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1
00:00:05,184 --> 00:00:11,481
[stammers] Pay attention to the film.
You'll miss the scary bits.
2
00:00:11,482 --> 00:00:14,863
I have to remember to take Alfie to flute
on Tuesdays and Mandarin on Wednesdays.
3
00:00:14,864 --> 00:00:16,742
I have to figure out
what capital gains tax is
4
00:00:16,743 --> 00:00:19,372
and why this man
is so mad at me for not paying it.
5
00:00:19,373 --> 00:00:23,046
And then, I have to wash my clothes,
and dry my clothes, and wear my clothes,
6
00:00:23,047 --> 00:00:24,967
and then wash them again,
and it never ends.
7
00:00:24,968 --> 00:00:28,473
So frankly, Jen, the dry Egyptian man
is the least of my worries.
8
00:00:28,474 --> 00:00:29,935
[Kash screams] Look!
9
00:00:29,936 --> 00:00:32,859
Yeah, this one's a bit naff anyway.
I want a proper scare.
10
00:00:33,861 --> 00:00:35,431
- [phone rings]
- [all scream]
11
00:00:38,411 --> 00:00:40,290
[cell phone buzzes]
12
00:00:41,710 --> 00:00:43,881
[breathes heavily]
13
00:00:47,972 --> 00:00:51,519
[Martin] Do you know what
it feels like to be dead? [laughs]
14
00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,651
Oh! Hi, Dad. Forgot it was Wednesday.
We're having a scary movie marathon.
15
00:00:54,652 --> 00:00:57,323
- Can I call you back?
- [Carrie] Wait for me. I'm almost home.
16
00:00:57,324 --> 00:00:58,785
Okay. Happy Halloween.
17
00:00:58,786 --> 00:01:00,831
[Martin] Mmm. Happy Halloween, pet.
18
00:01:02,459 --> 00:01:05,590
Can't you do that in private?
It's so morbid.
19
00:01:05,591 --> 00:01:07,761
It's not my fault you're a massive pussy.
No offence.
20
00:01:07,762 --> 00:01:08,889
I am not a pussy.
21
00:01:09,891 --> 00:01:10,941
Okay.
22
00:01:17,072 --> 00:01:18,272
Put your hand in this box.
23
00:01:18,742 --> 00:01:19,868
Why? What's in it?
24
00:01:19,869 --> 00:01:21,288
Oh, are you afraid?
25
00:01:28,136 --> 00:01:29,471
[sighs]
26
00:01:35,525 --> 00:01:36,736
[breathes shakily]
27
00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:42,080
[breathes shakily]
28
00:01:44,209 --> 00:01:46,046
[groans, gulps]
29
00:01:46,047 --> 00:01:50,722
You know what?
I don't need to prove anything to you.
30
00:01:50,723 --> 00:01:52,267
- Oh, okay.
- So, yeah.
31
00:01:52,405 --> 00:01:54,605
Oh, there's a rat in here.
32
00:01:54,606 --> 00:01:55,691
- What?
- What?
33
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,821
- [screams]
- [Kash yells] Oh, no!
34
00:01:58,822 --> 00:02:00,115
Why would you do that?
35
00:02:00,116 --> 00:02:03,306
- [screams] I thought it was empty!
- I fucking hate Halloween!
36
00:02:07,130 --> 00:02:11,387
[Jizzlord] No, I wasn't evading tax.
Yeah, Hercule. Four years.
37
00:02:11,388 --> 00:02:13,684
No, sir, I would never take your mick.
38
00:02:13,685 --> 00:02:14,853
[mutters indistinctly]
39
00:02:14,854 --> 00:02:17,191
[sighs] Well, I didn't have thumbs,
40
00:02:17,192 --> 00:02:19,696
and you have to consider
I was very, very small.
41
00:02:19,697 --> 00:02:20,747
Hello?
42
00:02:22,452 --> 00:02:23,502
[sighs]
43
00:02:23,503 --> 00:02:25,499
- When's it get scary?
- [Jen] Soon.
44
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:27,630
They haven't introduced the creature yet.
45
00:02:30,343 --> 00:02:32,682
- [screams]
- [thunderclap]
46
00:02:33,934 --> 00:02:35,228
[whimpers]
47
00:02:39,988 --> 00:02:42,157
- [thunderclap]
- [screams] A crone!
48
00:02:42,158 --> 00:02:43,718
[Carrie] It's just me! [pants]
49
00:02:44,496 --> 00:02:46,626
[pants] Oh. It's just me.
50
00:02:47,127 --> 00:02:49,130
[grunts] Did you just call me a crone?
51
00:02:49,131 --> 00:02:50,675
Is that the word I used?
52
00:02:50,676 --> 00:02:52,345
[Carrie sighs, sniffs]
53
00:02:53,514 --> 00:02:54,850
I'm not that frumpy, am I?
54
00:02:54,851 --> 00:02:58,608
Look, Carrie, you have been given a gift.
You're single on Halloween.
55
00:02:58,609 --> 00:03:00,527
It's the perfect time
to step out of your comfort zone.
56
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,114
There's so many options.
57
00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:05,580
Classic slut, topical slut,
scary slut, slut slut.
58
00:03:05,581 --> 00:03:07,584
Can I be a slut on Halloween?
59
00:03:07,585 --> 00:03:09,128
Sluts don't have to pay
capital gains tax, do they?
60
00:03:09,129 --> 00:03:11,133
Unfortunately, sluts do have to pay tax.
61
00:03:12,803 --> 00:03:13,853
[groans]
62
00:03:14,641 --> 00:03:17,186
- What if I've forgotten how to do it?
- Do what?
63
00:03:17,187 --> 00:03:19,523
Interact with men
with a view to sex in the future?
64
00:03:19,524 --> 00:03:20,902
Don't phrase it like that to begin with.
65
00:03:20,903 --> 00:03:23,239
[sighs] I've got so comfortable with Kash,
66
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:27,206
I've forgotten how to be sexy.
67
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,421
Well, it's like riding a seductive bike.
It'll come back to you.
68
00:03:31,591 --> 00:03:35,473
And if it doesn't, you know,
just be yourself.
69
00:03:37,519 --> 00:03:40,709
[Dahlia] And you fell in love with me,
but I can hardly blame you.
70
00:03:41,276 --> 00:03:44,032
All men do. I'm irresistible.
71
00:03:56,441 --> 00:03:59,604
[Dahlia] I'm sorry for what I did.
72
00:03:59,605 --> 00:04:00,816
[gasps]
73
00:04:02,402 --> 00:04:04,405
And I'd do it all over again if I had to.
74
00:04:04,406 --> 00:04:06,869
And you want me to what again, darling?
75
00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:09,624
[Carrie] Uh, teach me how to be sexy?
76
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:13,716
Or just, I guess, um, sex adjacent.
Semi-skimmed. That's fine.
77
00:04:13,717 --> 00:04:16,805
[Dahlia] Well, you came
to the right place, dollface.
78
00:04:16,806 --> 00:04:20,520
They used to say
if it was in Hollywood and breathed,
79
00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:24,947
I'd be under it, over it...
[whispering] ...and inside it.
80
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:28,537
Fingering, darling.
81
00:04:29,164 --> 00:04:33,214
Now, listen here, pretend to fall over.
82
00:04:34,216 --> 00:04:37,931
Oops. And grab on to his johnson
for support. [moans]
83
00:04:37,932 --> 00:04:42,983
Oh, no.
I seem to have forgotten my brassiere.
84
00:04:44,528 --> 00:04:47,157
Hold these for me, would ya? [grunts]
85
00:04:47,158 --> 00:04:48,535
[exhales deeply]
86
00:04:48,536 --> 00:04:50,372
If you don't know
what to do with your hands,
87
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:53,378
just put them out like this
and shake your tushy.
88
00:04:53,379 --> 00:04:56,509
Always look like you're listening,
even when you're not.
89
00:04:56,510 --> 00:04:57,427
Mm-hmm.
90
00:04:57,428 --> 00:05:00,142
Laugh at everything they say,
even if it ain't funny.
91
00:05:00,143 --> 00:05:01,228
[laughs]
92
00:05:01,896 --> 00:05:05,235
Pretend you're illiterate
and get them to read the menu to you.
93
00:05:05,236 --> 00:05:06,947
Men love a dum-dum.
94
00:05:06,948 --> 00:05:08,033
[groans]
95
00:05:08,034 --> 00:05:11,163
[Carrie] Uh- When did we make a martini?
96
00:05:11,164 --> 00:05:12,667
[Dahlia swallows, sighs]
97
00:05:12,668 --> 00:05:16,132
Do keep up, darling,
or I'll leave you behind.
98
00:05:16,133 --> 00:05:17,343
Oh.
99
00:05:17,344 --> 00:05:21,267
[George] " Times your Nan called you fat."
Do you want that for the body image shelf,
100
00:05:21,268 --> 00:05:22,812
or shall I keep it
for the family trauma wing?
101
00:05:22,813 --> 00:05:24,191
Hit me.
102
00:05:25,652 --> 00:05:26,737
[sighs] Old cow.
103
00:05:26,738 --> 00:05:28,199
[sighs]
104
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:35,463
Hmm.
I think I found something interesting.
105
00:05:35,583 --> 00:05:39,763
[George] They're numbered
like part of a series.
106
00:05:39,764 --> 00:05:42,018
- You more afraid of cancer or bears?
- Bears.
107
00:05:42,853 --> 00:05:44,231
I have my reasons.
108
00:05:44,732 --> 00:05:45,816
The numbers are a list.
109
00:05:45,817 --> 00:05:48,029
If we find number one, we'll find
what you're most afraid of in life.
110
00:05:48,030 --> 00:05:50,242
And that could be what's holding me back
from my power?
111
00:05:50,243 --> 00:05:52,789
Try and find the rest.
Maybe there's a horror section.
112
00:05:52,790 --> 00:05:55,043
Or would they be
in something scary-looking?
113
00:05:55,044 --> 00:05:58,474
No offence, your subconscious
isn't subtle. There's usually a sign.
114
00:05:59,094 --> 00:06:00,144
[whispering] Okay.
115
00:06:04,020 --> 00:06:05,188
[screaming]
116
00:06:05,189 --> 00:06:07,820
[evil laughing]
117
00:06:07,821 --> 00:06:09,823
I think I found it. [sighs]
118
00:06:09,824 --> 00:06:15,627
And that is why you never go on
a river cruise without your diaphragm.
119
00:06:22,265 --> 00:06:23,350
[sighs]
120
00:06:31,241 --> 00:06:32,291
[gasps]
121
00:06:33,162 --> 00:06:34,623
[sighs]
122
00:06:35,876 --> 00:06:39,716
Why, look I'm- [pants]
123
00:06:39,717 --> 00:06:43,014
I'm young and beautiful.
124
00:06:43,015 --> 00:06:45,060
[Carrie] Oh, uh, thank you. I-
125
00:06:45,061 --> 00:06:47,774
[Dahlia] So smooth and tight.
126
00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:50,071
[Carrie] Uh, yeah.
127
00:06:50,072 --> 00:06:53,786
Well, thank you for your tips.
I feel much better about it all.
128
00:06:53,787 --> 00:06:55,206
[Dahlia] Wait. No.
129
00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:58,378
- [stammers] I don't wanna go.
- [inhales deeply]
130
00:06:59,339 --> 00:07:00,550
[exhales deeply]
131
00:07:04,975 --> 00:07:07,313
[hip-hop plays]
132
00:07:07,314 --> 00:07:12,280
? Well, I'm feelin' kinda funny
'Cause life is like a game ?
133
00:07:12,281 --> 00:07:13,700
? Facin' like an enemy ?
134
00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:16,122
[sips, gulps, groans]
135
00:07:16,123 --> 00:07:18,586
? That's just who I-
That's just who I am ?
136
00:07:19,630 --> 00:07:21,591
5,679.
137
00:07:21,592 --> 00:07:24,471
"What if there is a snake in the toilet,
and I don't notice, and I sit down,
138
00:07:24,472 --> 00:07:27,269
and the snake goes up my bum
and then there's a snake up my bum?"
139
00:07:27,270 --> 00:07:28,981
Yep. [sighs]
140
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:31,022
Honestly, I thought that would be higher.
141
00:07:34,869 --> 00:07:36,538
Is that number one? What is it?
142
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:40,254
Intimacy. You're afraid of intimacy.
143
00:07:40,255 --> 00:07:43,092
Okay, have we double-checked
" Snake in the bum"
144
00:07:43,093 --> 00:07:45,639
- because that's not at all-
- I'm going to give you some homework.
145
00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,058
Before you come in to see me next week,
146
00:07:47,059 --> 00:07:50,231
I want you to tell one person in your life
you love them.
147
00:07:50,232 --> 00:07:51,317
[scoffs]
148
00:07:51,318 --> 00:07:54,616
I want you to say it without
qualification, without minimising it,
149
00:07:54,617 --> 00:07:55,910
without turning it into a joke.
150
00:07:55,911 --> 00:07:58,123
It could bring us closer to your power.
151
00:07:58,708 --> 00:08:00,044
Can you do that for me?
152
00:08:01,463 --> 00:08:03,341
Course. Easy.
153
00:08:03,342 --> 00:08:04,384
[rock plays]
154
00:08:04,385 --> 00:08:06,974
[breathing deeply]
155
00:08:08,393 --> 00:08:09,980
[inhales deeply] Okay.
156
00:08:11,233 --> 00:08:12,944
Okay. Okay, just do it.
157
00:08:12,945 --> 00:08:14,572
Hey. Hey.
158
00:08:14,573 --> 00:08:16,701
I need to tell you something
while maintaining eye contact,
159
00:08:16,702 --> 00:08:18,442
so don't even think about blinking.
160
00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:21,587
I- [breathes shakily]
161
00:08:23,173 --> 00:08:24,341
What are you doing?
162
00:08:24,342 --> 00:08:25,804
Oh, um.
163
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:29,434
People get to be other things
on Halloween, right?
164
00:08:29,435 --> 00:08:32,524
- Yes.
- So, I'm gonna be a cat.
165
00:08:32,525 --> 00:08:35,864
Cats don't have responsibilities.
Cats don't have to pay taxes,
166
00:08:35,865 --> 00:08:38,327
or raise children,
or brush their teeth every week.
167
00:08:38,328 --> 00:08:39,378
I'm sorry, week?
168
00:08:39,832 --> 00:08:43,082
- See you in the morning.
- [stammers] Wait! Um, before you go, um-
169
00:08:44,633 --> 00:08:49,893
Hey. So, I, uh,
just wanted to let you know...
170
00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:55,989
You know... [stammers]
...I really, like, appreciate you and...
171
00:08:58,745 --> 00:09:03,003
Pfft! I fucking love ya, bro! [laughs]
172
00:09:03,962 --> 00:09:06,635
Did you just say you love me?
173
00:09:06,636 --> 00:09:09,348
[scoffs] Maybe, I don't know.
What are you, the love police?
174
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:11,185
Ever heard of ACAB, pig?
175
00:09:11,186 --> 00:09:13,691
[farts]
Ha! That's what you sound like, mate.
176
00:09:19,243 --> 00:09:20,293
[sighs]
177
00:09:22,375 --> 00:09:23,543
[groans]
178
00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:26,424
[sighs]
179
00:09:36,236 --> 00:09:39,075
[exhales sharply, chews]
180
00:09:41,037 --> 00:09:42,087
[groans]
181
00:09:43,793 --> 00:09:45,963
[hip-hop plays]
I'ma break it down for you
182
00:09:49,095 --> 00:09:53,103
[meows, purrs]
183
00:10:02,496 --> 00:10:04,332
Mom, I love you.
184
00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:06,379
Mother, I have come to love you.
185
00:10:06,881 --> 00:10:08,842
Mum, you gave me life. I love you.
186
00:10:08,843 --> 00:10:11,014
- Okay.
- [cell phone rings]
187
00:10:11,072 --> 00:10:13,643
Please leave a message for...
188
00:10:13,644 --> 00:10:14,896
- You fucking bitch!
- [Mary] Hello.
189
00:10:14,897 --> 00:10:16,440
You don't have anything better
to be doing.
190
00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:18,110
- This is Mary Regan.
- I hope you get dementia!
191
00:10:18,111 --> 00:10:20,364
Mum! [chuckles] Mother. Mama.
192
00:10:20,365 --> 00:10:24,122
I was just calling to say I love you.
Like children do. I love you so much.
193
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,545
I just want you to know that.
Love, love, love!
194
00:10:31,012 --> 00:10:33,183
[Ange] One in, one out, you animals!
195
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:35,187
[sighs]
196
00:10:38,736 --> 00:10:40,113
Move, losers.
197
00:10:43,704 --> 00:10:45,373
[smacks lips, sighs]
198
00:10:45,374 --> 00:10:47,336
Okay. Sexy.
199
00:10:53,808 --> 00:10:54,858
[sighs]
200
00:10:57,189 --> 00:10:58,651
[groans]
201
00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:01,824
[inhales]
202
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,588
[breathes heavily]
203
00:11:09,698 --> 00:11:13,597
[Dahlia] Hello again, darling. [moans]
204
00:11:13,598 --> 00:11:15,099
[Carrie] I didn't invite you.
205
00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:17,021
[Dahlia] Aw, spoilsport.
206
00:11:17,689 --> 00:11:19,900
Can't a girl have a little fun?
207
00:11:19,901 --> 00:11:21,946
- [groans]
- [Dahlia breathing heavily]
208
00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:23,240
[gasping]
209
00:11:23,241 --> 00:11:25,161
- [knocks on door]
- [Kash] You gonna be long?
210
00:11:25,162 --> 00:11:27,959
[Carrie gasps, stammers] Two minutes.
211
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,670
[sighs]
212
00:11:29,671 --> 00:11:31,799
[groans, pants]
213
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,803
[Dahlia] Is that a man I hear?
214
00:11:33,804 --> 00:11:35,431
[Carrie grunts] Don't you dare.
215
00:11:35,432 --> 00:11:37,979
[Dahlia laughs]
216
00:11:40,985 --> 00:11:46,370
Why don't you come on in here
and help me wipe, big boy?
217
00:11:46,371 --> 00:11:48,332
Uh, gee.
218
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,461
I feel like you can do that yourself.
219
00:11:50,462 --> 00:11:53,217
Dammit. [sniffs] I'm out of practice.
220
00:11:53,218 --> 00:11:54,469
[Carrie] Get out!
221
00:11:54,470 --> 00:11:58,645
[Dahlia] Never!
I wanna suckle from the teat of life!
222
00:11:58,646 --> 00:12:01,693
- I want this body, darling.
- [Carrie whimpers]
223
00:12:01,694 --> 00:12:04,489
And I always get what I want.
224
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,284
- [sighs, gasps, whimpers]
- [knocks on door]
225
00:12:06,285 --> 00:12:08,039
Carrie? Are you okay?
226
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:11,713
Did you stick on a wax strip
and get too scared to pull it off?
227
00:12:11,714 --> 00:12:13,967
I'm Dahlia. I'm Dahlia.
228
00:12:13,968 --> 00:12:15,846
[grunts, pants]
229
00:12:15,847 --> 00:12:19,061
I'm Carrie. I'm Carrie. I'm Carrie.
230
00:12:19,688 --> 00:12:21,065
[whimpers, chokes]
231
00:12:24,405 --> 00:12:26,744
- [Carrie whimpering, panting]
- Carrie?
232
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,710
[whimpering, panting continues]
233
00:12:35,177 --> 00:12:36,227
Carrie?
234
00:12:39,185 --> 00:12:41,899
[panting continues]
235
00:12:45,907 --> 00:12:48,160
[panting stops]
236
00:12:48,161 --> 00:12:49,748
[Dahlia] Hello, handsome.
237
00:12:51,042 --> 00:12:52,879
[screams]
238
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,799
[grunts]
239
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,220
[thunderclap]
240
00:12:57,221 --> 00:12:59,224
[chattering]
241
00:12:59,225 --> 00:13:03,108
["F�r Elise" plays]
242
00:13:06,364 --> 00:13:07,414
[cat meows]
243
00:13:07,867 --> 00:13:10,665
[spooky chords play]
244
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,629
? Let's have a satanic orgy ?
245
00:13:14,421 --> 00:13:15,715
[meow]
246
00:13:15,716 --> 00:13:19,640
? Deep in the forest
In the dead of night ?
247
00:13:19,641 --> 00:13:22,855
? The full moon is the only light ?
248
00:13:22,856 --> 00:13:26,486
? 'Round a magic circle
Our bodies start to sway ?
249
00:13:26,487 --> 00:13:30,621
? All the pretty witches
Have come out to play ?
250
00:13:31,330 --> 00:13:32,916
- [purrs]
- [meows]
251
00:13:32,917 --> 00:13:37,384
? Take a ride on my broom ?
252
00:13:39,848 --> 00:13:44,857
? We're naked under the moon ?
253
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,695
[meowing]
254
00:13:47,864 --> 00:13:51,369
? Maybe I'll make love to you ?
255
00:13:51,370 --> 00:13:54,293
- [meowing]
- [Jizzlord orgasming]
256
00:14:02,434 --> 00:14:03,979
[door tone plays]
257
00:14:05,482 --> 00:14:07,152
- [door shuts]
- We're closed!
258
00:14:08,529 --> 00:14:10,533
[objects rattle]
259
00:14:11,912 --> 00:14:14,742
If you want to steal something,
just take it. I don't care.
260
00:14:15,168 --> 00:14:17,422
[objects clattering]
261
00:14:22,182 --> 00:14:24,562
[objects clattering]
262
00:14:29,196 --> 00:14:30,574
[Kash] No, no!
263
00:14:31,492 --> 00:14:33,621
[grunts] Please, just stay still.
264
00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:35,040
- [footsteps]
- [Kash mutters]
265
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:37,128
- Hey, what are you doing?
- [Kash grunts]
266
00:14:37,129 --> 00:14:38,338
No, no, no! Wait. Wait.
267
00:14:38,339 --> 00:14:40,844
- That's not Carrie.
- [panting]
268
00:14:40,845 --> 00:14:42,055
- Oh, God.
- [pants]
269
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:45,562
[pants] Two of you. That's more like it.
270
00:14:45,563 --> 00:14:48,316
The devil's triangle.
What is it the French say?
271
00:14:48,317 --> 00:14:50,154
The fuck � trois?
272
00:14:50,155 --> 00:14:51,699
- [groans]
- What? Then who is it?
273
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:54,747
- Some old actress.
- Old, he says? Look at me.
274
00:14:54,748 --> 00:14:57,376
I'm young and lithe.
275
00:14:57,377 --> 00:14:59,255
Carrie, stop fucking around!
Snap out of it!
276
00:14:59,256 --> 00:15:02,846
Carrie's gone, red.
It's Dahlia from now on.
277
00:15:02,847 --> 00:15:04,474
Practice that with your tongue. [moans]
278
00:15:04,475 --> 00:15:07,606
Hey. Joan Crawford.
Fuck off out of that body. It's not yours.
279
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,068
Make me.
280
00:15:10,571 --> 00:15:14,411
- [breathes shakily] What should we do?
- [moans]
281
00:15:14,841 --> 00:15:17,208
We're doing an exorcism.
282
00:15:17,209 --> 00:15:18,419
[chuckles]
283
00:15:19,421 --> 00:15:22,384
- [rockabilly plays]
- [meows]
284
00:15:22,385 --> 00:15:25,559
? Got hair as black as night ?
285
00:15:26,728 --> 00:15:30,820
? Got a skirt that's a-ooh so tight ?
286
00:15:31,905 --> 00:15:36,162
? I'm tellin' you I've got an itch ?
287
00:15:36,163 --> 00:15:39,001
[chattering, laughing]
288
00:15:39,002 --> 00:15:41,215
? She's my witch ?
289
00:15:41,216 --> 00:15:44,345
[YouTuber] Once you have them restrained,
290
00:15:44,346 --> 00:15:47,895
I like to go in and evoke Jesus Christ.
291
00:15:48,396 --> 00:15:49,606
They hate that.
292
00:15:49,607 --> 00:15:53,029
- Step one, first one is my favourite step.
- [moans]
293
00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:54,741
- You're gonna shout...
- Ugh, she keeps looking at me.
294
00:15:54,742 --> 00:15:56,954
- [YouTuber] ..."The power of Christ"...
- Well, then don't look.
295
00:15:56,955 --> 00:15:58,958
- [YouTuber speaks indistinctly]
- I can't. She keeps...
296
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,212
- [Dahlia groans]
- [Kash] ...doing that.
297
00:16:01,213 --> 00:16:02,716
Stop giving her attention.
298
00:16:02,717 --> 00:16:04,010
- It's what she wants.
- Okay.
299
00:16:04,011 --> 00:16:06,849
[YouTuber] I just love this position
so much. This is my personal...
300
00:16:06,850 --> 00:16:08,227
Have you two ever fucked?
301
00:16:08,979 --> 00:16:10,147
- Ew. No.
- No!
302
00:16:10,148 --> 00:16:11,692
What do you mean, "ew"?
I didn't say, "ew."
303
00:16:11,693 --> 00:16:13,946
- I didn't mean "ew" like you disgust me.
- [chuckles]
304
00:16:13,947 --> 00:16:15,909
I did, but I didn't say that,
'cause it would be rude.
305
00:16:15,910 --> 00:16:17,662
It just came out! It was instinctual.
306
00:16:17,663 --> 00:16:20,250
Also, I just processed that.
Wow, very mean.
307
00:16:20,251 --> 00:16:22,965
- [chattering, cheers]
- [music plays]
308
00:16:26,055 --> 00:16:28,059
[cheers continue]
309
00:16:32,234 --> 00:16:34,111
[people] Ooh!
310
00:16:34,112 --> 00:16:36,659
[horns, alarms blaring]
311
00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:39,205
- Stop it! She's getting in our heads.
- [alarms continue in distance]
312
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:41,459
Okay, I'm bored of this.
313
00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:42,461
[groans]
314
00:16:42,462 --> 00:16:43,881
- No.
- [gasps]
315
00:16:43,882 --> 00:16:47,889
? I like to wear my human skin outside
In disguise ?
316
00:16:47,890 --> 00:16:49,183
How did you, um-
317
00:16:49,184 --> 00:16:53,358
A veteran like me
has wrists of steel, darling.
318
00:16:53,359 --> 00:16:56,197
You know, from all the handjobs.
319
00:16:56,198 --> 00:16:57,575
Ugh, yeah, we got it.
320
00:16:57,576 --> 00:16:59,997
? Okay, cool
It's a party with my ghouls ?
321
00:16:59,998 --> 00:17:02,126
No. No. [pants]
322
00:17:02,127 --> 00:17:05,008
[alarms blaring]
323
00:17:06,845 --> 00:17:08,431
[grunts, panting]
324
00:17:10,101 --> 00:17:11,771
[panting continues]
325
00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:15,988
- [yelps, panting]
- Hello.
326
00:17:17,575 --> 00:17:19,985
- [breathes shakily]
- Where'd she go? [pants]
327
00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:24,463
Come on. We need to find her. [pants]
328
00:17:24,464 --> 00:17:27,301
[breathes shakily] Mm-hmm.
[swallows, whimpers]
329
00:17:27,302 --> 00:17:29,055
Are you serious? It's Carrie.
330
00:17:29,056 --> 00:17:30,850
She's built
like a strand of dry spaghetti.
331
00:17:30,851 --> 00:17:33,561
No, it's not Carrie I'm scared of.
[breathes shakily]
332
00:17:33,857 --> 00:17:36,110
Dahlia was a psycho. [breathes shakily]
333
00:17:36,111 --> 00:17:37,614
She had six husbands,
334
00:17:37,615 --> 00:17:40,494
and five of them died falling down
the stairs. [breathes shakily]
335
00:17:40,495 --> 00:17:43,325
- Well, you know that's-
- And the sixth one shot himself
336
00:17:43,326 --> 00:17:45,880
- in the back with a crossbow.
- [breathes shakily]
337
00:17:45,881 --> 00:17:46,965
[groans]
338
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:48,052
[yelps]
339
00:17:48,845 --> 00:17:50,473
[both breathing shakily]
340
00:17:52,770 --> 00:17:53,939
[whimpers]
341
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:06,129
I need your help here.
342
00:18:06,130 --> 00:18:09,020
- Carrie needs your help.
- [whimpers, breathes shakily]
343
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:11,222
[smacks lips] Or... [breathes heavily]
344
00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:14,479
...maybe Carrie can just share
with this lady.
345
00:18:15,314 --> 00:18:18,984
Okay, we get Carrie Monday, Wednesday,
Friday, and she can take the rest.
346
00:18:19,741 --> 00:18:21,791
- [breathes shakily]
- Absolute coward.
347
00:18:21,870 --> 00:18:22,920
Fine.
348
00:18:23,372 --> 00:18:25,375
Stay here then. All by yourself.
349
00:18:25,376 --> 00:18:27,840
[Kash swallows, whimpers]
350
00:18:39,279 --> 00:18:44,122
? We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas ?
351
00:18:50,594 --> 00:18:51,644
[pants]
352
00:19:13,890 --> 00:19:14,940
[grunts]
353
00:19:14,970 --> 00:19:17,020
[pants]
354
00:19:17,021 --> 00:19:18,650
[breathes shakily, sighs]
355
00:19:20,904 --> 00:19:22,699
[screams]
356
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:26,790
[Dahlia] You really shouldn't leave
sharp objects lying around.
357
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,586
Terribly unsafe.
358
00:19:28,587 --> 00:19:30,298
[stammers] Just get back!
359
00:19:32,176 --> 00:19:33,226
[chuckles, grunts]
360
00:19:34,139 --> 00:19:36,393
[squeaks]
361
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:41,695
Shame. I prefer them circumcised.
362
00:19:41,696 --> 00:19:43,866
Stop making her gross.
She wouldn't like it.
363
00:19:43,867 --> 00:19:47,331
What about what I like, hmm?
I like this body.
364
00:19:47,332 --> 00:19:49,628
I like being alive.
365
00:19:49,629 --> 00:19:53,761
So, we can't have you
spilling the beans on me, can we?
366
00:19:53,762 --> 00:19:55,442
No. [whimpers, breathes shakily]
367
00:19:57,143 --> 00:19:59,313
Huh? [breathes shakily]
368
00:19:59,314 --> 00:20:01,233
- [gasps, stammers]
- [yells, screams]
369
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:04,741
- [Kash grunts]
- [Dahlia strains, grunts]
370
00:20:04,742 --> 00:20:07,245
- [chuckles] Look at you, Braveheart!
- [pants, moans]
371
00:20:07,246 --> 00:20:09,166
- [Kash whimpers]
- Are you crying?
372
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:10,377
- [weeps] No.
- [grunts]
373
00:20:10,378 --> 00:20:13,341
? I took my baby to a horror show ?
374
00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:15,136
- [truck horn blows]
- [meows]
375
00:20:15,137 --> 00:20:16,890
? That's the only place she wants to go ?
376
00:20:16,891 --> 00:20:18,309
[coos]
377
00:20:18,310 --> 00:20:21,357
? She thinks that Dracula is so divine ?
378
00:20:21,358 --> 00:20:25,074
? And she wants to go steady
With the Frankenstein ?
379
00:20:26,661 --> 00:20:28,664
[fades]
380
00:20:28,665 --> 00:20:30,585
[meowing]
381
00:20:31,294 --> 00:20:35,261
[purring, cat meows]
382
00:20:37,348 --> 00:20:38,560
[meows]
383
00:20:41,649 --> 00:20:42,901
[beeping]
384
00:20:46,324 --> 00:20:47,869
[yowls]
385
00:20:47,870 --> 00:20:51,500
[chuckles] He's in! Third one today.
386
00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:54,151
Think of all the unwanted kittens
we're preventing.
387
00:21:05,947 --> 00:21:06,997
[Doctor sighs]
388
00:21:08,327 --> 00:21:10,498
[cats meowing]
389
00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:17,596
[sighs] Hello, little man!
390
00:21:18,305 --> 00:21:20,643
You can plead for your testicles
all you want.
391
00:21:20,644 --> 00:21:21,979
I can't hear you.
392
00:21:23,482 --> 00:21:24,944
You won't feel a thing.
393
00:21:24,945 --> 00:21:27,782
And you're really better off
not being a father.
394
00:21:27,783 --> 00:21:29,369
Too much responsibility.
395
00:21:29,370 --> 00:21:31,915
I dropped my nephew
on his head the other day,
396
00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:34,419
no one saw,
and I just didn't tell anybody.
397
00:21:34,420 --> 00:21:35,965
Not my problem.
398
00:21:35,966 --> 00:21:37,051
Right.
399
00:21:37,052 --> 00:21:41,183
[person on speaker]
Reginald's escaped from his cage again.
400
00:21:41,184 --> 00:21:43,021
How does he keep doing that? [sighs]
401
00:21:47,656 --> 00:21:49,367
[Doctor sighs] Reginald?
402
00:21:50,912 --> 00:21:52,415
Reginald?
403
00:21:53,626 --> 00:21:55,671
[speaks Spanish]
404
00:21:55,672 --> 00:21:59,345
You can't walk back to Nicaragua, Reggie.
We've been through this.
405
00:22:01,559 --> 00:22:02,609
[strains]
406
00:22:08,530 --> 00:22:11,327
Ow! Shit it anyway!
407
00:22:11,328 --> 00:22:13,750
[grunts] Oh.
408
00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:18,551
Well, that's still okay because
that dosage is only enough for a ca...
409
00:22:26,734 --> 00:22:27,784
[meows]
410
00:22:28,863 --> 00:22:31,661
[slowly] Libertade.
411
00:22:32,370 --> 00:22:33,420
Libertade!
412
00:22:35,167 --> 00:22:38,131
- Not so scary now, are you?
- [breathes shakily, grunts]
413
00:22:39,258 --> 00:22:42,557
Ha! Oh, I bet you'd love to stab me,
wouldn't you?
414
00:22:43,433 --> 00:22:47,858
- Go on, then. Too scared? Come on.
- [breathing shakily, grunts]
415
00:22:47,859 --> 00:22:48,986
- [screams]
- Oh, Jesus!
416
00:22:48,987 --> 00:22:49,904
[chuckles]
417
00:22:49,905 --> 00:22:51,616
- Kash! Stop it.
- Sorry.
418
00:22:51,617 --> 00:22:53,705
God, I've no idea how to do an exorcism.
419
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:57,963
["Tubular Bells" plays]
420
00:23:03,348 --> 00:23:06,938
- Mum?
- Jen! Are you okay?
421
00:23:06,939 --> 00:23:10,361
- Wha-
- Whatever it is, you can tell me.
422
00:23:10,362 --> 00:23:14,202
Cancer? AIDS?
That thing that makes your bones go soft?
423
00:23:14,203 --> 00:23:17,585
[gasps] Oh, God! You're not thinking
of ending it all, are you?
424
00:23:17,586 --> 00:23:21,885
[yelps] Life is worth living, Jen!
Even for you!
425
00:23:21,886 --> 00:23:23,220
What are you talking about?
426
00:23:23,221 --> 00:23:25,976
That was a very worrying
voicemail you left.
427
00:23:25,977 --> 00:23:27,855
Using the L word like that.
428
00:23:27,856 --> 00:23:29,901
- So, you thought I was dying?
- Well, aren't you?
429
00:23:29,902 --> 00:23:34,077
No, I'm not dying! I was just-
I was trying to be nice.
430
00:23:36,874 --> 00:23:40,254
Well, don't ever do that again!
I had to take three buses to get here.
431
00:23:40,255 --> 00:23:43,265
I didn't even have a chance
to get out of my costume. [scoffs]
432
00:23:45,307 --> 00:23:46,726
Oh, Jesus, Mum.
433
00:23:46,727 --> 00:23:48,438
Looking good, Mary.
434
00:23:49,357 --> 00:23:52,028
- Whore!
- [Kash] Uh, yeah, she's possessed.
435
00:23:52,029 --> 00:23:53,740
We've kind of run out of ideas.
436
00:23:53,741 --> 00:23:55,159
- Don-
- So-
437
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:56,872
Possessed?
438
00:23:58,500 --> 00:24:00,336
I've seen this before.
439
00:24:00,337 --> 00:24:02,298
A man in my village when I was small.
440
00:24:02,299 --> 00:24:03,677
[Jen] How did you drive it out?
441
00:24:03,678 --> 00:24:05,557
Well, we beat him with sticks.
442
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,313
And it turned out
he-he wasn't possessed in the end.
443
00:24:09,314 --> 00:24:11,525
He was just Portuguese. Lovely man.
444
00:24:11,526 --> 00:24:14,073
But I did learn a lot
from the priest that day.
445
00:24:16,745 --> 00:24:20,711
You have to meet evil with evil.
446
00:24:20,712 --> 00:24:22,255
[grunting]
447
00:24:22,256 --> 00:24:24,844
You are not welcome here.
448
00:24:24,845 --> 00:24:28,602
And we will drive you out
of this innocent lamb,
449
00:24:28,603 --> 00:24:33,068
you harridan of Satan's own hole!
450
00:24:33,069 --> 00:24:34,864
[laughing]
451
00:24:34,865 --> 00:24:37,703
[pants] Be gone! I command-
452
00:24:37,704 --> 00:24:39,248
[gasps] What's her name?
453
00:24:39,875 --> 00:24:42,170
Uh- I don't remember.
454
00:24:42,171 --> 00:24:43,505
I don't think anyone does anymore.
455
00:24:43,506 --> 00:24:45,426
- Mmm.
- [Mary] Delia?
456
00:24:45,427 --> 00:24:46,554
- Delilah?
- [Mary] Delilah?
457
00:24:46,555 --> 00:24:47,641
[Dahlia] Dahlia!
458
00:24:48,183 --> 00:24:49,603
It's not difficult.
459
00:24:50,563 --> 00:24:52,733
[dogs barking]
460
00:24:52,734 --> 00:24:55,573
[rock playing]
461
00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,708
- [Tito's owner] Come on, Tito!
- [barks]
462
00:25:01,669 --> 00:25:03,880
- [owner] Tito, no!
- [cat yowls]
463
00:25:03,881 --> 00:25:06,051
Leave the cat alone! Tito!
464
00:25:06,052 --> 00:25:08,305
- [dogs barking]
- [fast music plays]
465
00:25:08,306 --> 00:25:10,476
- [cat yowls]
- [barking continues]
466
00:25:10,477 --> 00:25:14,027
? I was a teenage Frankenstein
I was a teenage Frankenstein, oh, yeah ?
467
00:25:15,989 --> 00:25:18,325
? I was a teenage Frankenstein ?
468
00:25:18,326 --> 00:25:23,838
? I was a teenage Frankenstein
I was a teenage Frankenstein, oh, yeah ?
469
00:25:26,009 --> 00:25:28,221
- [cat yowls]
- [music ends]
470
00:25:29,891 --> 00:25:32,856
- [cat yowls]
- [dogs barking]
471
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,192
[Dahlia] People still know my name.
472
00:25:35,193 --> 00:25:38,115
- I'm still a star. [sniffs]
- Can you guys name a single film
473
00:25:38,116 --> 00:25:39,367
- she's been in?
- No.
474
00:25:39,368 --> 00:25:40,621
[Mary] Not one. Not a clue.
475
00:25:40,622 --> 00:25:43,417
Oh, come on. In the Port Rightly?
476
00:25:43,418 --> 00:25:44,587
- Mm-mmm.
- [Kash] No.
477
00:25:44,588 --> 00:25:46,048
The Angel of Cleveland?
478
00:25:46,049 --> 00:25:47,593
- Of where?
- Never heard of it.
479
00:25:47,594 --> 00:25:50,097
- The Gun Goes Bang?
- Never heard of them.
480
00:25:50,098 --> 00:25:52,018
Of course it goes bang.
What else would it do?
481
00:25:52,019 --> 00:25:53,312
Now, Vivien Leigh.
482
00:25:53,313 --> 00:25:54,522
- [Mary] Oh.
- [Kash exclaims]
483
00:25:54,523 --> 00:25:56,276
- Incredible. Mmm. Yep.
- Timeless.
484
00:25:56,277 --> 00:25:57,571
[spits] Talentless prude.
485
00:25:57,572 --> 00:25:59,407
- Grace Kelly.
- [gasps] Love her. Oh.
486
00:25:59,408 --> 00:26:00,786
- Lauren Bacall.
- [Mary] Oh!
487
00:26:00,787 --> 00:26:02,205
- Elizabeth Taylor.
- [Jen, Mary moan]
488
00:26:02,206 --> 00:26:04,209
- We remember them.
- You think you're being clever?
489
00:26:04,210 --> 00:26:06,881
I know what you're doing.
And it's not gonna work.
490
00:26:06,882 --> 00:26:11,349
See, I have to stay to rebuild my legacy.
[sniffs]
491
00:26:11,350 --> 00:26:13,770
You will never make it as an actress.
492
00:26:13,771 --> 00:26:16,066
And Carrie's already too old
to play ing�nues.
493
00:26:16,067 --> 00:26:17,569
- No! No!
- [Kash] Uh-huh, uh-huh.
494
00:26:17,570 --> 00:26:19,782
You've got two more years of playing 25.
And after that,
495
00:26:19,783 --> 00:26:21,744
- you might as well be dead again!
- No, no, no, no-
496
00:26:21,745 --> 00:26:23,372
Don't listen to them!
Don't listen to them!
497
00:26:23,373 --> 00:26:25,543
- She's already got crow's feet!
- [yells]
498
00:26:25,544 --> 00:26:27,840
- Look!
- [Dahlia] No! No! No, don't!
499
00:26:27,841 --> 00:26:29,384
It isn't true! [yells]
500
00:26:29,385 --> 00:26:32,098
Look, goddamn you! Look!
501
00:26:32,099 --> 00:26:34,019
[panting]
502
00:26:34,855 --> 00:26:37,067
[laughs]
503
00:26:37,479 --> 00:26:39,529
[Dahlia groans]
504
00:26:39,530 --> 00:26:41,576
[chuckles] I think I've bitten her tongue.
505
00:26:41,577 --> 00:26:44,164
Get out of my friend, you bitch!
506
00:26:44,165 --> 00:26:45,417
Whoops.
507
00:26:49,759 --> 00:26:52,222
- We have been too soft with her.
- [babbles]
508
00:26:53,141 --> 00:26:55,144
Kash, get the sticks.
509
00:26:55,145 --> 00:26:57,941
Prepare for war, you she-devil!
510
00:26:57,942 --> 00:26:59,987
[laughs] I'll never leave!
511
00:26:59,988 --> 00:27:01,699
- [Mary] Waterboard her!
- Carrie.
512
00:27:01,700 --> 00:27:03,745
- [grunts]
- No, stop, stop, stop!
513
00:27:03,746 --> 00:27:05,331
[groans] What are you doing?
514
00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:07,586
I think we've been talking
to the wrong person.
515
00:27:07,587 --> 00:27:10,967
Hey, bud. I know you're in there,
and I know you're stronger than her.
516
00:27:10,968 --> 00:27:12,094
Be quiet!
517
00:27:12,095 --> 00:27:13,640
Because you're Carrie Jackson.
518
00:27:13,641 --> 00:27:15,894
Y-You think ordering negronis
makes you seem grown-up.
519
00:27:15,895 --> 00:27:18,942
[chuckles] You've never
been able to cook aubergines right.
520
00:27:18,943 --> 00:27:22,073
You finish books you don't even like
because you think they'll feel bad.
521
00:27:22,074 --> 00:27:23,785
You're a total fucking nerd!
522
00:27:23,786 --> 00:27:26,667
[sighs] You're my best friend. I love you.
523
00:27:32,427 --> 00:27:33,972
[chokes]
524
00:27:33,973 --> 00:27:35,517
[all screaming]
525
00:27:36,937 --> 00:27:38,137
[screaming continues]
526
00:27:45,036 --> 00:27:47,667
[shrieks]
527
00:27:53,011 --> 00:27:54,430
[pants]
528
00:27:55,140 --> 00:27:57,144
[breathes heavily]
529
00:28:01,152 --> 00:28:03,030
[Carrie] I'm sorry for causing a fuss.
530
00:28:03,031 --> 00:28:05,159
- [chuckles]
- [Mary sighs]
531
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:06,996
Hey. [exclaims]
532
00:28:06,997 --> 00:28:09,753
- Are you okay? [sighs]
- Yeah. She's gone.
533
00:28:11,172 --> 00:28:13,426
Well, my work here is done.
534
00:28:13,427 --> 00:28:15,346
You didn't do anything.
535
00:28:15,347 --> 00:28:16,767
You're welcome.
536
00:28:18,771 --> 00:28:20,522
- [sighs]
- [chuckles]
537
00:28:20,523 --> 00:28:21,984
Are you okay?
538
00:28:21,985 --> 00:28:23,236
[sniffs]
539
00:28:23,237 --> 00:28:24,530
I'm so glad you're back.
540
00:28:24,531 --> 00:28:26,326
Yeah. Me too.
541
00:28:26,327 --> 00:28:28,915
- [chuckles]
- Did you say I had crow's feet?
542
00:28:28,916 --> 00:28:32,088
[stammers, shushes] You're confused.
543
00:28:32,089 --> 00:28:33,842
- Oh.
- [kisses]
544
00:28:36,180 --> 00:28:38,770
? Hold on, you don't want no problems
I'm a monster ?
545
00:28:38,771 --> 00:28:41,607
? Oh, you scared
I make you shake, I make you shudder ?
546
00:28:41,608 --> 00:28:43,361
[door rattles]
547
00:28:44,739 --> 00:28:46,117
[door tone plays]
548
00:29:00,768 --> 00:29:04,110
[Jen] We brought you a dressing gown.
549
00:29:04,111 --> 00:29:05,656
I-I don't want to be a cat!
550
00:29:08,579 --> 00:29:10,165
Is it too late to be a slut?
551
00:29:10,215 --> 00:29:14,765
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