All language subtitles for Resident Alien_S01E09_Welcome Aliens.English (CC)

[Asta] Previously on
Resident Alien…

[David] I think this alien
is here to kill everybody.

[Alien Harry] You will
help me find my device.

That's on the glacier.
You can't go there.

Harry, don't go! It's too dangerous.

-Not for me.
-[Max] Harry!

-[Lisa] You have kids?
-We have a little boy named Max.

Max.

You should take my number.
Call anytime.

[Alien Harry] When I find my device,
I can finally kill them all.

[Asta] Harry.

Don't move.

[all screaming]

I am what your people
call an extraterrestrial.

-Oh…
-An alien.

Oh, I feel nauseous.

You earn respect
through your actions, Deputy.

Did you make
your own murder board?

Toxicology results.
Sam was poisoned.

You don't respect me,
and you never have.

I quit.

[D'Arcy] I'm not quitting.
I'm gonna get us out of here.

[grunts]

-[Asta] Tell me how to help you.
-My leg.

I will die if you don't chop it off.

Okay, look at me.
I won't let you die.

[Alien Harry screaming]

[grunts]

Do my feet look like watermelons?

'Cause they feel like it.

Sexiest watermelons I've ever seen.

Still so much to do before
Jack or Joanie comes.

We need crib sheets
and burp cloths.

-Couples massage.
-[laughs]

So where do we stand
on baby food?

-Jarred or homemade?
-[train creaks]

I don't know.
I read somewhere homemade

doesn't keep as well.
A little too lumpy.

Plus, I've tried baby applesauce,

and it's freakin' delicious.

[laughs]

[electrical whirring]

What's happening?

I don't know.

[gasps]

[gasps] Oh, my God.

Honey!

[metallic creaking]

-[liquid splashing]
-[gasps]

Honey, the baby.

Uh… Oh.

[grunting]

You saw that, right?

[passengers murmuring]

[gasps]

[screaming]

[theme music playing]

[Alien Harry] I'm dead.

But if I'm dead, why do I feel
so warm and squishy

like I'm being hugged
by a cloud?

Oh, no.

This must be the afterlife.

I'm in human heaven.

It makes me want to kill myself.

I see the morphine
is still working.

[Alien Harry]
What are you doing here?

Why does the afterlife
look like a crappy cabin?

Are you dead too?

I didn't want to leave you alone
after what you'd been through.

Come on. You need to eat
just so you can get your strength back.

[groans]

Mmm.

Now I know why you have
17 gallons of milk in your fridge.

Okay, I need to change
your dressing.

Um…

I think we should, you know,
try to avoid suspicion.

So I started looking into
getting you a prosthetic. I know…

What the freakin' hell is that?

That is my leg.

It's regenerating.

How is that even possible?

My people are descendants
of octopuses.

Soon it will grow longer,

and then I will transform
the molecules into human shape.

So you're telling me
eventually that thing

will look like that one?

Yes. Except for the mole
and the hangnail.

I chewed my toenail down too low.

You can go now.

Excuse me?

[grunting]

I stayed up all night.

I got supplies.
I dressed your wounds.

I cleaned you up,
and this is how you thank me?

I didn't ask you to stay.

Well, I did.

'Cause that's what humans do.

They take care of one another.

You know, when some…

I'm sorry, I can't take you
seriously with that thing.

What is wrong with it?
It's perfectly normal.

Jesus, can you just
put a sock on it?

It likes the fresh air.

Also, it's not a thing.
It is a leg.

You are leg-shaming me.

Be careful with that.

No. Please be careful.

Do not press the black button.

I'm not ready to radio
my people yet.

-This black button?
-[stammering]

Asta.

-Say thank you.
-Thank you.

Oh!

Thank you.

You're welcome.

-[sighs]
-Please do not move.

I'm going to work,
and I'll be back later.

[Alien Harry] If all goes as planned,
there won't be a "later."

Yes.

Later.

Shit!

[phone vibrating]

I knew it.

Why are you ignoring my calls?

Um, I'm sorry.
I've just been so busy.

Ooh.

'Cause last night,
you sent me inside to get help,

and when I came back out,
you and Harry were gone, so…

Yeah, uh, sorry.
Harry was in bad shape.

And I realized
we didn't have an MRI machine.

So I took him to the hospital
in Braddock.

What?

I know you too well. You're lying.

-I am not.
-[scoffs]

Yeah, you are. You have a tell.

Oh, really? What's my tell?

I can't tell you
because then you'd know

what the tell is and you'd hide
the tell from me,

and I wouldn't be able to tell.

Wow, you ever thought
about working for the CIA?

Yeah, actually,
I'm waiting to hear back.

Hey, Asta.

The doctor had me call Braddock
to follow up on Harry's MRI.

But they have no record of it.

That's a mistake.
So I'll take care of it. Thank you.

Why is she staring at you like that?

What did you do?

Don't you have better things
to do, Ellen?

Maybe unpack the catheters
that came in this morning?

Oh, right. The fun stuff.

Got my eye on you, Twelvetrees.

[Alien Harry]
The power source is damaged.

Built to provide energy for 5,000 years

but apparently not built to withstand
an unprotected fall into a crevasse.

Certain alien races implant
tiny transmitters

into human beings
to monitor their activity.

If I can find one of those,

I can reverse-engineer it
to reboot my device.

[knocking at door]

[knocking continues]

Aah! [groans]

Yeah.

[grunts]

I heard you fell down a crevasse.

Did you find your radio?

My radio is broken.
I'm trying to fix it.

Well, maybe I can help.

-[grunts]
-Is this it?

Don't touch that.

You need… [sighs]

…to leave.

At least you're okay.

If Asta wasn't there,

I would be dead.

Except now she knows
the truth about me.

You told her?

I thought this whole alien thing
was just our secret.

It stopped being a secret

when you told
your little friend over there

in the head covering.

She must have followed me.

Don't worry.
She's not gonna tell anyone.

She swore to Allah.

Allah knows?

How many people have you told?

Are you trying to cut me out?

'Cause if it wasn't for me,
you'd be in Georgia by now.

I made this truce happen.
I want in.

You are so pushy.

Oh.

Looks like aliens are also put off
by strong women.

Get used to it.
We're not going anywhere.

-What are you hiding under there?
-I covered it for a reason.

It's his radio
so he can contact his people.

But it's broken.
So he's trying to fix it.

[grunts]

Why can't you just go home
on your spaceship?

They took it, didn't they?

How did you know that?

Must be the government.
That means they're after you.

It could be any of the agencies.

But it's probably Men in Black.

It's a top-secret agency
that monitors alien activity on Earth.

But they don't always wear black,
and they're not only men.

Then why do they call them
"Men in Black"?

'Cause it's cooler than calling them
"People in Clothes."

-[grunts]
-It's pretty obvious.

I'm not worried.

Once I fix my radio,

they won't be a problem.

I'm just missing a part.

Have you tried the hardware store?
They have everything.

My dad even bought
a pair of pajamas there.

Unless you know someone
who has been in contact

with other aliens, then I'm…

What is the expression?

"Shit out of luck."
[chuckles]

If you don't stop using that
kind of language around us,

we're gonna wash
your mouth out with soap.

Go ahead. I like soap.

I eat it all the time.

Shit, ass, piss, dink.

Where is the soap?
I'm so hungry.

Wait, I know where you can go
to find alien stuff.

Oh.

Hey. Where are you going?

I need to go pick up
a missing piece for my radio.

No. You are not driving with one leg.

Whoa!

Your leg grew back.

Just like I said it would.

Now I have got to go.

Okay. Even as a pretend doctor,
you have to know

that the medication
still stays in your system.

I just took more. I'll be fine.

Which one is my truck?

Okay.

Give me these.

I will drive you.

Where are we going?

Wow. We're really gonna do this.

[indistinct chatter]

-[Asta] Eh…
-[Harry] Are they supposed to be me?

My people are not a costume.

Welcome to my life.

Oh, this is gonna be fun.

Kind of cool that I'm here
with an actual alien.

I feel special.

You're not special. You're common.

That's oddly less offensive now that
I know you're from outer space.

[indistinct chatter]

-Here you go.
-Thank you.

Okay. So what now?

[classic rock song playing]

[man over mic]
Our ancestors had teachers.

The engineering knowledge came
from the extraterrestrials.

Finally, a little credit.

I like this high-haired gentleman.

♪ He's told us not to blow it ♪

♪ 'Cause he knows
It's all worthwhile ♪

♪ He told me
Let the children lose it… ♪

The Moon landing was a sham.

It was all filmed
on a soundstage by Kubrick.

The astronauts did land
on the Moon.

Good.

And their bodies were taken over
before they returned.

What?

[man 2] And we find evidence of this
all around the world.

Mayans, everyone talks
about their calendar,

but they never gave credit
for their day planner.

-We have the Grays.
-Insidious assholes.

-The Arcturians.
-Jerks, so cheap.

Little Green Men.

They are cute, but they so know it.

-The Mantis.
-One of them owes me money.

And the Blue Avians.

They're actually very nice.

[indistinct conversation]

Well, don't you two look cozy?

Hello, Sheriff.

Do you have anything
you want to say to me?

Well, I don't know.

Do you have anything
you want to say to me?

In that case, yes.

Have a good day.

Goodbye, Lewis.
I'll see you on Thursday.

[music playing on speakers]

Thursday.

What's Thursday?

We're having lunch.

She's sitting here
probably trash-talking me,

and you buying her lunch?
I see how it is.

She didn't say anything.

In fact, she mostly listened.
You could use that.

What is that supposed to mean?

Your relationship with Liv
reminds me of me and your mom

before she up and left me.

You mean when she died?

I'll never forgive her for that.

Your mother was sharp.
She always challenged me.

When I messed up,
she wouldn't let me off the hook

until I took steps to fix it.

You might want to think about that one.

Order me a burger. Be right back.

-Oh.
-Hey, hey, hey. Dad, Dad.

Hey, hey! It's okay to ask for help.

Look who's talking.

[country song playing]

♪ If you think
What you got is enough ♪

♪ Then God gonna call your bluff ♪

♪ You got a long road ahead ♪

♪ Longer than you think ♪

♪ A long road ahead ♪

[Liv] Sam's toxicology results are in.

Botulinum Toxin A
levels are through the roof.

Sam was poisoned.

Maybe with insulin
as the method of delivery,

all he or she would need to do
is inject the toxin

into a single insulin vial

and wait for Sam to use it.

♪ Ooh… ♪

Son of a bitch.

♪ Wake up in the morning ♪

♪ Rise and shine ♪

♪ Wake up in the morning
Rise and shine ♪

♪ Wake up in the morning
Rise and shine… ♪

Hey, Sheriff, have a seat.
I'll be with you in about ten.

Yeah, well, I ain't here
on grooming business.

I'm here on official sheriff's business.

I see you do Botox injections.

Yeah.

You'll need about 20 units
for that furrowed brow.

Well, I got news for you.

I like to furrow, and I like the lines.

Abigail Hodges, you're under arrest
for the murder of Sam Hodges.

What? What are you talking about?

I'll tell you what I'm talking about.

I went through your phone records,
and I found repeated calls,

and I mean a shit ton of them,
to one number.

You know who it belonged to?

Thomas Hoffman.

[whispers] Okay, fine.
We are casually seeing each other.

But are you gonna arrest me for having
a social life? Can't a widow move on?

Of course, a widow can move on.
The only problem is those calls,

they started way before Sam died.

I think you wanted to get rid of Sam

'cause you was having an affair.
That's motive.

Oh, now just hang on a second…

All you needed
was high levels of botulism,

which you clearly had access to.

Then you took that poison,
and you put it in Sam's insulin bottle.

And from there,
it was a ticking timebomb

just waiting to go off.
And it finally did.

-Turn around and put your hands behind--
-Sheriff.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be used
against you in a court of law.

You got the right to an attorney.
If you cannot afford an attorney,

I'd be surprised because
this salon is bangin'.

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

What is it you're looking for
at an alien experiencer panel?

I'll know when I see it.

-[cheers and applause]
-[rock music playing]

Thank you. Hi, I'm Peter Bach.

Most of you know me from my podcast
as "The Alien Tracker."

I have spent 15 years

working at the Carl Sagan Center
at SETI.

I've been a government consultant.

And if you've read my books,
you'll know I possess

a special skill set
that makes aliens fear me.

And, of course, I had my own encounter,

which was, well,

terrifying to say the least.

So it's my honest belief
that aliens walk amongst us.

And my mission has become
to find aliens,

to trap them,

and, well…

-One shot of this…
-[electricity crackles]

Ten thousand volts,
I can knock out an elephant.

-You okay?
-Yes.

I'm not an elephant.

[Peter] I also found that talking
about my encounter

helped me feel a sense of control.

And I'd like you to think
of this as a safe forum

where you can do the same.

So please, come on up
and share with the room

with no judgment,

so we can all hear
about your experiences.

I was driving home late one night

when this blue light

beamed through the roof of my car.

I woke with these triangular cuts.

I was paralyzed.

And lesions on my stomach
and across my back.

It was horrible.

Um…

It's etched on my brain forever.

They strapped me
to this cold, hard metal surface.

-They're monsters.
-And…

And they are here to kill us.

…took this long tubular rod

and they put it in my…

-[sobs]
-[audience murmuring]

He was going to say his asshole.

[Asta] One night, a few months ago,

my ex-husband and I were fighting,

which is sort of a usual thing for us.

Um…

I finally decided I'd had enough,
so I ran out,

but I wasn't sure
if I was doing the right thing.

And then I saw it.

It was a fire in the sky,

like a guiding light.

It gave me strength.

Strength to move on
and never look back.

Months later, I came into contact

with who I now know
was the occupant of that UFO.

[audience murmuring]

Something about him
made me feel safe.

And not alone.

And I know that that's not
what you all have experienced.

But trust me,

based on my encounter,

I don't think they're monsters.

I think some of them are here to do good.

[applause]

[Alien Harry] Nope!

[Ben] Wow.

Abigail Hodges.

-Who would have thought?
-Heh.

Well, congratulations on solving the case.
You must be happy.

Yeah, well, you know, a man died.

So there isn't very much
to be happy about.

Of course. I just meant…

Well, you did use up
a lot of resources dragging the lake.

Like, a tremendous amount, actually,

that I'm still trying to justify
to the town council.

Probably can't afford
to have Patience Family Day

this year on the town green.

But, hey, you got to the bottom it.

-Uh-huh.
-That's what's important.

That's right.
That's what's important. Thank you.

[sighs]

-Okay.
-Yeah.

Hello to you, Jay.
What can I get for you?

We have a happy hour special on IPAs.

Are you offering me a drink?
I'm not even 18 yet.

I meant to offer you a juice
in an opaque mug.

Well, actually, I just came in to ask

if I could interview you
for the school paper.

Everyone in town
is talking about the rescue.

[groans]

I'm so sick of people
making a big deal about this.

You don't have to put me
on a pedestal.

It won't take long, and I'm only doing it
for the extra credit.

Oh, well, in that case…

Thanks. It's only a few questions.

-Ask away.
-All right. [clears throat]

So, you were an Olympic skier.

What was it like to wipe out and lose
in front of the whole world?

Not awesome.

Would you consider
yourself a fallen hero

because you were a hero
and then you fell?

Hmm. Mmm.

Um, I don't know.
I thought this interview

was supposed to be
about the rescue thing.

-I'm establishing background.
-Cool.

So what happened to your hand?

Fractured it. First time I fell
down the crevasse.

You fell down a crevasse?

Yeah. What did you think happened?

I don't know. I thought you were stuck
on top of the mountain.

You climbed out
with your hand looking like that?

Well, yeah. Kind of had to.

I was 30 feet down.

Asta and Harry
were down even further.

I knew any rescue effort would have
to wait until the storm had passed,

at which point, it would be too late

as we would have all gone
into hypothermia

and be dead.

Asta could have died?

Yeah. She could have.

I mean, we all could have died, actually.

We're pretty lucky.

You know what, I, um,

I think I'll take that juice
in the opaque mug now.

You bitch. I almost lost you.

-[crying]
-Ow. Oh.

Oh, I'm okay.

[Judy groans] I just feel like…

You should probably buy me a drink
or something 'cause I'm like… Ugh.

My nerves are like fried eggs.

[D'Arcy] We're gonna do two sodas.

One with vodka.

When I woke up,
I had no idea where I was.

I mean, one minute, I was in bed,

and the next minute,

I was lying in a ditch
by the side of the road.

-And they put something in me.
-[audience gasps]

Look.

I don't know why,
but they're following me.

They're listening.

Look, you can see it.

[Alien Harry] Alien technology.
That's it.

-Hey, honey.
-Hi.

-Why do I smell fish?
-Because I made branzino.

Tonight's supposed to be taco night.

Does that mean that tacos
are moving to tomorrow night?

Because that's spaghetti.

Will you relax, just try to
get out of your comfort zone?

Yeah, but--

Max is at the movies with Sahar.

So I invited a friend over
with her husband.

[sighs]

I want you to meet them.
You're gonna love them.

Yep. Maybe we could do fish tacos.

This is my husband, Ben.

Ben, this is Sarah and Richard Houston.

Oh, come on. We're friends.

You can call him Dick.

Well, we're having fish.

[Peter] I want to thank you all
for coming and for sharing.

Come down and visit me.

We have a booth on the con floor.

A lot of cool merchandise.
Thank you.

[audience cheering]

Excuse me.

Wait. Harry, where are you going?

[indistinct chatter]

[man] Alien Tracker, hold up.

[woman 1] Alien Tracker!

[woman 2] Can I get an autograph?

I'm sorry. Excuse me.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[woman] Yeah. You're welcome.

-[camera shutter clicks]
-[chuckles]

Uh, sorry. It's my turn.

Do you mind?

I'm going to cut that alien technology
out of your arm,

and then I'm going to leave.

-[gasps]
-[shutter clicks]

-Aah! What the hell?
-Shh. Quiet.

[both straining]

-Aah! it's not alien. It's a BB.
-What?

A BB got lodged in my arm
when I was a kid.

-Okay, I lied.
-What is wrong with you?

You're the one with the knife,

-you freakin' psycho. [grunts]
-[groans]

Ugh!

[moaning]

What the hell is going on?

What are you looking for?
And don't lie.

I think I deserve at least that.

When the Grays abduct a human,

they leave alien technology
implanted on their body.

It is a transmitter.

It is a way for them
to track the victim.

I need to find one.

Is that why we're here?

So you can rip an implant
out of some poor person's arm?

It's for my radio.

The implant is made of an alien metal.

I need it.

[indistinct chatter]

The Alien Tracker is after me.

He can see me like Max.

-[Asta] I don't understand.
-The rest is self-explanatory.

His name is Alien Tracker.

-Maybe we should go then.
-Yes.

[Kate] It was… I mean, he designed
the whole thing himself,

the whole thing.
He made it all on his own.

Oh, I'm so sad.
I thought Max was gonna be here tonight.

We're so looking forward to meeting him.

Right, honey?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I love kids.

We want them, but the doctor said
Sarah's probably too old.

I'm sorry. I'm sure that
it will happen for you two.

-[laughs]
-Meanwhile, enjoy the freedom,

'cause kids are a lot.

-[laughs]
-Mmm.

That's why it's so nice
having some adult time.

Right, honey?

Fun fact, more people die

choking on branzino bones per year
than heart disease.

Honey, could you help me with dessert?

Sweetie, you haven't said
two words all night.

I'm pulling all of the weight here.

Well, I'm sorry. I think not having tacos
has kind of thrown me off my game.

Look, I'm trying.

You spent the last half hour playing
medical examiner with your fish bones.

Well, if it makes you feel any better,
I swallowed most of them.

Uh, it doesn't make me feel better.

Okay. I feel terrible.

[sighs] I really like Sarah and Dick.

And it's nice to have couple friends
who we can have over for dinner.

Can you try?

[sighs] Okay.
Look, I'll be more sociable.

I'll talk to Dick about candle making.

Yeah, sure.

Or something else.

What? You don't… What?
You don't like my candles?

No, I mean, of course I love them.

It's just,

it's not really exciting
dinner conversation.

Hmm.

Not sure I want to live
in that world, but okay.

Just leave the baby talk to me, okay?
I'm the mother-to-be.

That's not what the doctor said.

Hey, listen, asshole.
Just do your job.

Keep them engaged
so I can go on a reconnaissance mission.

I did an Internet deep dive
and found pictures of Ben

making these shitty candles.
Ask him about it.

[Kate] Hope everyone's
in the mood for pie.

[Lisa] Oh. Can't wait.

-May I use your powder room first?
-Of course.

I have to say, these are really,
really nice candles.

What are they made of? Soy?

Uh, well, actually, there are…

Yeah, there are
several different kinds of, um…

Not sure. I don't know.

Uh, just a regular store-bought candle.

[Ben clears throat]

[indistinct chatter]

Mmm.

-Uh…
-Okay, um, keep moving.

I got this.

Oh, my God. You're the Alien Tracker.

I have listened to every episode
of your podcast.

I was wondering if maybe
I could get a selfie with you.

And this crazy dude came in
and tried to stab me with a scalpel.

Why are you just staring at me?
Are you gonna help me?

Can we just go look for him?

I'm not crazy.

-Hmm, hmm, hmm.
-Hey, can I help you?

I need to hide. Can you leave?

What are you hiding from?

The Alien Tracker. He's chasing me.

He thinks I'm an alien.
[laughs awkwardly]

Um… He's a crazy guy.

Well, I have no problem hiding aliens.

Wait a minute.

You are that hair guy,

the one who knows
all about ancient monuments.

Yeah, that's me.
Would you like a signed copy?

I would rather have flower-shaped fruit.

[door creaks]

Hey, what are you doing up here?

I know. I'm such a snoop, right?
I just love your decorating style.

I had to see what the rest
of the house looked like.

You could have asked for a tour.

I'll be honest with you.

This whole "not being able to have kids"
thing is really hard.

And I just wanted
to see your son's room.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Just don't give up.

Women are having babies
older and older now.

You just never know.

I'm actually not the problem.

Dick only said that
because he's so self-conscious.

But he has very low motility.

Look, if you want to get a taste for it,

you can babysit Max
whenever you want.

Oh, I would love that.

I'll take such good care of him.

What's interesting is that
the masonry style of Delphi, Cuzco,

or Sacsayhuaman are virtually identical,

and they're considered
"navels of the world"

where deities descended from the sky

and imparted knowledge
to the local population.

So those places
are on two opposite ends of the planet,

and they have the same stories.

So you have to wonder
if these people had been visited

by the same beings.

And if so, then you have
to ask the question,

"Who were they
and where did they come from?"

-You should be on television.
-Okay.

-I have to go.
-I hope I didn't bore you.

No.

You're out of fruit flowers.

I left you the honeydew melon.

They taste like old women's perfume.

Kate doesn't love the whole candle thing?

I accidentally spilled
some wax on her head once.

She lost some hair.

-Yeah.
-What are you gonna do?

Yeah, I get it. You know,
Sarah can get pretty particular

about the things I do too.

-Mmm-hmm.
-So yeah.

Very passionate, very passionate ladies.

Oh, that's one word for it.

[laughs]

Want to fire it up?
Show you how it's done.

-Yes, yes.
-You sure?

-Please, yeah, yeah. Oh!
-Oh.

-Oh.
-Oh!

-Oh.
-Okay.

[beeping]

[machine whirs]

[sighs] I just find it pretty relaxing.

Yeah.

Helps me cope
with the pressures of being mayor,

especially after
the town doctor was murdered.

-That's horrible.
-Yeah, yeah.

We did just make an arrest though.

And it was the first murder in Patience
since, like, the 1800s.

I've always wanted to say, you know,

"Not on my watch, buddy."

But, yeah, it was on my watch.

Think I might have been
across the street when it happened.

Uh…

Do you like pumpkin spice?

-[rock music playing]
-[indistinct chatter]

Mmm. That was close.

It's like everybody is talking
about me like I'm some big hero…

♪ Close to you… ♪

Except for the two people
whose lives I actually saved

that incidentally are both
completely ignoring me.

♪ Close to you… ♪

I should be hanging out
with my friend right now.

Bitch, I'm your friend.
We're closer than you and Asta.

We shared a boyfriend in high school.

You mean the guy that
you slept with behind my back?

I grabbed his dick, and he was into it.

So what am I supposed to do, say "no"?

Oh, yeah. Fair point.

[scoffs]

It just, like, bothers me
I can't get ahold of them.

I've been texting all day.

I don't know.
Maybe something happened to her.

Maybe they're not okay. I don't know.
It's kind of freaking me out.

Yeah, probably something bad
did happen to her.

I don't know.
She probably got kidnapped

or something, or, like,
people are after her

and, like, she's in
the back of a car, like, in a trunk,

like, screaming and, like,
pounding and, like…

Or she could be dead.

She could be dead
in a ditch somewhere, like,

covered in blood and, like,
intestines are, like, trailing out…

Is this supposed to help me feel better?

Okay. So we're gonna
switch gears over to karaoke.

First up, we have our own Liv Baker
singing a song for us.

-[cheers and applause]
-Come on.

[slow song playing]

[singing]
♪ Oh, whoa ♪

♪ It must have been cold there
In my shadow ♪

♪ To never have sunlight
On your face ♪

♪ You were content
To let me shine ♪

♪ That's your way ♪

♪ You always walked a step behind ♪

♪ So I was the one
With all the glory ♪

What the hell is happening?

♪ While you were the one
With all the strength ♪

♪ A beautiful face
Without a name for so long ♪

♪ A beautiful smile
That hides the pain ♪

♪ Did you ever know
That you're my hero? ♪

♪ And everything
I would like to be? ♪

♪ I can fly higher than an eagle ♪

♪ You are the wind
Beneath my wings ♪

Okay.

[cheers and applause]

Guess I'm deputy again.

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, shit.

I first learned the concept
of two for one

when there was a sale
on day-old baguettes at the market.

[both grunting]

But having this Alien Tracker
in my grips

and discovering he was implanted
with the very chip I need

is even more exciting than
getting an extra two-foot-long crouton.

Don't move.

I'm taking that alien technology
out of your neck.

No, wait.
Where is my baby?

What baby?

The one you took out of my wife
30 years ago on the bus.

We don't do that. That's the Grays.

You're a Gray.

-How dare you!
-Please don't take it out.

It's the only way they can find me
if they come back.

It's the only way I'll ever meet my son.

They're not coming back for you.

They already got what they wanted.

[indistinct chatter]

I recognize you.

You were in that Experiencer Panel.

Mmm, yeah.

I heard what you said up there.

It was very touching.
But you should be careful.

-What do you mean?
-For all you know,

your alien is a Christopher Columbus
of the sky.

[computer dings]

[sighs]

Let's go. I got what I needed.

Well, that makes me nervous.

Don't worry. I didn't hurt him.

He was on his knees, thanking me.

-You're a monster.
-You're welcome.

[scoffs]

[Alien Harry] There are no monsters.

Beings do what needs to be done
in order to survive.

[knocking]

Asta!

[alternative rock song playing]

♪ No bye, no aloha… ♪

Are you in there?

♪ Gone with a rock promoter ♪

♪ A rock promoter… ♪

Aah! [grunts]

Ow, shit!

♪ And now may die ♪

♪ Oh, the treats ♪

♪ Saw it on the wall ♪

♪ Motherhood means mental freeze ♪

♪ Freezeheads ♪

♪ No aloha ♪

♪ I know, I saw ♪

♪ And now may die ♪

[screams]

[upbeat music playing]