All language subtitles for The King of Queens (1998) - S09E09 - Mild Bunch (1080p BluRay x265 RCVR).eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:22,473 --> 00:00:24,056 Baby, that face is really 2 00:00:24,124 --> 00:00:27,259 going to set us back in the bedroom. 3 00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:30,096 Sorry, I'm just, 4 00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:32,464 you know, my high school reunion, I'm pumped. 5 00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:33,332 Yeah, I noticed that 6 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:36,319 when you karate-kicked my makeup mirror. 7 00:00:36,386 --> 00:00:37,419 You know what? That's the way I was 8 00:00:37,487 --> 00:00:38,420 back in high school, too, man. 9 00:00:38,488 --> 00:00:40,189 I hung with a pretty rough crowd. 10 00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:43,025 Don't be surprised if tonight you get a call from the cops. 11 00:00:43,093 --> 00:00:45,611 Oh, why? Is it illegal to wear stonewashed? 12 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,413 All right, sounds like someone's lashing out 13 00:00:48,481 --> 00:00:51,884 'cause they're a little insecure about me going stag. 14 00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:53,803 No, honey, I want you to have a good time, all right. 15 00:00:53,870 --> 00:00:57,206 I just want to rent a movie tonight and relax. 16 00:00:57,274 --> 00:01:01,677 All right, but you're playing with fire, 17 00:01:01,744 --> 00:01:02,912 'cause a lot of these ladies 18 00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:07,016 haven't seen the machinery in a while. 19 00:01:07,083 --> 00:01:07,833 Mm-hmm. 20 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,169 Did you take your lactose pill? 21 00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:11,737 No, not yet. 22 00:01:11,804 --> 00:01:13,405 Ok. I didn't take it. 23 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:52,611 What? 24 00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:54,646 Talk to me about the hair, Woodruff. 25 00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:55,448 Aw, come- 26 00:01:55,599 --> 00:01:56,799 according to cosmo men, 27 00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:59,635 this look is all over Europe right now. 28 00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:01,103 Yeah. 29 00:02:01,171 --> 00:02:03,773 One more reason not to go to Europe. 30 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:04,807 Oh, by the way, Spence, 31 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:05,908 if I hook up with someone tonight, 32 00:02:05,975 --> 00:02:07,076 you're going to have to sleep someplace else, 33 00:02:07,144 --> 00:02:08,277 all right, per our agreement. 34 00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:09,278 W- wait. 35 00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:10,579 What if I hook up with someone 36 00:02:10,647 --> 00:02:12,314 and you have to sleep somewhere else 37 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,916 per our agreement? 38 00:02:13,984 --> 00:02:15,184 'Cause I said it first, I got dibs. 39 00:02:15,252 --> 00:02:16,135 No, you can't call dibs. 40 00:02:16,253 --> 00:02:17,419 I pay half the rent. 41 00:02:17,502 --> 00:02:19,833 -So what? -Guys, guys, guys, guys 42 00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:23,375 Has this whole "bring a woman home" thing 43 00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:25,211 ever actually come up? 44 00:02:25,262 --> 00:02:26,946 Well, yeah. 45 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:30,466 Excuse me, 46 00:02:30,533 --> 00:02:32,201 where is your v.H.S. Section? 47 00:02:32,269 --> 00:02:33,936 Uh, right over there. 48 00:02:34,003 --> 00:02:36,422 That's it? 49 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,724 That's the only tapes you have? 50 00:02:38,791 --> 00:02:42,745 One for every person who still has a v.C.R. 51 00:02:42,812 --> 00:02:45,448 Wait, I know you. 52 00:02:45,515 --> 00:02:47,850 Aren't you the old man that got me fired 53 00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:49,552 from the java hut? 54 00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:52,104 Doesn't ring a bell, but you do look like 55 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,407 a person who might annoy me. 56 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:57,510 You know, it took me 3 months to find a new job. 57 00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:58,844 I had to go on welfare. 58 00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:01,597 Well, you've made quite the comeback, excuse me. 59 00:03:08,204 --> 00:03:09,371 Dad? 60 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,723 Oh, hello, darling. 61 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:13,525 Hey, it's funny running into you here. 62 00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:15,527 Just renting a movie to watch tonight. 63 00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:16,595 Oh, yeah, me too. 64 00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:18,714 Since I don't have 65 00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:21,783 a digital VD player in my room, 66 00:03:21,851 --> 00:03:24,386 the selections are pretty sparse. 67 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,555 Well, hey, I envy you, 68 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,155 I mean, I have way too many choices. 69 00:03:27,223 --> 00:03:28,357 It's always something, right? 70 00:03:28,424 --> 00:03:30,159 Mm-hmm. 71 00:03:32,762 --> 00:03:34,163 All right, well, I'll see you tomorrow. 72 00:03:34,231 --> 00:03:35,164 Mm-hmm. 73 00:03:41,404 --> 00:03:44,173 Hey, um, dad, I was thinking, um, 74 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:45,408 do you want to rent a movie 75 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,543 and watch it together tonight? 76 00:03:47,611 --> 00:03:48,811 I'd love to. 77 00:03:48,879 --> 00:03:52,147 We haven't seen a movie together since you were 8, remember? 78 00:03:52,215 --> 00:03:55,401 Death wish, yeah. 79 00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:58,855 Well, this time my little girl picks any movie she wants. 80 00:03:58,922 --> 00:03:59,972 Ok, good! 81 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,240 Let's see, um, 82 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:02,308 what do we got here? 83 00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:05,210 Oh! How about, uh, in her shoes? 84 00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:06,679 That's supposed to be good. 85 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:07,929 Veto. 86 00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:09,231 Why? 87 00:04:09,299 --> 00:04:11,651 Because in 1987, Shirley MacLaine 88 00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:14,019 cut me off in line at the rite aid. 89 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,921 I will not give that woman a dime, 90 00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,557 not in any of her lives. 91 00:04:26,816 --> 00:04:27,566 Have fun. 92 00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:29,818 We got plenty of drinks. 93 00:04:29,887 --> 00:04:31,954 And food. 94 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,923 And food? Oh, yeah, I get it, I'm still big. 95 00:04:33,991 --> 00:04:35,808 Yeah, ok. 96 00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:39,612 Matthew klein, you sick, sick man! 97 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,931 Doug, great to see you! 98 00:04:41,998 --> 00:04:43,599 God, I figured you'd be in jail by now. 99 00:04:43,666 --> 00:04:44,950 Well, might as well be. 100 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:47,302 Marriage, am I right? 101 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:51,139 So, hey, did you ever end up doing that stuntman thing? 102 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:52,057 Oh, no, no, no. 103 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,709 I'm a stay-at-home dad. 104 00:04:53,777 --> 00:04:55,711 But, you know, with 3 little monsters running around, 105 00:04:55,779 --> 00:04:58,013 that's pretty dangerous, too. 106 00:04:58,932 --> 00:04:59,815 Ok, man, later! 107 00:05:05,021 --> 00:05:06,421 So, uh, 108 00:05:06,489 --> 00:05:08,624 what do you say we duck out of here a little early 109 00:05:08,691 --> 00:05:13,562 and go back to casa de Danny for a little post-reunion union? 110 00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:15,848 No, thanks. 111 00:05:15,915 --> 00:05:16,665 Oh, come on. 112 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:17,683 I remember how you used to stare at me 113 00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,518 all through biology class. 114 00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:23,238 Actually I was staring at your lab partner Jake. 115 00:05:23,306 --> 00:05:25,674 He's my husband now. 116 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:26,992 Ha ha ha! Yeah. 117 00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:30,396 Boy, talk about going a long way to make me jealous. 118 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,481 So, are we going to do this or what? 119 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:38,187 Oh, and I'm totally allergic to any kind of nut. 120 00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:40,322 Oh, me-me too. 121 00:05:40,390 --> 00:05:42,858 I have a picture of Mr. Peanut on my dartboard. 122 00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,293 But I can't do anything with it 123 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,662 because I'm also allergic to dart feathers. 124 00:05:46,729 --> 00:05:48,980 Oh, I can top that. 125 00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:51,933 If I even see a banana, I run screaming. 126 00:05:52,001 --> 00:05:53,736 Man, that's swell. 127 00:05:53,804 --> 00:05:55,020 You know, I-I can't believe 128 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:57,456 we went to the same high school together and never met. 129 00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:00,276 Yeah, not even in the special cafeteria. 130 00:06:01,645 --> 00:06:03,178 Well, I'm, um... 131 00:06:03,246 --> 00:06:06,615 I'm very glad we finally met tonight. 132 00:06:06,683 --> 00:06:08,183 You know what? 133 00:06:08,251 --> 00:06:10,452 I'm going to go talk to my friend for just a second, 134 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:11,787 but I'll be right back. 135 00:06:11,855 --> 00:06:13,655 Mmm, you better be. 136 00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,413 All right, this is lame. Ready to go to ihop? 137 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,681 Uh... 138 00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:26,134 Actually, I think I'm going to be needing the apartment. 139 00:06:26,202 --> 00:06:27,069 What? 140 00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:29,888 Yeah. See that cutie over there by the bar? 141 00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,239 Uh, if things go as planned, 142 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:32,675 she's leaving with me. 143 00:06:32,742 --> 00:06:34,276 Melinda rayburn? 144 00:06:34,344 --> 00:06:35,544 Mm-hmm. 145 00:06:35,612 --> 00:06:39,047 I remember her. She-she came out senior year. 146 00:06:39,115 --> 00:06:42,735 She came out? Of what? 147 00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:44,419 She's gay, Spence. 148 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,138 Are you crazy? 149 00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:49,208 She wore a tuxedo to the prom. 150 00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:50,709 And she went with a girl... 151 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:54,447 Who wore a tuxedo to the prom. 152 00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:55,430 Well, you know what? 153 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,483 Um, looks like old Spence 154 00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,918 is bringing her back to the men's department. 155 00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:02,922 Or maybe she doesn't realize 156 00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:05,624 she's in the men's department. 157 00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:06,959 What are you saying? 158 00:07:07,026 --> 00:07:08,294 Well, think about it, man. 159 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:09,928 It's dark in here, she's had a couple of drinks. 160 00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:11,814 You walk in with your leather 161 00:07:11,882 --> 00:07:15,083 and your little faux-hawk. 162 00:07:15,151 --> 00:07:16,952 Maybe she got the wrong idea, bro. 163 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:19,655 Wait, are you - are you saying she thinks I'm a... 164 00:07:19,723 --> 00:07:21,823 Lesbian? 165 00:07:21,891 --> 00:07:26,228 Well, I'm getting a k.D. Lang kinda thing going on. 166 00:07:26,296 --> 00:07:27,996 You know what? This is- this is ridiculous! 167 00:07:28,064 --> 00:07:29,130 I mean, I'm clearly a man. 168 00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:30,599 This has never been an issue. 169 00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:33,485 All right, well, whatever you say there, spike. Ahem. 170 00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:39,942 If I even see a banana, I run screaming. 171 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,095 That is a beaut. 172 00:07:43,162 --> 00:07:44,312 Oh, yeah. 173 00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,248 I'm already looking for my next one. 174 00:07:46,315 --> 00:07:47,983 Yeah, like my wife says, 175 00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:48,834 if you can't find me at home, 176 00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,819 you can find me at the camera store. 177 00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,971 Home depot. 178 00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:55,524 Oh, yeah! 179 00:07:55,591 --> 00:07:58,227 Yeah, come on, guys. 180 00:07:58,295 --> 00:08:00,396 What do you say we do something crazy tonight, 181 00:08:00,463 --> 00:08:01,397 like old times. 182 00:08:01,464 --> 00:08:02,764 Let's get nutty! 183 00:08:02,832 --> 00:08:03,982 Yeah, like what? 184 00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:04,750 I don't know. 185 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,535 Let's go pick on some nerds. 186 00:08:06,602 --> 00:08:09,604 Hey, that Spence guy is here. 187 00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:13,525 All right! 188 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,995 Jeff "the beast" Sussman! 189 00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,680 Call security, look who's here! 190 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:19,714 Hey, buddy! 191 00:08:19,782 --> 00:08:21,150 Great to see you. What's going on, man? 192 00:08:21,217 --> 00:08:22,417 Oh, thank God you're here, by the way. 193 00:08:22,485 --> 00:08:24,052 It is brutal over there. 194 00:08:24,121 --> 00:08:27,490 Squires, he just tried to get me in a bridge game. 195 00:08:27,557 --> 00:08:28,891 Oh, you're really going to like this one. 196 00:08:28,959 --> 00:08:31,143 Guess who the vice principal is now. 197 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:32,361 Who? 198 00:08:32,396 --> 00:08:33,512 Me. 199 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,998 Yeah, the vice principal is you. 200 00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:39,201 What? 201 00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:40,869 Yeah. 202 00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,037 But you were the guy 203 00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:43,805 who set our vice principal on fire. 204 00:08:43,873 --> 00:08:45,707 I didn't set him on fire. 205 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,242 I set a garbage can on fire. 206 00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:50,312 He caught fire trying to put out that fire. 207 00:08:50,379 --> 00:08:53,766 But you were the craziest kid in school, man. 208 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:56,702 I don't know, I guess I got some help. 209 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:58,570 I grew up. 210 00:08:58,638 --> 00:09:00,288 Excuse me, Mr. Sussman. 211 00:09:00,356 --> 00:09:01,824 Yeah, principal nagel, how are you? 212 00:09:01,891 --> 00:09:03,809 Uh, we seem to be running out of soda. 213 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,577 I want you to run down to the store. 214 00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:07,779 You think maybe we could get one of the catering guys to do it? 215 00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:10,199 I, uh, was just catching up with Doug here. 216 00:09:10,266 --> 00:09:12,467 Hey, sir. How ya doing? 217 00:09:12,535 --> 00:09:14,235 Heffernan. 218 00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:17,673 Looks like the vertical never caught up with the horizontal. 219 00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:23,428 Oh, and get me some of that ginger ale that I like, please. 220 00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,313 Absolutely, sir! 221 00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,508 Don't worry, darling. 222 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,443 That's not a real gorilla. 223 00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:41,580 It's actually a man in a gorilla suit. 224 00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:44,917 Yeah, the zipper in the back kinda gave it away. 225 00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,685 Oh, here comes the best part. 226 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:50,005 The gorilla's going to scare him, and he's going to faint. 227 00:09:50,073 --> 00:09:51,373 There! He just did it. 228 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:53,209 Did you see? 229 00:09:53,276 --> 00:09:55,094 Why didn't you laugh? 230 00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:56,845 Because you're kinda telling me 231 00:09:56,913 --> 00:09:59,081 what's going to happen before it happens, 232 00:09:59,148 --> 00:10:00,782 and then while it happens, 233 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:04,886 and then again after it happens. 234 00:10:04,954 --> 00:10:05,905 W- what are you doing? 235 00:10:06,055 --> 00:10:07,455 I'm going to go back to that video store 236 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,224 and get something you don't hate. 237 00:10:09,291 --> 00:10:09,942 No, dad, you don't have to do that. 238 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,393 I'm enjoying it, I mean it- 239 00:10:11,461 --> 00:10:12,094 no, you just tell me 240 00:10:12,161 --> 00:10:14,446 what my little girl would like to see. 241 00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,231 In her shoes? 242 00:10:16,299 --> 00:10:17,599 I'll find something. 243 00:10:19,969 --> 00:10:21,854 Ginger ale, ginger ale, ginger ale... 244 00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:23,455 Where's the ginger ale? 245 00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,958 Oh, man, we might have to go somewhere else. 246 00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:26,959 Oh, just stop, all right. 247 00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:28,226 Man, look at this, here. 248 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,412 Lemon-lime, it's the same thing. 249 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,030 No, I tried that with him one time. 250 00:10:32,098 --> 00:10:34,966 It was a bad week. 251 00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:38,653 Ugh, freaking nagel, jeez. 252 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:39,788 Hey, remember when he got 253 00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:41,390 that, uh, brand new Chrysler cordoba, 254 00:10:41,458 --> 00:10:43,525 and we egged the crap out of it? 255 00:10:43,593 --> 00:10:46,928 Yeah, that was a good night. 256 00:10:46,996 --> 00:10:49,648 Yeah. 257 00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:50,999 Funny, he actually just sold that thing. 258 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,502 He bought a prius with the bonus he got 259 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,837 for reports I wrote. 260 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,923 Prius, huh? 261 00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,025 What do you say, on the way home, 262 00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:03,612 we go a little yolk-o ono on him? 263 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:04,329 Come on! 264 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,447 No, no! 265 00:11:05,514 --> 00:11:06,331 Definitely, yes! No, no, no. 266 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:07,482 Hey, listen to me. 267 00:11:07,550 --> 00:11:10,251 He called me horizontal, and Jeff Sussman? 268 00:11:10,319 --> 00:11:11,803 He's got you sweating over ginger ale? 269 00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:13,838 Let's take him down a notch! 270 00:11:13,906 --> 00:11:14,957 We're not kids anymore, Doug. 271 00:11:15,024 --> 00:11:16,625 I- I don't know about this. 272 00:11:16,692 --> 00:11:18,526 Yeah, you know what? We're not dead either, ok? 273 00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:20,629 Just one night, and then we'll go back 274 00:11:20,696 --> 00:11:23,132 to our boring, stupid lives. 275 00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:37,863 The expired ones are extra smelly. 276 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,870 I'll take care of Dante, 277 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:47,305 you just try to get some sleep. 278 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:50,142 I - I can't believe you're doing all this for me. 279 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,861 You're a federal witness. It's my job. 280 00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,579 Is it just your job? 281 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:58,284 'Cause I keep thinking it's something... more. 282 00:12:02,839 --> 00:12:06,475 I'll be back in 20 minutes. 283 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,984 Mmm. Mmm. 284 00:12:16,052 --> 00:12:18,370 Maybe we should continue this over at your place? 285 00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:21,073 Works for me. 286 00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:25,261 B - before we go, though, can I just clear up one little thing? 287 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,662 What is it? 288 00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:29,632 Uh, you know what? It's just something 289 00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:31,100 my idiot friend said. 290 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:32,768 Just don't worry about it. 291 00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:33,702 Ok, one second. 292 00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,120 Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. 293 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,992 Oh, you want to freshen yours up? 294 00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:51,554 Hey, how's it going? 295 00:12:51,622 --> 00:12:52,821 All right, catch you later. 296 00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:57,659 Hey, you're Danny Heffernan. 297 00:12:57,727 --> 00:12:58,827 Yeah. 298 00:12:58,895 --> 00:13:01,030 Justin Rayvo. Good to see you, buddy. 299 00:13:01,097 --> 00:13:02,681 Oh, yeah, man. I know who you are. 300 00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:04,199 Captain of the football team, 301 00:13:04,267 --> 00:13:05,267 prom king, 302 00:13:05,335 --> 00:13:06,268 mathlete. 303 00:13:07,437 --> 00:13:09,571 I'm just surprised you remembered me. 304 00:13:09,639 --> 00:13:10,439 Of course I do. 305 00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,858 You were the team's only male cheerleader. 306 00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:15,694 Yeah, till I fell off the top of the pyramid. 307 00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:18,848 Yeah, that was crazy. 308 00:13:18,915 --> 00:13:21,149 So, you wanna get out of here? 309 00:13:25,455 --> 00:13:27,239 Yeah! Whoo! 310 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,390 Clemens bringing the heat. 311 00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:29,825 Oh, yeah! Shiner! 312 00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:30,992 Oh, nice! Yeah! 313 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,244 I can't believe- 314 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,211 this is fun, right? 315 00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:34,280 You talked me into this. 316 00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:36,098 Oh, off the top! 317 00:13:36,166 --> 00:13:38,217 Here we go. 318 00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:39,919 This is fun. This is fun. 319 00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,570 It's fun to do this. 320 00:13:41,638 --> 00:13:43,755 Feels right, you know? 321 00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:47,025 Hey, Sussman. 322 00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:49,261 You can't make any announcements. 323 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,497 That's my job. 324 00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:52,831 Yeah, Sussman, 325 00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:55,183 you can't-you can't use the phone 326 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,936 'cause I use the phone for long-distance calls. 327 00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:01,173 Get me my ginger ale, Sussman! 328 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,374 Get me my ginger ale! 329 00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,443 Get some ginger ale, get some ginger ale, 330 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,245 get some ginger ale! 331 00:14:08,832 --> 00:14:12,017 All right, uh... hey. 332 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,954 Looks like, uh, we're out of eggs. 333 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,324 We better reload then. 334 00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:20,960 We should probably just head back to the reunion. 335 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,128 Back to the store. You drive. 336 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,863 I'll club some mail boxes. 337 00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:25,864 Come on! 338 00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:32,571 This is a really good movie, dad. 339 00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:33,572 You picked a winner. 340 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:34,573 Thank you, darling. 341 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:35,975 This popcorn is delicious. 342 00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,977 You're a magician with that microwave. 343 00:14:39,262 --> 00:14:39,929 Watch, daddy. 344 00:14:39,996 --> 00:14:41,514 I'm going to swim all the way across. 345 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,215 You can do it, sweetie! 346 00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:44,983 I'm doing it! I'm really doing it! 347 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:48,887 This reminds me of when you were a little girl. 348 00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:50,155 Right, dad. 349 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,540 I mean it's like... 350 00:14:51,608 --> 00:14:54,209 When I would take you to the pool. 351 00:14:54,277 --> 00:14:56,928 Not quite. 352 00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:58,530 What are you talking about? 353 00:14:58,598 --> 00:14:59,931 We would go swimming every Saturday 354 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,833 and we'd have a wonderful time. 355 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,786 Uh, no, we wouldn't go swimming. 356 00:15:03,854 --> 00:15:07,055 Uh, I had to wait in the car while you did water aerobics. 357 00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:08,189 That's how I kept in shape. 358 00:15:08,257 --> 00:15:10,892 Besides, someone had to feed the meter. 359 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,845 I understand that. 360 00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:17,016 But would it have killed you just to crack the window a little bit? 361 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,751 Nothing was ever good enough for Princess Carrie. 362 00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:22,020 Princess, ok. 363 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,505 Dad, I don't know many princesses 364 00:15:23,573 --> 00:15:25,373 who had to pack up in the middle of the night 365 00:15:25,442 --> 00:15:27,208 and move every month. 366 00:15:27,276 --> 00:15:29,110 I had bad luck with landlords. 367 00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:30,612 No, not bad luck. 368 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,148 You just didn't pay the rent, so they kicked us out. 369 00:15:33,215 --> 00:15:34,783 Well, I would have been able to pay the rent 370 00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:36,752 if I didn't have an ungrateful child 371 00:15:36,820 --> 00:15:38,420 messing up all my inventions. 372 00:15:38,488 --> 00:15:41,290 Ok, are you talking about the turnip peeler? 373 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,459 Because that wasn't an invention, 374 00:15:43,527 --> 00:15:45,628 it was a potato peeler with a fancy handle. 375 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,262 I mean, I was 8, and I knew that. 376 00:15:47,330 --> 00:15:51,433 That's outrageous. 377 00:15:51,501 --> 00:15:52,650 You know what, dad? 378 00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:54,319 When I saw you at the video store tonight, I was just going 379 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,054 to pretend like I didn't see you and keep walking. 380 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,639 Then I thought, "no he's your dad, it'd be nice" 381 00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,608 to sit and watch a video with him." 382 00:15:59,676 --> 00:16:01,726 Next time, I'm just going to keep walking. 383 00:16:03,625 --> 00:16:06,327 That attitude is why I never took you swimming! 384 00:16:12,088 --> 00:16:16,241 Well, looks like you're sleeping in the car tonight. 385 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,560 So, she knows you're a guy? 386 00:16:18,628 --> 00:16:21,213 Look, every relationship has its little secrets. 387 00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:23,648 I just want to see where this one goes. 388 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:25,917 Yeah, I'll tell you where. Nowhere. 389 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,703 Oh, ok, you know what? You're just jealous 390 00:16:27,771 --> 00:16:29,839 because I hooked up with someone, and you didn't. 391 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:32,741 Oh, I guess the captain of the football team isn't somebody. 392 00:16:34,878 --> 00:16:37,045 Captain-Justin rayvo?! 393 00:16:37,113 --> 00:16:38,246 Yep. 394 00:16:38,314 --> 00:16:38,914 He's out like trout, 395 00:16:38,982 --> 00:16:42,000 and he wants a piece of this. 396 00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:44,987 What exactly are you planning on doing with him? 397 00:16:45,054 --> 00:16:46,121 I don't know. 398 00:16:46,188 --> 00:16:48,156 Throw back a couple beers, watch some tube, 399 00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:50,275 who knows? 400 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,294 You're just doing this to mess me up. 401 00:16:52,362 --> 00:16:53,495 You're pathetic. 402 00:16:53,563 --> 00:16:54,880 I'm pathetic? 403 00:16:54,948 --> 00:16:55,881 At least someone here 404 00:16:55,949 --> 00:16:58,283 thinks I'm an attractive man. 405 00:16:58,350 --> 00:16:59,384 Oh, well, you know what? 406 00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,086 At least at the end of my rainbow 407 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:02,955 there's a vagina. 408 00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:05,540 Yeah? And what are you going to do 409 00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:06,892 when she rounds third base and finds out 410 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,528 there's a bat on the field? 411 00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:11,696 I'll cross that bridge- 412 00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,398 bottom line is I want the apartment. 413 00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:15,400 Yeah, well, so do I. 414 00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:21,690 I'm Justin, by the way. 415 00:17:21,758 --> 00:17:25,510 I think we met at outfest '97. 416 00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,346 Mm-hmm. 417 00:17:35,254 --> 00:17:37,189 Oh, no. 418 00:17:37,256 --> 00:17:38,556 No! 419 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,843 You're kidding me. 420 00:17:41,911 --> 00:17:45,013 Yo! You can't be closed right now! 421 00:17:45,081 --> 00:17:46,915 Sussman, man, come on. 422 00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:48,750 What is it, man? 423 00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:50,735 You're just getting a little crazy here. 424 00:17:50,804 --> 00:17:52,771 Come on, we already trashed nagel's car. 425 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:55,073 And I'm pretty sure one of his windows was open. 426 00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:57,726 It was open. I peed in it. 427 00:17:57,794 --> 00:17:58,744 Come on, what do you say? 428 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:00,345 Let me-let me take you home, huh? 429 00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:02,614 You're right, hef. 430 00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:04,649 You're right, you're right. 431 00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,051 All right. 432 00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:22,467 What're you doing? We gotta get the hell out of here! 433 00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:25,036 Relax, average response time is 8 minutes. 434 00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,210 8 minutes? 435 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,461 8 minutes from when? 436 00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,196 From when you threw the garbage can through the window? 437 00:18:35,264 --> 00:18:38,533 Or starting now? How long's it been? 438 00:18:38,601 --> 00:18:41,269 Oh, I gotta go to the bathroom. 439 00:18:41,337 --> 00:18:43,821 Hey, you're going to need gloves. For what? 440 00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:45,391 For when we break into his place. 441 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,359 He's got a rare coin collection. 442 00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:48,243 We're going to steal it, 443 00:18:48,311 --> 00:18:49,244 we're going to sell it, 444 00:18:49,312 --> 00:18:50,479 we're going to move to Mexico. 445 00:19:06,196 --> 00:19:08,497 Try to drink the ginger ale with this on your mouth. 446 00:19:13,302 --> 00:19:15,303 Hey, uh, buddy, I think I'm gonna scoot, 447 00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:16,588 but you have a good robbery, 448 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,590 and hey, I'll see you at the 25th, sussie! 449 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,091 Good catching up with you, hef! 450 00:19:25,614 --> 00:19:27,415 I want to rent in her shoes. 451 00:19:27,483 --> 00:19:29,618 I'm afraid we're closed, sir. 452 00:19:29,686 --> 00:19:30,785 But it's for my daughter. 453 00:19:30,853 --> 00:19:32,003 I'm sorry, 454 00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:33,605 but you're going to have to come back tomorrow. 455 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:38,410 Look, I was never there for my daughter. 456 00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:41,647 Never gave her the childhood she deserved. 457 00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:44,316 I only thought of myself. 458 00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:46,885 You sound a lot like my dad. 459 00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:49,120 Then you know what I'm talking about. 460 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,855 Wouldn't it be wonderful if you sat down with him 461 00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:54,493 and watched in her shoes? 462 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,161 Of course it would. 463 00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:00,048 It's over there! 464 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,950 Now, hurry up! 465 00:20:02,018 --> 00:20:03,601 Oh, God. The alarm. 466 00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:06,171 And only the morning crew has the code! 467 00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:08,824 I am so fired. 468 00:20:08,891 --> 00:20:11,510 Be sure and let me know where you wind up. 469 00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:34,616 See you in Mexico! Whoo! 470 00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:44,510 This I didn't see coming. 32529

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