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1
00:00:07,473 --> 00:00:08,573
Hello.
2
00:00:08,641 --> 00:00:10,808
Mm-hmm.
3
00:00:10,943 --> 00:00:13,010
Oh, hold on a second.
I'll get him.
4
00:00:14,713 --> 00:00:16,846
Arthur, phone!
5
00:00:16,913 --> 00:00:18,013
Who is it?
6
00:00:18,081 --> 00:00:21,216
It's Louis DiRobertus
from some law firm.
7
00:00:21,283 --> 00:00:22,718
Tell him to drop dead.
8
00:00:25,254 --> 00:00:26,553
OK, I'm not gonna tell
him to drop dead.
9
00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:30,288
Then tell him to go to hell.
10
00:00:30,357 --> 00:00:31,823
Not telling him that, either.
11
00:00:31,858 --> 00:00:33,224
Then you go to hell.
12
00:00:33,292 --> 00:00:34,592
You go to hell!
13
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,926
Drop dead!
14
00:00:40,129 --> 00:00:41,430
Sorry. Wrong number.
15
00:01:17,822 --> 00:01:20,457
I'm not gonna tell him
to go to hell, Dad!
16
00:01:20,525 --> 00:01:22,625
Arthur: Then you go to hell!
17
00:01:22,692 --> 00:01:24,025
Oy!
18
00:01:24,093 --> 00:01:25,827
Try again tomorrow.
19
00:01:25,894 --> 00:01:27,361
OK, bye.
20
00:01:27,429 --> 00:01:28,262
That lawyer again?
21
00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:29,297
Yeah.
22
00:01:29,364 --> 00:01:30,397
Why does he keep calling?
23
00:01:30,464 --> 00:01:31,698
What'd your father do, anyway?
24
00:01:31,766 --> 00:01:33,699
I don't know, but I'm
thinking we'd better be ready
25
00:01:33,767 --> 00:01:36,535
to throw him in the
car and just drive.
26
00:01:36,602 --> 00:01:38,202
Oh, man. You think he
knocked someone up
27
00:01:38,270 --> 00:01:40,170
and they're hunting him
down for child support?
28
00:01:42,006 --> 00:01:43,506
No.
29
00:01:43,573 --> 00:01:46,807
How creepy would that be?
30
00:01:46,875 --> 00:01:49,876
Arthur's demon spawn
running around out there.
31
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:50,944
Eww.
32
00:01:51,012 --> 00:01:54,814
Um... he is my father, remember?
33
00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:57,515
Oh, yeah.
34
00:01:59,217 --> 00:02:01,185
Still.
35
00:02:01,252 --> 00:02:02,685
Kids, I'm heading
out to the movies.
36
00:02:02,752 --> 00:02:03,919
Got a sandwich up my sleeve,
37
00:02:03,988 --> 00:02:07,122
and a Mr. Pibb in
my breast pocket.
38
00:02:07,190 --> 00:02:08,123
Do I look lumpy?
39
00:02:11,126 --> 00:02:13,493
No more than usual.
40
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,162
Uh, Dad, before you go, uh...
41
00:02:16,229 --> 00:02:18,363
what's the story with this
lawyer who keeps calling?
42
00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:20,798
Are you in some kind of
trouble or something?
43
00:02:20,866 --> 00:02:22,199
Trouble? Oh, no. Not
at all, darling.
44
00:02:22,266 --> 00:02:24,134
It's just about some
outstanding paperwork
45
00:02:24,202 --> 00:02:26,602
for the house I own
over on Borcher Avenue
46
00:02:26,670 --> 00:02:28,303
with my half-brother Skitch.
47
00:02:28,371 --> 00:02:29,938
Well, have a good evening.
48
00:02:34,642 --> 00:02:36,509
Borcher Avenue.
49
00:02:36,577 --> 00:02:39,711
Oh! OK, that must have
been his aunt's house.
50
00:02:39,779 --> 00:02:41,111
She died, like, 10 years ago,
51
00:02:41,180 --> 00:02:42,346
and she didn't have any kids,
52
00:02:42,414 --> 00:02:45,815
so she must have left it
to my dad and Skitch.
53
00:02:45,883 --> 00:02:48,718
He owns a house?
54
00:02:50,786 --> 00:02:53,020
Yeah, but I guess he never
did anything with it,
55
00:02:53,088 --> 00:02:54,454
because he hates
my Uncle Skitch,
56
00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:56,922
like Tom and Jerry hate,
you know what I'm saying?
57
00:02:56,990 --> 00:03:00,759
He owns a house?
58
00:03:00,826 --> 00:03:02,727
Yes.
59
00:03:02,795 --> 00:03:05,962
The man who's stolen hundreds
of dollars in change from me
60
00:03:06,030 --> 00:03:09,431
19 cents at a time
owns a house?!
61
00:03:09,499 --> 00:03:10,965
Yes. Will you relax, Doug?
62
00:03:11,033 --> 00:03:12,900
It's not like he ever
could have lived there.
63
00:03:12,967 --> 00:03:16,135
He hasn't talked to my Uncle
Skitch in, like, 20 years.
64
00:03:16,203 --> 00:03:19,037
The man who's walked in on
us having sex 9 times...
65
00:03:19,105 --> 00:03:22,373
And me twice... Owns a house?!
66
00:03:24,042 --> 00:03:26,777
Would you stop making
yourself crazy?
67
00:03:26,845 --> 00:03:28,445
I mean, the good news
is maybe we'll get
68
00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:30,680
a little inheritance
someday, all right?
69
00:03:30,748 --> 00:03:31,913
Now, I'm gonna go change.
70
00:03:31,981 --> 00:03:34,082
Will you take the chicken
out of the freezer?
71
00:03:46,591 --> 00:03:48,024
Chicken's defrosting nicely.
72
00:03:48,091 --> 00:03:51,259
I also took the liberty
of setting the table.
73
00:03:51,328 --> 00:03:52,728
Now...
74
00:03:52,796 --> 00:03:54,261
He's not moving out, Doug.
75
00:03:54,330 --> 00:03:56,731
Why not?!
76
00:03:56,799 --> 00:03:58,732
Because he's an old man, OK?
77
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,967
We can't just expect to throw
him in a empty house by himself
78
00:04:02,035 --> 00:04:03,402
and hope he survives.
79
00:04:03,470 --> 00:04:06,371
Why not?!
80
00:04:06,438 --> 00:04:09,674
Because, Doug, when we left
him alone in this house
81
00:04:09,741 --> 00:04:11,207
he started a small fire,
82
00:04:11,275 --> 00:04:13,709
and managed to change our
long distance carrier.
83
00:04:13,777 --> 00:04:15,844
Look, OK. How about this?
84
00:04:15,912 --> 00:04:16,978
What if he didn't
live there alone?
85
00:04:17,046 --> 00:04:18,279
What about if he went
with his brother...
86
00:04:18,346 --> 00:04:21,347
What's his name? Snitch, Satch.
87
00:04:21,415 --> 00:04:22,783
Skitch. Yeah!
88
00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:25,117
Where's he at? The brothers
could live together.
89
00:04:25,185 --> 00:04:26,785
Did you hear a word I said?
90
00:04:26,852 --> 00:04:29,054
My father won't
even talk to him.
91
00:04:29,121 --> 00:04:31,388
Oh, like, we talk to each
other so much really?
92
00:04:31,455 --> 00:04:33,923
Look, Carrie, even if
they don't get along,
93
00:04:33,991 --> 00:04:35,091
you know, they could
put a piece of tape
94
00:04:35,159 --> 00:04:36,291
down the middle of the house...
95
00:04:36,358 --> 00:04:37,159
Each take a side.
96
00:04:37,226 --> 00:04:39,426
It worked for the Brady kids.
97
00:04:39,494 --> 00:04:41,862
Oh, really? Did Peter
ever call Greg
98
00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:44,097
a son of a bitch rat bastard?
99
00:04:44,165 --> 00:04:46,698
May have. I didn't
see every episode.
100
00:04:46,766 --> 00:04:50,033
Uh... I'm pretty sure you did.
101
00:04:50,101 --> 00:04:51,735
Look, can't we just
get them together.
102
00:04:51,802 --> 00:04:52,736
See if they can hash it out?
103
00:04:52,803 --> 00:04:54,337
No, we can't. I tried.
104
00:04:54,405 --> 00:04:55,537
When?!
105
00:04:55,605 --> 00:04:57,005
A couple of years ago
I was going across
106
00:04:57,073 --> 00:04:58,373
the George Washington Bridge.
107
00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,375
I ran into Skitch. He's
a toll-taker there.
108
00:05:00,442 --> 00:05:02,542
I got his number, I
gave it to my father,
109
00:05:02,610 --> 00:05:06,078
who crumpled it up
and swallowed it.
110
00:05:06,146 --> 00:05:09,981
He owns a house!
111
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:12,682
Carrie, do you understand
what's going on here?
112
00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:13,984
It's like we've been stranded
113
00:05:14,051 --> 00:05:16,185
on Gilligan's Island
for the past 5 years,
114
00:05:16,253 --> 00:05:17,619
and the whole time
there's a boat
115
00:05:17,686 --> 00:05:19,887
on the other side of the lagoon!
116
00:05:19,955 --> 00:05:22,723
OK, so first it's
the Brady Bunch,
117
00:05:22,791 --> 00:05:24,991
now it's Gilligan's Island.
What's next?
118
00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:26,726
I Dream of Jeannie, Doug?
119
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:27,926
Actually, yeah,
120
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,695
'cause I wish he would move out.
121
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,896
OK, listen to me.
122
00:05:31,963 --> 00:05:33,097
I agree,
123
00:05:33,164 --> 00:05:36,599
if my dad and Skitch were
to become best friends
124
00:05:36,666 --> 00:05:40,234
and move in together,
it would be fantastic.
125
00:05:40,302 --> 00:05:42,136
But it's never gonna happen.
126
00:05:43,505 --> 00:05:44,838
Let me take a crack at it.
127
00:05:44,906 --> 00:05:46,706
No! Why not?!
128
00:05:46,774 --> 00:05:48,173
Doug, come on. If you bring
this up to my father,
129
00:05:48,241 --> 00:05:50,542
he's just gonna go crazy,
so I am begging you.
130
00:05:50,610 --> 00:05:53,010
Please leave this alone.
131
00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:59,781
Arthur: Swell of you to take
me to the circus, Douglas.
132
00:05:59,849 --> 00:06:00,983
Sure, buddy.
133
00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:02,283
Hey, how about when that
clown went to throw
134
00:06:02,350 --> 00:06:04,184
that bucket of
water on you, huh?
135
00:06:04,252 --> 00:06:07,321
It turned out to be confetti.
136
00:06:07,388 --> 00:06:08,821
He had me! He really had me!
137
00:06:08,888 --> 00:06:11,524
The look on your face.
138
00:06:11,591 --> 00:06:13,525
Ahh, well...
139
00:06:13,592 --> 00:06:15,659
time to hop across the ol' G.W.
Bridge
140
00:06:15,726 --> 00:06:16,693
and head on home.
141
00:06:16,795 --> 00:06:18,794
Hey, why don't you shimmy over
142
00:06:18,862 --> 00:06:20,563
to that exact change
lane over there?
143
00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:22,497
I always got plenty
of change on me.
144
00:06:22,565 --> 00:06:24,899
I know you do.
145
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:27,301
No, I think we'll
stay here in Lane 9.
146
00:06:27,368 --> 00:06:28,602
It's my, uh, lucky number.
147
00:06:28,669 --> 00:06:31,070
Wait a minute.
148
00:06:31,137 --> 00:06:34,138
I know for a fact that 5
is your lucky number.
149
00:06:34,206 --> 00:06:36,474
What's going on here?
150
00:06:42,479 --> 00:06:44,846
$6.00 please.
151
00:06:44,914 --> 00:06:47,914
Hey, S. Spooner, wait a second.
152
00:06:47,982 --> 00:06:50,015
Isn't that your half
brother Skitch?
153
00:06:50,083 --> 00:06:52,918
You know damn well it
is, you fat turncoat!
154
00:06:52,986 --> 00:06:54,519
That you, Artie?
155
00:06:54,587 --> 00:06:55,520
How you doing?
156
00:06:55,588 --> 00:06:56,654
Let me out of this car.
157
00:06:56,721 --> 00:06:58,556
Arthur, I got the child
safety locks on.
158
00:06:58,624 --> 00:07:00,624
I think I can get past
child safety locks.
159
00:07:02,892 --> 00:07:04,660
Just open it, Douglas!
160
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,628
So how you been, Artie?
161
00:07:06,695 --> 00:07:08,395
You never call.
162
00:07:10,732 --> 00:07:11,765
Would you just talk
to your brother?
163
00:07:11,833 --> 00:07:14,033
So you must be Carrie's
husband, right?
164
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,667
Yeah, yeah. Doug Heffernan.
Nice to meet you.
165
00:07:15,735 --> 00:07:16,668
Nice to meet you.
166
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:17,669
So where are you
fellas coming from?
167
00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:18,670
The circus?
168
00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:19,770
Yeah, yeah.
169
00:07:19,838 --> 00:07:22,171
Uh, you know what? We're
gonna whip around.
170
00:07:22,239 --> 00:07:23,305
We'll see you in
about 25 minutes.
171
00:07:23,373 --> 00:07:24,306
See you, Artie! OK.
172
00:07:30,879 --> 00:07:34,681
There are the fellas.
173
00:07:34,749 --> 00:07:36,381
That's $6.00.
174
00:07:36,449 --> 00:07:38,816
Oh, uh, can you break a 20?
175
00:07:38,884 --> 00:07:40,852
I can only give you singles.
Is that all right?
176
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,385
You don't have any fives?
177
00:07:42,453 --> 00:07:44,787
Why are we back here?!
178
00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:46,122
So you can talk to this man,
179
00:07:46,189 --> 00:07:47,789
now, come on. He seems
very, very nice.
180
00:07:47,857 --> 00:07:50,358
Nice? Thanks to him I went
all the way through school
181
00:07:50,425 --> 00:07:51,424
being called "monkey boy."
182
00:07:51,492 --> 00:07:52,993
Come on, Artie.
183
00:07:53,061 --> 00:07:54,660
You had those long arms,
184
00:07:54,728 --> 00:07:56,395
and you didn't help your cause
185
00:07:56,463 --> 00:07:58,463
riding around on that
tricycle everywhere.
186
00:07:58,531 --> 00:08:02,466
I don't know. Monkey boy sounds
pretty cool to me, you know?
187
00:08:02,534 --> 00:08:03,833
Almost like a superhero.
188
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:06,536
This looks like a
job for Monkey Boy!
189
00:08:06,604 --> 00:08:09,338
Well, I was his victim in a
thousand other ways, too.
190
00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:11,205
I was bullied. I
was scapegoated.
191
00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:13,506
I was constantly
being sneezed on!
192
00:08:13,574 --> 00:08:14,708
Oh, all right,
193
00:08:14,775 --> 00:08:17,776
I admit I did some pretty
stupid things to you.
194
00:08:17,844 --> 00:08:18,844
Why?
195
00:08:18,911 --> 00:08:20,311
Why?!
196
00:08:21,514 --> 00:08:23,413
You chew on that. Be right back.
197
00:08:28,719 --> 00:08:31,086
I did those things because
it was the only way
198
00:08:31,154 --> 00:08:32,887
I could get Dad's approval.
199
00:08:32,954 --> 00:08:33,988
Oh, yeah?
200
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,789
Well, what about after he died?
201
00:08:35,856 --> 00:08:38,658
You made fun of me in your
eulogy, for God's sake!
202
00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:41,226
I thought that's what
he would have wanted.
203
00:08:41,294 --> 00:08:42,627
That's $6.00.
204
00:08:43,662 --> 00:08:45,029
Oh, we got a semi. Gotta go.
205
00:08:46,764 --> 00:08:48,298
You did so! I did not.
206
00:08:48,364 --> 00:08:49,298
You did! Never!
207
00:08:49,366 --> 00:08:51,534
At least 5 times. Twice.
208
00:09:01,206 --> 00:09:03,775
OK, that was a $6.00
awkward pause.
209
00:09:05,744 --> 00:09:08,612
Now, you two have had
your ups and downs,
210
00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:14,114
but the bottom line is
you're half brothers.
211
00:09:14,182 --> 00:09:18,585
Do you understand what a
special bond that is?
212
00:09:18,653 --> 00:09:21,020
I never had a half brother.
213
00:09:21,121 --> 00:09:23,655
I had a full sister,
and it sucked.
214
00:09:23,722 --> 00:09:25,090
Now, come on, guys.
215
00:09:25,157 --> 00:09:27,224
What do you say you
bury the hatchet...
216
00:09:27,292 --> 00:09:28,959
before it's too late?
217
00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:34,196
I'm sorry for everything.
218
00:09:34,263 --> 00:09:35,997
You were the best half brother
219
00:09:36,065 --> 00:09:37,697
a guy could have asked for.
220
00:09:37,765 --> 00:09:39,065
I was?
221
00:09:39,133 --> 00:09:40,633
Sure you were.
222
00:09:40,701 --> 00:09:43,035
Damn it, Artie,
223
00:09:43,069 --> 00:09:44,503
I love you.
224
00:09:44,571 --> 00:09:46,537
All right.
225
00:09:48,774 --> 00:09:51,441
I love you, too, Skitch.
226
00:09:53,377 --> 00:09:54,810
Come here, you.
227
00:10:03,117 --> 00:10:05,284
That'll be $6.00.
228
00:10:16,693 --> 00:10:17,893
Wow.
229
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:19,694
This is sweet.
230
00:10:21,562 --> 00:10:24,030
Hey, look at this
place, Skitchy.
231
00:10:24,098 --> 00:10:26,264
Really takes me back.
232
00:10:26,332 --> 00:10:29,934
Hey, remember when we used to
play hide-and-seek in here?
233
00:10:30,002 --> 00:10:31,668
Oh, sure. We had lots of fun.
234
00:10:31,736 --> 00:10:33,504
Hey, if you guys decide
to move in together,
235
00:10:33,571 --> 00:10:36,606
you can play hide-and-seek
whenever you want.
236
00:10:36,673 --> 00:10:38,607
Oh, please.
237
00:10:38,674 --> 00:10:43,410
At our age, we'd be lucky if
we played once on weekends.
238
00:10:43,478 --> 00:10:45,678
So what do you think, Skitchy?
239
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:46,945
Should we do this?!
240
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:48,614
It'd be a hell of a step up
from the room I'm renting
241
00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:50,515
over that Chinese joint.
242
00:10:50,582 --> 00:10:52,516
I knew I liked the
way you smelled.
243
00:10:54,918 --> 00:10:56,318
Let's do it.
244
00:10:56,386 --> 00:10:57,453
Great. Come on!
245
00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,920
Let's go check out
the old backyard.
246
00:10:59,988 --> 00:11:01,255
The old backyard.
247
00:11:06,593 --> 00:11:07,593
Carrie: Hello!
248
00:11:07,661 --> 00:11:09,227
Doug?
249
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,862
Welcome!
250
00:11:10,929 --> 00:11:12,696
What... I... I just
came over from work.
251
00:11:12,764 --> 00:11:14,531
I got your message. What
the hell is going on?
252
00:11:14,599 --> 00:11:18,468
Well, Arthur and I happened to
be coming back from the circus,
253
00:11:18,535 --> 00:11:19,501
and when we got to the bridge...
254
00:11:19,569 --> 00:11:20,502
Oh, Doug!
255
00:11:20,570 --> 00:11:21,536
Would you let me
finish, Carrie, OK?
256
00:11:21,604 --> 00:11:23,070
Yeah, we found Skitch.
257
00:11:23,137 --> 00:11:24,271
And you know what? They made up,
258
00:11:24,339 --> 00:11:25,405
and they want to live together.
259
00:11:25,473 --> 00:11:26,873
They want to!
260
00:11:26,940 --> 00:11:29,007
I told you to leave this alone.
261
00:11:29,075 --> 00:11:30,208
No, no, what you said was,
262
00:11:30,276 --> 00:11:32,377
if they could work it out,
that would be fantastic,
263
00:11:32,444 --> 00:11:33,478
and I made it happen!
264
00:11:33,545 --> 00:11:34,778
You shouldn't be yelling at me.
265
00:11:34,846 --> 00:11:37,280
You should be carrying me out
of here on your shoulders.
266
00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:40,616
Not literally. You would die.
267
00:11:40,684 --> 00:11:42,617
I don't know. I mean, come on.
268
00:11:42,685 --> 00:11:44,918
Look at this place.
It's a disaster.
269
00:11:44,986 --> 00:11:48,020
It's filthy. The... the
walls are crumbling.
270
00:11:48,088 --> 00:11:50,289
The carpet's ripped. Come on.
271
00:11:50,357 --> 00:11:53,458
It's probably just protecting
beautiful hardwood floors.
272
00:11:53,526 --> 00:11:55,392
Better yet. Cement.
273
00:11:55,460 --> 00:11:57,028
That ain't going
anywhere right there.
274
00:11:57,094 --> 00:11:58,628
All it needs is a little TLC.
275
00:11:58,696 --> 00:11:59,696
I can fix it.
276
00:11:59,763 --> 00:12:01,363
I don't know, I mean,
even if you did,
277
00:12:01,431 --> 00:12:03,698
I don't want my dad living
this far away from us.
278
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:04,732
It's 6 blocks!
279
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,634
I've eaten sandwiches
longer than that.
280
00:12:06,701 --> 00:12:10,069
I don't care. I just... I
don't think it's a good idea.
281
00:12:10,137 --> 00:12:11,704
Why not? Give me one
reason why not.
282
00:12:11,771 --> 00:12:14,405
Because I don't think it's the
right thing for my father.
283
00:12:14,473 --> 00:12:16,041
OK, first of all,
I got to tell you
284
00:12:16,108 --> 00:12:17,774
I think it's great
for your father.
285
00:12:17,843 --> 00:12:20,376
And second of all,
what about you and me?
286
00:12:20,444 --> 00:12:22,378
I mean, isn't it time we
started thinking about us?
287
00:12:22,446 --> 00:12:23,978
Do you understand
what's going on here?
288
00:12:24,046 --> 00:12:28,382
This is our chance to
finally get off the island.
289
00:12:28,450 --> 00:12:30,650
The boat is just there waiting.
290
00:12:30,718 --> 00:12:33,184
It's like I'm the Professor
and you're Mary Ann.
291
00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:35,720
All we gotta do is hop
on board and sail away!
292
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:38,955
Sail away with me!
293
00:12:39,023 --> 00:12:40,924
Wait a second.
294
00:12:40,992 --> 00:12:43,459
You're the Professor?
295
00:12:43,526 --> 00:12:45,994
OK, I'm the Skipper.
296
00:12:48,164 --> 00:12:49,763
Come on. What do you say?
297
00:12:49,831 --> 00:12:51,798
I don't know. I mean,
do you think my dad
298
00:12:51,866 --> 00:12:54,167
would really be happy
here with Skitch?
299
00:12:54,235 --> 00:12:55,634
Are you kidding?
300
00:13:19,952 --> 00:13:22,987
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Where
you going with that, chief?
301
00:13:23,054 --> 00:13:24,921
Oh, I was gonna take
Aunt Rita's room.
302
00:13:24,989 --> 00:13:27,022
Oh, sorry. Already got that one.
303
00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:28,356
That's all right.
304
00:13:28,424 --> 00:13:30,658
I'm the little brother, so
I'll take the smaller room.
305
00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:32,893
Uh-uh-uh-uh.
306
00:13:32,961 --> 00:13:36,461
Uh, I already turned
that into my art studio.
307
00:13:36,529 --> 00:13:38,196
I need a place to
do my painting.
308
00:13:38,264 --> 00:13:39,364
You paint?
309
00:13:39,431 --> 00:13:41,766
Sure. By numbers.
310
00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:44,401
So where am I supposed to sleep?
311
00:13:44,468 --> 00:13:45,803
The sewing room.
312
00:13:45,869 --> 00:13:48,537
What?
313
00:13:48,605 --> 00:13:50,738
There's barely room
for a bed in there,
314
00:13:50,807 --> 00:13:52,739
and there's no windows.
315
00:13:52,808 --> 00:13:55,875
Look, Artie, sometimes I
can't sleep at night.
316
00:13:55,943 --> 00:13:58,111
I need to be near my paints.
317
00:13:58,179 --> 00:13:59,945
You haven't changed a bit!
318
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,379
I don't have to
put up with this.
319
00:14:01,447 --> 00:14:03,413
I don't have to live in
a lousy sewing room!
320
00:14:03,481 --> 00:14:06,082
It just so happens
I have a basement!
321
00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:24,728
All right, so what have you got?
322
00:14:24,796 --> 00:14:26,097
8 1/2 feet.
323
00:14:26,164 --> 00:14:28,931
Oh, good, all right, so
we'll put the desk there
324
00:14:28,999 --> 00:14:30,133
and the bookcase over there.
325
00:14:30,201 --> 00:14:35,769
OK, and where precisely
will we be throwing down?
326
00:14:35,837 --> 00:14:38,571
We have the old fold-out
couch for that,
327
00:14:38,639 --> 00:14:39,873
and that will be right here.
328
00:14:39,940 --> 00:14:41,840
Sure all that stuff's
gonna fit here?
329
00:14:41,908 --> 00:14:43,008
Yeah, well, once we get the bed
330
00:14:43,075 --> 00:14:44,108
and all this other
crap out of here,
331
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:45,442
we'll have a lot of space.
332
00:14:45,511 --> 00:14:48,278
OK. Don't laugh when I say this:
333
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:50,312
old-fashioned popcorn machine.
334
00:14:50,380 --> 00:14:54,181
Gotta say, not hating it.
335
00:15:13,429 --> 00:15:15,230
Hey, Deac, I got another one.
336
00:15:15,298 --> 00:15:19,900
♪ Ebony and ivory
337
00:15:19,968 --> 00:15:24,036
♪ Live together in
perfect harm... ♪
338
00:15:24,104 --> 00:15:25,770
♪ ... Ony
339
00:15:25,838 --> 00:15:28,806
I don't care if you are buying
me dinner at Appleby's.
340
00:15:28,873 --> 00:15:31,774
I'm doing you a favor, and I
can leave anytime I want.
341
00:15:31,842 --> 00:15:35,343
You're doing great,
but it's lunch.
342
00:15:35,411 --> 00:15:37,713
Right over there, boys.
343
00:15:37,779 --> 00:15:39,847
Oh. There you go.
344
00:15:39,915 --> 00:15:42,281
So you actually play this thing?
345
00:15:42,349 --> 00:15:43,883
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
346
00:15:43,951 --> 00:15:47,285
Maybe Arthur and I can
get an act together.
347
00:15:47,352 --> 00:15:49,854
I'll be the organ grinder,
he'll be the monkey.
348
00:15:49,922 --> 00:15:51,254
We'll get him a
little round cap.
349
00:15:51,321 --> 00:15:54,189
Nobody will know the difference.
350
00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:56,491
Come on, monkey boy.
351
00:15:56,559 --> 00:15:59,260
Let's go make these
fellas some sandwiches,
352
00:15:59,328 --> 00:16:02,129
and maybe I'll find
a banana for you.
353
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:07,365
Skitch is kind of
rough, isn't he?
354
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:08,967
What are you talking about?
355
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:11,869
I don't know. The way
he treats Arthur.
356
00:16:11,936 --> 00:16:13,603
He's just playing with him.
357
00:16:13,671 --> 00:16:15,972
It's hilarious. It's like
they're a comedy team.
358
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,674
Arthur's been taking one gut
punch after another all day.
359
00:16:18,741 --> 00:16:20,374
He's the straight man.
360
00:16:20,442 --> 00:16:22,142
Whatever, man. I just
think it's kind of funky.
361
00:16:22,210 --> 00:16:24,211
It's not funky, it's happy, OK?
362
00:16:24,278 --> 00:16:27,479
Everybody's happy, so if you feel the
need to create some sort of problem
363
00:16:27,547 --> 00:16:31,849
between my father-in-law and my...
half-uncle-in-law,
364
00:16:31,918 --> 00:16:33,984
then maybe you should just go.
365
00:16:34,052 --> 00:16:36,286
All right. See ya.
366
00:16:36,353 --> 00:16:38,820
Actually, we've still
got to move the beds.
367
00:16:43,925 --> 00:16:45,458
Hey. Hey.
368
00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:48,127
How's life over at
Phi Delta Spooner?
369
00:16:48,194 --> 00:16:50,329
Excellent.
370
00:16:50,397 --> 00:16:52,663
I got to tell you, honey, you were
right about this whole thing.
371
00:16:52,731 --> 00:16:55,332
I feel like a huge weight
372
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,301
has been lifted off my head.
373
00:16:57,368 --> 00:16:59,302
You know, I danced a jig today.
374
00:16:59,369 --> 00:17:01,069
That's right. Right
there on the subway.
375
00:17:01,137 --> 00:17:02,904
A guy gave me a dollar.
376
00:17:04,505 --> 00:17:05,672
You done good, baby.
377
00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:08,507
You know me. I aim to please.
378
00:17:08,575 --> 00:17:11,643
No, sir. I aim to please.
379
00:17:11,711 --> 00:17:14,377
I have 5 years to
make up to you,
380
00:17:14,445 --> 00:17:17,714
so after you drop this stuff
off at my dad's tonight,
381
00:17:17,781 --> 00:17:19,816
it's all about Dougie.
382
00:17:22,585 --> 00:17:23,750
Really?
383
00:17:23,818 --> 00:17:28,555
That's right. I got a drum
of chocolate pudding,
384
00:17:28,622 --> 00:17:31,190
and I ain't afraid to use it.
385
00:17:40,197 --> 00:17:41,164
Hello!
386
00:17:41,231 --> 00:17:43,265
Skitch: Get the door, will ya!
387
00:17:48,003 --> 00:17:49,602
Costco delivery.
388
00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:51,971
I come bearing cereal, pasta,
389
00:17:52,039 --> 00:17:54,706
and the last bottle of
shampoo you'll ever need.
390
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:56,073
Thank you.
391
00:17:56,141 --> 00:17:58,075
Wow. The place looks great.
392
00:17:58,143 --> 00:18:00,143
All that's left is for you
guys to sit back, relax,
393
00:18:00,211 --> 00:18:01,843
and enjoy the good life, huh?
394
00:18:01,911 --> 00:18:02,878
Right.
395
00:18:02,946 --> 00:18:04,447
Skitch: Hey, Bonzo,
396
00:18:04,514 --> 00:18:07,449
my bath isn't gonna draw itself.
397
00:18:07,516 --> 00:18:09,416
OK. You guys seem like you're
in the middle of something,
398
00:18:09,484 --> 00:18:10,551
so I'm going to take off.
399
00:18:10,619 --> 00:18:12,518
OK. Good night.
400
00:18:12,586 --> 00:18:15,987
Skitch: Why the hell don't
I hear the water running?
401
00:18:28,296 --> 00:18:31,298
You know, that's shampoo
and conditioner in one.
402
00:18:31,365 --> 00:18:33,666
Yes, I do. I do.
403
00:18:43,407 --> 00:18:45,041
Arthur, come here.
404
00:18:48,811 --> 00:18:52,912
Look, I don't think you should
be living here with this guy.
405
00:18:52,980 --> 00:18:56,614
So what do you propose I do?
406
00:18:56,682 --> 00:18:59,283
Well, I think you should just...
407
00:18:59,351 --> 00:19:02,186
Do you own any other
properties in the area?
408
00:19:02,254 --> 00:19:05,988
A home? A piece of land we
could park a trailer on?
409
00:19:06,056 --> 00:19:07,289
No.
410
00:19:07,357 --> 00:19:10,091
OK, fine. You should...
411
00:19:10,159 --> 00:19:11,692
You should come home with us.
412
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,093
But what about my room?
413
00:19:13,161 --> 00:19:18,197
You've already turned it into
your popcorn and sex grotto.
414
00:19:18,265 --> 00:19:20,765
I don't care about that, OK?
415
00:19:20,833 --> 00:19:22,099
You shouldn't be living
here with this guy.
416
00:19:22,167 --> 00:19:24,668
You should be home
in your own room,
417
00:19:24,736 --> 00:19:28,203
living with the people who...
418
00:19:28,271 --> 00:19:29,872
well, the people who love you.
419
00:19:29,939 --> 00:19:31,506
Really? Yeah.
420
00:19:31,573 --> 00:19:33,841
Great. I'll get my things,
421
00:19:33,909 --> 00:19:35,676
tell that son of a
bitch good-bye,
422
00:19:35,810 --> 00:19:39,111
and you, me, and Carrie will spend
a wonderful evening together.
423
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:40,512
Oh, uh, whoa.
424
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:41,512
What?
425
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:45,048
Tonight's not great. Um...
426
00:19:45,116 --> 00:19:48,517
you think you might be able to
stick it out just one more day?
427
00:19:48,585 --> 00:19:49,985
OK. All right. OK.
428
00:19:55,156 --> 00:19:56,623
Yeah, I know I said today,
429
00:19:56,691 --> 00:19:59,492
but could we push it
back to tomorrow?
430
00:19:59,559 --> 00:20:01,593
All right.
431
00:20:05,463 --> 00:20:07,364
Really want you home, big guy,
432
00:20:07,431 --> 00:20:10,332
but could you just
wait till Monday?
433
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,167
Fine.
434
00:20:14,036 --> 00:20:17,604
Skitch: Artie, did you take
one of my Fig Newtons?
435
00:20:17,672 --> 00:20:18,872
Oh, God.
436
00:20:22,108 --> 00:20:24,676
Tell you what. Give me a call
the first of next month,
437
00:20:24,744 --> 00:20:28,745
'cause I really want to make
this movin' back thing happen.
438
00:20:28,813 --> 00:20:30,513
Carrie: Doug, you coming?
439
00:20:30,581 --> 00:20:32,347
Be right there. I got to go.
440
00:20:43,323 --> 00:20:44,956
I'm back.
441
00:20:45,023 --> 00:20:47,158
Deal with it.
442
00:20:54,964 --> 00:20:56,564
Mmm.
443
00:20:57,732 --> 00:20:59,199
This pudding is delicious.
444
00:20:59,267 --> 00:21:01,401
You have any more?
445
00:21:01,468 --> 00:21:03,436
We got a lot.
31365
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