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1
00:00:11,943 --> 00:00:13,645
You got the hiccups.
2
00:00:14,547 --> 00:00:15,831
What gave me away?
3
00:00:16,799 --> 00:00:18,884
The hiccups?
4
00:00:18,885 --> 00:00:20,652
How about
I scare you?
5
00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:22,721
Guaranteed
to get rid of them.
6
00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:24,890
It's all right, Arthur.
I'm fine, thanks.
7
00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:26,724
Okay,
suit yourself.
8
00:00:26,725 --> 00:00:28,593
I just thought that-
Boo!
9
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:33,464
Okay, still have the hiccups,
10
00:00:33,465 --> 00:00:35,617
and now there's tuna
on me.
11
00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:37,369
Actually it's chicken
salad- Boo!
12
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:38,487
Stop!
13
00:00:38,488 --> 00:00:39,688
Boo! Boo!
Stop it! Stop!
14
00:00:40,872 --> 00:00:42,074
I'm trying to help!
15
00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:43,458
I don't need your help,
all right?
16
00:00:43,459 --> 00:00:45,377
So knock it off!
I'm sorry, Douglas.
17
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:46,745
I was merely trying
to repay you
18
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:50,214
for all the kindness
you've shown me.
19
00:00:50,215 --> 00:00:53,284
But I clearly, uh,
overstepped my bounds.
20
00:00:53,285 --> 00:00:55,170
Believe me,
21
00:00:55,171 --> 00:00:56,120
it won't happen again.
22
00:01:07,249 --> 00:01:08,650
Arthur, look,
I just wanted to-
23
00:01:13,255 --> 00:01:15,740
You're welcome.
24
00:01:50,259 --> 00:01:52,243
Well, there you go.
25
00:01:52,244 --> 00:01:56,448
You drink it in, my little
meaty-weaty steakie-weakies.
26
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,049
Yes.
27
00:01:58,050 --> 00:02:00,117
Daddy's gonna give you
a nice little bath,
28
00:02:00,118 --> 00:02:02,286
and after your bath,
he's gonna cook you
29
00:02:02,287 --> 00:02:03,287
and eat you.
30
00:02:03,288 --> 00:02:05,189
Yes, he is. Yes, he is.
31
00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:06,641
Hey, honey.
Hey, there she is.
32
00:02:06,642 --> 00:02:08,192
All right,
let's fire up the grill.
33
00:02:08,193 --> 00:02:09,327
Doug-
34
00:02:09,328 --> 00:02:10,212
Okay, now I'm in charge
35
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:11,446
of steak and potatoes,
36
00:02:11,447 --> 00:02:13,615
so if you want
anything green,
37
00:02:13,616 --> 00:02:14,616
that's all you.
38
00:02:14,617 --> 00:02:16,084
Doug, stop.
What?
39
00:02:16,085 --> 00:02:18,837
I can't do this tonight.
What do you mean?
40
00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:20,004
I got stuck with this report,
41
00:02:20,005 --> 00:02:21,523
and it's due in the morning.
44
00:02:25,611 --> 00:02:27,295
Your idea was just
to have meat night,
45
00:02:27,296 --> 00:02:28,963
and that was after
I bargained you down
46
00:02:28,964 --> 00:02:30,732
from meat week.
47
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,501
Carrie, this is Kobe steak
from Japan.
48
00:02:33,502 --> 00:02:35,002
I've been looking
forward to this.
49
00:02:35,003 --> 00:02:37,022
I've rehearsed every chew.
I'm ready.
50
00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:37,839
I don't know, honey.
51
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,658
What do you want me to do?
I have to work.
52
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:43,495
Well- Why are you bringing
work home with you anyway?
53
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:44,362
It just happened.
54
00:02:44,363 --> 00:02:46,030
We were in a meeting
and Ms. Boone asked
55
00:02:46,031 --> 00:02:47,398
if anyone had any suggestions
56
00:02:47,399 --> 00:02:50,252
on how to lower
acquisition fees.
57
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:53,004
Don't tell me
you said something.
58
00:02:53,005 --> 00:02:55,123
I just said maybe
we should research
59
00:02:55,124 --> 00:02:57,709
out-of-state
escrow companies.
60
00:02:57,710 --> 00:02:59,327
And then she said,
"Great idea, Carrie.
61
00:02:59,328 --> 00:03:01,463
Why don't you take
the ball on this one?"
62
00:03:01,464 --> 00:03:03,131
And you took it?
63
00:03:03,132 --> 00:03:04,482
You never take the ball!
64
00:03:04,483 --> 00:03:06,834
The ball's trouble.
It's always trouble.
65
00:03:06,835 --> 00:03:09,604
I know,
but I had an idea.
66
00:03:09,605 --> 00:03:10,655
You-? You had an idea?
67
00:03:10,656 --> 00:03:12,757
Do you know how many times
I've had ideas at work,
68
00:03:12,758 --> 00:03:14,725
ways to improve service,
improve safety,
69
00:03:14,726 --> 00:03:15,726
prevent accidents?
70
00:03:15,727 --> 00:03:18,796
But I keep my mouth shut.
71
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,049
Look,
how about this:
72
00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:23,651
we let the meat
keep marinating,
73
00:03:23,652 --> 00:03:24,919
and we'll have it
tomorrow.
74
00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:28,373
Tomorrow? That seems
like a million years away.
75
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:33,578
And tomorrow it'll be
meat, movie, and me night, hm?
76
00:03:33,579 --> 00:03:36,798
I still get the big steak?
77
00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,667
Yes, honey.
78
00:03:38,668 --> 00:03:40,585
Okay, well, what time
will you be home?
79
00:03:40,586 --> 00:03:42,770
I'm not sure,
but I will call
80
00:03:42,771 --> 00:03:44,138
as soon
as I'm on my way,
81
00:03:44,139 --> 00:03:46,424
and that'll be your signal
to fire up the grill.
82
00:03:46,425 --> 00:03:47,425
Okay.
83
00:03:47,426 --> 00:03:49,728
Wh-what's
the signal again?
84
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,078
When I call, baby.
When I call, okay?
85
00:03:51,079 --> 00:03:52,847
I read you. I got it. Yeah.
All right.
86
00:03:56,051 --> 00:03:57,919
Hey, you get off of there.
Get off of there.
87
00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,354
And let that go.
You let that go.
88
00:03:59,355 --> 00:04:00,689
Relax, Douglas.
Bad!
89
00:04:00,690 --> 00:04:05,076
I was just admiring
these two wonderful Kobe steaks.
90
00:04:05,077 --> 00:04:06,444
Where's mine?
91
00:04:06,445 --> 00:04:08,863
Well, if you have one,
it's still in Japan.
92
00:04:08,864 --> 00:04:10,532
Always with the quips.
93
00:04:10,533 --> 00:04:12,284
Seriously,
is it in the fridge?
94
00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:13,835
No, just these
two steaks, Arthur.
95
00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:16,004
Carrie and I were gonna have
a special dinner.
96
00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:18,623
I see. And what was I supposed
to eat? Dog food?
97
00:04:18,624 --> 00:04:21,526
No, lasagna
from last night.
98
00:04:21,527 --> 00:04:23,795
Okay, I see how it works
around here.
99
00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:26,131
Shove some leftovers
down the old man's throat,
100
00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:27,698
then as soon
as his back is turned,
101
00:04:27,699 --> 00:04:30,552
out comes the champagne
and caviar.
102
00:04:30,553 --> 00:04:31,686
Okay, you know what,
Arthur?
103
00:04:31,687 --> 00:04:34,689
It's one dinner. Just relax.
I will not relax!
104
00:04:34,690 --> 00:04:38,026
What other luxuries do you
and Carrie keep hidden from me?
105
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,227
Nothing.
106
00:04:39,761 --> 00:04:41,329
Ah-ha!
107
00:04:41,330 --> 00:04:44,816
Why don't I have
any of this downstairs?
108
00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:46,217
'Cause that's
dishwashing liquid,
109
00:04:46,218 --> 00:04:48,036
and you don't have a dishwasher.
110
00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:48,870
Exactly.
111
00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:51,072
Check and mate.
112
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,662
Hey.
113
00:04:57,663 --> 00:04:58,663
Ms. Boone said anything
114
00:04:58,664 --> 00:05:00,048
about your report yet?
115
00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:01,800
No, and she's had it
all day.
116
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,219
Well, that's not
necessarily bad.
117
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:05,470
Of course it's bad.
118
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,055
I know. I tried.
119
00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:08,556
My husband told me
not to take the ball.
120
00:05:08,557 --> 00:05:09,957
I should've listened to him.
121
00:05:09,958 --> 00:05:12,694
He's a very wise man.
122
00:05:18,734 --> 00:05:20,335
Well, I'm gonna head out.
123
00:05:20,336 --> 00:05:21,603
I'm meeting
some of the girls
124
00:05:21,604 --> 00:05:23,571
at T.G.I. Friday's
for Shrimp Fest.
125
00:05:23,572 --> 00:05:24,406
I'll walk out with you.
126
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:25,673
I just gotta call my husband.
127
00:05:25,674 --> 00:05:27,191
And tell him I'm on my way.
Okay.
128
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:35,500
Actually, you know what?
129
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:36,634
You go ahead.
I-
130
00:05:36,635 --> 00:05:38,603
I gotta find out
what she thought of my report.
131
00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:39,788
It's gonna drive me nuts.
132
00:05:39,789 --> 00:05:41,438
Okay. Good luck.
Thanks.
133
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:47,561
Come in.
134
00:05:48,814 --> 00:05:51,216
Uh, I was just, um,
headed out.
135
00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:53,968
Oh, you're joining
the girls for Shrimp Fest?
136
00:05:53,969 --> 00:05:55,520
Uh... no.
137
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:57,389
Actually, I just
wanted to, uh,
138
00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:59,307
talk to you
about my report.
139
00:05:59,308 --> 00:06:01,609
Oh, yes, your report.
Yeah.
140
00:06:01,610 --> 00:06:03,043
Listen, I just think
you should know
141
00:06:03,044 --> 00:06:05,379
that, uh, reports are really
not my thing, okay?
142
00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,214
But I'm still
a heck of a typist,
143
00:06:07,215 --> 00:06:09,383
and I could, uh,
file like the wind,
144
00:06:09,384 --> 00:06:10,985
and your personal
errands,
145
00:06:10,986 --> 00:06:13,455
my personal errands.
146
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,790
Carrie, your report
was excellent.
147
00:06:15,791 --> 00:06:16,957
Really?
Yes.
148
00:06:16,958 --> 00:06:19,577
You know, I had a good feeling
about it.
149
00:06:19,578 --> 00:06:21,061
Good work, kiddo.
150
00:06:21,062 --> 00:06:23,063
And, you know, any time
you have an idea,
151
00:06:23,064 --> 00:06:24,198
I wanna hear it.
152
00:06:24,199 --> 00:06:26,200
I really value
your input.
153
00:06:26,635 --> 00:06:28,386
Wow.
What?
154
00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:29,704
No, it's just
that I've never had
155
00:06:29,705 --> 00:06:33,224
my input
valued before.
156
00:06:33,225 --> 00:06:34,408
I'm surprised,
157
00:06:34,409 --> 00:06:36,010
because you're obviously
talented,
158
00:06:36,011 --> 00:06:37,478
and you've got
a lot of potential.
159
00:06:38,397 --> 00:06:39,814
You know,
160
00:06:39,815 --> 00:06:41,165
some of the partners
are coming down
161
00:06:41,166 --> 00:06:43,534
for a conference call
with our Chicago branch
162
00:06:43,535 --> 00:06:44,735
in about 20 minutes.
163
00:06:44,736 --> 00:06:46,604
We get a deli spread
164
00:06:46,605 --> 00:06:48,606
and kind of make it
a working dinner.
165
00:06:48,607 --> 00:06:50,909
You're welcome
to sit in if you like.
166
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,111
Really?
Unless you have to get home.
167
00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:54,212
Home?
168
00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:58,366
Um... no. No.
No, no.
169
00:06:58,367 --> 00:07:01,469
Call, damn it.
170
00:07:04,106 --> 00:07:06,040
Thank you.
Thank you.
171
00:07:06,041 --> 00:07:07,041
Hello? Carrie?
172
00:07:07,042 --> 00:07:08,343
Yeah,
listen, honey-
173
00:07:15,851 --> 00:07:18,252
You're going
to sleep now.
174
00:07:18,253 --> 00:07:19,253
And when you wake up,
175
00:07:19,254 --> 00:07:22,022
you're gonna be
in my tummy.
176
00:07:22,023 --> 00:07:24,325
And so will some of you.
177
00:07:28,830 --> 00:07:29,830
What?
178
00:07:29,831 --> 00:07:31,098
Look, don't hang up.
179
00:07:31,099 --> 00:07:32,333
Is this part
of the signal?
180
00:07:32,334 --> 00:07:33,618
No, listen,
181
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:35,202
I just found out
that I have to work late
182
00:07:35,203 --> 00:07:36,971
again tonight.
183
00:07:36,972 --> 00:07:39,373
No!
184
00:07:41,510 --> 00:07:42,610
Honey, I'm sorry,
185
00:07:42,611 --> 00:07:44,012
but my boss wants me
to stay
186
00:07:44,013 --> 00:07:45,964
for an important
conference call.
187
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,549
Carrie, you promised we'd
do this tonight together. I-
188
00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:50,718
Can't you just
get out of it?
189
00:07:51,420 --> 00:07:53,388
I- I wish I could, but...
190
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:55,507
I can't.
191
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:56,591
What can I say?
192
00:07:56,592 --> 00:07:58,393
I've got another
nightmare job, you know?
193
00:07:59,828 --> 00:08:01,262
All right,
see you later.
194
00:08:04,215 --> 00:08:08,285
Mine, one-ply.
Yours, two-ply.
195
00:08:08,286 --> 00:08:11,990
Where's my second ply?
196
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,192
Arthur, you can have
a steak now, okay? You happy?
197
00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:15,710
I'll be happy when I have
a roach motel
198
00:08:15,711 --> 00:08:17,645
under my sink too.
199
00:08:23,001 --> 00:08:24,902
All right, well, I already
pulled all the comps
200
00:08:24,903 --> 00:08:26,421
for all the properties
in the areas.
201
00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:29,207
I just need you to, um,
get the tax records, okay?
202
00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:30,508
Oh, you already got them?
203
00:08:30,509 --> 00:08:32,110
Oh, well, you're the best.
Thank you.
204
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:33,478
Listen, I'm sorry
I'm so hyper.
205
00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:36,214
It's just my first time
as team leader.
206
00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:37,848
Okay, bye-bye.
207
00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:40,218
Team leader.
208
00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:46,808
Yay, honey's home. Honey.
209
00:08:46,809 --> 00:08:48,492
Hi, big guy. Come here.
Hey.
210
00:08:48,493 --> 00:08:50,527
Oh, that's
the good stuff.
211
00:08:50,528 --> 00:08:52,296
Okay.
Sorry I'm late again tonight.
212
00:08:52,297 --> 00:08:54,649
Yeah, it's, like, uh,
been every night this week.
213
00:08:54,650 --> 00:08:55,617
Yeah, I know.
214
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:57,418
That boss of mine
is killing me.
215
00:08:58,487 --> 00:08:59,670
I heard you
on the phone there
216
00:08:59,671 --> 00:09:01,873
talking about being
team leader. Yeah.
217
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:04,192
Huh? Oh, yeah, that.
Well, you know.
218
00:09:04,193 --> 00:09:05,293
You know how what they say,
219
00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:06,393
crap runs downhill?
220
00:09:06,394 --> 00:09:10,164
Well, meet the bottom
of the hill.
221
00:09:10,165 --> 00:09:12,066
Very unhappy about this.
Yeah.
222
00:09:12,484 --> 00:09:13,568
I gotta tell you,
223
00:09:13,569 --> 00:09:14,969
on the phone there,
224
00:09:14,970 --> 00:09:17,204
you didn't seem
that unhappy.
225
00:09:17,205 --> 00:09:19,440
Oh, well, that's just me
putting a good front,
226
00:09:19,441 --> 00:09:20,641
you know,
for those idiots,
227
00:09:20,642 --> 00:09:22,009
if I wanna keep my job,
you know?
228
00:09:22,010 --> 00:09:23,611
'Cause if we didn't
have bills to pay,
229
00:09:23,612 --> 00:09:24,979
pop-pop-pop-pop!
230
00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:27,247
You know what I'm sayin'?
All right. Good night, baby.
231
00:09:35,107 --> 00:09:37,909
Ah!
232
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,744
Whoa.
233
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:40,695
Oh.
234
00:09:42,698 --> 00:09:44,465
Whoa.
235
00:09:44,466 --> 00:09:47,201
Yeooh! Yeah!
236
00:09:47,202 --> 00:09:49,120
Oh!
You know what?
237
00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:51,055
This game
really blows, Spence.
238
00:09:51,056 --> 00:09:52,123
No, it doesn't.
239
00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:54,008
Danny and I were playing
in the apartment.
240
00:09:54,009 --> 00:09:55,126
We had a lot
of fun, right?
241
00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:56,127
Nah, it blew there too.
242
00:09:58,413 --> 00:09:59,747
Guys, look,
243
00:09:59,748 --> 00:10:01,599
you just gotta give it
a chance, get into it.
244
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,217
Ready? Look,
high pop fly. Whoo!
245
00:10:07,672 --> 00:10:09,941
You- You guys never wanna
try anything new.
246
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:12,109
You didn't even give
Nerf Bowling a chance.
247
00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:13,978
Yeah, sorry if I didn't
want to roll a sponge
248
00:10:13,979 --> 00:10:15,679
into 10 other sponges.
249
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:17,014
Why are you in such
a bad mood?
250
00:10:17,015 --> 00:10:18,950
Look, I don't wanna talk
about it, all right?
251
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,651
You want one
of my neck rubs?
252
00:10:22,938 --> 00:10:24,521
You want me
to leave?
253
00:10:25,690 --> 00:10:27,491
It's not you guys,
all right? It's Carrie.
254
00:10:27,492 --> 00:10:29,360
I mean, she's working
late every night.
255
00:10:29,361 --> 00:10:31,879
Acting weird.
Sneaking phone calls.
256
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,631
You think she's cheating
on you?
257
00:10:33,632 --> 00:10:35,566
No, I don't think
she's cheating. I think she...
258
00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:38,753
likes her job.
259
00:10:38,754 --> 00:10:40,471
And what's wrong
with that?
260
00:10:40,472 --> 00:10:42,640
It's just not natural.
I mean, who likes their job?
261
00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:43,741
I do.
262
00:10:43,742 --> 00:10:44,809
Really?
263
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,577
You like working
in a subway token booth?
264
00:10:46,578 --> 00:10:47,762
Yes, I do.
Didn't you tell me
265
00:10:47,763 --> 00:10:49,731
someone peed under your door?
266
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:52,883
Yeah,
but it was a girl.
267
00:10:54,603 --> 00:10:56,187
I had a job
I loved once.
268
00:10:56,188 --> 00:10:58,489
I was a DJ
at a strip club.
269
00:10:58,490 --> 00:11:00,775
If you loved it so much,
why aren't you still there?
270
00:11:00,776 --> 00:11:02,560
Ah, apparently
some of the strippers
271
00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:05,929
said I was making them
feel "uncomfortable. "
272
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,182
Oh, hey, guys.
Hey, where are you going?
273
00:11:09,183 --> 00:11:10,451
I'm going
to spinning class.
274
00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:12,219
I thought you were
going to the Mets game.
275
00:11:12,220 --> 00:11:13,721
Oh, it doesn't start
till 1:30.
276
00:11:13,722 --> 00:11:15,689
Yeah, there's a ceremony
for a peanut vendor
277
00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:17,341
who fell out
of the upper deck.
278
00:11:17,342 --> 00:11:18,425
Pretty tough guy,
though.
279
00:11:18,426 --> 00:11:21,212
He actually finished
his shift.
280
00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:22,346
I'm just gonna
go to the gym
281
00:11:22,347 --> 00:11:24,248
and then maybe a little
"shop till you drop. "
282
00:11:24,249 --> 00:11:26,484
Charge it.
Okay, I'll see you later.
283
00:11:26,485 --> 00:11:28,019
Car?
Yeah?
284
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,804
You look a little lumpy there.
285
00:11:29,805 --> 00:11:32,372
Yeah, that's why
I'm going to the gym.
286
00:11:32,373 --> 00:11:34,308
No, what do you got
going on under there?
287
00:11:34,309 --> 00:11:35,676
What are you wearing?
Stop it.
288
00:11:35,677 --> 00:11:37,711
You friends are here.
289
00:11:37,712 --> 00:11:39,613
Oh, my God,
you've got work clothes on.
290
00:11:40,298 --> 00:11:41,615
You're sneaking to work
291
00:11:41,616 --> 00:11:43,617
on a Saturday.
292
00:11:43,618 --> 00:11:45,019
I can't believe you!
293
00:11:45,020 --> 00:11:46,821
Well, I wouldn't have
had to sneak around
294
00:11:46,822 --> 00:11:47,989
if you had the decency
295
00:11:47,990 --> 00:11:49,957
to go to that stupid
peanut vendor's tribute.
296
00:11:49,958 --> 00:11:52,744
And after all the peanuts
you've eaten.
297
00:11:52,745 --> 00:11:55,246
Look, Doug, the only reason
I was doing that
298
00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:56,614
is because you've
been so upset
299
00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:57,715
that I had to work
so much.
300
00:11:57,716 --> 00:11:58,983
I didn't wanna upset you more.
301
00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:00,517
That right?
Yeah, but if my boss says
302
00:12:00,518 --> 00:12:02,002
I have to go to work
on a Saturday,
303
00:12:02,003 --> 00:12:03,137
I have to go.
Okay,
304
00:12:03,138 --> 00:12:04,154
you didn't have
to work.
305
00:12:04,155 --> 00:12:05,690
You wanted to work.
Admit it.
306
00:12:05,691 --> 00:12:08,392
You love your job.
307
00:12:08,393 --> 00:12:11,596
Okay, yes, yes,
I love my job.
308
00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:13,347
I knew it!
309
00:12:13,348 --> 00:12:15,349
I love the people,
I love how I'm treated,
310
00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:16,884
I love
that I'm on the coffee list.
311
00:12:16,885 --> 00:12:19,487
I love everything
about it.
312
00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:21,272
I don't even know you.
313
00:12:21,273 --> 00:12:22,906
Why do I have
to defend myself?
314
00:12:22,907 --> 00:12:24,441
I mean,
I should apologize
315
00:12:24,442 --> 00:12:25,676
for being happy
at work?
316
00:12:25,677 --> 00:12:27,145
Yes, 'cause while
you're at work,
317
00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:28,746
I'm stuck here
with your father,
318
00:12:28,747 --> 00:12:30,464
who by the way is now
demanding a diaphragm
319
00:12:30,465 --> 00:12:33,417
for his nightstand.
320
00:12:33,418 --> 00:12:36,270
Look, I know I've been
neglecting you,
321
00:12:36,271 --> 00:12:37,471
and I feel bad,
322
00:12:37,472 --> 00:12:39,674
but we're talking
about my career here.
323
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:41,892
Career? Ooh.
324
00:12:41,893 --> 00:12:43,560
Somebody's got
a career now.
325
00:12:43,561 --> 00:12:47,464
Oh, Her Majesty the Queen
has a career.
326
00:12:47,465 --> 00:12:50,517
Queens don't have
careers, moron.
327
00:12:50,518 --> 00:12:51,785
And you know what?
328
00:12:51,786 --> 00:12:53,787
It would be nice if you could
stop for one second
329
00:12:53,788 --> 00:12:55,473
and think about me here.
330
00:12:55,474 --> 00:12:56,440
But I guess
that's just not
331
00:12:56,441 --> 00:12:58,175
a Doug Heffernan
thing, is it?
332
00:13:00,178 --> 00:13:01,912
So apparently
my tartar
333
00:13:01,913 --> 00:13:05,015
doesn't need
to be controlled.
334
00:13:09,003 --> 00:13:12,039
For your information,
I was thinking of you.
335
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,125
Oh, really?
How ya figure?
336
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,376
I just didn't want you
to get hurt.
337
00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:16,377
You know what they say:
338
00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:19,247
Goals plus time
equals heartbreak.
339
00:13:19,248 --> 00:13:20,965
How would you know
anything about goals?
340
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:22,149
I do, okay?
Look- You know-
341
00:13:22,150 --> 00:13:23,851
You don't think I could've
had a career?
342
00:13:23,852 --> 00:13:25,686
I decided not to. And you know why? Why?
343
00:13:25,687 --> 00:13:27,488
Because I thought
it was more important
344
00:13:27,489 --> 00:13:28,789
to work on this.
345
00:13:30,259 --> 00:13:32,442
Getting fatter?
346
00:13:33,144 --> 00:13:35,662
No, our relationship.
347
00:13:35,663 --> 00:13:39,233
Well, you've clearly done
a bang-up job on that.
348
00:13:39,234 --> 00:13:40,568
Oh, okay, you know what?
That's it.
349
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:42,737
All bets are off.
What is that supposed to mean?
350
00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:43,938
I'll tell you
what it means.
351
00:13:43,939 --> 00:13:45,106
I'll stop
working on this
352
00:13:45,107 --> 00:13:46,473
and start working
on my career.
353
00:13:46,474 --> 00:13:48,192
That's right, my career.
354
00:13:48,193 --> 00:13:50,494
Getting that big promotion,
moving up,
355
00:13:50,495 --> 00:13:51,362
making the big bucks.
356
00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:53,164
How would you like that, huh?
357
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,348
I would love that.
358
00:13:55,650 --> 00:13:58,336
Oh, it's on, baby.
359
00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:00,454
It's on!
360
00:14:07,529 --> 00:14:09,897
Sir, you-? You got a moment?
Yeah, I know, Heffernan.
361
00:14:09,898 --> 00:14:13,034
The machine's out of Milk Duds.
A guy's coming tomorrow.
362
00:14:13,035 --> 00:14:15,803
It's not, uh...
It's actually not about that.
363
00:14:15,804 --> 00:14:18,139
It's not?
What is it, then?
364
00:14:22,311 --> 00:14:24,027
Where is
Doug Heffernan...
365
00:14:25,964 --> 00:14:28,449
going?
366
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,284
You're going to, uh...
367
00:14:30,285 --> 00:14:32,236
Brooklyn.
368
00:14:32,237 --> 00:14:33,671
No, I meant
in my career.
369
00:14:33,672 --> 00:14:35,906
You know, I've been here
like 10 years,
370
00:14:35,907 --> 00:14:38,709
and I just I think
I deserve the chance to-
371
00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:40,494
To move up.
372
00:14:40,495 --> 00:14:41,628
Heffernan,
last week I asked
373
00:14:41,629 --> 00:14:44,631
if anybody wanted to apply
for assistant supervisor,
374
00:14:44,632 --> 00:14:47,334
I believe that
your response was, uh...
375
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,505
You gotta- You gotta
relax your lower lip.
376
00:14:51,506 --> 00:14:52,506
It's, uh...
377
00:14:54,575 --> 00:14:57,645
Doug, just- Just go get
on your route, huh?
378
00:14:57,646 --> 00:14:59,046
Look, sir, I'm gonna
level with you.
379
00:14:59,047 --> 00:15:02,316
I'm gonna need you to give me
some kind of promotion here.
380
00:15:02,317 --> 00:15:03,484
Why?
381
00:15:04,585 --> 00:15:06,086
I had a big fight
with my wife
382
00:15:06,087 --> 00:15:07,421
about her moving up
in her job
383
00:15:07,422 --> 00:15:09,106
and I told her
that I could too.
384
00:15:09,107 --> 00:15:13,244
Oh, you really painted yourself
into a corner on that one.
385
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:14,295
It doesn't even have
to be big.
386
00:15:14,296 --> 00:15:15,696
Just something
I could take home
387
00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:19,417
and, you know,
use to make her feel like crap.
388
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:22,036
Let me see.
389
00:15:22,037 --> 00:15:24,004
Oh, well, you know,
390
00:15:24,005 --> 00:15:26,257
the union says
391
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:27,491
gotta get somebody
to organize
392
00:15:27,492 --> 00:15:28,892
the CPR and a safety program.
393
00:15:28,893 --> 00:15:31,429
See, that would be great.
394
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,714
Can it have a title?
395
00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:35,916
Uh, uh, uh,
how about safety monitor?
396
00:15:37,052 --> 00:15:39,804
How about safety chief?
397
00:15:39,805 --> 00:15:41,255
How about you get
your ass in your truck,
398
00:15:41,256 --> 00:15:42,456
'cause I'm sick
of your face?
399
00:15:45,009 --> 00:15:47,460
Safety chief.
400
00:15:51,316 --> 00:15:53,284
Okay, tilt head back
401
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:56,320
and begin
chest compressions.
402
00:15:58,323 --> 00:16:01,525
Damn it, Alvarez,
don't you die on me.
403
00:16:03,995 --> 00:16:08,265
Oh, sure, there's no sex doll
for me, is there?
404
00:16:08,266 --> 00:16:09,900
Okay, Arthur,
it's a CPR dummy.
405
00:16:09,901 --> 00:16:11,252
You don't fool me.
406
00:16:11,253 --> 00:16:12,386
Look at that lifelike skin,
407
00:16:12,387 --> 00:16:14,922
those full, pouting lips.
408
00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:18,292
Look, uh,
Carrie's not home yet,
409
00:16:18,293 --> 00:16:20,144
so I sent out for Chinese.
410
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:20,895
Don't need it.
411
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:21,896
I'll be enjoying
412
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:24,932
a delicious Kobe steak,
413
00:16:24,933 --> 00:16:27,768
one that you're not
getting a bite of.
414
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:29,603
Okay, you know what?
That's not Kobe steak.
415
00:16:29,604 --> 00:16:32,839
Read the label,
you illiterate baboon.
416
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:36,426
One hundred percent Kobe beef.
417
00:16:36,427 --> 00:16:38,796
Okay, you wrote that
with a ballpoint pen.
418
00:16:40,231 --> 00:16:42,033
And you misspelled "beef. "
419
00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:43,350
You're still not
getting any.
420
00:16:48,723 --> 00:16:51,158
Hey, did I come home
a little early?
421
00:16:51,159 --> 00:16:52,476
No, I was just
getting up to speed
422
00:16:52,477 --> 00:16:54,295
on my new I.P.S.
position,
423
00:16:54,296 --> 00:16:55,495
safety chief.
424
00:16:55,496 --> 00:16:58,766
That's right,
safety chief.
425
00:16:58,767 --> 00:16:59,934
Really?
Yep.
426
00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:01,218
I'm in charge
of everything safety
427
00:17:01,219 --> 00:17:02,219
and first-aid related.
428
00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:05,056
All urine testing
goes through me.
429
00:17:05,057 --> 00:17:06,891
All? Wow.
430
00:17:06,892 --> 00:17:08,074
"Wow" is right.
431
00:17:08,075 --> 00:17:09,876
I've been trying to get
ahead for like a day
432
00:17:09,877 --> 00:17:10,977
and already I got this.
433
00:17:10,978 --> 00:17:13,547
I'm gonna leave you
in the dust.
434
00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:16,616
Look, Doug, I know
you only did this
435
00:17:16,617 --> 00:17:18,285
out of spite toward me.
436
00:17:18,286 --> 00:17:19,920
But whatever the reason,
I'm really happy
437
00:17:19,921 --> 00:17:21,422
you're trying
to better yourself.
438
00:17:21,423 --> 00:17:22,907
I just hope you keep it up.
439
00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:29,763
Kids, I was cutting
the gristle from my Kobe steak,
440
00:17:29,764 --> 00:17:32,299
and I seem to have
cut my thumb quite badly.
441
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:33,501
Oh, Dad, let me take a look-
442
00:17:33,502 --> 00:17:35,886
Whoa, whoa, I will handle it.
I'm safety chief.
443
00:17:35,887 --> 00:17:37,104
Come on, Arthur.
Come on, Doug-
444
00:17:37,105 --> 00:17:38,922
Fine.
445
00:17:40,325 --> 00:17:42,927
Okay, work this right out
right now.
446
00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:44,295
Let me see here.
447
00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:47,197
"Burns, choking,
lacerations. "
448
00:17:47,198 --> 00:17:49,350
Where's cuts?
449
00:17:49,351 --> 00:17:51,685
"Lacerations" is cuts.
Hey.
450
00:17:51,686 --> 00:17:54,021
Handling it.
451
00:17:54,022 --> 00:17:56,190
Got it.
452
00:17:57,859 --> 00:17:59,976
Okay, here we go.
453
00:18:03,331 --> 00:18:05,983
What are you planning
on doing, Douglas?
454
00:18:07,769 --> 00:18:09,503
Okay, uh, let's see here.
455
00:18:09,504 --> 00:18:13,507
It says to apply bandage
as shown.
456
00:18:13,508 --> 00:18:14,775
Okay.
You have to disinfect it
457
00:18:14,776 --> 00:18:16,594
before you put the bandage on.
Hey.
458
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:18,879
Don't you have
a team to lead somewhere?
459
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,881
Ow, you're making it bigger!
460
00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:22,249
Would you-?
Relax, okay?
461
00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:23,350
I'm just gonna get my tape.
462
00:18:23,351 --> 00:18:25,603
Just hold that right there,
would you?
463
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:26,620
If I don't make it,
464
00:18:26,621 --> 00:18:28,655
the box under my bed
belongs to a friend.
465
00:18:28,656 --> 00:18:29,656
I swear.
466
00:18:30,925 --> 00:18:32,293
All right,
enough of this.
467
00:18:32,294 --> 00:18:33,694
No, I got it.
Okay.
468
00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:36,730
I will handle it.
Ah, crap.
469
00:18:38,166 --> 00:18:39,466
That's the wrong
stuff, okay?
470
00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:40,668
It's the right stuff.
471
00:18:40,669 --> 00:18:42,670
Okay, if it's the right stuff
give me some then,
472
00:18:42,671 --> 00:18:44,488
'cause I need
a little over here.
473
00:18:48,343 --> 00:18:50,010
Hey.
474
00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:54,414
Look, I'm sorry
I stepped in down there,
475
00:18:54,415 --> 00:18:55,916
but it's just-
I didn't want my dad
476
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:59,920
to, you know,
bleed to death.
477
00:18:59,921 --> 00:19:03,557
But that doesn't mean
you're not still safety chief.
478
00:19:03,558 --> 00:19:05,342
I'm no safety chief.
479
00:19:05,343 --> 00:19:06,993
They wouldn't
have given you that badge
480
00:19:06,994 --> 00:19:08,596
if you weren't up
to the job.
481
00:19:08,597 --> 00:19:10,080
They didn't give it
to me, all right?
482
00:19:10,081 --> 00:19:12,983
I had it made
at a Kinko's.
483
00:19:12,984 --> 00:19:14,201
All right,
what can I do
484
00:19:14,202 --> 00:19:16,403
to get things back
to the way they were?
485
00:19:16,404 --> 00:19:18,772
Hate your job.
486
00:19:18,773 --> 00:19:21,392
Honey, I want to,
but I just don't.
487
00:19:21,393 --> 00:19:23,694
Why does this
bother you so much?
488
00:19:23,695 --> 00:19:25,996
It's just we've always been
people who work
489
00:19:25,997 --> 00:19:27,414
'cause we had to work.
490
00:19:27,415 --> 00:19:29,400
You know, we gave
40 hours a week to the Man
491
00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:32,536
so we could spend the other 40
hours here, home, together.
492
00:19:33,938 --> 00:19:36,373
Doug, a week
has more than-
493
00:19:37,108 --> 00:19:38,342
Never mind.
494
00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,227
Doug, just because
I love my job
495
00:19:40,228 --> 00:19:43,047
doesn't mean I don't love
my time here with you.
496
00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:44,581
Yeah, but...
497
00:19:44,582 --> 00:19:46,850
when you come home
from a job you hate,
498
00:19:46,851 --> 00:19:48,468
being with me is like
a step up, you know?
499
00:19:48,469 --> 00:19:50,721
Now when you come home you're
like, "Hey, I'm home.
500
00:19:50,722 --> 00:19:52,773
Oh, that's right.
This place sucks. "
501
00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:54,457
Come on, that's crazy.
Whatever.
502
00:19:54,458 --> 00:19:55,809
It's not your problem,
you know.
503
00:19:55,810 --> 00:19:57,478
I'll have to get used
to you coming home
504
00:19:57,479 --> 00:20:01,398
all happy and fulfilled
and on the coffee list.
505
00:20:01,399 --> 00:20:03,466
Doug,
you're overreacting.
506
00:20:03,467 --> 00:20:05,903
I'll always love
coming home to you.
507
00:20:05,904 --> 00:20:08,105
And besides, being
on the coffee list is no treat.
508
00:20:08,106 --> 00:20:10,173
They go to this really fancy
Italian restaurant
509
00:20:10,174 --> 00:20:11,825
where the coffee's
really bitter.
510
00:20:11,826 --> 00:20:14,712
Really?
I mean, the coffee's bad?
511
00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:16,046
Yeah, really bad.
512
00:20:16,047 --> 00:20:17,164
Wow.
513
00:20:17,165 --> 00:20:18,932
I mean, coffee's
the first thing you have
514
00:20:18,933 --> 00:20:20,567
in the morning,
so if that's bad,
515
00:20:20,568 --> 00:20:23,670
that gets your day
off to a crappy start, huh?
516
00:20:24,238 --> 00:20:25,889
Yes, yes,
517
00:20:25,890 --> 00:20:28,425
a really crappy start.
518
00:20:28,426 --> 00:20:31,061
That is too bad.
Yeah, it's the worst.
519
00:20:31,062 --> 00:20:32,312
What else you got?
520
00:20:32,313 --> 00:20:33,380
Um...
521
00:20:34,648 --> 00:20:37,650
Oh, one of the drawers
on my desk sticks,
522
00:20:37,651 --> 00:20:38,651
so I gotta yank on it,
523
00:20:38,652 --> 00:20:40,321
and then the whole thing
comes out.
524
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:43,657
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
525
00:20:43,658 --> 00:20:46,560
Oh, and then they hired this
new guy. Really sleazy.
526
00:20:46,561 --> 00:20:49,163
He is always rubbing up against
me in the copy room.
527
00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:51,131
That's awesome.
Yeah.
528
00:20:53,601 --> 00:20:55,169
Listen, you're not
just saying this
529
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:56,670
to make me feel better,
are you?
530
00:20:56,671 --> 00:20:59,606
No, no, I mean, the guy is-
Is a total perv.
531
00:20:59,607 --> 00:21:00,840
His hands
are all over me.
532
00:21:00,841 --> 00:21:04,595
It makes me feel dirty
and cheap and violated.
533
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,813
I love you.
534
00:21:29,687 --> 00:21:32,239
Ahh!
535
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,274
Works every time.
37179
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