All language subtitles for The.Love.Boat.S05E14.Good.Neighbors.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

[Theme - Jack Jones, "the love
boat theme"]

Theme song: Love, exciting
and new, come aboard,

we're expecting you.

And love, life's
sweetest reward.

Let it flow.

It floats to you.

The love boat.

Soon we'll be
making another run.

The love boat.

Promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt any more.

It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard, it's love.

[Music playing]

Captain stubing,
you're looking

particularly handsome today.

Why, thank you, Julie.

Haircut, manicure,
best uniform--

this wouldn't have anything to
do with having your portrait

painted, would it?

Thank you for
reminding me, Adam.

It completely slipped my mind.

Got to look your best.

You're having your
portrait painted?

Well, the line wants
a little picture of me

to hang in the boardroom.

Oh, this isn't just
a little picture.

They've commission Barbara
Braden to paint it.

She's painted official
portraits of four supreme court

justices and two presidents.

Wow, captain,
that's very exciting.

Oh it's not such a big deal.

The line does this
for all their captains

who have been with
them for 10 years.

I don't want either one of you
to make a big fuss about this.

Fine, sir.

Consider the matter closed.

Good.

Oh, Ms. McCoy?

Yes, sir?

Do I look better
full face or profile?

Hi, I'm Don York.

Oh hey, Don York, the
famous public relations man.

Yeah, how'd you know.

Ah, well, it says Don York,
public relations right here.

Famous I just threw in
because if you are famous,

I should've known,
and if you're not,

makes you feel better, right?

Hey, you're all right.

You can be a press
agent yourself

with your gift of flattery.

Gopher Smith, famous
assistant purser.

Makes me feel better too.

Wow.

There's the person i'd
love to make famous,

so I could protect
her from the crowds.

Hello, I'm Doris weldon.

Hello, miss weldon.

Let's see.

You are in cabin
216 on fiesta deck.

Thank you.

I'm Don York.

Ah, famous public relations.

Well, if there's
one thing I've learned

is a public relations
man, it's not to hesitate

to ask people for what I want.

I want to ask you to have
dinner with me right away.

I'd love to, but couldn't
we wait till after lunch?

She's all right, gopher.

She can stay on the ship.

Hey, what a coincidence.

We live in the
same condominiums.

On boheny near sunset,
the new high-rise.

Oh, we do?

Well, goodbye.

What do you mean, goodbye?

Hey, this is great.

We're neighbors and this cruise
would be a great time for us

to get to know each other.

Look, I have only
one rule in life.

And that rule is never get
involved with the man who lives

in the same building as you do.

Wait a minute.

Well, as they say
at the ballpark--

strike one.

Well, I never
strike out, though.

I'm not a famous
PR man for nothing.

Hey.

[Phone ringing]

Hello.

I'm Isaac Washington and
this is Vicki stubing.

Oh, it's nice to meet you.

I'm Stan barber.

I'm for Laura France--

I mean, Laura barber.

Ah, don't tell me-- newlyweds.

Here, let me show you
to the honeymoon suite.

Um, we couldn't afford
the honeymoon suite.

Oh, you're on promenade
deck, cabin 312.

But I'm sure any
cabin that you're in

will be the honeymoon suite.

Here, let me take
your luggage for you.

Oh, gosh, what do
you have in there?

Law books.

Stan has to do his
homework on this cruise.

Homework was never that
much fun when I was in school.

Well, here, let me take this.

Let's go.

Nice meeting you.

Excuse me.

Who was that young fellow?

I think I know him.

Oh, that's Mr. Stan barber.

Sure looks familiar.

Well, I'm frank Jensen.

How do you do, Mr. Jensen?

I'm Isaac Washington
and welcome aboard.

Thank you.

This is the first
day of my retirement.

Oh, congratulations.

But you seem a bit
young to be retired.

I guess it's all in
your attitude, Isaac.

You can either
look at retirement

as permanent unemployment
or as a life long vacation.

And you're looking at
it as a lifelong vacation?

How should I know?

It's only my first
day of retirement.

Thank you, Phil.

Excuse me, captain stubing?

Yes, may I help you?

Ah, yes.

I'm Barbara Braden.

I'm here to paint your portrait.

How do you do, Ms. Braden.

It's an honor to meet you.

I know your work very well.

Thank you.

I'm looking forward to
learning about your work.

But you're going to
have to call me Barbara.

All right, Barbara.

I must confess, I've never had
my portrait painted before.

What do I do first?

All you have to do
is look captainly.

And I don't think you're going
to have any trouble doing that.

Thank you.

I guess I'd better
get settled in.

We'll meet later
and get started.

Right.

Bye.

Oh, is that the lady who's
going to paint your portrait?

Mm-hm.

I'd like to put
in my order for 8

by 10, a couple of wallet size.

Why, thank you.

Oh, not of you.

Of her.

[Horn]

Oh, excuse me.

- Oh.
- Hey!

We're neighbors again.

It's just like as if
we were in Los Angeles.

And just like as if we
were in Los Angeles, goodbye.

Protected by the second
fourth and fifth amendments.

Correct.

Now what is double jeopardy?

Double jeopardy.

Double jeopardy--

come on, be serious.

What's--

double jeopardy.

A person cannot be tried
again for a crime for which

he's been previously acquitted.

Perfect you haven't
missed one yet.

Maybe I should study
here from now on instead

of in the law school library.

Let's see what you
know about civil rights.

Honey, honey--
let's take a break.

Honeymoons are
supposed to be fun.

This is fun.

I love helping you study.

I suppose your working
two jobs to support me

through law school is fun too.

I'm not supporting you.

I'm investing in you, in us.

If you ask me, I think it's
a pretty smart investment.

Oh!

Would you please
stop following me?

I'm not following you.

I'm just-- you just
happen to be blocking

the path of where I'm going.

Hey, listen, I'll leave
and stop bothering you

if you'll answer one simple
quick question for me.

What's the one question.

Well, it has to
do with your rules

about not having a
relationship with anyone

who lives in your building.

What about it?

Well, I just wondered
why a beautiful young thing

like yourself would
have such a rule--

although I respect
it completely.

I have my rule because
a close friend of mine

once fell in love with a man
who lived in the same building

as she did.

And after they broke up, she
used to see him in the elevator

with other girls.

And it was excruciatingly
painful to her.

I see what you mean.

I'm glad you understand.

So I tell you what,
after you and I break up,

I'll ask all my new girlfriends
not to use the elevator

and use the stairs instead.

Nice day.

Or not.

Well, if I know my
baseball and my women,

I'd say that was strike two.

Well, gopher, you know it
don't take much to change

strike two to v for victory.

See you, buddy.

Bye, bye.

Now captain, I want you to
pretend that I'm not here.

Mm-hm.

I just want to get some
rough sketches of you

to feel you at work.

This isn't going to be
the finished portrait.

Of course.

How's this?

Captain, I don't want you
to pose for me, all right?

Ok.

I'll just do what--

what I do in here every day.

Oh, that's perfect.

That's what I want.

Good.

Ah!

How about this?

Captain, you're posing again.

Posing?

I'm sorry.

Just looking at my binoculars.

I think you'd be
able to see father

if you took off the lens caps.

Hm?

Of course.

I thought it was
kind of dark out.

Well, what can I get you?

A couple of grape
juices, please.

Oh, you'd better go
easy on that stuff.

I hear it turns
your tongue purple.

You don't get many requests
like that from young people

these days.

I was beginning
to think you were

all just out to get blasted.

No, not all of us?

Don't I know you?

No you don't.

I mean, we've never met.

Are you sure?

I could swear I've
seen you before.

Must have me mistaken
for someone else.

Thanks.

Certainly.

I've seen him somewhere.

I don't know where.

Retired one day and my
memory's going already.

But believe me, it was much
easier to paint the president

than it ever was to
paint spectacular biff.

Wow.

You mean, you painted the horse
that won the Kentucky derby?

Mm-hm.

I certainly did.

I bet it was hard
getting him to smile.

How's the captain's
portrait coming?

Very nicely, Julie.

Thank you.

Ms. Braden is kind.

I'm afraid I'm not
a very good model.

Too self-conscious.

Oh, no.

That's not true.

He's a wonderful subject.

He has such a marvelous
air of command about him.

I just hope that I can
capture those rugged, handsome

features, as well as
the compassion that I

see those beautiful eyes.

I hope you have
plenty of red paint

to capture the blush you
just put on his face.

[Laughter]

You don't talk
very much, do you?

No, not much.

You like good,
expensive jewelry?

I picked this up in Vegas.

That's Las Vegas to
people who haven't

been there as much as I.

Very nice.

Excuse me.

Look, I'm not
going to live here.

I'm just going to
have some dinner.

Tell me, Larry,
where did you say you

got that lovely bracelet?

Vegas.

Ah.

Could that be Las Vegas?

Yeah.

Could I see your
bracelet please?

What for?

Well, we live in the same
apartment building back

in Los Angeles and we
were kind of looking

around for a building bracelet.

What's a building bracelet?

Oh, it's just something
that links neighbors together.

Well, like I say, we live
in the same apartment

building back in Los Angeles.

But there's nothing between us.

No, sir ree, Bob.

Never has been, has it?

No, and there never will be.

As you say, Larry.

Let me see, when you've
been married for 25 years,

it's your silver anniversary.

Five years is wood,
and one year is paper.

I wonder what it is when
you've been married for day?

I don't know.

But we have all night
to figure it out.

Stan barber, right?

Isaac told me the name, but
I still can't place the face.

How are you tonight?

We're fine.

You two know each other?

I think so.

I don't think so.

Frank Jensen.

Oh, Laura.

Yes.

Well, it's been
driving me crazy.

You from woodland hills?

Yes.

Maybe you two do
know each other.

I used to have a
liquor store on desoto

Avenue, Jensen's liquors.

There 10 years.

Maybe you came in now and then?

No.

I don't think so.

You see, I don't drink, so no.

Oh, well i--

I don't mean to
interrupt you two.

I'm sure I'll figure it out.

Nice meeting you.

Good night.

Good night.

That wasn't like you.

You're so unfriendly.

Stan, he probably just
wanted someone to talk to.

Let him talk to somebody else.

Look, look, I'm on my honeymoon.

I only want to talk to you.

Ok?

You know, merrill, I
really am enjoying myself.

You're a wonderful host.

Thank you, Laura.

Do you think we should
start on my portrait?

Oh, we will.

There's no hurry.

Now I don't want to rush you,
but if you don't start soon,

I may not look young enough.

Do I have reason to suspect
it's time to call strike three?

Not at all, gopher.

Just time for a little
conference on the mound.

Oh, changing pitchers, huh?

Nope.

Changing pitches.

As a PR man, I know when
a product isn't selling,

it's time to change it's image.

So I'm changing mine
from bothersome neighbor

to hurt and sensitive neighbor.

Watch this.

Ms. Weldon, I know
you said you had

a rule about not getting
involved with a neighbor,

but is that really true?

Or is it because you just
don't like me personally?

Oh, no.

Don't think that.

What I told you was the truth.

With one exception.

It didn't happen to my friend.

It happened to me.

Oh, I'm sorry, Doris.

I know how much that can hurt.

But look on the bright side.

Losing somebody gives
you the opportunity

to find someone new.

Oh, that's nice.

You have a positive
outlook on life.

I like that.

Oh, there you go again,
starting a relationship.

No, really, you look fine.

I want you just to relax,
take a deep breath,

let me see that super
smile of yours, ok?

Oh, wait a minute Barbara.

I think I should
wear my blue jacket.

Oh, all right.

Whatever would make you
feel most comfortable.

Blue jacket it is.

Oh, hold it.

I've had so many photographs
in that blue jacket.

I think I want you to paint
me in my white jacket.

All right.

I'm sorry to hold up
everything like this.

I just think it should be right.

It's all right, merrill.

I want you to be
happy with this.

Ok.

Set?

All set.

Ok.

Let's get to work.

Wait a minute.

My hat.

Where's my hat?

I really think I should wear
my hat for this portrait.

It must be in my cabin.

I'll be right back.

No, merrill, you--

you brought your hat.

Oh.

I really don't need it, do I?

What do you think?

I think you should relax.

Relax?

What makes you think
I'm not relaxed?

Ready or not, here I come.

Aren't you gonna
get ready for bed?

Listen, honey, I've got to
go do something right away.

Is everything all right?

Everything's fine.

I'll be right back.

Be right back.

Mr. Jensen?

Oh, hi there.

Uh, I need to talk to you.

All right.

Good.

You were right.

You did recognize me.

I thought I had.

I was in your liquor
store one night.

It was back when I had a--

well, I had a drinking problem.

I came in drunk
looking to get drunker,

and you wouldn't
sell me anything.

And I guess I went
a little bit crazy.

Now I recognize you--

now Mr. Jensen, I
understand how you must feel--

how could I forget?

You and your gang of
hoodlums come in my store,

Rob me, beat me to death.

Gang?

I don't know anything about--

you and your punk pals--

listen, I don't know
what you're talking about.

I came in alone.

And I ran off with some booze
that you wouldn't sell me.

Now I was pretty messed up.

When I realized what
I had done, well, I

just couldn't come back.

I was-- I was too scared.

You were scared?

Yes.

But a lot has happened
to me since then.

Now I haven't had a
drink in two years.

I'm in law school now.

I met a wonderful girl and
we've just been married.

Now I am really very, very sorry
for what happened that night.

And Mr. Jensen believe
me, I will do anything,

anything to make that up to you.

Make it up, huh?

You know where I've been
for the past two months?

In the hospital because a
couple punks worked me over.

I had to sell my store.

And I swore if I ever got
one of you, I'd ruin you.

Oh please, Mr. Jensen--

you can forget about
law school, kid.

You're going to jail.

It's been grand.

Can I come in for a nightcap?

No.

I don't think so.

Well, how about
a cup of coffee?

No, really.

I'm tired.

Well, you won't be tired
after you drink a cup of coffee.

Come on, baby.

What do you say?

Well, all right.

Just for a minute.

Larry: You really are
a cute dish, Doris.

Doris: Oh, please Larry.

No.

Larry: Come on, baby.

Doris: Uh, Larry!

[Music playing loudly]

Turn down the music in there.

You hear me?

[Inaudible] Turn down
that music in there.

What are you screaming about?

We don't have
any music in there.

Yeah, you turned it down now.

Some people have
no consideration.

I didn't even bring
a radio with me.

She's right.

She didn't.

You keep out of this, buddy.

Or maybe the IRS
would like to know

if you paid taxes on that money
you won gambling in Vegas?

Ok.

Maybe I'll see you tomorrow.

Ok, folks.

Back in your rooms now.

Everything's all right.

I-- I wouldn't have
any kind of relationship

with you even if I didn't
have a rule about it.

Same to you.

[Door slams]

Goodnight, neighbor.

Well, I think that's about
it for the night, merrill.

Oh, I was hoping
you said that.

[Laughter]

[Yawning]

I didn't realize how
much work posing was.

Excuse me.

Well, for someone who
started out so nervous,

you really relaxed and
did a wonderful job.

Now let's see
what you've done.

Well, now remember.

It's in the early stages.

Hey, that's terrific.

You're a very talented
woman, Barbara.

Thank you.

Ah, but-- you
deserve the credit.

All I did was sit over there.

No, you did much
more than that.

I get--

I get a very special
feeling from you.

It just had to show
up on the canvas.

Oh.

What kind of special feeling?

Warmth and tenderness.

Actually, I had a
very difficult time

keeping my eyes on the canvas.

Do you want to know the
most difficult thing for me

when I was sitting over
there all that time?

What?

Wondering when i'd
get a chance to do this.

Oh, you know, I was
wondering the very same thing.

Oh, wait a minute--

[laughter]

Good morning, sweetheart.

Good morning.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I just didn't sleep very
well last night, that's all.

Oh, poor baby.

You were tossing and
turning all night.

I know.

Are you ok?

I said I'm ok.

Ok?

Listen, why
don't I get dressed

and we'll have some breakfast
and then we'll sit on the deck

and do some more studying?

I've been thinking about that.

Maybe I'm not cut
out for law school.

What?

Well, it's the work and the
pressure and who needs that?

What's so great about
being a lawyer anyway?

Come on, Stan.

You're being silly.

You know being a lawyer is
all you've ever dreamed of.

Let's sit you out
in the sunshine

and pour you a cup of coffee and
we'll talk about it, all right?

I said, I don't want to do it.

Now will you leave me alone?

Where are you going?

Out.

Just out.

[Slam]

Good morning, good morning.

Care if I join you?

Yes, I do.

Is that any way to
treat me after I saved

you from that jerk last night?

Oh, he's not such a bad guy.

He's a great guy.

Snappy dresser, too.

Kiss you one time
and your whole body

turns green from
all that jewelry.

[Laughter]

Listen, I'm here on official
apartment house business.

The more I think
about it, the more

I like your rule about
neighbors never becoming

involved with each other.

I'm glad you finally agree.

Oh, I do.

I certainly do agree.

In fact, I agree
so much that I made

up a questionnaire last night.

Listen, I figure if we can time
our apartment house activities

to the split second, we
can live across the hall

from each other for
years and never have

to lay eyes on one another.

Oh, that would be lovely.

Now what time would you
like to be in the mailbox area

each morning to
pick up your mail?

Doesn't make any
difference to me.

Well, if you have no
choice, I'd like to pick

mine from 9:00 to 9:30 am.

I get most of my
mail at the office.

So at my apartment I get mostly
periodicals, weekly magazines,

psychology magazines
with articles

about why people live by
rules and how most of it's

caused by sexual repression.

Things like that.

Now the time you'd like to use
the swimming pool each day is

very important, because if I saw
you in an outfit like the one

you're wearing, it could lead
to the intimate and loving

relationship that we're both
trying so very hard to avoid.

Have you had breakfast yet?

No.

Try a prune Danish.

Strike three?

No thanks.

I've already eaten.

Mm.

Beautiful morning this is.

After last night, how could
it not be a beautiful morning.

So what time do you want me
to start posing for you today?

Mm.

Well, I don't need you
to pose for me at all.

I destroyed that painting
that I started last night.

Why?

It was wonderful.

Merrill, that painting was--

well, it was a
portrait of a stranger.

Now that I know
you better, I want

to create something that will
capture what you mean to me.

Then you still need
me to pose for you.

Uh-uh.

No.

I have everything that I need
locked up right in there.

And I must get started.

Oh, Barbara, I almost forgot.

I'm having a small cocktail
party in my quarters tonight.

Merrill, I have to
finish your portrait.

I'll try.

I hope so.

You're the guest of honor.

Oh.

Then I'll be there.

Hi, Doris.

You having fun?

Oh, hi Julie.

I'm not so sure.

Remember that rule of
mine I told you about?

The one about not dating guys
that live in your building.

Yeah, that's the one.

I'm not so sure if it's
such a good rule anymore.

I just met a guy that
I could really like,

and wouldn't you know it,
he lives in my building.

Aw, that's tough.

Yeah, it sure is.

If I didn't have that rule, i'd
notice how green his eyes are.

If I didn't have that rule,
I'd notice how much fun he is

and what a great
sense of humor he has.

Sounds to me like
you need a new rule.

Oh, what's that?

No more rules.

Yeah.

[Knocking]

Just a minute.

Merrill.

I just thought I'd stop by
to see how you were doing.

How are you doing?

Just fine, thank you.

Oh, may I have a look?

Mm-mm.

I want you to wait
until it's finished.

Come on.

Just one little look.

No, you can see
it later on tonight.

Can I see you
latter on tonight?

Uh, of course.

Good.

I missed you.

Oh, good.

Uh-uh.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye, bye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye!

Don't tell me.

I never forget a drink.

Grape juice, right?

Double scotch.

Coming right up.

I've been looking
all over for you.

Why did you walk
out on me like that?

I just got to
do some thinking.

Double scotch.

Stan, what are you doing?

Having a drink.

I thought you were
through with that stuff?

It's just one little drink.

It's no big deal.

What is the matter with you?

Ever since we got
on this ship, you've

been acting like a stranger.

It's something I have
to work for myself.

And that's how
you're going to do it?

You listen to me,
Stanley barber,

if you're going to
mess up your life,

well, that's your business.

But if you're going
to mess up our life,

well, I'm not going to
stick around for it.

Hold on.

Announcer: Ladies and
gentlemen, welcome to acapulco.

Night club tours of
acapulco will leave

the dock area in 15 minutes.

Young man?

Sir?

I'm looking for a good
restaurant in acapulco.

Any ideas?

Well, I'll tell you what.

Let me check the
restaurant guide

and I'll find you
something terrific.

Just hang on.
- Thank you.

Gopher, did you have any luck?

Oh, right.

I booked you on a flight
210 to Los Angeles,

leaves acapulco at 9:35.

Thank you.

Hey, it's what I do.

Mrs. Barber.

Hello, Mr. Jensen.

You and your husband
going home, are you?

No.

I'm going alone.

Oh, that doesn't sound
like much of a honeymoon.

Well, maybe he hasn't
been much of a husband.

What do you mean?

Ever since last night, he's
been acting like a completely

different person.

I don't know what happened and
he won't tell me what it is.

Oh, sir.

I just found you great place.

Thanks just the same, gopher.

I seemed to have
lost my appetite.

There is something you
can do for me though.

Sure.

Merrill, you really know how
to throw a cocktail party.

Thank you, Adam.

It's the first thing they
teach you in captain school,

right before knots and
celestial navigation.

Where's Barbara?

Isn't she the guest of honor.

Oh, she'll be here.

She's locked herself
in the cabin all day

putting the finishing
touches on my portrait.

How is it?

I don't know.

I haven't seen it yet.

They'll unveil it tonight
in the acapulco lounge.

To tell you the truth, i'm
kind of nervous about it.

Yeah, I can understand that.

Merrill, I've been
meaning to tell you,

I haven't spent an awful
lot of time with her,

but Barbara sure seems
like a sensational lady.

She is.

She's the brightest,
the loveliest, the most

talented woman I've met in--

I don't know how long.

Sounds like you might
be falling in love?

Not only sounds like it.

Feels like it too.

Pardon me.

I'm so sorry I'm late.

That's all right.

Well, how'd the
portrait turn out?

Oh well, I have to admit,
I think it's my best work.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Well, how did you
finally paint me?

In my white jacket
or my blue jacket?

Uh, neither.

You painted me
in my dress shirt?

No, I didn't paint you
in dress shirt either.

Don't tell me i'm
not wearing anything.

You could say that.

You painted me in the nude?

Where's the painting?

In my cabin.

Come on.

[Music playing]

Isaac, could I have a
double scotch, please.

Sure.

Are you going to
drink it this time,

or are you just going
to stare at it again?

Hey, aren't you going to
say goodbye to your wife?

What do you mean?

Where's she going?

Well, she's flying back to la.

I thought you knew that.

Hey-- what was that about?

I don't know.

Mr. Jensen told me to come
up here and tell him that.

Well, this time he
didn't even stare at it.

Oh, thank you.

You're welcome.

Merrill, there's nothing wrong
with painting you in the nude.

After all, it is the way you
were brought into this world.

Right.

But that's not the way
I want to be brought

into the acapulco lounge.

Now, merrill--

please, Barbara.

Open the door.

All right.

Oh.

Oh.

What's wrong?

The painting's gone.

How could it be gone?

Well, I suppose they
came and picked it up

and took it to the
acapulco lounge.

Oh.

The unveiling's
in a few minutes.

We've got to stop it.

Come on.

Merrill--

gopher, I finally meet
a girl I'm crazy about it

she's got a rule against me.

Now wait a minute.

She doesn't have any
rule against you.

She's got a rule
against somebody

that lives in the same apartment
building as she does, right?

So if you love her that much,
just move out of your apartment

and get another one.

I can't afford it.

I just spent a
fortune redecorating.

But I can afford a cablegram
saying I bought another.

The radio office is that way.

Thanks a lot, buddy.

All right.

Laura, Laura.

Please don't leave.

It's a little late
for that, isn't it?

It's never too late
to tell the truth.

I know I've been
acting strange lately.

Strange doesn't
begin to describe

how you've been acting lately.

I have a plane to catch.

Laura, please listen to me.

Mr. Jensen did recognize me.

Back before I knew you
when I was still drinking,

I stole some liquor
from his store.

Now he wants to press
charges against me.

He could keep me from
becoming a lawyer.

Why didn't you tell
me about this before?

I'm your wife.

We're not supposed
to have secrets.

I know.

But I was afraid you
wouldn't understand.

I was afraid it would change
how you felt about me.

Stan, I love you.

And now that you've
told me about this,

we can face it together.

Ok?

I'm so glad I married you.

Pardon me, you two.

What do you want?

I want to apologize.

I thought I
recognized you as one

of the punks who beat me up.

I see now you're not
that person at all.

I'm sorry.

You know, I just
remembered something else.

What?

We're on our honeymoon.

What are we waiting for?

Hey, Julie.

Hi, doc.

Doc.

Oh, miss Julie.

Where is captain stubing?

It's way past time for me
to unveil his portrait.

Well, he may have
gotten cold feet.

He may not show up.

Hm.

Then I guess its time
for me to do this now.

Ladies and gentlemen,
ladies and gentlemen,

tonight we have a very
special treat for you.

Barbara Braden,
the famous artist,

has been painting a
portrait of captain stubing.

He's obviously too modest to
be here for the unveiling.

So without any further ado.

[Drum roll]

May I present our very own
captain merrill stubing.

Oh, no.

Is she kidding?

Is that the captain?

I didn't recognize
him without his hat on.

That's me.

I love it.

[Laughter]

I love it.

[Applause]

[Knocking]

Yes?

How do you do Ms. Weldon?

Since you're so properly
choosy about your relationship

with your neighbors,
I wanted to come by

and tell you that I've
just received a cablegram

I'd like you to read.

Well, this says you just
bought a new condominium.

That's right.

At 1000 elysian park
on nice neighborhood.

The best.

So if you have a
friend that would

like to buy my old apartment, I
thought I'd let you know first.

Good evening, Ms. Weldon.

Wait a minute, Don.

Don?

Do you realize what
this cablegram means?

No.

What?

Well, since we're not going
to be neighbors anymore,

my rule doesn't apply to you.

Hey, that's right.

Would you like to
come in for a nightcap?

Well, I'd like to but,
well, I have this rule--

I never date girls that
don't live in my building.

[Laughter]

I'm sorry, Barbara.

I guess I should have
known you'd never embarrass

me in front of everybody.

I think I should be
the one to apologize.

I didn't exactly paint you
the way I was supposed to.

No, you certainly didn't.

Oh, merrill, I couldn't
paint you the way

I paint my other subjects.

They're jobs.

I get paid for that.

This was a labor of love.

There it is, that magic word.

Wouldn't it upset you terribly
if I told you I loved you?

No.

Oh, merrill.

I will always treasure
our time together

and I will never forget you.

Ever.

Barbara, tell me I'm wrong.

Tell me you're not
saying goodbye.

I'm not.

We'll have to be together
again someday, somehow.

But we-- we have to.

Someday?

When?

I don't know.

Give me time, please.

I've always thought of
myself as a free spirit,

one of the blessings
of being an artist.

Now I see it's one of the--

one of the curses.

Please, darling.

Give me time.

Please.

Please.

Well, well, well.

Together again.

Looks like the honeymoon
worked out after all.

Well, we're just
getting started.

And we're never
going to let it end.

Bye, bye.

Bye.

Before you go, young man, i'd
like to get your phone number.

Oh, I thought we got that all
straightened out last night.

We did.

I just thought I might need
a good lawyer some time

and you're the man
I'd like to call.

Thank you.

So Don, I see
everything worked out

after you got that cablegram
saying that your condominium

sale went through, aye?

So long, gopher.

It's nice meeting you.

Oh, relax honey.

I know all about
that phony cable.

You do?

I was bought up in
Los Angeles and I know

it like the back of my hand.

And if your new apartment
is at 1000 elysian park,

then your living room has to
be right behind second base

at dodger stadium.

I love you.

I love you, too.

See you, gopher.

Bye.

What do you know?

Guy finally hit a home run.

Barbara, I'm so glad we
got a chance to say goodbye.

I am too.

I was certainly a pleasure
meeting all of you.

It was nice meeting you, too.

Even though I didn't get
to see much of dad while

you were here.

Listen, you two
girls, tell me.

What did you think of
the captain's portrait?

Well, uh, to tell you the
truth, uh, it's like nothing

I've ever seen before.

Well, I do realize
it isn't exactly what

the cruise line had in mind.

So Barbara will
have to come back

someday and paint another one.

Mm-hm.

And I'm going to keep doing
it until I get it right.

[Laughter]

[Theme music]