Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:34,253 --> 00:00:38,052
Doug: Follow the break.
Follow the break.
2
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,818
Oh, good Lord, I am gifted.
3
00:00:43,284 --> 00:00:44,184
Hey, hey, hey, come here.
Come here.
4
00:00:44,251 --> 00:00:45,217
What? Come here, quick.
5
00:00:45,283 --> 00:00:46,184
Come here. Come over here. What?
6
00:00:46,250 --> 00:00:47,848
Look.
7
00:00:47,916 --> 00:00:50,914
It's me bowling.
8
00:00:50,982 --> 00:00:55,281
OK. Glad I swallowed
my gum for that.
9
00:00:55,349 --> 00:00:57,946
I had Deke videotape
my stroke, you know,
10
00:00:58,013 --> 00:01:00,412
to help me get ready for the
tournament this weekend.
11
00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:01,945
You want to watch it
with frame advance?
12
00:01:02,011 --> 00:01:04,411
Do I!
13
00:01:04,479 --> 00:01:06,044
OK, ball back...
14
00:01:06,112 --> 00:01:07,477
plant...
15
00:01:07,545 --> 00:01:08,776
release...
16
00:01:08,844 --> 00:01:09,843
follow through.
17
00:01:09,910 --> 00:01:10,876
Whoa!
18
00:01:10,944 --> 00:01:12,242
What? What?
19
00:01:12,309 --> 00:01:15,475
Looks like somebody needs to
wear a belt when they bowl.
20
00:01:17,242 --> 00:01:18,307
Oh, you're right.
21
00:01:18,375 --> 00:01:20,905
Little too much alley
on display right there.
22
00:01:22,806 --> 00:01:24,240
It's weird. I've never really...
23
00:01:24,306 --> 00:01:26,871
seen myself from
that angle before.
24
00:01:26,938 --> 00:01:30,236
Well, I have had the
pleasure, so offy.
25
00:01:31,804 --> 00:01:33,337
So what's in the bag?
26
00:01:33,404 --> 00:01:36,068
What's in the bag?
Oh, just our future.
27
00:01:36,136 --> 00:01:38,268
Does our future include
any sort of chicken?
28
00:01:38,336 --> 00:01:40,500
'Cause I'm very, very hungry.
29
00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:43,300
Sorry. But get this.
Mr. Kaplan, as in,
30
00:01:43,368 --> 00:01:45,998
king of the whole friggin'
law firm Mr. Kaplan,
31
00:01:46,067 --> 00:01:49,397
is getting ready to make
me his new secretary.
32
00:01:49,465 --> 00:01:51,664
Oh, come on. That guy's
been dangling that job
33
00:01:51,731 --> 00:01:53,362
in front of you for 2 years.
34
00:01:53,430 --> 00:01:56,463
But he hasn't seen these.
35
00:01:59,929 --> 00:02:02,393
Toy Dog: Please rub my tummy!
36
00:02:04,661 --> 00:02:07,092
I think you would have had a
better shot with a hooker.
37
00:02:11,592 --> 00:02:12,492
These are for his son.
38
00:02:12,559 --> 00:02:14,324
He has a 4-year-old from
his second marriage.
39
00:02:14,392 --> 00:02:15,358
His wife is out of town,
40
00:02:15,424 --> 00:02:16,790
so he asked me if I
would watch his son
41
00:02:16,858 --> 00:02:17,923
in the office for a couple days,
42
00:02:17,991 --> 00:02:20,222
and I said I would be delighted.
43
00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:21,755
But you hate kids.
44
00:02:21,823 --> 00:02:22,954
Not this one.
45
00:02:23,022 --> 00:02:23,921
I'm going to ride
this little putz
46
00:02:23,988 --> 00:02:25,754
all the way to the top.
47
00:02:25,821 --> 00:02:28,187
All right, well, have fun.
I'm going to meet the guys
48
00:02:28,255 --> 00:02:29,687
down at the bowling
alley to practice.
49
00:02:29,755 --> 00:02:30,652
Bup, bup, bup, bup. What?
50
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,619
Belt. Right-o.
51
00:02:39,984 --> 00:02:41,782
Hey, you guys catch the
Knick game last night?
52
00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:43,216
No. Who won?
53
00:02:43,282 --> 00:02:44,915
Jeez, you believe they let
the freakin' Grizzlies
54
00:02:44,983 --> 00:02:46,147
take them to overtime?
55
00:02:46,215 --> 00:02:47,814
Danny: Hello? Who won?
56
00:02:47,881 --> 00:02:49,779
The Knicks. Why
didn't you watch?
57
00:02:49,847 --> 00:02:51,646
Ah, I couldn't watch
anything last night.
58
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,912
Spence was hooking
up his new TiVo.
59
00:02:53,980 --> 00:02:55,246
What's that?
60
00:02:55,313 --> 00:02:57,611
Ah, it's some new
fancy digital thing
61
00:02:57,679 --> 00:02:59,610
that records television
shows for you.
62
00:02:59,678 --> 00:03:01,477
Except I'm not
allowed to touch it.
63
00:03:01,545 --> 00:03:02,776
But I'll tell you something.
64
00:03:02,844 --> 00:03:06,009
If he thinks he's getting near
my rice maker ever again,
65
00:03:06,077 --> 00:03:08,341
he's in for a rude surprise.
66
00:03:08,409 --> 00:03:10,774
Mark my words!
67
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:13,106
All right.
68
00:03:13,174 --> 00:03:15,839
Hey, guys.
69
00:03:15,907 --> 00:03:16,971
All: Hey! Hey, Tanya!
What's going on?
70
00:03:17,039 --> 00:03:18,838
Listen, I just wanted to
come over to say good-bye.
71
00:03:18,906 --> 00:03:21,570
Today was my last day at
the shoe rental counter.
72
00:03:22,438 --> 00:03:23,670
Where you off to from here?
73
00:03:23,738 --> 00:03:25,670
Well, I got a job at
Payless in Elmhurst.
74
00:03:25,738 --> 00:03:26,969
It's going to be so nice
75
00:03:27,036 --> 00:03:28,869
to work with new
shoes for a change.
76
00:03:28,936 --> 00:03:30,036
I hear that.
77
00:03:30,103 --> 00:03:31,135
But don't worry,
78
00:03:31,202 --> 00:03:32,034
you're going to
love the new girl.
79
00:03:32,102 --> 00:03:33,968
Her name's Denise.
She's very sweet.
80
00:03:39,033 --> 00:03:41,032
All: Yeah. All right. Great.
81
00:03:41,099 --> 00:03:42,298
Well, good luck in
the tournament.
82
00:03:42,366 --> 00:03:43,499
I'll see you guys.
83
00:03:43,567 --> 00:03:45,397
All: Take care. See you.
Bye-bye, T.
84
00:03:47,098 --> 00:03:48,697
Wow.
85
00:03:48,765 --> 00:03:49,963
It's like we just went
from a Rolls-Royce
86
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,195
to a Ford Fiesta.
87
00:03:52,263 --> 00:03:53,228
From now on,
88
00:03:53,296 --> 00:03:55,127
I'll be renting my
shoes over the phone.
89
00:03:56,829 --> 00:03:58,661
That snack-bar waitress
with the glass eye
90
00:03:58,728 --> 00:04:00,126
just moved up the charts.
91
00:04:00,194 --> 00:04:01,593
Yeah,
92
00:04:01,661 --> 00:04:02,459
so did the alley boy.
93
00:04:03,593 --> 00:04:05,158
You guys are being idiots, man.
94
00:04:05,226 --> 00:04:07,024
Just give her a break.
95
00:04:07,092 --> 00:04:08,024
Not until she gives me a break
96
00:04:08,092 --> 00:04:10,224
and starts wearing a paper bag.
97
00:04:12,558 --> 00:04:14,489
Hey, where are you going?
98
00:04:14,557 --> 00:04:15,722
I'm going over there
to talk to her, man.
99
00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:17,355
Think how she feels.
100
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,853
Usually there are guys lined up
like 3 deep to hit on Tanya.
101
00:04:19,921 --> 00:04:22,420
But now look... nothing, right?
102
00:04:22,488 --> 00:04:23,520
You know what I'm going to do?
103
00:04:23,587 --> 00:04:24,886
I'm going to go over
there and make her day.
104
00:04:28,486 --> 00:04:30,552
Oh, hi. Can I help you?
105
00:04:32,651 --> 00:04:35,882
So you must be this Denise
I keep hearing about.
106
00:04:35,950 --> 00:04:38,582
Yeah.
107
00:04:38,650 --> 00:04:40,382
Well, Denise, I'm
Doug, and on behalf
108
00:04:40,450 --> 00:04:45,214
of the entire Bowl-a-Rama
family of bowlers... welcome.
109
00:04:45,282 --> 00:04:45,979
Um...
110
00:04:46,047 --> 00:04:47,546
Thanks.
111
00:04:47,614 --> 00:04:49,480
Wow. Your eyes are killer.
112
00:04:49,548 --> 00:04:51,878
They're like the exact
same color as my ball.
113
00:05:03,409 --> 00:05:05,307
Hey, shoe question for you.
114
00:05:06,641 --> 00:05:08,140
Why do they make the half sizes
115
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,105
with the line under
the number, you know?
116
00:05:10,174 --> 00:05:12,673
Why not use just the old,
like, half symbol, you know?
117
00:05:12,740 --> 00:05:13,904
What's the deal with that?
118
00:05:13,972 --> 00:05:16,637
Um, I... I really don't know.
119
00:05:16,705 --> 00:05:17,771
It's crazy though, isn't it?
120
00:05:17,838 --> 00:05:21,570
Do you want to
rent shoes or not?
121
00:05:21,638 --> 00:05:24,202
No, I, uh, I have my own.
122
00:05:24,270 --> 00:05:27,335
Um, OK, well, I'll see you.
123
00:05:27,402 --> 00:05:30,633
Wow. She lit up like
a Christmas tree.
124
00:05:30,701 --> 00:05:32,632
Shutty.
125
00:05:41,498 --> 00:05:42,330
Hello, Carrie.
126
00:05:42,398 --> 00:05:45,829
Oh, hi, Mr. Kaplan.
And who is this?
127
00:05:45,897 --> 00:05:48,161
Is this the new lawyer
I've been hearing about?
128
00:05:48,229 --> 00:05:51,695
No, no, he's a few
years away from that.
129
00:05:51,762 --> 00:05:53,260
Jordan, this is Carrie.
130
00:05:53,329 --> 00:05:55,160
She's going to be your friend
for the next few days.
131
00:05:55,228 --> 00:05:57,392
Hi. Hi, Jordan.
132
00:05:57,460 --> 00:05:58,959
We're going to
have a lot of fun.
133
00:05:59,027 --> 00:06:00,125
Oh, if we only had some toys.
134
00:06:00,192 --> 00:06:02,791
Uh-oh, you found them.
Good work, buddy.
135
00:06:02,859 --> 00:06:05,089
All these toys you bought.
My goodness.
136
00:06:05,158 --> 00:06:06,656
Oh, I'm happy to do it.
137
00:06:06,723 --> 00:06:08,390
Is this the kind of
stuff he usually likes?
138
00:06:08,458 --> 00:06:09,988
To tell you the truth,
I have no idea.
139
00:06:10,056 --> 00:06:13,121
His mother handles the
day-to-day stuff.
140
00:06:13,188 --> 00:06:15,254
Anyway, Carrie, thanks a lot.
141
00:06:15,321 --> 00:06:16,486
You're a lifesaver.
142
00:06:16,554 --> 00:06:19,152
My own secretary wanted
no part of this.
143
00:06:19,220 --> 00:06:22,885
Just one more reason for me to
give old Marge the heave-ho.
144
00:06:22,953 --> 00:06:24,551
Well, that's none of my affair.
145
00:06:24,619 --> 00:06:26,317
All I know is I love kids,
146
00:06:26,385 --> 00:06:28,750
and I could have that desk
packed up in 5 minutes.
147
00:06:30,117 --> 00:06:31,283
Well, Jordan, just have fun.
148
00:06:31,351 --> 00:06:33,648
Daddy will come get
you at lunchtime.
149
00:06:33,715 --> 00:06:36,448
Do you like Indian food?
150
00:06:36,516 --> 00:06:38,014
We'll figure it out.
151
00:06:38,082 --> 00:06:39,014
See ya.
152
00:06:39,082 --> 00:06:41,480
OK. Bye-bye.
153
00:06:43,613 --> 00:06:46,346
Hey, what you got there?
154
00:06:46,413 --> 00:06:50,111
A train? Choo choo!
155
00:06:50,178 --> 00:06:51,010
Choo...
156
00:06:52,910 --> 00:06:54,342
Oh, I...
157
00:06:54,411 --> 00:06:56,908
I didn't mean for
you to stop, I...
158
00:06:56,975 --> 00:06:58,174
No, come on,
159
00:06:58,242 --> 00:06:59,875
you got to get the train
going to the next station,
160
00:06:59,942 --> 00:07:01,974
or it's going to... whoa. OK.
161
00:07:02,041 --> 00:07:04,373
I don't think that's the
next station, buddy.
162
00:07:04,441 --> 00:07:07,406
Ha ha. No, it's right here by Mr.
Teddy Bear.
163
00:07:07,473 --> 00:07:09,605
Choo... whoa. All right.
164
00:07:09,673 --> 00:07:11,337
Um...
165
00:07:11,405 --> 00:07:12,371
Jordan, honey,
166
00:07:12,439 --> 00:07:14,404
you see all these things
on the floor here?
167
00:07:14,471 --> 00:07:16,435
Those are your toys. Yeah.
168
00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:18,268
And these 2 things on my body?
169
00:07:18,336 --> 00:07:19,935
Those are not your toys.
170
00:07:20,003 --> 00:07:22,334
No, no, no, no. Ha ha.
171
00:07:22,402 --> 00:07:24,699
Hey, since you like
squeezing things,
172
00:07:24,767 --> 00:07:26,500
why don't we play
with this stuff, huh?
173
00:07:26,567 --> 00:07:28,033
This is good.
174
00:07:28,101 --> 00:07:30,499
It's fun. You can
make it into a ball,
175
00:07:30,566 --> 00:07:32,131
or a snake...
176
00:07:32,199 --> 00:07:33,397
OK.
177
00:07:39,397 --> 00:07:40,662
Coming.
178
00:07:43,562 --> 00:07:44,928
Oh, hey, Holly.
179
00:07:44,996 --> 00:07:45,995
Hey, Spence.
180
00:07:46,061 --> 00:07:47,460
Is my little guy
ready for his walk?
181
00:07:47,528 --> 00:07:48,761
Oh, more than ready.
182
00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:50,360
He had some Snausages last night
183
00:07:50,427 --> 00:07:52,292
that did not agree with him.
184
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:55,891
Been there, done that.
185
00:07:55,959 --> 00:07:58,524
Hey, um, do you want to
see my new purchase?
186
00:07:58,592 --> 00:07:59,857
Oh, your Spider-Man suit?
187
00:07:59,925 --> 00:08:01,123
You modeled it for me last week.
188
00:08:01,191 --> 00:08:02,689
No, no, no, no, no.
189
00:08:02,756 --> 00:08:03,589
It's... it's my TiVo.
190
00:08:03,657 --> 00:08:06,621
See, it's this thing
that records TV shows,
191
00:08:06,689 --> 00:08:08,387
but the cool part is,
192
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:09,754
it's intuitive.
193
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:12,085
See, once you program
in some shows you like,
194
00:08:12,153 --> 00:08:14,253
it gets to know your taste,
and then automatically
195
00:08:14,321 --> 00:08:16,185
picks out and records
shows for you.
196
00:08:16,253 --> 00:08:18,519
Wow. See ya.
197
00:08:18,586 --> 00:08:19,751
No, no, no, no. Come here.
198
00:08:19,819 --> 00:08:21,817
Just come sit.
199
00:08:21,884 --> 00:08:23,783
Now, the other day,
200
00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:27,915
I programmed in Sex in the
City, Six Feet Under,
201
00:08:27,983 --> 00:08:28,915
a few other favorites.
202
00:08:28,983 --> 00:08:31,482
And now... presto.
203
00:08:31,548 --> 00:08:34,413
A whole list of shows TiVo
recorded just for me.
204
00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:36,313
Oh. Priscilla, Queen
of the Desert.
205
00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:40,212
Never heard of it, but
TiVo knows I like it.
206
00:08:40,279 --> 00:08:42,711
Judy Garland: Live
at Carnegie Hall.
207
00:08:42,778 --> 00:08:44,344
Uh, OK, I...
208
00:08:44,412 --> 00:08:46,311
Decorating with Style.
209
00:08:46,378 --> 00:08:47,676
I... I... don't know why...
210
00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:50,009
Queer as Folk.
211
00:08:50,077 --> 00:08:54,708
Oh, my God! TiVo thinks I'm gay!
212
00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:03,204
All right, boys, it's
time to get serious here.
213
00:09:03,273 --> 00:09:05,305
This is our last practice
before the big dance.
214
00:09:05,373 --> 00:09:06,738
Tomorrow the world learns
215
00:09:06,805 --> 00:09:08,304
what the men of IPS are made of.
216
00:09:08,371 --> 00:09:09,470
Yeah, let's do it!
217
00:09:09,538 --> 00:09:10,603
Hey, who's our first
match against?
218
00:09:10,671 --> 00:09:11,602
Uh...
219
00:09:11,670 --> 00:09:13,269
Mail Boxes Etc.
220
00:09:13,336 --> 00:09:15,268
Damn post office wannabes!
221
00:09:16,569 --> 00:09:18,000
Ah, crap.
222
00:09:18,068 --> 00:09:19,400
Anybody got an extra lace?
223
00:09:19,468 --> 00:09:21,965
Uh, no, I don't
have one, but, um,
224
00:09:22,034 --> 00:09:24,266
why don't you go get one
from your girlfriend?
225
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:27,664
Yeah, go ahead, make her night.
226
00:09:27,732 --> 00:09:28,898
"Make her night."
227
00:09:28,966 --> 00:09:31,996
That is so great!
228
00:09:32,064 --> 00:09:34,462
Oh, man, you're good! Oh!
229
00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:36,929
Come on, man, look, she did
dust you off pretty good.
230
00:09:36,996 --> 00:09:38,829
All right, look, she's
new around here, OK?
231
00:09:38,896 --> 00:09:40,360
Maybe she's just nervous
in front of the customers.
232
00:09:40,428 --> 00:09:42,160
Sure, that's it.
233
00:09:49,992 --> 00:09:51,025
Hi.
234
00:09:51,092 --> 00:09:52,324
Can I help you?
235
00:09:52,391 --> 00:09:54,990
Yeah, I need a pack of laces.
How much?
236
00:09:55,058 --> 00:09:56,390
Um, I'm not sure.
237
00:09:56,457 --> 00:09:58,222
Let me ask my boyfriend.
238
00:09:59,623 --> 00:10:01,388
Trevor!
239
00:10:01,456 --> 00:10:02,620
Yeah?
240
00:10:02,688 --> 00:10:04,387
Um, sorry to bother
you, sweetie,
241
00:10:04,454 --> 00:10:07,021
but, um, this guy
says he broke a lace.
242
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:12,784
Broke a shoelace?
243
00:10:13,952 --> 00:10:16,384
Yeah, they break. They're
not made of steel.
244
00:10:18,617 --> 00:10:19,683
That's a buck.
245
00:10:20,751 --> 00:10:22,114
Thank you.
246
00:10:24,216 --> 00:10:25,282
Babe, you look hot tonight.
247
00:10:25,349 --> 00:10:26,813
Come on, stop.
248
00:10:26,881 --> 00:10:28,113
We're at work.
249
00:10:33,746 --> 00:10:34,812
Anything else?
250
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:36,644
No, that's all. Thanks.
251
00:10:44,843 --> 00:10:46,508
Unbelievable.
252
00:10:46,575 --> 00:10:47,741
What happened?
253
00:10:47,809 --> 00:10:49,073
She must've thought I was
hittin' on her last night,
254
00:10:49,141 --> 00:10:50,574
'cause she made a big show of
trotting out her boyfriend
255
00:10:50,642 --> 00:10:53,240
in front of me. "Hey,
sweetie, I love you!"
256
00:10:53,308 --> 00:10:57,571
Please help me sell this sweaty,
horrible man a shoelace."
257
00:10:57,639 --> 00:10:58,971
Well, who's her boyfriend?
258
00:10:59,039 --> 00:11:00,304
That guy right there.
259
00:11:00,372 --> 00:11:01,971
That guy?
260
00:11:02,038 --> 00:11:04,303
That's her brother!
261
00:11:08,236 --> 00:11:09,534
Her brother?
262
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:11,501
She had to get her brother to
pretend to be her boyfriend?
263
00:11:11,568 --> 00:11:13,001
I'm that much of a sleazeball?
264
00:11:14,968 --> 00:11:16,133
I guess so!
265
00:11:16,201 --> 00:11:17,699
Hey, I was doing her a favor!
266
00:11:17,766 --> 00:11:19,065
It was a mercy flirt!
267
00:11:25,199 --> 00:11:27,630
Carrie: See, Jordan, those
are Chinese handcuffs.
268
00:11:27,698 --> 00:11:30,296
Uh-oh! Now your hands are stuck.
269
00:11:30,364 --> 00:11:32,628
It's fun being stuck, isn't it?
270
00:11:32,695 --> 00:11:35,295
Let's be stuck all day.
271
00:11:35,363 --> 00:11:37,127
But I will read you
a little book,
272
00:11:37,195 --> 00:11:38,960
OK, while you are... ohh!
273
00:11:39,028 --> 00:11:39,894
No! No!
274
00:11:39,962 --> 00:11:41,826
What a pair! What?!
275
00:11:41,894 --> 00:11:43,791
The two of you. You
look great together.
276
00:11:43,859 --> 00:11:45,291
Oh! How's it going?
277
00:11:45,359 --> 00:11:48,391
Um, well, actually, uh...
278
00:11:50,691 --> 00:11:52,289
It's going great. It really is.
279
00:11:52,356 --> 00:11:53,256
Fantastic. Yeah...
280
00:11:53,390 --> 00:11:55,522
You really are a lifesaver.
281
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:56,488
You have fun, kiddo.
282
00:12:15,117 --> 00:12:17,548
Hey, sweetie, you wanna
grab some dinner?
283
00:12:17,615 --> 00:12:18,714
Anything but Chinese, though,
284
00:12:18,782 --> 00:12:21,047
'cause I had Chinese for lunch.
285
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:23,180
Unless you really want Chinese.
286
00:12:25,448 --> 00:12:28,045
Let's get Chinese!
287
00:12:28,113 --> 00:12:29,578
Anybody home?
288
00:12:29,645 --> 00:12:31,145
Uh, I'm not hungry.
289
00:12:32,578 --> 00:12:34,010
What? What's wrong?
290
00:12:34,078 --> 00:12:36,476
Oh, it's this thing
with Kaplan's kid.
291
00:12:36,543 --> 00:12:37,808
What's the matter?
292
00:12:37,876 --> 00:12:39,842
You got a little Dennis the
Menace on your hands, huh?
293
00:12:39,909 --> 00:12:41,374
What, he put a
frog in your desk?
294
00:12:41,442 --> 00:12:43,274
Give you a little hot foot?
295
00:12:43,342 --> 00:12:46,473
He feels me up constantly.
296
00:12:47,341 --> 00:12:49,073
Huh? Yeah.
297
00:12:49,141 --> 00:12:52,771
He grabs my breasts
every chance he gets.
298
00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:54,971
Come on, he's a kid!
That's what kids do.
299
00:12:55,038 --> 00:12:56,971
And besides, I remember
you laughin' pretty hard
300
00:12:57,038 --> 00:13:00,402
when Deacon's baby used
my dealie as a speed bag.
301
00:13:00,470 --> 00:13:02,336
Doug, this is totally different!
302
00:13:02,404 --> 00:13:04,035
I mean, this kid... He...
he's old enough
303
00:13:04,103 --> 00:13:06,234
to know exactly what he's doing!
304
00:13:06,303 --> 00:13:08,567
I'm being sexually harassed!
305
00:13:08,635 --> 00:13:09,599
You are not.
306
00:13:09,667 --> 00:13:11,933
I am! Think about it. OK?
307
00:13:12,001 --> 00:13:13,200
The kid gropes me,
308
00:13:13,267 --> 00:13:14,465
I can't complain about it,
309
00:13:14,533 --> 00:13:15,731
or I won't get my promotion.
310
00:13:15,799 --> 00:13:18,564
That's Sexual Harassment 101.
311
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,564
He's no better than
any other sleazeball
312
00:13:20,631 --> 00:13:22,363
who thinks all women
are fair game.
313
00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:28,194
Oh, so you just assume
he's a sleazeball.
314
00:13:28,262 --> 00:13:29,394
Yeah, I do.
315
00:13:29,462 --> 00:13:30,793
Really? Did you ever
stop to think that maybe
316
00:13:30,861 --> 00:13:32,859
he's just throwing
you a mercy flirt?
317
00:13:32,927 --> 00:13:35,793
Huh? Yeah.
318
00:13:37,492 --> 00:13:39,124
Yeah, maybe that he's
just feeling you up
319
00:13:39,192 --> 00:13:41,789
as a favor to you? Huh? Yeah.
320
00:13:41,857 --> 00:13:43,823
What?!
321
00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:45,789
Yeah, you women
are all the same,
322
00:13:45,857 --> 00:13:46,822
you know that?
323
00:13:46,889 --> 00:13:48,089
You think that every
guy's after you
324
00:13:48,157 --> 00:13:51,454
'cause you're so irresistible!
325
00:13:51,522 --> 00:13:52,886
Hey, here's an idea... why
don't you get your brother
326
00:13:52,954 --> 00:13:53,920
to pretend to be your boyfriend?
327
00:13:53,988 --> 00:13:55,752
That'll show him!
328
00:13:55,820 --> 00:13:56,786
What are you talking...
I don't even...
329
00:13:56,853 --> 00:13:57,952
I don't have a brother!
330
00:13:58,020 --> 00:13:59,885
Oh, please!
331
00:13:59,953 --> 00:14:02,351
Doug, what are you
sticking up for him for?
332
00:14:02,419 --> 00:14:03,751
I mean, you should be
going down to my office
333
00:14:03,819 --> 00:14:05,750
and beatin' the crap out of him!
OK...
334
00:14:05,818 --> 00:14:07,517
first of all, I haven't
beaten the crap
335
00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:10,516
out of a 4-year-old
since I was 8.
336
00:14:12,016 --> 00:14:13,815
And second of all,
337
00:14:13,882 --> 00:14:15,280
I'm with the boy on this one.
338
00:14:15,348 --> 00:14:17,180
Sorry if that's a kick
in the cornflakes,
339
00:14:17,248 --> 00:14:19,679
but that's the way
it is, sister!
340
00:14:19,747 --> 00:14:20,379
You're crazy!
341
00:14:20,447 --> 00:14:22,446
Oh, here we go, all
men are crazy!
342
00:14:22,514 --> 00:14:24,345
No, not all men, just you.
343
00:14:24,413 --> 00:14:25,477
Oh, really? I'm crazy?
Well, you know what?
344
00:14:25,545 --> 00:14:27,244
Crazy man go bye-bye.
345
00:14:27,311 --> 00:14:29,010
Bye-bye! Bye-bye! Yeah!
346
00:14:30,611 --> 00:14:32,677
What do you want from Chinese?
347
00:14:40,575 --> 00:14:41,507
Mmm!
348
00:14:41,575 --> 00:14:42,539
Yeah!
349
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,204
Oh, hey, Spence, you're home.
350
00:14:47,272 --> 00:14:48,438
Just now. Um...
351
00:14:48,506 --> 00:14:49,837
do you have a second?
352
00:14:49,905 --> 00:14:51,071
Oh, actually, one of my clients
353
00:14:51,139 --> 00:14:52,903
is getting neutered,
and I should be there.
354
00:14:52,971 --> 00:14:54,269
Well, just... Just for a second.
355
00:14:54,337 --> 00:14:55,670
Just sit. For a second.
356
00:14:55,738 --> 00:14:57,669
OK... OK.
357
00:14:57,737 --> 00:14:58,769
Um...
358
00:14:58,835 --> 00:15:00,800
remember, for some reason,
359
00:15:00,868 --> 00:15:02,167
TiVo thought I was gay?
360
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,067
I mean, how crazy was that?
361
00:15:04,135 --> 00:15:05,134
Phew...
362
00:15:05,268 --> 00:15:06,265
it was crazy.
363
00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:08,165
Yeah, well...
364
00:15:08,233 --> 00:15:09,465
I have a feeling
365
00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:11,931
TiVo won't be making any
more dumb mistakes.
366
00:15:11,999 --> 00:15:12,964
See, I let it know
367
00:15:13,032 --> 00:15:14,531
what a big sports fan I am.
368
00:15:14,599 --> 00:15:16,730
Oh... Yeah! Had it
record my football,
369
00:15:16,797 --> 00:15:17,863
my hoops,
370
00:15:17,931 --> 00:15:19,729
that Nascar race I've
been wantin' to see.
371
00:15:19,796 --> 00:15:20,895
So...
372
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:23,328
let's see what shows
TiVo recorded
373
00:15:23,395 --> 00:15:26,027
now that it knows I'm
a sports junkie.
374
00:15:27,728 --> 00:15:30,326
Men's Ice Dancing.
375
00:15:30,393 --> 00:15:32,458
OK... What... what the...
376
00:15:32,526 --> 00:15:34,991
Breaking the Surface: The
Greg Louganis Story.
377
00:15:35,058 --> 00:15:36,390
Oh... This is wrong!
378
00:15:36,458 --> 00:15:37,957
No, you said TiVo
was intuitive...
379
00:15:38,025 --> 00:15:40,290
No, no! I... I...
I'm not gay, OK?
380
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:42,222
I love women. I've stalked them!
381
00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:44,988
I'll... I'll have sex with
you right now if you want!
382
00:15:45,055 --> 00:15:46,654
Um...
383
00:15:46,722 --> 00:15:48,287
I'm good. Listen...
384
00:15:48,354 --> 00:15:49,720
uh, I should go. Hey, um,
385
00:15:49,788 --> 00:15:51,220
good luck with that whole...
386
00:15:51,288 --> 00:15:52,885
not gay thing. I... I...
387
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:55,352
TiVo's wrong! This is wrong!
388
00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:57,383
Ohh, how dare you label me?!
389
00:15:57,451 --> 00:15:59,617
"Oh, I record shows digitally!"
390
00:15:59,685 --> 00:16:01,616
You're gay!
391
00:16:08,949 --> 00:16:10,448
Yes!
392
00:16:10,515 --> 00:16:11,913
Whoo!
393
00:16:11,981 --> 00:16:13,980
So, how's it goin'?
394
00:16:14,048 --> 00:16:15,280
Not so good.
395
00:16:15,346 --> 00:16:16,812
What's the matter?
396
00:16:16,879 --> 00:16:19,112
I'm being sexually harassed.
397
00:16:19,180 --> 00:16:20,111
Really?
398
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:22,111
Me, too! Who's harassing you?
399
00:16:22,179 --> 00:16:24,343
A 4-year-old.
400
00:16:24,411 --> 00:16:26,077
You?
401
00:16:26,143 --> 00:16:28,342
TiVo.
402
00:16:28,410 --> 00:16:29,574
P.A.: Attention,
tournament bowlers,
403
00:16:29,642 --> 00:16:31,675
please make sure your lineup
cards are filled out.
404
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,041
Denise will be coming around
405
00:16:33,109 --> 00:16:34,274
in a few minutes
to collect them.
406
00:16:34,342 --> 00:16:36,174
Will you forget about
that girl and focus here?
407
00:16:36,242 --> 00:16:37,306
Yeah, yeah.
408
00:16:41,206 --> 00:16:42,638
Yeah!
409
00:17:01,234 --> 00:17:02,332
Got your lineup card?
410
00:17:02,399 --> 00:17:03,598
Oh, yeah, right here.
411
00:17:03,666 --> 00:17:04,765
Mmm. Good luck!
412
00:17:04,832 --> 00:17:05,798
Thanks.
413
00:17:07,732 --> 00:17:09,597
What the hell was that?
414
00:17:09,665 --> 00:17:11,795
Nothing. She was getting
our lineup card.
415
00:17:11,863 --> 00:17:13,062
Did you see her
trying to avoid me?
416
00:17:13,130 --> 00:17:14,862
I'm surprised she didn't
burrow under the alley
417
00:17:14,929 --> 00:17:16,961
like a ferret.
418
00:17:17,028 --> 00:17:18,828
OK, listen to me.
419
00:17:18,962 --> 00:17:20,360
Last year in this tournament,
420
00:17:20,429 --> 00:17:22,293
we lost to Pottery Barn.
421
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:23,359
We got our asses kicked
422
00:17:23,428 --> 00:17:26,058
by people who sell
decorative candles.
423
00:17:26,126 --> 00:17:27,158
Now, I need you
to play your game
424
00:17:27,226 --> 00:17:29,125
and stop worrying about
the damn shoe girl.
425
00:17:30,158 --> 00:17:32,090
You're right. She's
just a shoe girl.
426
00:17:32,158 --> 00:17:33,323
I mean, who the hell
does she think she is,
427
00:17:33,391 --> 00:17:34,589
copping an attitude with me?!
428
00:17:34,657 --> 00:17:36,122
I mean, if I was
goin' after a girl,
429
00:17:36,190 --> 00:17:37,622
I could get somebody
much better than her,
430
00:17:37,689 --> 00:17:39,055
much better!
431
00:17:40,688 --> 00:17:43,088
Wait a second, I did.
432
00:17:43,156 --> 00:17:44,987
And she's here right now.
433
00:17:45,054 --> 00:17:47,052
You know what, I'm gonna go
show Denise what's what.
434
00:17:49,052 --> 00:17:51,318
Hey! Hey.
435
00:17:51,386 --> 00:17:53,118
How about a kiss
from my lucky charm?
436
00:17:53,186 --> 00:17:54,117
Hmm? All right.
437
00:17:54,185 --> 00:17:56,383
There you go. Good luck.
438
00:17:57,317 --> 00:17:58,549
Come on, now, you can
do better than that.
439
00:17:58,616 --> 00:17:59,316
Lay one on me. Just give me
440
00:17:59,383 --> 00:18:00,416
a nice little kiss here, huh?
441
00:18:00,484 --> 00:18:01,782
I don't feel like it, OK?
442
00:18:01,849 --> 00:18:03,680
I've been clawed at
by that kid all day.
443
00:18:03,748 --> 00:18:05,281
All right, well, just
give me a little sugar.
444
00:18:05,349 --> 00:18:06,747
I'm really not in the mood.
445
00:18:06,815 --> 00:18:08,246
Can you just let...
Get off of me!
446
00:18:08,313 --> 00:18:10,846
What is wro... Give
me one little kiss!
447
00:18:10,914 --> 00:18:12,177
Will you please stop?
448
00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:18,043
Stop it!
449
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,308
I'm telling you, this thing
450
00:18:23,376 --> 00:18:25,575
with Jordan is driving me crazy!
451
00:18:25,642 --> 00:18:27,840
Carrie, I know you
feel violated,
452
00:18:27,908 --> 00:18:28,907
but hang in there.
453
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:31,373
In 2 days, he'll be
back in preschool.
454
00:18:31,441 --> 00:18:32,605
I can't take
455
00:18:32,673 --> 00:18:34,305
another 2 days of
this, all right?
456
00:18:34,373 --> 00:18:35,805
Every time I blink I see a pair
457
00:18:35,873 --> 00:18:38,805
of grubby little hands
and a Garanimals shirt.
458
00:18:41,638 --> 00:18:43,070
You know what?
459
00:18:43,138 --> 00:18:44,036
I'm just gonna tell Kaplan
460
00:18:44,104 --> 00:18:45,535
that I can't do it anymore.
461
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:55,533
Hi, Mr. Kaplan.
462
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:56,999
Oh, good morning, Carrie. Uh...
463
00:18:57,067 --> 00:18:58,066
can I talk to you for a second
464
00:18:58,134 --> 00:18:59,331
about my watching Jordan?
465
00:18:59,398 --> 00:19:01,932
Well, actually, I'm glad
you brought that up.
466
00:19:01,999 --> 00:19:05,163
Seems the young fellow
wants to make a change.
467
00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:06,996
What kind of change?
468
00:19:07,064 --> 00:19:08,262
Well...
469
00:19:08,329 --> 00:19:10,295
to be honest with you,
470
00:19:10,363 --> 00:19:12,928
he's kind of taken
a shine to Amanda.
471
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:22,491
OK.
472
00:19:22,559 --> 00:19:23,824
Thanks for all
your help, Carrie.
473
00:19:23,892 --> 00:19:24,824
Sure!
474
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:35,488
Hey, Jordan.
475
00:19:35,556 --> 00:19:37,687
I heard about your decision.
476
00:19:37,754 --> 00:19:40,420
I guess I understand.
477
00:19:40,487 --> 00:19:41,719
I just hope you tell your father
478
00:19:41,787 --> 00:19:43,852
that I treated you well.
479
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,151
Although I clearly couldn't be
480
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:48,251
all that you wanted me to be.
481
00:19:52,517 --> 00:19:53,449
Just so you know,
482
00:19:53,517 --> 00:19:55,082
those are fake.
483
00:20:06,213 --> 00:20:08,178
Sorry, man. I, uh...
484
00:20:08,246 --> 00:20:10,177
I really let the team down.
485
00:20:10,245 --> 00:20:12,244
Yeah.
486
00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:13,743
OK, you didn't have
to agree with me.
487
00:20:13,810 --> 00:20:15,676
Well, what the hell
am I supposed to say?
488
00:20:15,744 --> 00:20:17,942
You bowled a 94.
489
00:20:20,675 --> 00:20:22,141
It's all her fault.
490
00:20:23,508 --> 00:20:24,741
Hey, you know what?
491
00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:26,140
I should end this right now!
492
00:20:26,207 --> 00:20:27,639
Just tell her once and for
all that I'm not into her,
493
00:20:27,706 --> 00:20:30,006
I was just being nice.
What do you think?
494
00:20:30,073 --> 00:20:33,203
Do you understand we got
beat by Lamps Plus?
495
00:20:33,271 --> 00:20:34,371
Hey!
496
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:38,570
Hey!
497
00:20:41,969 --> 00:20:43,501
Hold up a sec!
498
00:20:47,334 --> 00:20:48,767
Hey!
499
00:20:52,799 --> 00:20:53,898
Wait up!
500
00:20:59,197 --> 00:21:03,062
Aah!
501
00:21:05,662 --> 00:21:07,561
Oh, God!
502
00:21:07,629 --> 00:21:09,993
Aah!
503
00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:12,827
It was a mercy flirt!
504
00:21:22,491 --> 00:21:24,956
TV Announcer: Tonight
on Queer as Folk...
34144
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof