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1
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[Theme - "love boat"]
2
00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:18,184
Theme song: Love, exciting
and new, come aboard.
3
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:25,108
We're expecting you.
4
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:37,537
And love, life's sweetest
reward, let it flow.
5
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:42,292
It floats back to you.
6
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:50,800
The love boat, soon we'll
be making another run.
7
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:57,223
The love boat promises
something for every one.
8
00:00:57,307 --> 00:01:03,855
Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.
9
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:14,532
And love won't hurt anymore.
10
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:22,832
It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.
11
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:23,875
It's love.
12
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,839
Welcome aboard, it's love.
13
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:40,099
[Music playing]
14
00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,953
Excuse me, do
you have the time?
15
00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:00,703
Ah, yes, I do.
16
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,539
It's, uh, 20 minutes to 11:00.
17
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:02,872
You waiting for someone?
18
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,833
Yes.
19
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:05,875
I was hoping my watch
was fast, but it's
20
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,545
my date that's slow, as usual.
21
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,129
Well, you have plenty
of time before we sail.
22
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:12,173
I don't think you have
anything to worry about.
23
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,259
If you knew who I was sailing
with, you wouldn't say that.
24
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,976
Oh, hi, Barry.
25
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,894
I'm sorry I'm late,
but that darned taxi--
26
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,396
caught fire, had a flat,
got stuck in traffic.
27
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,356
The last.
28
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:28,815
Let's not fight, ok?
29
00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:30,525
Who's fighting?
30
00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:31,818
It never changes.
31
00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:32,735
We've been apart four
months, and I haven't fought
32
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,988
with a soul in four months.
33
00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:37,198
Maybe it's because
you didn't call.
34
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,742
Toni, I wanted to call,
but I was afraid to.
35
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,244
I didn't want to fight with you.
36
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:42,704
This has been painful.
37
00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:43,872
I didn't want to
make it more painful.
38
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:46,249
Then why did you call?
39
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,917
I mean, whatever
possessed you to invite me
40
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,252
on a trip like this with you?
41
00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:51,379
What possessed you to accept?
42
00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:52,422
It was a mistake.
43
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:53,256
I'm getting off, Barry.
44
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:54,090
Toni, wait.
45
00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:54,841
Hey.
46
00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:01,931
I'm getting married.
47
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:02,765
Married?
48
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,601
I thought we'd
take one last trip
49
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:07,604
to quietly talk over anything
we had to say to one another.
50
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:08,438
I think you've just said it.
51
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:10,773
We've had 17
years of marriage,
52
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,400
and there have been
some good times.
53
00:03:12,483 --> 00:03:15,361
But before the divorce is final,
and we start to, you know,
54
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,739
forget, you know, there are
things that we should say
55
00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:20,074
to one another, should settle.
56
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,451
Oh, boy.
57
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:22,785
Married.
58
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:26,080
One last time together.
59
00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:28,791
Our marriage started on
a good note, remember?
60
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,252
Let's make it end on one.
61
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:35,673
Well, I certainly hope you
have booked us separate cabins,
62
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:38,801
because there are limits.
63
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,304
I have booked us
separate cabins.
64
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:41,679
Enjoy your cruise.
65
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,306
Bye-bye.
66
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:44,682
[Shouting]
67
00:03:49,228 --> 00:03:50,563
[Whistling]
68
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:55,109
Who are these strange people?
69
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,445
Oh, gopher, we've
been expecting them.
70
00:03:57,528 --> 00:03:59,447
They're the royal
order of rhinos.
71
00:03:59,530 --> 00:03:59,739
And they're not strange.
72
00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:01,574
No?
73
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,743
Well, what would you
call a bunch of grown man
74
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:05,161
who run around in funny hats?
75
00:04:05,244 --> 00:04:07,664
A happy-go-lucky
bunch of conventioneers
76
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:10,041
out to have a good time.
77
00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:11,459
[Cheering]
78
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:13,044
[Buzz]
79
00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:13,836
Ow!
80
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:21,135
What kind of men are they?
81
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:24,055
Just a bunch of
happy-go-lucky conventioneers
82
00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:26,265
out to have a good time.
83
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:29,894
I'm telling you,
Wally, this cruise
84
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:33,147
could be just the thing to get
the old fires burning again.
85
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:34,274
There's no use, Russ.
86
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,858
The old pilot light is out.
87
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,068
Oh, will you stop
talking like that?
88
00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:39,195
Impotence is almost always--
89
00:04:39,278 --> 00:04:40,029
sh.
90
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:40,863
(Whispering)
--Always temporary.
91
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,449
You'll get over it.
92
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:44,534
I've tried everything.
93
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,536
I've eaten so many oysters
that every time I yawn,
94
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:47,704
I check for pearls.
95
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,706
Your problem isn't
what you're eating.
96
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,082
It's what's eating you.
97
00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:52,750
Have you thought about going
back to that psychiatrist?
98
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,377
No, are you kidding?
99
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,962
He charged me 50 bucks, and the
only worthwhile thing he ever
100
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:59,298
said to me was, your hour's up.
101
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,718
I should've sent
the bill to Alice.
102
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,177
She deserves it.
103
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,346
Boy, she was crazy to leave
you for that truck driver.
104
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:08,599
Yeah, I mean, who'd
want an Adonis like that
105
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,143
when she could have a--
106
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:11,185
a wimp like me.
107
00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,062
Listen to me, Wally,
you're a good-looking
108
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,314
guy who's got everything
in the world going for him.
109
00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:17,734
You've gotta forget Alice!
110
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,652
There are plenty
other fish in the sea.
111
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,279
[Music playing]
112
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:25,199
Here comes a pretty
sexy salmon right now.
113
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,414
Excuse me.
114
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:32,123
Hi.
115
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:32,874
Hi.
116
00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:34,417
I'm Sally thorner.
117
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:35,043
I wonder if you could
tell me the best
118
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:38,421
way to get to aloha 136.
119
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,923
Well, the best way would be
to have our handsome ship's
120
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,967
doctor personally escort you.
121
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:46,929
Well, what's the
second best way?
122
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,598
Through those doors
and to the left.
123
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:48,931
Thanks.
124
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:52,268
Mm-hm.
125
00:05:52,351 --> 00:05:53,644
Excuse me.
126
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:56,022
Could you tell us that
young lady's name?
127
00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:56,939
We're interested in mingling.
128
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,525
Nice mingle material.
129
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,027
Her name's Sally thorner.
130
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:03,738
Thanks.
131
00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:05,114
You know something, Wally?
132
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,700
I think she's just the right one
to get you to feel like you're
133
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:08,493
back in the ballgame.
134
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:09,702
Sure.
135
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,621
No, I'll say hello, and then
send in the pinch hitter.
136
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:17,126
[Buzz]
137
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,087
[Screams]
138
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,845
When I first heard about
rhinos coming aboard,
139
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,723
I was worried they
were real ones.
140
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:33,434
I'm not sure if we
wouldn't be better off.
141
00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:34,268
Oh, captain stubing.
142
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,478
Yes.
143
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:38,564
I'm Marv Mason, highest and
most exalted of all rhinos,
144
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:39,398
the head man.
145
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:42,276
Well, welcome
aboard, Mr. Mason.
146
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:42,860
This is my daughter Vicki.
- Vicki, how are you?
147
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,278
How do you do?
148
00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:45,154
Pleasure.
149
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,823
Do your members
always act this way?
150
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,074
Oh, no, captain.
151
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:49,325
They've been-- they've
been cautioned to be
152
00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:50,993
on their best behavior.
153
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:53,204
They're wonderful
fellas, all of them.
154
00:06:53,287 --> 00:06:54,497
Merrill stubing: I'm sure.
155
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,916
However, there are certain ship
board rules of conduct that
156
00:06:56,999 --> 00:06:58,000
must be observed at all times.
157
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,294
Oh, have no fear, captain.
158
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:02,505
The rhinos are a
responsible organization.
159
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:05,508
We're not as well known
as some of the others,
160
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:09,220
but we're heavily involved in
many charities-- hospitals,
161
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:11,514
schools, daycare centers.
162
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:12,640
All very worthy causes.
163
00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:13,933
Marv Mason: Oh, yes.
164
00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:16,686
And not only that, each year, we
choose a private citizen whose
165
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:21,232
character and whose work
exemplifies the high standards
166
00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:22,733
of the rhinos.
167
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:24,944
Matter of fact, that's
why I'm on this cruise.
168
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:26,404
I'm afraid I don't follow you.
169
00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:29,198
Captain stubing, it
is my great pleasure
170
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:32,118
to inform you that
you have been chosen
171
00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:33,870
the honorary rhino of the year.
172
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,872
Congratulations.
173
00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:36,706
Thank you.
174
00:07:39,458 --> 00:07:40,126
[Horn blowing]
175
00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:43,171
[Music playing]
176
00:08:05,484 --> 00:08:06,777
Mm, thank you very much.
177
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:09,405
Thank you.
178
00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:10,823
Hey, wall, look.
179
00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:16,787
Oh.
180
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:18,915
Well, why don't you
go over and talk to her?
181
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,082
No, no, no, no, I can't.
182
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,084
I-- I just get so awkward
around women these days.
183
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,377
I don't know.
184
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,379
It's-- I'd only embarrass
myself, all right?
185
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:26,672
Don't let it be
said that I didn't
186
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,382
give you the first crack.
187
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:30,134
Let an old pro show
you how it's done.
188
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,517
Excuse me, but aren't
you Sally thorner?
189
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:39,727
Why yes.
190
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,187
Have we met before?
191
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:42,230
No, I make it my
business to find
192
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:44,524
out the name of
the prettiest lady
193
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,150
within the three-mile limit.
194
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,735
Well, how nice.
195
00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:50,738
I hope you also make it
your business to introduce
196
00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:51,072
your good-looking friend.
197
00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:52,448
Sure.
198
00:08:52,531 --> 00:08:54,533
This is Wally denton, and i'm--
199
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,619
mm, nice to meet you, Wally.
200
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:57,453
Hi.
201
00:08:57,536 --> 00:08:58,496
I'm Russ Butler.
202
00:08:58,579 --> 00:08:59,747
Oh.
203
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:01,791
Well, I guess you two want
to be left alone, all right,
204
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:02,792
so I'll be on my way.
205
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:05,127
Oh, no, Wally, don't go.
206
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,837
I was hoping to get
to know you better.
207
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:11,175
Uh, well, believe
me, ignorance is bliss.
208
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,636
Besides, there's an afternoon
movie I want to see,
209
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:14,971
and I really think
it's about time--
210
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:15,429
Sally thorner: Ah!
211
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,723
Oh, I'm sorry!
212
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:18,474
I'm sorry.
213
00:09:18,557 --> 00:09:18,975
Oh, no, no, don't, it's fine.
214
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:19,976
I'm really sorry.
215
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:21,686
It's fine.
216
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:22,979
It's just ok.
217
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:25,648
I like a man who-- who
leaves an impression.
218
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,109
I'll see you later.
219
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:30,820
Woman: (On pa) Ladies and
gentleman, don't forget,
220
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:35,616
jackpot bingo starting in 10
minutes in the acapulco lounge.
221
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:36,492
Come try your luck.
222
00:09:36,575 --> 00:09:37,243
Mm.
223
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:44,083
Well, you've got the floor.
224
00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:45,167
Oh, no, not now.
225
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:48,504
It's such a beautiful day.
226
00:09:48,587 --> 00:09:49,297
Let's enjoy it.
227
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,094
You're gonna get burned.
228
00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:57,763
Here.
229
00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,974
You know I hate that junk.
230
00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:02,518
Well, at least put some
sunblock on your nose.
231
00:10:02,601 --> 00:10:03,519
It always gets so red.
232
00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:06,188
You know I can't stand
the smell of the stuff.
233
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,023
Don't put it on.
234
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,775
Ok!
235
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,027
You're a baby.
236
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,571
You know, you'll
always be a baby.
237
00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:14,572
Look at your neck.
238
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:16,240
Every morning of your
life, you wake up
239
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:17,491
and cut yourself
shaving and then
240
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:18,826
bleed all over your collar.
241
00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:20,369
I like the sight of my blood.
242
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,580
It reminds me that i'm
still alive when you haven't
243
00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:24,290
made love to me for two weeks.
244
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:25,958
Then you stand cursing
yourself in the mirror,
245
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:30,880
calling yourself every kind of
idiot, morning after morning.
246
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:34,091
Two weeks, my foot.
247
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:36,635
You listened.
248
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,388
17 years of marriage, I
never knew you listened.
249
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:42,516
I'm sorry, what
we were saying?
250
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,059
Ah.
251
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:46,479
[Music playing]
252
00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:58,407
Oh!
253
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,792
They're making
the captain what?
254
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:10,795
Honorary rhino of the year.
255
00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:13,255
If they did that
to me, I'd sue.
256
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:16,717
Mr. Mason, I'm puzzled
as to why your organization
257
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,427
would choose to honor me.
258
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,430
I'm a sea captain,
not a celebrity.
259
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,392
Oh, yes, but we look for the
unsung hero, the person whose
260
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:27,103
good work and high character
and charitable acts
261
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:29,021
often go unnoticed.
262
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:31,774
We believe that you
are this type of man.
263
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,359
Well, I'm flattered.
264
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:36,487
I'll do whatever I can to
live up to your expectations.
265
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,823
We're not worried one bit.
266
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:40,533
We're gonna have to be
on our guard, you guys.
267
00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,827
There's no telling what these
rhinos will try to pull.
268
00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,829
Oh, with their cattle
prods, exploding cigars,
269
00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:48,124
itching powder, we can
expect almost anything.
270
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:48,874
Ah, come on.
271
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,084
These guys can't be that bad.
272
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:51,836
Uh-oh.
273
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:52,545
Hm?
274
00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:55,631
[Music playing]
275
00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:57,925
[Screams] Ah!
276
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,181
Playing with water
balloons, Mr. Smith?
277
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:15,234
[Knocking]
278
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:18,154
Come in.
279
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:18,446
Hi.
280
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,030
Hi.
281
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:22,074
I just came by to
apologize for my friend.
282
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,284
Oh, that's ok.
283
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:24,326
A little ice cream
never hurt anyone.
284
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,495
Tell it to Wally.
285
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:30,374
He's so upset, he locked
himself in his room.
286
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,542
He's really down
on himself, isn't he?
287
00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:34,253
Precisely why I hired you.
288
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:36,464
I figured the only thing
that could possibly help
289
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,090
would be a sex surrogate.
290
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,341
I know.
291
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,886
But I hate being so
secretive about it.
292
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:44,472
We're supposed to be completely
open with our patients.
293
00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:47,558
Sally, the man's ego is shot.
294
00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:50,728
He needs to feel confident
and attractive again.
295
00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:53,606
Does it really make that much
of a difference if he doesn't
296
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:54,690
know you're a professional?
297
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,818
Mm, you've got a point.
298
00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,321
But getting Wally over
his inferiority complex
299
00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:02,072
is going to take time.
300
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:04,825
Well, you've got until
the end of the cruise.
301
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,285
Think you can do it?
302
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:07,870
I'll try.
303
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:11,123
It would help if the captain
could take the polar route.
304
00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:12,791
[Music playing]
305
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,180
Mm.
306
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:27,973
Thank you.
307
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:31,560
Oh, from an admirer.
308
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,729
Oh, it's just like
on our first date.
309
00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:38,150
Oh, you were so
beautiful that night.
310
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:41,737
Fortunately, some
things never change.
311
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,822
You rat.
312
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,574
Married.
313
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,868
Well, at least aren't you
going to tell me about her?
314
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:51,539
Her, you mean the
woman I'm marrying?
315
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:57,086
Well, she's, uh,
attractive, charming,
316
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,462
sensitive, intelligent.
317
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,798
I'm sure you'd like her.
318
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:01,465
I'm sure you're wrong.
319
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:04,760
Uh-uh, that's not funny.
320
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:10,099
I'm really glad you
could join us, Sally.
321
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:12,059
Well, how could I
pass up an invitation
322
00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:14,979
from two such charming escorts?
323
00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:20,484
You mean one charming
escort and one total clod.
324
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:24,154
Everything I do nowadays
always goes wrong.
325
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,657
You're too hard
on yourself, Wally.
326
00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:29,743
Instead of thinking about
the bad things in your life,
327
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:30,953
try concentrating
on the good things.
328
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:32,871
Well, right now, the
only good thing in my life
329
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:37,293
is this vichyssoise, and
it's really delicious.
330
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:37,626
May I have a taste?
331
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:38,085
Sure.
332
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:42,965
Wally.
333
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:50,639
I'm sorry, all right?
334
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,850
Try and forgive me, all right?
335
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:53,684
All right, I'll--
336
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:54,977
I'll forgive you
on one condition.
337
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,687
What's that?
338
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,314
That you take
me dancing later.
339
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:00,316
Oh, I was gonna ask you
to go dancing with me.
340
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,859
Sally thorner: You're
very sweet, Russ,
341
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:03,652
but Wally's more my type.
342
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,029
What are you, some
kind of masochist?
343
00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:08,407
No, just a woman who
enjoys your company.
344
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:12,494
Hey, Russ.
345
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:15,581
Yeah, Wally.
346
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:19,335
If I'm dreaming,
do me a favor.
347
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:20,377
Unplug my alarm clock.
348
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,802
Captain, I had to tell
everyone about your award.
349
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:31,639
It was just too monumental
for me to keep to myself.
350
00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:32,890
Mm-hm.
351
00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:34,183
I know how you feel.
352
00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:36,226
I can't wait to tell everyone
that I know that my father's
353
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,354
the rhino of the year.
354
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,689
On the other hand,
maybe I can wait.
355
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,358
Adam bricker: Vicki,
I'm surprised at you.
356
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,026
This puts your
father right up there
357
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:46,737
with immortals like the
grand marshal of the altoona
358
00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:47,655
arbor day parade.
359
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,281
Ok, all right, just a minute.
360
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:50,616
Let them laugh, sir.
361
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:51,867
Let them laugh,
but they obviously
362
00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:54,161
do not understand the grave
responsibility you now
363
00:15:54,244 --> 00:15:56,622
have of being the idol
of every man in america,
364
00:15:56,705 --> 00:16:00,000
who owns a whoopee cushion.
365
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:03,128
Well, your concern
touches me deeply.
366
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,546
So I'm sure that
one of you will be
367
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,548
happy to say a few
words on my behalf
368
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,218
at the award ceremony
tomorrow night.
369
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:11,261
You want one of us to speak?
370
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:13,347
Merrill stubing: Oh, it
was Mr. Mason's suggestion.
371
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:15,182
He didn't think any of his
group knew me well enough
372
00:16:15,265 --> 00:16:16,058
to praise me sufficiently.
373
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:16,892
Well, I wouldn't--
374
00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:18,102
I wouldn't mind.
375
00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:19,395
I'd be happy to.
376
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,855
Why don't you just settle this
all amongst yourselves later?
377
00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:22,564
I'm sorry I'm late.
378
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,066
Some important business came up.
379
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:25,984
Yeah, he had to reload
the exploding cigars.
380
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:29,947
No, we took care of
that before we boarded.
381
00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:31,490
Good thinking.
382
00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:35,035
Marv Mason: Mr. Smith, I know we
sometimes behave like overgrown
383
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,162
kids, but don't
you think everyone
384
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,123
should be able to take a joke?
385
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:41,125
Here's to a sense of humor.
386
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:41,917
Here, here.
387
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:42,501
Here, here.
388
00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:45,295
[Laughter]
389
00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:52,219
[Music playing]
390
00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:24,501
Oh, no one dances
just like you.
391
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,921
Oh, you've been dancing
with a lot of people?
392
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:29,465
Well, I have been dating.
393
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,425
Aha.
394
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:33,969
Anyone in particular?
395
00:17:34,052 --> 00:17:37,723
Well, there is someone who's
a little more particular.
396
00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:39,349
His name is Henry.
397
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:39,641
Henry?
398
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:40,642
Mm.
399
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,312
Henry, uh-huh.
400
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:44,646
And how does he dance?
401
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:48,859
Oh, he's a very good dancer.
402
00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:50,986
Not as good as you,
of course, but--
403
00:17:51,069 --> 00:17:52,154
you know all my moves.
404
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:55,991
[Laughs] Not only
on the dance floor.
405
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:04,041
Sally, I don't get it, why
a beautiful woman like you
406
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:06,168
would want to dance
with a klutz like me.
407
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:08,128
Well, why do you think?
408
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:08,962
Because I like you.
409
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:13,550
You're bright,
sensitive, virile.
410
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:17,679
[Scoffs] You ought
to check my biceps.
411
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:21,391
I'm about as virile
as a-- as a linguine.
412
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,352
Virility has nothing
to do with muscles.
413
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:29,525
True virility is having the
courage to show vulnerability.
414
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:30,651
You really think so?
415
00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:32,820
Of course I do.
416
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,071
[Applause]
417
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:35,322
[Music playing]
418
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:37,241
I'll be right back.
419
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:38,700
Going to powder my nose.
420
00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:47,376
Hi, Wally.
421
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:49,419
Hi.
422
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:51,338
You and Sally seem
to be quite an item.
423
00:18:51,421 --> 00:18:53,799
Yeah.
424
00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:55,217
It won't last long.
425
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:58,011
I'm, uh-- I'm only
gonna disappoint her.
426
00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:01,223
Well, why is that?
427
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,350
You're a doctor, right?
428
00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:07,604
Well, the fact of
the matter is, uh--
429
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:08,564
[coughs]
430
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,483
I'm (mumbling) Impotent.
431
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:12,276
What?
432
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:16,613
I'm, uh--
433
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,991
I'm impotent.
434
00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:19,825
Speak up.
435
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:20,909
I can't hear you.
436
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:21,743
[Music stops]
437
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:22,536
I'm impotent!
438
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:30,043
[Music playing]
439
00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:37,467
We have always been able
to have a good time together.
440
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:40,804
[Laughs] No argument there.
441
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:44,892
Oh, it's been such
a long time, Toni.
442
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:46,393
It's gonna be an
even longer time.
443
00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:49,313
Just one kiss for
old times sake, huh?
444
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:54,776
Mm.
445
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,320
Mm.
446
00:19:56,403 --> 00:20:01,617
Ooh, your aftershave lotion
always has gotten me sexy.
447
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,952
Let's make love.
448
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,579
What about your fiance?
449
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:06,121
Oh, she's grown up.
450
00:20:06,204 --> 00:20:08,957
She'll understand.
451
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,834
One last time.
452
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:13,962
Oh, your cabin or mine?
453
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:18,091
Mm, either cabin is ours
as long as we're in it.
454
00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:23,764
Crew: [All talking at once]
455
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:39,154
[Clears throat] It certainly
seems lively in here.
456
00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:41,365
Well, sir, we were just
trying to decide which one of us
457
00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:43,992
is going to speak at your
award ceremony tomorrow.
458
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,577
We all want to.
459
00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:46,662
Well, I'm flattered.
460
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,497
But why don't you
just take a vote?
461
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:49,331
We have.
462
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:50,874
Ended in a five-way tie.
463
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:53,168
Merrill, you'd better
make the selection.
464
00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:55,170
All right.
465
00:20:55,253 --> 00:20:57,047
Ah, hm.
466
00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:59,466
[Music playing]
467
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:07,683
Isaac.
468
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:10,435
Really?
469
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,479
Just kidding, sir.
470
00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:14,856
It would be a privilege.
471
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:19,361
[Music playing]
472
00:21:27,285 --> 00:21:29,705
Mm.
473
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:31,790
Sally this has been such a--
474
00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:34,209
a wonderful night.
475
00:21:34,292 --> 00:21:37,004
I just wish it didn't
have to end yet.
476
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:39,756
It doesn't, if we go back
to my cabin for a nightcap,
477
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:40,966
that is.
478
00:21:41,049 --> 00:21:41,675
Oh.
479
00:21:41,758 --> 00:21:43,010
[Clears throat] No, no, no.
480
00:21:43,093 --> 00:21:46,888
I-- see, I promised
myself that I would read,
481
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,683
uh, "war and peace" tonight.
482
00:21:49,766 --> 00:21:50,934
I'm sorry.
483
00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:52,561
I-- I guess I'm being a
little too aggressive.
484
00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:54,438
No.
485
00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:55,897
Well, it's just my
way of telling you
486
00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:58,900
how attractive I think you are.
487
00:21:58,984 --> 00:21:59,693
Really?
488
00:21:59,776 --> 00:22:00,610
Oh, yes.
489
00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:01,570
You think I'm attractive?
490
00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:03,905
Mm, very.
491
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:06,742
You know what else
I like about you?
492
00:22:06,825 --> 00:22:09,578
You're a gentleman.
493
00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:12,581
These days, it seems that
everybody expects you to--
494
00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:16,376
well, what I mean is,
after an evening like this,
495
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:17,711
that you're required
to make love.
496
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,425
And what do you expect?
497
00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:26,595
Oh, I've never been one
for command performances.
498
00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:29,181
[Music playing]
499
00:22:29,264 --> 00:22:31,266
Well, I think it's--
500
00:22:31,349 --> 00:22:34,728
it's nice if two people
can just cuddle up together
501
00:22:34,811 --> 00:22:37,606
and maybe share a kiss.
502
00:22:45,655 --> 00:22:48,116
Then we could stop right
there if we wanted to.
503
00:22:51,411 --> 00:22:53,371
Yeah, if we wanted to.
504
00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:02,964
Toni Cooper: Where
are you going?
505
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:04,049
Barry Cooper: You
just said I should go.
506
00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:05,967
You don't want me to go?
507
00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:08,720
I don't know what I want.
508
00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:09,554
Darn you.
509
00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:11,473
I was just beginning
to believe I
510
00:23:11,556 --> 00:23:14,017
was falling in love with a guy.
511
00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:16,436
And now you're not so sure?
512
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,773
Don't you feel even
the slightest bit guilty?
513
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,653
I don't know what I feel.
514
00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:26,196
I only know that i--
515
00:23:26,279 --> 00:23:29,407
well, I wanted to
find out if things
516
00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:31,076
were still the same between us.
517
00:23:31,159 --> 00:23:33,120
Aha.
518
00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:34,287
So it was a test.
519
00:23:34,371 --> 00:23:37,332
You know, I think
that's just what
520
00:23:37,415 --> 00:23:38,416
went wrong with our marriage.
521
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:40,669
You were always testing me.
522
00:23:40,752 --> 00:23:42,337
See if she'll get
somewhere on time.
523
00:23:42,420 --> 00:23:44,131
If not, I fail.
524
00:23:44,214 --> 00:23:46,883
When I want to put sun
lotion on you, I fail again.
525
00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:50,011
For 17 years, I gave
you everything I had.
526
00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:51,680
And as far as I'm concerned,
I passed the test.
527
00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:52,347
[Phone ringing]
528
00:23:52,430 --> 00:23:54,307
You're the one who failed.
529
00:23:54,391 --> 00:23:55,559
Hello.
530
00:23:55,642 --> 00:23:58,019
Oh, hello, Henry.
531
00:23:58,103 --> 00:24:00,522
No, you didn't wake me up.
532
00:24:00,605 --> 00:24:04,317
I was, uh, reading.
533
00:24:04,401 --> 00:24:05,694
What?
534
00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:07,070
Uncomfortable?
535
00:24:07,154 --> 00:24:08,780
No, no, what makes you say that?
536
00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:10,532
[Music playing]
537
00:24:10,615 --> 00:24:11,783
No, there's no one else here.
538
00:24:17,164 --> 00:24:19,457
I'm all by myself.
539
00:24:19,541 --> 00:24:21,877
[Music playing]
540
00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:43,732
[Laughter]
541
00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:44,441
Man: Captain!
542
00:24:44,524 --> 00:24:45,567
Captain, oh.
543
00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:45,984
You look terrific.
I love it.
544
00:24:46,067 --> 00:24:47,611
I love it.
545
00:24:47,694 --> 00:24:48,528
Thank you.
546
00:24:48,612 --> 00:24:50,197
Thank you.
547
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,365
I'll catch up with you later.
548
00:24:52,449 --> 00:24:53,074
Mr. Mason.
549
00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:54,576
Captain, how are you?
550
00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:56,912
Oh, look, did you choose anyone
from the crew to speak yet?
551
00:24:56,995 --> 00:24:58,163
Yes, Isaac.
552
00:24:58,246 --> 00:24:59,414
I don't remember meeting him.
553
00:24:59,497 --> 00:25:03,084
He's our chief barman,
Isaac Washington.
554
00:25:03,168 --> 00:25:06,588
The, um-- the black
fella with the mustache?
555
00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:08,381
Yes, that's him all right.
556
00:25:08,465 --> 00:25:11,968
He's a very special
person, bright and witty.
557
00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:13,553
I know your members
will enjoy him.
558
00:25:13,637 --> 00:25:16,097
Hey, Marv, you coming or what?
559
00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:17,599
In a minute.
560
00:25:17,682 --> 00:25:21,311
Uh, captain stubing, uh, i'm
afraid I'm gonna have to ask
561
00:25:21,394 --> 00:25:22,854
you to choose someone else.
562
00:25:22,938 --> 00:25:25,774
He, um-- he wouldn't fit in.
563
00:25:25,857 --> 00:25:26,524
[Music playing]
564
00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:27,108
He wouldn't fit in?
565
00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:30,487
Rhino: Marv, let's go!
566
00:25:30,570 --> 00:25:33,615
Look, captain, we're an
old fashioned organization.
567
00:25:33,698 --> 00:25:36,201
We have certain rules.
568
00:25:36,284 --> 00:25:39,246
Why don't you choose
someone else, anybody, ok?
569
00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:41,498
Ok, rhinos, here I come.
570
00:25:50,048 --> 00:25:53,343
[Music playing]
571
00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:56,721
[Knocking]
572
00:26:05,897 --> 00:26:07,857
Hi.
573
00:26:07,941 --> 00:26:08,650
Hello.
574
00:26:13,113 --> 00:26:15,824
Sorry about last night.
575
00:26:15,907 --> 00:26:19,661
I mean, I'm sorry
I just walked out.
576
00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:21,329
I'm sorry, too.
577
00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:24,499
I failed your test, didn't I?
578
00:26:24,582 --> 00:26:25,500
I went to bed with you even
though you're getting married,
579
00:26:25,583 --> 00:26:28,420
but I failed your
test after all.
580
00:26:28,503 --> 00:26:31,172
You said it
before, I'm a baby.
581
00:26:31,256 --> 00:26:35,677
So now, let me be a man and
invite you to breakfast.
582
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,262
Just give me a
minute to fix my face.
583
00:26:41,057 --> 00:26:41,766
You look fine.
584
00:26:45,395 --> 00:26:46,688
You always have.
585
00:26:46,771 --> 00:26:49,441
[Music playing]
586
00:26:49,524 --> 00:26:50,525
Isaac Washington:
Ok, I'm finished,
587
00:26:50,608 --> 00:26:53,194
but I need an opening
joke for the captain's
588
00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:54,029
award speech tonight.
589
00:26:54,112 --> 00:26:56,114
So help me, come on.
590
00:26:56,197 --> 00:26:57,532
Why don't you just
hit yourself in the face
591
00:26:57,615 --> 00:26:58,074
with a pie.
The rhinos would love that.
592
00:26:58,158 --> 00:27:00,243
That's right.
593
00:27:00,327 --> 00:27:02,037
Their sense of humor does
tend to be a bit juvenile.
594
00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:04,205
As a juvenile, I resent that.
595
00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:05,040
- Morning, folks.
- Morning.
596
00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:06,207
Morning.
597
00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:08,084
Could you tell a
herd of hungry rhinos
598
00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:09,753
where we can get some
chow around here?
599
00:27:09,836 --> 00:27:11,379
Breakfast is served
on the starlight deck,
600
00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:12,547
and it's through those
doors to your right.
601
00:27:12,630 --> 00:27:14,924
Pete, I hope you
brought the rubber eggs.
602
00:27:15,008 --> 00:27:15,675
Ha ha, he's kidding.
603
00:27:15,759 --> 00:27:16,885
It's the eggs are plastic.
604
00:27:16,968 --> 00:27:18,094
It's the bacon that's rubber.
605
00:27:18,178 --> 00:27:20,221
Come on.
606
00:27:20,305 --> 00:27:21,848
Go for a laugh and the
whole world laughs with you.
607
00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:27,312
Boy, with practical
jokers like these guys,
608
00:27:27,395 --> 00:27:29,064
you got to be on your
toes every second.
609
00:27:29,147 --> 00:27:30,857
Well, looks like they
caught you flatfooted.
610
00:27:34,819 --> 00:27:35,570
Cute.
611
00:27:35,653 --> 00:27:36,571
Isaac Washington: Nice.
612
00:27:36,654 --> 00:27:37,906
Good morning.
613
00:27:37,989 --> 00:27:39,032
Oh, good morning, sir.
614
00:27:39,115 --> 00:27:40,158
I'm glad you're here.
615
00:27:40,241 --> 00:27:42,327
I have a few questions about
the seating arrangement
616
00:27:42,410 --> 00:27:43,787
for the award ceremony tonight.
617
00:27:43,870 --> 00:27:46,831
Oh, well, I'm not sure there's
gonna be any award ceremony.
618
00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:47,582
- Why not?
- What?
619
00:27:47,665 --> 00:27:48,458
Julie McCoy: Why not, yeah?
620
00:27:48,541 --> 00:27:49,459
Merrill stubing:
Well, I just don't
621
00:27:49,542 --> 00:27:50,835
think I'd feel right
accepting an award
622
00:27:50,919 --> 00:27:51,419
from a group like the rhinos.
623
00:27:51,503 --> 00:27:53,588
Aw, come on, captain.
624
00:27:53,671 --> 00:27:56,091
They don't mean any
harm, just a bunch
625
00:27:56,174 --> 00:27:57,217
of guys out for a little fun.
626
00:27:57,300 --> 00:28:00,095
Well, they just don't seem
to be my kind of people.
627
00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:02,555
Isaac Washington: Sir, aren't
you being a little unfair?
628
00:28:02,639 --> 00:28:03,848
I mean, look at all
the great charity
629
00:28:03,932 --> 00:28:06,935
work they do and all those
daycare centers they built.
630
00:28:07,018 --> 00:28:08,436
Doesn't that say
something for them?
631
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:09,729
Yes, Isaac.
632
00:28:09,813 --> 00:28:12,107
It just doesn't say enough.
633
00:28:12,190 --> 00:28:15,110
[Music playing]
634
00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:31,459
Beautiful morning, huh, Russ?
635
00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:34,587
Well, if isn't the
great Houdini, the man who
636
00:28:34,671 --> 00:28:35,255
vanishes from the
dance floor and doesn't
637
00:28:35,338 --> 00:28:37,465
reappear till breakfast.
638
00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:40,009
Well, actually,
Sally is the magician.
639
00:28:40,093 --> 00:28:41,636
I mean, she just
took all my troubles
640
00:28:41,719 --> 00:28:45,014
and made them vanish
into thin air.
641
00:28:45,098 --> 00:28:47,350
Really, all your troubles?
642
00:28:47,434 --> 00:28:52,814
(Laughing) Hey,
way to go, Wally.
643
00:28:52,897 --> 00:28:54,149
Actually, you know, I, uh--
644
00:28:54,232 --> 00:28:57,777
I just left her in the cabin,
and I just miss her already.
645
00:28:57,861 --> 00:29:00,697
You know, she is so beautiful
when she's sleeping.
646
00:29:00,780 --> 00:29:03,074
I just didn't have
the heart to wake her.
647
00:29:03,158 --> 00:29:04,325
Yeah, I'm sure.
648
00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:07,829
Well, now's your chance to
meet some other lovely ladies.
649
00:29:07,912 --> 00:29:08,913
Well, no.
650
00:29:08,997 --> 00:29:10,957
As far as I'm concerned,
there are no other ladies.
651
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,667
What are talking about, Wally?
652
00:29:12,750 --> 00:29:16,296
Now that you're cured, there's
a whole world of beautiful women
653
00:29:16,379 --> 00:29:17,672
out there for you to explore.
654
00:29:17,755 --> 00:29:20,758
Well, the only exploring i'm
gonna do is in the gift shop.
655
00:29:20,842 --> 00:29:22,510
I'm gonna go buy Sally the--
656
00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:24,137
the perfect present.
657
00:29:24,220 --> 00:29:26,347
Wally, don't you think you're
getting a little carried away?
658
00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:27,348
You've only known her one day.
659
00:29:27,432 --> 00:29:30,852
It happens to be the
one day I fell in love.
660
00:29:30,935 --> 00:29:31,603
See you later.
661
00:29:31,686 --> 00:29:32,395
Wha--
662
00:29:34,272 --> 00:29:36,566
[sighs]
663
00:29:39,110 --> 00:29:42,197
Well, don't you want
to know about him?
664
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:43,490
Henry.
665
00:29:43,573 --> 00:29:44,407
The guy on the phone?
666
00:29:44,491 --> 00:29:46,326
Oh no, forgot it.
667
00:29:46,409 --> 00:29:47,035
You don't have to
tell me about him.
668
00:29:47,118 --> 00:29:48,870
He's a real estate broker.
669
00:29:48,953 --> 00:29:51,498
I met him when I was thinking
of selling the house,
670
00:29:51,581 --> 00:29:52,707
after you walked out.
671
00:29:52,790 --> 00:29:54,626
Toni, you don't have to put
yourself through all this.
672
00:29:54,709 --> 00:29:55,543
Forget it.
673
00:29:55,627 --> 00:29:59,088
I was lonely,
depressed and lonely.
674
00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:02,175
I didn't care what
happened to me.
675
00:30:02,258 --> 00:30:07,639
I felt like I had failed, and
I couldn't figure out why.
676
00:30:07,722 --> 00:30:12,894
[Sighs] So I started seeing
Henry, and it helped.
677
00:30:12,977 --> 00:30:15,688
He was there when I needed him.
678
00:30:15,772 --> 00:30:17,941
I think I fell in
love with that.
679
00:30:18,024 --> 00:30:19,901
But is he what you want?
680
00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:21,569
We don't fight.
681
00:30:21,653 --> 00:30:23,404
Is he what you want?
682
00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:25,281
He accepts what
I have to give.
683
00:30:25,365 --> 00:30:26,407
He doesn't test me.
684
00:30:26,491 --> 00:30:27,909
Just answer me.
685
00:30:27,992 --> 00:30:30,453
What I want doesn't
seem to matter.
686
00:30:30,537 --> 00:30:33,414
What I want seems too
late for me to have.
687
00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:35,833
What I don't want is pain.
688
00:30:35,917 --> 00:30:37,168
I have had pain.
689
00:30:37,252 --> 00:30:38,753
Pain is no damn fun.
690
00:30:38,836 --> 00:30:40,797
Thanks for breakfast.
691
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:42,840
[Music playing]
692
00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:51,307
Oh, hi, Isaac.
693
00:30:51,391 --> 00:30:52,225
Hi.
694
00:30:52,308 --> 00:30:53,351
Isn't the captain around?
695
00:30:53,434 --> 00:30:55,144
Oh, he's up on the
bridge steering the ship.
696
00:30:55,228 --> 00:30:57,397
It's a habit we can't
seem to break him of.
697
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,857
Well, I got this message
he wanted to see me.
698
00:30:59,941 --> 00:31:00,984
He said it was important.
699
00:31:01,067 --> 00:31:02,026
Oh, don't worry.
700
00:31:02,110 --> 00:31:03,319
You should be able to
reach him after we dock.
701
00:31:03,403 --> 00:31:04,821
Hm.
702
00:31:04,904 --> 00:31:05,947
Well, I'm going into town with
some of the guys for a while.
703
00:31:06,030 --> 00:31:09,701
Oh, it was probably about
the introductory speech
704
00:31:09,784 --> 00:31:10,451
for tonight.
705
00:31:10,535 --> 00:31:11,828
Ah.
706
00:31:11,911 --> 00:31:14,581
Oh, by the way, no hard
feelings about us bumping you
707
00:31:14,664 --> 00:31:17,792
out of the ceremony, are there?
708
00:31:17,875 --> 00:31:23,381
Uh, oh, no, no,
no hard feelings.
709
00:31:23,464 --> 00:31:27,594
Well, you know, Isaac, I have
nothing against you personally.
710
00:31:27,677 --> 00:31:29,637
I know you'll understand.
711
00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:31,264
[Music playing]
712
00:31:31,347 --> 00:31:36,185
Yeah, I understand.
713
00:31:36,269 --> 00:31:38,980
[Music playing]
714
00:31:40,231 --> 00:31:42,317
Woman: (On pa) Buenos
dias, and welcome
715
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:43,776
to puerto vallarta,
where the temperature
716
00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:46,321
is a glorious 83 degrees.
717
00:31:46,404 --> 00:31:47,989
Perfect weather
for a perfect day
718
00:31:48,072 --> 00:31:50,366
of swimming,
parasailing, or just
719
00:31:50,450 --> 00:31:51,743
browsing through the many
charming shops in town.
720
00:31:51,826 --> 00:31:55,121
However you plan
to spend your day,
721
00:31:55,204 --> 00:31:57,999
we guarantee you a
[Speaking Spanish]
722
00:32:12,388 --> 00:32:13,848
- [Sighs]
- Hi, Russ.
723
00:32:13,931 --> 00:32:15,058
You wanted to see me?
724
00:32:15,141 --> 00:32:17,018
Well, I've heard of
overnight successes,
725
00:32:17,101 --> 00:32:18,227
but you are a miracle worker.
726
00:32:18,311 --> 00:32:21,522
[Scoffs] Well, I don't think
it ranks with the parting
727
00:32:21,606 --> 00:32:23,608
of the red sea, but thank you.
728
00:32:23,691 --> 00:32:24,984
Well, there may
be one problem.
729
00:32:25,068 --> 00:32:27,195
You may have done
too good a job.
730
00:32:27,278 --> 00:32:28,488
What do you mean?
731
00:32:28,571 --> 00:32:31,032
Wally told me he's
in love with you.
732
00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:31,741
He did?
733
00:32:31,824 --> 00:32:34,077
[Laughs] Yeah, crazy, huh?
734
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,412
Next time you send one of your
patients to seventh heaven,
735
00:32:36,496 --> 00:32:39,957
you better try a
no-frills flight.
736
00:32:40,041 --> 00:32:42,794
Here you go, $500.
737
00:32:42,877 --> 00:32:44,337
Thanks for bringing
Wally back to life.
738
00:32:46,839 --> 00:32:50,051
He paid you to be with me?
739
00:32:50,134 --> 00:32:50,760
Wally, i--
740
00:32:50,843 --> 00:32:52,762
forget it, Sally.
741
00:32:52,845 --> 00:32:55,139
You've done your job.
742
00:32:55,223 --> 00:32:56,599
You don't have to work overtime.
743
00:32:56,683 --> 00:32:59,560
[Music playing]
744
00:33:06,317 --> 00:33:07,819
[Knocking]
745
00:33:07,902 --> 00:33:09,821
Come in.
746
00:33:09,904 --> 00:33:11,906
Uh, captain, can I
talk to you for a minute?
747
00:33:11,989 --> 00:33:15,576
Of course, Isaac, come on in.
748
00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:18,287
I know why you're thinking
of canceling the awards
749
00:33:18,371 --> 00:33:20,581
ceremony this evening.
750
00:33:20,665 --> 00:33:22,083
I ran into Marv Mason, and
he kind of let it slip.
751
00:33:25,628 --> 00:33:27,755
I'm sorry.
752
00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:28,756
Sit down.
753
00:33:31,592 --> 00:33:34,011
I, uh, didn't mean for
you to find out, Isaac.
754
00:33:34,095 --> 00:33:35,972
Oh, please, sir,
let me finish.
755
00:33:36,055 --> 00:33:39,475
I want you to
accept the award.
756
00:33:39,559 --> 00:33:41,269
You want me to
accept the award?
757
00:33:41,352 --> 00:33:42,937
Why?
758
00:33:43,020 --> 00:33:44,272
Well, because you deserve it.
759
00:33:44,355 --> 00:33:47,608
And I don't want your loyalty
to me to deprive you of an honor
760
00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:49,485
that you've earned.
761
00:33:49,569 --> 00:33:51,529
Isaac, I can't
in good conscience
762
00:33:51,612 --> 00:33:54,115
accept an award from
a group of racists.
763
00:33:54,198 --> 00:33:57,285
Sir, I've dealt with
people like that before,
764
00:33:57,368 --> 00:34:00,163
and I found that racism
comes from ignorance.
765
00:34:00,246 --> 00:34:02,623
But I've been thinking
about this a lot.
766
00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:06,210
It's kind of a dilemma, because
they have done some good work
767
00:34:06,294 --> 00:34:08,504
and that should
not be dismissed.
768
00:34:08,588 --> 00:34:10,173
That's what the
award is all about,
769
00:34:10,256 --> 00:34:11,841
doing good work for people.
770
00:34:11,924 --> 00:34:13,634
And they want to recognize you
for the good work you've done.
771
00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:16,053
Oh, I don't know, Isaac.
772
00:34:16,137 --> 00:34:17,764
Sir, I appreciate
how you feel.
773
00:34:17,847 --> 00:34:22,977
And believe me, I
love you for it.
774
00:34:23,060 --> 00:34:26,522
But I want you to
accept the award.
775
00:34:26,606 --> 00:34:27,398
Please.
776
00:34:27,482 --> 00:34:29,067
[Music playing]
777
00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:29,859
Do it?
778
00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:34,322
All right, Isaac, if
that's what you want.
779
00:34:34,405 --> 00:34:36,157
Good.
780
00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:37,450
And as far your
introductory speech
781
00:34:37,533 --> 00:34:40,411
goes, I'm sure you can get
gopher or doc to replace me.
782
00:34:40,495 --> 00:34:43,414
They might be able to
give your speech, Isaac,
783
00:34:43,498 --> 00:34:45,541
but no one can replace you.
784
00:34:45,625 --> 00:34:48,002
Thank you, sir.
785
00:35:00,848 --> 00:35:03,226
[Music playing]
786
00:35:09,941 --> 00:35:14,237
Wally, I have to talk to you.
787
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:16,197
I don't know why.
788
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,908
You see, I didn't
know that you were--
789
00:35:18,991 --> 00:35:22,203
well, how should
I put it, a, uh--
790
00:35:22,286 --> 00:35:24,539
a lady of the evening.
791
00:35:24,622 --> 00:35:25,790
A lady of the evening?
792
00:35:25,873 --> 00:35:28,084
Is that what you think I am?
793
00:35:30,837 --> 00:35:34,048
I am a professional
sex surrogate.
794
00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:36,217
A what?
795
00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:37,301
A sex surrogate.
796
00:35:37,385 --> 00:35:40,638
I help people with sexual
problems overcome them.
797
00:35:43,307 --> 00:35:45,143
Just because you put a
fancy title on it, you know,
798
00:35:45,226 --> 00:35:46,269
it doesn't change anything.
799
00:35:46,352 --> 00:35:47,645
I'm still just another
paycheck to you, aren't I?
800
00:35:47,728 --> 00:35:50,064
No, that's not so.
801
00:35:50,147 --> 00:35:53,067
I have very strong
feelings for you.
802
00:35:53,150 --> 00:35:54,277
How can I believe that?
803
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,028
You haven't been truthful
with me on this whole trip!
804
00:35:56,112 --> 00:35:57,947
Well, I'm being truthful now.
805
00:35:58,030 --> 00:35:59,198
And Wally, last night
was magic for me.
806
00:36:03,703 --> 00:36:06,122
It was magic for me, too.
807
00:36:06,205 --> 00:36:10,167
I just didn't know
that I was the trick.
808
00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:12,170
[Music playing]
809
00:36:26,434 --> 00:36:26,642
Oh, hi.
810
00:36:26,726 --> 00:36:29,228
Hi.
811
00:36:29,312 --> 00:36:30,771
You're just in time
to join the celebration.
812
00:36:30,855 --> 00:36:36,027
Ah, what are we celebrating?
813
00:36:36,110 --> 00:36:37,945
I've just talked with Henry.
814
00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:41,199
He's asked me to marry him.
815
00:36:41,282 --> 00:36:43,534
And what did you say?
816
00:36:43,618 --> 00:36:44,577
I said I would think about it.
817
00:36:47,455 --> 00:36:48,706
And?
818
00:36:48,789 --> 00:36:52,418
And I told him I loved him.
819
00:36:52,501 --> 00:36:54,003
You lied?
820
00:36:54,086 --> 00:36:54,962
Did I?
821
00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:57,965
[Music playing]
822
00:37:01,469 --> 00:37:02,970
Woman: (On pa)
Ladies and gentlemen,
823
00:37:03,054 --> 00:37:04,805
we hoped you enjoyed
your stay in port.
824
00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:07,224
As we head home, don't forget
you're all invited to join us
825
00:37:07,308 --> 00:37:10,519
at 8 o'clock in the acapulco
lounge, where our very
826
00:37:10,603 --> 00:37:12,730
own captain stubing
will be honored
827
00:37:12,813 --> 00:37:16,192
by the royal order of rhinos
as their man of the year.
828
00:37:16,275 --> 00:37:16,317
See you there.
829
00:37:28,245 --> 00:37:30,331
Wally, I'm sorry
about what happened,
830
00:37:30,414 --> 00:37:34,377
but there's something I
think you should know.
831
00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:34,502
Sally gave me back my check.
832
00:37:38,255 --> 00:37:40,132
She did?
833
00:37:40,216 --> 00:37:42,760
Yeah, she said she didn't
feel right accepting the money.
834
00:37:45,596 --> 00:37:46,514
I wonder why.
835
00:37:46,597 --> 00:37:48,849
If you had a brain,
you'd figured it out.
836
00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:50,268
She doesn't care
about the money.
837
00:37:50,351 --> 00:37:52,186
All she cares about is you.
838
00:37:52,269 --> 00:37:53,646
[Music playing]
839
00:37:53,729 --> 00:37:56,440
Really?
840
00:37:56,524 --> 00:38:00,403
Yeah, and if I were you,
I wouldn't want to blow it.
841
00:38:00,486 --> 00:38:03,489
[Sighs] Thanks.
842
00:38:03,572 --> 00:38:04,740
I'm afraid I already did.
843
00:38:04,824 --> 00:38:08,536
[Music playing]
844
00:38:08,953 --> 00:38:12,164
[Applause]
845
00:38:18,629 --> 00:38:20,840
Ladies and gentlemen,
brother rhinos.
846
00:38:20,923 --> 00:38:22,133
[Cheering]
847
00:38:26,470 --> 00:38:29,849
As you know, we're
gathered here tonight
848
00:38:29,932 --> 00:38:33,144
to pay tribute to a man
whose exemplary citizenship
849
00:38:33,227 --> 00:38:37,064
upholds the policy
of our organization's
850
00:38:37,148 --> 00:38:38,566
charity and goodwill.
851
00:38:44,613 --> 00:38:48,451
But before we meet
our honored guests,
852
00:38:48,534 --> 00:38:51,287
I think you'd like to hear
a little more about him
853
00:38:51,370 --> 00:38:55,082
from one of his loyal
crew, Dr. Adam bricker.
854
00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:56,083
Dr. Bricker.
855
00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:56,792
[Cheering]
856
00:38:56,876 --> 00:38:59,128
[Music playing]
857
00:39:07,178 --> 00:39:10,931
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm very proud to be
858
00:39:11,015 --> 00:39:14,393
introducing the recipient
of this award tonight.
859
00:39:14,477 --> 00:39:18,230
I think I speak for all our
crew when I say we couldn't work
860
00:39:18,314 --> 00:39:21,484
for a kinder, more humane man.
861
00:39:21,567 --> 00:39:24,278
I couldn't begin to list
his many charitable acts.
862
00:39:24,361 --> 00:39:28,240
But I know to the kids in
the acapulco orphanage,
863
00:39:28,324 --> 00:39:31,660
he's the real Santa claus,
because he consistently
864
00:39:31,744 --> 00:39:33,746
goes out of his
way to help those
865
00:39:33,829 --> 00:39:37,124
less fortunate than himself.
866
00:39:37,208 --> 00:39:42,296
There is no one who deserves
this honor more than
867
00:39:42,379 --> 00:39:45,466
our captain, merrill stubing.
868
00:39:45,549 --> 00:39:47,510
[Music playing]
869
00:39:57,019 --> 00:39:59,396
Captain stubing,
it is my great honor
870
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:03,943
to present you with
this plaque, making you
871
00:40:04,026 --> 00:40:06,737
our honorary rhino of the year.
872
00:40:06,821 --> 00:40:09,365
[Cheering]
873
00:40:11,867 --> 00:40:14,829
Man: Who's driving
the ship, huh?
874
00:40:14,912 --> 00:40:15,663
Thank you.
875
00:40:17,748 --> 00:40:22,253
A moment ago, Dr. Bricker gave
me some wonderful compliments.
876
00:40:22,336 --> 00:40:25,381
He even said that,
uh, he couldn't
877
00:40:25,464 --> 00:40:27,842
work for a more humane man.
878
00:40:27,925 --> 00:40:30,344
Now, I don't know
how humane I am.
879
00:40:30,427 --> 00:40:34,223
But I know I wouldn't
consider myself humane
880
00:40:34,306 --> 00:40:35,975
if I accepted this award.
881
00:40:36,058 --> 00:40:37,518
[Crowd murmuring]
882
00:40:43,774 --> 00:40:49,530
Because ladies and gentlemen,
one of my closest and dearest
883
00:40:49,613 --> 00:40:54,034
friends, Mr. Isaac
Washington, is not
884
00:40:54,118 --> 00:40:55,244
allowed membership
in the organization
885
00:40:55,327 --> 00:40:57,872
that's giving me this award.
886
00:40:57,955 --> 00:40:58,956
[Music playing]
887
00:40:59,039 --> 00:41:00,541
You know, up to
this very moment,
888
00:41:00,624 --> 00:41:02,877
I expected to accept
this, because Isaac
889
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:07,715
urged me to, saying the
rhinos do some good works.
890
00:41:07,798 --> 00:41:12,553
That's just an
example of Isaac being
891
00:41:12,636 --> 00:41:16,223
a lot better than some
people who consider
892
00:41:16,307 --> 00:41:20,019
themselves his betters.
893
00:41:20,102 --> 00:41:27,651
And so Mr. Mason, I have to
refuse being named honorary
894
00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:32,656
rhino of the year, since
the year in question
895
00:41:32,740 --> 00:41:34,700
seems to be the year
of the dinosaur.
896
00:41:47,004 --> 00:41:50,716
[Music playing]
897
00:42:07,816 --> 00:42:10,903
[Whistling] We have to
stop meeting like this.
898
00:42:10,986 --> 00:42:14,907
We will.
899
00:42:14,990 --> 00:42:17,993
Barry, what do you want?
900
00:42:18,077 --> 00:42:21,413
I want you to
come to my wedding.
901
00:42:21,497 --> 00:42:23,165
Your gall knows no bounds.
902
00:42:23,249 --> 00:42:24,625
No, honey, just a second.
903
00:42:24,708 --> 00:42:28,128
At least look at the
invitation, will you?
904
00:42:28,212 --> 00:42:30,047
I don't want to read
your wedding invitation.
905
00:42:30,130 --> 00:42:32,758
Please, look at it.
906
00:42:35,803 --> 00:42:36,971
[Music playing]
907
00:42:37,054 --> 00:42:39,974
Toni Cooper: Mr. Barry Cooper,
having come to his senses,
908
00:42:40,057 --> 00:42:45,688
wishes to have the presence of
Mrs. Toni Cooper at the wedding
909
00:42:45,771 --> 00:42:47,690
of himself to her?
910
00:42:47,773 --> 00:42:48,941
Where did you get this?
911
00:42:49,024 --> 00:42:50,150
I've had it for weeks.
912
00:42:50,234 --> 00:42:52,486
Well, what about the other
woman you were gonna marry?
913
00:42:52,569 --> 00:42:54,905
There isn't any
other woman, Toni.
914
00:42:54,989 --> 00:42:56,782
You and I have been
apart for four months,
915
00:42:56,865 --> 00:42:57,866
and every day I say, why?
916
00:42:57,950 --> 00:43:00,494
I love you.
917
00:43:00,577 --> 00:43:02,288
And you can't say you
don't love me, too.
918
00:43:02,371 --> 00:43:04,665
You can't argue with that.
919
00:43:04,748 --> 00:43:07,042
No, I can't.
920
00:43:07,126 --> 00:43:10,004
Toni, we can't
rub out the past,
921
00:43:10,087 --> 00:43:11,964
but we can start a
great new future.
922
00:43:12,047 --> 00:43:14,842
Just like that?
923
00:43:14,925 --> 00:43:16,844
Let's give it a shot.
924
00:43:16,927 --> 00:43:17,386
What do you say?
925
00:43:17,469 --> 00:43:20,347
I say you're crazy.
926
00:43:20,431 --> 00:43:23,851
Maybe I'm just as crazy,
'cause I sure want to try.
927
00:43:23,934 --> 00:43:26,812
Oh, Toni.
928
00:43:26,895 --> 00:43:26,937
Mm.
929
00:43:43,495 --> 00:43:46,123
Ok, Mr. Stevens,
come on inside.
930
00:43:46,206 --> 00:43:47,124
I know just how to cure you.
931
00:43:52,629 --> 00:43:54,381
All right, you,
get outta here!
932
00:43:54,465 --> 00:43:56,508
Wally, what do you
think you're doing?
933
00:43:56,592 --> 00:43:58,844
I will not stand by and let
you have sex with this man!
934
00:43:58,927 --> 00:44:00,220
Sex?
935
00:44:00,304 --> 00:44:03,557
I was just helping Mr.
Stevens get rid of his hiccups.
936
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:04,933
Hiccups?
937
00:44:05,017 --> 00:44:06,352
Yeah, but you just
scared them out of me,
938
00:44:06,435 --> 00:44:08,937
pal, so if you'll excuse me.
939
00:44:16,987 --> 00:44:17,905
I'm, uh--
940
00:44:17,988 --> 00:44:18,947
I'm sorry, Sally.
941
00:44:19,031 --> 00:44:21,450
I just got so jealous
when I thought he was
942
00:44:21,533 --> 00:44:22,743
another one of your clients.
943
00:44:22,826 --> 00:44:23,786
Patients.
944
00:44:23,869 --> 00:44:25,245
You don't have to worry
about it much longer.
945
00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:26,914
I'm thinking of retiring.
946
00:44:26,997 --> 00:44:28,957
You are?
947
00:44:29,041 --> 00:44:31,001
Why?
948
00:44:31,085 --> 00:44:32,378
Because a good sex surrogate
doesn't get personally
949
00:44:32,461 --> 00:44:35,839
involved with her patients.
950
00:44:35,923 --> 00:44:38,842
You've got to be really terrible
to fall in love with one.
951
00:44:38,926 --> 00:44:42,262
And, um, which kind are you?
952
00:44:42,346 --> 00:44:43,222
The worst, I'm afraid.
953
00:44:43,305 --> 00:44:46,517
(Whispering) Oh, Sally.
954
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:50,938
[Sighs] That's wonderful.
955
00:44:51,021 --> 00:44:52,773
Do you mean it?
956
00:44:52,856 --> 00:44:55,192
With all my heart.
957
00:44:55,275 --> 00:44:58,362
I love you, Wally.
958
00:44:58,445 --> 00:45:00,030
I love you, too.
959
00:45:00,114 --> 00:45:03,075
[Music playing]
960
00:45:17,506 --> 00:45:18,799
[Knocking]
961
00:45:21,468 --> 00:45:22,344
Sir.
962
00:45:22,428 --> 00:45:23,137
Isaac.
963
00:45:27,850 --> 00:45:30,310
I'd like to thank you
for what you did tonight.
964
00:45:30,394 --> 00:45:33,230
It meant a lot to me.
965
00:45:33,313 --> 00:45:39,319
Reason I did it, Isaac,
because you mean a lot to me.
966
00:45:39,403 --> 00:45:42,364
Captain stubing, may I
have a word with you, please?
967
00:45:42,448 --> 00:45:43,740
Merrill stubing: Certainly.
968
00:45:43,824 --> 00:45:45,409
But first I want
you to know that I
969
00:45:45,492 --> 00:45:48,829
have no regrets or apologies
for what I did tonight.
970
00:45:48,912 --> 00:45:51,623
Well, you may not,
captain, but I do have.
971
00:45:51,707 --> 00:45:54,209
As I told you, ours is a
pretty old organization,
972
00:45:54,293 --> 00:45:56,128
and that has its merits.
973
00:45:56,211 --> 00:46:01,592
But maybe it's time we rhinos
revised our thinking a bit,
974
00:46:01,675 --> 00:46:03,343
if we don't want
to become extinct.
975
00:46:16,273 --> 00:46:19,902
[Music playing]
976
00:46:27,367 --> 00:46:28,285
So long, you two.
977
00:46:28,368 --> 00:46:29,119
I hope you had a good cruise.
978
00:46:29,203 --> 00:46:30,037
You bet.
979
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:31,121
Oh, we sure did, gopher.
980
00:46:31,205 --> 00:46:34,500
So much so that, when
our divorce is final,
981
00:46:34,583 --> 00:46:36,043
we're gonna get married again.
982
00:46:36,126 --> 00:46:37,669
Gonna get married again?
983
00:46:37,753 --> 00:46:39,713
Why don't you just
stop the divorce?
984
00:46:39,797 --> 00:46:44,051
No, no, this gives us an
excuse to act like newlyweds.
985
00:46:44,134 --> 00:46:45,844
Bye-bye.
986
00:46:45,928 --> 00:46:46,637
Bye.
987
00:46:49,765 --> 00:46:53,727
Russ, I think you should be
the first to know that Sally
988
00:46:53,810 --> 00:46:54,811
and I are getting married.
989
00:46:54,895 --> 00:46:55,812
Oh, that's great.
990
00:46:55,896 --> 00:46:56,230
- Congratulations, you two.
- Thank you.
991
00:46:56,313 --> 00:46:58,273
Thank you.
992
00:46:58,357 --> 00:46:59,233
Don't you think you should
have told her before me?
993
00:46:59,316 --> 00:47:01,777
And, uh, there is
another announcement.
994
00:47:01,860 --> 00:47:04,988
Sally is making a slight
change in her career.
995
00:47:05,072 --> 00:47:06,114
You're quitting?
996
00:47:06,198 --> 00:47:08,909
Sally thorner: No, just
going into private practice.
997
00:47:08,992 --> 00:47:09,868
Goodbye.
998
00:47:09,952 --> 00:47:11,787
Bye-bye.
999
00:47:11,870 --> 00:47:12,871
[Whistling]
1000
00:47:17,251 --> 00:47:20,587
Captain my fellow rhinos and I
would like to thank you for not
1001
00:47:20,671 --> 00:47:22,297
accepting our award last night.
1002
00:47:22,381 --> 00:47:23,632
You want to thank me?
1003
00:47:23,715 --> 00:47:24,591
Marv Mason: Yes, captain.
1004
00:47:24,675 --> 00:47:25,884
Because of your
turning us down, we
1005
00:47:25,968 --> 00:47:30,013
met later and added
the following clause
1006
00:47:30,097 --> 00:47:31,765
to our bylaws--
1007
00:47:31,848 --> 00:47:36,311
without regard to
race, color, or creed.
1008
00:47:36,395 --> 00:47:39,606
Well, because i'm
at least one of those,
1009
00:47:39,690 --> 00:47:41,608
I'd like to congratulate
you on the change.
1010
00:47:41,692 --> 00:47:42,359
[Laughter]
1011
00:47:42,442 --> 00:47:44,861
[Music playing]
70048
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