All language subtitles for Steel.Magnolias.2012.DVDRip.XViD-VH-PROD-eng

(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

Come on, here we go.

There you go. (DOG BARKING)

Oh, shh. Cut the lights.

Who's out there?

(LAUGHING)

Who's out there?

SHELBY: You should marry a woman
who can give you a family.

JACKSON: I'm marrying the woman I love.
That's who I'm marrying.

You want children, don't lie.

I get it. I understand
everything that you're saying,

everything that
you're telling me,

but it doesn't make
a difference to me.

It doesn't make
a difference to me.

I know we talked about it before, but I am
telling you right now that it is a fact.

I saw the doctor two days ago.

We can adopt 25 million babies.
It doesn't matter to me.

You say that now.

Don't be stupid now.

Now just stop the car.
I can walk from here.

Shelby, please.

You call it off now, we have
to give back all the presents.

PlayStation Vita worth getting
married for, isn't it?

Sleep on it, Jackson.

I love you.

I love you, too. That's why.

Hey, I expect to see you
in the church tomorrow.

We'II both sleep on it.

You don't mean it.

Shelby!

(SIGHS)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

(SIGHS) (CELL PHONE BUZZING)

(CELL PHONE BUZZING)

Get back over to Aunt Laura's. You know
it's bad luck to see me before the wedding.

So you are gonna marry me?

Go before my mama sees you!

Say it. Say you're
gonna marry me.

Okay, she's gonna
cut your thing off.

Say it.

I'm gonna marry you.

Two o'clock?

Do you want it in writing?

Two o'clock?
The Methodist Church.

But how will I recognize you?

AII those men in tuxedos
start to look alike.

I swear I'm gonna
make you happy.

We'II see.

(EXCLAIMS)

(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)

(GUN FIRES) (BIRDS CAWING)

(LAUGHING)

Is this all you brought?

Where's Myrtle? Is she here?

(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)

(TV PLAYING)

(SWITCHES OFF TV)

I'm Annelle, about the job?

You want my wife.

Go on back.

Thank you.

I'm real sorry I
woke up your husband.

Oh, don't apologize for
getting him off the couch.

I've been trying for weeks.

Poor man is trying
to set a record.

You married, Annelle?

Yes. No. Well, yes.
Only I'm here on my own.

On your own?

Well, don't you have
any family in town?

No, ma'am.

Well, where you staying?

Robeline's boarding house.

I didn't hear a car.

Did you walk all that way?

Yes, ma'am.

Ruth Robeline,
now there's a story.

She's a twisted, troubled soul.

Her life's been an
experiment in terror.

Husband run off
with her best friend,

only son killed in Iraq.

I have to tell you, when
it comes to suffering,

she's right up there
with the blessed savior.

Hmm.

I usually
get them a lot tighter.

I'm a little nervous.

Oh, you don't
want them too tight.

Your technique is good.

In my class at the trade
school, I was number one.

There's a apron
hanging over there.

Why don't you put it on?

That is, if you want the job.

Oh, I do, very much!
Thank you so much!

I'II work real hard.

Count on that.

Now if you haven't
had your coffee,

grab a cup before
the bride gets here,

and be prepared to be busier
than a one-armed paper hanger.

Now, listen, Annelle,

my ladies only get the best.

I've never lost a client to the
Kut and Kurl or the Beauty Box.

You know why?

Because your ladies
get only the best?

Because I have a philosophy that
I've stuck with for 15 years.

There is no such thing
as natural beauty.

You think you can
remember that?

There's no such thing
as natural beauty.

(GUN FIRING)

Take one of these pills.
Ignorant man.

Just take one of the pills.

One of the pills!

Come on, look at me, look at me.
Take a pill, take a pill.

(GUN FIRES)

Thurman, Thurman,
get back here!

Yes, I need to speak to Myrtle.

Well, then I'II hold.

Mama. Mama, this color
is drying way too dark.

It looks like a stuck pig
bled all over my hands.

Look up in my bathroom. I'm
sure I have something pink.

It has to be delicate.

Okay, well, if I don't
have something,

we'II send one of
your brothers to the store.

Oh, that's
a perfect idea, Mama.

I'd love to see what
Tommy would pick out.

(LAUGHING) Don't put
ice down my back!

You should've drowned
him at birth.

Shelby, get that out of there.

Mama, my nails are wet.

Oh, shoot.

Yes, Myrtle, it's M'Lynn.

Listen, we're short
champagne glasses.

(GUN FIRING) (BIRDS CAWING)

Drum, I'm on the phone!

A hundred to be safe.

I mean, there's two dozen that came broken.
I swear, at least two dozen.

Thank you.

There's got to be a better way
to get rid of those birds.

Well, talk to 'em. Ask 'em to please
change their migratory pattern.

I'm sure they'II
listen to reason.

(GUN FIRES) (BIRDS CAWING)

You the one told him to
send those birds packing.

Well, I didn't tell him to alienate
our neighbors in the process.

Hmm. Neighbors would
be a lot more alienated

if they get covered in
bird crap at my reception.

Nice talk, bridezilla.

You think Truvy has
a delicate pink?

'Cause, I mean...

I'II call her. I'II call her.

(HORN HONKING)

Morning, Clairee.

CLAIREE: Morning, Truvy.

You found somebody
to replace Jasmine.

Just this morning.

She says she's married,
but she's in town all alone.

Got a room at Ruth Robeline's.

I'd get to the bottom
of this if I were you,

assuming you want to
wake up tomorrow morning

still in possession
of your good silver.

Oh, I just love the idea of
someone with a past.

She can't be more than 19. She hasn't
had time to get herself a past.

Child, it's the age
of Facebook.

If you can type,
you can achieve a past.

Annelle, come
meet Clairee Belcher,

first lady of Chinquapin.

Former first lady.

Her late husband was our mayor.

Belcher Stadium's
named after him.

Our football team voted Clairee
all kinds of special titles.

I have the pom-poms
to prove it.

Pleased to meet you.

Pleased to meet you, too.

Where you from, Annelle?

Um, Zwolle.

Ooh, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

(LAUGHING)

I'm sorry.

You don't have to be
nervous around me, darling.

I bark, but Ouiser's the biter.

(CHUCKLES)

Where the sports section?

Okay.

SHELBY: Mama!

Mama. Ma...

What are you doing?
We are so late!

I can't find my keys.

Jonathan, look upstairs.
See if you can find them.

And that better
not be wedding food.

I'II go.

Where's your father?

His coffee kicked in.

(SIGHS)

SHELBY: Sitting right
on top of the dresser.

I cannot think what Sigmund
Freud would say. I'm driving.

No, you know I get carsick.

Uh-oh.

You get up here.
Don't trip me, Thurman.

Miss Ouiser. Back door!

Back door!

(LAUGHING)

Come on. Let's see.

Drum! M'Lynn! Open up.
I know y'all in there.

I think somebody's at the door!

Yeah, I think it's for daddy!

That's funny.

Ouiser!

You look like hammered doodoo.

Don't talk to me like that.

Okay, okay. I'm sorry.

You look like regular doodoo.

I have a bone to pick with you.

Pick it!

My vet says that all this noise
you've been making off in here

the last few days has given
Thurman a nervous condition

and made his hair fall out.

I had to put him on sedatives!

Your vet is a moron.

I'm not even sure he
has opposable thumbs.

So if you will excuse me,
I have yard work to do.

(LAUGHING)

Drum, get back here!

BOTH: Hey, Miss Ouiser.
Leave me alone.

Hey! I'm talking to you.

Get back here!

I'II be damned, Drum. I don't
know whether I'm going or coming.

Oh, yeah, I heard you
got so screwed up,

you cut your dog
out of your will

and had an ungrateful
nephew put to sleep.

Listen to me.

I am at the end
of my rope here.

Then tie a noose in it
and slip it over your head.

Whoa!

Ouiser, I don't want
to have to kill you.

Boys, bring me my gun.

Do not threaten me, buster.
I will call the police.

I have a zillion, trillion blackbirds to
scare away before Shelby's reception.

If I don't, I got
my wife to deal with,

and I make it a point
never to deal with my wife.

My dog, my baby dog,
is on his last legs.

What am I supposed
to do with the poor thing?

Make him a weave,
serve him up on toast.

It's all the same to me.

You coming to Shelby's
reception looking like that?

You going straight to hell.

Oh, maybe you should scare off the
birds and save me the trouble.

Thomas Drummond Eatenton, did you
get these magnolias off my tree?

The judge hasn't decided
who exactly owns that tree.

I don't need a judge
to tell me what's mine.

Shut up, chuckleheads.

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

Now where is the other thing you were
talking about, cuppa, cuppa, cuppa?

No, this one's kind of
mauve, don't you think?

Cup of flour, cup of sugar,
cup of fruit cocktail

with the juice, mix, bake at
350 till gold and bubbly.

What are your colors, honey?

Oh, it's blush and bashful.

Sounds awfully rich.

Her colors are pink and pink.

I just serve it over ice
cream to cut the sweetness.

My colors are
blush and bashful.

They are two
different shades of pink.

One is much deeper
than the other one,

even if some people
cannot see it.

This is so exciting!

(LAUGHING)

I feel like I'm present
at the creation.

There's something so wondrous
about a way a bride looks.

SHELBY: Ooh, wait till
you see the church!

AII the walls are banked
with sprays of flowers

in the two different
shades of blush and bashful.

And there's a pink carpet laid
out especially for the service.

Ooh, ooh, and pink silk bunting draped
over anything that'II stand still.

The sanctuary looks like it's
been hosed down in Pepto-Bismol.

(LAUGHING)

I like pink. Pink is
my signature color.

I think Annelle can
roll you up.

Are you sure?
It's such a special day.

Oh, I'm sure you'II do
a beautiful job.

It don't matter what
I look like anyway.

Doesn't your dress have
to go over your head?

Girl, you cannot
screw up her style.

Just as long as you give her that
long "flow to the floor" Iook,

then you've got
nothing to worry about.

She's always worn it
the same way.

Didn't we decide you were
gonna wear your hair up?

Oh, we decided to have braids.

Well, up is better
with the veil.

Yes, but Jackson likes my hair down
because he says it looks sexy.

He sounds real romantic.

Well, he does give me flowers and
presents, if I beg him enough.

Aww. The last romantic
thing Spud did

was enclose this carport so I
could help with the mortgage.

Jackson's promised to give me
pink roses on every anniversary,

corresponding to the number of
years that we've been married.

Hmm.

That's a real sweet idea.

It was mine, but I didn't
charge him for it.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Jackson's a good catch, Shelby.

Yeah, I thought he
was a pest at first,

but somehow,
he just grew on me.

And now I can't imagine
my life without him.

That's how it was with
me and Lloyd.

We missed it to 40 years by
three months, the stinker.

Oh, bless his heart, he tried.

Well, at least he hung on
through the state playoffs.

Hey.

Just to grow old together
and sit on the back porch,

shouting at a bunch of
misbehaving grandkids,

that's my dream.

Oh, it's good to see a pretty
girl at the starting gate

just as I'm crossing
the finish line.

There are still good times
ahead, Miss Clairee!

The season's coming.

I do love football.

I don't know if I can parlay
LSU into a raison d'etre.

One good thing about
marrying a lawyer

is you'II never have to work.

Lawyers do well whether
they want to or not.

I'm not just going to quit
nursing just because I can.

I'm sure Jackson don't want to
see you on your feet all day.

Oh, I'm just so anxious to discuss this
topic for the 900th time this week.

It's not just me.
Your father agrees.

Miss Truvy, would you
mind turning up the music?

It just takes the pressure
off having to talk so much.

Seen my gun?

Come on, get off your
butt and help me find it.

Full body search!

Get off of me!

What's wrong with you? Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Save it for
the battlefield, son.

Look what we need is a
weapon of mass destruction.

I said I was tired,
and Jackson swore

he was taking me straight home.

Girl, please, tell the truth.

We drove down to the lake.

Nothing like moonlight
on that water.

And I dared him
to go skinny-dipping.

We did things that
frightened the fish.

That's all I'm gonna say.
M'LYNN: Shelby, please.

That's all I'm saying!

(ALL LAUGHING)

It's been a long time since we
had a youngster in the place.

We just talked
and talked and talked.

Oh, I love those kind of talks
in the arms of the man you love.

Yeah. Well, then we
got into a big fight,

and I told him
the wedding was off.

You told him what?

Why would you do
a thing like that?

No, we worked it out.

Oh, Shelby. Now, that was not a
nice thing to do to your mama.

You should never say things
like that to a woman

who's marinating
50 pounds of crab claws.

I don't know if I mind a fight.

Making up can be extremely
romantic if memory serves.

M'LYNN: You and Spud
aren't fighting anymore?

He'd have to get up
off the couch first.

I tell him he's not the only one
who can't find work these days.

But how does that help?

He just sits there,
sleeping with his eyes open,

staring at the TV.

He should talk to
somebody, Truvy.

Spud, see a shrink?

(TRUVY SCOFFS)

(TRUVY SCOFFS)

(TRUVY SIGHS)

Ah, come on, honey. Shelby,
just hold your head up.

Stop it.

Shelby?

Shelby?

I'II get some juice.

Truvy, I got some
candy in my purse.

Shelby, hold on, baby.

I got some peppermint
right here.

AII right, here.
Here's peppermint.

Shelby, hang on, honey.

Clairee's getting you
some juice.

Should I get her a cookie?

No, no, no, juice is better.
Here's the juice.

Here. Stop it, Mama!

Drink. Drink the juice.

Drink the juice, baby. No.

No!

Stop it, Mama,
I got candy in my purse.

You didn't bring your
purse today, honey. Here.

No, no! M'LYNN: Come on.

AII this damn wedding
nonsense and running around.

I'm gonna leave if you
don't leave me alone.

I'd like to see you try.

Shelby, cooperate, please.

Just drink the juice, baby.

M'LYNN: Come on.

That's it.

There we go.

That's a start.

Excuse me, should I
call a doctor or something?

She's diabetic.

That one hit her quick.

Yeah, she definitely got too
much insulin, that's all.

Father God.

That Dr. Michoud like to
broke her heart Tuesday.

With her chronic kidney condition,
having babies is out of the question.

She dreaded telling Jackson.

Don't you talk about me
like I'm not here.

Yeah, yeah, she's
making sense now.

See, it's not so bad.

You just need a
little bit more juice.

ANNELLE: Can I do something?
Should I...

No, no, no. No, she'II be
fine in just a minute.

She probably won't
remember anything.

Don't make a fuss. Shelby hates a fuss.
Come on, baby.

I'm so sorry about the
doctor's visit, M'Lynn.

She kept asking, "What
is Jackson gonna say?"

He said, "Shelby,
don't be stupid."

"There's plenty of kids
who need good homes."

"We'II adopt 10 of them."

"We'II buy them if we have to."

That Jackson sounds like
good people to me.

If he's dumb enough to marry
me, I guess I should grab him.

Oh, gosh, uh...

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry, Mama.

Just finish your juice.

There we go.

This is it.

I have found it. I'm in hell.

Thurman, be quiet!

(LAUGHING)

I couldn't leave him at home.
He'd tear that place up.

Morning, Ouiser.

Oh, don't try to get
on my good side.

I no longer have one.

This is the biter
I told you about.

Lowlifes.

I used to think you were
crazy for marrying that man.

Then, for a while, I thought,

she a glutton for punishment.

Now I realize

you are on a mission from God.

Your man threatened to put
a bullet through my head.

He is shooting blanks,
Miss Ouiser.

Drum would never
aim a gun at a lady.

Oh, he a real gentleman.

I bet you he takes the dishes out
the sink before he pees in it.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Who the hell are you?

Annelle. Annelle? That's it?

Like Beyonce? Annelle Dupuy.

She graduated top of her class.

I'm real lucky to have her.

I know everybody, and I am
sure I don't know any Dupuys.

That your family name,
or are you married?

I don't know.

I mean, I'm not sure.

These are not
difficult questions.

The police say that my
marriage may not be legal.

The police?

Well, what does your
husband say?

Nothing, since he
disappeared last week.

Disappeared?

Oh, hell, you better
drag the river.

What you mean he disappeared?
Where'd he go?

AII the money's gone and the
car and my gold earrings,

the ones that belonged
to my grandma.

He's in big trouble
with the law.

Well, I should think so.

Well, what did he do?

ANNELLE: Drugs is
what the police said.

AII my clothes were
in the trunk of that car.

Checks are bouncing everywhere.

It can't get much worse.

Oh, yes, it can. Just you wait.

Men are the most
horrible creatures.

They'II ruin your life.

Oh, honey, you should've
said something.

Am I fired?

No, you're not fired.
Is she, Truvy?

Of course not.

I was afraid I wouldn't get hired if
you knew, and I need a job so bad.

I swear that
my personal tragedy

will not interfere with my
ability to do good hair.

It better not.

(CHUCKLES)

There's no doubt in my mind.

You've been through such a terrible
time, and you're so brave.

What's your
dress size, Annelle?

You know, I bet you I've got some
clothes that'II fit you just fine.

I want you to come to
my wedding reception.

Oh, I don't know.

Yes. Now, look, I can't stand the
thought of anybody being unhappy

or alone today, so, you know,

if you feel yourself getting sad,
just watch my husband dance.

You'II get the giggles.
I know I do.

(ALL LAUGHING)

It's gonna be a great party.

Okay, let 'er rip.

Bye-bye, blackbird.

(FIRECRACKERS EXPLODING)

(BIRDS SQUAWKING)

(BARKING)

What the hell?

Oh, my Lord, that's your place.

Oh, Lord, I hope
nobody got hurt.

Oh! Miss Ouiser,
call him, please.

He's gonna eat daddy alive.

Come on, Ouiser, call your dog.
You know he'II listen to you.

Miss Ouiser, please,
it is my wedding day.

Please just say
something to your dog.

Thurman, kill!

Kill, Thurman!

Oh, I hope the rain holds off.

Oh, this is perfect
weather for me.

On cloudy days, I feel God's
not trying very hard,

so I don't have to either.

I don't function when it's hot.

She does sweat profusely.

Thank you, Mama.

Heat never bothers me.
I love it.

But spicy food makes me sweat,

especially on top of my head.

(LAUGHING)

M'Lynn.

You were right. I should've
worn my hair up.

No, it's perfect.

M'Lynn.

(SIGHS)

Good.

There we go. Okay.

Real love in a world
full of make believe.

Oh, oh.

We've got something real, girl.

Real love.

Ooh, yes.

Real love.

CLAIREE: Drum?

It's time.

Drum.

Too many firecrackers.
Not good for hearing.

It's time.

We've got something real, girl.

Real love.

Ooh, ah.

Real love.

WOMAN: Go ahead now.

AII right.

For the whole world to see.

Whole world, now, baby.

There you go.

(SHOUTS) Beautiful.

Oh, am I talking too loud?

No, Daddy, you're just fine.

(WEDDING MARCH PLAYING)

MINISTER: Who gives
this woman in marriage?

Her mother and I do.

(ALL LAUGHING)

The rings, please.

Thank you.

All the shorties in the club.

Let me see you just.

Push it up, push it up.

Let me see you just.

Wobble, baby, wobble, baby
wobble, baby, wobble, yeah.

Wobble, baby, wobble, baby
wobble, baby, wobble, yeah.

Wobble, baby, wobble, baby
wobble, baby, wobble, yeah.

Wobble, baby, wobble, baby
wobble, baby, wobble, yeah.

Get in there.

Yeah, yeah.

Get in there.

Yeah, yeah.

Get in there.

What can I get you?

Uh, nothing. No, thanks.

It's free.

Um, I don't know.

Come on, what will it be?

Can you make a cherry Coke?

CLAIREE: Aww.

I miss Lloyd.

You miss being
the mayor's wife.

No, we had good times together.

It's no fun going
out by myself.

Then stay at home.

If I go out with another
couple, I'm a third wheel.

If I go out with you, we just
a couple of old biddies.

Uh-oh. Speak for yourself.

Please eat some of
the groom's cake.

Nobody's eating it.

Jackson's aunt made the cake in
the shape of a giant armadillo.

(LAUGHS)

I can't even think how
she made gray icing.

Come on, please.

Hell, come on.

A girl told me that
a man that can dance.

Might could possibly get down
with a tool in his pants.

Now, all my ladies
let me see you...

Wanna dance?

No. (CLEARS THROAT)

You go ahead.

Wobble, baby, wobble, baby
wobble, baby, wobble, yeah.

Wobble, baby, wobble, baby
wobble, baby, wobble, yeah.

OUISER: Are we
supposed to eat this?

Hey, Ouiser.

I'm not talking to you.
And I mean it.

Truce.

Come on, Ouiser.
Cut me a slice.

(CHUCKLES)

Nothing like
a good piece of ass.

(LAUGHS)

(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)

Having fun?

Belle might need a neck brace.

That's a lot of hair
up on top of her head.

TRUVY: Ooh!

I'm surprised at you, talking
about your kin like that.

You know what they say.

If you can't say something nice about
somebody, come stand next to me.

The mayor's wife and she doesn't
even bother to put on Spanx.

Looks like two pigs
fighting under a blanket.

I haven't left the house without Lycra
on these thighs since I was 14.

That's 'cause you
were raised right.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Hey. You're not
leaving, are you?

I just moved here. I don't
really know anybody.

A party's how you meet people.

Sammy.

(CHUCKLING) Nice to meet you...

Uh, Annelle.

Two Ns, two Ls, with an E.

Well, if you stick around
a little longer,

I can give you a ride,
Annelle with an E.

Oh, that's okay.
I like to walk.

You sure? It's no problem.

It was nice meeting you.

(HORN HONKING)

Your brothers are
going to miss you.

I will not miss them.

Please.

That little Annelle looked
sweet in your dress.

Tell her she can keep it.

And give her anything else
I left in my closet.

I hope she had a good time.

We don't know
how lucky we all are.

I know how lucky I am.

Hmm.

Let Jackson take care of you.

I'm gonna make him
wait on me hand and foot.

I mean it.

There's no shame in adopting.

I'd rather not talk
about it, Mama.

What happens in my life now
is between Jackson and me.

We'II take care of each other.

But you heard what I said.

I'm not stupid.

Well, if you was smart,
you'd quit work.

Promise you won't bring that
up every time you call me.

I ain't gonna call.

Not gonna be one
of those mothers.

Check your email every day.
(LAUGHS)

Don't you dare cry.

I'm not.

(HORN HONKING)

I'ma strangle
the both of y'all.

(CHEERING)

Take care of my baby,
all right?

Bye-bye!

(ENGINE STARTS)

M'Lynn!

(SIGHS)

We wish you a Merry Christmas.

We wish you a Merry Christmas.

We wish you a Merry Christmas.

And a Happy New Year.

Ooh!

Do you wanna give me
a heart attack?

It's too early.
Come back to bed.

You want your breakfast in bed?

Can I see the menu?

Mmm-mmm.

Wait, wait. Where you going?

I'm hungry.

You're always hungry.
You're gonna get fat.

Oh, you bet I am. It's
more of me to love.

There's plenty right
there right now.

Come on, get up. We're only
visiting mama for a few days.

You just gonna leave?

You do this every year.

You do know the whole point
of a tree-trimming party

is for the guests
to do the trimming?

And have it end up lopsided?

We have grapefruit, right?

Shelby, fill this up for
me, baby, would you?

Where's daddy?

He went for his walk.

Hmm.

How long you think he'II be?

I don't know.

Sometimes he likes to stop
for coffee at the firehouse.

What's wrong?

We heard back
from another agency.

Soon as they get a peek
at my medical records,

I'm "not optimal."

You know, Shelby, if it's
a question of money...

We decided not to adopt.

We don't have to.

I'm two months pregnant.

I wanted to tell you and
daddy at the same time,

but I can't seem to get the two
of you alone together, so...

Mama, say something.

I'm gonna have a baby.

Yes, I heard you.

Is that? Is that
all you're gonna say?

How about "congratulations"?

Look, you have to help me plan.

We're gonna get a new house.

Jackson and I are going
house-hunting next week.

You know Jackson
loves to hunt, so...

Does Jackson ever listen?

I mean, when you get advice
from doctors and specialists...

I know you don't like
to listen, but does he?

I guess since he ain't carrying
the baby, he's not so concerned.

Shh! Mama, he gonna hear you.

Nobody hears me.

Diabetics have healthy
babies all the time.

Not with chronic
kidney disease.

I found a doctor in Monroe who
specializes in high-risk birth.

And he already sent me to a
dietician and an eye doctor.

And, look, I got the best
baby nurse in the world...

Me!

I'm back on tight control.
I... I'm...

You already had twice as
many glucose reactions...

Mama, I'm checking my
levels 10 times a day.

There's limits to
what you can do.

Jackson's so excited.

He says he doesn't care
whether it's a boy or a girl,

but I'm guessing, deep
down, he wants a boy.

Jackson Junior.

I need a child of my own.

(SIGHS)

I see.

Wish you could be happy.

Your poor body has
been through so much.

Does he know what he's asking?

He didn't ask.
It was my decision.

I don't believe that
for a minute.

You want to be the only one to
tell me what I can and can't do.

You just ready to spit nails
because you don't call the shots.

You know what?
It's just like the tree.

Nobody can trim it but you.

Nobody says what
goes where but you.

You no longer have any
say-so in my life, Mama,

and you know it,
and you can't stand it.

I didn't raise my daughter
to talk to me that way.

Shelby.

Shelby!

No, I don't want
the doctor on call.

I want to speak to Dr. Miller.

It's important.
It's about my daughter.

Thank you.

DRUM: Let it be, M'Lynn.

She told you. Mmm-hmm.

I want her to see
Dr. Miller before she goes.

She's got her doctor in Monroe.
She's going to be fine.

You don't know that.

Who said she couldn't
get a driver's license?

(SIGHING) I don't want
to play this game.

Who said?

I did.

Not one accident. Who said she
couldn't go camping with the scouts?

You never want
to be the bad guy.

And you're always looking
for the worst to happen.

Only so it won't.

I could kill Jackson right now.

It's my experience that
Eatenton women got veto power.

Come.

You think you're too young
to be grandma, is that it?

Shut up, Drum. (CHUCKLING)

We won't let that kid
call you grandma.

We gonna come up with some cute
name like (BABYISHLY) "mee-mee."

(BABYISHLY) Moo-moo.
Mee-mee, moo-moo.

(LAUGHING) Oh! AII right,
all right. Stop it.

(CHUCKLING)

You made that all by yourself?

Yes. The Baptist bookstore in
Shreveport had a fire sale last month.

They had mismatched manger
scenes at incredibly low prices.

I cleaned them out
of their baby Jesuses,

and Sammy helped me
with the tiny lights.

Baby Jesus and hair beads, that is
positively inspirational. (CHUCKLING)

Hi, M'Lynn. Hey, y'all.
How y'all doing?

Look, I just need
my usual real quick.

I got a lot more cooking
to do for tonight.

Ouiser, you're still gonna bring
by your shrimp meat pies, right?

I certainly am. AII right.

Hey, Clairee.

I saw your niece, Sally Beth,
won Miss Merry Christmas again,

and next year, I'm betting.

She's gonna wear that
tiara till her grave.

She made me put
so much hairspray on her,

she's gonna have to
dynamite it off her head.

(ALL CHUCKLING)

That Sally Beth
is a pretty girl.

Beauty's genetic in my family.

Empty is the head
that wears the crown.

I entered the Miss Dairy
Queen my senior year.

Miss Clairee, who won
the title your year?

Oh, child, please, there was no Christmas
festival when I was in high school.

Jesus wasn't even born till
I was a junior in college.

Oh, you've got to admit, God did a little
dance around that brother of yours.

Drew is so successful.

That little Miss Merry Christmas
and Marshall are perfect.

That Belle doesn't have
a care in the world.

Oh, I'm not so sure about that.

Yep, yeah, every family
has its issues.

But Belle and I want to expose
ourselves to a little bit more culture

that's not easy to come by
in this neck of the woods,

so we're thinking about
a theater trip to New York...

(TOILET FLUSHING) ...and,
Ouiser, you should come.

I'm not exposing
myself to anything.

Why not? It would benefit you
to broaden your horizons.

You broaden your horizons your
way, I'II broaden mine my way.

I'm gonna get my colors done.
Your what?

See, every person has a particular
coloring, summer, spring, so on.

You determine
what season you are,

and then you know what
colors look best on you.

It's most helpful
when you go shopping.

It gives you fashion courage,
like Miss Michelle Obama.

CLAIREE: You wear purple
with everything.

I don't know how much
more courage you need.

I am going to go
support the arts.

I support the arts. I just
don't want to see 'em.

It's not going to change the
shape of your top lip, Ouiser.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Let's get one thing straight,
I do not go to plays,

because I can nap
at home for free.

I don't see movies, because they all
trash and full of naked people.

And I don't read books,
because if they're any good,

they're gonna be made
into a miniseries.

AII right, Miss Ouiser,
why don't you support this?

(SOFT SONG PLAYING)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(GROANING)

Oh, Truvy, I'm so sorry.
Oh, it's...

There's pennies on the counter.

Just stick one in the fuse box.

There's an overload
of goodness.

What is that? TRUVY: Shelby's
not coming in today?

Oh, no, Shelby had to do a
little last-minute shopping.

You know Shelby does what
she wants when she wants.

Mmm, Shelby and that Jackson
look so happy together.

You can't help but smile
at two people in love.

Smile? They need to get a room.

Oh, she just wants to spread
it around, Ouiser, that's all.

Like manure.

Oh, Christmas tree Oh!

(GASPING)
ANNELLE: Isn't it something?

(CAR PULLING UP)
Yeah, it's something.

(LAUGHING)

Excuse me just a second.

Oh, Christmas tree.

You stand in verdant beauty.

Your boughs are green
in summer's glow.

And do not fade in winter snow.

Spud.

Rolly Bassett got the contract.

His bid was $6,000 under mine.

$6,000.

He owns his own equipment.
I don't.

(SIGHING)

We don't have to go to M'Lynn's tonight.
(SIGHING)

I got some fried shrimp. We could
have a picnic on the dock.

Watch the fireworks?

No, you go ahead to M'Lynn's.
I'm happy right here.

You always love the fireworks.
(CHUCKLING)

I've seen them, Truvy.
Go ahead.

Spud... Get off my back, Truvy.

Please.

(SIGHING)

(FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING)
Hi, Shelby.

(FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING)
Hi, Shelby.

How are you?

Hey, what's up? Merry Christmas.
You look beautiful.

M'Lynn just threw me
out of the kitchen.

She said she didn't
need my help.

Does she seem
kind of touchy to you?

'Tis the season.
Show some Christmas spirit.

I got so much Christmas
spirit, I could spit tinsel.

Hell, I decorated my yard.

"Keep off the grass" signs are not
Christmas decorations, Ouiser.

They're bordered in holly.

(CHUCKLING)

WOMAN: We'II be right back.

After the marriage was annulled,
I was a real Jezebel,

drinking, smoking,
staying out all hours.

And now she a regular
church lady.

She got a steady beau,
praise the Lord.

I did Miss Ouiser's wig.
You like it?

SHELBY: Yeah, I do, and so
will my surprise guest.

I've invited somebody
who remembers you fondly.

Must be someone with dementia.

An old beau?

Guess. I do not play
games, little girl.

Remember Owen Jenkins?

Blast from the past!
Where'd you find him?

Monroe. (CHUCKLING)

But he's moving back here,
and he's widowed.

I can't say that
I do recall any Jerkins.

Jenkins. She's lying.

(LAUGHING)

Miss Shelby, I managed,
in just a few decades,

to marry the two most worthless
men in the universe,

then proceeded to have three of the most
ungrateful children ever conceived.

The only reason
people are nice to me

is because I got
more money than God.

I am not about to open up
a new can of worms.

Now, you know that negative
attitude M'Lynn told you about.

You need to talk to someone
at the guidance center.

I'm not crazy.

I've just been in a very
bad mood for 40 years.

OWEN: Hello, Louisa.

You recognize me?

Hello, Owen.

Did you shrink?

You look terrific. You've
hardly changed at all.

Well, I'm not as sweet
as I used to be.

SHELBY: Daddy's waiting on
you for the Christmas toast.

AII right, I'II be right down.

I'm sorry about
this morning. I...

I didn't mean...

I know you want me to be happy.

It's what you always said, to me,
to Jonathan, to Tommy. You said...

You said, "Just be happy. That's all I
want for my kids." Isn't that right?

What makes me happy
is having this baby.

Yes, I know.

I just wish you could be happy.

(SIGHS) I wish...

(SIGHING)

I don't know what I wish.

As long as we're alive, there's
risk for every one of us.

Things happen.

And you get through,
and life goes on.

I mean, you're the one, you...

You convinced me I could do
anything I set my heart on.

I set my heart on this, Mama.

I want it.

I would rather have 30 minutes
of something wonderful

than a lifetime of
nothing special.

(LAUGHING)

Oh, oh. Excuse me.

Hey.

If I could just
take a moment...

Merry Christmas.

ALL: Merry Christmas.

Peace on earth
and good, tall women!

(MEN LAUGHING) Really, Drum?

Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.
There's more, there's more.

Today, my daughter
told me a big secret.

Shelby, come up here.

"Secret" being
the operative word.

DRUM: Oh, shh, shh, shh!

I ain't gonna tell
them you pregnant.

(COLLECTIVE GASPS)

I'm just gonna say,
I'm gonna be a grandpa!

Oh, my God.

To Jackson and Shelby.

ALL: To Jackson and Shelby.

(LAUGHTER)

No wonder you're acting
so funny all day.

I'd bust if I'd had to keep a
secret like that. (CHUCKLING)

Congratulations, grandmommy.

Thanks, Clairee.

And the doctors said she couldn't have children.
Now, what do they know?

The doctor said she
shouldn't have children.

It's a big difference.

This baby's not exactly
great news, is it?

You okay?

CLAIREE: M'Lynn,
she'II be fine.

It's what she wants.

I wish I had
the right words for you.

Truvy's dry.
Now there's a first.

I suggest we focus on the
joy of the situation.

TRUVY: I agree.

Your first grandchild.

How about that?

Well, people with diabetes have
healthy babies all the time.

This is one of those times.

I can feel it in my bones.

I'd put my money
on those bones.

I'm in.

That which does not kill
us makes us stronger.

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

MAN: Oh, yeah!

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

(BREATHING HEAVILY) Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, I'm here.

Okay.

Okay, just breathe, breathe.
Breathe. Uh-huh.

(GROANS) You're
doing great, baby.

You're doing great. Uh-huh.

Yeah. I know, I'm
good, I'm good.

Yeah, give me that baby.

Come here.

(MURMURING)

(CONTINUES MURMURING)

Mmm.

Hi.

Hi.

(MURMURING) (DRUM CHUCKLING)

(CAMERA CLICKING)

BOTH: Happy birthday
happy birthday.

Happy birthday, hey.

Happy birthday happy birthday
Happy birthday, hey.

Happy birthday!

(APPLAUSE) Make a wish.

Wait, wait, wait for his mama to get...
Oh, here you go. Okay.

Come on, buddy. It's like
a duck whistle, just...

Make a wish, baby, come on.

DRUM: Ah! Like this.

(CHUCKLING) You are
scaring the baby!

Hey... Hey, now.

(ALL GRUMBLING)

(INDISTINCT)

(GIGGLING)

I want to cut my hair.

Today.

Now. You think Truvy
could fit me in?

(SIGHING)

Oh, munchkin.

SHELBY: Anybody knock
on my door after dark,

and I'd have been
screaming, calling 911.

At my age, a knock after
dark is a dream come true.

When I saw my nephew's face,
it was a major letdown.

TRUVY: I think it's awful of Drew
to throw his son out of the house.

My brother can be a hothead.

And you know Marshall, he marches
in from New York, unexpected,

without so much as a hello.

"Mama, Daddy, they found a tumor in my brain.
I have six weeks to live."

Naturally, they were hysterical.
TRUVY: Naturally.

And then he says, "Calm
down, I'm just joking."

"The real news is, I'm gay."

(ALL CHUCKLING)

TRUVY: But that's
a relief, isn't it?

It apparently was not.

Drew got to carrying on,
throwing wet shrimp. (CHUCKLING)

I adore Marshall.

We stayed up
half the night talking.

Oh, wow.

I did what you wanted,
didn't I?

Yes, you know, you did a beautiful job.
It's just...

Mama?

M'LYNN: Come here, baby.

It's perfect.

It's gonna look so cute when it's wet.
It's gonna curl right up.

Don't your mama look pretty?
Look at your mama.

Oh, bless his little heart.

Oh, please, honey, don't cry.

If you cry, I will, too.

No one cries alone in my presence.
It's company policy.

It's adorable.

Your hair hasn't been cut that
short since kindergarten.

It's very becoming. Mmm-hmm.

It's chic. I may cut
mine like that.

It frames your face per... Okay,
okay, okay, okay, I get it.

I'm a convert, okay.
(ALL CHUCKLING)

I'm gonna cut it
every 25 years.

Oh, mama, would you put him
down for his nap for me?

Yeah. Oh, look, he's tired.

Tired, baby?

Now, if you have time, I would
love a manicure and a pedicure,

and mama's gonna have one, too.
Oh!

I don't need one. Yes, you do.

Well, maybe I'II add a sauna
and call this place a spa.

Amen.

TRUVY: Amen.

Annelle, could you please
fill the tub for a pedicure?

Okay.

Was she praying? TRUVY: Yes.

Why? Got me.

Maybe she was praying
for Drew and Marshall.

Maybe she was praying for us
because we're gossiping.

Maybe she was praying 'cause
her panties are too tight.

(CHUCKLING) Who knows?

But she prays
at the drop of a hat.

She's born again and saved.

Since when?
CLAIREE: Since Mardi Gras.

She had a choice of going for a Bible
weekend with her Sunday school class,

or going to New Orleans with me
and two other sinners. Mmm-hmm.

She left that Friday a pleasant,
well-adjusted young lady.

She came back on Tuesday
a vessel of the Lord.

Well, what's her boyfriend
got to say about it?

Oh, poor Sammy.

He's so confused,
he don't know whether

to scratch his watch or wind his butt.
(ALL LAUGHING)

He's crazy about her. He says
he can compete with a suitor,

but how's he gonna fight off the
Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost?

(DOOR SQUEAKING)

(DOOR SQUEAKING)

So is Marshall gonna
stay with you now?

Yeah, until he goes back to New York.
SHELBY: Okay.

He's lonely, is my guess. He needs
to get out and meet someone.

I asked him, "When you meet a guy, how
can you tell that he's... You know?"

He says, "AII gay men
have accent lighting."

No! What?

"And all gay men are named
Mark, Rick, or Steve."

(ALL LAUGHING)

That boy likes to pull my leg.
Accent lighting!

Good morning. Hi, Miss Ouiser.

What's so funny?

M'LYNN: Clairee over here telling
us about accent lighting.

I love mine. It highlights
my new artwork.

Since when do you
have accent lighting?

About three weeks. It's all in
the foyer and up the stairs.

It was my grandson's idea.

Which grandson? Steve.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Whoo! You look right chipper
this morning, Ouiser.

What, you run over a small
child or something?

(GIGGLING)

This is a gracious plenty. You
don't have to give me all of them.

You know, I try not to eat
healthy food if I can help it.

The sooner this body wears
out, the better off I'II be.

I can't get enough
grease into my diet.

Then why grow them?

Because I'm an old
Southern lady,

and we're supposed to
put on funny-Iooking hats

and grow vegetables
in the dirt.

I don't make
the rules, Annelle.

And speaking of the rules,

someone has put me on the mailing
list at the Riverview Baptist Church,

and now I'm getting
chain letters from Christ.

They're not chain letters.

They're part of my prayer group's
"reach out and touch" project.

Well, I think it is very bad taste
to pray for perfect strangers.

Shelby, what have you
done to yourself?

Oh, it doesn't even hurt.

TRUVY: M'Lynn, have you seen this?
Yes, I have.

The doctor is just trying to strengthen my veins.
They're in terrible shape.

You look like you've been
driving nails in your arms.

What's going on?

Shall we tell them, Mama?

I guess so. No point in
keeping it a secret.

Shelby has been driving
nails in her arms.

It's my dialysis.

And it's no big thing.

Well, don't look at me
like that.

Look, having Jack Jr. just
put a strain on my kidneys,

and now they're not functioning properly.
That's all. It happens.

That's all?
"That's all, " she says.

Do you do this
dialysis forever?

Well, I suppose I could, but it's
not real convenient, you know,

running back and forth, and trying to
keep up with Jack Jr. and all, so,

nah, I'II just, you know, I'm just
gonna have a kidney transplant

and I'II be just fine.

But is it that easy?
It's real easy.

They do them all the time in Shreveport,
about three, four times a week.

Yeah, she's right.

I mean, my Sunday school class was
praying for one just the other day.

Well, don't you have to be
on a list or something?

Like, don't they have
to find a kidney?

CLAIREE: Oh, they always
find one, Ouiser.

Medical teams, they fly all over
the country in helicopters,

bringing people livers and
hearts and kidneys and such.

And the most impressive thing,

is they carry those organs
in their beer coolers.

Oh, stop.

CLAIREE: I saw it on the news.

Those doctors, they take
out those six packs,

and they throw in some dry ice
and a heart, and off they go.

Well, do you know how
long you have to wait?

Is there something
that we can do?

Can we get your name on top
of a list or something?

Well, you see, I'm real lucky, because I
don't have to wait but for one more day.

Mama is gonna give me
one of hers.

We check in on Sunday. Surgery's
first thing Monday morning.

M'Lynn. TRUVY: What?

The whole family got tested. I'm
just glad I was the best match.

Drum's kidney might
as well be a distillery,

and the boys
are just too young.

Best thing about it is, I'm gonna come up
out of there with a smaller waistline.

(LAUGHING)

They've got to remove two
ribs to get at my kidney.

Well, the supermodels
do it all the time.

OUISER: First thing
Monday morning,

and y'all haven't mentioned it.

Well, my part's easy. Mama's
the one having major surgery.

M'Lynn, you are brave.

How's Drum taking all this?

You know Drum gets emotional
at the slightest thing.

Well, we'II make sure he has enough
food, and Ouiser'II keep him calm.

Count on me.

And when you wake up, I'II be
sitting right by your side.

Yours, too, Shelby.

Oh, Annelle, do you think that
I could please have my hair?

You see, I just had
it my whole life.

Just seems kind of wrong to throw it out.
Is that weird?

I'II get a bag.

You've had your kidney
your whole life.

You gonna bring that
home in a bag, too?

Well, you know, now that you just
gave me that idea, I just might.

Ouiser!

This is no laughing matter.

I'm guessing there's
been enough tears.

(SIGHS)

I shouldn't have said that.

Oh, yeah, that was disgusting.
Bringing home a kidney in a bag.

Before that, when I said that I'd be
better off when my body wears out.

I feel so ashamed I said
that in front of Shelby.

You know I didn't mean that.

Ouiser, nobody pays
attention to you.

Well, I feel bad.
I'm a terrible person.

Ouiser! You'd give your damn
dog a kidney if he needed one.

Hell. Was there
a sale on beans?

(LAUGHING) OUISER: This is
supposed to be a gesture.

We're not feeding him
till the end of time.

Drum loves pork and beans. Now,
he eats it with everything.

Well, that explains a lot.

CLAIREE: Come on, Ouiser. Let's sort
this stuff out and get over to M'Lynn's.

(ALL LAUGHING)

That ain't funny.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, look,
look, no more transplant jokes.

Daddy doesn't like it.

Okay, okay. Um, mom, do you have any.
Um, internal organs?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Okay, I gotta put
the little one to bed.

Aw, come on. So much for our card game.
What now?

SHELBY: Hey, come here.

Pick something old.
Black and white.

Nothing dirty.

Night, Daddy.

Love you. Oh, you'II
like this one, Dad.

Classic black and white,
no nudity.

A Tale Of Two Kidneys.

(ALL LAUGHING)

DRUM: Come here!

(ALL LAUGHING)

I'm picking the movie.

Nah, let ma pick.
It's her night.

Ah, I don't care, long as
there ain't no zombies in it.

Who want a sandwich?

Tuna with cheese!

With everything.
Thank you, Mom.

M'LYNN: Okay. Thank you.

M'Lynn, can I help
with something?

No, I got this.

You can help Shelby
with the baby.

What you're doing
for Shelby, for us,

it's just...

I'm so grateful.

Shelby's my daughter.

I wish it was me going
in with her tomorrow.

A man can't help
his blood type.

I didn't ask Shelby
to have a baby.

M'Lynn?

I believe you.

I just wanted her to be happy.

You want to blame me for
something, blame me for that.

I should've said no. I should've
been a man and said no.

And if you had,
where would Jack Jr. be?

Don't go wishing that boy away.

No, ma'am.

I just...
I just can't lose her.

Mayo or mustard?

Mustard.

Thank you.

(CHUCKLES)

WOMAN: Baby.

Oh.

Thank you.

Annelle! You coming
to this church?

Well, God hears us
wherever we are.

I wanted to be here
for M'Lynn and Shelby.

Ouiser?

What brings you here?

Shut up.

Anything new in your life?

I can report that the Sherwood
Florist delivery truck stops

by her house
at least twice a week.

I like fresh flowers.

And I can report

that a strange car is parked in
her garage at least once a week.

There, my secret's out. I'm having
an affair with a Mercedes-Benz.

We are in the house
of the Lord.

(MOUTHING) Tell them.

MINISTER: Before we begin,

please join me in prayer for our
sister M'Lynn and her daughter Shelby,

who'II be undergoing surgery
tomorrow at St. Vincent's.

Dear Lord of mercy, we turn
to you in times of need.

Please send a healing word
today to our good friends

and restore them to full health.
Amen.

ALL: Amen.

(CHUCKLES)

Ooh. Ouiser, forgive me.

I've been dying
to ask you this.

Are you and Owen, you know?

Wait, I'm trying to get
the mental picture.

Oof, now it won't go away.

A dirty mind's a terrible
thing to waste, Clairee.

And, not that it's anybody's
business, but no, we are friends.

Hmm. He would like more.

I'm dealing with that. Yeah, I'm old.
I'm set in my ways.

You are playing hard to get!

At her age, she ought to be
playing "beat the clock."

(BOTH LAUGHING)

I think I gotta go again.

SHELBY: They weren't lying
when they said these

things would make our kidneys
go 90 miles an hour.

Wait... Mama, Mama, wait.

Mama, wait. Wait, wait, wait.
What are we doing?

I can't let you do this. There
has to be some other way.

Hush. I can't do this to you.

Hush now. Come on, stop it.

(SOBBING)

Shelby.

Shelby, you're looking
at this all wrong.

(CONTINUES SOBBING)

Most mothers only get a chance
to give their child life once.

You're giving me the
opportunity to do it twice.

I mean, I'm grateful I don't
have to just stand by helpless.

I can do this for you.

It's a blessing.

Grateful for all of this?

You're a mother.

Now, suppose Jack Jr.
Needed a kidney.

I'd take it out myself.

Oh, that's no big deal. I got two of them.
I don't need but one.

Oh.

No diet caffeine-free?

I'm sorry.

Good Lord, Clairee. At your
age, why do you even care?

(SIGHS)

Looks good.

Yes.

DOCTOR: Looks real, real good.

OUISER: Whoo!

I told you, man.

Oh, my God, Miss Clairee,
thank you so much! I love it!

(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

OUISER: He could drive
that down the street himself.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Here's the next one. Ooh, sin.

Ooh!

M'LYNN: Mmm!

It's not signed.

Wait a minute, let me see this.

Please, I'd know
this penmanship anywhere.

Ouiser, you have the handwriting
of a serial killer.

(LAUGHS) Miss Ouiser!

Girl, I thought Sammy wouldn't
mind you reading the Bible in bed

if you was wearing
something inspirational.

Inspiration!

(ALL LAUGHING)

Hang on, I promised Shelby I would get
her on the phone for the surprise.

She really wanted to be here, but
she couldn't change her shift.

Okay. Back at work?

Mmm-hmm.
Part-time since the first.

Hey, baby, can you talk?
Hold on, hold on.

Hi, Shelby!

Annelle, were you surprised?

Uh, yeah, I almost fainted.

I never expected a baby shower.

I wish I could've seen it. I
have to go, but congratulations.

AII right, I'II see you
at Thanksgiving.

AII right, hold on
for your mom.

Ooh, she was so surprised.

Hey, baby. Okay. AII right, now kiss Jack Jr.
For me. I love you.

Okay, love you, Mama.
I gotta go.

Uh, better keep a close eye
on Baby Berlin here.

She had a hard delivery.

Just gonna take my...

Oh, you off?

Jack Jr. has been
waiting all day

for this.

Oh, that is killer cute! I know.

I'm teaching him how to say "trick
or treat." Or something close to it.

(LAUGHS)

(PHONE RINGING)

Maternity.

Mmm-hmm.

(CAR PULLING IN)

Sounds like Spud's home.

Guess so.

Why don't you go on in?
We can finish this up.

No, thanks.

No.

When you work a seven-day
stretch on a offshore oil rig,

seems like the only thing you want
to do on your day off is sleep.

It's such a hard life.

It's killing him.

But it's work, and he needs it.

But I think I will go say hi before
he turns into Rip Van Winkle.

(CRYING)

Shelby!

Shel!

(JACK JR. CRYING)

Hey, hey.

Shelby! Shelby! Shel!

Hello. 911, I have an emergency
at 70 Lake Shore Drive.

70 Lake Shore Drive!

Come on, Shelby. Wake up.
Wake up, baby.

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

Come on, Shelby.
Wake up, honey.

Shelby, come on, baby, wake up.

Wake up for mama. Come on now.

Jackson is here, your daddy's
here, your brothers are here.

Come on now, Jackson really misses you.
Wake up, sweetie.

M'LYNN: I bet
that feels better, huh?

I hooked my baby up.

There we go.

Ma, it might do you some good
to get out for a little while.

What if she wakes up for two
minutes and I'm not here?

(SIGHS)

I'm so sorry.

(SOBBING)

DRUM: No. No.

(SOBBING)

(AIR HISSING)

(MACHINE BEEPS)

(SNIFFLING)

Call Connolly's Funeral Home.
They're real nice.

And, um,

you need to get her pink suit,

the one with
the cherries on the...

(SOBBING)

MINISTER:
So we do not lose heart.

Though our outer self
is wasting away,

our inner self is being
renewed day by day,

for this light, momentary
affliction is preparing for us

an eternal weight of glory
beyond all comparison

as we look not to
the things that are seen,

but to the things
that are unseen,

for the things that
are seen are transient,

but the things that
are unseen are eternal.

(SOBBING)

It's her.

Hi, M'Lynn. Hey, darling.

Hello, everybody.

Truvy, can you make
some quick magic?

I know I look like
10 miles of dirt road.

Let me get my magic wand
and my fairy dust.

OUISER: How you doing, honey?

Oh, fine. I'm more
worried about Drum.

Thank you.

(SIGHS)

Miss M'Lynn, it should make you feel
better that Shelby's with her King.

Yes, Annelle.
I guess it should.

We should all be rejoicing.

Well, you go ahead.

Miss M'Lynn, I didn't mean
to upset you by saying that.

You see, when things
like this happen,

I pray real hard to make
heads or tails of it,

and I think, in Shelby's case,

she wanted to take care of that
baby, of you, of everybody,

and her poor body
just got worn out.

It wouldn't let her do everything
that she wanted to do.

So she went on to a place where
she could be a guardian angel

and she'II always be young, and
she'II always be beautiful.

And I personally feel safer knowing
that she's up there on my side.

I know I might sound
real simple and stupid.

And maybe I am,

but that's just how I get
through things like this.

Thank you, Annelle.

I appreciate that.

And it's a very good idea.

Shelby, as you know,
would not want us to

be all mired down and
wallow in this thing.

She would want us to deal with
it the best way we know how

and get on with it.

That's what my mind says.

I wish somebody would
explain that to my heart.

TRUVY: Drum said you
never left her side.

Well, I didn't much feel
like playing tennis.

No, I couldn't leave my Shelby.

I stayed there.

I kept pushing, just as I always
have when it concerns Shelby.

I was hoping she would sit
up and argue with me.

Then we all realized
that there was no hope.

I was very afraid
I wouldn't survive

the first few minutes after
they turned those machines off.

Drum couldn't take it. He left.

Jackson couldn't
take it. He left.

Struck me as ironic.

I mean, ain't men
supposed to be,

you know, made of steel?

But I stayed there,

just holding my baby's hand.

There was no trembling,

no noise,

just peace.

I realize, as a mother,
how lucky I was.

I was there when this wonderful
person drifted into this world,

and I was there
when she drifted out.

It was the most precious
moment of my life thus far.

That's great, Truvy.

TRUVY: Can't tell what's
going on on the insides.

But your hair is
holding up beautifully.

Shelby was right.

I always get my hair
done the same way.

CLAIREE: Oh, honey.

(SOBBING)

Are you all right?

Yes. Yes!

Yes, I'm all right.

I could jog to Texas and
back, but my daughter can't.

She can't. She never could.

(SOBBING)

I'm so mad, I don't
know what to do.

How is that baby ever going to
know how wonderful his mama was?

Will he ever know what she
went through for him?

Oh, it's not supposed
to be like this.

Lord, have mercy. I'm trying
to understand, but I can't.

I'm supposed to
go first, not her!

I was always ready to go first.

Not my baby.

I'm so mad. I'm...

I'm so mad I could...
I just want to...

I want to hit somebody until
they feel as bad as I do.

I just want to hit.

I just want to...
I want to hit something.

I want to hit it, and I
want to hit it hard.

Hit this.

Go ahead, M'Lynn, slap her.

Go ahead, M'Lynn, slap her.

Are you crazy?

Hit her.

Are you high?

Clairee, have you
lost your mind?

We could sell t-shirts saying,
"I slapped Ouiser Boudreaux."

Hit her!

Miss Clairee, enough.

(LAUGHING) (GRUNTING)

This is your chance to do
something for your fellow man.

Let go of me!

CLAIREE: Knock her lights out!

(ALL LAUGHING)

You missed it! You missed it.

You missed the chance
of a lifetime.

You are a harpy from hell. Go.

I'II admit, I'II admit.
I laughed.

But Miss Clairee, that wasn't
a very Christian thing to do.

Annelle, honey, you're
gonna have to lighten up.

My husband says the same thing.

No, it was just getting too heavy
in here, and we needed to laugh.

Oh, Ouisy, you know I love you
more than I love my luggage.

Yeah, you are too
bent for color TV.

Oh. My Lord.

Oh, I'm... I'm sorry
I went on like that.

I've gotten everybody
crying up in here.

I'm sorry, Ouiser.

Don't ever be sorry
for anything in here.

(LAUGHS)

I gonna get on out of here.
Y'all crazy.

Mmm. Mmm-mmm.

(SIGHS)

Shelby would've had
a good time in here today.

TRUVY: I'm sure she did.

I'm praying for you. Drum, too.

TRUVY: If you need
anything, call.

And if her line's busy,
call me.

Yes, Annelle, I pray.

There, I said it.

I hope you're satisfied.

Oh, I wanted to ask
Miss M'Lynn.

Sammy and I want to
name the baby Shelby,

since she's the reason
we met in the first place.

Do you think she'II mind?

Mind?

Oh, she'd be tickled pink.

SHELBY: As long as we're alive,
there's risk for every one of us.

Things happen.

And you get through,
and life goes on.

I would rather have 30 minutes
of something wonderful

than a lifetime of
nothing special.