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1
00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,031
Edward.
2
00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,658
Nell: Edward.
3
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,744
Edward, you've been
in there forever.
4
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:20,038
I want my robe!
5
00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:21,998
Or at least the gummy
bears in the pocket?
6
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:26,753
Edward. Come on, come on.
7
00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:32,091
You always say that.
8
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,177
Ah! Forget it, I'll
grab my sweater.
9
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:45,980
Whoa, that was fast.
10
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:46,981
Thank you.
11
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:48,131
Hmm.
12
00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,319
You should really watch
your sugar intake.
13
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:52,987
It's addictive as cocaine.
14
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:54,739
Some studies say
ten times as much.
15
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,616
Oh, come on. Seriously?
16
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,868
Yep. It stimulates the nucleus
accumbens in the brain.
17
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,412
No, this cashew chicken was
supposed to be my breakfast.
18
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:03,373
I question your definition
of breakfast, then.
19
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,375
I question why you
would eat my leftovers
20
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,502
and just leave three cashews at
the bottom with a dirty fork.
21
00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:10,672
Firstly, I would never do
something that unhygienic. Mm.
22
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:13,216
And secondly, I
have a major problem
23
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,385
with the cashew industry's
farming policies,
24
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,680
so I would never take cashews
so lightly as to discard them.
25
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:22,976
Well, someone took my cashews
lightly, and it wasn't me.
26
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,103
Did your secret
lover eat my food?
27
00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,188
No, we don't have time to
eat, if you catch my drift.
28
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,940
Eww. Maybe you ate it.
29
00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:31,067
Me? You know, sleep
eating is more common
30
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:34,112
than you would think, and
you are susceptible to it.
31
00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:35,072
Do you remember the
time you woke up
32
00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:36,614
and you had knitted
part of a scarf?
33
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,908
I do.
34
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,034
I don't even know how to knit.
35
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:42,120
But you do know how to eat.
36
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:44,038
Oh, God.
37
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:47,125
Captions by VITAC...
38
00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:53,881
It's upsetting, and
it's misleading.
39
00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:56,092
Come on. Are you guys looking
at my Tinder profile again?
40
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,928
No, no, no, no, no. Lexi's
dad has instituted a new
41
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,680
"if it bleeds, it leads" policy
42
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,932
to try to get more
eyeballs on the paper.
43
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:06,728
Tina has been tasked with
making our headlines "spicier."
44
00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:09,689
Hey, Tina, tell them
what you titled my piece
45
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,232
about the panda being
born at the zoo.
46
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:13,818
"Eight-year-old gives
birth in public."
47
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,486
Oh, God, I gotta go talk
to her before she turns
48
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,572
my Easter edition into
a zombie apocalypse.
49
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,782
Mnh. Tina!
50
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,701
Let's see if you can spice up
your next obituary assignment.
51
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,829
Uh-huh? Andrew Michaels,
an accountant who died
52
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,664
after falling down the
stairs in his home.
53
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:28,666
Oh. Yeah, not even Tina
could make that turd sing.
54
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:31,085
Oh. Hurtful.
55
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:32,754
Mm.
56
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,714
You know, I wasn't
merely an accountant.
57
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,716
I was an IRS special agent.
58
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,384
Yeah, that doesn't
bleed or lead.
59
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,303
It was more exciting
than you'd think.
60
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,055
I had a gun and everything.
61
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:44,223
I never used it, but,
yeah, I had it. Mm.
62
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,059
I carried a badge...
63
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:49,937
Never showed it,
but I carried it.
64
00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:52,565
Oh, so you're like 007. Oh.
65
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:55,068
Just, like, without the cars
or the gadgets or the skill
66
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:57,695
or the muscles or
the women. Yeah.
67
00:02:57,719 --> 00:03:01,157
Hey, just because I did my
work from behind my desk
68
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:04,660
as an agent didn't make
my job any less harrowing.
69
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:07,288
In point of fact, my
death was no accident...
70
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,207
I was murdered.
71
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:10,666
What?!
72
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,585
are you doing at work today?
73
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:15,088
I thought you were
sick. We sent soup.
74
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,548
You should go check. It's
probably at the front door.
75
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,512
What do you mean, murdered?
76
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,246
I didn't fall down my stairs.
77
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,017
I was pushed.
78
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,603
I caught a glimpse of a
shadowy figure above me
79
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,897
on the landing as I fell,
80
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,233
and then everything went black.
81
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:36,484
Then I was talking to you. Ooh.
82
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,194
Hi. Hi.
83
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,238
Who would want to kill you?
84
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:42,949
I don't know. You know, I
received a lot of threats.
85
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:45,660
Yeah. Turns out people don't
like being audited. Mm.
86
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:49,288
Someone once told me to
shove my ass up my own ass.
87
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,832
How would that even work?
Oh, don't overthink it.
88
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,667
Oh, now I'm stuck on it.
89
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,502
I just can't even
picture it, so I'm lucky.
90
00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,004
You know what? My editor is
obsessed with splashy headlines.
91
00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,632
If you're right, this could
land me the front page.
92
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,551
Well, that's kind of
a self-centered take
93
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:02,969
on my potentially violent death,
94
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,388
but whatever gets the job done.
95
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,559
♪ Girls night tonight ♪ Oh!
96
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,727
♪ I don't have the kids, and
I'm really gonna miss them ♪
97
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,354
♪ Also gonna drank ♪
98
00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:15,356
Oh, yeah. I can't go
to girls night tonight.
99
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,442
♪ Those are not the
words to the song ♪
100
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:21,779
Sam, my latest obit subject
might have been murdered.
101
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,490
And the more I investigate it,
the more I think it's true.
102
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:28,286
You are not gonna miss
girls night for some murder.
103
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,371
Murder, you say?
Yeah, Nell thinks
104
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,790
that her obituary subject
may have been killed.
105
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,585
Oh! I love true crime.
Tell me everything.
106
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,336
Oh, it's just a
thought, you know?
107
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,671
Probably not gonna
do anything about it.
108
00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,965
No big deal, right? Bleh.
109
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,717
Nell, here's the police report
you needed ASAP... Oh. Mnh.
110
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,635
For your big deal investigation.
111
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,555
Oh, thank you.
112
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:49,307
There's pictures of the
accident scene in there,
113
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:52,059
and ever since I became a dad,
I cannot handle anything scary.
114
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,102
I know what will toughen you up.
115
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,437
Phone.
116
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,189
Dennis, I am assigning you
117
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:59,066
to listen to a
true crime podcast,
118
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:00,860
in part to try and cure you
119
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,737
of this sudden, strange
aversion to violence,
120
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:04,989
and in part because I am dying
121
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:07,158
to have someone to
discuss it with.
122
00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:09,786
Narrator: Welcome to "Death
at the Dairy Farm"... Ah.
123
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,788
A grisly tale of blood and milk.
124
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,956
It's "udderly" terrifying.
125
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,666
Uh, Lexi, I'm gonna just take
that police report and skedaddle.
126
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,711
Nell, I am officially
joining your investigation.
127
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,588
What? Yeah, it seems like
you could really use my help.
128
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:23,508
You do remember I'm an actual
investigative journalist?
129
00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,092
Well, I've listened
to over 4,000 hours
130
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:26,844
of true crime podcasts,
which are very educational.
131
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,471
Well, I went to
journalism school.
132
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,806
Education is very educational.
133
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,975
Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
134
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,352
So, I think we're
all losing sight
135
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,312
of what's really important
here, which is...
136
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,147
♪ Girls night ♪ Girls night?
137
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,191
A night of girls solving
a murder? I'm in.
138
00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:42,443
No, like, less ski
masks, more face masks.
139
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,820
Uh, you know, on second thought,
140
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,321
he probably just fell.
141
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,822
Bummer we're not
gonna be able to use
142
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,783
your murder-solving
podcast skills.
143
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,850
Fair enough. Thanks.
144
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:56,856
What is that?
145
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,627
You're too hard a worker
to give up that easily
146
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,170
on a case.
147
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,089
You have your leads,
but you keep your cards
148
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,549
close to your vest.
149
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,300
What is going on with
the lighting in here?
150
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:09,345
You're too impulsive
for careful planning,
151
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,556
so you jot down your notes
on whatever you can find
152
00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:14,541
an old receipt, parking
ticket, gum wrapper.
153
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:18,646
And judging by your...
irregular silhouette,
154
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:22,233
you're stuffing that information
in your pockets. Oh, hey!
155
00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,610
Found it... on the
back of a CVS receipt.
156
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,862
"Andrew may have had
IBS." Interesting.
157
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,698
"Follow up on
threatening work emails."
158
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,074
Good idea.
159
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,659
"Google red flaky rash I have."
160
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:33,327
Oh. Oh, Nell.
161
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,204
"Meet Andrew's neighbor
at 7:00 at Cricket's
162
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,415
"to see what he saw." Perfect.
163
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:39,834
Mm. Solid work, Nell.
I will see you there.
164
00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:41,919
Okay.
165
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,505
I don't care if
you don't like her.
166
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,924
She's got Rizzoli's
grit and Isles's face.
167
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,158
We need her.
168
00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,016
Thanks for coming
to meet us, Paul.
169
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,643
Yeah, well, I-I'm not sure
170
00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:00,646
how much I can help contribute
to Andrew's obituary.
171
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,982
Um, he was always walking around
172
00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:05,109
in thick socks with sandals?
173
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:08,738
You try living with dry skin.
My feet are like hooves.
174
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,656
That's okay, we're just getting
some background information.
175
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,783
Do you remember anything from
the night that Andrew died?
176
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:13,975
Lexi, I got this.
177
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,163
Do you remember anything from
the night that Andrew died?
178
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,956
I don't know. I-I
didn't see anything.
179
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,333
Nell, when you
called, you mentioned
180
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:22,418
there was gonna be
free wine and cheese.
181
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,629
Paul, now you're
speaking my language.
182
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,714
Cheese and wine... let's
get this party started.
183
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,591
Okay.
184
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,509
What?!
185
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:31,719
How well did you know Andrew?
186
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:32,952
Intimately?
187
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,223
It's a question people ask.
188
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:39,185
Andrew was kind of
a pain in the ass.
189
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,895
No one in the neighborhood
really liked him.
190
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,730
No one in the neighborhood
really liked the sailboat
191
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,274
in your driveway you've been
"working on" for seven years.
192
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,277
He was the self-appointed HOA
193
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,363
even had a stupid blog about it.
194
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:53,658
My blog was the place to go
for appropriate fence heights
195
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:55,618
and holiday decoration
limitations.
196
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:59,747
He was up my butt about this
really cute Dachshund mailbox
197
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:02,708
I installed that apparently
wasn't up to postal code.
198
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,710
He's angry because
I audited him.
199
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,111
You audited him?
200
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:10,299
Uh, so he audited you.
201
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,676
How did you know about
that? I'm the one
202
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,552
asking the questions here, Paul.
203
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,721
Well, i-i-is any of this
important to the obituary?
204
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,288
Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
205
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:21,977
Oh, my God. Is
Paul a suspect?!
206
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,605
Oh, Nell, good cop/bad cop him.
207
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:28,150
So, Paul, you and Mr. Michaels
208
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,444
had a long-standing
beef between you.
209
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,238
It wasn't exactly a beef.
210
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:34,532
"Wasn't exactly a beef."
211
00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:36,075
Yeah, it was probably just
like a misunderstanding, right?
212
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:37,910
Just got a little angry.
213
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,453
Well, I-I wouldn't
say I was angry.
214
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,038
Scoff!
215
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,873
Not angry when your
neighbor audits you?
216
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,709
I tell you what... if it
were me, I'd want revenge.
217
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:48,087
Well, I didn't. I-I just wanted
my s-standard deductions.
218
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,047
Tell it to your boat.
219
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,550
You look a little flushed, Paul.
Could I get you some water?
220
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:55,511
Or are you flushed because
you're hiding the truth?
221
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,722
I-I don't know. This is
it! He's gonna break.
222
00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,224
I have a flatbread.
Ooh, yes! That's me.
223
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,727
Oh! Oh, I'm so
hungry. Yum, yum, yum.
224
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,646
What? I'm supposed
to stay hungry
225
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,314
this entire interrogation?
226
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:09,108
Interrogation?! I-I thought
227
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:12,695
this was supposed to be a
casual chat with light bites.
228
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,572
I don't know what you people
are up to, but I'm going home,
229
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:17,158
calling my lawyer, and I'm
gonna make myself a sandwich.
230
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,701
I'm really hungry. I
thought I was gonna eat.
231
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,077
Sam! What?!
232
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,787
We had him on the ropes. Yes.
233
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:24,498
You scared him away before
we could drop the hammer.
234
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:26,208
You know what we need to do?
235
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,419
Let the police handle this
while we stay at home...
236
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:29,503
Lexi and Nell: Stake out! ...And
watch Sandra Bullock movies?
237
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,005
Did you guys just
say "stakeout"?
238
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:33,007
Okay. Yeah. No. This has
now gone in a direction
239
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:37,219
I can no longer support, so I'm
going to take my wine to go,
240
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,388
and when you are done
with this stupid murder,
241
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,998
you can come over and
we can all turn up.
242
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:45,936
Ah, finally!
243
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,564
This is why there's no
"Rizzoli & Isles & Sam."
244
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,857
So what do you think
245
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:52,276
you and me, partners in crime?
246
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,486
I actually don't hate that idea.
247
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,029
Oh.
248
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,783
Narrator: Sadly, the cows
were the only witnesses
249
00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,743
to the carnage at
the dairy farm.
250
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,412
The killer left behind
a blood-soaked barn,
251
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:07,166
littered with a grisly
parade of severed torsos.
252
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,960
To this day, this quiet
suburb in California
253
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:13,005
is faced with two
haunting questions
254
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:16,967
who was this maniacal madman,
and will he ever be caught?
255
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:19,303
Thank you guys so
much for listening!
256
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,597
And please make sure to follow
us. Wait, no. That's it?
257
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,390
We have an Instagram.
We have a Facebook.
258
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:26,685
Lexi! Lexi, I
finished that podcast.
259
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,145
Turns out they
didn't catch the guy.
260
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:29,379
He's still out there, huh?
261
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,440
Lexi?
262
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,027
Okay.
263
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,375
Oh, creepy van.
264
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:55,422
Please, I have children.
265
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:56,924
I...
266
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,676
Oh, that feels so good to say.
267
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,805
Okay. Come on, Dennis.
Come on, come on.
268
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,019
Dennis!
269
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,188
You forgot your phone
and your wallet!
270
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:16,527
Mama's getting
Quiznos tonight.
271
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,040
Look at us, on a real stakeout.
272
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:32,168
Yeah, I know.
273
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,878
Check out these
crime scene photos.
274
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,630
His body landed in such
a strange position.
275
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:38,132
Yeah. Looks like a Twizzler.
276
00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:39,633
Hmm.
277
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:43,137
Oh, you use Prix
Elevé? Very expensive.
278
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:45,055
Oh, I didn't pay for it.
279
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:46,348
Yeah, the stupid woman
that's sleeping with Edward,
280
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:49,810
she left it at my
place, so mine now!
281
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,604
Sure is.
282
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:52,938
Yeah, the diamond powder
283
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,398
is really shimmering
on your clavicle.
284
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:55,774
Isn't it? Yeah.
285
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,569
It feels so soft. Hmm.
286
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,070
You know, I don't even
know who this woman is.
287
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,531
She made him sign a
non-disclosure agreement.
288
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,366
What kind of lunatic
289
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,076
makes someone they're
hooking up with sign an NDA?
290
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,913
Oh, well, you know,
perhaps as, uh
291
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:11,498
as someone who is completely
an outside observer
292
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,125
and has no skin in the game,
293
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,169
um, she could just be
judicious with her dalliances.
294
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:16,295
Yeah, or perhaps
she's a controlling,
295
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:17,713
narcissistic monster.
296
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,256
Oh, I don't think that that's...
297
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,966
She's a freak. Right?
298
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:23,427
She's a gross, gross
lady. Thank you.
299
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,137
Yeah. Great taste
in skincare, though.
300
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:28,390
Yes, she is.
301
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,017
You know, I know we haven't
really gotten along too well
302
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:32,394
in the past, but, um...
303
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,313
I've been having a
really good time tonight.
304
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:35,731
So have I.
305
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,274
And I know this may
shock you, Nell,
306
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,652
but typically, it's
not that easy for me
307
00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:42,887
to connect to other people,
so this has been nice.
308
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:48,077
And actually,
Nell, there is, um,
309
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,621
something I need to tell you.
310
00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,206
Garbage! No!
311
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,250
Oh, trash is a true
crime gold mine.
312
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,292
If he leaves that in
the bin, you know,
313
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:57,294
legally, we can take it.
314
00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,338
California v. Greenwood,
1988. Greenwood, 1988.
315
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:00,464
Stop it!
316
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:02,049
Of course.
317
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,384
I listened to a four-part
special on that...
318
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:05,636
"One Man's Trash Is
Another Man's Murder."
319
00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:17,147
I am not a threat.
320
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:19,149
Oh! I said I'm not a threat!
321
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:20,693
What do you keep
in there, bricks?!
322
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:23,570
Dennis, what are you doing
lurking outside of my house?
323
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:26,407
I am not lurking. I'm
being followed by a maniac!
324
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:27,950
I didn't have my phone,
and I couldn't go home.
325
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,326
I'd be leading the psycho
straight to my kids.
326
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:31,537
Why would you bring the
psycho to my house?!
327
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:32,955
Get inside right now!
328
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,377
Come on.
329
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,131
Clear? Clear.
330
00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:48,202
- Clear?
- Clear.
331
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,975
Okay. Okay.
332
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,643
No, you, you. You're the
one that has the gloves.
333
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,021
These are $1,600 each! What?!
334
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,106
It's pure mulberry silk.
The worms that made these,
335
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,899
they live better
lives than we do.
336
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,217
I don't even know
what mulberry is!
337
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,907
Sam?
338
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,993
Well, congratulations.
You broke Dennis.
339
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,287
I tried to calm him down
with a cucumber face mask
340
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:15,789
and an espresso martini,
but it is no use.
341
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,833
I'm just more anxious.
342
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,084
Yeah, that stupid podcast
you made him listen to
343
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,045
well, it scared the
crap out of him.
344
00:14:20,069 --> 00:14:21,503
Jeez, what a knot.
345
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,715
So please tell him
that it is not real.
346
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:27,634
Lexi: But it did happen.
All of it. Recently.
347
00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:29,511
He could be anywhere.
348
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,013
Yeah. I'm not gonna take
care of him all alone,
349
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,848
so get over here.
350
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,683
Okay, Sam. Bye.
351
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:37,311
God, Dennis was just
not built for this.
352
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,688
Not everyone has
our grit. I got it!
353
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,190
Hey!
354
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,858
Are you stealing my garbage?
355
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,151
I peed a little!
356
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:45,736
Oh, so did I.
357
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,196
Ew. Gross.
358
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:51,389
White women.
359
00:14:57,605 --> 00:15:00,584
Sam: I can't believe you
brought garbage to girls night.
360
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,127
I don't care what they brought.
361
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,796
The more of us are
here, the harder it is
362
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,380
for us to be
murdered. Yeah. Okay.
363
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,091
No more espresso
martini for you.
364
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,926
Thank you. I can hear colors.
365
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,512
So, what is it exactly
that you're looking for?
366
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:13,222
Something that connects
Paul to Andrew.
367
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:16,183
I think I found something.
It's herbal supplements,
368
00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:18,352
but this note is
from Andrew to Paul.
369
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,104
"Paul, sorry for the
audit and the ulcer.
370
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:22,648
This should help. Best, Andrew."
371
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,983
That bastard just
threw away my pills.
372
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,361
If he's capable of this,
he's capable of anything.
373
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:28,695
Oh, interesting.
374
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:30,405
The receipt says
that he bought five,
375
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,074
but there's only one
in here, which means...
376
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,784
I kept four bottles for myself.
377
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:36,328
Our victim kept four bottles
for himself. She gets me.
378
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,497
I knew I recognized those. Hm?
379
00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:41,500
Every entry in his blog
has something about
380
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:43,961
picking up after your dog
and taking those supplements.
381
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:46,630
Dog poo is impossible to
get out of your Hokas,
382
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,216
and those supplements are
a miracle cure for IBS.
383
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,384
I've been taking them for years.
384
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:51,969
He's been taking them for years.
385
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,470
We're really clicking right now.
386
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:57,432
What's even in these?
Atropine, belladonna.
387
00:15:57,456 --> 00:16:00,352
Belladonna? The FDA has been
warning parents for years
388
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,437
not to put it on anything
like teething rings
389
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:03,897
'cause it's, like,
literal poison.
390
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:05,315
Interesting. Interesting.
391
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:06,608
Interesting.
392
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:09,653
Did I do it? Did I solve it?
393
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,530
Can we watch "Hope
Floats" now? Please?
394
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,782
The side effects of long-term
belladonna poisoning
395
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,617
are muscle spasms,
396
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:18,245
blurry vision, dry
skin, and dry mouth.
397
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:21,039
Let's talk through a
theory about what happened.
398
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,250
Roll with me, Nell. Yes.
399
00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:25,836
It's the night of
our victim's death.
400
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,254
He was found wearing pajamas,
401
00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:28,630
so he had probably
just gone to bed.
402
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,424
He got up. He was thirsty.
403
00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:32,509
His trusty herbal supplements
give him dry mouth.
404
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,178
But he didn't want to drink
from the bathroom faucet.
405
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:35,846
Lexi: Because that's for
dogs. He wanted cold water
406
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:37,264
from the fridge downstairs.
407
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:39,057
He carefully walks
down the hall,
408
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:41,310
feet freshly greased for
bed because of his dry skin.
409
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,854
His vision is blurry, so
he carefully makes his way
410
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,439
to the top of the stairs...
411
00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:47,399
Which is why that oily
residue was found up there.
412
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:50,569
His muscle spasms,
which cause him to slip.
413
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:51,945
Which explains why
his body was found
414
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:53,614
in the Twizzler position.
415
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,449
He poisoned himself and
fell down the stairs.
416
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,328
Oh, it was an accident.
He wasn't murdered.
417
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,787
This is so disappointing.
418
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,581
Sure is.
419
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:05,125
I guess it's great that
he wasn't brutally killed.
420
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,044
Yeah, I guess. No one
cared enough to kill me.
421
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,670
But we did solve it.
422
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,422
That's the most
important thing, right?
423
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:13,091
Yeah. Yeah, we sure did.
424
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:14,718
We make a shockingly good team.
425
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:16,470
We sure do, partner.
426
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:18,704
Eww, cashews.
427
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:30,108
Oh, come on. Seriously?
428
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:31,509
Did your secret
lover eat my food?
429
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,530
Someone in your room, Robe Guy?
430
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,154
Oh, my God. Is your
sex friend in there?
431
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:38,408
Edward: Belongs
to my lady friend.
432
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,702
What kind of lunatic
433
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,038
makes somebody they're
hooking up with sign an NDA?
434
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,874
Eww, cashews.
435
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:53,590
You've been sleeping
with Edward!
436
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,552
The fancy bra and the skin cream
437
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,054
and the cashews... that's you!
438
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,681
Okay, yes. However...
439
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,599
This has been
going on for weeks!
440
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,560
And we've been
hanging out all day,
441
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,144
and you haven't said anything?
442
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,397
Oh! Oh, I feel so stupid!
443
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:11,692
I-I wanted to tell you. I-I
just didn't know what to say.
444
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,652
I-I'm sorry that you're
finding out this way,
445
00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:16,572
but this is a good thing,
because now you know it's me
446
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,490
who's with Edward and...
and not some crazy woman.
447
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,200
Oh, sure, because
that's the takeaway.
448
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:21,827
And now we're friends,
so you can say
449
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,203
everything you wanted to say
to Edward's mystery woman
450
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:24,329
right to my face.
451
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:25,855
Just let me have it, partner.
452
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,792
That's the thing, Lexi.
453
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,753
We're not partners or friends.
454
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,922
You're my boss, and I
shouldn't have forgotten that.
455
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,643
Lexi told me what happened.
456
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:50,981
Oh, how nice of her to share
that important information.
457
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:53,567
I'm sorry. I don't
understand why you're upset.
458
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:55,777
Because you're sleeping
with my boss, Edward.
459
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:59,031
That could get really
complicated for me.
460
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,324
And you lied to me about it.
461
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,867
I didn't lie to you.
462
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:03,243
When I asked if
you wanted to hear
463
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,037
more about my sex
life, you said no.
464
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,539
I believe you said "barf."
You knew what I meant.
465
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:11,043
That's the thing... no, I
don't. I take things literally.
466
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,003
It's a big part of what
works with Lexi and me.
467
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:16,673
She's very blunt and spells
out everything she wants.
468
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:23,055
I just want you to be able
to share stuff with me.
469
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:26,016
You know... the way
that friends do.
470
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,269
They share secrets and
feelings and indoor shoes
471
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:31,229
so that you can run
to the coffee shop.
472
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:33,065
I thought I saw
gravel in the treads.
473
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:37,069
All I'm saying is...
474
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:40,656
I just want to know
that you're happy
475
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:44,016
and that the person that
you're with makes you happy.
476
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:48,455
I care about you.
477
00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:50,064
That's nice.
478
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,110
I care about you, too.
479
00:19:56,696 --> 00:20:00,008
Maybe we could work
on communicating
480
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,885
what we need from each other.
481
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,053
Like a friendship contract.
482
00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:05,079
That's weird and clinical.
483
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,558
And I would love to.
484
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:09,917
Nice.
485
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:17,651
Narrator: And what was the
2% Killer planning to do
486
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:18,236
with a melon baller?
Find out in episode nine.
487
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:19,903
Oh, this is so good.
488
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:20,904
I bet you I know what he
does with the melon baller.
489
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,489
Play the next one. Come on.
490
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:23,490
No way. We've been
bingeing this for hours.
491
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:24,991
I got to send you off, dude.
492
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:28,328
Fine. I guess my
obituary writes itself.
493
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,664
Andrew Michaels was
a boring accountant
494
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:33,708
who worked behind a boring
desk and died a boring death.
495
00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:37,129
Andrew, you weren't
just an accountant
496
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:40,048
no, you were an
IRS special agent.
497
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,384
You carried a gun and a badge.
498
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,052
You put away white
collar criminals
499
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,595
and saved thousands of people
500
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:47,264
from being cheated of
their life savings.
501
00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:50,809
You weren't boring,
sir. You were a hero.
502
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:53,019
I did do that, didn't I? Mm-hmm.
503
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:56,565
Well, I guess I can live
without being murdered. Mm.
504
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,650
Thanks, Nell.
505
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:01,445
Oh, uh, FYI, you can't claim
Milk Duds as a work expenditure.
506
00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:02,696
Oh. Okay, time to
go. Yeah? Okay. Bye.
507
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,865
Bye.
508
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:07,475
Phew! Hmm.
509
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,752
It's very sweet, but does
this mean that you're here?
510
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:19,963
Lexi: If you're feeling
less angry now, then yes.
511
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,131
Ohh.38576
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