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1
00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:04,938
Good. You're awake.
2
00:00:04,971 --> 00:00:07,607
Just in time to meet
our guest of honor,
3
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:10,577
- your kidney.
- I've heard about you.
4
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,112
You're the...
[groans]
5
00:00:12,265 --> 00:00:14,534
The Kidney-pper.
[thunder rumbles]
6
00:00:14,634 --> 00:00:17,270
Kidney is such an interesting
organ, isn't it?
7
00:00:17,271 --> 00:00:20,006
We've got two,
yet we only need one.
8
00:00:20,007 --> 00:00:21,775
Kind of like the D'Amelio sisters.
9
00:00:21,809 --> 00:00:25,578
If you ask me, Dixie can get
D'Ameli-outta here.
10
00:00:25,612 --> 00:00:27,114
[laughs]
11
00:00:27,267 --> 00:00:31,371
- Wait, are you trying stand-up on me?
- [scoffs] No.
12
00:00:31,372 --> 00:00:34,373
Did you know the average kidney
is the size of a cellphone?
13
00:00:34,374 --> 00:00:38,345
Hello?
Uh, he says "urine" trouble.
14
00:00:38,378 --> 00:00:40,647
Okay, this is definitely stand-up.
15
00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:44,251
It's not stand-up.
If anything, it's alt-comedy.
16
00:00:44,385 --> 00:00:46,887
But no matter,
because I'm getting the light
17
00:00:46,954 --> 00:00:50,390
- leaving your eyes.
- That's creepy.
18
00:00:50,391 --> 00:00:52,793
Oh, good.
That's what I'm going for.
19
00:00:52,794 --> 00:00:55,261
Blending these tones is a hard
needle to thread, you know.
20
00:00:55,262 --> 00:00:59,048
- Ah, geez... Whoa!
- [laughing]
21
00:00:59,083 --> 00:01:00,968
You're killing me.
22
00:01:01,001 --> 00:01:07,140
- And I mean that both ways.
- Who's the comedian here?
23
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,077
[adventurous music]
24
00:01:10,110 --> 00:01:16,010
?
25
00:01:26,259 --> 00:01:27,861
[glass shatters]
26
00:01:32,398 --> 00:01:33,698
They say no guts, no glory.
27
00:01:33,699 --> 00:01:35,434
Therefore,
the converse must be true.
28
00:01:35,435 --> 00:01:36,769
More guts, more glory.
29
00:01:36,770 --> 00:01:39,305
And guts are the Kidney-pper's
bread and butter.
30
00:01:39,406 --> 00:01:42,108
[dramatic music]
31
00:01:42,208 --> 00:01:46,513
- Who the hell are you?
- I am the Kid-napper.
32
00:01:46,613 --> 00:01:50,350
- So then where are the kidneys?
- Oh. That's the Kidney-pper.
33
00:01:50,450 --> 00:01:53,119
I'm the Kid-napper.
I abduct baby goats.
34
00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,489
You know, kids.
Kid-napper.
35
00:01:55,622 --> 00:01:58,192
Kang and Martinez took
the Kidney-pper case.
36
00:01:58,225 --> 00:02:00,227
So I'm on the lame case?
37
00:02:00,260 --> 00:02:02,329
No, sorry,
I get the big, splashy cases,
38
00:02:02,362 --> 00:02:04,230
the ones on the front page.
39
00:02:04,231 --> 00:02:05,664
I'd be lucky to make
the Odds and Ends section
40
00:02:05,665 --> 00:02:07,666
with this case,
and that's assuming no one
41
00:02:07,667 --> 00:02:09,770
grew a pumpkin that looked
like one of the Wahlbergs.
42
00:02:09,771 --> 00:02:11,070
I kind of like this case.
43
00:02:11,071 --> 00:02:14,007
Kidney-pper spotted on 3rd
and Nathan Lane, closing in.
44
00:02:14,107 --> 00:02:15,242
That's nearby.
45
00:02:15,243 --> 00:02:16,509
[handcuffs click]
Wait here.
46
00:02:16,510 --> 00:02:18,733
We have a front page to ca...
I mean, a killer to catch.
47
00:02:18,734 --> 00:02:20,814
What?
We can't just leave her here.
48
00:02:20,847 --> 00:02:23,250
- What about protocol?
- Protocol...
49
00:02:23,283 --> 00:02:25,985
and I am not saying this lightly...
50
00:02:25,986 --> 00:02:29,623
- schmotocol.
- Uh, this one I'm gonna need
51
00:02:29,757 --> 00:02:31,657
to take in for,
you know, evidence.
52
00:02:31,658 --> 00:02:34,994
I'm gonna name you
Probable Cause.
53
00:02:34,995 --> 00:02:37,898
?
54
00:02:37,998 --> 00:02:39,133
Drop it Kidney-pper.
55
00:02:39,134 --> 00:02:40,366
[laughing]
[vocalizing]
56
00:02:40,367 --> 00:02:43,337
I don't want
those cheap laughs.
57
00:02:43,404 --> 00:02:45,404
Whoa, whoa!
[groans]
58
00:02:45,405 --> 00:02:47,241
- Drop the kidney.
- Please.
59
00:02:47,242 --> 00:02:49,208
[goat bleats]
I have been the Kidney-pper.
60
00:02:49,209 --> 00:02:51,578
Tip your waitresses.
61
00:02:52,980 --> 00:02:54,948
[grunts]
62
00:02:54,981 --> 00:02:56,583
Agh!
63
00:02:57,651 --> 00:03:00,621
- He got away because of you!
- Easy, Martinez.
64
00:03:00,654 --> 00:03:03,255
I know you're Flute's
well-established rival,
65
00:03:03,256 --> 00:03:05,858
but take it down a few steps.
66
00:03:06,493 --> 00:03:08,362
I put you
on the Kid-napper case.
67
00:03:08,462 --> 00:03:11,663
So instead of following my
orders, you went in search of glory
68
00:03:11,665 --> 00:03:13,800
just to fill
that damn glory hole of yours.
69
00:03:13,801 --> 00:03:16,336
And if you're here,
where's the Kid-napper, loofus?
70
00:03:16,337 --> 00:03:18,872
That's "loser"
and "doofus" combined.
71
00:03:18,906 --> 00:03:21,975
- Keep up, dooser.
- Oh, don't worry, I cuffed her to a pole.
72
00:03:23,686 --> 00:03:26,048
Don't look at me like that.
73
00:03:26,049 --> 00:03:28,114
I was told it's a myth
they can eat through wood.
74
00:03:28,115 --> 00:03:30,117
Wait, no, that's tin cans.
75
00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:32,385
Oh, and the males
are known to lactate.
76
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:33,820
Well, join the club.
77
00:03:36,089 --> 00:03:37,724
Is there a baby nearby?
78
00:03:37,824 --> 00:03:39,692
[bell rings]
79
00:03:41,761 --> 00:03:45,999
Wow, can you imagine
being a Stable Boy?
80
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,399
[gasps]
They always look
81
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:51,104
like they've been
freshly-hugged by both parents.
82
00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:52,580
[all laugh]
Except for that one.
83
00:03:52,581 --> 00:03:55,475
Oh, somebody's
gonna start crying.
84
00:03:55,575 --> 00:03:59,528
- [giggles]
- You guys, my mom says it was
85
00:03:59,529 --> 00:04:04,049
- just an emotional affair.
- Jacket, Jayden.
86
00:04:04,050 --> 00:04:05,785
[grunting]
87
00:04:07,854 --> 00:04:10,590
[grunts]
Relationships ebb and flow.
88
00:04:10,623 --> 00:04:15,195
- They'll be stronger for it.
- An opening in the Stable Boys.
89
00:04:15,329 --> 00:04:16,730
This is my shot.
90
00:04:16,863 --> 00:04:18,613
All I have to do
is make it seem like
91
00:04:18,665 --> 00:04:21,301
my family isn't in complete
shambles, and I'm in!
92
00:04:21,335 --> 00:04:23,570
I absolutely love that
for you obvi,
93
00:04:23,603 --> 00:04:27,207
but Stanakin, be careful.
94
00:04:27,307 --> 00:04:28,976
- B... uh, of what?
- I don't know.
95
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:31,344
Just seems like the right thing
to say to someone
96
00:04:31,345 --> 00:04:33,780
before they start
a life of deception.
97
00:04:34,414 --> 00:04:36,450
Look, Kang,
about this whole mix-up,
98
00:04:36,550 --> 00:04:39,419
I just wanted to say
I apologize for nothing,
99
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,555
and this will
absolutely happen again.
100
00:04:41,688 --> 00:04:43,757
Which is why I need
to teach you a lesson.
101
00:04:43,857 --> 00:04:49,161
I'm putting you on... desk duty.
102
00:04:49,162 --> 00:04:50,864
Desk duty?
You can't do that.
103
00:04:50,865 --> 00:04:52,965
I'm the world's
most smartest detective.
104
00:04:52,966 --> 00:04:55,701
That's how good I am.
I defy the rules of grammar.
105
00:04:55,735 --> 00:04:57,469
I need to be
out solving crimes,
106
00:04:57,470 --> 00:05:00,072
- not desking desks.
- Go ahead.
107
00:05:00,073 --> 00:05:02,003
I don't even know
how to get into this thing.
108
00:05:02,004 --> 00:05:03,442
Arms first? Feet first?
109
00:05:03,443 --> 00:05:05,111
What, do you wear it?
110
00:05:09,682 --> 00:05:13,853
Oh, Flute, since you'll be here
all day, tell anyone who calls for me
111
00:05:13,854 --> 00:05:16,956
that I'm busy out in the field
solving cool crimes.
112
00:05:17,057 --> 00:05:18,107
Aw, cool crimes!
113
00:05:18,108 --> 00:05:20,525
- Getting free food at diners.
- I love comped coffee.
114
00:05:20,526 --> 00:05:22,627
Sitting in a parked car
talking out the window
115
00:05:22,628 --> 00:05:25,298
to detectives parked
in the opposite direction.
116
00:05:25,299 --> 00:05:26,732
The squad car 69.
117
00:05:26,733 --> 00:05:29,435
And would you mind processing
this paperwork for me?
118
00:05:29,436 --> 00:05:31,303
[coughs]
Okay, that's it.
119
00:05:31,304 --> 00:05:32,838
Whoo... ow.
[groans]
120
00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:34,782
Caught the three-hole punch
on my one-ball pouch.
121
00:05:34,783 --> 00:05:37,311
Let's go get you stocked up
on office supplies.
122
00:05:37,411 --> 00:05:39,879
I hope you like ballpoint pens.
123
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:42,682
Everything you need
is on that shelf.
124
00:05:42,683 --> 00:05:45,684
And don't do anything stupid,
got it?
125
00:05:45,685 --> 00:05:48,822
Ugh, I hate when people
tell me what to do.
126
00:05:48,889 --> 00:05:52,058
And I really hate when boxes
tell me what to do.
127
00:05:53,426 --> 00:05:56,196
Mm. I remember McSnuff.
128
00:05:56,229 --> 00:05:59,098
I bet this holds up.
Everything from the past does.
129
00:06:01,001 --> 00:06:03,836
Hi, kids.
I'm McSnuff the Mystery Mutt.
130
00:06:03,870 --> 00:06:06,872
And I'm here to show you
how to help me stop crime.
131
00:06:06,873 --> 00:06:09,275
Ugh, how can I do that
if I'm stuck
132
00:06:09,276 --> 00:06:10,577
in my stupid desk all day?
133
00:06:10,677 --> 00:06:12,613
You may be asking,
"How can I do that
134
00:06:12,713 --> 00:06:15,015
if I'm stuck
at my stupid desk all day?"
135
00:06:15,016 --> 00:06:15,948
[gunshot]
136
00:06:15,949 --> 00:06:19,585
Crime doesn't play by the rules,
so why should you?
137
00:06:19,586 --> 00:06:22,022
It's time to take matters
into your own paws,
138
00:06:22,122 --> 00:06:25,425
even if you've been
specifically told not to.
139
00:06:25,458 --> 00:06:28,362
[soft dramatic music]
140
00:06:28,462 --> 00:06:34,200
? ?
141
00:06:35,535 --> 00:06:38,438
This just might be purr-fect.
142
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:39,738
But, like, the dog version.
143
00:06:39,739 --> 00:06:42,142
Grr... grr-fect?
Woof... woof-fect?
144
00:06:42,175 --> 00:06:43,810
No, grr-fect. Yeah.
145
00:06:43,910 --> 00:06:45,611
Grr-fect.
146
00:06:49,716 --> 00:06:51,585
[goats bleating]
This came to me.
147
00:06:51,618 --> 00:06:54,020
But I think it's fan mail for you.
148
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,922
See?
It says "Kidney-per."
149
00:06:55,956 --> 00:06:58,126
Here, they keep sending me
your water bill.
150
00:06:58,158 --> 00:06:59,792
[trash can clatters]
151
00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:03,030
Hmm. Probably just some kid.
152
00:07:03,130 --> 00:07:05,198
- Ooh.
- Not that kind.
153
00:07:05,298 --> 00:07:07,199
Now, where were we?
154
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,435
[ominous music]
155
00:07:09,469 --> 00:07:12,305
Well, that does it
for another day at work.
156
00:07:12,338 --> 00:07:13,706
Time for casual mode.
157
00:07:13,740 --> 00:07:15,842
[console beeps]
[sighs]
158
00:07:17,277 --> 00:07:19,179
[both whimpering]
159
00:07:19,245 --> 00:07:20,913
- Look at that.
- [gasps]
160
00:07:21,848 --> 00:07:25,586
Looks like I argyled too soon.
161
00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:29,122
Are we clear, boss,
at the crime scene?
162
00:07:29,155 --> 00:07:30,490
This Burg needs a hero.
163
00:07:30,590 --> 00:07:33,359
And you either die
a hero or live long enough
164
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,129
to see yourself dress
up as a former hero.
165
00:07:36,162 --> 00:07:37,598
Wow. Now I wanna eat a hero.
166
00:07:37,698 --> 00:07:40,066
Not the hero I need,
but the one I deserve,
167
00:07:40,166 --> 00:07:42,469
- with extra banana peppers.
- Hey, man,
168
00:07:42,569 --> 00:07:46,172
you're not the only vigilante
waiting to give a rooftop monologue.
169
00:07:46,206 --> 00:07:47,707
Reporting live from downtown
170
00:07:47,708 --> 00:07:50,342
where there's one word
on everybody's lips, McSnuff!
171
00:07:50,343 --> 00:07:52,177
Who is he?
Where'd he come from?
172
00:07:52,178 --> 00:07:55,548
- And is he "fixed"?
- And, McSnuff, if you're listening,
173
00:07:55,549 --> 00:07:57,849
I'll be reporting later
from the reservoir,
174
00:07:57,850 --> 00:07:59,718
which I'll have accidentally
fallen into
175
00:07:59,719 --> 00:08:02,288
while wearing a necklace
made of Snausages.
176
00:08:02,289 --> 00:08:03,757
What a bunch of Lois Lanes
177
00:08:03,857 --> 00:08:06,426
all hot and bothered
for a masked vigilante.
178
00:08:06,427 --> 00:08:08,928
[scoffs] They're not
serious journalists like me.
179
00:08:08,929 --> 00:08:11,598
You know what turns me on?
Honest reporting.
180
00:08:11,698 --> 00:08:14,180
You got turned on by
the report of the gas leak
181
00:08:14,181 --> 00:08:16,802
- at the children's hospital?
- A little bit. A little bit.
182
00:08:16,803 --> 00:08:20,039
Save me, McSnuff,
and then upside-down kiss me.
183
00:08:21,451 --> 00:08:22,819
[indistinct chatter]
184
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,087
Oh, hey, guys.
Is this seat free?
185
00:08:25,121 --> 00:08:28,692
Why, has the financial burden
of maintaining two homes
186
00:08:28,792 --> 00:08:32,395
because your parents divorced
left you unable to afford a chair?
187
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,531
[all chuckle]
188
00:08:34,564 --> 00:08:37,400
Not sure if you heard,
but my dad's moved back in,
189
00:08:37,401 --> 00:08:41,537
- and my mom's falling hard.
- Hmm.
190
00:08:41,538 --> 00:08:42,918
A second-chance love story
191
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:45,175
would be a good addition
to the crew.
192
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:48,244
Sit. We were about to eat.
193
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:49,713
My parents made my lunch
194
00:08:49,714 --> 00:08:51,947
with their arms
around each other as equals.
195
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:54,550
I have my parents'
leftover wedding cake.
196
00:08:54,584 --> 00:08:57,120
They renew their vows monthly.
197
00:08:57,154 --> 00:08:58,454
Mmm-mmm.
198
00:08:58,522 --> 00:09:04,794
- And you, Stan?
- My parents didn't make me lunch.
199
00:09:05,929 --> 00:09:09,799
Because we're intermittent
fasting as a family.
200
00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:12,969
My family and I did
a juice cleanse last year.
201
00:09:13,002 --> 00:09:15,672
Mother, Father, and I
have never been closer.
202
00:09:15,706 --> 00:09:19,543
Consider yourself
under consideration.
203
00:09:19,576 --> 00:09:23,213
You can almost taste
that jacket, can't ya?
204
00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:24,447
And that'll have to do
205
00:09:24,547 --> 00:09:26,749
because you have
no lunch whatsoever.
206
00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:30,011
In case you all were
wondering where I was,
207
00:09:30,012 --> 00:09:31,029
I was taking a dump.
208
00:09:31,030 --> 00:09:32,831
But I heard
while I was in the bathroom
209
00:09:32,832 --> 00:09:34,701
that McSnuff busted
another perp?
210
00:09:34,801 --> 00:09:37,404
I'm just saying, he's solved
a lot of your cases.
211
00:09:37,537 --> 00:09:42,876
Yeah, almost as many cases
as you've made extended poops.
212
00:09:42,877 --> 00:09:44,492
Well, maybe you'd catch
a criminal too
213
00:09:44,493 --> 00:09:46,880
if you weren't so busy
sliding into my BM's.
214
00:09:46,913 --> 00:09:49,549
If you don't mind,
I've got stuff to do.
215
00:09:49,582 --> 00:09:52,252
There. One paperwork.
216
00:09:52,352 --> 00:09:55,420
Martinez, where are you at
on the teeth heist?
217
00:09:55,421 --> 00:09:58,625
- Teeth heist?
- Oh, some real pros at the Dental Museum.
218
00:09:58,658 --> 00:10:00,060
Then I gotta run.
219
00:10:00,093 --> 00:10:03,930
- Yeah, where you running, desk bunny?
- I gotta go, uh...
220
00:10:03,964 --> 00:10:06,064
take another dump,
a big one too.
221
00:10:06,065 --> 00:10:08,500
And you know how people say,
"Don't go in there" afterwards?
222
00:10:08,501 --> 00:10:09,844
Well, this is that
but in advance.
223
00:10:09,845 --> 00:10:11,145
Don't come in there.
224
00:10:11,170 --> 00:10:14,506
Because you will definitely
find a big dump and me.
225
00:10:14,507 --> 00:10:17,477
[heroic music]
226
00:10:17,543 --> 00:10:23,443
?
227
00:10:41,501 --> 00:10:43,269
[screams]
228
00:10:44,737 --> 00:10:46,706
Not you, McSnuff!
229
00:10:48,641 --> 00:10:52,044
Help me, McSnuff!
230
00:10:52,078 --> 00:10:54,914
I'm Harmony Flute,
doing real reporting,
231
00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:57,986
unlike some desperate hacks who
throw themselves into danger.
232
00:10:57,987 --> 00:11:00,337
And I'm here in the Grimsburg
subway tunnels,
233
00:11:00,353 --> 00:11:03,923
which were abandoned years ago
due to a hostile rat takeover.
234
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:05,558
[rats squeaking]
Uh, Harmony.
235
00:11:05,658 --> 00:11:08,227
I think the rats are coming.
[train horn blares]
236
00:11:08,261 --> 00:11:11,098
Oh, my God.
That is not what I pictured.
237
00:11:11,131 --> 00:11:12,599
Aah!
238
00:11:12,632 --> 00:11:14,634
[gasps]
239
00:11:14,668 --> 00:11:17,502
So now you are doin'
the Lois Lane thing?
240
00:11:17,503 --> 00:11:19,473
Good for you.
Let me know how it goes!
241
00:11:19,506 --> 00:11:21,174
Bye!
242
00:11:21,274 --> 00:11:22,574
[grunts]
243
00:11:22,642 --> 00:11:28,542
? ?
244
00:11:29,549 --> 00:11:31,852
You... you saved me.
245
00:11:31,952 --> 00:11:36,489
McSnuff, you're under arrest
for vigilantism.
246
00:11:36,522 --> 00:11:39,025
- Whee!
- Cool.
247
00:11:39,058 --> 00:11:42,862
- Well, use yours.
- Oh, yeah.
248
00:11:49,536 --> 00:11:50,670
McSnuff did that.
249
00:11:50,671 --> 00:11:52,571
We all saw it, right?
Yeah, we all saw it.
250
00:11:52,572 --> 00:11:55,909
? ?
251
00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:58,210
Just so you know,
I'm not like the Lois Lanes.
252
00:11:58,244 --> 00:12:01,414
I'm not gonna be all impressed
because you saved my life
253
00:12:01,415 --> 00:12:02,648
and then took me on a roof
254
00:12:02,649 --> 00:12:04,817
to show me a view of the city
I've never seen before...
255
00:12:04,818 --> 00:12:06,818
oh, my God,
the town actually looks
256
00:12:06,819 --> 00:12:08,319
kind of beautiful from up here.
257
00:12:08,321 --> 00:12:10,957
World looks different
when you're on top of it.
258
00:12:11,057 --> 00:12:13,960
Oh, your voice.
It's so... manly.
259
00:12:14,027 --> 00:12:16,562
Oh, this old thing?
It's just how I talk.
260
00:12:16,662 --> 00:12:18,898
[chuckles]
And what big eyes you have.
261
00:12:18,998 --> 00:12:20,667
I actually see out the nostrils.
262
00:12:20,767 --> 00:12:23,035
- I bet it's hot in there.
- Very.
263
00:12:23,135 --> 00:12:25,365
And I think there are spiders
in the ear part.
264
00:12:25,404 --> 00:12:26,773
Let me give you a ride home.
265
00:12:26,774 --> 00:12:29,675
But if you're ever in trouble
again, text the Snuffline.
266
00:12:29,676 --> 00:12:31,878
Standard messaging rates apply.
267
00:12:31,911 --> 00:12:35,014
Thank you. Or should I say...
268
00:12:35,114 --> 00:12:36,414
good boy.
269
00:12:40,653 --> 00:12:44,757
Just think,
it'll be that but on a jacket.
270
00:12:44,824 --> 00:12:47,827
You sure you have the shoulders
for a jacket?
271
00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:51,164
Oh, look, there's Mom.
And McSnuff?
272
00:12:51,231 --> 00:12:52,865
What are they do...
273
00:12:54,234 --> 00:12:57,670
- Oh, my God!
- I know you always wanted a dog,
274
00:12:57,771 --> 00:12:59,673
but not like this.
275
00:12:59,773 --> 00:13:02,857
Or maybe like this.
Not judging, okay.
276
00:13:05,158 --> 00:13:06,893
[dramatic music]
277
00:13:06,926 --> 00:13:11,431
Dad, I-I-I saw Mom
kissing McSnuff!
278
00:13:11,464 --> 00:13:12,999
- Pretty nice, huh?
- Nice?
279
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:14,968
No, I mean, nice for her, not me.
280
00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:19,372
McSnuff is obviously a really
cool, brave, sexy, clever, cool,
281
00:13:19,406 --> 00:13:21,307
sensual, heroic, funny, strong,
282
00:13:21,374 --> 00:13:22,942
fast guy who's extremely cool.
283
00:13:22,975 --> 00:13:26,680
Maybe this town and your mom
need a hero like McSnuff.
284
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:30,016
That dog has even got
my dad under his spell.
285
00:13:30,050 --> 00:13:33,086
Well, I'm not gonna let some
stray tear my family apart
286
00:13:33,087 --> 00:13:35,922
and ruin my chance
of becoming a Stable Boy.
287
00:13:36,022 --> 00:13:38,357
Maybe what this town
really needs
288
00:13:38,391 --> 00:13:43,196
- is a villain.
- And more bike lanes.
289
00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:47,767
Check it out.
First he takes your job.
290
00:13:47,867 --> 00:13:50,103
Then he takes your girl.
What's next?
291
00:13:50,203 --> 00:13:52,605
Oh, wait,
you don't have anything else.
292
00:13:52,638 --> 00:13:54,793
- Gotcha!
- Actually, I happen to have
293
00:13:54,794 --> 00:13:56,337
a massive amount of credit card debt,
294
00:13:56,338 --> 00:13:59,245
so not gotcha,
more like backwards gotcha...
295
00:13:59,246 --> 00:14:00,947
"ahctog."
296
00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:06,761
You sure are interested in McSnuff.
Anything you wanna tell me?
297
00:14:06,863 --> 00:14:08,932
Uh, just that he's doing
great out there.
298
00:14:09,032 --> 00:14:11,134
And I'm doing great
in here on desk duty.
299
00:14:11,135 --> 00:14:13,101
You might as well call me
Miley Cyrus
300
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:15,904
because I've been sitting here
getting the best of one world.
301
00:14:15,905 --> 00:14:19,191
- Don't you mean Miley Stewart?
- Why would you insinuate
302
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,606
I'm Miley Stewart, the
character that Miley Cyrus played
303
00:14:21,607 --> 00:14:23,879
in "Hannah Montana,"
who is living life as a teen
304
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:25,314
while secretly being a popstar,
305
00:14:25,315 --> 00:14:27,549
allowing her to have
the best of both worlds?
306
00:14:27,550 --> 00:14:28,885
[gasps]
307
00:14:28,985 --> 00:14:31,987
- How did you know?
- Because I set all this up.
308
00:14:31,988 --> 00:14:33,856
I led you into the storage room
309
00:14:33,890 --> 00:14:35,880
and wrote "Don't knock over"
on the box
310
00:14:35,881 --> 00:14:38,026
because I knew that would
make you knock it over.
311
00:14:38,027 --> 00:14:39,777
And then once you saw
the costume,
312
00:14:39,778 --> 00:14:41,292
I knew you wouldn't be able
to resist
313
00:14:41,293 --> 00:14:43,032
putting it on and fighting crime.
314
00:14:43,033 --> 00:14:45,034
But as McSnuff,
you wouldn't be getting
315
00:14:45,035 --> 00:14:47,035
any of the glory,
so you'd learn the lesson
316
00:14:47,036 --> 00:14:49,739
that justice is its own reward.
317
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:53,576
But you never learned it,
so I have to tell you the lesson.
318
00:14:53,610 --> 00:14:57,113
Flute, justice is its own reward.
319
00:14:57,114 --> 00:14:58,814
Ugh, you could have
just told me that
320
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,985
- in the first place.
- A true mentor takes the longest route
321
00:15:02,018 --> 00:15:03,852
to travel the shortest distance,
322
00:15:03,853 --> 00:15:06,156
like a butterfly on a windy day.
323
00:15:06,157 --> 00:15:08,323
Well, now it seems
like you're just making up
324
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:10,859
- sayings about mentors.
- Hey, who's the mentor here?
325
00:15:10,860 --> 00:15:12,161
Starting to think no one is.
326
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:15,331
But I'm solving crimes,
and everybody loves me,
327
00:15:15,365 --> 00:15:19,694
- including Harmony.
- Do they love you or the suit?
328
00:15:20,603 --> 00:15:23,773
?
329
00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:25,374
Kang's right.
330
00:15:25,375 --> 00:15:28,344
I do all the work,
but he gets all the glory.
331
00:15:28,378 --> 00:15:30,580
It's time for me
to tell the world that I'm...
332
00:15:30,613 --> 00:15:32,581
[sinister laughter]
333
00:15:32,615 --> 00:15:33,916
Somebody there?
334
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:36,952
Follow the warm stream
running down your thigh.
335
00:15:36,986 --> 00:15:39,422
No. Down here.
336
00:15:39,423 --> 00:15:42,190
If you tell the truth,
it will ruin everything.
337
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,960
People don't love Flute.
They love McSnuff.
338
00:15:44,961 --> 00:15:46,962
Especially Harmony.
339
00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:50,433
[glass shatters]
340
00:15:50,567 --> 00:15:55,104
Ha!
[grunting]
341
00:15:55,238 --> 00:15:56,840
I'm taking you to the pound.
342
00:15:56,940 --> 00:15:58,808
[phone beeps]
343
00:15:58,841 --> 00:16:00,743
See? It's from Harmony.
344
00:16:00,843 --> 00:16:02,745
She's in trouble,
so she texted me
345
00:16:02,845 --> 00:16:04,962
on the Snuffline, not you.
346
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:07,850
?
347
00:16:07,984 --> 00:16:12,989
Oh, he was fighting himself,
like I was in the original Spi...
348
00:16:13,089 --> 00:16:15,992
wait, is that the whole reason
I'm here?
349
00:16:16,092 --> 00:16:18,895
Eh, it's good to get
out of the house.
350
00:16:18,995 --> 00:16:21,197
[tires screech]
351
00:16:21,997 --> 00:16:25,335
Harmony, I came.
Where is she?
352
00:16:25,435 --> 00:16:26,969
"Where are you?"
353
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:29,873
No, not "whales are yummy."
That's not cool or true.
354
00:16:29,939 --> 00:16:31,741
Damn these giant paws!
355
00:16:31,841 --> 00:16:36,045
Ooh.
I deserve a treat.
356
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,237
In the words of The Bard...
ruh-roh.
357
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:45,120
? ?
358
00:16:45,121 --> 00:16:48,357
Oh, come on, Probable Cause,
that's not helping.
359
00:16:48,358 --> 00:16:51,161
- But it would make a fun TikTok.
- Summers!
360
00:16:51,228 --> 00:16:54,863
- Yes, Sergeant Yergunnawannaseedis?
- You're gonna wanna see this.
361
00:16:54,864 --> 00:16:55,998
[remote clicks]
362
00:16:55,999 --> 00:16:57,900
And we go now to a live feed
363
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,990
from an abandoned warehouse
downtown
364
00:17:00,002 --> 00:17:03,439
where a crazed lunatic
claims to have captured McSnuff.
365
00:17:03,539 --> 00:17:04,974
People of Grimsburg,
366
00:17:05,074 --> 00:17:08,111
it is I, The Dognapper.
367
00:17:08,144 --> 00:17:11,881
And I'm here to rid this town
of your favorite hero,
368
00:17:11,981 --> 00:17:15,818
unless there is a bigger hero
who can save him.
369
00:17:15,918 --> 00:17:19,122
Let's say
a mustachioed detective?
370
00:17:19,155 --> 00:17:22,124
And then anyone who was falling
in love with McSnuff
371
00:17:22,158 --> 00:17:23,994
would have to shift their love
372
00:17:24,094 --> 00:17:26,829
to the new, better,
bigger mustachioed hero
373
00:17:26,830 --> 00:17:30,900
who saved him
because that's how love works!
374
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,037
[laughs evilly]
375
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:37,339
Ugh, how did you
knock me out?
376
00:17:37,373 --> 00:17:40,010
Did you slip something
into one of those 24 beers?
377
00:17:40,043 --> 00:17:42,444
Shut up, you don't get
to ask the questions.
378
00:17:42,445 --> 00:17:47,116
You get to sit and stay
until my dad comes to save you.
379
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,851
And then everything
will be right again.
380
00:17:49,852 --> 00:17:54,256
- Ugh. I am your dad.
- Oh, really? [chuckles]
381
00:17:54,257 --> 00:17:57,726
If you're my dad,
then when is my birthday?
382
00:17:57,827 --> 00:18:01,731
- Uh... April-ish?
- Dad!
383
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,300
? ?
384
00:18:04,367 --> 00:18:07,704
Remember earlier
when I was like, "Be careful,"
385
00:18:07,804 --> 00:18:09,271
and you were like, "Of what?"
386
00:18:09,272 --> 00:18:11,039
And then I was like,
"I don't know"?
387
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,909
I think this might be it.
388
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,010
Oh, God,
we've gotta get out of here!
389
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,012
Hurry, I'm not supposed
to die like this.
390
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:18,580
I wanna die
in a road warrior battle
391
00:18:18,581 --> 00:18:19,915
after the climate apocalypse.
392
00:18:19,916 --> 00:18:22,418
Please, God,
all I need is five more years.
393
00:18:22,452 --> 00:18:25,521
? ?
394
00:18:25,588 --> 00:18:27,123
[grunts]
395
00:18:28,391 --> 00:18:31,160
[grunting]
396
00:18:32,929 --> 00:18:35,465
No time to rescue me and McSnuff.
397
00:18:35,498 --> 00:18:37,099
Leave me. Take the suit.
398
00:18:37,166 --> 00:18:39,702
Tell the world it was you all along.
399
00:18:39,802 --> 00:18:44,573
- Get the glory and the mom!
- Smart kid. Save me.
400
00:18:49,279 --> 00:18:50,813
The fact that I'm genuinely
401
00:18:50,814 --> 00:18:54,378
not sure what he's going to do
is concerning.
402
00:18:56,786 --> 00:18:58,954
- McSnuff!
- Hold on!
403
00:18:58,955 --> 00:19:01,223
I'm coming in,
so you can save me.
404
00:19:01,324 --> 00:19:03,359
[glass shatters]
What are they doing?
405
00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,371
It's like you said,
those women aren't serious
406
00:19:05,372 --> 00:19:07,355
if they let themselves get
all swept-up like that.
407
00:19:07,356 --> 00:19:08,830
Maybe I was wrong.
408
00:19:08,831 --> 00:19:10,499
You know,
it felt nice getting swept-up
409
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:13,068
in the moment,
whisked out of a subway tunnel,
410
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:15,839
saying "whee"
and really meaning it.
411
00:19:15,939 --> 00:19:18,808
Who are we to judge them
for what they like?
412
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,076
No, if they wanna
overly spray their hair
413
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:24,280
and wear poly-fiber suit jackets,
I fully support them.
414
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,816
Oh, my God,
those women are so flammable.
415
00:19:26,849 --> 00:19:29,219
[explosions and screaming]
416
00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:31,452
You're a little turned on
right now, aren't you?
417
00:19:31,453 --> 00:19:32,988
Oh, yeah.
418
00:19:33,956 --> 00:19:36,058
[crowd gasps]
419
00:19:39,061 --> 00:19:43,831
- Where's McSnuff?
- McSnuff is... is...
420
00:19:43,832 --> 00:19:47,203
Do it, Dad.
Tell them it's you.
421
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:53,170
? ?
422
00:19:54,177 --> 00:19:58,714
I am proud to say
that McSnuff is dead.
423
00:19:58,814 --> 00:20:00,816
[all gasp]
But he'll never die.
424
00:20:00,916 --> 00:20:04,420
[all sigh]
Well, no, I mean, he is dead.
425
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:05,655
[all gasp]
426
00:20:05,688 --> 00:20:07,222
But he can never really die
427
00:20:07,223 --> 00:20:09,925
because McSnuff
is inside all of us.
428
00:20:09,926 --> 00:20:13,095
And I know that because, in
a way, I was inside of him.
429
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:15,631
- McSnuff was gay?
- We're totally okay with that.
430
00:20:15,665 --> 00:20:17,433
I love CNN's New Year's Eve!
431
00:20:17,533 --> 00:20:19,135
[cheering]
432
00:20:19,202 --> 00:20:20,970
Why didn't you tell them, Dad?
433
00:20:21,070 --> 00:20:24,073
You could have been the hero
and gotten Mom back.
434
00:20:24,173 --> 00:20:27,843
Because sometimes
justice is its own reward.
435
00:20:27,844 --> 00:20:31,847
Yeah, I taught him that.
Mentor. Continue.
436
00:20:31,948 --> 00:20:33,950
And I guess
I don't need a jacket
437
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:36,152
to have a pretty awesome family.
438
00:20:36,185 --> 00:20:39,822
No idea what you're talking
about, kiddo boy, no idea.
439
00:20:39,823 --> 00:20:41,386
I've been meaning
to bring this up.
440
00:20:41,387 --> 00:20:43,393
Does your dad
not know your name?
441
00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:48,081
Because he hasn't said it in,
like, a while.
442
00:20:48,857 --> 00:20:51,800
Prison is tough, though.
It is.
443
00:20:51,801 --> 00:20:53,669
I miss waking up
and immediately seeing
444
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:54,637
the love of my life,
445
00:20:54,638 --> 00:20:56,338
who's been sleeping
next to me all night.
446
00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:58,308
Folks, I'm talking
about my phone.
447
00:20:58,408 --> 00:21:01,143
[booing]
448
00:21:01,210 --> 00:21:05,848
- Oof, Netflix will give anybody a comedy special.
- Marvin, the raccoons are back.
449
00:21:05,948 --> 00:21:09,151
- And one of them has a switchblade.
- Coming!
450
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:19,829
[cackling]
451
00:21:19,929 --> 00:21:26,149
- So what's up this weekend?
- Just... hanging around.
452
00:21:26,184 --> 00:21:28,337
[cackling]
453
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:40,230
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