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1
00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:06,071
I'm getting married.
2
00:00:06,139 --> 00:00:07,172
To who?
3
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:08,957
Miss Ava St. Clair.
4
00:00:09,025 --> 00:00:11,276
Oh, my gosh. Carrie, you remember
that apartment in the city
5
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:12,844
we signed up for years ago?
Uh-huh
6
00:00:12,912 --> 00:00:14,095
it's available now.
7
00:00:14,163 --> 00:00:15,214
I don't wanna move to the city.
8
00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:16,215
What are you talkin' about?
9
00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:17,783
You said you were ok with this,
10
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,318
that my dream was your dream.
11
00:00:19,385 --> 00:00:21,137
What are you doin'? What,
are you-you leavin' me?
12
00:00:21,204 --> 00:00:22,437
No, Doug.
13
00:00:22,505 --> 00:00:24,657
I'm going to our
apartment in the city,
14
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,392
and I hope you join me.
15
00:00:26,459 --> 00:00:28,010
Hi. Thanks for
painting the bedroom,
16
00:00:28,077 --> 00:00:30,796
and that mural in the
bathroom is amazing.
17
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,080
You-you like it?
18
00:00:32,148 --> 00:00:35,484
I love it. You made
me look really busty.
19
00:00:35,552 --> 00:00:36,835
I may be moving out.
20
00:00:36,903 --> 00:00:39,137
Don't be sorry. Roommates
are a dime a dozen. Heh.
21
00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,323
And so, let me just
get this straight.
22
00:00:41,391 --> 00:00:43,425
You're gonna get rid
of the apartment,
23
00:00:43,493 --> 00:00:45,911
I'm gonna get a new job,
24
00:00:45,978 --> 00:00:47,680
and we're both gonna get a baby.
25
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,881
That's the deal
that's on the table.
26
00:00:49,949 --> 00:00:51,117
I'm in.
27
00:00:51,184 --> 00:00:52,484
Me, too.
28
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:53,702
Dinelli office furnishings.
29
00:00:53,769 --> 00:00:56,171
First in lumbar. Doug
Heffernan speaking.
30
00:00:56,239 --> 00:01:00,742
Have you checked your
apartment in Manhattan?
31
00:01:47,434 --> 00:01:49,891
Bill! Man, I don't know
what you want from me, man.
32
00:01:49,959 --> 00:01:51,727
I can't help you out here.
33
00:01:51,794 --> 00:01:53,065
Look, you know what?
Carrie just walked in.
34
00:01:53,090 --> 00:01:55,464
I will ask her. Jeez.
35
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,015
Carrie, it's my friend Bill.
36
00:01:57,083 --> 00:01:58,350
He's-he's movin' into Manhattan.
37
00:01:58,417 --> 00:01:59,685
Bill who? Hmm?
38
00:01:59,752 --> 00:02:00,953
Bill who?
39
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:04,623
Uh, Bill Krispies.
40
00:02:09,112 --> 00:02:10,759
You got rid of that
apartment, like, 3 weeks ago.
41
00:02:10,784 --> 00:02:12,122
There's definitely somebody
in there by now, right?
42
00:02:13,018 --> 00:02:15,524
Uh...yeah. There's probably
somebody in there.
43
00:02:15,621 --> 00:02:17,859
I told him that. Yeah, Bill no go.
44
00:02:19,989 --> 00:02:23,709
Ok, listen, do not be late
for my father's wedding, ok?
45
00:02:23,776 --> 00:02:25,728
I need you and Deacon
on the road by noon.
46
00:02:25,795 --> 00:02:29,014
I have to go there now 'cause I got
a lot to do, ok? I love you. Bye.
47
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,519
A brand-new exercise bike.
48
00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:36,155
I'll bid, uh, 750.
49
00:02:36,223 --> 00:02:37,922
Doug.
50
00:02:37,990 --> 00:02:39,308
It's open!
51
00:02:39,375 --> 00:02:41,193
It's locked.
52
00:02:41,260 --> 00:02:42,744
Sorry.
53
00:02:42,812 --> 00:02:44,179
It's locked!
54
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,699
Just open the damn
door, will you?
55
00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:48,200
Oh, gosh, all right.
56
00:02:48,267 --> 00:02:50,369
I'm comin', you Princess.
57
00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:54,022
There you go.
58
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:55,741
I've been honking out there-
59
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,075
where are your pants?
60
00:02:57,143 --> 00:02:59,077
Oh, wouldn't you love to know?
61
00:02:59,145 --> 00:03:01,196
Why are you sittin'
around here, drinkin'?
62
00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,114
We gotta get to
the wedding, man.
63
00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:04,282
Mm-mmm. I ain't goin'.
64
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,684
Hey, come on, man!
65
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:08,920
The rice-a-roni is much
cheaper than the turtle wax!
66
00:03:08,988 --> 00:03:10,589
What the hell is goin' on here?
67
00:03:10,656 --> 00:03:12,825
Oh, well, let's see.
I'm divorcin' Carrie,
68
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:14,960
and ensign Curtis here
just cost himself
69
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,045
a trip to the showcase showdown.
70
00:03:18,414 --> 00:03:21,216
Get a divorce? I thought
you guys were good now.
71
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:23,051
Yeah, well, turns out
she secretly kept
72
00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:24,453
her little apartment
in the city.
73
00:03:24,521 --> 00:03:26,121
"Oh, Doug, I love ya.
74
00:03:26,189 --> 00:03:29,090
Let's adopt Chinese
babies together."
75
00:03:29,158 --> 00:03:31,343
It was all a pack of lies...
76
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,511
Or a-a web of lies.
77
00:03:33,579 --> 00:03:36,782
Aw, some groupin' of lies.
78
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:40,235
So she kept the place, huh.
Did she say why?
79
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,887
She doesn't even know I know,
man, but it's obvious.
80
00:03:42,955 --> 00:03:46,074
It's her ticket out
of f-fattytown.
81
00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,325
But you know what?
82
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:48,610
I'm beatin' her to the punch.
83
00:03:48,678 --> 00:03:51,513
You know what? All I know
is I'm supposed to get you,
84
00:03:51,581 --> 00:03:54,533
a cake, and a rabbi to poughkeepsie
by 4:00, so put your pants on.
85
00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:56,284
No. I ain't goin', buddy.
86
00:03:56,352 --> 00:03:57,236
You're doin' it.
Man, don't make me
87
00:03:57,303 --> 00:03:58,870
carry you out of here
in your drawers, man.
88
00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:01,690
Don't make me carry you out
of here in my drawers.
89
00:04:01,758 --> 00:04:03,074
All right, you know what?
Just come on.
90
00:04:03,142 --> 00:04:04,026
Let's go. No way.
91
00:04:04,093 --> 00:04:05,310
It's not happenin', man.
92
00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:07,879
Stop it!
93
00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:09,581
All right.
94
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:11,150
Fine.
95
00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:12,517
Not goin' anywhere.
96
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,186
You're goin'. No, I'm not.
97
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,907
Oh, God. Unh! I-I think I-
98
00:04:18,974 --> 00:04:20,875
I think I accidentally
touched something.
99
00:04:20,943 --> 00:04:23,678
Accidentally or been
plannin' for years?
100
00:04:23,746 --> 00:04:26,164
Look, just put your pants on
101
00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:27,900
and get in the car.
102
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:30,269
Fine! You know what? I
will get in the car.
103
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:33,572
You Mark my words. You will never
see pants on this body again.
104
00:04:36,592 --> 00:04:39,327
Now, dad, we have a lot
of family coming today
105
00:04:39,395 --> 00:04:41,412
that you haven't
seen in a while,
106
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,115
so I want you to remember
no slapping anybody.
107
00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:45,800
But bernice is coming.
108
00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:48,119
Ok, dad, last time, she
knocked you out, ok?
109
00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:51,022
Leave it alone. Leave it alone.
110
00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:53,641
I'm gonna go see if Ava
needs anything, ok?
111
00:04:53,709 --> 00:04:54,842
All right. All right.
112
00:05:00,015 --> 00:05:02,417
Oh, are you ok, mom?
113
00:05:02,485 --> 00:05:05,287
I know this has gotta be rough
seeing Arthur get married.
114
00:05:05,355 --> 00:05:07,339
I'm very happy for him.
115
00:05:07,406 --> 00:05:09,141
Why would you say that?
116
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:12,811
Well, you've been sobbing
and retching a lot lately.
117
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:15,496
No more than usual.
118
00:05:15,564 --> 00:05:16,831
Greetings.
119
00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:17,699
Oh, hey, Arthur.
120
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:20,118
Um, here are those place
cards you wanted.
121
00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:23,055
Uh, the venetian-style calligraphy
you wanted was really intricate.
122
00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:24,622
I was up all night.
123
00:05:24,690 --> 00:05:25,441
Thank you.
124
00:05:25,508 --> 00:05:28,493
I hope this isn't
in lieu of a gift.
125
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:35,834
Congratulations on
your nuptials, Arthur.
126
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:38,186
Thank you, Veronica.
127
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:39,587
Ava St. Clair.
128
00:05:39,655 --> 00:05:41,022
Pish-posh.
129
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:43,208
That she is.
130
00:05:43,275 --> 00:05:47,179
I guess I always knew you'd
wind up with someone like that.
131
00:05:47,246 --> 00:05:48,881
You deserve it.
132
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:52,250
You're a good loser, Veronica,
133
00:05:52,318 --> 00:05:55,220
the best loser I've ever known.
134
00:05:55,287 --> 00:05:57,088
Thank you, Arthur.
135
00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:01,392
Yo! Yo, rabbi!
136
00:06:01,460 --> 00:06:02,861
Over here.
137
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:06,798
I hope you don't mind
sittin' in the back.
138
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,533
I, uh, got the cake up here.
139
00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,185
Ah, no, no. It's-it's fine.
140
00:06:10,253 --> 00:06:11,420
It's just, um...
141
00:06:11,488 --> 00:06:15,056
Do you know there's a man
with no pants back here?
142
00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,159
Oh, yeah. That's-
that's the best man.
143
00:06:17,226 --> 00:06:18,960
He's sleepin' off a
couple six-packs.
144
00:06:19,028 --> 00:06:22,564
Do me a favor and, uh,
give him a smack, will ya?
145
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:23,798
Oh, ok.
146
00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:30,255
Y- you gotta really drill him.
147
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:33,591
I'm not comfortable
drilling anyone on shabbos.
148
00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:34,692
All right.
149
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,461
I'll take care of it.
150
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:38,697
Hang on.
151
00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:42,868
Aw, Deac, gotta tell ya, gettin'
a little tired of that move.
152
00:06:47,673 --> 00:06:49,307
There it is.
153
00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:50,876
Ok. Ok.
154
00:06:50,943 --> 00:06:52,677
Oh, you look beautiful.
155
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:53,879
Really?
156
00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:56,531
I'm so nervous.
157
00:06:56,598 --> 00:06:57,482
Oh, you're gonna be fine.
158
00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,751
At my last wedding, I passed out
159
00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:01,453
right into a chopped-liver swan.
160
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:06,241
But Gerald was so understanding.
161
00:07:06,308 --> 00:07:09,344
Oh, God rest his soul.
162
00:07:09,412 --> 00:07:11,446
That was your last husband?
163
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,248
Yeah. Well...
164
00:07:13,315 --> 00:07:15,250
After the first jerk I married,
165
00:07:15,317 --> 00:07:18,687
I decided from now
on, only gay men.
166
00:07:18,755 --> 00:07:21,389
15-minute warning.
167
00:07:21,457 --> 00:07:22,424
Oh.
168
00:07:22,491 --> 00:07:24,626
Ava, darling, that
dress is delicious.
169
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:27,395
You're a vision in chiffon.
170
00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:30,265
I can't wait to rip
it off tonight
171
00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:33,135
and finally have
my way with you.
172
00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:45,163
Could I-could I help at all?
Or are you...
173
00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:48,466
Yeah, you know what? Just, uh,
let me bridge off your shoulder.
174
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:50,419
I'm gonna have to fire my
hips off - there we go.
175
00:07:50,486 --> 00:07:51,803
Aah! I'm gettin' under it.
176
00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:52,403
What's goin' on back there?
177
00:07:52,471 --> 00:07:53,955
You don't have
your pants on yet?
178
00:07:54,023 --> 00:07:57,759
The rabbi and I are
working on it, thank you.
179
00:07:57,827 --> 00:07:59,511
It's been 2 hours.
180
00:07:59,578 --> 00:08:00,395
There's no room back here.
181
00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:01,713
Why the hell didn't
you take the minivan?
182
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:03,298
Aw, Kelly's got it.
She doesn't like
183
00:08:03,366 --> 00:08:04,932
driving this car.
It's too small.
184
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,985
Oh, great. So she gives it
to her 8-foot-tall husband.
185
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:09,487
Yeah, I can't believe you aren't
the one getting divorced.
186
00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:11,139
Hey, hey. Stop talkin'
about divorce, will you?
187
00:08:11,207 --> 00:08:12,673
You guys are gonna be fine.
188
00:08:12,741 --> 00:08:14,242
You always work
these things out.
189
00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:15,343
She screams. You cry.
190
00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:17,245
2 pizzas later, you're
back to normal.
191
00:08:17,313 --> 00:08:19,031
But this is different, Deac, ok?
192
00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:21,433
We had a commitment
about our future, and-
193
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,836
and she just didn't
hold up her end.
194
00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:26,304
That's not right, is it?
195
00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:28,506
Well, I certainly understand
why you're upset,
196
00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:31,609
but I also know that God
believes in forgiveness.
197
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:32,444
Yeah, I'm-
198
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:35,831
is that just your
God or any God?
199
00:08:35,898 --> 00:08:39,167
Do you think you and I
have different gods?
200
00:08:39,234 --> 00:08:41,303
No. No, no, no, no, no.
201
00:08:41,371 --> 00:08:45,106
Oh. I mean, yeah. Only 'cause...
202
00:08:45,174 --> 00:08:46,708
My God is...
203
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,543
Jesus.
204
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,479
But, uh-but from
what I understand,
205
00:08:50,546 --> 00:08:52,497
my God is the son of your God,
206
00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:54,566
so I'm sure they're
on very good terms.
207
00:08:54,633 --> 00:08:56,668
They probably see each
other all the time,
208
00:08:56,735 --> 00:08:58,236
you know, holidays,
family functions.
209
00:08:58,304 --> 00:08:59,887
What the hell was that for?!
210
00:08:59,955 --> 00:09:02,357
To shut you up.
211
00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:05,277
Don't give me your back talk!
212
00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:09,231
There are plenty of harpists out
there who will play dueling banjos!
213
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:10,866
You sent for me, darlin'?
214
00:09:10,933 --> 00:09:13,101
Yes. Dad, I, um...
215
00:09:13,169 --> 00:09:13,902
Where's Ava?
216
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:15,787
Well, that's actually
what I wanna...
217
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:18,756
Ava left, dad.
218
00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:19,891
What?
219
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:21,176
Yeah, she was very upset.
220
00:09:21,243 --> 00:09:23,645
She's-she's very sorry,
but she can't marry you.
221
00:09:23,713 --> 00:09:25,430
Wh-why?
222
00:09:25,497 --> 00:09:26,899
Well, uh...
223
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:28,867
Turns out Ava...
224
00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:31,801
Like, uh, many women
in show business,
225
00:09:31,826 --> 00:09:34,990
wanted a different
kind of husband,
226
00:09:35,057 --> 00:09:37,859
more of a companion.
227
00:09:37,926 --> 00:09:40,678
I was a wonderful companion.
228
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:43,064
Yeah. Yeah.
229
00:09:43,132 --> 00:09:44,566
Uh...
230
00:09:44,634 --> 00:09:48,270
But she wanted a companion
who was also...
231
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:49,771
A choreographer...
232
00:09:51,607 --> 00:09:53,291
Type.
233
00:09:54,252 --> 00:09:56,854
A hairdresser type.
234
00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:00,681
You don't see where
I'm goin' with this?
235
00:10:00,749 --> 00:10:01,897
She wanted a black man?
236
00:10:01,918 --> 00:10:04,387
Gay, dad. She wanted a gay man.
237
00:10:04,454 --> 00:10:06,154
She thought you were gay.
238
00:10:06,222 --> 00:10:07,206
That's preposterous.
239
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,592
That's not what
she wants at all.
240
00:10:10,799 --> 00:10:12,016
Dad, look.
241
00:10:12,381 --> 00:10:13,512
This is a picture of
Gerald, her last husband.
242
00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:15,510
What do you see when
you look at that?
243
00:10:15,596 --> 00:10:17,645
I see a normal heterosexual man
244
00:10:17,670 --> 00:10:19,737
leaping into the air
with a parasol.
245
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,322
How did I not
notice that before?
246
00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:26,658
I'm sorry, daddy.
247
00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:28,077
But I still don't understand.
248
00:10:28,144 --> 00:10:32,781
What did I ever do to give her
the impression that I was gay?
249
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,138
Hey.
250
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:48,330
In retrospect, that was an unfortunate
choice of Halloween costume.
251
00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:56,371
Dad, look, I know this is hard,
252
00:10:56,439 --> 00:10:59,424
but we have a hundred guests out there
waiting for the ceremony to start.
253
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,393
You have to go out
there and tell 'em.
254
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:03,962
But I had my heart set
on being married today.
255
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:05,697
Not just my heart.
256
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:08,500
I took enough Cialis
for a hockey team.
257
00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:13,105
The bottom line is, dad,
Ava's not coming back.
258
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:15,040
But I could be gay for her.
259
00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:19,210
I could be the gayest man
the world has ever seen!
260
00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:20,195
I know you could.
261
00:11:21,897 --> 00:11:23,832
But-but it's over, dad.
262
00:11:44,020 --> 00:11:45,387
Arthur, what's this all about?
263
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:46,989
Why are we in here?
264
00:11:47,056 --> 00:11:49,190
I need to speak
to you privately.
265
00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:53,028
What are you, a surgeon?
Beat it!
266
00:11:57,901 --> 00:12:00,118
So what is it?
267
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:01,537
Veronica, something
marvelous has happened.
268
00:12:01,604 --> 00:12:06,141
I suddenly realized it's not Ava
I wanna marry today. It's you.
269
00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:09,228
What? You wanna marry me?
270
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,079
Yes. I'm proposing to you.
271
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,748
I would have done it
years ago, but...
272
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:16,418
I found your beauty
intimidating.
273
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,020
She dumped you, huh?
274
00:12:18,088 --> 00:12:20,189
Yeah.
275
00:12:20,257 --> 00:12:22,023
Apparently I'm not
man enough for her.
276
00:12:22,091 --> 00:12:25,644
Or I'm too much man.
It's all very confusing.
277
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:28,797
So now you're tryin' to jam
me in as your second choice?
278
00:12:28,864 --> 00:12:30,765
Well, let me tell you
something, Arthur.
279
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:34,336
I may not be the queen of
england or even Ava St. Clair,
280
00:12:34,404 --> 00:12:38,073
but I deserve more than being
proposed to in front of a urinal.
281
00:12:38,140 --> 00:12:41,393
Look, look, look, I admit I've never
shown you the respect you deserve.
282
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,862
I was petty and vain and
thought I could do better,
283
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,514
but I realize now that I can't.
284
00:12:47,650 --> 00:12:49,568
Pride goeth before a fall.
285
00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:52,054
Please, Veronica. I don't
wanna die in that basement.
286
00:12:52,121 --> 00:12:55,356
I'd much rather die in a
ground-floor apartment such as yours
287
00:12:55,424 --> 00:12:57,192
with you by my side.
288
00:12:57,259 --> 00:13:00,345
That does sound nice.
289
00:13:00,412 --> 00:13:03,031
I know we could learn
to love each other.
290
00:13:03,099 --> 00:13:05,868
I already love you, Arthur.
291
00:13:05,936 --> 00:13:07,903
Well, then, we're halfway there.
292
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,811
Um, good afternoon.
293
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:19,614
Everybody, ahem, I'm
rabbi Eli feldman.
294
00:13:19,682 --> 00:13:22,517
Today in the presence of God,
295
00:13:22,586 --> 00:13:26,555
we will be joining together
Arthur Spooner and Ava St. Clair,
296
00:13:26,623 --> 00:13:30,158
2 wonderful people who
have found joy, love,
297
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:31,109
and happi-
298
00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:32,527
excuse me a minute.
299
00:13:32,595 --> 00:13:34,863
Happiness in each other's spirits.
Thank you.
300
00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:39,768
"Please turns off all
cellphones and pagers,
301
00:13:39,836 --> 00:13:43,672
"and in your programs, wherever
the name Ava St. Clair appears,
302
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,741
replace it with
Veronica Olchin."
303
00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:54,299
Excuse me. Sorry.
304
00:13:54,366 --> 00:13:55,600
Sorry. Excuse me.
305
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:56,968
Hey. Where were you?
306
00:13:57,036 --> 00:13:59,671
Doug got drunk and
wouldn't put his pants on.
307
00:14:01,707 --> 00:14:02,974
How's it goin' here?
308
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,243
Oh, Arthur switched brides.
309
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:05,977
Now he's marrying Spence's mom.
310
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:07,779
Oh.
311
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,682
Dad! Well, what the
hell is going on?
312
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,016
Meet your new mother.
313
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,103
Keep wednesdays free, darling.
314
00:14:15,171 --> 00:14:17,973
That's when we visit
Nana in the home.
315
00:14:18,041 --> 00:14:20,292
Where's my aunt Ava?
316
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:21,760
Mom, what are you doing?
317
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:23,077
What does it look
like I'm doing?
318
00:14:23,145 --> 00:14:26,014
Now, you just stay there, because
you have to give me away.
319
00:14:26,081 --> 00:14:27,966
I'm not giving you away!
This is crazy!
320
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,267
Yes, this is crazy!
321
00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:31,519
Stop taking your brother's side!
322
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,507
Where's my aunt Ava?
323
00:14:36,575 --> 00:14:37,359
Oh, Doug, there you are.
324
00:14:37,427 --> 00:14:38,710
Do you know what's going on?
325
00:14:38,777 --> 00:14:40,729
Ava left, and now my dad
wants to marry Veronica.
326
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,847
Hmm. That's nice.
327
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,954
He-he wants us to start.
328
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:51,123
Sweetheart, I think
you go down first.
329
00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:53,324
Where's my aunt Ava?
330
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:56,027
She's your aunt Ava.
Now get movin'!
331
00:14:57,329 --> 00:14:59,164
It's all right. It's all right.
332
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,820
Dad, are you sure
you wanna do this?
333
00:15:04,887 --> 00:15:06,955
You really wanna marry Veronica?
334
00:15:07,023 --> 00:15:09,074
Why? You got someone better?
335
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:12,478
Oy. All right, let's just start.
336
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,411
Let's just start.
337
00:15:18,034 --> 00:15:20,302
Piece of work, that man, right?
338
00:15:20,369 --> 00:15:24,306
Yeah. Well, at least he doesn't tell
vicious lies to the people that love him.
339
00:15:24,373 --> 00:15:27,375
What are you talking about?
He does that every day.
340
00:15:27,443 --> 00:15:29,311
What's the matter
with you, anyway?
341
00:15:29,378 --> 00:15:31,747
You know what? I don't think I
feel like discussing it right now.
342
00:15:46,796 --> 00:15:48,897
Thanks for comin'. I'm not gay.
343
00:15:48,965 --> 00:15:50,399
Thanks for comin'. Not gay.
344
00:15:50,466 --> 00:15:52,267
Hello, Zachary. I'm not gay.
345
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:58,173
I can't believe
you're doing this.
346
00:15:58,241 --> 00:16:00,008
I love him, Spencer.
347
00:16:00,076 --> 00:16:02,144
He's treating you
like an old dishrag.
348
00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:04,179
No marriage is perfect.
349
00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:12,054
Ok. Ahem.
350
00:16:12,122 --> 00:16:14,056
Is everyone set to go?
351
00:16:14,124 --> 00:16:15,207
Uh-huh.
352
00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:17,142
Baruch atta adonal-
353
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:18,910
whoa, whoa, whoa. What's that?
354
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:24,266
It's a Hebrew prayer.
355
00:16:24,334 --> 00:16:26,467
Why Hebrew?
356
00:16:26,535 --> 00:16:30,121
Well, the-the original
bride was Jewish,
357
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,456
a- and I'm a rabbi.
358
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,309
Are you Jewish?
359
00:16:34,376 --> 00:16:35,978
Albanian orthodox.
360
00:16:36,045 --> 00:16:38,179
What the hell is that?
361
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,848
It's a very nice religion.
362
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,449
We'll go with your thing.
363
00:16:43,485 --> 00:16:46,571
Baruch atta adonal elohanu...
364
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:48,940
Mazel tov! Mazel tov!
365
00:16:56,199 --> 00:16:59,518
Carrie, your phone was going off
like crazy during the ceremony.
366
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:01,420
You got, like, 4 calls. Really?
367
00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:06,341
Oh, my God. It's the
adoption agency.
368
00:17:06,409 --> 00:17:08,109
Doug-
369
00:17:15,849 --> 00:17:18,584
there you are. What
are you doing?
370
00:17:18,651 --> 00:17:21,370
Just enjoying the
smells of poughkeepsie.
371
00:17:23,690 --> 00:17:25,958
Well, I have some
very exciting news.
372
00:17:26,026 --> 00:17:27,793
You're not gonna believe it.
373
00:17:27,861 --> 00:17:29,478
Look at this picture.
What's that?
374
00:17:29,546 --> 00:17:30,829
Our car.
375
00:17:30,897 --> 00:17:32,615
Oh. I backed into a pole.
376
00:17:32,683 --> 00:17:34,216
That's for the
insurance company.
377
00:17:34,284 --> 00:17:35,918
No, no, no, no, no, no.
378
00:17:35,986 --> 00:17:37,219
Who's that?
379
00:17:37,287 --> 00:17:39,421
I don't know. Somebody's baby.
380
00:17:39,490 --> 00:17:42,024
Yeah. Our baby.
381
00:17:42,092 --> 00:17:43,776
Our baby.
382
00:17:45,612 --> 00:17:46,679
Oh, my God.
383
00:17:46,747 --> 00:17:48,347
Yeah. Her name is ming Mel.
384
00:17:48,414 --> 00:17:50,449
She's 4 days old.
Isn't she beautiful?
385
00:17:50,516 --> 00:17:52,801
All right, I have to
call the adoption agency
386
00:17:52,869 --> 00:17:55,955
and tell them that we're on the
next flight out to Beijing.
387
00:17:56,023 --> 00:17:57,924
I've-I can't believe
I'm making this call.
388
00:17:57,991 --> 00:18:02,194
I mean, I've ordered Chinese before,
but never a baby. Ah ha ha! Ahh!
389
00:18:02,262 --> 00:18:03,729
Carrie, we're not doing this.
390
00:18:04,898 --> 00:18:07,500
What? What are you
talking about?
391
00:18:07,567 --> 00:18:08,750
I know about the apartment,
392
00:18:08,818 --> 00:18:10,703
and I know you never
got rid of it.
393
00:18:10,771 --> 00:18:12,554
Oh, yeah, that. Heh.
394
00:18:12,622 --> 00:18:14,223
Weird, huh?
395
00:18:17,094 --> 00:18:18,460
Uh...
396
00:18:18,528 --> 00:18:21,931
Look, Doug, you have every
right to be upset, ok?
397
00:18:21,999 --> 00:18:25,835
I- I should've gotten rid of
it a couple weeks ago, but I-
398
00:18:25,903 --> 00:18:27,569
but what? I mean...
399
00:18:27,637 --> 00:18:29,722
But I was just nervous about
us getting back together.
400
00:18:29,790 --> 00:18:31,824
So was I, you know,
but we made a deal.
401
00:18:31,892 --> 00:18:34,894
I mean, I quit my job for
you, and I loved that job.
402
00:18:34,961 --> 00:18:37,045
You hated that job. You
said so a thousand times.
403
00:18:37,113 --> 00:18:40,483
No, I said I hated having a job.
There's a difference.
404
00:18:40,551 --> 00:18:42,652
The point is I took
a leap of faith,
405
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,103
for the sake of our
future, and you didn't.
406
00:18:45,171 --> 00:18:47,840
All right. Well, I'm taking
my leap of faith now.
407
00:18:47,907 --> 00:18:49,525
It doesn't count now, Carrie.
I mean,
408
00:18:49,593 --> 00:18:51,427
now you're just
leaping for the baby.
409
00:18:51,495 --> 00:18:53,495
Admit it. You've never
taken a leap of faith
410
00:18:53,647 --> 00:18:55,314
for me in your whole life.
411
00:18:55,382 --> 00:18:57,400
I married you. What
do you call that?
412
00:18:57,467 --> 00:18:58,617
Uh, hitting the jackpot.
413
00:19:01,972 --> 00:19:05,391
Getting married, that's not
taking a leap of faith.
414
00:19:05,459 --> 00:19:10,363
When you get married, you think
it's gonna be great forever.
415
00:19:10,430 --> 00:19:12,465
You know, but then 10
years down the line,
416
00:19:12,533 --> 00:19:17,486
you finally start to realize, "wow,
he's fat, and he's stayin' fat."
417
00:19:17,554 --> 00:19:20,322
"Man, she isn't gettin'
any nicer, is she?"
418
00:19:21,241 --> 00:19:24,427
Smoke clears, and it's
just the two of us
419
00:19:24,494 --> 00:19:28,197
standing there fat,
mean, and naked-
420
00:19:28,265 --> 00:19:32,068
that's when it takes a leap
of faith to keep going,
421
00:19:32,135 --> 00:19:33,969
and you didn't,
422
00:19:34,037 --> 00:19:35,621
and I can never forget that.
423
00:19:36,590 --> 00:19:38,941
Ok, Doug, so what
are you saying?
424
00:19:39,009 --> 00:19:40,810
Are you saying we're over?
425
00:19:40,878 --> 00:19:42,962
I guess I am.
30417
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