It's time you
started finding out ♪
10
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:29,027
♪ What everything is all about ♪
11
00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:31,096
♪ When the boys you
used to hate you date ♪
12
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:34,532
♪ I guess you best
investigate the facts of life ♪
13
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:36,234
♪ You gotta get 'em right ♪
14
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:38,470
♪ The facts of life ♪
15
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♪♪
16
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:46,912
♪ The facts of life ♪
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♪ The facts of life ♪♪
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00:00:54,821 --> 00:00:57,722
Look, Sue Ann, I know
you're my best friend,
19
00:00:57,791 --> 00:01:00,758
and I know you loaned
me your entire allowance...
20
00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:03,362
at well below prime rate,
21
00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,408
but I can't tell you the secret.
22
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:09,034
- Blair, I swear
I won't breathe a word.
- On your mother's life?
23
00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:11,636
Blair, she's only 41.
24
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:15,374
Okay. On your dog's life.
25
00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:18,543
Well, okay. Forgive me, Tiger.
26
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:23,748
I swear on Tiger's life that I won't
say anything. Now what's the secret?
27
00:01:23,818 --> 00:01:28,420
I got you into "The
Group" with me.
28
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:32,190
Oh, fantastic! I was
hoping that's what it was.
29
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:35,527
But Tumpy's coming over to tell you
herself, so you've got to act surprised.
30
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:39,231
Oh, I don't have to act. I
am. Was it hard to get me in?
31
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:42,201
Not after I paid them $5,000.
32
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:44,469
Five thousand dollars?
33
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:49,041
That's the biggest
gyp I... Hi, girls.
34
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:53,378
Uh, I was just looking for
my skate key behind there.
35
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:57,082
Tootie, shoe skates
don't have keys.
36
00:01:57,151 --> 00:02:00,652
No wonder I couldn't find it.
37
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:04,589
Tootie, you don't mind if
we talk privately, do you?
38
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:07,859
- No. Go right ahead.
- Alone?
39
00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:10,728
Okay, I'll leave.
40
00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:16,534
But I'm gonna tell your
dog, Tiger, he's a dead duck.
41
00:02:19,839 --> 00:02:22,085
Now what's this about $5,000?
42
00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:24,742
Naturally, I was kidding.
43
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,679
Why should it be hard to get
a girl like you in The Group?
44
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:32,384
Well, they're all seniors. And aren't
they supposed to be fast and snobby?
45
00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:35,220
No. They're just like me...
46
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:38,390
Warm and understanding.
47
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:41,259
Did you tell them that
I'm kind of square?
48
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:44,897
Sue Ann, you can't
help the way you're built.
49
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:49,601
And that I'm a scholarship
student? Of course.
50
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:53,505
And that I'm from Kansas
City? Are you crazy?
51
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:56,774
Now, we're meeting after dinner
in Tumpy Barksdale's room.
52
00:02:56,843 --> 00:03:00,445
And just don't be shocked,
okay? Shocked? Why?
53
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:05,083
- Shh!
- Blair, every time we see you
lately, you go, "Shh!"
54
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:09,254
Yeah. It's like
eavesdropping on a leaky tire.
55
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:13,391
Since you became a
member of The Group,
56
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:15,393
everything's a big secret.
57
00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:17,462
Let's go.
58
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,931
Now, remember, Blair,
we've got to get back early,
59
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,578
'cause I got to finish that
book report. Okay, okay, okay.
60
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:27,372
Now, I'd put the stereo over here
and the speakers right here. Hi, girls.
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00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,374
I was just telling
Mr. Bradley...
62
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:33,245
how culturally stimulating it would
be to have music in the common room.
63
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,413
Really. Neat.
64
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:40,218
So, if Mr. Bradley would be generous
enough to kick in some matching funds,
65
00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:42,454
we could get ourselves a stereo.
66
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,934
Well, I think we could find
some money in the Arts Fund.
67
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:49,461
- We'll just mark it off
to Music Appreciation.
- Oh, I'd sure appreciate it.
68
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:53,265
But I expect you to play a broad
spectrum of music, not just disco.
69
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:57,235
Oh, of course. Uh, we'll do
our knee bends to Beethoven...
70
00:03:57,303 --> 00:03:59,871
and a few "viggles"
with "Vahgner."
71
00:04:01,175 --> 00:04:03,241
I'll see what I can do.
72
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:05,243
Look, uh, I've got a
parents' conference.
73
00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:08,146
I got to get out of this whistle
and into my sincere suit.
74
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:13,785
Good morning, Mr. Bradley.
You're looking fit. Really.
75
00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:16,888
Thank you, girls.
76
00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:19,924
- Hi, Tumpy, Emily.
- Hi, Mrs. Garrett.
77
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:22,960
Are you sure we can't
lure you over to our dorm?
78
00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:25,463
Really. We could use
some young blood over there.
79
00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:29,901
Oh, well, my blood
thanks you, and I thank you.
80
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:32,170
Really.
81
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:36,908
Sue Ann, I have only one thing
to say to you. You're one of us.
82
00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:41,679
- Are you kidding me? I don't believe it!
- You told her.
83
00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:43,682
It's all right. It's all right.
84
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:46,050
We'll see you tonight. Later.
85
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:52,390
What did you mean before when you
told me not be shocked about The Group?
86
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,626
This should give you a hint.
87
00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:59,798
Blair, lipstick
doesn't shock me.
88
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:02,634
To an outsider, it's lipstick.
89
00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:05,403
To a member of The Group...
90
00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,908
Mari... juana? Shh!
91
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:16,381
- Do you smoke pot?
- No! But everyone
in The Group does.
92
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:21,319
And tonight, we are
part of The Group.
93
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:29,627
Mrs. Garrett, Blair and Sue Ann are
getting ready to go to Tumpy's room,
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00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:32,564
better known as Snob City.
95
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:36,468
Yeah, they said to go ahead and
discuss the new stereo without 'em.
96
00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:39,082
No problem. I'll show them
the stuff in the morning.
97
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:43,908
The man at the stereo store said that the
Yamaguchi system is the state of the art.
98
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:47,779
Look. "The speakers have woofers,
tweeters and mid-range drivers.
99
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:52,917
"The tape deck has a digital pulse-count
detector and a low-distortion power meter.
100
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:57,489
And, of course, the receiver has
ultra-stable, quartz-locked tuning."
101
00:05:57,558 --> 00:06:00,858
Does it play music?
102
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:04,328
I have no idea.
103
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:08,600
Mrs. Garrett, I don't think we
should buy a Yamaguchi stereo.
104
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:13,705
If we don't start buying American products,
our economy is going into the toilet.
105
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:17,174
Delicately put, Molly.
106
00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:20,479
Molly, Yamaguchi is
an American company.
107
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,844
Yeah, they gave it a
Japanese name so people
108
00:06:22,868 --> 00:06:25,083
would have more
confidence in the quality.
109
00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:32,624
We're checking out, Mrs. Garrett.
We'll be back before curfew.
110
00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:36,794
- Toodle-oo.
- I wonder what it's like
to be in The Group.
111
00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:41,065
It's probably like walking
into some snooty country club.
112
00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:46,505
How are you, Tumpy?
Just fine, Poopy.
113
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:49,641
Do you know Bippy
and Dippy and Snitsy?
114
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:53,445
Oh, yes, they're fun people.
115
00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:59,851
How about Kiki and
Mugsy and Poopsi?
116
00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:07,359
It's not really fair to make fun
of other people's names, Tootie!
117
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:13,331
I'm checking out, Mrs. Garrett.
I have an early date with Roger.
118
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,367
I can see you're really
looking forward to it.
119
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,938
I am. I'm absolutely going
out of my mind with excitement.
120
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,943
Well, when you calm down,
maybe you'll tell me what's wrong.
121
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:27,045
Nothing.
122
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,781
I can tell you what's wrong.
123
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:33,852
My sources tell me that Blair
couldn't get Nancy into The Group.
124
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,420
And who are your
sources, Tootie?
125
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:40,458
Lefty and Righty.
126
00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:44,462
Oh, Nancy, there's some
people who only feel important...
127
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:46,709
when they're keeping
other people out.
128
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:48,800
I remember back in my hometown.
129
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:52,337
Oh, there was this bunch of
girls that raised pedigreed poodles.
130
00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:57,141
Well, I wanted so badly
to be a part of their crowd.
131
00:07:57,210 --> 00:08:01,613
But my dog was a mutt, so
they wouldn't even talk to me.
132
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:05,350
- So you never got
into their clique?
- No, but my doggy did.
133
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:16,127
For the next 10 years, there wasn't
one purebred poodle in the county.
134
00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:21,098
I see what you
mean. It is kind of silly.
135
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:25,570
Yeah. Come on, Nancy.
Let's put a flower in your hair.
136
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,874
Okay.
137
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:35,813
Hey, Nat, how about you and me
starting our own exclusive clique?
138
00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:40,151
You and me? You
call that exclusive?
139
00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:44,822
We will be as soon as I
find out all the secret stuff...
140
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,824
the girls in The Group do.
141
00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:50,495
How are you gonna do that?
You'll never get into Tumpy's room.
142
00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:52,897
Oh, yes, I will.
143
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:56,067
It's as simple as one...
144
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:59,271
two, three. What's that?
145
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:03,841
- Their secret knock.
- It's not a secret anymore.
146
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,391
Hi.
147
00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:23,627
And you certainly are.
148
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:27,131
You guys have got
some catching up to do.
149
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,867
It's great to be
part of The Group.
150
00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:33,771
You do grass?
151
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:39,477
No, but I know it
isn't mowing the lawn.
152
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:44,348
Blair, do you have
that joint I gave you?
153
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:48,486
Oh, yeah. Uh, it's right here.
154
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:53,391
- Oh, wait a minute. I see a roach.
- Where? I hate bugs.
155
00:09:55,461 --> 00:09:59,731
No. A roach is what's
left of a joint, dummy.
156
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:04,135
Oh. Sure. That kind of roach.
157
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:07,939
Let's light the bong.
158
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:12,010
Listen, I don't know if I
want to smoke, Tumpy.
159
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:14,579
She's a little scared.
160
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:23,488
Oh, that must be Bitsy.
161
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:32,330
Oh, hey, you're not Bitsy.
162
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:36,033
And I'm not Poopsi
or Snitsy either.
163
00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:40,104
Tootie!
164
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:44,241
So this is how
the other half lives.
165
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,310
You better bolt it up, Tump.
166
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:53,852
- What are you doing here?
- Um, Mrs. Garrett
wants to know...
167
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,888
if you prefer an eight-track or
a cassette player on our stereo.
168
00:10:56,956 --> 00:10:58,890
We're all taking a vote.
169
00:10:58,958 --> 00:11:01,726
That could have waited, Tootie.
170
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,262
Like, I've got a
stereo to sell. Look.
171
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:07,765
Tell old Garrett
it's a steal at $175.
172
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:11,803
Tumpy, you said that was one of
those expensive German stereos,
173
00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:15,072
and your parents
paid $500 for it.
174
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:17,875
Well, what's money
between friends?
175
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:20,378
Does this mean I'm in The Group?
176
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:24,115
No, it means I
need the cash. Okay.
177
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,350
Hey!
178
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:30,287
Isn't this one of these bong
things I've seen at the record store?
179
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,226
What do you hit it
with to make it bong?
180
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:38,830
Hey, she's a riot.
181
00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:40,832
You don't hit it.
182
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,934
It hits you.
183
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:47,906
You put jelly beans
in it. Oh, come on.
184
00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:50,742
Let's show her
what it really does.
185
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,743
She's too young for that.
186
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:55,213
To burn jelly beans?
187
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:59,050
Good-bye, Tootie.
188
00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:01,452
Sheesh!
189
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,687
I'm out before I'm in.
190
00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:07,091
I'm goin'.
191
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:12,663
Tumpy, what's wrong with you?
192
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,499
You don't offer a
kid Tootie's age pot.
193
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,702
Oh, hey, I was just kidding.
194
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:22,373
Sue Ann, you are
gonna love grass.
195
00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:25,376
You know what's
great about turning on?
196
00:12:25,444 --> 00:12:29,781
Oh, you get these
clear, fully formed,
197
00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:31,849
uh... Thoughts?
198
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:37,788
Yeah, right. And the ideas...
the ideas just seem to...
199
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:40,424
Flow? Mm-hmm.
200
00:12:40,494 --> 00:12:44,896
Really. Pot makes
you so creative. Mmm.
201
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:47,331
Boy, I could stand
to be creative.
202
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,735
I've got this 20-page book report
I have to write on Moby-Dick.
203
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:53,204
Oh! Well, here's your answer.
204
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,709
Not bad.
205
00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:02,313
But with my stereo money, I'm gonna
buy a lid of the best Hawaiian grass. Here.
206
00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:07,852
Uh, I think I'll wait till you get
some of that good Hawaiian stuff.
207
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:11,122
You know me, I
never go second-class.
208
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:15,193
You know what I think?
I think you're chicken.
209
00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:17,661
I'm not chicken.
210
00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:22,233
I just don't feel like getting spaced
out, and... and giggling at stupid jokes,
211
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:25,236
and... and not being
able to finish a thought.
212
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,304
And look at her.
213
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:35,713
She's lost the power of speech.
214
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,083
I'm gonna pass.
215
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,152
Let's go, Sue Ann.
216
00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:43,599
Sue Ann, you don't
have to go anywhere.
217
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,868
You're not Blair's
little puppet. Yeah.
218
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:50,094
We invited you to be one of us because
of you, not 'cause you're Blair's friend.
219
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:54,098
Well, thanks. You sneak, Tumpy.
220
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,868
Flattering Sue Ann just
so she'll smoke with you.
221
00:13:56,936 --> 00:13:59,703
What do you mean, flattering me?
222
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:01,751
You think I'm your puppet?
223
00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:04,943
- I didn't mean that.
- Yes, she did.
224
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,511
You've got a mind of
your own, you know.
225
00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:11,682
- I sure do.
- You're not chicken like Blair.
226
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:15,586
Blair, you'll never know
what you've been missing.
227
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:17,621
Here.
228
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,224
Come on. It's no big deal.
229
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:25,763
You're right. One
time isn't gonna kill me.
230
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:46,195
Mrs. Garrett, Sue Ann's feeling a little
better. She'll be down in a few minutes.
231
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:49,120
Oh, good. Uh, now
back to this instrument.
232
00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:53,190
All those switches. When it
comes to hi-fi, I'm very low-fi.
233
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,006
Ready, Mrs. Garrett? Ready.
234
00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:04,135
I hope this is the...
235
00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:07,972
Oh, I just love Tumpy's stereo,
but I wish it spoke English.
236
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:13,911
That makes sense. "Louder knob."
237
00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:17,748
♪♪
238
00:15:17,816 --> 00:15:20,062
♪♪ There. It works perfectly.
239
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,854
Oh, but now my head doesn't.
240
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:28,125
I can't understand why
Tumpy sold this so cheap.
241
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:32,329
I would never have bought it if she didn't
give us a signed note from her mother.
242
00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:34,331
I hope she didn't forge it.
243
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,834
We only do that
with report cards.
244
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,839
Are you sure you
feel okay, Sue Ann?
245
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:45,409
Yeah. I'll be all right.
246
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:50,581
Hey, listen. The great news is, I finished
my book report last night in 30 minutes.
247
00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:53,184
Twenty pages in 30 minutes?
248
00:15:53,252 --> 00:15:57,421
Yes. And if I do say
so myself, it's brilliant.
249
00:15:57,490 --> 00:16:02,326
Oh, hi, Mrs. Garrett. Oh, hi!
How are you feeling, Sue Ann?
250
00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:04,962
She's feeling brilliant.
251
00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:07,042
Mrs. Garrett, you
know Moby-Dick?
252
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:09,066
Intimately.
253
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:12,503
A whale of a fellow.
254
00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:16,374
Well, I'm really proud
of this book report.
255
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:19,944
- Do you think you could give me
your opinion on it?
- Oh, sure.
256
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,646
Moby-Dick is one
of my favorites.
257
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:28,419
"'The True Meaning of
Moby-Dick, ' by Sue Ann Weaver.
258
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:34,458
"Moby-Dick was a white whale...
259
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:37,861
"with a big tail.
260
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,166
"Captain Ahab was
a... a sea captain...
261
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:44,235
"with one good leg...
262
00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:47,304
and one w-w-wood leg."
263
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,676
It probably gets better.
264
00:16:52,746 --> 00:16:54,912
It couldn't get worse.
265
00:16:56,482 --> 00:17:00,484
"The important thing about
Moby-Dick is the symbolism.
266
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:04,888
"You see, old Moby
wasn't really a whale.
267
00:17:04,958 --> 00:17:10,794
He was a humongous marshmallow
sundae with vanilla ice cream"?
268
00:17:11,965 --> 00:17:14,832
You're wrong, Blair.
It did get worse.
269
00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:19,370
Oh, Sue Ann.
270
00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:21,639
What have you been smoking?
271
00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:27,644
See, I told you she'd
get a kick out of your joke.
272
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,014
I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
273
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:33,595
I guess I'd better get down to
the library and write the real one.
274
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:35,553
Ciao.
275
00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:39,390
Gee, that was a great book
report. Yeah, I'm starved.
276
00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:41,803
Hey, I know, let's go
get a Moby-Dick sundae.
277
00:17:43,962 --> 00:17:48,932
Mrs. Garrett! You should see
what we got at the record store.
278
00:17:49,002 --> 00:17:51,168
Oh? Three bongs.
279
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:54,772
I don't know that group.
Are they punk rock?
280
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:58,376
No, it's not a musical
group. Look here.
281
00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:01,012
♪ Bong ♪
282
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,481
♪ Bong ♪
283
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:05,549
♪ Bong ♪
284
00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:11,955
One for me, one for Natalie,
and we brought one for you too.
285
00:18:14,027 --> 00:18:18,195
Yeah. We're a three-bong family.
286
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:22,399
Girls, do you know
what these are used for?
287
00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:26,237
Sure. You put
jelly beans in 'em.
288
00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:30,707
I'm gonna put root beer in mine.
It comes with a built-in straw.
289
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:39,483
Uh, I don't like to look a
gift bong in the mouth, but...
290
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,752
why did you girls buy these?
291
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,713
Well, we figured that
if we couldn't be in
292
00:18:43,737 --> 00:18:45,789
The Group, at least
we'd have the same stuff.
293
00:18:45,859 --> 00:18:48,003
You mean the girls in
The Group have these?
294
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:51,362
Oh, I don't know about all of them,
but I saw one in Tumpy's room.
295
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:54,932
Tumpy? 0h.
296
00:18:55,001 --> 00:19:00,070
Girls, what people use these
for is smoking marijuana.
297
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,139
Marijuana?
298
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:07,444
Oh, I could wring their necks. How
could they sell this garbage to kids?
299
00:19:07,513 --> 00:19:11,215
- There ought to be a law.
- We didn't know
what it was for.
300
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:14,485
Yeah, but I'm sure that
the girls in The Group did.
301
00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:18,989
Now, girls, not a word about this to
anyone until we talk to Mr. Bradley.
302
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:23,627
Oh, there's gonna be trouble.
303
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:26,564
Make that a double.
304
00:19:31,905 --> 00:19:36,007
Mr. Bradley, this surprise
inspection is an invasion of privacy.
305
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:39,843
Mrs. Garrett, smoking pot is illegal. When
you break the law, you have no privacy.
306
00:19:39,913 --> 00:19:42,947
There must be a more
dignified way of handling this...
307
00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:46,517
- instead of treating
those girls like criminals.
- Yeah, that's right!
308
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:50,053
Mrs. Garrett, this is a serious
situation, and it calls for stern measures.
309
00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:52,223
Tootie, you're next.
310
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:57,328
- One hot plate.
- Which violates
our insurance policy.
311
00:19:57,397 --> 00:20:01,565
- One skillet.
- Which violates the rule
against cooking in rooms.
312
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:06,470
Eight cans of jalapeño bean dip.
313
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,406
Which violates your stomach.
314
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:13,243
- Why do you need
all that bean dip?
- I like to entertain.
315
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:16,780
Hi, everybody.
316
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:20,484
What's going on here?
I'm glad you're back.
317
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:24,121
- We're going to
inspect your room next.
- Why? What are you looking for?
318
00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:26,990
Dope.
319
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:30,261
We found some in Tumpy's room, and
she and her roommates are being expelled.
320
00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:33,564
- That's awful!
- Yeah. I've called
their parents.
321
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:36,900
- They're on their way up here
to bring 'em home.
- It's heartbreaking.
322
00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:38,519
Blair, sorry, but I'm
gonna have to ask you to
323
00:20:38,543 --> 00:20:40,082
dump the contents of
your purse on the table.
324
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:42,640
Why? You don't suspect me?
325
00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:45,643
I don't play favorites.
I suspect everybody.
326
00:20:45,711 --> 00:20:49,380
And you are a member of The Group.
Mrs. Garrett, will you do the honors?
327
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:52,283
If you insist. Blair?
328
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:02,537
Wait a minute, wait a
minute, wait a minute.
329
00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:04,739
Let me see this lipstick.
330
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:07,465
"High Lady"? That doesn't
sound like you, Blair.
331
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:10,367
Oh, that's mine.
I gave it to her.
332
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,536
Thank you, but it's okay.
333
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:16,373
This isn't even lipstick.
334
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,842
A little hiding place inside?
335
00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:24,415
- What do you keep in here?
- Mad money.
336
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:29,953
- It's empty.
- I guess it got angry and left.
337
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:38,262
Girls, I'm sorry to have
had to pull this inspection,
338
00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:41,064
but I'm glad that
all of you passed it.
339
00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:42,992
I just can't believe
that any of our
340
00:21:43,016 --> 00:21:45,369
Eastland girls would
get caught smoking dope.
341
00:21:45,438 --> 00:21:48,905
It's my first expulsion.
Whew! Hope it's my last.
342
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:52,676
Let's put this contraband
into the storage room. Okay.
343
00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:55,379
What should we do with
these bongs, Mrs. Garrett?
344
00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:58,114
I'll take care of
those, Natalie.
345
00:21:58,183 --> 00:22:00,751
I'm going to go back
to the record shop...
346
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:04,822
and show them a new way
of returning merchandise.
347
00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:08,224
And it's going to be painful.
348
00:22:14,067 --> 00:22:17,801
That was a close call. What
made you get rid of that joint?
349
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:20,537
Watching you last night.
350
00:22:20,606 --> 00:22:24,375
From now on, I'm gonna
stick to being high on me.
351
00:22:29,548 --> 00:22:31,482
Me too.
352
00:22:31,551 --> 00:22:35,886
I can't believe I was stupid enough to
smoke pot just to make them like me.
353
00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:37,999
Thanks for trying to
pull me out of there.
354
00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:42,426
And thank you for trying to
cover up for me with the lipstick.
355
00:22:42,495 --> 00:22:45,863
It sure is a tough way for
those girls to learn a lesson,
356
00:22:45,931 --> 00:22:48,765
getting kicked out of school.
357
00:22:48,834 --> 00:22:51,835
Mrs. Garrett, I've never
seen you look so sad.
358
00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:57,307
I'm not sad, I'm mad. I'm
damn mad. Forgive me.
359
00:22:57,376 --> 00:23:02,579
I'm furious that these bright, young
girls should mess up their lives over dope.
360
00:23:02,648 --> 00:23:05,449
And if I ever catch any of you
doing anything as stupid as that,
361
00:23:05,518 --> 00:23:08,485
I'm gonna... You
won't. For sure.
362
00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:12,889
Blair, from now on, make sure
your lipsticks have lipstick in 'em.
363
00:23:12,958 --> 00:23:16,226
Right, Mrs. Garrett.
364
00:23:16,294 --> 00:23:20,297
Gee, I've got all these jelly
beans and no where to put them.
365
00:23:20,366 --> 00:23:23,734
Oh, we'll find a place.
366
00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:28,572
Well, at least our group
is back together again.
367
00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:31,408
- Right.
- Give me some.
368
00:23:43,956 --> 00:23:45,922
♪ When the boys you
used to hate you date ♪
369
00:23:45,991 --> 00:23:48,125
♪ I guess you best investigate ♪
370
00:23:48,193 --> 00:23:51,061
♪ The facts of life
The facts of life ♪
371
00:23:51,129 --> 00:23:52,929
♪ If you hear 'em
from your brother ♪
372
00:23:52,998 --> 00:23:54,932
♪ Better clear 'em
with your mother ♪
373
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,601
♪ Gotta get 'em
right The facts of life ♪
374
00:23:57,670 --> 00:24:02,039
♪ When the world never seems ♪
375
00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:05,075
♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪
376
00:24:05,144 --> 00:24:07,178
♪ It's time you
started finding out ♪
377
00:24:07,246 --> 00:24:09,313
♪ The facts of
life are all about ♪
378
00:24:09,382 --> 00:24:13,851
♪ You ♪♪
29153
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