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1
00:00:59,258 --> 00:01:01,626
Carrie!
Hm?
2
00:01:01,627 --> 00:01:03,294
Oh, crap.
3
00:01:41,517 --> 00:01:43,017
Carrie?
Yeah?
4
00:01:43,018 --> 00:01:45,220
Take a look at this.
5
00:01:45,221 --> 00:01:46,688
What does this
tell you?
6
00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:47,822
I don't know.
7
00:01:47,823 --> 00:01:50,425
Those Queer Eye guys
got ahold of ya?
8
00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:58,249
No, I had to borrow
your dad's socks
9
00:01:58,250 --> 00:01:59,250
'cause I'm out of socks.
10
00:01:59,251 --> 00:02:00,318
My socks are not clean,
11
00:02:00,319 --> 00:02:01,953
and I don't have
any clean underwear.
12
00:02:01,954 --> 00:02:04,406
Okay, it's like a mosh pit
down there.
13
00:02:04,407 --> 00:02:08,160
All right,
so borrow a pair from my dad.
14
00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:09,511
I tried.
I couldn't figure out
15
00:02:09,512 --> 00:02:11,880
all the snaps and pulleys.
16
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:13,848
I'm sorry that I'm behind
on the laundry
17
00:02:13,849 --> 00:02:16,017
because I had to cook dinner,
clean up afterwards,
18
00:02:16,018 --> 00:02:17,419
and now I'm paying
all our bills.
19
00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:19,554
I told you I'd help you
with that. You never let me.
20
00:02:19,555 --> 00:02:22,224
That's because the last time
I let you pay the electric bill,
21
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:24,392
we spent three days
huddled together in the dark
22
00:02:24,393 --> 00:02:27,012
with blankets and candles.
23
00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:28,863
And shadow puppets.
24
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,856
I need your paycheck,
please.
25
00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:39,223
I got it.
26
00:02:40,526 --> 00:02:41,893
Thank you.
27
00:02:41,894 --> 00:02:44,029
What's this scribbled
on the back?
28
00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:46,347
Oh, I was playing around
with an idea
29
00:02:46,348 --> 00:02:48,783
for a new Jets logo.
30
00:02:48,784 --> 00:02:51,036
Are they lookin'
for one?
31
00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:51,936
No.
32
00:02:54,290 --> 00:02:55,390
Oh, honey,
look at this.
33
00:02:55,391 --> 00:02:56,658
With my raise
last month,
34
00:02:56,659 --> 00:02:59,044
I actually make more
than you do now.
35
00:02:59,045 --> 00:02:59,844
What?
36
00:02:59,845 --> 00:03:00,795
Yeah, look.
37
00:03:00,796 --> 00:03:02,847
No, you don't.
I do, look.
38
00:03:02,848 --> 00:03:05,082
Oh, that's 'cause
I got all these deductions.
39
00:03:05,083 --> 00:03:08,353
Look, I got all this FICA.
That's what's bringin' me down.
40
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:10,655
No, they took FICA.
from me too.
41
00:03:10,656 --> 00:03:12,724
Look, my check can beat up
your check.
44
00:03:16,662 --> 00:03:18,128
Oh, come on,
I'm teasing you.
45
00:03:18,129 --> 00:03:21,165
We should be proud of ourselves.
We're doing really well.
46
00:03:21,166 --> 00:03:22,033
We are?
Yes.
47
00:03:22,034 --> 00:03:24,201
And according
to my calculations,
48
00:03:24,202 --> 00:03:26,955
we actually have
some disposable income.
49
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:30,242
Really? What do you wanna
dispose it on?
50
00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:33,027
Um, well, we can start an IRA,
you know?
51
00:03:33,028 --> 00:03:35,997
Start saving
for our retirement.
52
00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:38,516
Mm-hm, mm-hm.
53
00:03:40,419 --> 00:03:43,338
What else ya got?
54
00:03:43,339 --> 00:03:45,623
Okay, well,
we do need to upgrade
55
00:03:45,624 --> 00:03:47,509
our heating system.
56
00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:50,378
That is true.
We do need to upgrade the heat-
57
00:03:50,379 --> 00:03:52,647
But even more
than the heating system,
58
00:03:52,648 --> 00:03:55,317
haven't we been needing
a speedboat?
59
00:03:56,485 --> 00:03:58,720
Okay, let's put a pin
in the speedboat.
60
00:03:58,721 --> 00:04:00,137
Now,
I'm all for splurging,
61
00:04:00,138 --> 00:04:02,774
but it's gotta be something
we both could enjoy.
62
00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:03,708
Okay.
63
00:04:03,709 --> 00:04:05,009
How 'bout a speedboat
64
00:04:05,010 --> 00:04:06,777
and a male dancer?
65
00:04:15,337 --> 00:04:16,470
Hey, Arthur.
66
00:04:16,471 --> 00:04:17,605
Ah, Spence, my boy.
67
00:04:17,606 --> 00:04:20,875
Here for another lesson
in gin rummy?
68
00:04:20,876 --> 00:04:22,293
A- A lesson?
69
00:04:22,294 --> 00:04:26,414
As of yesterday,
you owe me $82,000.
70
00:04:27,148 --> 00:04:29,233
Ah, yes.
71
00:04:29,234 --> 00:04:31,836
Double or nothing
is a cruel mistress.
72
00:04:33,204 --> 00:04:35,272
Look,
I'll tell you what.
73
00:04:35,273 --> 00:04:38,275
I'll forget the whole gin debt
if you'll do something for me
74
00:04:38,276 --> 00:04:40,210
that'll make me
very, very happy.
75
00:04:41,613 --> 00:04:44,866
I'm not sure I'm comfortable
where this is headed.
76
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:45,850
Listen.
77
00:04:45,851 --> 00:04:48,386
It's about my mom.
What about her?
78
00:04:48,387 --> 00:04:49,654
She's out in the car.
I'm-
79
00:04:49,655 --> 00:04:52,757
I'm taking her
to the podiatrist right now.
80
00:04:52,758 --> 00:04:54,209
The thing is,
81
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,294
she's been feeling
really down lately, you know.
82
00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:57,928
Sh-she feels
like nobody wants her
83
00:04:57,929 --> 00:05:00,131
or needs her
for anything anymore.
84
00:05:00,132 --> 00:05:02,416
Well, if your mother's
one thing, she's astute.
85
00:05:02,417 --> 00:05:03,952
Cou- Just-
86
00:05:06,338 --> 00:05:09,673
Couldn't you just-
Couldn't you just go out
87
00:05:09,674 --> 00:05:12,010
and ask her to a movie
or something?
88
00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:13,844
How can I put this nicely?
89
00:05:13,845 --> 00:05:16,447
Your mother's
not my cup of tea
90
00:05:16,448 --> 00:05:18,849
and that I find her
hideous and annoying.
91
00:05:21,403 --> 00:05:24,906
Thanks
for putting it nicely.
92
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:27,776
Spencer, I don't want
to be late for Dr. Kaplan.
93
00:05:27,777 --> 00:05:31,245
This hammer toe
won't correct itself.
94
00:05:31,246 --> 00:05:32,781
Hello, Arthur.
95
00:05:32,782 --> 00:05:34,833
Veronica.
I'd love to stay and chat,
96
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:38,236
but I'm counseling runaways
in the basement.
97
00:05:58,774 --> 00:06:00,491
Who are you?
98
00:06:02,611 --> 00:06:05,313
Why are you stealing
my underwear?
99
00:06:05,314 --> 00:06:06,564
¿Qué?
100
00:06:06,565 --> 00:06:08,015
Oh.
Hey, honey.
101
00:06:08,016 --> 00:06:10,952
Um, Inez,
this is my esposo, Doug.
102
00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:12,871
Ah, mucho gusto.
¿Cómo está?
103
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,872
Yeah. Um, uh...
104
00:06:16,325 --> 00:06:18,243
Me voy a lavar la ropa.
105
00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:21,012
Oh, lavar. Yes. Laundry.
Sí, sí, sí, sí.
106
00:06:22,898 --> 00:06:25,300
Okay, what-? What's going on?
Who's that lady?
107
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:26,918
She's our maid!
108
00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:28,169
What?
109
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:29,537
Yes. After our talk
last night,
110
00:06:29,538 --> 00:06:30,938
I was downstairs
doing laundry,
111
00:06:30,939 --> 00:06:33,641
trying to Shout out
anchovy paste from your T-shirt,
112
00:06:33,642 --> 00:06:35,776
and I thought,
what would be better
113
00:06:35,777 --> 00:06:37,979
than having some help
around here?
114
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:39,347
A speedboat.
115
00:06:39,348 --> 00:06:41,081
No.
116
00:06:41,082 --> 00:06:43,451
We- We were supposed to get
something we both enjoyed.
117
00:06:43,452 --> 00:06:45,770
Doug,
the maid's for you too.
118
00:06:45,771 --> 00:06:47,088
Really!
119
00:06:47,089 --> 00:06:49,090
Can I fish off her bow?
120
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,911
No, but she can do your laundry,
your dishes,
121
00:06:53,912 --> 00:06:55,947
and clean up
after your mess.
122
00:06:55,948 --> 00:06:58,199
Hm. I already had someone
doing that. You!
123
00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,450
Doug, come on.
124
00:06:59,451 --> 00:07:01,102
This is crazy, Car-
This is a big thing,
125
00:07:01,103 --> 00:07:02,520
and you don't even ask me?
126
00:07:02,521 --> 00:07:04,622
No- It's just that
I fell in love with her, honey,
127
00:07:04,623 --> 00:07:06,658
and I told her
it's only a one-week trial
128
00:07:06,659 --> 00:07:09,210
upon approval of my husband.
129
00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:12,013
A- and she knows that?
D- d-does she even speak English?
130
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:15,266
A little. But look, I remember
Spanish from high school,
131
00:07:15,267 --> 00:07:17,886
and I bought you
an English-Spanish dictionary.
132
00:07:17,887 --> 00:07:20,387
Oh, great.
N- now I gotta read. Okay.
133
00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:23,974
Doug, will you just give her
a chance?
134
00:07:23,975 --> 00:07:26,060
You will fall in love with her.
Please.
135
00:07:26,061 --> 00:07:27,946
I don't know. I just...
136
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:31,032
Did I mention
that Inez is an incredible cook?
137
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:32,867
She makes a Mexican dessert
138
00:07:32,868 --> 00:07:35,203
that is basically
deep-fried ice cream.
139
00:07:37,422 --> 00:07:38,889
And here's another bonus.
140
00:07:38,890 --> 00:07:40,641
When I get home from work,
I won't be busy
141
00:07:40,642 --> 00:07:42,243
doin' all the stuff
around the house.
142
00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:45,729
I will have more time
for pleasin' my man.
143
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:50,367
Now,
she really fries it?
144
00:08:01,329 --> 00:08:02,514
Hey.
145
00:08:02,515 --> 00:08:04,399
Buenos días.
146
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,416
Sí.
147
00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:09,036
Sí, señorita.
148
00:08:13,926 --> 00:08:15,994
You, eh, finish...
149
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,779
¿con sus platos?
150
00:08:17,780 --> 00:08:19,213
Platos, uh...
151
00:08:19,214 --> 00:08:20,998
Eh, platos. Platos.
152
00:08:20,999 --> 00:08:22,816
Oh, yeah, Yes, yes.
Sí. Sí. Sí.
153
00:08:22,817 --> 00:08:24,702
¿Y la leche?
Sí. Sí.
154
00:08:24,703 --> 00:08:26,538
No. No. No.
155
00:08:27,506 --> 00:08:29,107
Leche. Uh...
156
00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:30,208
Um...
157
00:08:32,844 --> 00:08:34,245
I need leche.
158
00:08:48,944 --> 00:08:50,562
...la leche...
159
00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:51,813
No. No.
160
00:08:51,814 --> 00:08:54,915
Oh, you, eh, wanted
la leche para su cereal.
161
00:08:54,916 --> 00:08:57,835
Yes, I wanted-
I didn't understand you before.
162
00:08:57,836 --> 00:09:01,289
Uh, I was done with the platos
but not with the leche.
163
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:04,542
It's nobody's fault. It's just
a little communication problem.
164
00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:06,310
You know what I'm sayin'?
Ahem.
165
00:09:08,079 --> 00:09:10,131
You take the leche.
I'm gonna hit a diner.
166
00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:11,332
Yeah.
167
00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:22,443
Buenas tardes.
168
00:09:22,444 --> 00:09:23,511
Hey.
169
00:09:29,617 --> 00:09:31,034
Leche.
170
00:09:45,534 --> 00:09:47,318
Inez?
Yes?
171
00:09:47,319 --> 00:09:49,954
I- I'm looking
for the Oreos.
172
00:09:49,955 --> 00:09:51,789
Mm...
173
00:09:51,790 --> 00:09:53,307
Los Oreos?
174
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,660
Oreos? You-
The cookie?
175
00:09:56,661 --> 00:09:58,262
Mmm.
176
00:09:58,930 --> 00:10:00,147
No.
177
00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:06,854
Hey, honey.
178
00:10:06,855 --> 00:10:07,955
We got a problem.
Oh.
179
00:10:07,956 --> 00:10:09,774
Inez moved the Oreos,
and they're gone-
180
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:12,110
They're just gone.
181
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,444
Okay, honey, relax.
182
00:10:13,445 --> 00:10:15,730
We'll figure this out, okay?
183
00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:16,564
Inez?
184
00:10:16,565 --> 00:10:18,232
Yes?
Yeah, hi.
185
00:10:18,233 --> 00:10:21,936
Um, Doug is, uh,
buscando, uh, galletas.
186
00:10:22,988 --> 00:10:24,322
Oreos.
187
00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:26,490
¡Oh, las galletas!
188
00:10:27,442 --> 00:10:29,810
Los Oreos.
189
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:34,749
Oh, look, honey.
She cleaned out the cookie jar
190
00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:37,502
and put cookies in there.
191
00:10:37,503 --> 00:10:40,722
Okay, but now where are
my Arby's coupons?
192
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,156
Gracias, Inez.
193
00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,511
...mucho sus galletas...
194
00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:48,362
Oh, yeah.
Sí. Mucho galletas.
195
00:10:49,898 --> 00:10:52,299
Mucho pudding y bacon.
196
00:10:55,770 --> 00:10:56,988
Oh, yeah. Sí.
197
00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:58,005
Sí.
198
00:11:09,618 --> 00:11:11,035
Look, honey,
199
00:11:11,036 --> 00:11:13,705
Inez dusted
under the lamp.
200
00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:16,774
You know my motto, if I don't
see it, I ain't cleaning it.
201
00:11:16,775 --> 00:11:20,878
And look, she put fresh flowers
by our bed.
202
00:11:20,879 --> 00:11:23,965
Oh, that is so nice.
I'm gonna miss her.
203
00:11:23,966 --> 00:11:25,800
What?
204
00:11:25,801 --> 00:11:28,736
Well, you said it was a one-week
trial upon approval of your husband,
205
00:11:28,737 --> 00:11:30,722
And I gotta tell ya,
I don't approve.
206
00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:33,024
What do you mean?
Inez is doing great.
207
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,142
I disagree.
208
00:11:34,143 --> 00:11:35,777
Why?
What's wrong with her?
209
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:37,711
Well, for one thing,
she moves my snacks around,
210
00:11:37,712 --> 00:11:39,447
and I gotta look
all over the place.
211
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:41,348
Yeah. Well, God forbid
you burn a few calories
212
00:11:41,349 --> 00:11:43,618
before you inhale
a sheet cake.
213
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:46,821
See? See, I don't like
how you guys are together.
214
00:11:46,822 --> 00:11:48,539
What are you talking about?
215
00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:50,925
Yeah, you two laughing
and plotting against me
216
00:11:50,926 --> 00:11:54,212
in your secret
little language.
217
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:55,613
It's called Spanish,
Doug,
218
00:11:55,614 --> 00:11:58,049
and about half the world
speaks it.
219
00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,583
Not this half.
220
00:11:59,584 --> 00:12:02,102
Well, you seem to speak it
pretty well when you're ordering
221
00:12:02,103 --> 00:12:04,504
from the Taco Bell
dollar value menu.
222
00:12:04,505 --> 00:12:06,523
Yeah, yeah, you got me.
Ya got me!
223
00:12:06,524 --> 00:12:09,393
'Cause I know how to say
"burrito" and "more. "
224
00:12:09,394 --> 00:12:11,495
Doug, come on.
You're being ridiculous.
225
00:12:11,496 --> 00:12:13,363
Car- You did this
without even asking me.
226
00:12:13,364 --> 00:12:15,299
A- a-and what about
all this fried ice cream
227
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:16,400
I'm supposed to see,
huh?
228
00:12:16,401 --> 00:12:18,352
Haven't seen it!
229
00:12:18,353 --> 00:12:20,688
All right. Well, you know what?
This is crazy.
230
00:12:20,689 --> 00:12:22,589
Inez is doing a great job,
and she's staying.
231
00:12:22,590 --> 00:12:24,591
Well, if she's staying,
she's working for free
232
00:12:24,592 --> 00:12:26,593
'cause I ain't paying her.
Then I'll pay her.
233
00:12:26,594 --> 00:12:28,696
I pay for most of her anyway. Hm?
234
00:12:28,697 --> 00:12:30,081
What?
235
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:31,715
Oh. So that's what
this is about.
236
00:12:31,716 --> 00:12:33,117
You think
you're the boss
237
00:12:33,118 --> 00:12:35,503
'cause you're making
a few more dollars than I am.
238
00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:36,687
More than a few.
239
00:12:36,688 --> 00:12:38,455
Oh!
Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha.
240
00:12:38,456 --> 00:12:40,057
The gloves are off.
241
00:12:40,058 --> 00:12:41,192
Let me tell ya something.
242
00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:42,226
If you want a war
243
00:12:42,227 --> 00:12:44,028
over who calls the shots
in this marriage,
244
00:12:44,029 --> 00:12:45,713
you got one, sister.
245
00:12:45,714 --> 00:12:48,516
Doug,
I don't want a war.
246
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,667
Well, you got one,
sister.
247
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,759
Oh, careful.
I just put down some Glo-Coat.
248
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,028
Uh, Veronica.
What's going on?
249
00:13:01,029 --> 00:13:02,363
Oh.
250
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:04,615
Doug hired me.
Didn't he tell ya?
251
00:13:04,616 --> 00:13:07,318
No.
No, he did not.
252
00:13:07,319 --> 00:13:09,487
Well, maybe he wanted it
to be a surprise.
253
00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:12,156
Yeah, I'm sure he did.
Yeah.
254
00:13:12,157 --> 00:13:13,256
Well, God bless him.
255
00:13:13,257 --> 00:13:16,294
Just feels so good
to be working again.
256
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:17,078
Hey, Car.
257
00:13:17,079 --> 00:13:20,047
You, uh,
met our new maid Veronica.
258
00:13:20,048 --> 00:13:21,248
Yes.
259
00:13:21,249 --> 00:13:23,000
I've met Spence's mother.
260
00:13:23,001 --> 00:13:25,135
I hope it's not a problem,
but...
261
00:13:25,136 --> 00:13:27,004
she speaks English.
262
00:13:28,757 --> 00:13:32,143
Oh, I'd better dump this trash
before it gets too full.
263
00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:34,327
Oh, good eye, good eye.
She's on top of things.
264
00:13:34,328 --> 00:13:36,347
You are a treasure.
265
00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:37,614
Oh, stop!
266
00:13:40,602 --> 00:13:44,522
All right, just what in the hell
do you think you're doing?
267
00:13:44,523 --> 00:13:46,891
Just giving a senior citizen
a sense of purpose.
268
00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:48,325
Feels good.
269
00:13:51,246 --> 00:13:53,981
Doug, this is ridiculous.
We can't have two maids.
270
00:13:53,982 --> 00:13:55,415
I agree.
Get rid of yours.
271
00:13:55,416 --> 00:13:56,483
No!
272
00:13:56,484 --> 00:13:58,035
Okay, then,
we got two maids.
273
00:13:58,036 --> 00:14:00,254
Hey, you know what?
We can race 'em.
274
00:14:00,255 --> 00:14:01,822
Okay,
you do understand
275
00:14:01,823 --> 00:14:04,508
that we can't afford
to pay two maids?
276
00:14:04,509 --> 00:14:05,626
I don't care.
277
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:06,427
Okay, you know what?
278
00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:08,713
We can go bankrupt
for all I care.
279
00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:10,298
I would love that.
280
00:14:10,299 --> 00:14:12,884
Good. I hope we end up
living in our car.
281
00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:15,920
Great. Hope your father
likes living on the roof.
282
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:29,850
¿Más cáfe?
283
00:14:29,851 --> 00:14:31,952
Oh, yes.
Gracias, Inez.
284
00:14:31,953 --> 00:14:35,689
And by the way, Inez,
this chile relleno...
285
00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:37,742
is, uh, muy bueno.
286
00:14:37,743 --> 00:14:39,343
Gracias.
Mm-hm.
287
00:14:39,344 --> 00:14:41,345
It's just so cheesy.
288
00:14:46,551 --> 00:14:48,169
Veronica!
289
00:14:48,170 --> 00:14:49,520
Yeah?
Do you need something?
290
00:14:49,521 --> 00:14:51,422
No, no, no.
I just wanted to let you know
291
00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:54,175
that you've outdone yourself
with tonight's dinner.
292
00:14:54,176 --> 00:14:54,976
Oh.
293
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,210
It's just fish sticks.
294
00:14:57,161 --> 00:15:00,514
Yeah, but they were
just so fishy.
295
00:15:03,001 --> 00:15:05,886
Uh, Doug, could you
pass the salt, please?
296
00:15:06,888 --> 00:15:08,155
Sure.
297
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,495
Mm-mm.
Mm-mm-mm.
298
00:15:16,198 --> 00:15:17,998
Thank you.
299
00:15:21,336 --> 00:15:23,353
Well, listen,
let me clean up
300
00:15:23,354 --> 00:15:25,089
some of these
dirty dishes here-
301
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,158
Oh!
Oh, I'm sorry.
302
00:15:27,159 --> 00:15:28,692
I'll-
I'll clean that right up.
303
00:15:28,693 --> 00:15:31,378
Uh-uh. Th-th-that's okay.
That's Mrs. Heffernan's drink.
304
00:15:31,379 --> 00:15:32,713
Inez will clean that up.
305
00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:35,132
No, Inez.
Veronica spilled it.
306
00:15:35,133 --> 00:15:37,468
I'm sure she wants
to clean it.
307
00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:39,036
No, she doesn't.
308
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,273
Doug, come on-
Shh.
309
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,411
This is
between the maids now.
310
00:15:51,199 --> 00:15:53,651
All right, could we just
end this now please?
311
00:15:53,652 --> 00:15:55,202
Fine.
You know what, Veronica?
312
00:15:55,203 --> 00:15:58,722
I'll be having my Oreos
in the kitchen tonight.
313
00:16:07,315 --> 00:16:08,615
Veronica.
314
00:16:08,616 --> 00:16:10,167
Oh, hey, Arthur.
315
00:16:10,168 --> 00:16:12,169
So now you're stalking me.
316
00:16:13,705 --> 00:16:14,905
I'd call the authorities
317
00:16:14,906 --> 00:16:16,640
if I didn't have
an outstanding warrant
318
00:16:16,641 --> 00:16:17,841
in New Hampshire.
319
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,127
Relax.
320
00:16:20,128 --> 00:16:22,162
Doug hired me to help
around the house.
321
00:16:22,163 --> 00:16:24,648
See? I'm washing out
his work clothes.
322
00:16:24,649 --> 00:16:25,782
Oh.
323
00:16:25,783 --> 00:16:28,402
So am I to understand
you're the maid?
324
00:16:28,403 --> 00:16:29,353
Yeah.
325
00:16:29,354 --> 00:16:30,688
Oh.
326
00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:33,090
Then as master of the house,
327
00:16:33,091 --> 00:16:35,259
I'll leave you
to your duties.
328
00:16:44,535 --> 00:16:46,103
Hm.
329
00:16:46,104 --> 00:16:48,072
What is it?
330
00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:52,076
It's just this sudden change
in circumstances.
331
00:16:53,144 --> 00:16:55,545
I must admit...
332
00:16:55,546 --> 00:16:59,633
I'm finding it
rather titillating.
333
00:16:59,634 --> 00:17:00,885
You do?
334
00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:04,154
Perhaps it's the taboo
of class distinction
335
00:17:04,155 --> 00:17:08,592
or the allure or your stern
yet body-hugging uniform.
336
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:14,365
But I'm seeing you
in a whole new light.
337
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:17,234
Look, Arthur,
I was hired to work here.
338
00:17:17,235 --> 00:17:20,154
Now, any personal relationship
between us
339
00:17:20,155 --> 00:17:23,240
would be
totally inappropriate.
340
00:17:23,241 --> 00:17:26,910
You know just what to say
to get me going.
341
00:17:41,109 --> 00:17:42,542
Look at this.
342
00:17:44,429 --> 00:17:46,330
Apparently,
someone thought doing laundry
343
00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:50,301
wasn't as important
as watching Sábado Gigante.
344
00:17:56,741 --> 00:17:59,025
You know what they say.
When life gives you lemons...
345
00:17:59,026 --> 00:18:01,461
you get lemon maid.
346
00:18:04,899 --> 00:18:06,666
Inez, uh,
¿Qué?
347
00:18:06,667 --> 00:18:09,420
what's going on
with the, uh, lavaro here?
348
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,705
No puedo ir abajo.
349
00:18:11,706 --> 00:18:13,924
Why can't you go downstairs?
¿Porqué?
350
00:18:13,925 --> 00:18:18,262
Porque Veronica siempre
downstairs haciendo
351
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:21,365
boom-boom
con Señor Grandpa.
352
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:29,173
Do you know
what's going on?
353
00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:31,358
Instead of doing
her work,
354
00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:35,529
Veronica is downstairs
boom-booming my dad!
355
00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:37,281
What?
356
00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:40,183
Yeah! That's why Inez
can't do the laundry.
357
00:18:40,184 --> 00:18:42,703
Your maid
is ruining my maid.
358
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:44,054
You're just jealous
359
00:18:44,055 --> 00:18:47,391
'cause my maid's
willing to go the extra mile.
360
00:18:50,661 --> 00:18:52,930
Oh, I'm sorry.
Sorry I was downstairs so long.
361
00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:55,032
I had to catch up
on my ironing.
362
00:18:59,237 --> 00:19:00,938
Okay,
you know what?
363
00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:02,239
I will handle this
364
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,308
just like I handle
everything else around here.
365
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:07,010
So why don't you eat a ring-ding
or a Ho Ho or a hoo-hoo-
366
00:19:07,011 --> 00:19:09,813
Whatever the hell it is
you eat now, okay?
367
00:19:09,814 --> 00:19:12,415
Uh, Veronica,
it's pretty obvious
368
00:19:12,416 --> 00:19:15,686
that we have a crazy thing
going on here.
369
00:19:15,687 --> 00:19:17,237
But, uh, you've been doing
a great job,
370
00:19:17,238 --> 00:19:18,939
but I'm gonna have
to let you go.
371
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:20,741
Uh, excuse me.
You do not have that authority.
372
00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:22,609
Yes, I do 'cause I'm the boss.
You're fired.
373
00:19:22,610 --> 00:19:23,910
No, no.
You stay right here.
374
00:19:23,911 --> 00:19:25,845
If anybody's getting the boot,
it's her.
375
00:19:25,846 --> 00:19:28,114
Sorry, Inez.
You're fired.
376
00:19:28,115 --> 00:19:29,033
¿Qúe?
377
00:19:29,034 --> 00:19:31,034
Oh, God,
what is the word here?
378
00:19:31,035 --> 00:19:33,170
The word. Uh...
379
00:19:33,171 --> 00:19:35,539
Sorry, Inez.
You're confuego.
380
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:39,610
Okay, idiot.
You just told her she's on fire.
381
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,129
She knows what I mean.
Yeah.
382
00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:43,547
Why are you still here?
383
00:19:43,548 --> 00:19:45,049
He told me to stay.
384
00:19:45,050 --> 00:19:48,018
And I am telling you to leave,
or it is go time.
385
00:19:48,019 --> 00:19:49,220
Oh!
386
00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:50,921
Go time. Let's go.
Yes, absolutely.
387
00:19:50,922 --> 00:19:52,789
Esto es imposible.
388
00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:55,976
No, no
- Yeah, right. Absolutely.
389
00:19:55,977 --> 00:19:59,296
Sorry. Don't let the, uh, puerta
hit you in the, uh...
390
00:19:59,297 --> 00:20:00,898
You know!
391
00:20:07,155 --> 00:20:09,356
Never would've happened
if we got a speedboat.
392
00:20:17,431 --> 00:20:18,431
Veronica.
393
00:20:18,432 --> 00:20:19,550
Yes?
394
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:22,419
Do you have a moment to pop
on down to my room?
395
00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:23,671
Why?
396
00:20:23,672 --> 00:20:25,956
There's something wrong
with my bed.
397
00:20:25,957 --> 00:20:28,008
You're not in it.
398
00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:29,993
We have all the time
in the world now.
399
00:20:29,994 --> 00:20:32,179
Carrie fired me.
400
00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:34,348
So you're no longer
the maid?
401
00:20:34,349 --> 00:20:35,432
No.
402
00:20:35,433 --> 00:20:39,052
But after all we've shared,
403
00:20:39,053 --> 00:20:41,655
does that really matter now?
404
00:20:42,607 --> 00:20:44,274
I'll call you.
28047
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