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1
00:00:01,459 --> 00:00:04,963
[THEME - DIONNE WARWICK, "THE
LOVE BOAT THEME"]
2
00:00:13,012 --> 00:00:19,936
THEME SONG: Love--
love's exciting and new.
3
00:00:20,019 --> 00:00:29,279
Come aboard-- we're
expecting you.
4
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:36,369
When in love, love is
my sweetest reward.
5
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:40,623
Let it flow.
6
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:45,170
It flows back to you.
7
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:53,094
The Love Boat soon will
be making another run.
8
00:00:53,178 --> 00:01:01,644
The Love Boat promising
something for everyone.
9
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:06,608
Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.
10
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:12,697
Yeah, love-- love--
11
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:17,660
love won't hurt anymore.
12
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:25,585
It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.
13
00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:34,594
The Love Boat soon will
be making another run.
14
00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:37,096
Welcome aboard-- it's love!
15
00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:45,438
Welcome aboard-- it's love!
16
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:52,403
[music playing]
17
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:07,043
At least now they
won't have Tyler Hamilton
18
00:02:07,126 --> 00:02:08,545
to kick around anymore.
19
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:11,422
If I can't be head of surgery,
then at least I can be rich.
20
00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:13,675
[laughing]
21
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:18,388
Tyler-- I can't let you take
the money from the Disabled
22
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:19,597
Orphans Children's Fund.
23
00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:22,934
And how do you think you're
going to stop me, Victoria?
24
00:02:23,017 --> 00:02:23,726
[click]
25
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,689
You don't have the guts
to pull that trigger.
26
00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:31,359
You said it yourself
the other day in surgery--
27
00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:33,987
no guts, no glory.
28
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:34,737
[gunshot]
29
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,281
[screaming]
30
00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:37,657
[music playing]
31
00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,617
[groaning]
32
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,495
Oh, don't-- don't go.
33
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:43,454
It's OK.
34
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,456
Everybody-- everybody.
35
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:48,167
You'll get plenty of "Mercy
Hospital" on the cruise,
36
00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:49,586
because two of the stars
will be joining us.
37
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:52,088
All right!
38
00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:53,798
And, in their honor,
we will be showing
39
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,593
"Mercy Hospital" every day.
40
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,177
[cheering]
41
00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:01,514
[applause]
42
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:03,391
Oh.
43
00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:05,476
Isn't my Aunt Sylvia wonderful?
44
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,604
You know, she's
so nice in person
45
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:09,522
that it's hard to believe
her as a woman who
46
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,566
would marry for
money and then poison
47
00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:12,483
her husband in his sleep.
48
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:13,359
Yeah.
49
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:13,693
Poison him in his sleep?
50
00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:15,111
Mhm.
51
00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:16,070
How do you do that?
52
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,280
She put strychnine
in his vaporizer.
53
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:23,494
[sigh] And to think,
they cancelled "Star Trek."
54
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:26,664
ADAM: Welcome aboard.
55
00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:29,375
Andy Singer-- I've read
all your fitness books.
56
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:30,460
Oh, you're the one.
57
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:31,461
[laughing] Hi.
58
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:32,420
Welcome.
59
00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:32,712
This is my wife, Valerie.
60
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:34,172
Hi.
61
00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:35,465
Nice to meet you.
62
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:36,215
Who are you?
63
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:37,008
Oh, yeah.
64
00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:37,926
Names would help.
65
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,302
I'm Adam Bricker,
the ship's doctor.
66
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,471
And this is, uh, Berle
Smith, the ship's purser.
67
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:42,221
How do you do?
68
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:43,306
How do you do?
69
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:45,475
Are you by any chance on
your way to the Acapulco
70
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:46,559
Ironman Triathlon?
71
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,145
I've been doing it every
year since it started.
72
00:03:49,228 --> 00:03:49,896
OK, I give up--
what exactly is
73
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:53,149
the Acapulco Ironman Triathlon?
74
00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:55,276
Well, first of all, you
warm up with an invigorating
75
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,028
2.4-mile swim, and then
you take a picturesque
76
00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:59,948
112-mile bike ride,
and then you sort
77
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,950
of ease into a 26-mile run.
78
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:04,494
And then you're finished.
79
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:05,620
And you do all this
without anybody chasing you?
80
00:04:05,703 --> 00:04:07,330
[laughing]
81
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:08,873
Amazing.
82
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:09,415
Thank you.
83
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,376
Enjoy your cruise.
84
00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:13,002
Uh, excuse me, ladies--
85
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:13,628
how about a picture?
86
00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:15,463
Of you?
87
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:16,381
Oh, yes.
88
00:04:16,464 --> 00:04:18,549
[chuckling] Uh, no, no.
89
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:18,841
I meant of the three of you.
90
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:20,843
Oh.
91
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,680
Oh, let's We'll take a picture
at the end of the cruise,
92
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:26,516
too-- they say you can
see the difference.
93
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:26,975
ACE: OK.
Here we go.
94
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:27,475
Big smiles.
95
00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:30,228
Come on.
96
00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:31,688
Great.
OK.
97
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:32,730
Enjoy yourselves.
- Thank you.
98
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:33,147
Bye.
99
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:34,190
Bye-bye.
100
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,818
That man's got an
obligation to reproduce.
101
00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:38,653
This is it.
102
00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:39,988
We're getting on
this ship girls,
103
00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:41,823
but we'll be getting off women.
104
00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:44,158
[squealing]
105
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:46,452
[screaming]
106
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:50,832
Aunt Sylvia--
107
00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:52,375
Judy, dear!
108
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:53,167
How are you?
109
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,669
Isn't this wonderful?
110
00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:56,421
Oh, I just love you all.
111
00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:57,463
I will sign anything
you want later,
112
00:04:57,547 --> 00:05:00,883
but right now I have to
talk to my new niece.
113
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,885
Judy, I want you to meet Roger.
114
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,554
[SHOUTING] Roger!
115
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:06,514
Oh.
116
00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:09,684
Judy McCoy, Roger Garrett.
117
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:12,562
[inaudible]
118
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:14,731
JUDY: Mr. Garrett.
119
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,566
I just have to know--
120
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:17,650
did my aunt kill you?
121
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:21,571
Really, my dear, it would
take more than bullets
122
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:22,989
to kill Tyler Hamilton.
123
00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:24,741
Can you get us out of here?
124
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:25,700
These people are
driving me crazy.
125
00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,452
Oh, sure.
126
00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:28,161
Sure.
127
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:29,746
Where's, uh, Betsy?
128
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:32,040
Well, I thought she
was right behind me.
129
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:34,917
Oh, will you, uh, take
me to the florist, please?
130
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,170
You see, my boutonniere
has passed away.
131
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:37,920
Oh.
132
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:38,880
[inaudible]
133
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:39,839
Thank you.
134
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:46,971
Oh my goodness!
135
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:49,474
Betsy, I thought somebody
was going to help you!
136
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:50,683
Who, the luggage fairy?
137
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,518
I could have helped you.
138
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:55,772
Oh, I wouldn't want
the star to break a nail.
139
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:56,898
Stop that.
140
00:05:56,981 --> 00:06:00,693
Six months on a soap opera
doesn't make me a star.
141
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,487
In that case--
142
00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:03,946
[thuds]
143
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,783
--you carry it.
144
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:09,786
If that photographer is a
sample of the men on board,
145
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:12,580
this is going to be
a dream come true.
146
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:15,375
What if it takes the whole
cruise to find Mr. Right?
147
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:18,127
Denise, you are not
looking for Mr. Right.
148
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,630
You're looking for Mr. Hot.
149
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:22,256
Unless, of course, you
want to be the only virgin
150
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,966
at the university this fall?
- [sigh]
151
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,134
We couldn't have
picked a more perfect
152
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,803
settin' for our first time.
153
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,888
I'm so glad it's not
gonna happen on a hay
154
00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:31,557
ride or a drive-in movie.
155
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:32,475
Ooh!
156
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:33,810
Ooh!
157
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,144
So what do you think?
158
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,146
My mother picked it out for me.
159
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,189
For this?
160
00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:39,065
Oh, no.
161
00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:40,608
For my sweet sixteen
slumber party.
162
00:06:40,691 --> 00:06:42,735
But I've always liked it.
163
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,822
Now look, girls-- we are
gonna have to be organized.
164
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,365
I've done up this little
sketch for the use of the room.
165
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:50,159
I've divided the day
into one-hour blocks.
166
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,536
Oh.
167
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:54,163
One hour blocks?
168
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,957
Does anybody want to
trade their evenin'
169
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:56,624
blocks for my mornin' blocks?
170
00:06:56,707 --> 00:06:58,584
Why?
171
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,086
I brought candles.
172
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,337
So pull the shades, Rita.
173
00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:04,674
SHERRY: Look, no
trades, OK, you guys?
174
00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:07,009
I used my Dad's computer
to work this thing out.
175
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,345
But what if it takes
longer than an hour?
176
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:10,930
Oh, grow up, Denise.
177
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:14,934
That only happens in
Danielle Steele novels.
178
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:17,770
I just think it's so dear
of the producers of "Mercy
179
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:22,191
Hospital" to give us this
lovely trip during our hiatus
180
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,401
from the show.
181
00:07:23,484 --> 00:07:26,028
You know why they paid for
us too is because of Roger--
182
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,655
he's the one with
the real power.
183
00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:28,489
Oh, I know.
184
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:31,325
But he's such a friend anyway.
185
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:35,037
He told me that they were
trying to butter him up
186
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,540
because he's renegotiating
his contract.
187
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:40,334
Well, they better have
champagne in his suite,
188
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,879
or it'll cost them another
three grand a week.
189
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:44,964
[giggling]
190
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:51,554
[music playing]
191
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:52,430
Oh!
192
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,390
Betsy, isn't this wonderful?
193
00:07:54,473 --> 00:07:58,186
They gave us great
big suites, too!
194
00:07:58,269 --> 00:07:58,477
There must be some mistake.
195
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:05,610
[music playing]
196
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,077
My.
197
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,246
This is very small.
198
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:20,583
[horn blaring]
199
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,753
[shouting]
200
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:27,131
[theme music]
201
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,361
Look at these girls.
202
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:52,615
Oh, Sherry's the only
one that has a chance.
203
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:56,494
I haven't seen skin this good
that hasn't been airbrushed.
204
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:58,538
Granted, it's
stiff competition.
205
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:01,207
But it'll be good trainin'
for sorority rush.
206
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:06,128
Well, I've got first hour in
the cabin, and I see my target.
207
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,129
Great.
I got it.
208
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,798
Here, let me help you out.
209
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:09,966
Ah!
210
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,801
Oh.
211
00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:13,344
Amy, I'm sorry.
212
00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:14,679
Amy--
213
00:09:14,762 --> 00:09:15,513
No thanks.
214
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:19,141
Aw.
215
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,143
Can we talk?
216
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:24,021
Uh-- yeah.
217
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:26,607
[music playing]
218
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:30,820
Andy--
219
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:32,029
Mhm?
220
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,906
I told you, I packed
your bicycle helmet,
221
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,157
your cycling shoes,
your running shoes.
222
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,075
They're all there.
223
00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:37,827
Don't you trust me?
- Yeah, I-- I do.
224
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:38,619
I trust you.
225
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:39,370
Mm.
226
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,749
How about my goggles?
227
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:46,085
Andy, I'm beginning
to think all
228
00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:47,503
you care about is this race.
- No!
229
00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:48,963
Now, when we came
on this cruise,
230
00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:49,964
you promised me you'd relax--
231
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:51,173
- I-- I am.
- --and be romantic--
232
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:51,757
I'm relaxed.
233
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:52,925
I'm-- I am really here.
234
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,261
Feel my pulse.
235
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:56,762
See, that's 52 beats a minute.
236
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:57,513
Mhm.
237
00:09:57,596 --> 00:09:59,557
Mhm.
238
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,684
It should be 48.
239
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:02,727
No, that's when I'm resting.
240
00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,103
We were kind of moving
around, weren't we?
241
00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:04,687
Oh, yes.
242
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:05,646
It's called mating.
243
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,773
Mating-- you haven't
forgotten, have you?
244
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,692
- No.
- Mhm.
245
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:10,735
Thanks for reminding me.
246
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:12,820
My pleasure.
247
00:10:12,903 --> 00:10:13,946
How about my socks my-- my--
248
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,323
my lucky socks.
Did you pack 'em?
249
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:16,324
[sigh]
250
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,660
ANDY: Oh!
I love you.
251
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:20,745
I really do.
252
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:25,625
[giggling] These may end
up being my lucky socks.
253
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:28,919
[music playing]
254
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,054
I'm not sure this
is such a good idea.
255
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,723
Well, sweetheart, you just
sit there and think about it.
256
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,933
I see what I've
been looking for.
257
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:50,524
If that's not a Latin lover,
there's no cattle in Abilene.
258
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:54,236
Uh-- look, I
appreciate your offer.
259
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:54,779
I'm flattered.
260
00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:57,865
It's very generous.
261
00:10:57,948 --> 00:11:00,284
Uh-- but--
262
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:01,452
Maybe I didn't
make myself clear.
263
00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:02,912
[chuckling] No-- no, no.
264
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:06,540
Uh, I understood-- you see,
I'm very familiar with the term
265
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:07,625
"whoopie."
266
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:11,879
It's just that I make it
my policy not to, uh, you
267
00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:15,174
know, guh, whoop,
with girls I've only
268
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:17,259
known for 2 and 1/2 minutes.
269
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,260
Thanks a lot, buster.
270
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,596
I wasted a whole time
block because of you.
271
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:27,228
"To Shirley, the
elevator girl--
272
00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:29,438
happy ups and downs."
273
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:34,318
Or, Betsy, should I say,
"Good to the last drop, Love,
274
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:35,277
Sylvia."
275
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,278
There you go.
276
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:39,073
Oh, isn't this exciting?
277
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,283
I've been on "Mercy
Hospital" for six months,
278
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,119
and already people recognize me.
279
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:44,120
[laughing]
280
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,414
I guess if being known
is all you care about,
281
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:49,708
then you're a big success.
282
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:50,876
What do you mean?
283
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,170
I mean, there is a difference.
284
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,673
For instance, I'll be
remembered as the woman
285
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,842
who stopped the show
in "Footlight Follies."
286
00:11:57,925 --> 00:12:01,595
And you'll be remembered
as the sleazeball who
287
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,055
went to bed with
the three interns
288
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,141
who were about to perform
brain surgery on your husband.
289
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:09,061
I never did that!
290
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:10,104
Did I?
291
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:10,938
Well, they didn't
show the scene,
292
00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:13,649
but the interns
talked about it--
293
00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:15,943
on last Thursday's
show, I think it was.
294
00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,111
Don't you ever watch it?
295
00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:18,654
Oh, I don't have time
to watch television.
296
00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:22,783
I'm always busy memorizing
all those lines.
297
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:26,328
Nothing personal, but
I'm just happy that I still
298
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,497
have my professional integrity.
299
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,166
Oh.
300
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:32,001
Well, then-- you
know, I'm really
301
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:35,421
glad I didn't ask Roger to
get you that part in the show.
302
00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:41,677
What part?
303
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,930
Oh, the show is
adding a new character.
304
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,060
I suppose I could use it as
a springboard to a good stage
305
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:50,853
role.
306
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:57,651
Hello, Sylvia.
307
00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:59,862
You know, we've got to look
over next week's script.
308
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:02,907
I was thinking we could
get together in my cabin
309
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:07,077
before dinner and have a
little creative pow-wow.
310
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:08,037
Oh, thank you--
311
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,706
I do need all the
help I can get.
312
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:12,041
Yes, I know.
313
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:13,876
Well, 'til then.
314
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:14,752
Ta.
315
00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:15,544
Ta!
316
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,715
What a nice man.
317
00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:22,343
What a lech.
318
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:25,596
Betsy, why would you
even think such a thing?
319
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:26,680
If he was only interested
in your acting, honey,
320
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:31,227
he wouldn't have
sucked in his gut.
321
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:32,186
[slurping]
322
00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:36,607
Let me try a Bloody
Mary, no alcohol.
323
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,234
Virgin.
324
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:39,818
Is it that obvious?
325
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:44,949
That's what you call a drink
that doesn't have any alcohol.
326
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:45,658
Oh, I knew that--
327
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:46,825
I have virgins all the time.
328
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:53,165
I've never seen such eyes.
329
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,417
They sparkle like
they're sapphires.
330
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,294
That's my tinted contacts.
331
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:58,754
And your skin--
332
00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:01,507
it's like that of a
delicate porcelain doll.
333
00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:04,218
Ram n, who's the se orita?
334
00:14:04,301 --> 00:14:05,177
It's my girlfriend.
335
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,512
Ignore her-- she doesn't
speak any English.
336
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:07,221
Can she read body language?
337
00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:08,889
It's OK.
338
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,766
We have an understanding.
339
00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:11,767
Excuse me.
340
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,686
This is not the
way I pictured it.
341
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:17,523
You two go right on ahead
with your understanding.
342
00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:18,899
[speaking spanish]
343
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:23,279
[music playing]
344
00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:27,616
Yeah, I've done
it all-- booze,
345
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:31,036
cigarettes, and junk food.
346
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,621
So what made you change?
347
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,415
Well, one night I was
carrying my son up to bed,
348
00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:37,126
and he was just a month
old, and I got winded.
349
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:39,128
It scared the hell out of me.
350
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:43,007
The next day I put myself on
a diet and exercise program.
351
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,091
Been hooked on feeling good.
352
00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:45,301
It changed my whole way of life.
353
00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:46,135
That's terrific.
354
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,887
You know, I'll
be 40 next month.
355
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:50,639
I look younger now than
I did 10 years ago.
356
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,641
Andy, you said
you weren't going
357
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,393
to spend all day in the gym.
358
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:55,853
We're supposed to be having fun.
359
00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:58,439
We will-- just as soon as
I do my 200 push-ups I will.
360
00:14:58,522 --> 00:14:59,481
Well, it's a good thing
you're racing tomorrow--
361
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,984
give you a chance to rest.
362
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:05,237
[music playing]
363
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,325
My, you keep yourself
in great shape.
364
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,201
Oh, yeah.
365
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,995
Pump iron every day.
366
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,955
Well, uh, if you want to work
out with a partner, I've got
367
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,206
an aerobics tape up in my cabin.
368
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,000
Mm.
369
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,209
It's an advanced
workout to bolero.
370
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:20,127
[grunt]
371
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,589
Uh, maybe some other
time is better.
372
00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:25,007
Bye.
373
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:25,841
Uh, excuse me--
374
00:15:25,924 --> 00:15:28,010
[inaudible] because--
375
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:30,012
[inaudible]
376
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:30,846
Thank you, [inaudible].
377
00:15:30,929 --> 00:15:31,805
Oh.
378
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:34,183
Are you taking up a
new hobby, Gopher?
379
00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:35,059
No, sir.
380
00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:38,187
I'm giving one up.
381
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:41,565
[music playing]
382
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:45,694
CAPTAIN STUBING:
Now wait a minute--
383
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,072
this character that Sylvia
plays on the soap opera
384
00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:51,283
killed her husband by drugging
the doctor who was doing
385
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:52,201
her husband's brain surgery?
386
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:53,619
Right.
387
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:55,204
Yes, but her husband didn't
die-- he went into a coma.
388
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,413
No, no, no.
389
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:57,539
He didn't go into a coma,
because it wasn't her husband.
390
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,792
They thought it was because
of the plastic surgery.
391
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:01,335
Who had plastic surgery?
392
00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:02,670
Nobody.
393
00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:03,629
They just thought he did,
but as it turned out,
394
00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:05,172
it was really the
husband's twin brother.
395
00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:06,340
I wonder who is the
father of Jessica's baby?
396
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:08,050
Oh, wait.
397
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:09,593
One thing at a time!
398
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:10,886
The man who had
the plastic surgery
399
00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:12,721
has got a twin brother who was
married to his former wife?
400
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,808
It was really
his adopted sister.
401
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:16,934
Oh, this is too much for me.
402
00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:19,019
This whole thing sounds
too much like Doc's life.
403
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:23,607
Doc didn't have
brain surgery, did he?
404
00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:29,822
I'd be discreet, and it
would be our little secret.
405
00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:31,699
That's really very
sweet, and I really
406
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:32,574
would like to help you out.
407
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:37,204
But like I told your
friend, I can't!
408
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:40,457
[music playing]
409
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:45,212
Listen, I'm going to
be real honest with you--
410
00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:48,424
I came over here to ask
you to make love with me.
411
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:51,009
Now-- now, I know that
sounds awfully brazen--
412
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:51,844
you probably wouldn't
respect a woman
413
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:54,388
who'd make that kind of offer.
414
00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:55,681
Come to think of it,
neither would I--
415
00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:58,809
which makes me wonder why I'm
even doing something like this.
416
00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:01,395
Except for my friends
talked me into it.
417
00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:03,230
So believe me when
I say, I don't
418
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:04,940
blame you for turning me down--
419
00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:07,025
after all, those are
the kind of principles
420
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,527
that'll probably make you a
wonderful husband someday.
421
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,070
Good luck.
422
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:16,410
[music playing]
423
00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:19,371
Do you know her?
424
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:22,040
[music playing]
425
00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:35,471
[knocking]
426
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:38,474
[music playing]
427
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:42,311
Come in.
428
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:45,314
Oh, I must thank
you for helping me.
429
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,107
You're such a generous man.
430
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:50,819
Oh, but I have so
much more to give.
431
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,112
Oh.
432
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:54,323
Sylvia, you know the reason
I asked the production company
433
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:58,160
to send you along on this trip
was, well, I thought it would
434
00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:02,080
give us a chance to get to
know one another better,
435
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:04,875
with the objective,
of course, of,
436
00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:09,296
uh, bringing a sense of
reality to the roles we play.
437
00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:11,215
Oh, I must apologize--
438
00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:13,091
I haven't read the script.
439
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:16,261
Do we have a champagne
scene in the script?
440
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:17,679
[sigh] Forget the script.
441
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:21,600
It's all on cue cards, anyway.
442
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:22,434
Dearest darling--
443
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,436
Oh!
444
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,395
[shout]
445
00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:26,355
She was right!
446
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:29,191
You are, indeed, a
gut-sucking lech!
447
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:29,817
ROGER: Sylvia!
448
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,027
You've got me all wrong.
449
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:35,322
I was just trying to
improvise a scene!
450
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:40,452
I happen to be a professional
actress, and I may be cheap,
451
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:43,580
but I have never been easy.
452
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,374
[door slams]
453
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:48,669
[music playing]
454
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:55,592
By the way, girls, you
can forget about the guys
455
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:56,802
with the blue name tags--
456
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:59,221
they're part of a
celibacy support group.
457
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:00,389
Shoot.
458
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:02,224
I'm gonna go to
the roulette table
459
00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:04,143
and try and pick me a winner.
460
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:04,893
Bye.
461
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,729
Bye.
462
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:10,399
You know, Sherry, I'm tired
of all this chasing around.
463
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,025
Well, not me.
464
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,611
I just hope when the time comes,
I have enough energy left.
465
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,738
Well, I'm going to
change for dinner.
466
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:17,698
You're already dressed.
467
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:21,869
I can change if I
want to-- it's my hour.
468
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:24,454
Oh, I've been looking for you.
469
00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:25,789
Please.
470
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:27,249
I have already been through
this with your friends.
471
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:28,250
You're all very sweet, really.
472
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:30,794
But if I start doing
this sort of thing,
473
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,254
I won't get any work done.
474
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:34,381
But I was just going to
ask you for an extra copy
475
00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:35,424
of the boarding picture.
476
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:36,383
Oh.
477
00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:39,094
I-- I'm terribly sorry.
478
00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:40,637
I thought you were, um--
479
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:42,598
well, you know, hitting on me.
480
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:42,890
[gasp] Oh, no!
481
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,266
No.
482
00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:45,434
No, no, no.
483
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:47,936
Believe me, I don't do that
sort of thing very well.
484
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,771
I hope you're not offended.
485
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:50,606
Offended?
486
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:51,523
No.
487
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:52,482
No, I'm relieved.
488
00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:55,193
Frankly, I-- I don't
feel too comfortable
489
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:56,945
being treated like prime beef.
490
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:57,988
[laughing]
491
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:01,199
Have you, uh--
492
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:01,950
have you had dinner?
493
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:04,411
Why, no.
494
00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:06,747
You know, it was a problem
for me even in kindergarten--
495
00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:08,457
the prime beef thing.
496
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:09,625
Y-- y-- you don't understand.
497
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:12,002
I-- I-- I'm up $1,500.
498
00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:13,629
I can't leave right now.
499
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:19,635
Well, if you start losing,
you can still get lucky in A336.
500
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:23,138
[music playing]
501
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,225
Hey, Gopher!
502
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:27,976
Valerie and Doc are
going to join me
503
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,728
in the dining room for dinner.
504
00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:32,314
Do you want to come?
505
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:33,482
On foot?
506
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,567
Don't tell me you're
that sore from one workout.
507
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:38,779
Hey-- one two-hour
workout, OK?
508
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:40,572
I think my legs are
getting ready to sue me
509
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,115
for cruel and
unusual punishment.
510
00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:42,658
No pain, no gain.
511
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:44,368
Hm.
512
00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:46,912
Cute.
513
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:47,788
Andy?
514
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:49,498
Are you OK?
515
00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,708
Yeah, I'm--
516
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,335
[sigh] I'm fine, really.
517
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:56,713
I think I just, uh, came
down, uh, the stairs a little
518
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:57,506
fast, that's all.
519
00:20:57,589 --> 00:20:58,298
OK.
520
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,177
Of course, I never--
521
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:03,971
never really had a
normal home life.
522
00:21:04,054 --> 00:21:04,513
Oh.
523
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:05,639
Parents divorced?
524
00:21:05,722 --> 00:21:07,307
No.
525
00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:08,725
I grew up on a yacht.
526
00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:11,436
I had to wear rubber-soled
shoes until I was 18.
527
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,854
Oh, you poor thing.
528
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:16,650
[laughing] Yeah.
529
00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:19,778
[laughter]
530
00:21:19,861 --> 00:21:20,654
Oh!
531
00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:22,030
[applause]
532
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:24,408
Oh, my.
533
00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:25,075
Just our way of
showing how happy
534
00:21:25,158 --> 00:21:27,202
we are about your success.
535
00:21:27,285 --> 00:21:29,705
Oh, thank you, Captain.
536
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:32,207
Isn't that nice, Betsy?
537
00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:33,375
Charming.
538
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:38,505
So, who is the father
of Jessica's baby?
539
00:21:38,588 --> 00:21:40,674
Jessica's pregnant?
540
00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:42,384
She never watches
her own show.
541
00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:43,218
[chuckling]
542
00:21:43,301 --> 00:21:44,219
[scoffing]
543
00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:49,141
So how was your
rehearsal with Roger?
544
00:21:49,224 --> 00:21:51,101
You were right-- he is a lech.
545
00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:52,352
Did he try something?
546
00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:54,229
Yes, and I told him I'd
never speak to him again.
547
00:21:54,312 --> 00:21:57,107
Except, of course,
when we're working.
548
00:21:57,190 --> 00:22:00,736
Aunt Sylvia,
would you and Betsy
549
00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:02,237
dance with the mermaids
tomorrow night?
550
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:03,238
Oh, that would be fun!
551
00:22:03,321 --> 00:22:06,283
They never let me dance
on "Mercy Hospital."
552
00:22:06,366 --> 00:22:09,745
That would be fun,
wouldn't it, Betsy?
553
00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:10,537
Oh, yes.
554
00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:11,455
Fine.
555
00:22:11,538 --> 00:22:11,788
- Oh, great!
- Great!
556
00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:13,415
Good!
557
00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:15,917
[laughter]
558
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:17,252
When you dumped
Roger, was that
559
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:21,214
before or after you mentioned
my doing a part on the show?
560
00:22:21,298 --> 00:22:23,216
I didn't have a chance.
561
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:24,426
But it's just as well--
562
00:22:24,509 --> 00:22:26,386
I know you wouldn't be happy
doing a cheap soap opera.
563
00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:30,640
No.
564
00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:30,766
Of course not.
565
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:37,439
Ah.
566
00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:41,860
Doctors do recommend six
to eight glasses of water,
567
00:22:41,943 --> 00:22:42,611
don't you?
568
00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:44,654
Yes.
569
00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:46,073
But we usually mean spread
out over a whole day,
570
00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:47,699
not just one meal.
571
00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:48,784
Evening, everyone.
572
00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:49,868
Hi.
573
00:22:49,951 --> 00:22:51,203
Don't let me
interrupt anything--
574
00:22:51,286 --> 00:22:52,496
just wanted to come over here
and see how Andy's doing.
575
00:22:52,579 --> 00:22:53,205
Gave me a little bit
of a scare there, pal.
576
00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:55,040
Oh, I'm doing fine, thanks.
577
00:22:55,123 --> 00:22:55,832
How about you?
578
00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:56,958
Oh, I'm fine.
579
00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,460
Heck, uh, Mrs. Phillips
and I were just
580
00:22:58,543 --> 00:23:00,504
discussing her hip replacement.
581
00:23:00,587 --> 00:23:01,254
Well?
582
00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:04,132
Not so fast!
583
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:07,219
Did you have another
fainting spell?
584
00:23:07,302 --> 00:23:08,804
You've been having
fainting spells?
585
00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:10,013
No.
586
00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:11,473
Listen, my wife's just
a bit of a worrier.
587
00:23:11,556 --> 00:23:13,100
It's the extra training--
sometimes it makes
588
00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:14,142
me a little bit lightheaded.
589
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:15,519
Well, just to be
on the safe side,
590
00:23:15,602 --> 00:23:18,146
why don't you drop down
to my office after dinner?
591
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:20,732
Doc, nothing is wrong with me.
592
00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:22,651
Excuse me.
593
00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:25,987
[music playing]
594
00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:32,661
YOUNG MAN: [laughing]
I can't get it undone.
595
00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:33,954
I'm afraid it's stuck.
596
00:23:34,037 --> 00:23:34,746
SHERRY: What is the problem?
597
00:23:37,958 --> 00:23:40,502
It-- it kept coming loose,
so I tied it in a knot.
598
00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:44,047
D-- do you think I
could keep my shirt on?
599
00:23:44,131 --> 00:23:46,842
Let me ask you a
personal question--
600
00:23:46,925 --> 00:23:49,010
is this by any chance
your first time?
601
00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:49,636
Oh!
602
00:23:49,719 --> 00:23:52,347
[laughing] First time?
603
00:23:52,430 --> 00:23:53,557
You kidding?
604
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:57,144
[laughing] Yeah.
605
00:23:57,227 --> 00:23:57,978
I'm sorry.
606
00:23:58,061 --> 00:24:00,063
This just isn't
going to work out.
607
00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:01,314
I mean, one of us
should have some idea
608
00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:02,941
how to do this thing right.
609
00:24:03,024 --> 00:24:04,818
I-- it can't be that hard--
610
00:24:04,901 --> 00:24:08,196
I know a lot of stupid people
who do this all the time.
611
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,323
No offense, but my parents
have spent a lot of money
612
00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:11,491
on this cruise.
613
00:24:11,575 --> 00:24:12,701
And I would just
rather have somebody
614
00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:15,704
a little more experienced
than Ricky Schroder.
615
00:24:15,787 --> 00:24:17,205
Oh, well thanks a lot!
616
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:19,332
You know, I left a full pi a
colada to come down here!
617
00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:25,672
I have reason to
suspect you have diabetes.
618
00:24:28,633 --> 00:24:30,844
Diabetes?
619
00:24:30,927 --> 00:24:32,053
Don't be ridiculous.
620
00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:34,723
I-- I haven't felt
better in my whole life.
621
00:24:34,806 --> 00:24:36,558
Andy, if you do
have diabetes, and it
622
00:24:36,641 --> 00:24:41,313
continues to go untreated,
you could be putting
623
00:24:41,396 --> 00:24:42,439
yourself in great danger.
624
00:24:42,522 --> 00:24:44,733
Doc, I appreciate your
professional advice,
625
00:24:44,816 --> 00:24:48,570
but as far as my body goes,
I happen to know what's best.
626
00:24:48,653 --> 00:24:51,990
[music playing]
627
00:24:53,283 --> 00:24:55,160
I do hope you're not
mad at me for ruining
628
00:24:55,243 --> 00:24:57,245
your chances to be in the show.
629
00:24:57,329 --> 00:24:58,914
Of course not.
630
00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:02,334
If I did "Mercy Hospital,"
I couldn't do summer stock.
631
00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:04,294
I'd be stuck in New York
working all the time.
632
00:25:04,377 --> 00:25:08,006
I'd be plagued by
fans in restaurants.
633
00:25:08,089 --> 00:25:09,925
I'd be known as--
634
00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:10,842
I'd be known.
635
00:25:10,926 --> 00:25:11,760
Oh, good.
636
00:25:11,843 --> 00:25:12,761
I'm glad you're not mad.
637
00:25:12,844 --> 00:25:15,055
Tomorrow we'll go
shopping in Acapulco.
638
00:25:15,138 --> 00:25:17,307
We'll have scads of fun.
639
00:25:17,390 --> 00:25:20,101
We'll be beside ourselves--
our favorite position!
640
00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:27,525
Fan mail, magazines,
calls for interviews.
641
00:25:27,609 --> 00:25:30,445
Guest spots on "Dynasty!"
642
00:25:30,528 --> 00:25:32,239
Aw.
643
00:25:32,322 --> 00:25:34,115
Lilith.
644
00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:37,869
It's Betsy, but why should
anyone remember my name?
645
00:25:37,953 --> 00:25:42,791
Lilith is a new character
on the show, as yet uncast.
646
00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:47,170
You know, it just struck me
that you are my image of her.
647
00:25:47,254 --> 00:25:47,963
Really?
648
00:25:51,549 --> 00:25:54,344
My instincts are never wrong.
649
00:25:54,427 --> 00:25:57,138
Would you care to join
me in a little champagne?
650
00:25:57,222 --> 00:26:00,308
And then we can
discuss it further?
651
00:26:00,392 --> 00:26:03,812
Well, it's late.
652
00:26:03,895 --> 00:26:05,730
Good night.
653
00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:08,858
But-- my watch
is a little fast.
654
00:26:11,486 --> 00:26:12,153
Oh.
655
00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:14,781
[music playing]
656
00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:21,079
Oh my goodness!
657
00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:34,551
[music playing]
658
00:26:39,097 --> 00:26:40,807
[knocking]
659
00:26:44,060 --> 00:26:45,270
Oh, uh-- excuse me.
660
00:26:45,353 --> 00:26:48,189
I was looking for Sherry?
661
00:26:48,273 --> 00:26:48,815
Oh.
662
00:26:48,898 --> 00:26:52,277
She won't be back for--
663
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:53,361
two hours.
664
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:54,529
Two hours?
665
00:26:54,612 --> 00:26:55,363
I don't have that much time.
666
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:58,366
Well, then--
why don't you come
667
00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:02,203
on in, and we'll make the
most of the time you do have.
668
00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:03,496
Should have taken
a cruise years ago.
669
00:27:06,249 --> 00:27:08,209
There are glasses over
there on the dresser.
670
00:27:08,293 --> 00:27:12,297
Can you pour the champagne?
671
00:27:12,380 --> 00:27:15,258
I thought I'd slip into
this-- what do you think?
672
00:27:15,342 --> 00:27:15,800
Ah.
673
00:27:15,884 --> 00:27:16,384
I don't know-- I--
674
00:27:16,468 --> 00:27:18,094
I can't really see it.
675
00:27:20,805 --> 00:27:21,431
Oh.
676
00:27:21,514 --> 00:27:22,766
Uh-- very-- very, very nice.
677
00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:29,230
RITA: This is just
the way I pictured it.
678
00:27:29,314 --> 00:27:31,149
You there.
679
00:27:31,232 --> 00:27:32,192
Me here.
680
00:27:34,903 --> 00:27:37,280
My favorite nighty.
681
00:27:37,364 --> 00:27:38,073
Music.
682
00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:39,115
[music playing]
683
00:27:39,199 --> 00:27:42,369
Candle light.
684
00:27:42,452 --> 00:27:46,414
The rollin' of the ship.
685
00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:53,088
I'll bet that you're
a very romantic man.
686
00:27:53,171 --> 00:27:54,422
Hm.
687
00:27:54,506 --> 00:27:56,007
Wish my wife felt the same way.
688
00:27:56,091 --> 00:27:57,217
Your wife?
689
00:27:57,300 --> 00:27:59,386
[screaming]
690
00:27:59,469 --> 00:28:01,596
I'll pay for the dress.
691
00:28:01,679 --> 00:28:03,598
If you ever think I'd get
involved with a married man,
692
00:28:03,681 --> 00:28:04,182
you just don't
know me very well.
693
00:28:04,265 --> 00:28:06,267
I have standards!
694
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:07,727
[blowing out candles]
695
00:28:09,938 --> 00:28:13,274
[music playing]
696
00:28:16,277 --> 00:28:17,779
Oh!
697
00:28:17,862 --> 00:28:18,780
[panting]
698
00:28:18,863 --> 00:28:20,281
[inaudible]
699
00:28:20,365 --> 00:28:23,118
How-- how much do I owe you?
700
00:28:23,201 --> 00:28:24,577
For what you did?
701
00:28:24,661 --> 00:28:24,953
At least $50.
702
00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:26,663
Oh.
703
00:28:26,746 --> 00:28:27,622
Here, take this.
704
00:28:27,705 --> 00:28:30,333
But please don't let
my wife find out.
705
00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:33,878
[music playing]
706
00:28:33,962 --> 00:28:37,215
[knocking]
707
00:28:42,095 --> 00:28:43,138
Ah.
708
00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:45,598
This had better be
important, Gopher.
709
00:28:45,682 --> 00:28:47,434
The captain needs
his sleep-- he is
710
00:28:47,517 --> 00:28:50,145
responsible for
lots of passengers,
711
00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:52,439
and a great big boat.
712
00:28:52,522 --> 00:28:53,148
Yes, sir.
713
00:28:53,231 --> 00:28:54,441
I know that, sir.
714
00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:56,359
But there is something
I think you should know.
715
00:28:56,443 --> 00:28:57,485
Yes?
716
00:28:57,569 --> 00:28:59,779
Those three-- ha--
717
00:28:59,863 --> 00:29:01,614
college girls from Texas--
718
00:29:01,698 --> 00:29:03,408
those girls are
turning this ship
719
00:29:03,491 --> 00:29:05,326
into a house of prostitution!
720
00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:06,327
Good evening.
721
00:29:06,411 --> 00:29:08,830
Good evening.
722
00:29:08,913 --> 00:29:12,208
[music playing]
723
00:29:13,751 --> 00:29:14,335
JUDY [ON LOUDSPEAKER]: Good
morning, ladies and gentlemen,
724
00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:17,213
and welcome to Acapulco.
725
00:29:17,297 --> 00:29:18,673
To help get you
started this morning,
726
00:29:18,756 --> 00:29:20,300
our delicious breakfast buffet
will be ready on the Starlight
727
00:29:20,383 --> 00:29:22,760
Deck as soon as we dock.
728
00:29:22,844 --> 00:29:24,012
Andy?
729
00:29:24,095 --> 00:29:26,848
I've been looking
all over for you!
730
00:29:26,931 --> 00:29:28,600
I can't believe you're still
going through with this.
731
00:29:28,683 --> 00:29:30,310
I thought we settled
this last night--
732
00:29:30,393 --> 00:29:31,853
at least a dozen times.
733
00:29:31,936 --> 00:29:33,938
Andy, please let Doc
give you a blood test.
734
00:29:34,022 --> 00:29:35,190
If anything ever
happened to you--
735
00:29:35,273 --> 00:29:36,816
Nothing is going
to happen to me.
736
00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:38,026
Now, I don't want to discuss it.
737
00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:39,611
Well, if that's the way
you feel, then you can
738
00:29:39,694 --> 00:29:42,363
just go to the triathlon alone.
739
00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:44,032
OK.
740
00:29:44,115 --> 00:29:46,910
Andy, wait--
741
00:29:46,993 --> 00:29:47,869
I'll go with you.
742
00:29:47,952 --> 00:29:50,038
I've never missed one
of your races yet.
743
00:29:50,121 --> 00:29:52,582
I'm not about to start now.
744
00:29:52,665 --> 00:29:54,959
And besides, who'll
carry your lucky socks?
745
00:29:55,043 --> 00:29:58,338
[music playing]
746
00:30:02,842 --> 00:30:07,180
CAPTAIN STUBING: Ladies, it has
been brought to my attention
747
00:30:07,263 --> 00:30:09,724
that you have been--
748
00:30:09,807 --> 00:30:17,607
shall we say-- approaching
men on board this ship.
749
00:30:17,690 --> 00:30:18,441
Is that true?
750
00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:25,114
Well, yes.
751
00:30:25,198 --> 00:30:26,699
Is there a problem with that?
752
00:30:26,783 --> 00:30:29,953
Well, I'll say there's
a problem with that!
753
00:30:30,036 --> 00:30:32,580
Uh, we feel that our
gentlemen passengers
754
00:30:32,664 --> 00:30:34,874
have enough amusements
on board the ship
755
00:30:34,958 --> 00:30:39,170
without having to resort
to that kind of activity.
756
00:30:39,254 --> 00:30:41,297
We didn't think
it was that unusual.
757
00:30:41,381 --> 00:30:46,135
Young lady, it is more
than unusual, it is illegal!
758
00:30:46,219 --> 00:30:49,138
You could be arrested!
759
00:30:49,222 --> 00:30:51,099
I hope they're not
this strict at college.
760
00:30:51,182 --> 00:30:53,434
You were planning on doing
this kind of thing at college?
761
00:30:53,518 --> 00:30:55,728
Well, some.
762
00:30:55,812 --> 00:30:58,106
What ever happened
to waiting on tables
763
00:30:58,189 --> 00:30:59,857
or helping out at the library?
764
00:30:59,941 --> 00:31:02,402
Believe us, Captain-- this
is the first time we've ever
765
00:31:02,485 --> 00:31:04,904
done anything like this.
766
00:31:04,988 --> 00:31:07,782
Well, I hope this
will be your last.
767
00:31:07,865 --> 00:31:11,035
[music playing]
768
00:31:11,119 --> 00:31:12,453
That certainly
destroys our plans.
769
00:31:12,537 --> 00:31:13,788
Some romantic holiday.
770
00:31:13,871 --> 00:31:17,625
That cruise brochure
was very misleading.
771
00:31:17,709 --> 00:31:19,252
Well, I must
admit I'm relieved.
772
00:31:19,335 --> 00:31:21,296
I sort of gave up
yesterday, anyway.
773
00:31:21,379 --> 00:31:22,880
Well, not me.
774
00:31:22,964 --> 00:31:24,591
I think the captain's bluffing.
775
00:31:24,674 --> 00:31:25,425
But if you two want
to throw in the towel,
776
00:31:25,508 --> 00:31:28,303
you lose your time blocks.
777
00:31:28,386 --> 00:31:30,972
[latin music]
778
00:31:55,747 --> 00:31:59,083
[music playing]
779
00:32:01,169 --> 00:32:03,880
ROGER: [laughing] Oh,
Betsy, you are a scamp.
780
00:32:03,963 --> 00:32:07,925
Oh, Roger, you say
the sweetest things.
781
00:32:08,009 --> 00:32:10,053
Do you really think you can
get me that part of Lilith?
782
00:32:10,136 --> 00:32:13,556
Well, you happen to be
sitting with the most powerful
783
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,309
man on daytime television.
784
00:32:16,392 --> 00:32:18,269
Next to Big Bird.
785
00:32:18,353 --> 00:32:21,064
Sylvia!
786
00:32:21,147 --> 00:32:21,606
I hope you slept well.
787
00:32:21,689 --> 00:32:23,816
I hope you slept.
788
00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:27,612
Uh-- ex-- excuse
me, won't you?
789
00:32:27,695 --> 00:32:30,406
I must arrange for a
limo to take us shopping.
790
00:32:34,952 --> 00:32:37,080
What are you doing?
791
00:32:37,163 --> 00:32:39,415
Just having breakfast
with a charming man.
792
00:32:39,499 --> 00:32:41,542
He a lech-- you
said so yourself.
793
00:32:41,626 --> 00:32:43,961
Oh, Sylvia.
794
00:32:44,045 --> 00:32:47,048
Sylvia, I think you've
really misjudged Roger.
795
00:32:47,131 --> 00:32:49,967
What makes you think
he's going to get you
796
00:32:50,051 --> 00:32:53,763
that part on "Mercy Hospital?"
797
00:32:53,846 --> 00:32:56,224
I did a great audition.
798
00:32:56,307 --> 00:32:59,602
[music playing]
799
00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:02,522
[gunshot]
800
00:33:04,023 --> 00:33:06,401
I loaded that
pistol with blanks.
801
00:33:06,484 --> 00:33:08,027
Then I'll call the police.
802
00:33:12,323 --> 00:33:14,158
I'll give you half the money.
803
00:33:14,242 --> 00:33:21,082
SYLVIA [AS VICTORIA]: [laughing]
Tyler, I've always loved you.
804
00:33:21,165 --> 00:33:22,417
[laughing]
805
00:33:22,500 --> 00:33:24,377
ROGER [AS TYLER]: I have
a private jet, lady.
806
00:33:24,460 --> 00:33:26,796
My dear, you will love Rio.
807
00:33:26,879 --> 00:33:28,423
[laughing]
808
00:33:28,506 --> 00:33:30,550
Rio?
809
00:33:30,633 --> 00:33:35,430
Why would Tyler go to Rio?
810
00:33:35,513 --> 00:33:36,889
He's wanted for murder there.
811
00:33:43,771 --> 00:33:45,356
ACE: I want to talk to you.
812
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,066
Ace!
813
00:33:47,150 --> 00:33:47,608
Don't call me Ace.
814
00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:49,902
Call me Mr. Chump.
815
00:33:49,986 --> 00:33:52,947
I spent an entire
evening pouring out
816
00:33:53,030 --> 00:33:56,033
my innermost thoughts
and feelings to you, then
817
00:33:56,117 --> 00:33:59,537
I find out that you're a, uh--
818
00:33:59,620 --> 00:34:01,789
well, there's just no easy
way to say it-- you're a,
819
00:34:01,873 --> 00:34:03,583
uh-- you're a hooker.
820
00:34:03,666 --> 00:34:04,167
What?
821
00:34:04,250 --> 00:34:05,168
Where did you hear that?
822
00:34:05,251 --> 00:34:08,296
From the captain and
Gopher, that's who.
823
00:34:08,379 --> 00:34:10,173
Aw.
824
00:34:10,256 --> 00:34:12,592
[laughing] Aw, that's funny.
825
00:34:12,675 --> 00:34:13,843
[laughing]
826
00:34:13,926 --> 00:34:14,802
- You think that that's funny?
- That's a hoot.
827
00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:15,970
Huh?
Real funny.
828
00:34:16,053 --> 00:34:16,721
Aw, Ace.
829
00:34:16,804 --> 00:34:19,390
You don't understand.
830
00:34:19,474 --> 00:34:23,436
We're-- virgins.
831
00:34:23,519 --> 00:34:25,146
Oh, and that
makes it all right?
832
00:34:25,229 --> 00:34:27,106
This is disgusting.
833
00:34:27,190 --> 00:34:30,359
[music playing]
834
00:34:31,235 --> 00:34:33,279
Andy, you're
back awfully early.
835
00:34:33,362 --> 00:34:35,990
Wow, you must have set some
record for finishing, huh?
836
00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:37,492
Excuse me.
I've gotta take a shower.
837
00:34:37,575 --> 00:34:38,284
OK.
838
00:34:40,077 --> 00:34:42,997
Well, now that's
what I call modesty.
839
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:44,999
He never finished
the triathlon--
840
00:34:45,082 --> 00:34:48,795
he passed out right
after the swim.
841
00:34:48,878 --> 00:34:51,297
[dramatic music]
842
00:34:57,512 --> 00:35:01,557
[music playing]
843
00:35:06,437 --> 00:35:08,981
Ace, I realized
what's been going on.
844
00:35:09,065 --> 00:35:11,901
And I thought the captain
was acting kind of strange,
845
00:35:11,984 --> 00:35:14,862
then after what you
said, I understood.
846
00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:18,866
Look, Ace, we're not hookers.
847
00:35:18,950 --> 00:35:21,744
We're three college girls
that get a lot of flack
848
00:35:21,828 --> 00:35:23,788
because we're inexperienced.
849
00:35:23,871 --> 00:35:26,791
You're not professionals?
850
00:35:26,874 --> 00:35:29,418
We're not even amateurs.
851
00:35:29,502 --> 00:35:30,878
I guess I'm old-fashioned.
852
00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:34,924
But I'd like to
fall in love first.
853
00:35:35,007 --> 00:35:36,801
I'm really glad to hear that.
854
00:35:36,884 --> 00:35:38,261
Well, come on--
let's take a walk,
855
00:35:38,344 --> 00:35:39,428
and I'll tell you how this
whole stupid thing started.
856
00:35:39,512 --> 00:35:41,305
All right.
857
00:35:41,389 --> 00:35:42,682
See, I've got this
friend, Sherry--
858
00:35:42,765 --> 00:35:43,224
Mhm.
859
00:35:43,307 --> 00:35:44,642
She's a real jerk.
860
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:49,021
[knocking]
861
00:35:50,565 --> 00:35:52,817
[knocking]
862
00:35:53,442 --> 00:35:55,069
Hi.
863
00:35:55,152 --> 00:35:56,070
Hi.
864
00:35:56,153 --> 00:35:58,239
Oh, I'm sorry if I
woke you from a nap,
865
00:35:58,322 --> 00:36:01,242
but I've been thinking it over,
and, uh, I've reconsidered.
866
00:36:01,325 --> 00:36:03,411
It might be kind of
interesting for two people
867
00:36:03,494 --> 00:36:04,829
to share their
first time together.
868
00:36:04,912 --> 00:36:06,080
Oh, hi.
869
00:36:06,163 --> 00:36:09,417
Oh, it does sound kind of
poetic when you think about it.
870
00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:11,127
Oh.
871
00:36:11,210 --> 00:36:12,003
Beat it, kiddo.
872
00:36:15,464 --> 00:36:18,175
[door slams]
873
00:36:18,259 --> 00:36:18,301
This is terrible.
874
00:36:20,928 --> 00:36:22,597
Sylvia, I'm a rat.
875
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:24,891
This is awful!
876
00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:27,143
I know, and it's all my fault.
877
00:36:27,226 --> 00:36:29,937
Well, I don't see how
it could be your fault.
878
00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:33,983
Well, that's sweet of you to
say so, but you were so right--
879
00:36:34,066 --> 00:36:35,943
the minute we got in
that limo, Roger was
880
00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:38,279
all over me like a cheap suit.
881
00:36:38,362 --> 00:36:39,822
I saw myself in the rear
view mirror, and believe me,
882
00:36:39,906 --> 00:36:41,908
it was not a pretty sight.
883
00:36:41,991 --> 00:36:45,494
I realized how low I've stooped.
884
00:36:45,578 --> 00:36:47,246
And the worst part
of it is I'm throwing
885
00:36:47,330 --> 00:36:49,957
over my best friend for
a stupid little part
886
00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:52,543
in a sleazy soap opera.
887
00:36:52,627 --> 00:36:54,837
Not that I couldn't
have used the money,
888
00:36:54,921 --> 00:36:57,548
but our friendship is
the important thing.
889
00:36:57,632 --> 00:36:59,383
Have I hurt you terribly?
890
00:36:59,467 --> 00:37:01,802
I'm going to die!
891
00:37:01,886 --> 00:37:04,138
Well, there's no
need to lay it on.
892
00:37:04,221 --> 00:37:04,931
Sit down.
893
00:37:05,014 --> 00:37:05,973
Read this.
894
00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:08,392
Look-- there.
895
00:37:08,476 --> 00:37:11,854
Rance-- "Did you
hear the dreadful news?
896
00:37:11,938 --> 00:37:13,147
Tyler and Victoria both
got what they deserved.
897
00:37:13,230 --> 00:37:16,025
Their plane crashed
over Argentina.
898
00:37:16,108 --> 00:37:17,693
There were no survivors."
899
00:37:17,777 --> 00:37:19,278
Jessica-- I guess
I can tell you now,
900
00:37:19,362 --> 00:37:24,492
Roger was the father of
my ba--" Oh, so he was
901
00:37:24,575 --> 00:37:27,703
the father of Jessica's baby.
902
00:37:27,787 --> 00:37:29,413
Betsy, you don't
seem to understand.
903
00:37:29,497 --> 00:37:32,750
Roger demanded a bigger salary,
so they made his plane crash,
904
00:37:32,833 --> 00:37:34,335
and I was on it.
905
00:37:34,418 --> 00:37:36,671
Now we're both out of the show.
906
00:37:36,754 --> 00:37:38,005
But what about Lilith?
907
00:37:38,089 --> 00:37:40,299
She was the stewardess.
908
00:37:44,595 --> 00:37:46,722
Well, I guess
that's show business.
909
00:37:46,806 --> 00:37:50,351
We can always do dinner
theater together.
910
00:37:50,434 --> 00:37:52,269
Wait a minute--
911
00:37:52,353 --> 00:37:54,188
Roger hasn't read his script.
912
00:37:54,271 --> 00:37:55,898
He doesn't know.
913
00:37:55,982 --> 00:37:58,234
That show meant
everything to him.
914
00:37:58,317 --> 00:37:59,610
When he finds out, it
will break his heart.
915
00:37:59,694 --> 00:38:01,862
Aw.
916
00:38:01,946 --> 00:38:04,865
Let me tell him.
917
00:38:04,949 --> 00:38:08,327
[music playing]
918
00:38:22,466 --> 00:38:26,429
Sherry, have you seen
Denise at all today?
919
00:38:26,512 --> 00:38:27,388
No.
920
00:38:27,471 --> 00:38:28,723
From all those straw
donkeys on her bed,
921
00:38:28,806 --> 00:38:30,391
I think she went
shopping in Acapulco.
922
00:38:30,474 --> 00:38:32,018
That's what we
should have done.
923
00:38:32,101 --> 00:38:33,144
We should have done
a lot of things
924
00:38:33,227 --> 00:38:34,729
different on this cruise.
925
00:38:34,812 --> 00:38:36,772
Yeah, like go to
Fort Lauderdale.
926
00:38:36,856 --> 00:38:38,816
Well, I know you can
fool around there.
927
00:38:38,899 --> 00:38:40,484
Most be zoned differently.
928
00:38:40,568 --> 00:38:42,069
[sigh] Why don't
we just forget
929
00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:44,864
the manhunt and enjoy the time
we have left on this cruise?
930
00:38:44,947 --> 00:38:47,324
I guess you're right.
931
00:38:47,408 --> 00:38:48,576
You want to be my
dance partner tonight?
932
00:38:48,659 --> 00:38:50,703
Why not?
933
00:38:50,786 --> 00:38:53,622
That's how we got through
junior high, isn't it?
934
00:38:53,706 --> 00:38:56,834
[music playing]
935
00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:58,294
Good evening.
936
00:38:58,377 --> 00:38:59,712
Hey, Andy.
937
00:38:59,795 --> 00:39:00,921
Can I have a beer, please?
938
00:39:01,005 --> 00:39:02,256
Oh, certainly.
939
00:39:02,339 --> 00:39:06,552
Uh-- I really don't think
that's advisable, Andy--
940
00:39:06,635 --> 00:39:08,387
not until the diabetes
is under control.
941
00:39:08,471 --> 00:39:10,514
If you don't mind,
I'd like to have a beer.
942
00:39:10,598 --> 00:39:11,932
Thank you.
943
00:39:12,016 --> 00:39:12,600
All right.
944
00:39:12,683 --> 00:39:14,810
May I ask you a question?
945
00:39:14,894 --> 00:39:17,063
Do I have a choice?
946
00:39:17,146 --> 00:39:18,147
Well, I was wondering what
the author of fitness books
947
00:39:18,230 --> 00:39:19,732
would say to a guy like you?
948
00:39:19,815 --> 00:39:21,776
Tough luck.
949
00:39:21,859 --> 00:39:23,486
DOC: I think you'd better
reread your own book.
950
00:39:23,569 --> 00:39:26,655
You spend about
300 pages talking
951
00:39:26,739 --> 00:39:28,532
about self-discipline,
and how important
952
00:39:28,616 --> 00:39:30,367
it is to overcome obstacles.
953
00:39:30,451 --> 00:39:33,120
I guess you meant only
the easy ones, huh?
954
00:39:33,204 --> 00:39:33,996
You don't understand--
955
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:35,539
DOC: You're right,
I don't understand
956
00:39:35,623 --> 00:39:37,625
how that man and the
one standing next to me
957
00:39:37,708 --> 00:39:39,877
could be the same person.
958
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:41,587
Andy, having diabetes
does mean that you're
959
00:39:41,670 --> 00:39:44,965
going to have to conform to
some rather strict changes
960
00:39:45,049 --> 00:39:47,134
in your lifestyle.
961
00:39:47,218 --> 00:39:49,095
But Andy, you've been doing
that for years, anyway.
962
00:39:49,178 --> 00:39:50,596
That's who you are--
963
00:39:50,679 --> 00:39:55,810
somebody who goes after a
challenge head-on, and wins.
964
00:39:55,893 --> 00:40:00,272
[music playing]
965
00:40:04,902 --> 00:40:09,281
[band playing]
966
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:12,993
What a beautiful
day we've had.
967
00:40:13,077 --> 00:40:14,203
Yes.
968
00:40:14,286 --> 00:40:14,995
I just wish I hadn't
asked that man to take
969
00:40:15,079 --> 00:40:17,456
our picture in Acapulco.
970
00:40:17,540 --> 00:40:19,834
Oh, I'm sure when he
realizes it's your camera,
971
00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:21,252
he'll bring it back.
972
00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:26,507
Hi.
973
00:40:26,590 --> 00:40:27,341
VALERIE: Hi.
974
00:40:28,676 --> 00:40:30,302
Oh!
975
00:40:30,386 --> 00:40:31,637
What are these for?
976
00:40:31,720 --> 00:40:32,680
Acting like a spoiled child.
977
00:40:32,763 --> 00:40:34,932
Mm.
978
00:40:35,015 --> 00:40:36,684
And this is for
acting like a big jerk.
979
00:40:36,767 --> 00:40:42,857
And these are for various
miscellaneous personality
980
00:40:42,940 --> 00:40:43,315
flaws.
981
00:40:43,399 --> 00:40:46,694
[laughing]
982
00:40:47,820 --> 00:40:51,198
Valerie, I'm gonna
need your help.
983
00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:53,325
You've always had it.
984
00:40:53,409 --> 00:40:54,118
[kiss]
985
00:40:55,327 --> 00:40:57,538
And since we're on
the subject of gifts,
986
00:40:57,621 --> 00:41:00,040
there's something
I want to give you.
987
00:41:00,124 --> 00:41:01,000
Aw.
988
00:41:01,083 --> 00:41:03,169
A new pair of lucky socks.
989
00:41:03,252 --> 00:41:04,086
[giggling]
990
00:41:04,170 --> 00:41:04,879
Thank you.
991
00:41:04,962 --> 00:41:08,007
[music playing]
992
00:41:15,431 --> 00:41:20,060
Hello, Roger, you
big, strong galoot.
993
00:41:20,144 --> 00:41:21,770
I thought you were mad at me.
994
00:41:21,854 --> 00:41:23,647
I thought you were
both mad at me.
995
00:41:23,731 --> 00:41:24,732
Oh, we were.
996
00:41:24,815 --> 00:41:26,317
But we made up with each other.
997
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:30,154
And now, we will
make up with you.
998
00:41:30,237 --> 00:41:30,905
Yes.
999
00:41:30,988 --> 00:41:31,280
Both of you?
1000
00:41:31,363 --> 00:41:32,615
Why not?
1001
00:41:32,698 --> 00:41:33,240
We're all consenting adults.
1002
00:41:33,324 --> 00:41:36,202
[laughing] Cash me in.
1003
00:41:36,285 --> 00:41:39,205
Oh, no hurry.
1004
00:41:39,288 --> 00:41:43,292
I find it stimulating
to watch a man gamble.
1005
00:41:43,375 --> 00:41:46,921
The bigger the bet,
the bigger the man.
1006
00:41:47,004 --> 00:41:50,424
My favorite number is sex.
1007
00:41:50,507 --> 00:41:53,302
I mean six.
1008
00:41:53,385 --> 00:41:54,845
Six it is.
1009
00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:55,804
Ooh.
1010
00:41:55,888 --> 00:41:57,598
I feel a tingle already.
1011
00:41:57,681 --> 00:41:57,932
[laughing]
1012
00:41:58,015 --> 00:41:59,600
Ooh!
1013
00:41:59,683 --> 00:42:02,728
That is an awful lot of money.
1014
00:42:02,811 --> 00:42:03,437
Not when you're
the highest paid
1015
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:05,981
star on daytime television.
1016
00:42:06,065 --> 00:42:06,523
Oh!
1017
00:42:06,607 --> 00:42:08,984
That reminds me.
1018
00:42:09,068 --> 00:42:11,237
I took a look at that
script the producer
1019
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,197
gave you before you left.
1020
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,658
I guess all that money
you were asking the show
1021
00:42:15,741 --> 00:42:20,704
for was too much, so the plane
that you and Victoria were on
1022
00:42:20,788 --> 00:42:21,455
crashed.
1023
00:42:21,538 --> 00:42:23,791
No survivors.
1024
00:42:23,874 --> 00:42:26,752
We're out, Roger.
1025
00:42:26,835 --> 00:42:28,837
23 red, the winner.
1026
00:42:28,921 --> 00:42:31,840
Looks like you're
a loser, Roger.
1027
00:42:31,924 --> 00:42:34,385
Nighty-night, Roger.
1028
00:42:34,468 --> 00:42:36,720
Hope that cough gets better.
1029
00:42:39,306 --> 00:42:42,977
I enjoyed that so much!
1030
00:42:43,060 --> 00:42:44,061
It's fun to do
things together.
1031
00:42:44,144 --> 00:42:46,188
[laughing]
1032
00:42:46,272 --> 00:42:49,066
Let's make a pact-- let's
never let men, or money--
1033
00:42:49,149 --> 00:42:50,109
Or work.
1034
00:42:50,192 --> 00:42:51,652
--or work come
between us again.
1035
00:42:51,735 --> 00:42:53,237
Agree.
1036
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:54,363
I have one quarter left.
1037
00:42:57,032 --> 00:42:58,951
You pull.
1038
00:42:59,034 --> 00:43:00,744
[grinding]
1039
00:43:01,787 --> 00:43:02,121
[clicking]
1040
00:43:02,204 --> 00:43:06,000
[jingling]
1041
00:43:07,209 --> 00:43:09,253
SYLVIA: Are we good
together, or what?
1042
00:43:09,336 --> 00:43:12,756
[music playing]
1043
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:16,427
[SINGING] We've always
been bosom buddies--
1044
00:43:16,510 --> 00:43:19,179
friends, sisters, and pals.
1045
00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:23,726
We've always been bosom buddies.
1046
00:43:23,809 --> 00:43:27,271
If life should reject you,
there's me to protect you.
1047
00:43:27,354 --> 00:43:30,983
[SINGING] If I say that
your tongue is vicious--
1048
00:43:31,066 --> 00:43:32,568
[SINGING] If I
call you uncouth--
1049
00:43:32,651 --> 00:43:36,447
[SINGING] It's
simply that who else
1050
00:43:36,530 --> 00:43:41,910
but a bosom buddy will sit
down and tell you the truth?
1051
00:43:41,994 --> 00:43:44,371
[music playing]
1052
00:43:44,455 --> 00:43:47,750
[SINGING] They've always
been bosom buddies--
1053
00:43:47,833 --> 00:43:51,712
friends, and sisters, and pals.
1054
00:43:51,795 --> 00:43:54,131
Aren't they adorable?
1055
00:43:54,214 --> 00:43:55,049
[laughing]
1056
00:43:55,132 --> 00:43:57,718
[music playing]
1057
00:44:05,225 --> 00:44:07,144
[SINGING] It's
simply that who else
1058
00:44:07,227 --> 00:44:13,734
but a bosom buddy will sit
down and tell you the truth?
1059
00:44:13,817 --> 00:44:17,654
Though now and again I'm
aware that my candid opinion may
1060
00:44:17,738 --> 00:44:18,739
sting--
1061
00:44:18,822 --> 00:44:22,868
Though often my frank
observations might scorn--
1062
00:44:22,951 --> 00:44:25,412
I've been meaning to tell
you for years you should keep
1063
00:44:25,496 --> 00:44:28,248
your hair natural, like mine.
1064
00:44:28,332 --> 00:44:31,877
If I kept my hair natural
like yours, I'd be bald.
1065
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:33,087
[laughter]
1066
00:44:33,170 --> 00:44:35,381
I fell it's my
duty to tell you it's
1067
00:44:35,464 --> 00:44:38,050
time to adjust to your age.
1068
00:44:38,133 --> 00:44:42,763
You try to be Peg O' My Heart
when you're Lady Macbeth.
1069
00:44:42,846 --> 00:44:44,640
Exactly how old are you, Betsy?
1070
00:44:44,723 --> 00:44:45,933
The truth!
1071
00:44:46,016 --> 00:44:47,226
How old do you think?
1072
00:44:47,309 --> 00:44:51,271
I'd say somewhere
between 40 and death.
1073
00:44:51,355 --> 00:44:53,148
[laughter]
1074
00:44:53,232 --> 00:44:57,152
[SINGING] But sweetie--
1075
00:44:57,236 --> 00:45:01,073
[SINGING] We've always
been bosom buddies--
1076
00:45:01,156 --> 00:45:04,827
friends, sisters, and pals.
1077
00:45:04,910 --> 00:45:08,330
Who else but a bosom buddy--
1078
00:45:08,414 --> 00:45:10,958
[SINGING] Would tell
you how rotten you are?
1079
00:45:11,041 --> 00:45:17,297
[SINGING] Who else but a bosom
buddy would sit down and level,
1080
00:45:17,381 --> 00:45:23,178
and give you the devil, will
sit down and tell you the truth?
1081
00:45:23,262 --> 00:45:25,848
[music playing]
1082
00:45:30,227 --> 00:45:32,771
[applause]
1083
00:45:45,659 --> 00:45:48,996
[music playing]
1084
00:45:51,206 --> 00:45:53,292
Denise, you were
out until 4:00 AM.
1085
00:45:53,375 --> 00:45:54,001
Now, we're your best friends.
1086
00:45:54,084 --> 00:45:56,503
We deserve at least a hint.
1087
00:45:56,587 --> 00:45:57,546
All right.
1088
00:45:57,629 --> 00:46:01,133
I was not playing shuffleboard.
1089
00:46:01,216 --> 00:46:01,925
[scoff]
1090
00:46:04,052 --> 00:46:06,513
Ladies, I promised you
some boarding pictures.
1091
00:46:10,142 --> 00:46:10,851
Hm.
1092
00:46:13,187 --> 00:46:16,231
Maybe during, uh, spring break
we can get together again.
1093
00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:18,859
I'd like that.
1094
00:46:18,942 --> 00:46:22,154
And I'd like to thank you
for a really special evening.
1095
00:46:22,237 --> 00:46:26,492
[music playing]
1096
00:46:29,495 --> 00:46:30,370
[sigh]
1097
00:46:30,454 --> 00:46:31,163
Bye-bye.
1098
00:46:35,501 --> 00:46:37,544
Actually, I'm glad
we didn't do it.
1099
00:46:37,628 --> 00:46:38,587
Why?
1100
00:46:38,670 --> 00:46:40,547
This way we can save
ourselves for a truly
1101
00:46:40,631 --> 00:46:42,299
meaningful occasion.
1102
00:46:42,382 --> 00:46:43,717
You mean like homecomin'?
1103
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:47,304
Sherry, you have got to be
the shallowest person in Texas.
1104
00:46:47,387 --> 00:46:48,263
Come on.
1105
00:46:52,100 --> 00:46:54,061
So the way I
look at it, Doc, is
1106
00:46:54,144 --> 00:46:55,771
having a body in perfect
physical condition
1107
00:46:55,854 --> 00:46:57,231
was getting sort
of boring, anyway.
1108
00:46:57,314 --> 00:46:58,190
Yes, I know.
1109
00:46:58,273 --> 00:46:59,900
I gave up perfection years ago.
1110
00:46:59,983 --> 00:47:00,692
[chuckle]
1111
00:47:01,902 --> 00:47:06,532
Gopher, what are you
doing eating that junk?
1112
00:47:06,615 --> 00:47:08,075
Oh, this isn't for me.
1113
00:47:08,158 --> 00:47:08,408
I never touch the stuff.
1114
00:47:08,492 --> 00:47:11,912
Oh.
1115
00:47:11,995 --> 00:47:21,630
"With love and kisses in happy
little places, Sylvia Bennett."
1116
00:47:21,713 --> 00:47:22,881
That's my favorite picture.
1117
00:47:22,965 --> 00:47:24,132
[chuckling]
1118
00:47:24,216 --> 00:47:24,883
There you go.
1119
00:47:24,967 --> 00:47:26,426
Thank you very much.
1120
00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:28,178
Oh, this is for Vicky.
1121
00:47:28,262 --> 00:47:29,805
Oh, then I shouldn't
have written your name!
1122
00:47:29,888 --> 00:47:30,722
Oh, that's OK--
1123
00:47:30,806 --> 00:47:31,848
She'll understand.
1124
00:47:31,932 --> 00:47:34,935
Aunt Sylvia, have you
told any of your fans
1125
00:47:35,018 --> 00:47:36,937
that you're not going to be
on "Mercy Hospital" anymore?
1126
00:47:37,020 --> 00:47:38,146
Of course not.
1127
00:47:38,230 --> 00:47:40,899
I figure I have about a week
left as a soap opera star,
1128
00:47:40,983 --> 00:47:42,150
and I'm not gonna waste it.
1129
00:47:42,234 --> 00:47:46,863
Well, in that case, let one
of your fans carry our luggage.
1130
00:47:46,947 --> 00:47:48,073
[music playing]
1131
00:47:57,207 --> 00:47:59,084
[theme music]
1132
00:48:37,581 --> 00:48:40,000
[cbs jingle]
76539
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