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1
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:10,385
♪♪
2
00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,055
Edward.
3
00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,682
Nell: Edward.
4
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,768
Edward, you’ve been
in there forever.
5
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:20,062
I want my robe!
6
00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:22,022
Or at least the gummy bears
in the pocket?
7
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:26,777
Edward.
Come on, come on.
8
00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:32,115
You always say that.
9
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,201
Ah! Forget it,
I'll grab my sweater.
10
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,203
♪♪
11
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:43,585
♪♪
12
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:46,004
Whoa, that was fast.
13
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,005
Thank you.
14
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:48,131
Hmm.
15
00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,343
You should really watch
your sugar intake.
16
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,011
It’s addictive as cocaine.
17
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:54,763
Some studies say
ten times as much.
18
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,640
Oh, come on.
Seriously?
19
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,892
Yep. It stimulates the nucleus
accumbens in the brain.
20
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,436
No, this cashew chicken
was supposed to be my breakfast.
21
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:03,397
I question your definition
of breakfast, then.
22
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,399
I question why you would eat
my leftovers
23
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,526
and just leave three cashews at
the bottom with a dirty fork.
24
00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:10,696
Firstly, I would never
do something that unhygienic.
Mm.
25
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:13,240
And secondly,
I have a major problem
26
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,409
with the cashew industry's
farming policies,
27
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,704
so I would never take cashews
so lightly as to discard them.
28
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:23,000
Well, someone took my cashews
lightly, and it wasn’t me.
29
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,127
Did your secret lover
eat my food?
30
00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,212
No, we don’t have time
to eat, if you catch my drift.
31
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,964
Eww.
Maybe you ate it.
32
00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:31,091
Me?
You know,
sleep eating is more common
33
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:34,136
than you would think,
and you are susceptible to it.
34
00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:35,095
Do you remember
the time you woke up
35
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,638
and you had knitted
part of a scarf?
36
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,932
I do.
37
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,058
I don't even know
how to knit.
38
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:42,144
But you do know
how to eat.
39
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:44,062
Oh, God.
40
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:47,149
-- Captions by VITAC --
41
00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:52,154
♪♪
42
00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:53,905
It’s upsetting,
and it’s misleading.
43
00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:56,116
Come on. Are you guys looking
at my Tinder profile again?
44
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,952
No, no, no, no, no.
Lexi’s dad has instituted a new
45
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,704
"if it bleeds,
it leads" policy
46
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,956
to try to get more eyeballs
on the paper.
47
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:06,752
Tina has been tasked with
making our headlines "spicier."
48
00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:09,713
Hey, Tina, tell them
what you titled my piece
49
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,256
about the panda
being born at the zoo.
50
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:13,842
"Eight-year-old
gives birth in public."
51
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,510
Oh, God, I gotta go talk
to her before she turns
52
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,596
my Easter edition
into a zombie apocalypse.
53
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,806
Mnh.
Tina!
54
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,725
Let’s see if you can spice up
your next obituary assignment.
55
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,853
Uh-huh?
Andrew Michaels,
an accountant who died
56
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,688
after falling down
the stairs in his home.
57
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:28,690
Oh.
Yeah, not even Tina
could make that turd sing.
58
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:31,109
Oh.
Hurtful.
59
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:32,778
Mm.
60
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,738
You know,
I wasn’t merely an accountant.
61
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,740
I was
an IRS special agent.
62
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,408
Yeah, that doesn’t
bleed or lead.
63
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,327
It was more exciting
than you’d think.
64
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,079
I had a gun
and everything.
65
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:44,247
I never used it,
but, yeah, I had it.
Mm.
66
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,083
I carried a badge --
67
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:49,961
Never showed it,
but I carried it.
68
00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:52,589
Oh, so you’re like 007.
Oh.
69
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:55,092
Just, like, without the cars
or the gadgets or the skill
70
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:57,719
or the muscles or the women.
Yeah.
71
00:02:57,719 --> 00:03:01,181
Hey, just because I did my work
from behind my desk
72
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:04,684
as an agent didn’t make my job
any less harrowing.
73
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:07,312
In point of fact, my death
was no accident --
74
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,230
I was murdered.
75
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:10,690
What?!
76
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,609
...are you doing
at work today?
77
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:15,112
I thought you were sick.
We sent soup.
78
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,572
You should go check.
It’s probably at the front door.
79
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:20,534
♪♪
80
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,536
What do you mean,
murdered?
81
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,246
I didn’t fall down
my stairs.
82
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,041
I was pushed.
83
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,627
I caught a glimpse of a shadowy
figure above me
84
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,921
on the landing
as I fell,
85
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,257
and then everything
went black.
86
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:36,508
Then I was talking to you.
Ooh.
87
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,218
Hi.
Hi.
88
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,262
Who would want
to kill you?
89
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:42,973
I don’t know. You know,
I received a lot of threats.
90
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:45,684
Yeah. Turns out people
don’t like being audited.
Mm.
91
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:49,312
Someone once told me
to shove my ass up my own ass.
92
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,856
How would that even work?
Oh, don’t overthink it.
93
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,691
Oh, now I’m stuck on it.
94
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,526
I just can’t even picture it,
so I’m lucky.
95
00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,028
You know what? My editor is
obsessed with splashy headlines.
96
00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,656
If you’re right, this could
land me the front page.
97
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,575
Well, that’s kind
of a self-centered take
98
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:02,993
on my potentially
violent death,
99
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,412
but whatever gets
the job done.
100
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,205
♪♪
101
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,583
♪ Girls night tonight ♪
Oh!
102
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,751
♪ I don’t have the kids,
and I’m really gonna miss them ♪
103
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,378
♪ Also gonna drank ♪
104
00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:15,380
Oh, yeah. I can’t go
to girls night tonight.
105
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,466
♪ Those are not the words
to the song ♪
106
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:21,803
Sam, my latest obit subject
might have been murdered.
107
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,514
And the more I investigate it,
the more I think it’s true.
108
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:28,310
You are not gonna miss
girls night for some murder.
109
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,395
Murder, you say?
Yeah, Nell thinks
110
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,814
that her obituary subject
may have been killed.
111
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,609
Oh! I love true crime.
Tell me everything.
112
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,360
Oh, it’s just a thought,
you know?
113
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,695
Probably not gonna
do anything about it.
114
00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,989
No big deal, right?
Bleh.
115
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,741
Nell, here’s the police
report you needed ASAP...
Oh. Mnh.
116
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,659
...for your
big deal investigation.
117
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,579
Oh, thank you.
118
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:49,331
There’s pictures
of the accident scene in there,
119
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:52,083
and ever since I became a dad,
I cannot handle anything scary.
120
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,126
I know what
will toughen you up.
121
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,461
Phone.
122
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,213
Dennis,
I am assigning you
123
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:59,090
to listen
to a true crime podcast,
124
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:00,884
in part
to try and cure you
125
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,761
of this sudden, strange
aversion to violence,
126
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:05,013
and in part because
I am dying
127
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:07,182
to have someone
to discuss it with.
128
00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:09,810
Narrator: Welcome to
"Death at the Dairy Farm"...
Ah.
129
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,812
...a grisly tale
of blood and milk.
130
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,980
It's "udderly" terrifying.
131
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,690
Uh, Lexi, I’m gonna just
take that police report
and skedaddle.
132
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,735
Nell, I am officially joining
your investigation.
133
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,612
What?
Yeah, it seems like
you could really use my help.
134
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:23,532
You do remember I’m an actual
investigative journalist?
135
00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,116
Well, I’ve listened
to over 4,000 hours
136
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:26,868
of true crime podcasts,
which are very educational.
137
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,495
Well, I went
to journalism school.
138
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,830
Education
is very educational.
139
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,999
Hey! Hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.
140
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,376
So, I think
we’re all losing sight
141
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,336
of what’s really important here,
which is...
142
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,171
♪ Girls night ♪
Girls night?
143
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,215
A night of girls
solving a murder? I’m in.
144
00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:42,467
No, like, less ski masks,
more face masks.
145
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,844
Uh, you know,
on second thought,
146
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,345
he probably just fell.
147
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,846
Bummer we’re not gonna
be able to use
148
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,807
your murder-solving
podcast skills.
149
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,850
Fair enough.
Thanks.
150
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:56,856
What is that?
151
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,651
You’re too hard a worker
to give up that easily
152
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,194
on a case.
153
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,113
You have your leads,
but you keep your cards
154
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,573
close to your vest.
155
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,324
What is going on
with the lighting in here?
156
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:09,369
You’re too impulsive
for careful planning,
157
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,580
so you jot down your notes
on whatever you can find --
158
00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:14,541
an old receipt, parking ticket,
gum wrapper.
159
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:18,670
And judging by your...
irregular silhouette,
160
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:22,257
you’re stuffing that information
in your pockets.
Oh, hey!
161
00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,634
Found it -- on the back
of a CVS receipt.
162
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,886
"Andrew may have had IBS."
Interesting.
163
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,722
"Follow up
on threatening work emails."
164
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,098
Good idea.
165
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,683
"Google
red flaky rash I have."
166
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:33,351
Oh.
Oh, Nell.
167
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,228
"Meet Andrew’s neighbor
at 7:00 at Cricket's
168
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,439
to see what he saw."
Perfect.
169
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:39,858
Mm.
Solid work, Nell.
I will see you there.
170
00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:41,943
Okay.
171
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,529
I don’t care
if you don’t like her.
172
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,948
She’s got Rizzoli’s grit
and Isles's face.
173
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,158
We need her.
174
00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,040
Thanks for coming
to meet us, Paul.
175
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,667
Yeah, well, I-I’m not sure
176
00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:00,670
how much I can help
contribute to Andrew’s obituary.
177
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:03,006
Um, he was
always walking around
178
00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:05,133
in thick socks with sandals?
179
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:08,762
You try living with dry skin.
My feet are like hooves.
180
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,680
That’s okay, we’re just getting
some background information.
181
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,807
Do you remember anything
from the night that Andrew died?
182
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:13,975
Lexi, I got this.
183
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,187
Do you remember anything
from the night that Andrew died?
184
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,980
I don’t know.
I-I didn’t see anything.
185
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,357
Nell, when you called,
you mentioned
186
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:22,442
there was gonna be
free wine and cheese.
187
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,653
Paul, now you’re
speaking my language.
188
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,738
Cheese and wine --
let’s get this party started.
189
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,615
Okay.
190
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,533
What?!
191
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:31,743
How well
did you know Andrew?
192
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:32,952
Intimately?
193
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,247
It’s a question people ask.
194
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:39,209
Andrew was kind of
a pain in the ass.
195
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,919
No one in the neighborhood
really liked him.
196
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,754
No one in the neighborhood
really liked the sailboat
197
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,298
in your driveway you’ve been
"working on" for seven years.
198
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,301
He was
the self-appointed HOA --
199
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,387
even had a stupid blog
about it.
200
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:53,682
My blog was the place to go
for appropriate fence heights
201
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:55,642
and holiday decoration
limitations.
202
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:59,771
He was up my butt about this
really cute Dachshund mailbox
203
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:02,732
I installed that apparently
wasn’t up to postal code.
204
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,734
He’s angry because
I audited him.
205
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,111
You audited him?
206
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:10,323
Uh, so he audited you.
207
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,700
How did you know about that?
I'm the one
208
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,576
asking the questions here,
Paul.
209
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,745
Well, i-i-is any of
this important to the obituary?
210
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,288
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is.
211
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:22,001
Oh, my God.
Is Paul a suspect?!
212
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,629
Oh, Nell,
good cop/bad cop him.
213
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:28,174
So, Paul,
you and Mr. Michaels
214
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,468
had a long-standing beef
between you.
215
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,262
It wasn’t exactly a beef.
216
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:34,556
"Wasn't exactly a beef."
217
00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:36,099
Yeah, it was probably just like
a misunderstanding, right?
218
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:37,934
Just got
a little angry.
219
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,477
Well, I-I wouldn’t say
I was angry.
220
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,062
Scoff!
221
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,897
Not angry when your
neighbor audits you?
222
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,733
I tell you what -- if it were
me, I’d want revenge.
223
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:48,111
Well, I didn’t. I-I just wanted
my s-standard deductions.
224
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,071
Tell it to your boat.
225
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,574
You look a little flushed, Paul.
Could I get you some water?
226
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:55,535
Or are you flushed because
you’re hiding the truth?
227
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,746
I-I don’t know.
This is it!
He's gonna break.
228
00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,248
I have a flatbread.
Ooh, yes! That’s me.
229
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,751
Oh!
Oh, I’m so hungry.
Yum, yum, yum.
230
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,670
What?
I’m supposed to stay hungry
231
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,338
this entire interrogation?
232
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:09,132
Interrogation?!
I-I thought
233
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:12,719
this was supposed to be
a casual chat with light bites.
234
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,596
I don’t know what you people
are up to, but I’m going home,
235
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:17,182
calling my lawyer, and I’m gonna
make myself a sandwich.
236
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,725
I’m really hungry.
I thought I was gonna eat.
237
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,101
Sam!
What?!
238
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,811
We had him on the ropes.
Yes.
239
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:24,522
You scared him away
before we could drop the hammer.
240
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:26,232
You know what
we need to do?
241
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,443
Let the police handle this
while we stay at home...
242
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:29,527
Lexi and Nell: Stake out!
...and watch
Sandra Bullock movies?
243
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,029
Did you guys
just say "stakeout"?
244
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:33,031
Okay. Yeah. No.
This has now gone in a direction
245
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:37,243
I can no longer support, so
I’m going to take my wine to go,
246
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,412
and when you are done
with this stupid murder,
247
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,998
you can come over
and we can all turn up.
248
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:45,960
Ah, finally!
249
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,588
This is why there’s
no "Rizzoli & Isles & Sam."
250
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,881
So what do you think --
251
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:52,300
you and me,
partners in crime?
252
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,510
I actually don’t hate
that idea.
253
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,053
Oh.
254
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,807
Narrator: Sadly, the cows were
the only witnesses
255
00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,767
to the carnage
at the dairy farm.
256
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,436
The killer left behind
a blood-soaked barn,
257
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:07,190
littered with a grisly parade
of severed torsos.
258
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,984
To this day, this quiet suburb
in California
259
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:13,029
is faced with
two haunting questions --
260
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:16,991
who was this maniacal madman,
and will he ever be caught?
261
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:19,327
Thank you guys
so much for listening!
262
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,621
And please make sure
to follow us.
Wait, no. That’s it?
263
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,414
We have an Instagram.
We have a Facebook.
264
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:26,709
Lexi! Lexi,
I finished that podcast.
265
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,169
Turns out they didn’t
catch the guy.
266
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:29,379
He’s still out there, huh?
267
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,464
Lexi?
268
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,051
Okay.
269
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:38,680
♪♪
270
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:47,772
♪♪
271
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,399
Oh, creepy van.
272
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:52,110
♪♪
273
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:55,446
Please, I have children.
274
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:56,948
I...
275
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,700
Oh, that feels
so good to say.
276
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,829
Okay. Come on, Dennis.
Come on, come on.
277
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:07,041
♪♪
278
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,043
Dennis!
279
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,212
You forgot your phone
and your wallet!
280
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:16,551
Mama's getting Quiznos tonight.
281
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:25,768
♪♪
282
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,064
Look at us,
on a real stakeout.
283
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:32,192
Yeah, I know.
284
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,902
Check out
these crime scene photos.
285
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,654
His body landed
in such a strange position.
286
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:38,156
Yeah.
Looks like a Twizzler.
287
00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:39,657
Hmm.
288
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:43,161
Oh, you use Prix Elevé?
Very expensive.
289
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:45,079
Oh, I didn’t pay for it.
290
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:46,372
Yeah, the stupid woman
that’s sleeping with Edward,
291
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:49,834
she left it at my place,
so mine now!
292
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,628
Sure is.
293
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:52,962
Yeah,
the diamond powder
294
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,422
is really shimmering
on your clavicle.
295
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:55,798
Isn’t it?
Yeah.
296
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,593
It feels so soft.
Hmm.
297
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,094
You know, I don’t even know
who this woman is.
298
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,555
She made him sign
a non-disclosure agreement.
299
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,390
What kind of lunatic
300
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,100
makes someone they’re
hooking up with sign an NDA?
301
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,937
Oh, well, you know,
perhaps as, uh --
302
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:11,522
as someone who is
completely an outside observer
303
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,149
and has no skin
in the game,
304
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,193
um, she could just be judicious
with her dalliances.
305
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:16,319
Yeah, or perhaps
she’s a controlling,
306
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:17,737
narcissistic monster.
307
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,280
Oh, I don’t think that
that’s --
308
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,990
She’s a freak.
Right?
309
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:23,451
She’s a gross,
gross lady.
Thank you.
310
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,161
Yeah.
Great taste in skincare,
though.
311
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:28,414
Yes, she is.
312
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,041
You know, I know we haven’t
really gotten along too well
313
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:32,418
in the past,
but, um...
314
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,337
I’ve been having
a really good time tonight.
315
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:35,755
So have I.
316
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,298
And I know this may
shock you, Nell,
317
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,676
but typically,
it’s not that easy for me
318
00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:42,887
to connect to other people,
so this has been nice.
319
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:48,101
And actually, Nell,
there is, um,
320
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,645
something I need
to tell you.
321
00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,230
Garbage!
No!
322
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,274
Oh, trash is a true crime
gold mine.
323
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,316
If he leaves that in the bin,
you know,
324
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:57,318
legally, we can take it.
325
00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,362
California v. Greenwood, 1988.
...Greenwood, 1988.
326
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:00,488
Stop it!
327
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:02,073
Of course.
328
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,408
I listened to
a four-part special on that --
329
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:05,660
"One Man's Trash
Is Another Man's Murder."
330
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:09,330
♪♪
331
00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:17,171
I am not a threat.
332
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:19,173
Oh!
I said I’m not a threat!
333
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:20,717
What do you keep in there,
bricks?!
334
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:23,594
Dennis, what are you doing
lurking outside of my house?
335
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:26,431
I am not lurking.
I’m being followed by a maniac!
336
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:27,974
I didn’t have my phone,
and I couldn’t go home.
337
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,350
I’d be leading the psycho
straight to my kids.
338
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:31,561
Why would you bring
the psycho to my house?!
339
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:32,979
Get inside right now!
340
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:36,733
♪♪
341
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,401
Come on.
342
00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:40,570
♪♪
343
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,155
Clear?
Clear.
344
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:47,118
♪♪
345
00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:48,202
-Clear?
-Clear.
346
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,999
Okay.
Okay.
347
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,667
No, you, you. You’re the one
that has the gloves.
348
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,045
These are $1,600 each!
What?!
349
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,130
It’s pure mulberry silk.
The worms that made these,
350
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,923
they live better lives
than we do.
351
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,217
I don’t even know
what mulberry is!
352
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,931
Sam?
353
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:11,017
Well, congratulations.
You broke Dennis.
354
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,311
I tried to calm him down
with a cucumber face mask
355
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:15,813
and an espresso martini,
but it is no use.
356
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,857
I’m just more anxious.
357
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,108
Yeah, that stupid podcast
you made him listen to --
358
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,068
well, it scared the crap
out of him.
359
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:21,527
Jeez, what a knot.
360
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,739
So please tell him
that it is not real.
361
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:27,658
Lexi: But it did happen.
All of it. Recently.
362
00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:29,535
He could be anywhere.
363
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,037
Yeah. I’m not gonna
take care of him all alone,
364
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,872
so get over here.
365
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,707
Okay, Sam.
Bye.
366
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:37,335
God, Dennis was
just not built for this.
367
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,712
Not everyone has our grit.
I got it!
368
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,214
Hey!
369
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,882
Are you stealing
my garbage?
370
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,175
I peed a little!
371
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:45,760
Oh, so did I.
372
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,220
Ew. Gross.
373
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,389
♪♪
374
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:51,224
White women.
375
00:14:57,605 --> 00:15:00,608
Sam: I can’t believe you brought
garbage to girls night.
376
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,151
I don’t care
what they brought.
377
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,820
The more of us are here,
the harder it is
378
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,404
for us to be murdered.
Yeah. Okay.
379
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,115
No more espresso martini
for you.
380
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,950
Thank you.
I can hear colors.
381
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,536
So, what is it exactly
that you’re looking for?
382
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:13,246
Something that connects
Paul to Andrew.
383
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:16,207
I think I found something.
It’s herbal supplements,
384
00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:18,376
but this note is
from Andrew to Paul.
385
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,128
"Paul, sorry for the audit
and the ulcer.
386
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:22,672
This should help.
Best, Andrew."
387
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:25,007
That bastard just
threw away my pills.
388
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,385
If he’s capable of this,
he’s capable of anything.
389
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:28,719
Oh, interesting.
390
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:30,429
The receipt says
that he bought five,
391
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,098
but there’s only one in here,
which means...
392
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,808
I kept four bottles
for myself.
393
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:36,352
Our victim kept four bottles
for himself.
She gets me.
394
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,521
I knew
I recognized those.
Hm?
395
00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:41,524
Every entry in his blog
has something about
396
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:43,985
picking up after your dog
and taking those supplements.
397
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:46,654
Dog poo is impossible
to get out of your Hokas,
398
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,240
and those supplements
are a miracle cure for IBS.
399
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,408
I’ve been taking them
for years.
400
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:51,993
He’s been taking them
for years.
401
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,494
We're really clicking
right now.
402
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:57,456
What’s even in these?
Atropine, belladonna.
403
00:15:57,456 --> 00:16:00,376
Belladonna? The FDA has been
warning parents for years
404
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,461
not to put it on anything
like teething rings
405
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:03,921
'cause it’s, like,
literal poison.
406
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:05,339
Interesting.
Interesting.
407
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:06,632
Interesting.
408
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,050
♪♪
409
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:09,677
Did I do it?
Did I solve it?
410
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,554
Can we watch
"Hope Floats" now? Please?
411
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,806
The side effects of long-term
belladonna poisoning
412
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,641
are muscle spasms,
413
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:18,269
blurry vision, dry skin,
and dry mouth.
414
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:21,063
Let’s talk through a theory
about what happened.
415
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,274
Roll with me, Nell.
Yes.
416
00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:25,860
It’s the night
of our victim’s death.
417
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,278
He was found
wearing pajamas,
418
00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:28,654
so he had probably
just gone to bed.
419
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,448
He got up.
He was thirsty.
420
00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:32,533
His trusty herbal supplements
give him dry mouth.
421
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,202
But he didn’t want to drink
from the bathroom faucet.
422
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:35,870
Lexi: Because that’s for dogs.
He wanted cold water
423
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:37,288
from the fridge
downstairs.
424
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:39,081
He carefully walks down
the hall,
425
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:41,334
feet freshly greased for bed
because of his dry skin.
426
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,878
His vision is blurry,
so he carefully makes his way
427
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,463
to the top
of the stairs...
428
00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:47,423
Which is why that oily residue
was found up there.
429
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:50,593
His muscle spasms,
which cause him to slip.
430
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:51,969
Which explains
why his body was found
431
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:53,638
in the Twizzler position.
432
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,473
He poisoned himself
and fell down the stairs.
433
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,352
Oh, it was an accident.
He wasn’t murdered.
434
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,811
This is so disappointing.
435
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,605
Sure is.
436
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:05,149
I guess it’s great
that he wasn’t brutally killed.
437
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,068
Yeah, I guess.
No one cared enough to kill me.
438
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,694
But we did solve it.
439
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,446
That’s the most important
thing, right?
440
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:13,115
Yeah.
Yeah, we sure did.
441
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:14,742
We make
a shockingly good team.
442
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:16,494
We sure do, partner.
443
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:18,704
Eww, cashews.
444
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:27,755
♪♪
445
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:30,132
Oh, come on.
Seriously?
446
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:31,509
Did your secret lover
eat my food?
447
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,554
Someone in your room,
Robe Guy?
448
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,638
Oh, my God.
Is your sex friend in there?
449
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:38,432
Edward:
Belongs to my lady friend.
450
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,726
What kind of lunatic
451
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,062
makes somebody they’re
hooking up with sign an NDA?
452
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,898
Eww, cashews.
453
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,316
♪♪
454
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:52,321
♪♪
455
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:53,614
You’ve been sleeping
with Edward!
456
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,576
The fancy bra
and the skin cream
457
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,078
and the cashews --
that’s you!
458
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,705
Okay, yes.
However --
459
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,623
This has been
going on for weeks!
460
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,584
And we’ve been
hanging out all day,
461
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,168
and you haven’t said
anything?
462
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,421
Oh! Oh, I feel so stupid!
463
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:11,716
I-I wanted to tell you. I-I just
didn’t know what to say.
464
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,676
I-I’m sorry that you’re
finding out this way,
465
00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:16,596
but this is a good thing,
because now you know it’s me
466
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,514
who’s with Edward and --
and not some crazy woman.
467
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,224
Oh, sure, because
that’s the takeaway.
468
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:21,851
And now we’re friends,
so you can say
469
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,227
everything you wanted to say
to Edward’s mystery woman
470
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:24,353
right to my face.
471
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:25,855
Just let me have it,
partner.
472
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,816
That’s the thing, Lexi.
473
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,777
We’re not
partners or friends.
474
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,946
You’re my boss, and I shouldn’t
have forgotten that.
475
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:39,744
♪♪
476
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,667
Lexi told me
what happened.
477
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:51,005
Oh, how nice of her to share
that important information.
478
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:53,591
I’m sorry. I don’t
understand why you’re upset.
479
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:55,801
Because you’re sleeping
with my boss, Edward.
480
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:59,055
That could get really
complicated for me.
481
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,348
And you lied to me
about it.
482
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,891
I didn’t lie to you.
483
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:03,267
When I asked
if you wanted to hear
484
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,061
more about my sex life,
you said no.
485
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,563
I believe you said "barf."
You knew what I meant.
486
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:11,067
That’s the thing -- no, I don't.
I take things literally.
487
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,027
It’s a big part of what works
with Lexi and me.
488
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:16,697
She’s very blunt and spells out
everything she wants.
489
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:19,367
♪♪
490
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:23,079
I just want you to be able
to share stuff with me.
491
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:26,040
You know...
the way that friends do.
492
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,293
They share secrets and feelings
and indoor shoes
493
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:31,253
so that you can run
to the coffee shop.
494
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:33,089
I thought I saw gravel
in the treads.
495
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:37,093
All I’m saying is...
496
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:40,680
I just want to know
that you’re happy
497
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:44,016
and that the person that
you’re with makes you happy.
498
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:48,479
I care about you.
499
00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:50,064
That’s nice.
500
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,110
I care about you, too.
501
00:19:56,696 --> 00:20:00,032
Maybe we could work
on communicating
502
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,909
what we need
from each other.
503
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,077
Like a friendship contract.
504
00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:05,079
That’s weird
and clinical.
505
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,582
And I would love to.
506
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:09,917
Nice.
507
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:17,675
Narrator: And what was
the 2% Killer planning to do
508
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:18,259
with a melon baller?
Find out in episode nine.
509
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:19,927
Oh, this is so good.
510
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:20,928
I bet you I know what he does
with the melon baller.
511
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,513
Play the next one.
Come on.
512
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:23,514
No way. We’ve been bingeing this
for hours.
513
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:25,015
I got to send you off,
dude.
514
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:28,352
Fine. I guess my obituary
writes itself.
515
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,688
Andrew Michaels was
a boring accountant
516
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:33,732
who worked behind a boring desk
and died a boring death.
517
00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:37,153
Andrew, you weren’t
just an accountant --
518
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:40,072
no, you were
an IRS special agent.
519
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,408
You carried a gun
and a badge.
520
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,076
You put away
white collar criminals
521
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,619
and saved thousands
of people
522
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:47,288
from being cheated
of their life savings.
523
00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:50,833
You weren’t boring, sir.
You were a hero.
524
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:53,043
I did do that, didn’t I?
Mm-hmm.
525
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:56,589
Well, I guess I can
live without being murdered.
Mm.
526
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,674
Thanks, Nell.
527
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:01,469
Oh, uh, FYI, you can’t claim
Milk Duds as a work expenditure.
528
00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:02,720
Oh. Okay, time to go. Yeah?
Okay. Bye.
529
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,889
Bye.
530
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:07,475
Phew! Hmm.
531
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,776
It’s very sweet, but does
this mean that you’re here?
532
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:19,987
Lexi: If you’re feeling
less angry now, then yes.
533
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,155
Ohh.
534
00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:23,491
♪♪
40109
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