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1
00:00:32,519 --> 00:00:34,856
Hon, there's a charge
on our credit card bill
2
00:00:34,923 --> 00:00:39,360
for $88.50 for n.M.G. What is that?
"N.M.G."?
3
00:00:40,394 --> 00:00:43,964
Maybe, uh, "nut Meg groceries"?
4
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,370
Ok, first of all,
nutmeg is one word,
5
00:00:49,405 --> 00:00:51,239
and, even more importantly,
6
00:00:51,307 --> 00:00:54,676
what the hell is
"nut Meg groceries"?
7
00:00:54,744 --> 00:00:58,480
Ok. Y-y-you know, y-you don't promote
teamwork when you trash my input.
8
00:00:58,548 --> 00:01:00,481
I'm calling the
credit card company.
9
00:01:00,549 --> 00:01:02,483
What is taking so long
with those sandwiches?
10
00:01:02,551 --> 00:01:03,986
Excuse me. I'm an artist.
11
00:01:04,054 --> 00:01:06,139
Let me paint my picture,
12
00:01:06,206 --> 00:01:07,323
with bacon.
13
00:01:08,875 --> 00:01:10,743
For a question about
your bill, press one.
14
00:01:10,811 --> 00:01:12,612
No, no, no, no. Don't
press any buttons.
15
00:01:12,679 --> 00:01:13,696
What?
16
00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:15,414
You make believe you
have a dial phone.
17
00:01:15,483 --> 00:01:17,767
It gets you right through
to the operator.
18
00:01:17,835 --> 00:01:19,503
Really? Yeah.
19
00:01:19,571 --> 00:01:22,356
It's the telephone equivalent of
the handicapped parking sticker.
20
00:01:23,941 --> 00:01:25,809
God love you, you got savvy.
21
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,678
Yeah. You know what else I got?
22
00:01:27,745 --> 00:01:28,745
Lunchy.
23
00:01:28,813 --> 00:01:30,347
Hallelujah.
24
00:01:32,517 --> 00:01:33,667
Lunch!
25
00:01:34,937 --> 00:01:36,204
Ohh, great.
26
00:01:36,271 --> 00:01:37,839
Your little plan backfired.
27
00:01:37,906 --> 00:01:40,490
Now I'm in voice-prompt hell.
28
00:01:43,128 --> 00:01:45,162
2.
29
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,148
Come on out! Lunch!
30
00:01:48,534 --> 00:01:50,168
Hiya, kids! Hey.
31
00:01:53,305 --> 00:01:54,539
Uncle stu, how you doin'?
32
00:01:54,607 --> 00:01:56,875
In honor of your visit, I
made one of my specialties.
33
00:01:56,943 --> 00:01:58,244
I hope you like b.L.T.'S.
34
00:01:58,311 --> 00:02:00,446
Ooh, I couldn't love 'em more.
35
00:02:02,215 --> 00:02:03,282
One.
36
00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:06,852
English.
37
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:10,123
What's that all about?
38
00:02:10,191 --> 00:02:12,959
I don't know. That's how
she talks on the phone.
39
00:02:13,027 --> 00:02:15,728
You know, it was really nice
for Arthur to let me stay
40
00:02:15,796 --> 00:02:17,297
in his room while he was away.
41
00:02:17,365 --> 00:02:18,865
You all right down there?
42
00:02:18,867 --> 00:02:21,167
Are you kiddin' me? It's
like stayin' in a hotel.
43
00:02:22,286 --> 00:02:24,087
You know what that man did?
44
00:02:24,155 --> 00:02:26,624
He left me a mint on my pillow.
45
00:02:26,691 --> 00:02:29,911
Actually, that might've fallen out
of his mouth while he was napping.
46
00:02:29,978 --> 00:02:32,280
You're a rascal, you know that?
47
00:02:36,584 --> 00:02:37,635
Mmm.
48
00:02:38,321 --> 00:02:39,271
Wow.
49
00:02:40,505 --> 00:02:41,839
You know,
50
00:02:41,907 --> 00:02:45,260
this might be the best
thing I've ever eaten.
51
00:02:45,328 --> 00:02:46,660
Hey, dad. What's up, Doug?
52
00:02:46,728 --> 00:02:48,563
Hey, Danny. Taste this sandwich.
53
00:02:48,631 --> 00:02:49,699
Uh, I... I just ate.
54
00:02:49,765 --> 00:02:50,833
Taste it!
55
00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:52,768
Dad, do you want to sell
your condo, or not?
56
00:02:52,835 --> 00:02:54,704
We got the realtor
meetin' us at 1:30.
57
00:02:54,771 --> 00:02:57,940
Look, your cousin made this sandwich.
Take a bite.
58
00:03:00,511 --> 00:03:01,844
So?
59
00:03:01,912 --> 00:03:03,313
It's good.
60
00:03:03,380 --> 00:03:06,115
It's good? It's just good?
61
00:03:06,184 --> 00:03:08,784
It's great, ok, dad? What
do you want from me?
62
00:03:08,852 --> 00:03:10,170
Well, let me tell you somethin'.
63
00:03:10,238 --> 00:03:12,605
If your pizzas were half
as good as this sandwich,
64
00:03:12,673 --> 00:03:15,409
maybe your shop wouldn't
have gone under.
65
00:03:16,445 --> 00:03:18,028
My biggest fan here.
66
00:03:18,630 --> 00:03:19,797
Can we just go?
67
00:03:19,865 --> 00:03:21,064
Ok, ok.
68
00:03:21,132 --> 00:03:24,001
Dougie, have you got a
baggie for this ambrosia?
69
00:03:24,068 --> 00:03:25,720
Yeah, sure.
70
00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:26,888
Thanks.
71
00:03:28,256 --> 00:03:30,257
Ah, zip-loc. The best.
72
00:03:30,325 --> 00:03:31,960
Yeah.
73
00:03:32,028 --> 00:03:34,395
Dougie, I'm gonna see you
at work tomorrow, right?
74
00:03:34,463 --> 00:03:35,530
Ride in your truck?
75
00:03:35,597 --> 00:03:36,597
Sure.
76
00:03:36,665 --> 00:03:37,866
Hey, thanks. Here you go.
77
00:03:37,934 --> 00:03:39,567
I'll see ya. Ok.
78
00:03:39,635 --> 00:03:41,237
Take care now. Yeah.
79
00:03:41,305 --> 00:03:43,405
I work at I.P.S. Too, dad.
80
00:03:46,343 --> 00:03:47,642
Hey, look at this.
81
00:03:47,710 --> 00:03:49,645
We're higher than the s.U.V.'S,
82
00:03:49,762 --> 00:03:52,682
and that's really
sayin' somethin'.
83
00:03:52,749 --> 00:03:57,019
Ah, Dougie, you're
king of the road.
84
00:03:57,086 --> 00:03:58,739
I'm just so proud of you, Doug,
85
00:03:58,807 --> 00:04:00,440
what you've done for yourself.
86
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:02,910
Well, thanks a lot, Uncle St...
87
00:04:02,977 --> 00:04:05,210
I know your father was
always ridin' you
88
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:07,514
to take over his hardware store.
89
00:04:07,582 --> 00:04:10,350
Yeah. It wasn't for me.
90
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:14,087
I always knew there was
somethin' better out there.
91
00:04:14,156 --> 00:04:16,490
Well, you see, son,
caulk and spackle
92
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,808
are actually pretty different.
93
00:04:18,876 --> 00:04:20,727
Then, of course, there's putty
94
00:04:20,795 --> 00:04:22,697
which is a whole 'nother
animal completely.
95
00:04:24,666 --> 00:04:26,934
I have a package for you.
96
00:04:30,472 --> 00:04:32,507
Come on, Dougie. Pay attention.
97
00:04:32,574 --> 00:04:35,510
For example, if you have
a hole in your wall,
98
00:04:35,578 --> 00:04:37,245
that's a spackle job.
99
00:04:38,698 --> 00:04:40,533
Got your sandwiches.
100
00:04:46,290 --> 00:04:50,659
So what you're saying is what you really
want to do is run a sandwich shop?
101
00:04:50,860 --> 00:04:53,329
Yeah, you know when you're a
kid you have crazy dreams,
102
00:04:53,531 --> 00:04:56,599
but this... this... This here...
this is fine.
103
00:04:56,667 --> 00:04:58,567
Heffernan?
104
00:04:58,635 --> 00:05:00,086
Uh, y-yes, Mr. O'Boyle?
105
00:05:00,153 --> 00:05:01,421
What's goin' on?
106
00:05:01,489 --> 00:05:03,322
That star wars pinball
machine was supposed
107
00:05:03,391 --> 00:05:05,324
to be delivered before noon.
108
00:05:05,393 --> 00:05:07,862
Uh, y-yes, sir. I'm sorry. I'm
just running a little late.
109
00:05:07,929 --> 00:05:10,731
Yeah? We'll I'm here fielding
some very angry phone calls
110
00:05:10,799 --> 00:05:13,200
from some very geeky people.
111
00:05:13,268 --> 00:05:16,103
Put down the doughnuts
and start driving, huh?
112
00:05:16,171 --> 00:05:17,272
Ok.
113
00:05:19,675 --> 00:05:20,741
Doughnuts.
114
00:05:21,977 --> 00:05:23,679
He kids me about my weight.
115
00:05:23,745 --> 00:05:25,513
We laugh. We do.
116
00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:29,635
Damn it, I can't hold my tongue.
117
00:05:31,171 --> 00:05:34,540
You shouldn't let that
man boss you around.
118
00:05:34,607 --> 00:05:38,044
It is my boss. It's,
it's in the title.
119
00:05:38,111 --> 00:05:41,279
But is he smarter than you?
Is he better than you?
120
00:05:45,252 --> 00:05:46,585
Testing.
121
00:05:46,653 --> 00:05:48,554
Mr. O'Boyle?
122
00:05:48,622 --> 00:05:50,357
No, he's not. No.
123
00:05:50,359 --> 00:05:52,442
You know what you should do?
124
00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:56,078
You should open that sandwich
shop, and work for yourself.
125
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,464
What? Yeah.
126
00:05:57,531 --> 00:06:00,584
You shouldn't have to take
any orders from this idiot.
127
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:03,253
You should be taking sandwich
orders from your customers.
128
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:05,824
That's your dream.
That's your gift.
129
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:09,593
I... I... I couldn't do that.
130
00:06:13,548 --> 00:06:15,149
Hey.
131
00:06:15,217 --> 00:06:17,118
Your clothes are everywhere.
What happened?
132
00:06:17,186 --> 00:06:19,254
They explode off your body?
133
00:06:22,124 --> 00:06:23,758
What are you doin'?
134
00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:25,361
Thinking.
135
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,396
About sports or boobies?
136
00:06:28,498 --> 00:06:30,064
Neither. Sandwiches.
137
00:06:30,133 --> 00:06:32,067
How did I leave that out?
138
00:06:32,135 --> 00:06:33,502
Not sandwiches to eat.
139
00:06:33,570 --> 00:06:36,856
I'm thinkin' about
sandwiches as a way of life.
140
00:06:37,975 --> 00:06:39,977
You know my thing, how I
always wanted to open
141
00:06:40,044 --> 00:06:41,443
my own sandwich shop.
142
00:06:41,511 --> 00:06:44,013
Oh, yeah. Yeah, you haven't
talked about that for a while.
143
00:06:44,081 --> 00:06:46,749
You think that's somethin' I
can do, you know, someday?
144
00:06:46,817 --> 00:06:47,834
Sure.
145
00:06:47,901 --> 00:06:49,319
Really?
146
00:06:49,387 --> 00:06:53,206
Yeah, my man can do anything
he puts his mind to.
147
00:06:53,273 --> 00:06:55,275
Hey, you thought about
taping your remote controls
148
00:06:55,343 --> 00:06:59,029
to that ping-pong paddle so
you wouldn't lose 'em, right?
149
00:06:59,097 --> 00:07:00,831
I did, didn't I?
150
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,551
How great would it be? We get...
151
00:07:03,618 --> 00:07:06,987
We get free sandwiches
whenever we wanted, free soda.
152
00:07:07,055 --> 00:07:09,673
There'd be a TV there.
You'd put the game on.
153
00:07:09,741 --> 00:07:12,144
Sounds a lot like downstairs.
154
00:07:12,211 --> 00:07:13,494
But I'm with you. I'm with you.
155
00:07:13,562 --> 00:07:15,064
You know what I
think I should do?
156
00:07:15,131 --> 00:07:17,816
I... I should start putting a
few dollars away each week.
157
00:07:17,867 --> 00:07:20,585
You know, maybe sell my bike.
158
00:07:20,687 --> 00:07:23,688
I don't think that triathlon
thing's gonna shake out.
159
00:07:26,092 --> 00:07:27,660
And then a few years
down the line,
160
00:07:27,726 --> 00:07:29,995
really try and get this thing
off the ground, you know?
161
00:07:30,062 --> 00:07:32,799
"Doug's: A place
for sandwiches."
162
00:07:34,235 --> 00:07:35,568
You know, you're kinda sexy
163
00:07:35,635 --> 00:07:38,271
when you talk all
ambitious and stuff.
164
00:07:38,839 --> 00:07:40,339
Really?
165
00:07:40,407 --> 00:07:43,576
Did I happen to mention that
I'm bottomless right now?
166
00:07:49,918 --> 00:07:52,635
Passes it to Anderson in the corner.
They get to spread it out.
167
00:07:52,703 --> 00:07:55,389
Doug, would you mind
cracking my back?
168
00:07:56,858 --> 00:07:58,058
Very much.
169
00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:00,093
Come on. Stand up. Stand up.
170
00:08:00,161 --> 00:08:04,866
We go back to back. We
interlock arms, and you lift.
171
00:08:04,933 --> 00:08:07,302
All right, just so you know,
this is the last time
172
00:08:07,370 --> 00:08:09,471
our asses will ever touch.
173
00:08:11,507 --> 00:08:12,974
Oh, yeah!
174
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,910
There it is.
175
00:08:15,979 --> 00:08:17,479
Crack!
176
00:08:17,546 --> 00:08:18,680
Oh. Oh!
177
00:08:19,182 --> 00:08:20,349
Whoo!
178
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,050
Now, I'm gonna lie
on my stomach and...
179
00:08:22,118 --> 00:08:23,486
We're done.
180
00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,723
Hey, kids, I got great news.
181
00:08:27,791 --> 00:08:29,659
That Korean couple
bought my condo.
182
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:32,094
Hey! Congratulations.
183
00:08:32,161 --> 00:08:34,180
I did great on the sale.
184
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:37,183
They didn't want me to paint it
or fix the plumbing or anything.
185
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,986
They missed all the problems.
186
00:08:40,054 --> 00:08:41,404
Nice work, dad.
187
00:08:41,472 --> 00:08:44,724
Yeah. But the bigger news
is after I left my realtor,
188
00:08:44,793 --> 00:08:47,977
I went past the falafel joint.
It was for lease.
189
00:08:48,713 --> 00:08:50,081
Ok.
190
00:08:50,148 --> 00:08:53,367
So, guess what I'm gonna
do with my windfall?
191
00:08:53,435 --> 00:08:55,486
I'm gonna back you, Dougie.
192
00:08:56,922 --> 00:08:58,355
S-s-sorry. W-what?
193
00:08:58,557 --> 00:09:00,859
Yeah, so you can open
your sandwich shop.
194
00:09:00,926 --> 00:09:03,629
You're the talent.
I'm the money.
195
00:09:04,429 --> 00:09:05,664
Great.
196
00:09:05,732 --> 00:09:08,634
Really? I... I was...
I was thinkin'
197
00:09:08,701 --> 00:09:10,820
I'd do that down the
line somewhere.
198
00:09:10,887 --> 00:09:12,103
"Down the line"?
199
00:09:12,171 --> 00:09:14,740
Dougie, you're young.
You're strong.
200
00:09:14,808 --> 00:09:18,627
You'll never be able to make better
sandwiches than you can right now.
201
00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:22,914
Wow. Maybe you're right.
202
00:09:22,983 --> 00:09:25,452
This is... the whole thing we
were talkin' about last night.
203
00:09:25,535 --> 00:09:26,601
It can actually happen.
204
00:09:26,669 --> 00:09:28,104
Yeah.
205
00:09:28,172 --> 00:09:29,671
Yay.
206
00:09:31,108 --> 00:09:33,609
But... but, honey, we
can't take stu's money.
207
00:09:33,678 --> 00:09:34,961
That's his nest egg.
208
00:09:35,029 --> 00:09:37,163
What else am I gonna do with it?
209
00:09:37,231 --> 00:09:40,166
Come on, Doug. What do you say?
210
00:09:41,168 --> 00:09:43,303
I... I... I don't
know what to say.
211
00:09:43,371 --> 00:09:45,622
Except white, wheat, or rye?
212
00:09:47,109 --> 00:09:49,211
That's my brother's boy.
213
00:09:56,652 --> 00:09:58,887
Possible name for Italian sub:
214
00:09:58,988 --> 00:10:00,588
The hammy aiello.
215
00:10:03,376 --> 00:10:06,746
Call Danny's people.
Get that set up.
216
00:10:06,763 --> 00:10:08,463
Hey, honey, what
are you doin' up?
217
00:10:08,531 --> 00:10:11,734
I... I couldn't sleep. I got all
these ideas I had to get 'em down.
218
00:10:11,801 --> 00:10:14,136
Everybody loves egg nog.
Serve it all year 'round.
219
00:10:14,203 --> 00:10:15,904
Huh? Great.
220
00:10:15,972 --> 00:10:16,956
Carrie, it's amazing.
221
00:10:17,024 --> 00:10:19,058
All these ideas are just
channeling through me.
222
00:10:19,126 --> 00:10:21,060
I don't even know where
they're comin' from.
223
00:10:21,128 --> 00:10:23,963
Oh! Halloween special,
the Herman munster.
224
00:10:24,764 --> 00:10:26,250
See what just happened?
225
00:10:26,318 --> 00:10:29,053
Yeah, ok, well, you got all
the funny sandwich names down
226
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:32,189
but how you doin' with, like,
learning about bookkeeping,
227
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:34,224
in-insurance, state licensing.
228
00:10:34,292 --> 00:10:35,809
Squagel. I'm sorry. What?
229
00:10:35,877 --> 00:10:38,195
A squagel, a square bagel.
A squa...
230
00:10:39,965 --> 00:10:42,066
A squagel and a schmear.
231
00:10:42,969 --> 00:10:44,769
Uh-huh.
232
00:10:44,837 --> 00:10:47,138
"Squagel." Ok, I like "squagel,"
233
00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:50,575
but, um, can we talk for a
minute about your squacheck?
234
00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:54,612
I mean,
235
00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:56,614
you... you gonna do this whole thing
while still workin' at I.P.S.
236
00:10:56,682 --> 00:10:58,500
I mean, what's... I
didn't tell you all this?
237
00:10:58,567 --> 00:10:59,667
No.
238
00:10:59,735 --> 00:11:01,503
I looked into it, and
the union allows you
239
00:11:01,571 --> 00:11:03,622
to take 6 months off unpaid.
240
00:11:03,690 --> 00:11:06,175
No pay, huh?
241
00:11:06,243 --> 00:11:08,727
I... I know it's scary.
I'm a little scared, too,
242
00:11:08,795 --> 00:11:10,930
but you know how I know
it's gonna work out?
243
00:11:10,997 --> 00:11:13,048
Because of you. Me?
244
00:11:13,116 --> 00:11:14,768
Yeah. All these years
you've been on me
245
00:11:14,836 --> 00:11:17,904
about takin' more
initiative and everything.
246
00:11:17,972 --> 00:11:20,273
Have I? Yeah.
247
00:11:20,307 --> 00:11:23,743
You know, all that "get
off your fat ass" stuff.
248
00:11:23,811 --> 00:11:26,163
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
249
00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:29,483
Well, if you'll notice,
I am off said fat ass
250
00:11:29,550 --> 00:11:32,652
and she's a-stayin' airborne,
251
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:34,771
and it's all thanks to you.
252
00:11:36,741 --> 00:11:37,874
That's sweet, honey.
253
00:11:37,943 --> 00:11:41,145
So, in appreciation,
I present to you,
254
00:11:41,980 --> 00:11:43,447
the Carrie.
255
00:11:45,067 --> 00:11:48,086
Wow. What's in it?
256
00:11:48,153 --> 00:11:49,888
Eye makeup and a pickle.
257
00:11:50,438 --> 00:11:51,973
I'm kidding.
258
00:11:55,345 --> 00:11:57,229
It's good. Try it, Carrie.
259
00:11:57,297 --> 00:11:59,465
Taste "the Carrie."
260
00:11:59,532 --> 00:12:00,666
Hmm.
261
00:12:01,634 --> 00:12:03,001
Ok.
262
00:12:05,038 --> 00:12:06,338
Huh? Huh?
263
00:12:06,406 --> 00:12:08,207
Mmm-hmm. I'm yummy.
264
00:12:09,509 --> 00:12:12,028
Wait till you try
yourself on a squagel.
265
00:12:20,805 --> 00:12:22,438
Hey, guys. Hey, Carrie
266
00:12:22,506 --> 00:12:24,575
find a good game.
Ah, we got killed.
267
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:27,711
I never seen a hasidic
kid dunk before.
268
00:12:27,779 --> 00:12:30,781
Moisheh got game.
269
00:12:30,848 --> 00:12:33,385
So, uh, what you got going on tonight?
You got a hot date?
270
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:35,287
No, it's rough out there.
I got nothin'.
271
00:12:35,354 --> 00:12:36,688
Well, your fortune's
gonna change
272
00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:38,590
once I open my sandwich shop.
273
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:39,707
Oh, yeah? How's that?
274
00:12:39,775 --> 00:12:41,259
Because you'll be
in with the owner,
275
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:42,593
meaning, you can just duck down
276
00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:44,129
and grab a soda
whenever you want.
277
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:45,965
Chicks dig that.
278
00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:48,083
Sounds like it's gonna be
a swingin' joint, my man.
279
00:12:48,150 --> 00:12:49,384
Let's get this party started.
280
00:12:49,451 --> 00:12:51,236
All right, bro. I'm
gonna take a shower.
281
00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:52,805
Is it ok if I use your loofah?
282
00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:56,042
I promise not to use it on
the parts we discussed.
283
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,710
That's fine, hon.
284
00:12:57,778 --> 00:13:01,130
All right. See ya, nephew.
285
00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:03,933
Deacon, listen, we don't
have a lot of time.
286
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,135
I just want to ask you a
question off the record.
287
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:09,038
Do you really think that Doug
can run his own sandwich shop?
288
00:13:09,106 --> 00:13:10,424
Sure. Really?
289
00:13:10,491 --> 00:13:11,658
And be successful?
290
00:13:11,726 --> 00:13:13,694
Oh, no.
291
00:13:13,761 --> 00:13:15,829
Then what are you
encouraging him for?
292
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:18,365
Because I'm his best friend. I
tell him what he wants to hear
293
00:13:18,433 --> 00:13:20,701
like when he asked me if he
looked good in those overalls
294
00:13:20,768 --> 00:13:23,470
you were the one who
told him they look good.
295
00:13:23,538 --> 00:13:26,339
He wore those for
an entire summer!
296
00:13:26,407 --> 00:13:27,876
I... I don't know.
Maybe I'm wrong.
297
00:13:27,943 --> 00:13:30,178
Maybe he can pull it off.
He makes a good sandwich.
298
00:13:30,245 --> 00:13:33,081
Deacon, he has no
business sense.
299
00:13:33,149 --> 00:13:36,217
I mean, he wants to stick
ads on traffic signs.
300
00:13:36,285 --> 00:13:38,252
"Stop at Doug's."
301
00:13:40,590 --> 00:13:42,524
That could cause
fatal accidents.
302
00:13:42,592 --> 00:13:45,177
Thank you. That's why you
have to talk to him.
303
00:13:45,244 --> 00:13:46,912
Look, I'm not talkin' to him.
304
00:13:46,978 --> 00:13:48,980
Deacon, you have to.
305
00:13:49,048 --> 00:13:52,618
If... if you can see the future, it's
your responsibility to change it.
306
00:13:52,686 --> 00:13:56,304
It's like shooting baby Hitler.
307
00:13:56,372 --> 00:13:59,743
Wait a minute. You're his wife.
Why don't you tell him?
308
00:13:59,810 --> 00:14:02,779
Because I'm already on record
saying I believe in him.
309
00:14:02,847 --> 00:14:03,796
Well, why'd you do that?
310
00:14:03,864 --> 00:14:05,398
Because it's like
when your kid says,
311
00:14:05,465 --> 00:14:07,200
he wants to be president,
you don't say,
312
00:14:07,268 --> 00:14:09,835
"no, Tommy. You're a moron."
313
00:14:09,903 --> 00:14:13,106
You encourage him because you don't
think it's ever gonna happen.
314
00:14:13,174 --> 00:14:14,324
Well, I got news for you.
315
00:14:14,392 --> 00:14:16,594
Tommy's running for president.
316
00:14:16,661 --> 00:14:18,763
Not if you stop him.
317
00:14:18,830 --> 00:14:20,147
Look, why me?
318
00:14:20,215 --> 00:14:23,118
Please, I can't hurt his
feelings like this.
319
00:14:23,185 --> 00:14:25,204
I mean, he's naming a
sandwich after me.
320
00:14:25,270 --> 00:14:26,971
So? He already named
one after me.
321
00:14:27,039 --> 00:14:30,309
The Deacon: Pastrami, corned beef,
Swiss cheese, French dressing.
322
00:14:30,376 --> 00:14:33,712
I gotta level with you. Sounds a lot
like the Spence without the onions.
323
00:14:33,780 --> 00:14:36,715
Deacon, come on. He's meeting
with the man tomorrow.
324
00:14:36,783 --> 00:14:38,867
He's gonna sign a lease.
I'm running out of time.
325
00:14:38,934 --> 00:14:41,069
I'll tell you what, if the
overalls make a comeback,
326
00:14:41,137 --> 00:14:42,904
I'll be the bad guy,
the best I can do.
327
00:14:42,972 --> 00:14:44,740
I already burned them!
328
00:14:51,164 --> 00:14:53,349
So, the soda machine
works perfectly.
329
00:14:53,417 --> 00:14:57,004
And there's a brand-new
co2 cartridge in there.
330
00:14:57,072 --> 00:14:59,572
Co2? Not bad.
331
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:03,243
Hey, honey, check it out. I'm wiping down
the counter after a hard day's work, huh?
332
00:15:03,311 --> 00:15:05,711
That's great, honey. Hey, sorry, kids.
We're closed,
333
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,280
but, hey, stay off the drugs!
334
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,918
Just keep me laughing,
Dougie, that's all I ask.
335
00:15:11,987 --> 00:15:15,905
All right. I guess I'm ready to put
a little bet on a horse called me.
336
00:15:15,973 --> 00:15:18,108
Where do I sign?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
337
00:15:18,176 --> 00:15:20,244
Don't you wanna ask a few
more questions first?
338
00:15:20,313 --> 00:15:23,514
Like what? Like which soda
distributor gives you the best deal.
339
00:15:23,549 --> 00:15:25,816
How do you calculate
your payroll taxes?
340
00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:28,703
Do you offer your part-time
employees health insurance?
341
00:15:28,770 --> 00:15:31,273
I happen to know a few things
about the restaurant business.
342
00:15:31,341 --> 00:15:35,044
Yeah, ok. Well, I'll be sure
to read the book you wrote,
343
00:15:35,095 --> 00:15:36,946
especially chapter 11.
344
00:15:38,415 --> 00:15:41,317
I kid, man. I kid out of love.
345
00:15:41,384 --> 00:15:42,819
Come with me to the back, guys.
346
00:15:42,886 --> 00:15:44,420
I'll show you the storage area.
347
00:15:44,487 --> 00:15:46,122
Then we can get the
paperwork going.
348
00:15:46,190 --> 00:15:47,323
Ok.
349
00:16:02,274 --> 00:16:04,342
This must be tough for you.
350
00:16:06,311 --> 00:16:07,378
What do you mean?
351
00:16:07,445 --> 00:16:10,764
Well, I'm sure you
have a million ideas
352
00:16:10,832 --> 00:16:12,132
for great businesses,
353
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:15,336
and here, your own father's
giving Doug all his money.
354
00:16:15,404 --> 00:16:17,756
That... that can't feel good.
355
00:16:18,658 --> 00:16:21,226
Well, you know, his money.
356
00:16:21,293 --> 00:16:23,261
I'm happy for Doug.
357
00:16:23,328 --> 00:16:24,630
Oh, yeah, me, too.
358
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,018
But what about
Danny in all this?
359
00:16:29,102 --> 00:16:31,003
When is it Danny's turn?
360
00:16:32,273 --> 00:16:34,756
What can I do, anyway?
361
00:16:34,824 --> 00:16:37,043
I don't know. I
guess if it was me,
362
00:16:37,111 --> 00:16:40,146
I would talk to my father
before that lease got signed.
363
00:16:40,214 --> 00:16:42,097
I'd say,
364
00:16:42,165 --> 00:16:44,884
"dad, I'm your son, damn it.
365
00:16:44,952 --> 00:16:47,486
Back me and not Doug."
366
00:16:47,555 --> 00:16:50,389
But, you know, whatever.
It's none of my business.
367
00:16:52,376 --> 00:16:54,862
I can't, ok?
368
00:16:54,929 --> 00:16:57,915
I'm gonna go wait outside.
369
00:16:57,983 --> 00:17:00,283
Well, the back area
seems to be in order,
370
00:17:00,351 --> 00:17:03,020
by the way, I just learned who
we're sharing the dumpster with,
371
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:04,822
the corrective shoe king.
372
00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:07,358
Yeah, I just saw his highness
out in the alley taking a leak.
373
00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:11,379
He's marvelous.
374
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,830
All right, I got all the papers.
375
00:17:12,897 --> 00:17:16,067
Per your request, the
meat spit will stay.
376
00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:17,703
So if you're ready to sign.
377
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,071
All right, let's do it. Great.
378
00:17:22,893 --> 00:17:24,559
Wait, wait! Um,
379
00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:27,529
Doug, can I just talk to
you in there for one sec?
380
00:17:27,597 --> 00:17:29,098
Ok.
381
00:17:33,003 --> 00:17:34,237
What's going on?
382
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,105
I... I gotta be
honest with you, ok.
383
00:17:36,173 --> 00:17:38,540
I really don't have a good
feeling about this place.
384
00:17:38,608 --> 00:17:40,009
What? Why?
385
00:17:40,077 --> 00:17:43,712
Well, first of all,
what is that smell?
386
00:17:44,415 --> 00:17:45,848
What smell?
387
00:17:45,916 --> 00:17:48,185
Whoo! You're not gettin' that?
388
00:17:48,253 --> 00:17:51,221
It smells like something
just died in here.
389
00:17:51,289 --> 00:17:53,973
Carrie, what... what's
really goin' on?
390
00:17:55,493 --> 00:17:57,144
Ok, well, first, let me say,
391
00:17:57,212 --> 00:17:59,046
I love you a whole lot.
392
00:18:00,815 --> 00:18:03,585
Dad, I'm your son, damn it.
393
00:18:03,652 --> 00:18:05,503
Back me and not Doug.
394
00:18:06,738 --> 00:18:08,623
Me? The prob... The
problem is me?
395
00:18:08,691 --> 00:18:10,459
Look, it's not you in general.
396
00:18:10,526 --> 00:18:12,126
It's you in this situation.
397
00:18:12,195 --> 00:18:14,530
You said you believed in me.
So I guess that stuff about,
398
00:18:14,598 --> 00:18:16,432
"you can do anything
you set your mind to,"
399
00:18:16,499 --> 00:18:17,932
that was a big bunch of crap?
400
00:18:17,999 --> 00:18:21,253
Crap is a strong word.
It was more like hooey.
401
00:18:22,990 --> 00:18:25,458
Ok, well, you know what?
This is a real eye-opener.
402
00:18:25,525 --> 00:18:28,427
My wife doesn't believe in me.
Hmm!
403
00:18:29,296 --> 00:18:31,098
Doug, it's not just you.
404
00:18:31,165 --> 00:18:33,265
Come on, I couldn't be
everything I wanted to be.
405
00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:35,135
I could never be an astronaut.
406
00:18:35,203 --> 00:18:38,321
Uh-huh, ok, so me making
a go of a sandwich shop
407
00:18:38,323 --> 00:18:41,541
is as likely as you walking
on the surface of the moon.
408
00:18:42,877 --> 00:18:44,811
Ok.
409
00:18:44,879 --> 00:18:48,199
Listen to me, you have a
million great qualities,
410
00:18:48,267 --> 00:18:51,419
just not the sharpest
business sense.
411
00:18:51,486 --> 00:18:53,838
Really? Well, we'll
just see about that.
412
00:18:54,673 --> 00:18:56,757
What's... what's going on?
413
00:18:56,825 --> 00:18:58,058
Oh...
414
00:18:58,126 --> 00:19:00,979
Dougie, I can't back
your sandwich shop.
415
00:19:01,513 --> 00:19:02,647
What?
416
00:19:02,782 --> 00:19:05,433
I'm so sorry, but I'm
gonna go with Danny
417
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:07,835
because he's my son,
418
00:19:07,903 --> 00:19:09,271
and I love him.
419
00:19:09,972 --> 00:19:11,590
And I love you.
420
00:19:11,658 --> 00:19:12,874
I know.
421
00:19:13,909 --> 00:19:15,427
So come on, son.
422
00:19:15,495 --> 00:19:17,896
Let's go talk about
your new ideas.
423
00:19:17,964 --> 00:19:19,998
I'd like that, dad.
424
00:19:20,066 --> 00:19:22,335
I'll see you tonight, kids.
425
00:19:22,402 --> 00:19:25,588
Oh, hey, Carrie, thanks
for making this happen.
426
00:19:34,199 --> 00:19:37,701
Well, I think I finally figured
out what the smell is.
427
00:19:39,771 --> 00:19:41,972
The stink of betrayal.
428
00:19:48,079 --> 00:19:50,130
I can't run a business.
429
00:19:50,198 --> 00:19:52,400
I was born to run a business.
430
00:19:53,736 --> 00:19:55,153
Dougie, watch the counter.
431
00:19:55,220 --> 00:19:57,805
I gotta finish unpackin' these
faucet handles back here.
432
00:19:57,874 --> 00:19:59,741
Is this coupon still valid?
433
00:19:59,808 --> 00:20:01,843
I need to return this, but
I don't have a receipt.
434
00:20:01,911 --> 00:20:03,345
Can you take it off
my charge card,
435
00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:04,881
or do I have to get
a store credit?
436
00:20:04,948 --> 00:20:06,581
This car key works fine.
437
00:20:06,648 --> 00:20:10,085
Now, let's see, that's 76 cents.
Here's $1.01.
438
00:20:17,995 --> 00:20:20,062
Hold it, hold it, hold it!
439
00:20:20,130 --> 00:20:21,880
That's 2 dimes you just gave me.
440
00:20:21,948 --> 00:20:23,517
I gave you $1.01.
441
00:20:23,584 --> 00:20:25,902
You understand? $1.01.
442
00:21:51,294 --> 00:21:53,261
Face on a cap.
443
00:21:53,329 --> 00:21:55,213
Face on a cap.
444
00:21:55,281 --> 00:21:57,048
Face on a cap!
32064
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