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But I think my
favorite mayor of all
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was Mr. John D. Lindsay.
3
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Marvelous politician
and, if I may say,
4
00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:40,461
easy on the eyes.
5
00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:42,496
Hey, guys, good walk?
6
00:00:42,531 --> 00:00:44,264
Oh, it was great.
Arthur's been telling me
7
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all these funny mayor stories.
8
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Oh, yeah? Oh, Holly,
9
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let me pay you for this week.
10
00:00:49,665 --> 00:00:51,565
There you go, sweetie. Thanks.
11
00:00:51,633 --> 00:00:53,899
You don't have to
pay my dogwalker
12
00:00:53,967 --> 00:00:57,199
in front of me like
I'm an animal!
13
00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:59,299
Well, you can earn some money
14
00:00:59,366 --> 00:01:01,266
and pay her yourself.
15
00:01:01,334 --> 00:01:04,533
Easy there, sister. I was
just making conversation.
16
00:01:04,602 --> 00:01:05,700
Holly: Thanks, Carr.
17
00:01:05,767 --> 00:01:06,934
Listen, Arthur, I'm
adding a new dog
18
00:01:07,002 --> 00:01:08,000
to our walk next time...
19
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,267
This adorable Jack Russell.
20
00:01:10,335 --> 00:01:11,635
I hope it's not the Jack Russell
21
00:01:11,703 --> 00:01:14,802
I knew in the army. I
left him for dead.
22
00:01:15,769 --> 00:01:17,201
Hey, babe.
23
00:01:17,269 --> 00:01:20,036
Hi, honey. Listen, I'm sorry
24
00:01:20,104 --> 00:01:21,101
I couldn't make that meeting
25
00:01:21,169 --> 00:01:22,736
with the mortgage guy.
How'd it go?
26
00:01:22,803 --> 00:01:24,437
Great. He ran down
the options for me,
27
00:01:24,504 --> 00:01:26,669
and I think I selected
us a refinancing plan
28
00:01:26,737 --> 00:01:28,137
that fits our needs pretty well.
29
00:01:28,205 --> 00:01:29,705
Yeah? Which?
30
00:01:29,772 --> 00:01:31,937
Uh, the purple one.
31
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:34,203
Did you even read it?
32
00:01:34,271 --> 00:01:35,105
No, but the broker
was pushing it,
33
00:01:35,173 --> 00:01:37,239
and he seemed like a
pretty bright guy.
34
00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:38,872
Look, the middle-aged
black couple here
35
00:01:38,939 --> 00:01:41,006
seems pretty happy with it.
36
00:01:41,074 --> 00:01:42,540
You're not ready
37
00:01:42,607 --> 00:01:45,873
to do grown-up stuff
on your own, are you?
38
00:01:45,941 --> 00:01:47,406
I got the gist of it, all right?
39
00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:49,473
Right now we got 7 years
left on our mortgage.
40
00:01:49,541 --> 00:01:50,774
If we switch to this one,
41
00:01:50,842 --> 00:01:52,307
it's gonna bring our
payments way down
42
00:01:52,374 --> 00:01:54,941
because we're gonna spread 'em
out over the next 30 years.
43
00:01:55,008 --> 00:01:56,108
Hmm. That sounds good.
44
00:01:56,175 --> 00:01:57,208
Yeah. My only concern was
45
00:01:57,275 --> 00:02:01,375
are we really gonna dig
each other for that long?
46
00:02:01,443 --> 00:02:03,742
Well, unless you leave
me for a roast beef,
47
00:02:03,810 --> 00:02:06,276
I think we're OK.
48
00:02:06,344 --> 00:02:07,409
So when do we sign everything?
49
00:02:07,477 --> 00:02:08,943
I'm picking up the
application tomorrow
50
00:02:09,011 --> 00:02:10,043
and I'll bring it
by your office.
51
00:02:10,110 --> 00:02:11,044
Holy sweet Mother,
52
00:02:11,111 --> 00:02:13,678
I'm staring at a
bowl of chocolate.
53
00:02:13,745 --> 00:02:15,510
Yeah, I'm making brownies.
54
00:02:15,578 --> 00:02:16,678
Hey, get away.
They're not for you.
55
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:17,811
They're for Curt from work.
56
00:02:17,879 --> 00:02:19,245
Who?
57
00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:19,945
Curt, my friend from work.
58
00:02:20,013 --> 00:02:21,312
It's his birthday tomorrow.
59
00:02:21,379 --> 00:02:22,078
Uh-huh.
60
00:02:23,213 --> 00:02:25,046
No... no! Stop it!
61
00:02:25,114 --> 00:02:26,946
Don't... don't do it!
62
00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,046
No!
63
00:02:28,114 --> 00:02:29,313
You only bake a
few times a year!
64
00:02:29,381 --> 00:02:31,448
I should be on the business
end of all of 'em!
65
00:02:31,515 --> 00:02:34,882
Doug, I limit my baking
to keep you alive.
66
00:02:34,949 --> 00:02:38,115
Look, you know, I'm not sure I like
you baking for another man, anyway.
67
00:02:38,182 --> 00:02:39,148
All right. You know what? Relax.
68
00:02:39,216 --> 00:02:40,781
Curt is gay.
69
00:02:40,849 --> 00:02:43,049
Oh, well, then there's
no way he can eat
70
00:02:43,116 --> 00:02:45,615
a tray full of brownies and still
look good in his gay pants.
71
00:02:45,683 --> 00:02:46,549
So give. Give 'em to me.
72
00:02:46,617 --> 00:02:48,016
Stop it! Stop!
73
00:02:57,852 --> 00:02:59,184
Woman: Hey, Doug. Oh, hey, Amy.
74
00:02:59,252 --> 00:03:00,518
You, uh, see the wifeski?
75
00:03:01,586 --> 00:03:03,652
The what? The wifeski.
76
00:03:04,786 --> 00:03:07,420
I'm sorry. I don't know
what you're saying.
77
00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:09,119
My wife Carrie.
Have you seen her?
78
00:03:09,186 --> 00:03:10,153
Oh.
79
00:03:10,221 --> 00:03:11,987
Yeah, she should be back
from lunch any minute.
80
00:03:12,054 --> 00:03:13,121
Thanks. OK.
81
00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:28,456
Hey, honey.
82
00:03:28,524 --> 00:03:29,889
Doug: Hey! Hey!
83
00:03:29,956 --> 00:03:30,890
How are ya? Good.
84
00:03:30,957 --> 00:03:31,989
I brought the mortgage down.
85
00:03:32,057 --> 00:03:32,989
Oh, good.
86
00:03:33,057 --> 00:03:34,090
Curt, this is my husband Doug.
87
00:03:34,158 --> 00:03:35,791
Oh, it's great to
meet you finally.
88
00:03:35,858 --> 00:03:37,057
C-Curt. Brownie Curt.
89
00:03:37,125 --> 00:03:38,825
Yeah. I'd offer you one,
90
00:03:38,892 --> 00:03:40,691
but my co-workers pretty much
mowed right through them.
91
00:03:40,759 --> 00:03:43,058
I yanked my hands
away just in time.
92
00:03:43,126 --> 00:03:45,124
Well, no biggie.
93
00:03:51,661 --> 00:03:54,127
Speaking of scary co-workers,
94
00:03:54,195 --> 00:03:56,827
did you see Vanveen
make his way over here?
95
00:03:56,895 --> 00:03:57,861
Uh, yeah.
96
00:03:57,928 --> 00:03:59,061
He was just standing
there, staring at us...
97
00:03:59,128 --> 00:04:00,894
"What ya got there? Brownies?"
98
00:04:00,962 --> 00:04:01,896
Very odd. Carrie: Very odd,
99
00:04:01,963 --> 00:04:03,595
and did you see he was
wearing that thing again?
100
00:04:03,597 --> 00:04:04,362
That thing with the snaps?
101
00:04:04,430 --> 00:04:05,361
Yeah, yeah.
102
00:04:05,429 --> 00:04:06,361
He thinks it works for him.
103
00:04:06,429 --> 00:04:07,529
It doesn't. Uh-uh!
104
00:04:09,497 --> 00:04:10,662
Yeah, totally.
105
00:04:14,431 --> 00:04:17,031
So anyway, I got the, uh,
mortgage thing here.
106
00:04:17,099 --> 00:04:18,664
You just gotta sign next
to the little tabbies.
107
00:04:18,731 --> 00:04:20,231
All right, well, did you
read through it this time?
108
00:04:20,299 --> 00:04:21,364
No.
109
00:04:22,632 --> 00:04:24,030
I paid the guy to put
the tabbies there
110
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:25,098
so we wouldn't have to read it.
111
00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:26,198
OK, I'm gonna go make a copy.
112
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,165
I'll be right back.
113
00:04:30,134 --> 00:04:31,398
Oh, God, I'm stuffed.
114
00:04:31,466 --> 00:04:32,833
Carrie took me out for sushi.
115
00:04:32,901 --> 00:04:36,833
Oh, great. That's one less
time she begs me to go.
116
00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:39,000
Raw fish not as
good as cooked cow.
117
00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:41,868
Hey!
118
00:04:41,934 --> 00:04:43,668
It's Carrie's work husband
119
00:04:43,736 --> 00:04:44,901
and her real husband
120
00:04:44,969 --> 00:04:46,068
in the same place.
121
00:04:52,037 --> 00:04:53,502
Work husband?
122
00:04:53,570 --> 00:04:55,570
Oh, yeah. It's just this
joke they got going here
123
00:04:55,638 --> 00:04:56,603
'cause we're always together.
124
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:57,703
I'm her work husband.
125
00:04:57,771 --> 00:04:58,738
She's my work wife.
126
00:04:58,805 --> 00:04:59,704
It's stupid.
127
00:04:59,772 --> 00:05:01,470
No, no, it's...
128
00:05:01,538 --> 00:05:03,705
It's funny. It's funny.
129
00:05:03,773 --> 00:05:05,871
All right, honey. Here ya go.
130
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,238
OK. All right.
131
00:05:07,305 --> 00:05:09,872
Now we gotta go set up the
conference room for a meeting.
132
00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:11,106
The millionaires will riot
133
00:05:11,174 --> 00:05:12,439
if they don't get
their free muffins.
134
00:05:12,507 --> 00:05:13,439
OK. OK.
135
00:05:13,507 --> 00:05:14,440
Curt: It's nice to meet you.
136
00:05:14,507 --> 00:05:15,405
You, too.
137
00:05:34,176 --> 00:05:35,377
Douglas.
138
00:05:35,444 --> 00:05:36,742
Hey, Arthur.
139
00:05:39,378 --> 00:05:41,311
What's troubling you, Son?
140
00:05:41,378 --> 00:05:42,477
You never looked heavier.
141
00:05:51,047 --> 00:05:51,978
Thanks.
142
00:05:53,247 --> 00:05:55,246
Come here.
143
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:56,546
Well, there's this...
144
00:05:56,581 --> 00:05:59,713
There's this guy that
Carrie works with.
145
00:05:59,780 --> 00:06:01,280
Nothing really bad's going on.
146
00:06:01,348 --> 00:06:03,215
Actually, he's gay.
147
00:06:03,281 --> 00:06:06,048
Ah, the homosexuals.
148
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:09,181
It's wonderful, the things
they've given to our culture.
149
00:06:09,249 --> 00:06:10,348
I'm a big fan.
150
00:06:12,482 --> 00:06:13,415
Can I finish?
151
00:06:13,483 --> 00:06:14,382
All right.
152
00:06:14,450 --> 00:06:15,449
So anyway,
153
00:06:15,516 --> 00:06:18,249
she and this guy got
this thing going.
154
00:06:18,317 --> 00:06:19,683
They're really close,
155
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,450
and they have all
these inside jokes.
156
00:06:21,517 --> 00:06:22,450
They go out for sushi,
157
00:06:22,517 --> 00:06:23,484
and it turns out
the people there
158
00:06:23,552 --> 00:06:25,450
call him her work husband.
159
00:06:25,517 --> 00:06:26,685
I mean, what's with that?
160
00:06:26,752 --> 00:06:28,884
Come on. It's innocent fun.
161
00:06:28,952 --> 00:06:31,385
I actually had a work wife once.
162
00:06:31,453 --> 00:06:33,185
Really? Mm-hmm.
163
00:06:33,253 --> 00:06:35,552
Her name was Phyllis Schneck.
164
00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:38,220
She worked with me
in a crab cannery
165
00:06:38,286 --> 00:06:40,019
in Glen Burnie, Maryland.
166
00:06:40,087 --> 00:06:41,853
All righty.
167
00:06:41,921 --> 00:06:43,720
Every morning, I would
kiss my real wife good-bye
168
00:06:43,788 --> 00:06:45,520
and head to work.
169
00:06:45,588 --> 00:06:46,754
Down at the cannery,
170
00:06:46,822 --> 00:06:48,987
Phyllis and I would laugh
our heads off all day,
171
00:06:49,056 --> 00:06:53,721
you know, real
inside crab humor.
172
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:54,855
Then, one day,
173
00:06:54,923 --> 00:06:56,422
at the company picnic,
174
00:06:56,489 --> 00:06:59,022
we hopped off into the forest
175
00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:01,189
in a potato sack
176
00:07:01,257 --> 00:07:03,589
and made love like rabbits.
177
00:07:09,424 --> 00:07:10,857
Now that I think
about it, Douglas,
178
00:07:10,925 --> 00:07:15,258
gay or not, new guy
spells bad news.
179
00:07:15,326 --> 00:07:17,425
The new guy's so cute, isn't he?
180
00:07:17,493 --> 00:07:18,859
He's OK.
181
00:07:18,927 --> 00:07:20,626
I doubt he'll be
doing any Alpo ads
182
00:07:20,693 --> 00:07:22,259
anytime soon.
183
00:07:22,327 --> 00:07:24,593
You're so good with
the Frisbee, Pee-wee.
184
00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:26,627
You're so good with the Frisbee.
185
00:07:26,694 --> 00:07:27,560
We get it.
186
00:07:27,628 --> 00:07:29,027
He's good with the Frisbee.
187
00:07:38,131 --> 00:07:39,495
Hey. Hey.
188
00:07:39,563 --> 00:07:41,130
How was the rest
of your work day?
189
00:07:41,197 --> 00:07:42,463
Fine.
190
00:07:42,531 --> 00:07:44,030
Just fine? Come on,
give me more than that.
191
00:07:44,098 --> 00:07:45,196
What?
192
00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:47,297
Come on. I want to be
part of your work life.
193
00:07:48,732 --> 00:07:51,431
Do you also want to pick out
my outfit for tomorrow?
194
00:07:51,499 --> 00:07:52,497
Look, I'm serious.
195
00:07:52,565 --> 00:07:53,799
Like, what's up
with the weird guy
196
00:07:53,866 --> 00:07:55,165
who kept staring
at the brownies?
197
00:07:55,233 --> 00:07:56,632
Vanveen? Yes!
198
00:07:56,699 --> 00:07:59,266
What the hell is
up with Vanveen?
199
00:07:59,334 --> 00:08:02,733
Give me the what-what
on Vanveen.
200
00:08:02,801 --> 00:08:03,666
Nothing.
201
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:06,200
Just a very annoying
man who's 4'11".
202
00:08:06,267 --> 00:08:07,467
Why do you care?
203
00:08:07,535 --> 00:08:10,168
Well, excuse me for
wanting to know
204
00:08:10,235 --> 00:08:11,001
as much about your life
205
00:08:11,068 --> 00:08:13,368
as your work husband does.
206
00:08:13,436 --> 00:08:15,002
What? That's right.
207
00:08:15,070 --> 00:08:16,703
You didn't think I'd find
out you're a bigamist,
208
00:08:16,769 --> 00:08:20,001
did you, Utah?
209
00:08:20,069 --> 00:08:20,868
Doug, are you
actually telling me
210
00:08:20,936 --> 00:08:22,970
you're upset because
I have a friend
211
00:08:23,037 --> 00:08:23,970
who people, as a dumb joke,
212
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:24,970
call my work husband?
213
00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:25,970
No, you know, you're right.
214
00:08:26,037 --> 00:08:27,104
Why am I getting upset? Really.
215
00:08:27,171 --> 00:08:28,104
You just have another husband.
That's all.
216
00:08:28,170 --> 00:08:29,904
Doug, Curt is gay.
217
00:08:29,972 --> 00:08:32,370
What part of gay do
you not understand?
218
00:08:32,438 --> 00:08:35,538
I understand plenty
parts of gay.
219
00:08:35,605 --> 00:08:36,838
Do you, Doug? Yeah, I do.
220
00:08:36,905 --> 00:08:39,205
Well, you're being ridiculous.
221
00:08:39,273 --> 00:08:41,238
Look, even if there
is no sex involved,
222
00:08:41,306 --> 00:08:42,272
how would you like it
223
00:08:42,340 --> 00:08:45,639
if I had a work
wife at IPS, huh?
224
00:08:45,707 --> 00:08:47,106
What if Wanda the
dispatcher and I
225
00:08:47,174 --> 00:08:49,040
just started spending
all this time together?
226
00:08:49,108 --> 00:08:51,640
Wanda never leaves her desk.
227
00:08:51,708 --> 00:08:54,108
She's 400 pounds.
228
00:08:54,175 --> 00:08:55,074
Of fun.
229
00:08:55,141 --> 00:08:56,775
All right, you know what?
230
00:08:56,842 --> 00:08:59,775
I am done with
this conversation.
231
00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:00,875
Whether he's gay or not,
232
00:09:00,943 --> 00:09:02,675
bottom line is you
found somebody at work
233
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:03,743
you're sharing all
these things with
234
00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:05,376
that you should be
sharing with me.
235
00:09:05,444 --> 00:09:07,543
You guys have all
these inside jokes.
236
00:09:07,611 --> 00:09:09,477
You got all this
stuff in common.
237
00:09:09,545 --> 00:09:11,611
You go out for
lunch, you hang out.
238
00:09:11,678 --> 00:09:15,443
You just described your exact
relationship with Deacon.
239
00:09:17,212 --> 00:09:18,845
No, I didn't.
240
00:09:18,913 --> 00:09:20,712
Think about it.
241
00:09:20,780 --> 00:09:23,045
Have I ever once baked
brownies for Deacon?
242
00:09:23,113 --> 00:09:24,713
No, but you made him
that big sandwich,
243
00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:28,479
and you told me how much you
enjoyed watching him eat it.
244
00:09:28,546 --> 00:09:30,313
OK, that was a new kind
of ham I discovered.
245
00:09:30,381 --> 00:09:31,847
It's totally different.
246
00:09:31,915 --> 00:09:35,048
And you guys have a
million inside jokes.
247
00:09:35,115 --> 00:09:36,614
I mean, I come home, you
two are on the couch...
248
00:09:36,682 --> 00:09:37,948
"Hey, Eddie, Eddie."
249
00:09:38,016 --> 00:09:40,715
I mean, I don't know what the
hell you guys talk about.
250
00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:43,215
So, admit it.
251
00:09:43,282 --> 00:09:44,549
There are many times
252
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:46,083
you'd rather be spending time
with Deacon than with me.
253
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:47,516
So whether you like it or not,
254
00:09:47,584 --> 00:09:49,549
he is your work wife.
255
00:09:52,652 --> 00:09:53,583
You're ugly.
256
00:09:56,285 --> 00:09:57,851
What's up, man?
257
00:09:57,919 --> 00:09:58,985
What's up?
258
00:10:07,221 --> 00:10:11,020
♪ Oh, you are everything
259
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:13,954
♪ And everything is you
260
00:10:14,021 --> 00:10:17,554
♪ Oh, you are everything
261
00:10:17,621 --> 00:10:20,688
♪ And everything is you
262
00:10:20,756 --> 00:10:24,422
♪ Oh, you are everything
263
00:10:24,489 --> 00:10:27,723
♪ And everything is you
264
00:10:31,991 --> 00:10:34,124
♪ How can I forget
265
00:10:34,192 --> 00:10:38,091
♪ When each face that I see ♪
266
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:41,458
♪ Brings back memories
267
00:10:41,526 --> 00:10:46,860
♪ Of being with you
268
00:10:46,927 --> 00:10:49,426
♪ I just can't go on
269
00:10:49,494 --> 00:10:52,227
♪ Living life as I do
270
00:10:52,294 --> 00:10:54,626
♪ Comparing each girl to...
271
00:10:56,862 --> 00:10:59,128
You wanna catch a movie tonight?
272
00:10:59,196 --> 00:11:00,528
Try and stop me.
273
00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:04,762
Look at the ball, Pee-wee.
Ready?
274
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:05,762
Go get it.
275
00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:08,528
Oh, isn't he great?
I just love him.
276
00:11:08,596 --> 00:11:09,930
By the way, I was reading
a scathing piece
277
00:11:09,998 --> 00:11:11,930
in the op-ed section
of today's Times.
278
00:11:11,998 --> 00:11:13,329
Did you happen to see it?
No, I didn't.
279
00:11:13,397 --> 00:11:14,163
Oh, who's a good boy?
280
00:11:14,231 --> 00:11:15,531
You're a good boy.
281
00:11:15,598 --> 00:11:17,164
You're a good boy. Ready?
282
00:11:17,232 --> 00:11:18,996
Go get it again.
283
00:11:19,064 --> 00:11:19,698
It was saying we haven't had
284
00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:20,931
a decent secretary of commerce
285
00:11:20,999 --> 00:11:22,698
in over a decade. Oh, real...
286
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:23,898
Oh, who's smarter than you?
287
00:11:23,965 --> 00:11:25,065
Nobody.
288
00:11:25,133 --> 00:11:26,531
Nobody's smarter than you.
Ready?
289
00:11:26,599 --> 00:11:27,499
Look at it.
290
00:11:27,567 --> 00:11:29,332
Look at it.
291
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:30,766
Go get it.
292
00:11:31,867 --> 00:11:33,200
Arthur: Come here! Come here!
293
00:11:34,634 --> 00:11:35,934
Give me that ball, Pee-wee!
294
00:11:36,002 --> 00:11:37,400
Give it to me!
295
00:11:40,703 --> 00:11:42,600
I believe this is yours.
296
00:11:44,468 --> 00:11:46,701
Carrie: Curt, do
not ask him out.
297
00:11:46,769 --> 00:11:48,635
Because he's straight.
298
00:11:48,703 --> 00:11:51,169
He is.
299
00:11:51,237 --> 00:11:52,569
All right, good luck to you.
300
00:11:52,637 --> 00:11:54,169
Hey, call me after
the train wreck.
301
00:11:54,237 --> 00:11:55,403
OK. Bye.
302
00:11:56,971 --> 00:11:58,102
It's wonderful to
see how you kids
303
00:11:58,170 --> 00:12:00,536
keep your marriage so fresh.
304
00:12:00,604 --> 00:12:02,137
Ha ha ha ha ha.
305
00:12:02,205 --> 00:12:04,138
Listen, the mortgage guy called.
306
00:12:04,206 --> 00:12:06,571
He wants us to meet him in
his office at 3:30 tomorrow
307
00:12:06,639 --> 00:12:07,738
to sign the final papers.
308
00:12:07,806 --> 00:12:08,738
Doug: Great.
309
00:12:08,806 --> 00:12:09,772
In other news, you were right.
310
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:10,772
Deacon is my work wife,
311
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:11,773
and I'm good with that.
312
00:12:11,841 --> 00:12:13,173
So there you go.
313
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,740
Are you still on this thing?
314
00:12:14,807 --> 00:12:16,272
I'm not on or off anything, OK?
315
00:12:16,340 --> 00:12:17,640
It's just fact.
316
00:12:17,708 --> 00:12:19,141
You found somebody you like
to spend all your time with,
317
00:12:19,209 --> 00:12:20,340
and so have I.
318
00:12:20,408 --> 00:12:21,440
Don't be a moron.
319
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:24,474
I never said I wanted to
spend all my time with Curt.
320
00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:26,574
It's fine. You guys can
hang out, eat sushi.
321
00:12:26,641 --> 00:12:27,909
Deacon and I are
going out tonight
322
00:12:27,977 --> 00:12:29,709
to explore one of our
common interests,
323
00:12:29,777 --> 00:12:32,110
the cinema of Mr. Vin Diesel.
324
00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:34,443
OK, you know what?
325
00:12:39,511 --> 00:12:41,477
Hey, Curt, it's me again.
326
00:12:41,544 --> 00:12:44,311
Hey, do you want to go dancing
or something tonight?
327
00:12:44,379 --> 00:12:45,978
OK, great.
328
00:12:46,046 --> 00:12:48,045
So I'll see you in, what,
like, a half hour?
329
00:12:48,113 --> 00:12:49,544
All right, hon. Bye-bye.
330
00:12:51,613 --> 00:12:52,812
Ya happy?
331
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:53,612
Thrilled.
332
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:55,079
It's better this way.
333
00:12:55,147 --> 00:12:55,946
Now you don't have
to pretend to care
334
00:12:56,014 --> 00:12:58,413
about sports and ground beef,
335
00:12:58,481 --> 00:12:59,480
and I don't have
to pretend to care
336
00:12:59,547 --> 00:13:00,514
about your new shoes
337
00:13:00,582 --> 00:13:03,214
and your feelings.
338
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,181
You know what? Maybe
I do wanna spend
339
00:13:05,248 --> 00:13:07,414
every second of
my day with Curt.
340
00:13:07,481 --> 00:13:08,615
Feels good to admit it, right?
341
00:13:08,683 --> 00:13:10,014
Feels fantastic.
342
00:13:10,082 --> 00:13:11,015
Would you do me a favor?
343
00:13:11,150 --> 00:13:12,414
Please hand me my
Michael Jordan cologne.
344
00:13:13,651 --> 00:13:14,882
Thank you. Mm-hmm.
345
00:13:14,950 --> 00:13:15,950
Here we go.
346
00:13:16,018 --> 00:13:16,982
Wow, wow.
347
00:13:17,050 --> 00:13:18,616
I like to smell good for my man.
348
00:13:18,684 --> 00:13:19,650
OK.
349
00:13:21,251 --> 00:13:21,883
Zip me, please.
350
00:13:21,951 --> 00:13:23,618
Not a problem.
351
00:13:23,685 --> 00:13:24,918
Zip me, please.
352
00:13:29,219 --> 00:13:30,518
What, your fly?
353
00:13:30,586 --> 00:13:31,519
That's right. My fly.
354
00:13:31,587 --> 00:13:33,152
You can zip your own fly.
355
00:13:33,220 --> 00:13:35,086
That is such a slap in the face.
356
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,686
Hey, you think Vin
Diesel's full name
357
00:13:42,754 --> 00:13:45,254
is Vincent Diesel?
358
00:13:45,322 --> 00:13:47,022
I think the name is
totally made-up.
359
00:13:47,089 --> 00:13:47,788
Really?
360
00:13:47,856 --> 00:13:48,887
So you don't think
out there somewhere
361
00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:51,122
there's a very proud
Sam and Edna Diesel?
362
00:13:54,690 --> 00:13:55,923
Doug?
363
00:13:55,990 --> 00:13:56,889
Hey, Carrie.
364
00:13:56,957 --> 00:13:59,023
Hello.
365
00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:00,189
What are you doing here?
366
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:04,091
I told you I wanted
to try this place.
367
00:14:04,158 --> 00:14:05,258
What are you doing here?
368
00:14:05,325 --> 00:14:09,524
Sorry, I didn't realize
you owned El Diablo's.
369
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,458
Waitress: Can I
start you guys off
370
00:14:12,526 --> 00:14:13,826
with something to drink?
371
00:14:13,893 --> 00:14:15,259
Yeah, I'll have a margarita.
372
00:14:15,327 --> 00:14:16,359
Oh, do you wanna share one?
373
00:14:16,426 --> 00:14:17,358
I don't drink that much.
374
00:14:17,426 --> 00:14:19,592
Oh, sure. We'll
share a margarita.
375
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,726
Oh, and Deacon and I will
share a margarita as well.
376
00:14:26,062 --> 00:14:27,760
No, we won't.
377
00:14:27,828 --> 00:14:29,228
Fine, then we'll share 2.
378
00:14:29,296 --> 00:14:30,595
OK, thanks.
379
00:14:32,062 --> 00:14:33,929
So, what did you
guys do tonight?
380
00:14:33,996 --> 00:14:35,328
Saw a movie. Loved it.
381
00:14:35,429 --> 00:14:37,162
Lot of explosions
and loud noises.
382
00:14:37,230 --> 00:14:39,196
Not for you two.
383
00:14:39,264 --> 00:14:40,697
So how was your
little dance party?
384
00:14:40,765 --> 00:14:41,996
It was great.
385
00:14:42,064 --> 00:14:43,597
Curt's a really great dancer.
386
00:14:43,664 --> 00:14:44,597
He's in great shape
387
00:14:44,664 --> 00:14:46,264
'cause he works out a lot.
388
00:14:46,332 --> 00:14:46,997
Oh, wow.
389
00:14:47,065 --> 00:14:48,063
Jeez.
390
00:14:48,130 --> 00:14:49,598
Well, Curt, what do you bench?
391
00:14:49,666 --> 00:14:51,798
Oh, um, about 180.
392
00:14:51,866 --> 00:14:53,264
180. Deac, how about you?
393
00:14:53,332 --> 00:14:54,532
I don't know. Like, 210.
394
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:55,631
210?
395
00:14:55,699 --> 00:14:56,932
Hmm.
396
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,632
That's slightly more than Curt.
397
00:15:01,266 --> 00:15:02,332
Wow, Doug.
398
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,133
Your work wife can bench more
399
00:15:04,201 --> 00:15:06,199
than my work husband.
400
00:15:12,869 --> 00:15:13,968
Um, you know,
401
00:15:14,036 --> 00:15:16,501
I think I'm just gonna
go check on our drinks.
402
00:15:20,570 --> 00:15:21,635
Work wife?
403
00:15:23,071 --> 00:15:24,236
Yeah, Curt is her work husband.
404
00:15:24,303 --> 00:15:25,504
You're my work wife.
405
00:15:25,570 --> 00:15:28,370
Do I like pinto beans
or black beans?
406
00:15:30,239 --> 00:15:32,038
Work wife?
407
00:15:32,104 --> 00:15:34,238
Don't worry about it. It's fine.
408
00:15:34,305 --> 00:15:35,572
Oh, lookee here.
409
00:15:35,639 --> 00:15:37,406
Looks like Curt's found
himself another date.
410
00:15:37,473 --> 00:15:38,805
Carrie: Oh.
411
00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:39,739
Perfect.
412
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:41,038
I was having a great
night with him
413
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,105
until you showed up.
414
00:15:42,173 --> 00:15:44,806
Work wife?!
415
00:15:44,874 --> 00:15:45,807
It's nothing.
416
00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:46,973
Don't make a scene.
417
00:15:49,374 --> 00:15:50,773
I... I don't know what the
hell's going on between you two,
418
00:15:50,842 --> 00:15:52,141
but don't drag me into this,
419
00:15:52,209 --> 00:15:54,008
and don't call me
your work wife.
420
00:15:55,709 --> 00:15:59,241
If anything, you're
my work wife.
421
00:16:03,410 --> 00:16:05,009
Pee-wee.
422
00:16:05,077 --> 00:16:07,076
Who's the best Pee-wee?
423
00:16:07,143 --> 00:16:08,577
You're the best Pee-wee.
424
00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:10,777
Woman: Excuse me?
425
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:11,811
Do you know what time it is?
426
00:16:11,878 --> 00:16:13,043
It's, uh...
427
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:22,712
It's a quarter past
the hour of 2:00.
428
00:16:22,779 --> 00:16:24,879
Thanks.
429
00:16:24,946 --> 00:16:27,579
May I assume you walk
dogs professionally?
430
00:16:27,647 --> 00:16:28,446
Yup.
431
00:16:28,514 --> 00:16:30,813
Would you happen to
have any openings
432
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,014
in your group?
433
00:16:32,082 --> 00:16:34,114
Sure. Always room for one more.
434
00:16:35,581 --> 00:16:37,815
Uh, where's your dog?
435
00:16:37,882 --> 00:16:39,382
You're looking at him.
436
00:16:40,783 --> 00:16:42,182
Time to go, Arthur.
437
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:44,282
Actually, while you've
been heaping love
438
00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:45,716
on your precious Pee-wee,
439
00:16:45,783 --> 00:16:47,583
I made other arrangements.
440
00:16:47,651 --> 00:16:49,382
This striking young lady
441
00:16:49,450 --> 00:16:52,083
will be walking me henceforth.
442
00:16:52,152 --> 00:16:53,151
Arthur, are you actually saying
443
00:16:53,218 --> 00:16:55,317
that you're jealous of Pee-wee?
444
00:16:55,385 --> 00:16:57,418
Arthur, he's a dog.
You're a person.
445
00:16:57,486 --> 00:16:58,417
Spin it any way you want.
446
00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,719
It still stinks.
447
00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:01,884
Oh, come on, Arthur.
448
00:17:01,952 --> 00:17:03,485
You know I love walking you.
449
00:17:03,553 --> 00:17:04,485
Prove it.
450
00:17:04,553 --> 00:17:06,286
Either he goes or I go.
451
00:17:06,353 --> 00:17:08,286
Well, I gotta say
Pee-wee's owners
452
00:17:08,354 --> 00:17:10,653
do pay me slightly more than...
453
00:17:10,721 --> 00:17:12,053
yours.
454
00:17:12,121 --> 00:17:13,987
Fine. I'm out of here.
455
00:17:14,054 --> 00:17:16,021
Congratulations, Pee-wee.
456
00:17:16,089 --> 00:17:18,354
Enjoy it till she
tosses you aside
457
00:17:18,422 --> 00:17:19,821
for the next young pup!
458
00:17:19,889 --> 00:17:21,422
Oh.
459
00:17:23,923 --> 00:17:27,156
Well... I'm yours.
460
00:17:27,224 --> 00:17:29,322
Which direction are we going?
461
00:17:29,390 --> 00:17:30,957
I'm sorry.
462
00:17:31,024 --> 00:17:32,990
I don't walk people.
463
00:17:33,058 --> 00:17:34,956
Uh-huh.
464
00:17:35,024 --> 00:17:38,057
I wish you'd told
me that before.
465
00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:39,525
Holly!
466
00:17:40,858 --> 00:17:41,992
Man: So, we're offering you
467
00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:43,491
a no-cost, 30-year refinance,
468
00:17:43,559 --> 00:17:45,192
and your last installment
469
00:17:45,260 --> 00:17:50,726
will be due in November of 2032.
470
00:17:50,794 --> 00:17:52,393
Before you sign
this, look it over,
471
00:17:52,461 --> 00:17:54,161
see if you have any
more questions.
472
00:17:54,228 --> 00:17:55,627
I just need to say
hi to a camp friend
473
00:17:55,695 --> 00:17:57,161
who stopped by to visit.
474
00:18:02,096 --> 00:18:05,928
Thanks to you, Curt
totally avoided me today.
475
00:18:05,996 --> 00:18:07,763
He didn't even get
me my Starbucks
476
00:18:07,830 --> 00:18:09,262
like he usually does.
477
00:18:10,264 --> 00:18:12,164
Deacon called me an a-hole.
478
00:18:15,465 --> 00:18:17,064
Question for you,
479
00:18:17,131 --> 00:18:19,164
do you think it's wrong that
we're about to sign a mortgage
480
00:18:19,231 --> 00:18:20,764
to live in a house
together for 30 years,
481
00:18:20,831 --> 00:18:21,830
and it just came out this week
482
00:18:21,898 --> 00:18:23,830
that we've nothing in common?
483
00:18:23,898 --> 00:18:25,698
We have stuff in common.
484
00:18:25,766 --> 00:18:26,698
Oh, yeah.
485
00:18:26,833 --> 00:18:27,966
We both prefer the
company of other people.
486
00:18:28,033 --> 00:18:29,498
We nailed that.
487
00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:32,066
We have stuff in common.
488
00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:33,067
Right?
489
00:18:33,134 --> 00:18:34,067
I don't know.
490
00:18:34,134 --> 00:18:35,133
What's all this stuff we have?
491
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,633
Well, OK, for one thing,
492
00:18:36,701 --> 00:18:38,667
we have a great sex life.
493
00:18:38,734 --> 00:18:40,333
OK, but what about when
the sex goes away?
494
00:18:40,402 --> 00:18:42,234
Maybe it won't go away.
Oh, please.
495
00:18:42,302 --> 00:18:43,068
Do you realize how brittle
496
00:18:43,136 --> 00:18:45,769
your bones will be in 30 years?
497
00:18:45,836 --> 00:18:47,502
I'll crush you to dust.
498
00:18:47,569 --> 00:18:49,335
What if we're just
499
00:18:49,403 --> 00:18:50,536
sitting across from each other
500
00:18:50,602 --> 00:18:52,103
30 years from now,
501
00:18:52,171 --> 00:18:53,202
bored to tears,
502
00:18:53,271 --> 00:18:55,702
your father's, like, 105,
503
00:18:55,770 --> 00:18:57,104
and he's hooked up to some
machine in the kitchen,
504
00:18:57,171 --> 00:18:59,670
and I can't even get
at the waffle maker.
505
00:18:59,738 --> 00:19:00,503
That a pretty picture
for ya, huh?
506
00:19:00,571 --> 00:19:02,037
Doug, come on. This is stupid.
507
00:19:02,104 --> 00:19:03,738
We have a lot of
stuff in common,
508
00:19:03,806 --> 00:19:05,104
a lot.
509
00:19:05,172 --> 00:19:06,439
In fact, you know what?
510
00:19:06,506 --> 00:19:08,238
Why don't we each make a list
511
00:19:08,306 --> 00:19:09,639
of our 10 favorite things,
512
00:19:09,707 --> 00:19:12,172
and if we don't have
at least one match,
513
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,406
we do not sign these
mortgage papers.
514
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:16,240
Fine. OK.
515
00:19:19,509 --> 00:19:21,241
Actually, let's make it 20.
516
00:19:23,475 --> 00:19:24,941
Number 18.
517
00:19:25,009 --> 00:19:25,941
OK, we got 3 more shots
518
00:19:26,009 --> 00:19:26,942
at making a match here.
519
00:19:27,010 --> 00:19:28,475
What do you got?
520
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,043
Sunsets. Sunsets?!
521
00:19:30,110 --> 00:19:31,742
What? What do you have?
522
00:19:31,809 --> 00:19:32,910
New car smell.
523
00:19:32,976 --> 00:19:34,543
What?! I can't believe you!
524
00:19:34,610 --> 00:19:35,476
You see a freakin' sunset
525
00:19:35,543 --> 00:19:36,576
every day of your life!
526
00:19:36,610 --> 00:19:38,310
New car smell. Now
that's special!
527
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:39,744
All right, all right.
Let's just calm down.
528
00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:42,077
We have 2 more left, all right?
529
00:19:42,144 --> 00:19:43,078
All right, number 19.
530
00:19:43,145 --> 00:19:44,744
What do you got?
531
00:19:44,812 --> 00:19:45,745
A good book.
532
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:51,179
Do you wanna live
with me or not?!
533
00:19:51,247 --> 00:19:52,245
Yes, I wanna live with you.
534
00:19:52,313 --> 00:19:53,946
I love you, you idiot.
535
00:19:54,014 --> 00:19:55,213
Well, I love you, too!
536
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:55,980
Well, if you loved me,
537
00:19:56,047 --> 00:19:57,246
you'd wanna go salsa dancing
538
00:19:57,314 --> 00:19:58,413
once in a while.
539
00:19:58,481 --> 00:19:59,180
Well, if you loved me,
540
00:19:59,247 --> 00:20:00,881
you'd enjoy a nice
can of SpaghettiOs
541
00:20:00,948 --> 00:20:02,081
from time to time.
542
00:20:02,148 --> 00:20:03,415
Well, if you loved me,
543
00:20:03,482 --> 00:20:05,081
you wouldn't have used 2 slots
544
00:20:05,149 --> 00:20:07,381
for SpaghettiOs and Beefaroni.
545
00:20:08,683 --> 00:20:09,614
They're different.
546
00:20:09,682 --> 00:20:11,981
If you loved me,
you'd know that!
547
00:20:14,017 --> 00:20:16,149
OK, you folks ready to
sign that mortgage?
548
00:20:16,217 --> 00:20:18,049
Not unless our number 20s match.
549
00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:19,517
We got a whole thing going here.
550
00:20:19,584 --> 00:20:21,217
All right, what do
you got, sister?
551
00:20:24,719 --> 00:20:26,284
You know what?
552
00:20:26,352 --> 00:20:29,052
I bet you our number 20s match.
553
00:20:30,419 --> 00:20:32,019
What? That's right.
554
00:20:32,087 --> 00:20:34,553
And even if they don't,
555
00:20:34,620 --> 00:20:35,718
it doesn't matter.
556
00:20:40,821 --> 00:20:41,921
Man: Great.
557
00:20:41,988 --> 00:20:43,653
Well, we'll get
this all processed,
558
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,154
and we'll mail you
guys out a copy.
559
00:20:45,222 --> 00:20:46,153
OK, great.
560
00:20:46,221 --> 00:20:47,188
Well, thanks for your help.
561
00:20:47,256 --> 00:20:48,321
Thank you very much. See ya.
562
00:20:48,389 --> 00:20:49,488
Bye. Bye.
563
00:20:53,956 --> 00:20:56,289
You really mean that?
It doesn't matter?
564
00:20:56,357 --> 00:21:00,456
Doug, you can't put
this on a list.
565
00:21:02,024 --> 00:21:03,091
Just for kicks,
566
00:21:03,159 --> 00:21:05,723
do you wanna say what
we had for number 20?
567
00:21:05,791 --> 00:21:07,591
OK.
568
00:21:07,658 --> 00:21:08,891
You first.
569
00:21:09,758 --> 00:21:10,992
Chamomile tea.
570
00:21:11,059 --> 00:21:12,125
Porno. Let's go.
571
00:21:16,259 --> 00:21:19,393
So I'm out of the nail place
for, like, 5 minutes,
572
00:21:19,461 --> 00:21:21,860
and the nail polish on
my thumbnail peels off.
573
00:21:21,928 --> 00:21:23,427
So I go back, and I'm like,
574
00:21:23,495 --> 00:21:24,726
"Can you fix this please?"
575
00:21:24,795 --> 00:21:26,460
And Susie...
576
00:21:26,528 --> 00:21:29,261
♪ ...You are everything
577
00:21:29,328 --> 00:21:32,261
♪ And everything is you
578
00:21:32,329 --> 00:21:36,062
♪ Oh, you are everything
579
00:21:36,130 --> 00:21:37,262
♪ And every...
580
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,596
I love you.
581
00:21:39,663 --> 00:21:41,997
Aww.
582
00:21:42,065 --> 00:21:44,963
But the main problem with the
Socialist Party in the 1940s
583
00:21:45,031 --> 00:21:46,430
is that they didn't
tailor their message
584
00:21:46,498 --> 00:21:47,763
to the common working man.
585
00:21:47,831 --> 00:21:49,198
Everything was very...
586
00:21:49,265 --> 00:21:51,832
♪ ...You are everything
587
00:21:51,899 --> 00:21:55,099
♪ And everything is you
588
00:21:55,166 --> 00:21:58,833
♪ Oh, you are everything
589
00:21:58,900 --> 00:21:59,465
♪ And...
39120
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