All language subtitles for Lucifer .S02E04

Previously on Lucifer...

What does Father want?

Someone's escaped from Hell.

I think He wants me
to bring our jailbird back.

Mum.

What are you hiding?

Nothing.

I admire the steps
you're taking.

It's hard going out on your own.

I need to figure out

where I fit in in this world,

and to do that,
I need some space.

You see, I did make a promise.

I told you that
you could stay here

until I figured out how
to reconcile my deal with Dad,

and now I have.

You shall remain right here,

on Earth, amongst the creatures

you so despise,

as one of them.

But that husband...

And there's children, right?

Have you considered

how your fighting

affects those caught
in the middle?

You've been working
so hard to make it right.

You were right, before.
We've been living

in the past for too long.

It's time we get a divorce.

(♪ "Jungle Youth"
by Young The Giant, playing ♪ )

♪ I can't stop listening ♪

♪ To this voice in my head ♪

♪ Got me tearing
through the covers ♪

♪ On this rusty spring bed... ♪

Damn it, Leroy.

♪ Flames kissing my back ♪

♪ That's all I remember ♪

♪ And then
everything's black... ♪

Damn it, Leroy.

♪ Someplace hot in my soul ♪

♪ Hello, transmission ♪

♪ Now you're in control ♪

♪ I look up ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I look down ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Everybody's bathing
in holy water... ♪

Damn it, Leroy.

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Wear their crowns ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪

S-H-A-G.

"Shag."

Oh, eight points to me
and suck it, Maze.

I see you have a new toy.

Oh, this?
No, no, no.

This is for work.

It's hard to believe
I've never had one before.

I actually have a rule about...
phones during session.

Really?

No phones
during session.

Oh, why not?

These things are
incredibly therapeutic.

1,000 Tinder dates
and Sex Words With Friends?

Gosh, it's more addictive
than a whore's navel cocaine.

Uh...

Fine.

Oh!

Lovely. Gummies.

Love these.

And, do you know,
I've never understood these.

Are they just decorative,
or are they for juggling?

I mean...

Yeah, you seem
very distracted today.

Oi!

Oh, nearly.

Okay.

Sometimes, when we're in crisis,

we create distractions
for ourselves,

also known as
barriers to facing

our deepest fears.

Oh, sorry... right.

This is the part where you, um,

dissect my deep
psychological wounds, eh?

The emotion-charged gong show
of a child of divorce

who may or may not have
broken a deal with his dad

by allowing his mum
to stay on Earth.

Mm. Has the visit
with your mom been hard?

Piece of cake, actually.

Mum's all sorted; not a problem.

Really?

Because the last time
you were here,

you used the word "frightened."

And that's not like you.

Well, turns out Mum's a peach.

Hmm. And the "deal"
with your dad?

To send Mum home?

What, you think I'm scared
of Him or something?

I think you're trying to avoid
the unpleasantness of conflict.

Hold on.

So you're saying

that distraction is a way
to avert your problems.

No.

Ergo, the more I distract,
the less I worry.

No, I did not say that.

Well, you didn't need to,
Doctor, I just did,

and it's bloody brilliant.

Right.

Where are you going?

Distraction calls.

This really is a breakthrough;
thank you.

I'm just gonna...
Sure.

I mean,
who needs a gun and a badge

when I've got... oh!

Hey, it's a crime scene.
Will you focus?

Well, someone's a
grumpy pants today.

Well, sorry,
I got a lot on my mind.

Yes, sorry, you have,
haven't you?

D-word, moving out of your
mum's, finding a new place...

Yeah, well, I'm a big girl
and I need my space,

and it's time.

Not that I have much
with work and Trixie.

Stress can be so aging.

You need a distraction

from your woes, Detective.

It's a highly effective tool.

Mm-hmm.

When was the last
time you had fun?

Oh... well...

No, seriously,

name three friends
you could call right now

for a drink.
And you can't say me,

your child or the man
you're divorcing.

Well, trust me,

Dan is not on my list
of drinking buddies.

Well...

Daniel.

Hey.

I didn't mean it like that.

She did.

What do we have
on the Vic?

Young female.

C.O.D. unknown.

Another fresh-faced ingenue.

Truly tragic.

I.D.?

No personal belongings,
just a, uh,

a triangular-shaped
ink stamp on her hand.

Oh, hold on. I might be
able to help with this.

This is something someone might
find at a "night club."

You know,
where humans go to have "fun"?

We found an abandoned
vehicle registered to Uber.

No sign of the driver.

Password's "Carnal,"
capital "C."

Uber I.D.s are usually linked

to the driver's phone,
not the car.

And now that we have
his number,

by the looks of this map,

our guy is on the corner
of Crescent and Third.

Impressive.

Yeah, it's called
"police work."

Let's solve a murder.

I can assist you with that.

It's brilliant.

Her name's Daria Mitchell.

We traced her credit card
to a small bank in Nebraska.

We know you were
the last one to see her alive.

I didn't touch her!
Well...

except to toss her cold, dead
corpse into the bushes and run.

I told you.

I picked her up on the corner
of Gower and Franklin,

gave her a ride,

and then she jumped
out of my moving car.

You just left her there to die?

By the time I pulled over and
found her, she was already...

I'm on new meds.
I wasn't thinking straight.

I just got this job.
I panicked.

Killer cliché : "I panicked,"
closely followed by...

T-Talk to the other guy!

What other guy?

She used
my phone to call somebody.

Her boyfriend, I don't know.

She wanted to go
over to his place,

he threatened to kill her.

Oh! Excuse me.

Oh, it's you.

Ella's got something.

(♪ "Coyotes"
by Wild Belle, playing ♪ )

♪ I rule ♪

♪ I rule ♪

Looks delicious.

Did you come here to gloat?

I just came to see how the

supreme goddess was acclimating.

Well, I wouldn't plan
a festival of celebration

just yet, my dear.

I will not let this...

spicy chicken casserole beat me.

I'm stronger
than you think.

Glad to see
you're fitting in so well.

Ha. Well, of course
there have been challenges.

Nothing I can't handle.

I'm still on
a sabbatical from work,

so I spend the bulk of my day

at home with the... children.

Factories of filth.

Of mire.

They remind me of you, actually,
if I'm being honest.

And how's that human husband?

I discovered a trick with him.

Whenever he asks a question,
I just have sex with him.

Seems to render him mute.

Hmm. Took me a while
to figure that one out.

As for the rest of it,

for lack of a better word,
it is absolute...

hell.

Well, if it's so bad,
why don't you just go back?

Why?

So that you could go back
to torturing me

for another millennia?

Sounds like fun to me.

Yes, these humans
are awful.

They breathe through their
mouths, and they won't...

shut up about something
called gluten.

But existing in this punishment

allows me to be closer
to my family.

Understand?

Of course not.

You're all alone.

♪ I rule ♪

♪ I rule ♪

(♪ "Bust a Move"
by Young MC, playing ♪ )

♪ Then you got no women
and there you are ♪

♪ Some girls are sadistic,
materialistic ♪

♪ Lookin' for a man
makes them opportunistic ♪

Oh. Sorry. I...

I like to rock it old school
when I'm working.

Know-what-I'm-sayin'?

I do.

And rock you should.

I'm sure, studying
murder all day,

you could use a
little diversion.

Everybody could!

Mm!

♪ You got it ♪

♪ You want it, baby ♪

Thank you.

What do you got for me?

Well...

I found a poison
in Daria's stomach contents.

It's called mandrake,

it's like this
crazy organic hallucinogen,

and... you want to know
the really interesting part?

Mm-hmm!

It would've taken
at least 90 minutes

for it to kick in.

The Uber driver

had back-to-back
rides all night,

and he didn't pick up Daria
until 30 minutes

before she died.

Exactly.

He would've barely had time

to torture her with
his subpar jazz and creepy

dude cologne,
let alone poison her.

Right. We get anything
from vice on the hand stamp?

Nada.

But tech did track down
that number that Daria called.

Davis Fitzgerald.

Owns some hot restaurant
in Silver Lake.

Food is supposed
to be amaze-balls.

Deadly and delicious.

Mm-hmm.
It's been on my list of places

to check out since I moved here.

Oh, social butterfly, are we?

Perhaps you should, uh,
drop by Lux sometime, and we...

could, you know...
Yeah.

Thanks, Ella.

Well, looks
our murderous boyfriend's

doing well for himself.

Yes, your realtor did say
this is a lovely area.

I have a realtor?

Well, I took the liberty

of calling several on
your behalf, actually.

It was a good hour
of distraction.

A) Since when
have you ever cared

about my living
situation, and B)

I could never
afford this place.

Well, I...

Get the hell off of my property!

Well, you're in luck, Detective.

If this home's the site
of a recent massacre,

you may well be in an excellent
negotiating position.

♪ Lucifer 2x04 ♪
Lady Parts
Original Air Date on October 17, 2016

♪ Oh! ♪

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

Put down the knife, and no
one else needs to get hurt.

Yes, the Sweeney
Todd thing's

a bit histrionic,
don't you think?

Oh, you're cops?

Sorry. The militant
vegans next door

been up in my grill
all day long.

I assumed
it was them again.

Come on out back.

I hope you hungry.

Tasty as charged.

See?

We're making artisanal sausage.

Ah. DIY butchery?

Macramé class all
full up, was it?

Farm to table, man.
For my restaurant Ellipsis.

Oh, yes. I've heard
the grilled polenta's divine.

We also brew our own
kombucha, keep bees.

Hmm.

Keeping it real.

Yeah, there's no hormones
in this meat.

And speaking
of your meat, Davis...

are blonde Nebraskans
organic or GMO?

Your girlfriend Daria Mitchell
was found murdered last night.

Murdered?

Girlfriend?

Is there a waitress
you haven't slept with?

My gosh. Is hipster infidelity

really more egregious
than homicide?

Babe, I don't know
anything about that!

Infidelity or homicide?
Just...

Either.

Okay, look, I had
a little fling with Daria,

but I didn't kill her.

We got into a fight
last night when

she wanted to come over,
because I was with...

So you're saying
your wife is your alibi?

Actually, no.

I was with another waitress,

and Daria found out
about that.

And that's what
we were fighting about.

Okay, well, I'll need the name

and number of
the other waitress.

Yes, and I'd like to talk to you
about your herb garden, Davis,

because I was thinking about
taking up rooftop botany.

You know...

Excuse us.

Botany? Realtors?

Look, I get it. I know
your mom's in town.

We're both going
through some stuff.

If you need to talk,
I'm here, okay?

All right, understood.

No, now.

What's going on with you? Why is
it so hard for you to focus?

What's up?

Just give me
a minute, would you?

Face chat Maze.

What?

My hands are
kind of full right now.

Right, well, here's the sitch:

The detective is annoying me
with questions

that clearly won't lead
anywhere, so I need a favor.

Favors are your thing, not mine.

All right, then.

What about a wager?

What's in it for me?

Whatever you want.

Your convertible.

Fine. But you need to take

the detective out and have fun.

Three drinks
should do the trick.

Sucker's bet. Easy.

Yes, but you're not allowed
to tie her up

and pour booze down her throat.

Less easy.

Fine.

All right. Deal.

I said get naked!

Oh, hello.

Want to watch?

Okay, you were the last one
to talk to Daria;

you're telling me
you have no idea

who she was with
last night?

No. She was having
a girls' night.

She was roomies with
another waitress, uh, Naomi.

Maybe she was with her.

Do not leave town.

So did Casanova's
alibi check out?

Working on it,
but in the meantime,

Daria's roommate, Naomi, might
have an idea of her timeline.

Oh, lovely. Then can we go
for grilled polenta?

Well, I can't focus
on an empty stomach, Detective.

Hey...

Oh. Hi.

Hey, uh...

I just wanted
to return this.

Oh. Uh...

Therapeutic Truth.

So much for that, right?

Are you okay?

One exhalation yes, two...

none of my business?

Yeah, listen.

Thanks for your concern,
but, um, I'm fine.

No more false pretenses,
remember?

Friendship
means honesty.

You can talk to
me, Amenadiel.

Apparently, that is
your real name.

It is.

This is hard to explain.

Uh, it's kind of a, uh...

physical problem.

Oh?

And things aren't working
the way they used to.

Oh.

And I-I don't, I don't know
what to do about that.

I see. Well, you know,
it's very common.

I doubt that.

Generally stress related.

It is very stressful.

My advice?

Don't overthink it.

You need to relax.
Try to put it out of your mind.

Maybe have a bit of fun.

- Fun?
- Yes.

Maybe a cocktail.

And before you know it...

It doesn't make you any
less of a man, Amenadiel.

Not even a bit.

Was everything okay?

I haven't seen Daria
or Naomi all week.

We feed each other's cats.

Oh, gosh, I detest cats.

Want an animal to stare at you
with contempt?

Get a cat. Open box
of excrement

in your house? Cat.

Oh, gosh.
Can you smell that?

Foul, incontinent creatures.

That's not a cat smell.
That's a dead smell.

Oh, my God! Naomi!

She's got the same
triangular stamp as Daria.

Same signs of poison.

Well, well. Talk about
a girls' night gone wrong.

(♪ "Time for Flight"
by Baby Alpaca, playing ♪ )

Lovely. Why don't we go
up to the penthouse,

and I can show you the original
Stairway to Heaven.

Ah, Detective.

After 6:00 on a school night?

Ella's final
forensic report came in.

Right.

Um...

Sorry. Can this wait?

I mean,

those deaths were
fiendishly tragic,

but I'm pretty certain that
tomorrow, during office hours,

our dead girls
will still be dead.

I just wanted to run a couple...

Good. Saved me a trip.

You, me, drinking. Now.

I'm in!

What are you doing here?

Lucifer said I should drop by.

But we're working.

No, you're working.

Who the hell is she?

Oh, sorry. Hi, I'm Ella!

I was about
to give him the rundown

on your report.

- Do you want to...
- No, go for it.

I got to dehydrate. Whew!

Okay. Anyhow, first off,
there was tissue damage

to Daria's stomach lining,

caused by liquid nitrogen,

the stuff that makes
fancy cocktails smoke.

It's probably how
she ingested the poison.

Well, excellent lead, Detective,

but you just ruined
my ménage à trois.

Second, I assumed that Daria
was at a club on Gower,

and we found an abandoned
building on the corner.

It looked like they had
recently had a party there.

Fascinating.

I'm thinking
it was a rave, so...

Any way you could make
some phone calls to help me out?

You know, you seem to have
your finger on the pulse.

Not the appendage
I'd hoped to be pulsing by now.

I know that hood.

There's a great tiki bar

across the street
from that building.

I know the bartender.

Course you do.

We could go and
have a drink,

ask about the
dead girls.

Yes. That sounds like
a very good lead, Detective.

If you want to
retrace the steps

of two hot girls
on a girls' night,

you need to think like two
hot girls on a girls' night.

With your lady parts.

And piña coladas
in hand.

Oh, my God, I love piña coladas!

Lovely!

So, I was watching
Chinatown, right?

And all of a sudden,
it hits me.

I need to go to L.A.
I mean, do you ever feel like

God is telling you
to do something?

No.

Oh. You think Chloe's
gonna drink that?

No.

Hey, guys. Do you
recognize this hand stamp?

What about these women?

No.

Okay, look. I'm LAPD,

and if there's any info
that you can give me

on any...

How not to get laid.

I'm not trying
to get laid, Maze.

I don't get it.

Well, did you talk
to the bartender?

Yeah. He said
something was going on

across the street in
the abandoned building.

I put a call in for
a warrant to the judge,

and I'm waiting
to hear back.

Great. Looks like you have
some time to kill.

Have a drink.

No. I'm gonna
call it a night.

Hello, ladies.

Hi. What are
you doing here?

Maze invited me.

- She said it's girls' night.
- Yeah.

No. I'm working
a double homicide.

Would it kill you
to just relax for once?

All you do is

work, work, work.

Wow. Like you're one to talk.

You're at Lucifer's
beck and call 24/7.

It's like you're
his personal concierge.

I'm not his personal
anything, anymore.

Hmm. Well, you basically still
live there, and it's not like

he's pouring you any drinks.

Least I know how to have fun.

What about pleasure?

Men?

When's the last time
you had sex?

Hey, why does everything
always have to be

about work or sex?

Yeah, I agree.

Girls' night, done right,
is about female bonding.

Exactly.

Really getting
to know each other.

Sharing problems,
origin stories, secrets.

- Can't we just drink?
- Fine.

I'll start. Um...

I worked my way
through med school as

a phone sex operator.

1-800-ProfessorFeelGood.

I would totally
call that.

Nice.

I'm Ella, by the way.

I love that we just
skipped the small talk.

Yes.

Um, okay. I'll go next,
I guess. Um...

I used to steal cars.

Who's next?

I was forged in
the bowels of Hell

to torture the guilty
for all of eternity.

Interesting share.

Okay, so...

Now, you go, Chloe.

Female trust.

Come on.

What's on your mind?

What's on my mind...

like, other than the case?

Yeah.

Um...

A little divorce.

- Uh...
- Mm-hmm.

Single parenthood...

uh, possible homelessness and...

most likely many, many cats
in my future.

Or things
that require batteries.

Okay, you know,
that's-that's...

that's what I'm talking about.

You guys,
this is so fun!

- Is it?
- Yes!

Yeah, uh, tequila, stat.

- Yes.
- Keep 'em coming!

This is really
gonna help you feel,

you know, anything.

Ugh!

Cosmopolitan?

Perhaps this really
is girls' night.

There are only two reasons
to drink alone, brother.

Either you're a chronic dullard,

or you're trying
to avoid your problems.

If it's the
latter, I approve.

My problems
are your problems.

Ooh! Aren't we
the little empath?

You think letting Mom stay here
on earth doesn't affect us all?

Why?

Because you think Dad is gonna

forgive and forget about
the fact that you broke a deal?

Haven't broken anything.

I found a loophole.

As such, I'm not thinking
about it at all.

You should try it.

There will be consequences!

I don't get it.

If you're so concerned,
why don't you just

fly Mum back to Hell?

Because I can't!

That was a tad dramatic.

Why not?

It's complicated.

Never fear,
fun brother's here.

I'm gonna show you the magic
of distraction.

But no more girly drinks.
All right?

Cosmos are yummy.

Oh... Bourbon. Stat.
Keep 'em coming.

(♪ "Heartbreaker" feat. Lucifer Cast ♪ )
♪ You're a heartbreaker ♪

♪ Dream maker ♪

♪ Love taker ♪

♪ Don't you mess around
with me ♪

♪ You're a heartbreaker ♪

♪ Dream maker ♪

♪ Love taker ♪

♪ Heartbreaker ♪

Yes!

Thank you, Los Angeles!

And then Lucifer's
all like...

"Hey Chloe,
name three friends

that you could go call
and have a drink with."

- So smug, you know?
- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.

Well, one...two...three!

So, you're saying,

if I called you guys,

you would drop everything

and come and have
a drink with me?

Mm-hmm. 'Cause that is what
girlfriends do for each other.

Yes, especially during
tough times.

Exactly.

I've never had friends
like that.

Like, ever.

Well, you're a lot
more tolerable

when you're drunk,
Decker.

Is that true?
Yeah.

And then Lucifer's like,

"You use work to avoid
having fun."

Oh, yeah.
Well, not anymore, lady.

'Cause we're your tribe, now.

And we like to party!

I wish I had my knives.
We could have made a blood pact.

- Ooh, next time.
- Aww... - Yeah, yeah.

Next time?
That is progress.

To tribes!

To tribes!

Sip it.

I think we should go back
up there.

- Mm-hmm.
- Mm.

Mm.

Oh, it looks like someone's
made a fourth friend.

Oh, you get it, girl!

Oh, no!

- Abort! Chloe!
- Oh... don't do that.

I don't
think she...

Does she wear contacts?

- She's really into him.
- And she's bringing him over.

- Is she?
- Look!

Same hand stamp

as Daria
and Naomi!

Where did you get this?

I saw some
hot women, uh,

g-going into a party
across the street last night.

- Okay.
- It was just...

Do you recognize these women?

Did you see
these girls there?

What's your deal?

Hey, she's just asking
a few questions.

Well, he's taken.
So back off, skank!

- I...
- Hey!

No one calls my skank a skank.

- I'm hurting her.
- No! - Oh, no, no...

- No.
- Okay, no. No, no, Maze.

Maze...

Wipe that smile
off her face.

Maze, remember...
aggression

is not the answer, okay.

Clearly, this woman is having

some serious
trust issues.

Clearly.

Or maybe she's just
a raging bitch.

Oh!

LAPD! Hey!

Everybody take a breath!

Oh! Oh, my gosh.

What is happening?!

(♪ "That Thing You Do" by Ellem, plays ♪ )
♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ I can't put my finger on it ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

Maze, Maze, Maze!

♪ I like that thing you do ♪

Maze, I wasn't done
questioning him!

♪ The way you style your hair ♪

Ugh!

Carry on.

Hey.

Did you see these girls?

Yeah, maybe.

- Where?
- It was... it was...

- Where?!
- It was a crowded sex club,

and there was so many
hot girls...

A sex club?

Yeah, just...

Don't tell my girlfriend.
Just...

♪ And the boys and the girls
they stare... ♪

Girls' night out.

Oh...

Oof.

Happy hour over already?

Must have been
some party.

Yeah...

other than the half hour-ish

from 8:47 to 9:17

that I can't quite remember
anything.

Classic Chloe.

Only you would make a point
of remembering

the exact amount of time
you can't remember.

Mm. Well,

I was lucid enough to
destroy a tiki bar

and get a lead
on our two dead blondes.

I found a guy with a hand stamp.

The same club that
Daria and Naomi went to?

Not a club.

More like a roving,
pop-up sex party.

Secretive,
invite-only,

caters to rich jerks
who like to pay for it.

So gross.

So those two girls
were sex workers?

Looks like it.

But the only way
to know for sure

is to get you
into the next shindig.

Which hand stamp guy told me...

right before he passed out...

is happening as we speak.

Me?

Uh-huh. Men only.
And I got you a date.

- Nope.
- Yes.

- Mm-mm. No way.
- Yes.

It's good to have Lucifer
there with you as back up.

So they don't think
you're a cop.

I don't look like a cop.

Uh-huh.

Hey.

Do I look like a cop?

Ah. Finally, you're here. Right.

I promise this will be more fun

than light beers
and Bachelor reruns.

Your jokes
never get old.

Oh, come on, who doesn't
love a sex party?

Then again, if you're me,

every party's a sex party
of sorts.

It's illegal, for starters.

Why do you think they
change the location every night?

No liquor license,
underage girls...

Well, the world's
oldest profession

seems to be surviving
quite nicely.

Hello, chaps.

Yes, my first startup
was a sex club, actually.

Little place called "Eden".
Perhaps you've heard of it?

I'm... good.
Thank you.

Best case scenario,
this club exploits women.

Worst case? It got those girls
a belly full of poison.

Mm.

- One other thing.
- Hm?

I'm not sure
why he's here.

Only dullards drink alone.

Yes, he's a tad anxious
these days.

I thought a night out
would do him good.

Right. Well,
we have one mission:

to find out who
knew the dead girls.

And remember...
we're undercover, okay?

As if you could look like
anything other than a cop.

I do not look like a cop!

Cop.

All right, will you guys
just please,

for God's sake, be chill?

And three rules:
no drinking, no touching...

...and just keep everything
low-key.

Yes!

Oh, my God.

This is not helping us find out
who knew the dead girls.

Agreed. His shimmy is
a tad off-putting.

Come on, Luci!

Come cut a rug
with your big bro!

Uh. No, no,
no, no, no.

White man's overbite,

that is definitely
where I draw the line.

Hold on a second.

Look at the bar.

It's liquid nitrogen.

It's the same thing
that caused damage

to Daria Mitchell's
stomach lining.

Yes.

Hey, buddy.

Hey.

What do you know
about these two girls?

Not so fast,
buddy boy.

Seems my martini isn't the
only thing here that's dirty.

Mmm.

A drink to savor,
don't you think?

Ah...

Want to explain
why you ran?

Come on.
You're obviously a cop.

Shut it.

I figured you were
here to bust me.

Yes, we are
here to bust you.

For the untimely fate of
two innocent Nebraskan girls.

Wait... what?

It's funny how
killers go deaf

at the moment of reckoning,
isn't it?

No, no. I...

I'm no killer.

I-I-I keep an eye on
the girls that work here

and serve the pervs drinks.

And pot...

Maybe a bit of "E."

What about mandrake?

Who's Mandrake?

Did you put poison in these
two girls' drinks?

No-no. What? No.
I-I remember these girls.

Their drinks were clean
when I made 'em.

Who was paying for 'em?

I don't know, it was some
Hollywood dirtbag

with a gold card.

You'll need to be
a little more specific.

It's... Yuri something.

He's not here
tonight though.

I guess your two dead girls

and the other blonde must have
really worn him out.

Wait a minute.

There were three blondes?
Yeah.

Your two newbies

and their hot friend.

Right. First name:

"Hot", last name "Friend"?

They don't use
their real names.

She's one of our regulars
though.

You know, life of the party.

Oh, she won't be
the life of anything,

if we don't get to her

before lady killer Yuri
has his way.

If he hasn't already.

Thank you.

Oh, silly me.

Come on. Rise and shine,
Crantini.

Time to go.

Yeah.
Let's do this.

Gosh, I wish I got that
on video.

Oh, I can get that
on video!

Hold on.
Douche-cam.

Must have been some party.

Ah, that's funny.

And I'll laugh after we find
this Yuri scumbag.

You have anything
on the third girl?

Bartender said she was,
"Blonde, hot,

and had an exposed midriff".

Which describes half
the population of L.A.

Well, the chef's wife,

Gisele, fits
that description.

Yeah, but when you saw her,
she was healthy.

You think she could have
worked with Naomi

and Daria
at the sex club?

She knew them

through her husband's
restaurant.

I mean... but
part-time sex worker?

Would that be the first thing
you put on your résumé?

No. But if she was there,

she was witness to everything
that went down that night.

So, maybe Yuri's after her.

Yeah, well, the tech
got Yuri's info

from the credit card
he used at the sex party.

Only has a P.O. box.

No home address,
but I did get

a cell and a plate number.

Okay, good.

Lucifer and I
will go find Yuri,

and, uh,

and, um...

...you track down Gisele.

Oh...

Copy that.

That is...

What did Maze win

and why does it involve
my tragic drunk face?

Just a little wager.

Well, you had a lot
on your mind,

so I decided
to distract you,

with "girls' night."

Last night was a setup?

Yes. Well, you had fun,
didn't you?

You should be
thanking me.

What are you doing?

Detective...

Uh, hey, Davis
hasn't seen Gisele,

and she's, uh,
not answering her cell,

so if Yuri has her,
we've got to get there fast.

I'm on my way.

Detective...

What did you say to her?

LAPD. Get out
of the car, Yuri.

Good Lord, you could at least

fork out for a room, Yuri.

No, no, no, no!

Not the Italian leather!

Bloody hell!

Yeah, more like karma.

We know you were
at the sex club last night,

and you're responsible
for the death of two girls.

What do you know
about Gisele?

I don't know anyone
named Gisele.

You have it all wrong.

I only went to that club

because Crystal
promised me newbies.

I paid five grand apiece

for those two
sweethearts.

Who's Crystal?

She was with Daria
and Naomi.

Then you should
most definitely

ask for a refund.

I know.

Those girls had no idea
that I was their date.

You're telling me
Daria and Naomi

had no idea
it was a sex club?

No.

When they found out,
they wanted to leave.

Crystal bought them
drinks,

but they drank them
and bailed anyway.

I was so upset that
I took the last sip and...

You drank the rest
of the poison.

I have been sick
ever since.

Oh, God.

Oh, no, no, no.
Not again.

Is Gisele Crystal?

Oh, you mean the chef's wife?

Could she be the one
who killed Daria and Naomi?

Well, Daria was sleeping
with her husband,

so if anyone had a bone to pick,
it would be her.

Yuri, do you know
Crystal's real name?

No. But I have a picture.

Oh, lovely.
I'll take that.

Right. Ooh, pecker pic.

- Pecker pic.
- Eww!

Oh, hold on.

That's not Gisele.

No, and that blonde hair
doesn't look real either.

You're right,
it's a wig.

And the girl wearing it
looks real familiar.

Oh, it's just rush, rush, rush
in this town, isn't it?

Oh, hi, detectives.

I'm just putting
a few things in storage.

I'm going back home.

Right, you can take the girl
out of Nebraska,

but you can't take Nebraska
out of the girl.

Or can you?

I don't feel safe
in L.A. anymore.

You wouldn't either
if two of your neighbors

wound up dead.

Don't you just hate that?

I'm sorry, I have
a flight at 3:00.

Yes, and I've
just discovered

this wonderful thing
called Facebook.

Have you heard of it?
I have to go, please.

'Cause Facebook's
heard of you.

It knows that you're
a big deal

in your small town.

A ten back home,

but in L.A.,
just a five.

Things haven't worked out
for you here, have they, Lily?

So much heartache,
struggle, compromise.

It made you
desperate enough

to turn against your own
sorority sisters,

Daria and Naomi.

No. Daria and Naomi
were my friends.

Were they?

Because we know you were
with them the night they died.

You said you hadn't
seen 'em for a week.

You have no proof
of that.

Except for a photo taken
by your charming buddy Yuri.

Nice wig, by the way.

Really brings out
the murder in your eyes.

Seems kitties do have claws.

Please, just let me go.

Is this the part where you wish
I had a gun, Detective?

Shut up, Lucifer,
I got this.

You pretended to be
a friend to those girls.

Shame on you.

They called me!

They were desperate
for my help.

The best workout class,
where to hike...

this apartment!

They asked you for help
and you preyed on them?

I was doing them
a favor.

What, by putting mandrake
in their drinks?

I thought it was
an organic kind of roofie.

I didn't know that
it would kill them.

I was just trying
to loosen them up.

You were trying to make
an extra buck

by bringing in
a couple newbies.

I won the Dame Judith
acting award in college.

I was the president
of our sorority.

I should have
made it by now!

L.A. was supposed
to be easy!

Oh, phones...

They can be
so distracting.

There's a special place in Hell
for women who fake friendships

as a way of manipulating
other women!

She's right, you know.

And I think we have
a silver lining, Detective.

What with Lily going away,
and Daria and Naomi dead,

I believe that there's
an apartment vacancy.

Are you seriously suggesting
that I should move

into a dead girl's apartment?

No, no, no, the killer's place
is much nicer.

I mean, just look
at this view!

How'd you get
in here?

Let's just say Samantha
at the front desk

is no longer into men.

What, you still mad?

What was all that stuff
about being my tribe?

You had fun,
didn't you?

I don't have time for this.

I have work to do.
You can go.

I wasn't totally
faking it.

Like when I strangled
psycho chick for the win.

That was genuine.

Gee, thanks.

You know, I wouldn't just
kick ass for anyone.

Okay, fine, I would.

But this time
it was... sweeter.

This is some twisted
version of an apology?

I don't do apologies.

But I don't want
to kill you anymore.

You're a very,
very deranged person.

Thanks.

So, we're still good
to be roomies, right?

What are you
talking about, roomies?

We shook on it.

Post-karaoke,
pre-potbelly dude.

What?

I told you I was
in between places.

You said that you were
looking for someone

to share expenses.

Don't you remember?

The missing half hour.

Look... I've got money.

I like your kid,
and you dress like crap,

so I won't be stealing
any of your clothes.

What, you got
a better plan?

You said you wanted
fun, Decker.

Fun.

Oh, my...

Roommates?

You and Detective Decker?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

And have I mentioned "no,"
and also, "no"?

You're not my boss anymore.

Well, that may be.

But I can't have the women
in my life teaming up.

I'll be outnumbered.

Dad forbid you manage
to have sex with her

before I do.

Oh, actually, can I interest you
in another wager?

No. Done deal.
Pay up.

Fine,
the convertible's yours.

I'm over that.

Well, the hot,
new bartender.

Been there, done that.

Well, spit it out
then, Maze.

What is it you want?

I want a drink.

What, that's it?

Fine. Pick any bottle,
pull two glasses.

No, I want you
to pour me a drink.

All right.

To newly defined
relationships.

Cheers.

Oh... please...

don't drink
in front of me.

Bad case of the distractions,
brother?

Well, I better go.

I'll let you deal
with the lightweight.

Judging from your
behavior last night,

that lunatic dancing,
I fear that my advice

may have created a whole
new set of problems.

No more turning
a "blind eye," Lucifer.

Listen...

We both know that Dad
is not the kind

to forgive and forget.

No distraction on earth
is gonna change that.

I said that I would
punish Mom,

and I'm doing so
here on earth.

Deal maintained,
loophole achieved.

What if He doesn't
feel that way?

There will be real
consequences, Luci,

for all of us.

Especially me.

You know, I liked
you better drunk.

Tell me something, brother,
what deal did you make?

What was worth writing
Father, of all people,

a blank check?

Not a what.
A who.

You made a deal
for Chloe's life?

Don't look at me like that!

At the time, it made
a certain amount of sense.

Don't you understand?

You made a deal
to return Mom to Hell.

In exchange,
Chloe's life was spared.

Well, that's one
interpretation.

Despite whatever loopholes
you think you found,

and the lies that
you have told yourself,

you still haven't delivered
on your end of the bargain.

Luci, what if Dad
decides to

take back His side
of the deal?

One silly human soul?

I can't imagine Dad would
take much interest in that.

Yes, two adult women
and a child.

Just bring over a deposit,

and the apartment's yours.

Really? Oh, yeah,
I will, uh...

Great, I'll drop off
a check right away.

Okay, thank you.

Of course.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man