All language subtitles for The Love Boat S08E15 Santa Santa Santa Another Dog Gone Christmas Noels Christmas Carol 1080p PMTP WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-BTN (1)_track3_[eng]
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♪♪
2
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:14,431
♪ LOVE ♪
3
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:18,268
♪ EXCITING AND NEW ♪
4
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:22,439
♪ COME ABOARD ♪
5
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:26,401
♪ WE'RE EXPECTING YOU ♪
6
00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:30,613
♪ AND LOVE ♪
7
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:34,492
♪ LIFE'S SWEETEST REWARD ♪
8
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:38,455
♪ LET IT FLOW ♪
9
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:42,667
♪ IT FLOATS BACK TO YOU ♪
10
00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:46,129
♪ THE LOVE BOAT ♪
11
00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:51,176
♪ SOON WILL BE MAKING
ANOTHER RUN ♪
12
00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:54,471
♪ THE LOVE BOAT ♪
13
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:58,725
♪ PROMISES SOMETHING
FOR EVERYONE ♪
14
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:01,144
♪ SET A COURSE FOR ADVENTURE ♪
15
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:07,275
♪ YOUR MIND ON A NEW ROMANCE ♪
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00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:10,862
♪ AND LOVE ♪
17
00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:14,991
♪ WON'T HURT ANYMORE ♪
18
00:01:15,074 --> 00:01:18,870
♪ IT'S AN OPEN SMILE ♪
19
00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:23,291
♪ ON A FRIENDLY SHORE ♪
20
00:01:23,374 --> 00:01:27,962
♪ IT'S LOVE ♪
21
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:33,927
♪ WELCOME ABOARD,
IT'S L-O-O-O-OVE ♪
22
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[CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING]
23
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-STAY THERE.
-PERFECT.
24
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,015
-HEY, CAPTAIN!
-HELLO!
25
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:22,016
-HELLO, SIR!
-HELLO.
26
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,059
-HI.
-HI, MERRILL.
27
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,394
-IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
28
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,187
CAPTAIN,
EVERYTHING'S ALL SET
29
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:27,939
AS SOON AS YOU'RE READY.
-THANK YOU.
30
00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:35,238
I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THE PRESIDENT
31
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,156
AT THE WHITE HOUSE
WHEN I DO THIS.
32
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:48,877
THANKS VERY MUCH.
YOU CAN JUST LEAVE THAT THERE.
33
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,755
OH, LOOK, VICKI.
THERE'S BILLY BANKS.
34
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,549
USED TO BE KNOWN
AS THE KING OF COMEDY.
35
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:55,925
USED TO?
36
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,969
WELL, THAT WAS BEFORE
YOUR TIME, HONEY.
37
00:02:58,052 --> 00:03:00,013
HE DOESN'T WORK TOO MUCH
ANYMORE, I'M AFRAID.
38
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:03,766
HELLO, MR. BANKS!
39
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,143
I'M CAPTAIN MERRILL STUBING.
40
00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:06,936
AND I'M VICKI STUBING.
WELCOME ABOARD.
41
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,479
THANK YOU, MATES.
42
00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:10,565
IT'S A GREAT PLEASURE
TO HAVE YOU WITH US.
43
00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:12,442
YOU'RE NOT ENTERTAINING
THE TROOPS THIS CHRISTMAS?
44
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:15,153
WELL, I, UH -- I LIKE TO GIVE
THE NEW COMICS A BREAK,
45
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,864
SO I SAID TO BOB HOPE,
"YOU DO IT THIS YEAR."
46
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,116
HEY, I GOT TO REMEMBER
THAT LINE.
47
00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:21,451
GOT A LAUGH.
48
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,411
[DOG BARKING]
49
00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:24,579
TUNDRA, WAIT.
50
00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:27,457
-TUNDRA.
-TUNDRA!
51
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:32,295
IS -- IS THAT A DOG
OR A FUR COAT WITH A TONGUE?
52
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:36,215
OH, ISN'T EVEN LAUGHING.
53
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,676
KIM, HOW IN THE WORLD
DID SHE GET HERE?
54
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,303
WELL, SHE DIDN'T SAY,
55
00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:44,140
BUT THE PERSON
WHO WAS WITH HER LEFT THIS NOTE.
56
00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:46,434
WONDER WHO IT'S FROM.
57
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,479
IT'S FROM AUNT MARTHA
AND UNCLE BILL.
58
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,479
AH.
59
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,272
THEY'VE BEEN TRANSFERRED
TO LONDON,
60
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,774
AND THEY CAN'T TAKE TUNDRA
WITH THEM.
61
00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:54,484
THAT MEANS SHE'S ALL MINE AGAIN!
62
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:55,985
SHE CAN HARDLY WAIT
TO SEE YOU!
63
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,236
-DAD.
-VICKI.
64
00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:01,658
DAD, I KNOW -- I KNOW I HAVE
TO FIND ANOTHER HOME FOR HER,
65
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:03,159
BUT MAYBE JUST...
66
00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:04,869
VICKI, IF YOU'RE ASKING
IF TUNDRA
67
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,663
CAN COME WITH US
ON THIS CRUISE,
68
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:07,830
THE ANSWER IS...
69
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,374
[WHIMPERING]
70
00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:10,667
...YES.
71
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:17,131
THANKS!
72
00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:19,133
I ALWAYS WANTED
A WHITE CHRISTMAS.
73
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,304
HEY, DOC!
74
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,723
I WANT YOU TO MEET
AN OLD PAL OF MINE, NOEL KANE,
75
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:26,766
THE WORLD'S
MOST CONFIRMED BACHELOR.
76
00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,810
-HOW DO YOU DO, DOCTOR?
-HEY, NOEL. HOW ARE YOU?
77
00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:30,228
NOW, DOC'S BEEN
MARRIED FOUR TIMES.
78
00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:31,187
OH, YOU CAN'T CATCH
THIS DISEASE!
79
00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:34,482
IT HASN'T BEEN SCIENTIFICALLY
RULED OUT.
80
00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:36,526
YOU KNOW, IN HIGH SCHOOL,
NOEL WAS VOTED MOST LIKELY
81
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,152
NEVER TO GET MARRIED.
-LISTEN.
82
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:41,322
I -- I LOVE WOMEN IN BUNCHES,
IN GROUPS,
83
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,825
FOR MINUTES, HOURS A NIGHT.
84
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:47,245
BUT FOR YEARS, NO, THANK YOU.
85
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:49,497
GENTLEMEN, IF --
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME...
86
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:56,671
OH, MY. THIS IS
SOME CHRISTMAS PRESENT!
87
00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:58,548
OH, CAROL!
THANK YOU!
88
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,717
MM.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
89
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,094
OH, WHEN THE LADIES
OF MY BRIDGE CLUB FOUND OUT,
90
00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:06,180
THEY WERE ABSOLUTELY MAD
WITH ENVY.
91
00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:06,180
GOOD!
92
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:07,890
WHEN I TOLD THEM
YOU FINALLY FOUND A FELLOW
93
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,059
AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA
BE SINGLE MUCH LONGER, OH...
94
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,144
MOTHER!
95
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:12,937
WHY ARE WE JUST STANDING AROUND
TALKING LIKE THIS?
96
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,731
WHY DON'T YOU FIND HIM?
WHERE IS HE?
97
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,733
OKAY, YOU STAY HERE
AND LOOK AROUND.
98
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,776
I WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
99
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,447
PARDON ME.
-UH-HUH.
100
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:25,074
I'M LOOKING FOR JOHN STRAUSS.
HE WORKS HERE ON THE SHIP.
101
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,451
OH, I'M SORRY.
102
00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:27,410
HE LEFT THIS MORNING.
103
00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,412
HE HAD TO GO HOME
ON A MEDICAL EMERGENCY.
104
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:30,997
-OH, NO!
-YEAH.
105
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,415
BUT IT'S NOT TERRIBLY,
TERRIBLY SERIOUS.
106
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:33,875
HE'LL BE BACK
ON THE NEXT CRUISE.
107
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:35,710
NEXT CRUISE IS TOO LATE!
108
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:36,919
ARE YOU JOHN?
109
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,087
OH, I'M SORRY.
I'M NOT.
110
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,465
OH, NO, MOTHER.
HE'S NOT JOHN.
111
00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:43,426
WELL, WHERE IS JOHN THEN?
112
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,762
JOHN!
113
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,722
JOHN!
114
00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:49,307
I'LL EXPLAIN LATER.
115
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:52,977
MOTHER, THIS IS JOHN.
116
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:56,981
JOHN,
THIS IS MY MOTHER.
117
00:05:57,065 --> 00:06:01,611
OH, I AM SO HAPPY
TO MEET YOU!
118
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,946
THIS JUST MAKES MY TRIP!
119
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,657
YOU ARE MY REAL
CHRISTMAS PRESENT!
120
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,117
OH, MY!
121
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,827
OH, COME ON, MOM.
LET'S GET SETTLED.
122
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:13,831
I'LL SEE YOU LATER, SWEETIE.
123
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:15,917
HE IS GORGEOUS!
124
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,296
JOHN?
125
00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:22,131
SWEETHEART?
126
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,925
I DON'T GET IT.
127
00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:26,010
BUT IT LOOKS
LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO.
128
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,303
MERRY CHRISTMAS,
SWEETHEART!
129
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,806
YOU MUST HAVE BEEN
A VERY GOOD BOY THIS YEAR.
130
00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:35,353
SO TELL ME.
131
00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:36,771
WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF OUR SHIP HERE, SANTA CLAUS?
132
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,314
-WELL, IT'S PERFECTION!
-MM-HMM.
133
00:06:38,397 --> 00:06:41,484
IF I CAN'T HO-HO-HO HERE,
I CAN'T HO-HO-HO ANYWHERE!
134
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:42,693
I PICKED A WINNER!
135
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,112
JUDY!
-YES.
136
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:46,280
SAY HI
TO MR. MAX PHELPS.
137
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:47,615
WELL, HELLO,
MR. MAX PHELPS.
138
00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:48,825
LET ME GET YOUR KEY.
SALLY?
139
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:50,201
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
140
00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:51,869
I'M NOT A PASSENGER.
I'M SANTA CLAUS.
141
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:54,163
HE'S PERFECT, ISN'T HE?
142
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,289
HARDLY.
143
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:56,499
THIS IS PATRICK TURNEY.
144
00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:58,042
I HIRED HIM
AS OUR SANTA CLAUS.
145
00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,669
WHAT?
146
00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:01,504
I CAN HO-HO-HO
147
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,214
BETTER THAN HE-HE-HE.
148
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:05,007
YOU'VE GOT A NICE
RED NOSE THERE.
149
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:08,219
HOW'D YOU LIKE TO HAVE
A BLACK EYE TO GO WITH IT, HUH?
150
00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:10,054
MOUTH LIKE A WHALE
AND A BRAIN LIKE A SARDINE,
151
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,514
YOU KNOW?
-GENTLEMEN!
152
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:13,307
GENTLEMEN! SIMMER DOWN!
JUST SIMMER DOWN, PLEASE!
153
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,852
GOPHER.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
154
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,145
JUST TRYING TO DO SOMEBODY
A FAVOR AROUND HERE,
155
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,813
AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENS.
156
00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:21,357
WHAT GOPHER MEANS TO SAY
IS THAT HE BOOKED A SANTA CLAUS
157
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,775
FOR THIS CRUISE
WHEN I HIRED ANOTHER.
158
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,902
NOW, WE HAVE TWO SANTAS.
159
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,529
-RIGHT.
-WRONG.
160
00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:27,905
WE HAVE THREE.
161
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,032
AND MINE IS
A SHAKESPEAREAN ACTOR.
162
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:33,703
TO HO-HO OR NOT TO HO-HO?
163
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:35,413
THAT IS THE QUESTION!
164
00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:36,706
ALL RIGHT!
165
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:38,541
YEAH!
166
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,544
[AIR HORN BLOWS]
167
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:45,173
♪♪
168
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,906
WELL, IS EVERYBODY
HAVING A GOOD TIME?
169
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,574
-HO.
-HO.
-HO.
170
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,409
WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM,
GENTLEMEN?
171
00:08:13,492 --> 00:08:15,745
THREE HOS
AND ONLY ONE BED.
172
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,246
WELL, LISTEN, FELLAS.
173
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,415
WE ARE SORRY
THERE ARE NO AVAILABLE CABINS,
174
00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:21,125
BUT WE WEREN'T EXPECTING
THREE SANTAS.
175
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,794
BUT WE'LL HANDLE THE PROBLEM.
WE'LL BRING IN A COUPLE OF COTS.
176
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:24,962
Turney: WAIT A MINUTE.
177
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,924
BRING TWO COTS IN HERE,
AND WE WON'T BE ABLE TO MOVE!
178
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:31,552
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
WHY DON'T YOU GO OUTSIDE
179
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:34,764
AND PRACTICE COMING
DOWN THE SMOKE STACKS, SANTA?
180
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,599
WHY DON'T YOU GO
PRACTICE BEING AN ANCHOR?
181
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,351
STOP IT.
STOP IT.
182
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:40,937
LOOK, FELLAS.
WE'VE BEEN SILLY.
183
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,271
I'M SURE THE TWO OF YOU
184
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,190
WOULD BE COMFORTABLE
ON THOSE COTS.
185
00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:45,983
WAIT A MINUTE.
186
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,945
HOW COME WE GET THE COTS
AND YOU GET THE BED?
187
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:51,572
-YEAH.
-OKAY, I'LL TAKE THE BED,
188
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,825
AND YOU TAKE THE COTS.
-HEY!
189
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,286
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL OVER
OUR EYES HERE, WOOL?
190
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,412
I'M GONNA...
-ALL RIGHT.
191
00:08:58,496 --> 00:08:59,413
ALL RIGHT.
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, FELLAS.
192
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:00,915
WAIT A MINUTE.
NOW, LET'S STOP ALL THE ARGUING.
193
00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:02,792
I'M SURE THAT WE'LL ALL
MAKE GREAT SANTAS.
194
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,126
NOW, LOOK.
I'VE GOT A GREAT IDEA.
195
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,045
-OKAY.
-NOW, I'LL BE SANTA THIS YEAR,
196
00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:07,588
AND YOU TWO DO IT
THE NEXT TWO YEARS.
197
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:09,298
OH, MAN.
198
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,217
[ALL ARGUING]
199
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,316
WELL, I WONDER
WHERE THAT GIRL IS.
200
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,443
YEAH, I WANT TO MET HER.
SHE SOUNDS KIND OF GOOFY.
201
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:30,987
WHY?
BECAUSE SHE KISSED ME
202
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,780
AND INTRODUCED ME
TO HER MOTHER AS JOHN?
203
00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,991
HEY, WHAT'S
IN A NAME, HUH?
204
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,159
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE
ABOUT TO FIND OUT
205
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,703
BECAUSE HERE SHE COMES.
206
00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:41,789
UH, ACE, UH,
CAROL WAS LOOKING FOR YOU.
207
00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:43,666
AH, I WAS LOOKING
FOR YOU, TOO.
208
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,001
UH, CAROL,
THIS IS ACE.
209
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,669
-AND I'M NOEL.
-HI.
210
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,671
-HI.
-I'M SORRY.
211
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:51,382
I'M SURE YOU THOUGHT
I WAS CRAZY.
212
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:55,011
BUT I TOLD MY MOTHER WE WERE
MEETING MY FIANCé, JOHN STRAUSS.
213
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,346
UH, JOHN HAD TO GO
ON EMERGENCY LEAVE.
214
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,889
YOU'RE ENGAGED
TO JOHN STRAUSS?
215
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:01,684
YOU'RE NOT ENGAGED.
216
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:04,186
WELL, NOT NOW
NOR IN THE IMMEDIATE FUTURE.
217
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,980
SHE'S OBVIOUSLY
A VERY BRIGHT GIRL.
218
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,857
-YEAH.
-BUT YOU KNOW HOW MOTHERS ARE,
219
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:10,026
ESPECIALLY MY MOTHER.
220
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,528
THEY ALWAYS WANT TO SEE
THEIR DAUGHTERS MARRIED.
221
00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:16,240
SO I ASKED JOHN
IF HE WOULD POSE AS MY FIANCé.
222
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:17,533
OH, I GET IT.
223
00:10:17,616 --> 00:10:19,827
I'M SUPPOSED
TO PLAY SECOND FIDDLE.
224
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:21,662
WELL,
CAROL TOLD HER MOTHER
225
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:24,707
THAT SHE AND JOHN
WERE GETTING MARRIED IN A YEAR.
226
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:27,835
AS LONG AS SHE'S GOT SOMETHING
TO THINK ABOUT, SHE'S HAPPY.
227
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:31,881
SO WOULD YOU
HELP ME OUT, PLEASE?
228
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,550
WHY NOT?
IT'S CHRISTMAS.
229
00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:37,678
THANK YOU...JOHN.
230
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,388
I -- I THINK
I NEED A KISS TOO,
231
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,599
OR, UH,
I'LL TELL YOUR MOTHER.
232
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,184
THAT'S BLACKMAIL.
233
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:51,901
CAREFUL.
234
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:54,278
MY FIANCé
GETS VERY JEALOUS.
235
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,363
YEAH.
236
00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,909
THAT WAS A GOOD TRICK
WITH, UH, HERE...
237
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:02,244
-SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
-YEAH?
238
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:03,746
NOW, I REMEMBER THE NIGHT
SITTING IN FRONT
239
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,539
OF THE TELEVISION SET,
240
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:07,416
ROARING WITH LAUGHTER
THANKS TO YOU.
241
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,086
YEAH, I -- I HAD A FEW
GOOD NIGHTS, I GUESS.
242
00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:11,754
OH, MORE THAN FEW,
I'M SURE.
243
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:13,464
BUT WHO NEEDS THE HASSLE?
244
00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:15,424
ARGUING WITH WRITERS,
245
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,302
FIGHTING WITH DIRECTORS,
SCREAMING AT PRODUCERS.
246
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,930
-DON'T YOU MISS THE LAUGHS?
-NO WAY. NO WAY.
247
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:22,890
YEAH, BUT
THERE'S A NEW GENERATION
248
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,600
WHO'VE NEVER
SEEN BILLY BANKS.
249
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:25,935
I'M SURE THEY'D LOVE YOU.
250
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:29,855
ME AND MY OLD JOKES?
DON'T BET ON IT.
251
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,441
I BET YOU'RE WRONG.
COME ON.
252
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,652
TRY A FEW JOKES JUST FOR ME.
-WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
253
00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:35,528
COME ON.
LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
254
00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,238
-HUH? WHAT?
-HI, THIS IS BILLY BANKS,
255
00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:38,989
THE KING OF COMEDY.
-HI.
256
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:41,575
WELL, THE -- THE -- THE --
THE KING'S NOT VERY HAPPY TODAY.
257
00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:43,119
MY WIFE
JUST HAD PLASTIC SURGERY.
258
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:46,247
I CUT UP HER CREDIT CARDS.
[LAUGHS]
259
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:47,706
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.
THE COP STOPS A DRUNK
260
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:50,167
DRIVING THE WRONG WAY
ON A ONE-WAY STREET.
261
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:52,586
COP SAYS, "DIDN'T YOU
SEE THE ARROW?"
262
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:53,963
THE DRUNK SAYS, "ARROW?
263
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:56,090
I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE INDIANS!"
264
00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:03,055
SEE? NOBODY HAS A SENSE
OF HUMOR ANYMORE.
265
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,099
NO. THEY WERE
WONDERFUL JOKES, BILLY.
266
00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:05,683
-FORGET IT.
-I'M SURE THEY LIKED YOU.
267
00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:07,435
FORGET IT.
FORGET IT.
268
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:11,647
I -- I'M HAPPY JUST THE WAY
I AM, LIVING OFF MY RERUNS.
269
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,359
SEE YA, CAPPY.
270
00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:20,114
♪♪
271
00:12:26,745 --> 00:12:28,497
DON'T WORRY, TUNDRA.
272
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,458
WE'LL FIND YOU A GOOD HOME.
273
00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:31,542
WE'LL TAKE HER PICTURE
274
00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:33,544
AND PUT IT UP
ON ALL THE BULLETIN BOARDS
275
00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:35,171
WITH A LIST
OF HER ATTRIBUTES.
276
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:38,299
OKAY.
IS SHE PEDIGREE?
277
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:44,638
I SAID PEDIGREE,
TUNDRA, NOT PEDICURED.
278
00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:48,976
UM, CAN WE SAY
SHE'S A SHOW DOG?
279
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,355
THE BEST.
280
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:57,193
OH, AND, UH,
SHE'S ALSO A VERY GOOD NURSE.
281
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,571
A NURSE?
282
00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:01,655
SURE.
WATCH WHAT I TAUGHT HER.
283
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:06,035
ACHOO!
284
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:13,584
SHE'S ADORABLE!
I WISH I COULD ADOPT HER.
285
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,549
KIM, MAKE A NOTE
286
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,927
THAT TUNDRA ALSO DOES
LIGHT HOUSEKEEPING.
287
00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:27,348
[BARKING]
288
00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:30,893
[CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYS]
289
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:33,020
[CHILDREN TALKING EXCITEDLY]
290
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,361
I'LL MAKE YOU GUYS A DEAL.
291
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:41,779
CHRISTMAS EVE, IF YOU LET
THE KIDS SIT ON YOUR LAP,
292
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:43,364
I'LL LET THE MOTHERS
SIT ON MINE.
293
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:45,574
THAT'S A NICE WAY
FOR A SANTA CLAUS TO TALK.
294
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,076
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!
295
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:49,787
NO DICTION, NO PROJECTION!
296
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,414
IF EITHER OF YOU
PLAYED SANTA CLAUS,
297
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:55,209
CHRISTMAS
WOULD CLOSE ON OPENING NIGHT!
298
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,424
ATTENTION, PASSENGERS.
299
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:05,469
DINNER IS NOW BEING SERVEDIN THE CORAL DINING ROOM.
300
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,430
MY FRIEND ACE IS REAL LUCKY
TO BE ENGAGED TO YOUR DAUGHTER.
301
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,432
THANK YOU.
ACE?
302
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,268
JOHN, I -- I HATE
THAT NAME, ACE.
303
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:13,435
ME TOO.
304
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,397
BUT YOU KNOW
HOW THOSE NICKNAMES STICK.
305
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,773
WE CALL HIM ACE
BECAUSE HE'S A WINNER.
306
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:19,650
YOUR DAUGHTER IS GETTING
A REAL WINNER.
307
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:22,778
OH, WELL, MY DAUGHTER WOULDN'T
SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS.
308
00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:24,822
IT'S WHY
SHE WAITED SO LONG.
309
00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:26,156
MOTHER, I'M NOT THAT...
310
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,950
DO YOU LIKE
LARGE FAMILIES, JOHN?
311
00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:30,119
OH, SURE!
ABSOLUTELY!
312
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:31,829
HOW MANY BROTHERS
AND SISTERS DO YOU HAVE?
313
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:37,751
OH, UH, YOU MEAN US.
314
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,295
I JUST CAN'T WAIT
TO BE A GRANDMOTHER!
315
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,171
IS IT OKAY
IF I FINISH MY DINNER FIRST?
316
00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:43,132
-OH.
-YOU KNOW,
317
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:44,967
IT IS FUNNY HOW LOVE
TAKES YOU BY SURPRISE.
318
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,635
IT SEEMS LIKE,
JUST YESTERDAY,
319
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,972
MARRIAGE WAS THE FARTHEST THING
FROM MY MIND.
320
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:52,474
YOU KNOW,
JOHN'S REAL LUCKY, ALL RIGHT.
321
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:55,769
IF I HAD MET CAROL EARLIER,
WE COULD BE TOGETHER.
322
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,146
ISN'T IT AMAZING
323
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:59,982
HOW THE TWO RIGHT PEOPLE
SEEM TO FIND EACH OTHER
324
00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:02,651
WITH ALL OF THE OTHER PEOPLE
IN THE WORLD?
325
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,114
YEAH.
326
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:11,327
I LOVE CHRISTMAS.
327
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,662
IT'S TOO BAD
IT ONLY COMES ONCE A YEAR.
328
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,540
WELL, I CAN'T WAIT FOR SANTA
TO SHOW UP TOMORROW NIGHT.
329
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:20,002
THAT'S WHEN I'LL REALLY
KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS.
330
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,629
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!
331
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:24,381
HO-HO-HO!
332
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:27,343
HO-HO-HO-HO!
HO-HO-HO-HO!
333
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,637
WELL, I'LL BE.
IT'S SANTA CLAUS!
334
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,847
A LITTLE EARLY,
BUT THAT'S HIM!
335
00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:33,974
WHAT'S HE DOING HERE
TONIGHT?
336
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:36,685
BEATS THE REINDEER
OUT OF ME, SIR.
337
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,520
MERRY CHRISTMAS,
EVERYONE!
338
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:43,817
YEAH.
339
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:46,320
TWO SANTAS?
340
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:52,868
CHRISTMAS GREETINGS
TO ONE AND ALL!
341
00:15:52,951 --> 00:15:55,537
LOOKS LIKE A CLOSE-OUT SALE
ON SANTAS.
342
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:59,249
THREE SANTAS.
WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?
343
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,210
I HIRED THE ONE
ON THE LEFT, SIR.
344
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:04,171
AND THE ONE ON THE RIGHT
IS MINE.
345
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:05,923
CAN YOU GUESS WHICH ONE'S MINE?
346
00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:10,886
WELL...MY THANKS
TO THE THREE OF YOU.
347
00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:12,346
IT'S A MARVELOUS IDEA.
348
00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:14,348
SANTA CLAUSES
AROUND THE CLOCK!
349
00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:16,850
THREE TIMES
AS MUCH CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!
350
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:19,311
[CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYS]
351
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,250
WELL, GIRLS,
ANY NEWS ON TUNDRA?
352
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,210
NOT A BITE.
353
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:45,462
NO ONE SEEMS TO WANT
TO GIVE HER A HOME.
354
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:46,755
BILLY BANKS.
355
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,424
I DON'T THINK ANYONE
WANTS TO GIVE HIM A HOME
356
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:49,883
EITHER.
-NO.
357
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,261
I MEAN, LET'S GET
THE TWO OF THEM TOGETHER.
358
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:55,264
TUNDRA NEEDS A HOME.
BILLY NEEDS COMPANIONSHIP.
359
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:58,434
OLDER PEOPLE GET A GREAT DEAL
OF COMFORT FROM THEIR PETS.
360
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,776
DO YOU THINK MR. BANKS WILL
REALLY TAKE TUNDRA, CAPTAIN?
361
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,778
I DON'T KNOW,
BUT IT'S CERTAINLY WORTH A TRY.
362
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,947
WELL, IT'S GONNA BE A TOUGH JOB
TALKING HIM INTO IT,
363
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,449
BUT I THINK
WE CAN DO IT.
364
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,617
KIM AND I HAVE AN IDEA.
-AH.
365
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,786
I'VE NEVER PLAYED MATCHMAKER
FOR A DOG BEFORE,
366
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,788
BUT I'LL CERTAINLY
GIVE IT MY BEST SHOT.
367
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:23,000
WELL, THERE HE IS AT THE BAR.
GOOD LUCK.
368
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,626
HOPE THIS WORKS.
369
00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:32,426
MR. BANKS.
370
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,136
-HI.
-HI.
371
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,472
WE ARE GIVING
FREE PALM READINGS TONIGHT.
372
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:38,766
LEARN YOUR FUTURE.
-OH.
373
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:41,310
I SEE YOU ARE GOING
ON A LONG JOURNEY.
374
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:43,812
-I AM ON A LONG JOURNEY.
-SEE?
375
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:47,107
OUR PREDICTIONS
ARE COMING TRUE ALREADY.
376
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:51,361
OH, AND YOU'RE GOING
TO MEET A BEAUTIFUL CREATURE.
377
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,530
KEEP TALKING.
KEEP TALKING.
378
00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,783
OH, LOOK.
SHE HAS BIG, BROWN EYES
379
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,201
AND LONG, GORGEOUS HAIR.
380
00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:59,161
AND A GREAT BODY.
381
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:01,997
NOW, THAT'S WHAT I CALL
A CHRISTMAS PRESENT.
382
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,958
-DO YOU WANT TO MEET HER?
-DO I? SURE!
383
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,044
SUPER! WE'LL BRING HER
BY YOUR CABIN TONIGHT.
384
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:08,337
-TERRIFIC!
-SEE YA LATER.
385
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:10,088
SO LONG.
386
00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:14,718
WITH MY LUCK,
SHE'LL PROBABLY BE A DOG.
387
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,973
THAT WAS PRETTY SMART OF ME,
TELLING YOUR MOTHER THAT,
388
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:24,144
AS BEST MAN, I SHOULD PRACTICE
DANCING WITH THE BRIDE.
389
00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:27,981
NOT SMART, DEVIOUS.
390
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:29,483
I SHOULD TALK.
391
00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:31,652
MISS DEVIOUS HERSELF.
392
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,532
I MEANT
WHAT I SAID AT DINNER.
393
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:39,827
I WISH I HAD MET YOU
BEFORE ACE DID.
394
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:40,869
NO.
395
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:44,331
YOU'RE HOLDING ME
TOO TIGHTLY.
396
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:45,874
OH, I'M -- I'M SORRY.
397
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,543
MOTHER IS WATCHING.
398
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,545
♪♪
399
00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:56,385
RIGHT. RIGHT.
400
00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:03,141
NOEL, YOU'RE HOLDING ME
TOO LOOSELY.
401
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:13,277
SO, UH, WHERE ARE
YOU AND CAROL GONNA LIVE
402
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:16,029
WHEN YOU GET MARRIED?
403
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:18,949
UH, WE HAVEN'T
DECIDED YET.
404
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,910
WHERE DOES
YOUR FRIEND LIVE?
405
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,120
NOEL?
406
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:24,955
ON THE EAST COAST.
407
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,128
IF I WERE YOU,
I'D STAY ON THE WEST COAST.
408
00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:44,933
DON'T WORRY. YOU'LL GET
ALL YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS.
409
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,019
GET YOU
A 600-POUND MOTHBALL.
410
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:48,145
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
GO AHEAD, SON!
411
00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:50,939
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
412
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,108
HI, SANTA.
MY NAME IS MARK.
413
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:57,070
MARK! OH, WELL!
OH, WHAT A NICE NAME, MARK!
414
00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:58,614
OH, HO-HO-HO-HO!
415
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,782
-OH, HO-HO-HO!
-OH, HO-HO-HO!
416
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,784
WELL,
I'M GLAD THE CAPTAIN
417
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,077
LIKED THE IDEA
OF THE THREE SANTAS.
418
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,288
YEAH, WE WERE LUCKY.
419
00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:07,748
WELL, THEY MAKE THE LINE
GO FASTER.
420
00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:10,125
THREE SANTAS, NO WAITING.
PERFECT.
421
00:20:10,208 --> 00:20:11,793
AND HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY
THIS YEAR?
422
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:12,794
YES.
423
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:14,463
YOU HAVE?
HO-HO-HO!
424
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:15,255
AND WHAT WOULD
YOU LIKE SANTA
425
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:16,965
TO BRING YOU
FOR CHRISTMAS, HMM?
426
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,634
A SKATEBOARD, A BICYCLE...
427
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,761
-MM-HMM.
-...AND A VIDEO GAME.
428
00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:22,512
OH, THAT'S NOTHIN'.
THAT'S NOTHIN'.
429
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,806
THOSE ARE
STOCKIN' STUFFERS.
430
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:25,724
HOW ABOUT A COMPUTER
LIKE THE ONE
431
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:29,478
IN DADDY'S OFFICE,
ONE OF THEM BIG JOBS?
432
00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,146
OH.
ONE OF THEM BIG JOBS.
433
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,814
I'M TALKING ABOUT
A BIG JOB.
434
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,358
THAT'S BUBKES.
435
00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:35,984
THIS IS CHRISTMAS.
THIS IS BIG TIME.
436
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,152
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR OWN CAR
AND A CHAUFFEUR
437
00:20:37,235 --> 00:20:39,154
TO DRIVE YOU UNTIL YOU'RE OLD
ENOUGH TO DRIVE YOURSELF?
438
00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:40,530
ISN'T THAT A GOOD ONE?
-MARK, IT'S TIME FOR BED.
439
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,199
WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT!
440
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:43,784
LADY, PLEASE, GIVE ME
FIVE MORE MINUTES WITH HIM.
441
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,869
-TIME FOR BED.
-LET HIM STAY WITH ME.
442
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,497
MARK, MARK, MARK, UH, SANTA
HAS TO GO TO BED.
443
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,040
THINK BIG, MARK!
444
00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:52,334
REMEMBER, IT'S ONLY
ONE MORE DAY!
445
00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:52,334
SANTA...
446
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:55,963
YOU GUYS BETTER
GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER,
447
00:20:56,046 --> 00:21:00,342
OR YOU'RE ALL GOING
TO HEAR THE DREADED TWO WORDS.
448
00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:02,052
YOU'RE FIRED?
449
00:21:04,262 --> 00:21:06,306
SANTA OVERBOARD.
450
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,693
♪♪
451
00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:21,196
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
452
00:21:21,279 --> 00:21:24,491
HERE I COME.
453
00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:26,243
HERE SHE IS.
454
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:36,211
THAT'S HER?
455
00:21:36,294 --> 00:21:40,382
WE PROMISED YOU LONG, GORGEOUS
HAIR AND BIG, BROWN EYES.
456
00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:42,259
BYE.
-BYE.
457
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:45,512
WAIT, WAIT.
458
00:21:45,595 --> 00:21:46,722
[TUNDRA BARKS]
459
00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:57,899
I WAS RIGHT.
YOU ARE A DOG.
460
00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,777
IS THAT SOME JOKE?
461
00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:03,321
WELL,
WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH YOU?
462
00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,243
MM.
THAT'S -- THAT'S NICE.
463
00:22:08,326 --> 00:22:09,453
CAN YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE?
464
00:22:09,536 --> 00:22:11,038
FETCH MY SLIPPERS?
465
00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:25,010
THOSE ARE SHOES, DUMMY.
I SAID SLIPPERS.
466
00:22:25,093 --> 00:22:26,720
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
YOU DON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?
467
00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:31,808
HUH. YOU KNOW SOMETHIN'?
468
00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:35,562
YOU'RE A LOT SMARTER
THAN MOST OF MY DATES.
469
00:22:35,645 --> 00:22:37,939
WELL, JOKE'S OVER.
470
00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:39,524
I'LL TAKE YOU BACK TO VICKI NOW.
471
00:22:43,361 --> 00:22:47,282
OH. OKAY, OKAY.
472
00:22:47,365 --> 00:22:49,534
HEY, I'LL TAKE YOU
BACK IN THE MORNING.
473
00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:51,495
YOU CAN STAY THE NIGHT.
474
00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:05,759
-I WANT TO THANK YOU.
-HMM?
475
00:23:05,842 --> 00:23:07,177
I -- I MEAN, FOR THE TROUBLE.
476
00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:10,305
OH, IT WAS MY PLEASURE.
477
00:23:10,388 --> 00:23:13,683
I THINK MY MOM LIKES THE IDEA
OF YOU AS A SON-IN-LAW.
478
00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:16,436
WELL,
IT -- IT'S BEEN FUN.
479
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,939
LISTEN.
I'VE GOT A JOB TO DO.
480
00:23:19,022 --> 00:23:20,982
WILL YOU TAKE CARE
OF MY GIRL?
481
00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:23,151
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU'RE PRETTY TRUSTING.
482
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,861
AH, SHE'S IN GOOD HANDS.
483
00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:25,987
SEE YA.
484
00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:27,781
LATER.
485
00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:37,999
STAR LIGHT, STAR BRIGHT.
486
00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:39,793
HEAR THE WISH
I WISH TONIGHT.
487
00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:55,016
WHAT DID YOU WISH?
488
00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:58,061
I MADE TWO WISHES.
489
00:23:58,145 --> 00:24:00,564
YOU ALREADY FULFILLED
THE FIRST ONE.
490
00:24:00,647 --> 00:24:03,650
AND THE SECOND?
491
00:24:03,733 --> 00:24:05,277
MORE OF THE FIRST.
492
00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:36,349
SO HOW ARE THINGS COMING
ALONG WITH YOUR THREE SANTAS?
493
00:24:36,433 --> 00:24:38,393
GREAT, SIR.
THEY'RE JUST COMING ALONG GREAT.
494
00:24:38,476 --> 00:24:39,936
THE GUYS LIKE EACH OTHER.
-GOOD.
495
00:24:40,020 --> 00:24:41,938
YOU KNOW,
IT'S AN INTRIGUING IDEA.
496
00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:44,191
MAYBE SOME OTHER SHIPS
IN THE LINE WILL PICK UP ON IT.
497
00:24:44,274 --> 00:24:46,067
-YEAH.
-THAT'S VERY POSSIBLE, SIR.
498
00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:48,069
UH, DON'T FORGET, SIR,
IT STARTED RIGHT HERE.
499
00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:50,322
YES.
THANKS TO YOU THREE.
500
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,162
YOU CALL YOURSELF
A SANTA CLAUS?
501
00:24:58,663 --> 00:25:01,208
Turney: YOU COULDN'T PLAY
A TREE ON ARBOR DAY.
502
00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:21,561
[ALARM CLOCK RINGING]
503
00:25:21,645 --> 00:25:23,605
MM, MM, MM.
504
00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:26,274
WHAT'S -- WHAT'S GOING ON?
OH, BOY.
505
00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:27,651
[RINGING STOPS]
506
00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:34,282
[BARKING]
507
00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:36,826
OKAY.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
508
00:25:36,910 --> 00:25:40,121
I -- I GET THE MESSAGE, DOGGY.
EASY.
509
00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:42,499
WHAT? OH,
YOU WANT TO TAKE A WALK.
510
00:25:42,582 --> 00:25:44,125
I GET IT.
OKAY, HERE YOU GO.
511
00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:46,670
HEY, UH,
DON'T FORGET THE ROOM NUMBER.
512
00:25:52,008 --> 00:25:53,802
YEAH. THIS IS,
UH, BILLY BANKS. YEAH.
513
00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:57,305
WOULD YOU PLEASE SEND ME
BACON AND EGGS OVER MEDIUM,
514
00:25:57,389 --> 00:25:58,682
TOAST, COFFEE?
515
00:25:58,765 --> 00:25:59,933
RIGHT.
THANK YOU.
516
00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:38,054
OH, BOY.
THAT'S WHAT I CALL FAST SERVICE.
517
00:26:38,138 --> 00:26:39,681
YOU'RE BACK, HUH?
518
00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:57,699
DUMMIES.
I ORDERED BACON.
519
00:26:57,782 --> 00:26:59,034
THEY SEND ME HAM.
520
00:27:03,496 --> 00:27:07,917
WELL, I SURE WISH I HAD A DOG
LIKE YOU WHEN I WAS A KID.
521
00:27:08,001 --> 00:27:09,711
I WISH I COULD KEEP YOU NOW,
522
00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:14,174
BUT I BARELY HAVE ENOUGH MONEY
TO FEED ME, LET ALONE YOU.
523
00:27:14,257 --> 00:27:16,676
MM-HMM.
524
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:18,219
YOU WANT TO HEAR A SECRET?
525
00:27:20,764 --> 00:27:23,266
I WON THIS TRIP ON A RAFFLE.
526
00:27:23,350 --> 00:27:26,227
MM-HMM.
YEAH.
527
00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:28,897
BOY. YEAH.
528
00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:31,524
I -- I WISH YOU COULD'VE SEEN ME
WHEN I WAS KING OF COMEDY.
529
00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:35,236
OH, YOU WOULD HAVE
BEEN SO PROUD OF ME.
530
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,031
YEAH.
531
00:27:38,114 --> 00:27:41,076
YOU WANT SOME HAM?
532
00:27:41,159 --> 00:27:42,869
OH, IT'S OKAY.
IT'S OKAY.
533
00:27:42,952 --> 00:27:46,247
THE -- THE -- THIS --
THE FOOD'S FREE ON THE CRUISE.
534
00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:47,248
I CAN GET MORE.
535
00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:48,917
HERE.
536
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,419
THERE YOU GO.
537
00:27:51,503 --> 00:27:53,380
HEY, TUND.
538
00:27:53,463 --> 00:27:56,174
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT, KIDDO.
539
00:27:56,257 --> 00:27:57,717
GIVE ME A KISS.
540
00:28:07,060 --> 00:28:08,937
THANKS TO YOUR FIGHTING
LAST NIGHT,
541
00:28:09,020 --> 00:28:10,605
WE REALLY CAUGHT IT
FROM THE CAPTAIN.
542
00:28:10,688 --> 00:28:12,399
YEAH, AND IF WE DIDN'T
NEED A SANTA FOR TONIGHT,
543
00:28:12,482 --> 00:28:13,775
WE'D FIRE EACH OF YOU.
544
00:28:13,858 --> 00:28:15,443
I DON'T KNOW
WHY WE HIRED YOU THREE.
545
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,737
WELL, THIS IS WHAT WE GET
FOR DOING OUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING
546
00:28:17,821 --> 00:28:19,447
AT THE LAST MINUTE.
547
00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:20,657
NOW, LOOK.
548
00:28:20,740 --> 00:28:23,243
I WANT YOU GUYS
TO JOLLY UP,
549
00:28:23,326 --> 00:28:25,120
OR YOU'RE GONNA BE
SWIMMING BACK TO LOS ANGELES.
550
00:28:25,203 --> 00:28:27,789
THE CAPTAIN SAYS WE DON'T NEED
THREE FIGHTING SANTAS,
551
00:28:27,872 --> 00:28:29,624
SO YOU EITHER GET ALONG
WITH EACH OTHER,
552
00:28:29,707 --> 00:28:30,959
OR TWO OF YOU ARE GONE.
553
00:28:31,042 --> 00:28:32,585
YOU UNDERSTAND?
DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?
554
00:28:32,669 --> 00:28:34,379
THANK YOU.
555
00:28:39,509 --> 00:28:40,677
THAT WAS NICE, GOPH.
556
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:42,804
JUST THE RIGHT BALANCE OF QUIET
AUTHORITY AND LOUD YELLING.
557
00:28:42,887 --> 00:28:44,597
YEAH.
558
00:28:46,766 --> 00:28:48,309
GOPHER IS RIGHT.
559
00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:50,854
THEY DON'T NEED
THREE SANTA CLAUSES.
560
00:28:50,937 --> 00:28:52,939
COME ON.
LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH
561
00:28:53,022 --> 00:28:54,357
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
562
00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:57,986
WHOEVER GETS THE HIGH CARD
GETS TO PLAY SANTA CLAUS
563
00:28:58,069 --> 00:28:59,988
AND KEEPS ALL THE PAYCHECKS.
OKAY?
564
00:29:00,071 --> 00:29:01,614
ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.
565
00:29:04,951 --> 00:29:07,328
HELLO. I'D LIKE
TO SEND A CABLEGRAM, PLEASE,
566
00:29:07,412 --> 00:29:09,706
TO MRS. MARY PHELPS,
GENERAL DELIVERY,
567
00:29:09,789 --> 00:29:11,458
WICHITA, KANSAS.
568
00:29:11,541 --> 00:29:14,794
DEAR MOM, MAY NOT BE ABLE
TO PAY FOR YOUR OPERATION.
569
00:29:14,878 --> 00:29:19,340
TRY TO HANG ON.
LOVE, MAX.
570
00:29:19,424 --> 00:29:20,467
OKAY. I'M READY.
571
00:29:20,550 --> 00:29:22,802
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
572
00:29:22,886 --> 00:29:24,929
-LAUNDRY?
-RIGHT OVER HERE, SIR.
573
00:29:26,764 --> 00:29:29,350
I WON'T NEED IT
TILL WE GET BACK TO L.A.
574
00:29:29,434 --> 00:29:31,394
HOLD ON JUST A MINUTE.
575
00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:32,979
LET ME SEE THIS.
576
00:29:36,065 --> 00:29:38,359
HE WAS GETTIN' RID
OF OUR SANTA CLAUS OUTFITS.
577
00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:41,029
HOW LOW CAN A PERSON GET?
578
00:29:42,739 --> 00:29:45,992
OH, BY THE WAY, YOUR TELEPHONE
SHOULD BE FIXED IN AN HOUR.
579
00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:52,707
POOR MOM.
580
00:29:52,790 --> 00:29:55,376
YOU PHONE PHONY.
581
00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:57,754
I'VE HAD IT
WITH BOTH OF YOU.
582
00:29:57,837 --> 00:30:00,381
I'VE NEVER DEALT
WITH SUCH DISHONESTY
583
00:30:00,465 --> 00:30:02,717
IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
584
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,887
WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
585
00:30:05,970 --> 00:30:07,847
I KNEW WHEN I FIRST MET YOU
586
00:30:07,931 --> 00:30:09,766
THAT YOU WEREN'T DEALING
WITH A FULL DECK.
587
00:30:09,849 --> 00:30:12,268
WHAT IS THIS?
-AN ACE.
588
00:30:12,352 --> 00:30:14,103
AIN'T THAT A KILLER?
589
00:30:16,272 --> 00:30:18,566
♪♪
590
00:30:41,130 --> 00:30:43,883
SO, WHILE SANTA
WAS FEEDING HIS REINDEER
591
00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:47,804
AND FILLING HIS SACK LAST NIGHT,
WHAT DID YOU TWO DO?
592
00:30:50,139 --> 00:30:53,142
OH, WE DID A LITTLE
PRE-CHRISTMAS GIFT GIVING.
593
00:30:53,226 --> 00:30:55,478
A FEW TRIFLES,
NOTHING MUCH.
594
00:30:55,562 --> 00:30:56,896
UH-HUH.
595
00:30:56,980 --> 00:30:58,898
YOU KNOW, IF ONLY
I WERE THE SERIOUS TYPE.
596
00:30:58,982 --> 00:30:59,941
BUT OF COURSE, I'M NOT.
597
00:31:00,024 --> 00:31:01,943
OH, NOR AM I.
598
00:31:02,026 --> 00:31:04,195
WHAT MAKES HER SO UNBELIEVABLY
ATTRACTIVE TO ME
599
00:31:04,279 --> 00:31:06,531
IS HER
ABSOLUTE UNAVAILABILITY.
600
00:31:06,614 --> 00:31:08,491
NO STRINGS ATTACHED.
601
00:31:09,993 --> 00:31:12,579
[CLEARS THROAT]
602
00:31:12,662 --> 00:31:15,081
EXCEPT TO YOU, JOHN.
603
00:31:17,375 --> 00:31:19,002
GOOD MORNING,
MOTHER KELSEY.
604
00:31:19,085 --> 00:31:22,130
-GOOD MORNING.
-GOOD MORNING.
605
00:31:22,213 --> 00:31:24,299
GOOD MORNING, MOTHER.
DID YOU HAVE A GOOD NIGHT?
606
00:31:24,382 --> 00:31:26,634
A FEW UNNERVING MOMENTS.
607
00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:28,803
MAYBE YOU'RE NOT USED
TO THE SHIP.
608
00:31:28,886 --> 00:31:30,013
I'M NOT USED TO THE SHIP.
609
00:31:30,096 --> 00:31:32,265
HAVE YOU SEEN
THE FABULOUS BUFFET?
610
00:31:32,348 --> 00:31:33,808
I'M NOT VERY HUNGRY.
611
00:31:33,891 --> 00:31:36,144
LET'S GO FOR A WALK AND LEAVE
THESE TWO LOVEBIRDS ALONE.
612
00:31:36,227 --> 00:31:38,354
AH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M VERY BUSY THIS MORNING,
613
00:31:38,438 --> 00:31:40,189
SO I SIGNED
CAROL AND NOEL UP
614
00:31:40,273 --> 00:31:41,316
FOR THE SHUFFLEBOARD
TOURNAMENT.
615
00:31:41,399 --> 00:31:42,817
IN FACT,
YOU'D BETTER GET GOING.
616
00:31:42,900 --> 00:31:43,818
-OH. OH, RIGHT.
-SHUFFLEBOARD!
617
00:31:43,901 --> 00:31:45,570
COME ON, NOEL.
618
00:31:45,653 --> 00:31:47,864
SEE YA LATER, MOM.
-CAROL, WE HAVE TO TALK.
619
00:31:47,947 --> 00:31:49,824
OH -- OH, SURE.
LATER.
620
00:31:49,907 --> 00:31:50,700
SWEETHEART...
-YEAH?
621
00:31:50,783 --> 00:31:52,452
TAKE CARE OF MY MOTHER.
622
00:31:52,535 --> 00:31:55,204
AND YOU TAKE CARE
OF MY SWEETHEART.
623
00:32:00,585 --> 00:32:01,461
DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
624
00:32:01,544 --> 00:32:03,004
NO. WHY?
625
00:32:03,087 --> 00:32:04,964
I DON'T THINK
YOU SEE SO GOOD.
626
00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:09,093
♪♪
627
00:32:16,643 --> 00:32:18,770
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
628
00:32:21,939 --> 00:32:24,192
-HERE'S YOUR DOG. BYE.
-OH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
629
00:32:24,275 --> 00:32:26,235
I -- I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU'D WANT TO KEEP HER.
630
00:32:26,319 --> 00:32:27,862
Billy: I DID KEEP HER
ONE NIGHT.
631
00:32:27,945 --> 00:32:29,030
NOW SHE'S YOURS AGAIN.
BYE.
632
00:32:29,113 --> 00:32:32,700
WAIT!
WE THOUGHT THAT MAYBE
633
00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:33,910
YOU MIGHT WANT
TO KEEP HER FOR GOOD.
634
00:32:33,993 --> 00:32:36,204
-YEAH.
-FOR GOOD?
635
00:32:36,287 --> 00:32:38,456
HEY, WHO NEEDS
THE RESPONSIBILITY?
636
00:32:38,539 --> 00:32:40,249
I MEAN, YOU'VE GOT A DOG,
TAKES UP ALL YOUR TIME.
637
00:32:40,333 --> 00:32:42,168
YOU WALK IT.
YOU'VE GOT TO FEED IT.
638
00:32:42,251 --> 00:32:43,211
I HAVEN'T GOT TIME
FOR THAT KIND OF STUFF.
639
00:32:43,294 --> 00:32:43,878
I'M A BUSY MAN.
640
00:32:43,961 --> 00:32:46,589
BUT WE -- WE KIND OF HOPED.
641
00:32:46,673 --> 00:32:48,383
OH, I GET IT.
642
00:32:48,466 --> 00:32:50,718
YOU HOPED THAT
I'D GET HOOKED ON THE DOG
643
00:32:50,802 --> 00:32:53,221
AND WANT TO KEEP IT.
HUH?
644
00:32:53,304 --> 00:32:56,140
NO WAY. BYE.
645
00:33:01,312 --> 00:33:03,898
DON'T WORRY, TUNDRA.
646
00:33:03,981 --> 00:33:05,692
WE'LL FIND YOU
A NICE HOME.
647
00:33:05,775 --> 00:33:07,527
POOR TUNDRA.
648
00:33:14,951 --> 00:33:16,619
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
649
00:33:16,703 --> 00:33:19,580
WE ARE NOW ENTERINGTHE FABULOUS PORT OF ACAPULCO.
650
00:33:19,664 --> 00:33:21,290
WE WILL BE HERETHROUGHOUT THE DAY AND EVENING.
651
00:33:21,374 --> 00:33:23,501
WHETHER YOU ENJOY DININGAND DANCING ONBOARD
652
00:33:23,584 --> 00:33:26,170
OR TAKING IN ONEOF THE CITY'S MANY NIGHT SPOTS,
653
00:33:26,254 --> 00:33:28,089
WE'RE SURETHIS WILL BE A MEMORABLE DAY.
654
00:33:43,312 --> 00:33:45,106
ALL RIGHT.
HAVE WE FORGOTTEN ANYONE?
655
00:33:45,189 --> 00:33:47,442
-WELL, THIS ONE'S FOR ISAAC.
-ISAAC?
656
00:33:47,525 --> 00:33:51,237
-AND THIS LAST ONE'S FOR GOPHER.
-GOPHER!
657
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,614
-AH, WHAT ABOUT TUNDRA?
-OH, I KNOW!
658
00:33:53,698 --> 00:33:57,034
WE COULD HAVE THE CHEF GIFT-WRAP
A BIG BONE FOR HER.
659
00:33:57,118 --> 00:33:58,494
WELL, THEN
THAT'S EVERYBODY.
660
00:33:58,578 --> 00:33:59,996
BILLY BANKS?
661
00:34:00,079 --> 00:34:02,123
OH, NO.
WE CAN'T FORGET ABOUT BILLY!
662
00:34:02,206 --> 00:34:03,458
WHAT DO YOU THINK
HE'D LIKE?
663
00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:05,501
-OH, A MONEY CLIP...
-SIR.
664
00:34:05,585 --> 00:34:06,919
-SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
-MM-HMM?
665
00:34:07,003 --> 00:34:08,212
I BET HE'D LOVE A CHANCE
666
00:34:08,296 --> 00:34:09,630
TO PREFORM
AT OUR CHRISTMAS SHOW.
667
00:34:09,714 --> 00:34:11,424
THAT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA.
668
00:34:11,507 --> 00:34:14,802
VICKI, WHY DON'T YOU AND KIM
BREAK THE GOOD NEWS TO HIM?
669
00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:16,471
I'M GLAD I THOUGHT OF THAT.
670
00:34:39,494 --> 00:34:41,204
YEAH, I HAVEN'T SEEN
MUCH OF YOUR MOTHER TODAY.
671
00:34:41,287 --> 00:34:42,830
YEAH, WE ONLY HAVE ONE MORE DAY
TO STALL HER OFF.
672
00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:45,458
OH, WITH MY MOTHER, A LOT
CAN HAPPEN IN ONE DAY.
673
00:34:45,541 --> 00:34:46,626
[CHUCKLES]
674
00:34:48,002 --> 00:34:49,128
-THERE YOU GO, DARLING.
-THANK YOU.
675
00:34:49,212 --> 00:34:50,213
THERE YOU ARE.
676
00:34:50,296 --> 00:34:53,174
-OH, THERE THEY ARE!
-AH.
677
00:34:53,257 --> 00:34:56,010
SWEETHEARTS, I HAVE THE MOST
WONDERFUL NEWS FOR YOU!
678
00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:57,845
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT
A WHOLE YEAR TO GET MARRIED!
679
00:34:57,929 --> 00:34:59,889
THE CAPTAIN SAYS YOU
CAN GET MARRIED TOMORROW.
680
00:34:59,972 --> 00:35:01,015
HE'LL DO IT HIMSELF!
681
00:35:01,098 --> 00:35:03,017
-CONGRATULATIONS.
-NO.
682
00:35:03,100 --> 00:35:05,353
IT'S -- IT'S - IT'S ACE.
-ACE.
683
00:35:05,436 --> 00:35:08,314
Mother Kelsey: YES, ACE,
YOUR PHOTOGRAPHER.
684
00:35:08,397 --> 00:35:10,900
WELL, UH, YOU'VE BEEN
HOLDING OUT ON US.
685
00:35:10,983 --> 00:35:12,151
I'LL SPREAD THE WORD
TO THE CREW.
686
00:35:12,235 --> 00:35:14,362
WELL, COME ALONG, CAPTAIN,
687
00:35:14,445 --> 00:35:15,738
WE HAVE TO GET SOME ARRANGEMENTS
TAKEN CARE OF.
688
00:35:15,822 --> 00:35:17,824
CAPTAIN!
689
00:35:17,907 --> 00:35:21,536
ACE, I STARTED THIS.
I'LL FINISH IT.
690
00:35:23,955 --> 00:35:25,873
♪♪
691
00:35:53,985 --> 00:35:55,319
DOGGONE IT, FELLOWS.
692
00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:57,196
I FORGOT MY TAMBOURINE!
693
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:00,408
AND THE CHILDREN
JUST LOVE TO HEAR ME SING!
694
00:36:00,491 --> 00:36:01,868
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
695
00:36:01,951 --> 00:36:03,661
I'M GOING BACK UP.
696
00:36:03,744 --> 00:36:05,788
WE'LL BE LATE FOR THE PARTY.
LET'S GO DOWN!
697
00:36:05,872 --> 00:36:06,831
-LET'S...
-GOING UP!
698
00:36:12,128 --> 00:36:13,588
WE'RE STUCK!
699
00:36:13,671 --> 00:36:16,257
NO, I'M STUCK
WITH YOU TWO!
700
00:36:16,340 --> 00:36:19,468
YEAH, BUT WHERE ARE SANTA'S
HELPERS WHEN YOU NEED 'EM?
701
00:36:19,552 --> 00:36:21,429
-HELP!
-HELP!
702
00:36:21,512 --> 00:36:23,097
-HELP!
-HELP!
703
00:36:41,032 --> 00:36:44,243
WELL, I GUESS EVERYBODY'S
AT THE CHRISTMAS EVE PARTY.
704
00:36:44,327 --> 00:36:47,788
EXCEPT THREE DUM-DUMS
STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR.
705
00:36:47,872 --> 00:36:48,956
YEAH.
706
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,499
WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE SANTA CLAUSES,
707
00:36:50,583 --> 00:36:52,418
AND WE'RE ACTING
LIKE A BUNCH OF KIDS.
708
00:36:52,501 --> 00:36:53,920
THAT'S RIGHT.
709
00:36:54,003 --> 00:36:55,630
YOU KNOW SOMETHIN'?
710
00:36:55,713 --> 00:36:58,633
YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN SANTA CLAUS
BECAUSE YOU LOOK MORE LIKE HIM.
711
00:36:58,716 --> 00:37:00,968
YEAH.
712
00:37:01,052 --> 00:37:02,470
NO, YOU SHOULD HAVE
BEEN SANTA CLAUS.
713
00:37:02,553 --> 00:37:03,846
YOU GOT HIRED FIRST.
714
00:37:03,930 --> 00:37:05,264
RIGHT.
715
00:37:05,348 --> 00:37:06,974
THANKS, GUYS.
716
00:37:07,058 --> 00:37:09,310
BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE
BEEN SANTA CLAUS
717
00:37:09,393 --> 00:37:10,269
'CAUSE
YOU'RE THE OLDEST.
718
00:37:10,353 --> 00:37:12,939
-THAT'S TRUE.
-YOU KNOW SOMETHIN', FELLAS?
719
00:37:13,022 --> 00:37:16,150
WE'RE JUST FIGURING OUT
WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT --
720
00:37:16,233 --> 00:37:18,527
DOING SOMETHING NICE
FOR SOMEBODY ELSE
721
00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:22,365
AND NOT OURSELVES.
-MM.
722
00:37:24,575 --> 00:37:27,078
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT ♪
723
00:37:27,161 --> 00:37:28,704
♪ YOU BETTER NOT CRY ♪
724
00:37:28,788 --> 00:37:30,289
♪ YOU BETTER NOT POUT ♪
725
00:37:30,373 --> 00:37:31,958
♪ I'M TELLIN' YOU WHY ♪
726
00:37:32,041 --> 00:37:36,545
♪ SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN'
TO TOWN ♪
727
00:37:36,629 --> 00:37:38,255
IF HE EVER GETS
OUT OF THIS ELEVATOR.
728
00:37:40,633 --> 00:37:41,842
-HEY, SANTA CLAUS...
-WE'RE MOVING!
729
00:37:41,926 --> 00:37:43,427
-...IS COMIN' TO TOWN!
730
00:37:57,191 --> 00:37:59,026
BILLY?
731
00:37:59,110 --> 00:38:01,821
WHY DID I EVER LET YOU GUYS
TALK ME INTO THIS?
732
00:38:01,904 --> 00:38:03,155
OH, YOU ARE GOING
TO BE GREAT.
733
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:04,573
I KNOW YOU WILL!
-YEAH, YOU KNOW IT,
734
00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:06,158
AND I KNOW IT, BUT WHO'S GONNA
TELL THE AUDIENCE?
735
00:38:06,242 --> 00:38:08,035
YOU ARE WITH YOUR JOKES!
736
00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:10,204
YOU HAVE MADE
A MILLION PEOPLE LAUGH.
737
00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:11,706
THAT'S A GIFT!
738
00:38:11,789 --> 00:38:13,416
IT'S CHRISTMAS.
PEOPLE RETURN GIFTS.
739
00:38:13,499 --> 00:38:15,876
KIDS, I AM SCARED.
740
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,379
THAT DOESN'T MEAN
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE GOOD.
741
00:38:18,462 --> 00:38:19,880
THAT'S WHY WE SAVED YOU
TILL LAST.
742
00:38:19,964 --> 00:38:21,048
YOU'RE THE HEADLINER!
743
00:38:21,132 --> 00:38:23,217
YOU HAVE GOT
TO GET OUT ON THAT STAGE!
744
00:38:23,300 --> 00:38:25,011
WHY?
745
00:38:25,094 --> 00:38:28,264
BECAUSE WHERE ELSE ARE YOU
GONNA GO DRESSED LIKE THAT?
746
00:38:28,347 --> 00:38:30,099
NOW, YOU'RE TALKIN'.
747
00:38:30,182 --> 00:38:33,894
♪♪
748
00:38:33,978 --> 00:38:36,897
SO NOW
YOU KNOW THE WHOLE STORY.
749
00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:39,525
WE WERE EVEN GOING
TO HAVE A MOCK WEDDING.
750
00:38:39,608 --> 00:38:41,819
A MOCK WEDDING?
751
00:38:41,902 --> 00:38:43,487
I WAS DESPERATE.
752
00:38:43,571 --> 00:38:47,074
I'D DO ANYTHING TO GET YOU
OFF MY BACK ABOUT MARRIAGE,
753
00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:49,243
BUT YOU PUT ALL THIS PRESSURE
ON ME!
754
00:38:49,326 --> 00:38:50,911
PRESSURE?
755
00:38:50,995 --> 00:38:52,872
WHEN DID I EVER PUT PRESSURE
ON YOU?
756
00:38:52,955 --> 00:38:54,915
YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING
ABOUT ALL YOUR FRIENDS
757
00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:57,043
AND THEIR CHILDREN
BEING MARRIED.
758
00:38:57,126 --> 00:38:58,544
THAT IS NOT PRESSURE.
759
00:38:58,627 --> 00:39:00,087
THAT IS A FACT.
760
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:04,633
ALL RIGHT.
761
00:39:04,717 --> 00:39:07,094
NOW --
NOW, ABOUT THIS NOEL,
762
00:39:07,178 --> 00:39:08,804
I SAW YOU
KISSING HIM LAST NIGHT.
763
00:39:08,888 --> 00:39:14,393
OH, WELL,
NOEL AND I HIT IT OFF.
764
00:39:14,477 --> 00:39:16,479
BUT HE DOESN'T BELIEVE
IN MARRIAGE,
765
00:39:16,562 --> 00:39:21,233
SO YOU CAN FORGET NOEL.
766
00:39:21,317 --> 00:39:23,319
ONE OF THESE DAYS,
YOU'RE GONNA FALL IN LOVE.
767
00:39:23,402 --> 00:39:25,237
YOU'RE GONNA GET MARRIED.
I'M GONNA BE HAPPY.
768
00:39:25,321 --> 00:39:28,240
I'M GONNA SHOUT IT
FROM THE ROOFTOPS.
769
00:39:28,324 --> 00:39:32,620
BUT UNTIL THEN,
MARRY FOR YOURSELF, OKAY?
770
00:39:32,703 --> 00:39:34,413
DON'T MARRY FOR ME.
771
00:39:38,793 --> 00:39:41,545
I LOVE YOU.
772
00:39:41,629 --> 00:39:43,589
OF COURSE YOU DO.
773
00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:53,432
CONTINUED OUR GALA
CHRISTMAS EVE ENTERTAINMENT,
774
00:39:53,516 --> 00:39:56,852
WE HAVE WITH US TONIGHT ONE
OF THE BEST-LOVED TV COMICS
775
00:39:56,936 --> 00:39:58,229
OF OUR TIMES.
776
00:39:58,312 --> 00:40:01,315
LET'S ALL WELCOME BILLY BANKS!
777
00:40:01,398 --> 00:40:03,484
[APPLAUSE]
778
00:40:10,533 --> 00:40:12,368
GOOD EVENING,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
779
00:40:12,451 --> 00:40:17,456
IT'S A PLEASURE TO BE HERE,
A PLEASURE TO BE ANYWHERE.
780
00:40:17,540 --> 00:40:20,000
DID YA HEAR THE ONE ABOUT
THE, UH, TRAVELING SALESMAN
781
00:40:20,084 --> 00:40:21,252
WHOSE CAR BROKE DOWN?
782
00:40:21,335 --> 00:40:23,003
SO HE -- HE GOES TO THE FARMER.
783
00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:25,381
HE SAYS, "FARMER,
COULD I SPEND THE NIGHT?"
784
00:40:25,464 --> 00:40:27,675
FARMER SAYS, "SURE,
YOU CAN SPEND THE NIGHT.
785
00:40:27,758 --> 00:40:29,135
YOU'LL HAVE
TO SLEEP WITH MY SON."
786
00:40:29,218 --> 00:40:31,720
HE SAYS, "SLEEP WITH YOUR SON?
787
00:40:31,804 --> 00:40:33,514
I MUST BE IN THE WRONG JOKE!"
788
00:40:33,597 --> 00:40:35,724
[RIM SHOT]
789
00:40:35,808 --> 00:40:37,935
[LIGHT LAUGHTER]
790
00:40:40,813 --> 00:40:42,857
[TUNDRA BARKING
AND WHIMPERING]
791
00:40:56,954 --> 00:40:58,038
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS ONE.
792
00:40:58,122 --> 00:40:59,540
AH, YOU'RE GONNA...
YEAH, RIGHT.
793
00:40:59,623 --> 00:41:02,084
A GUY'S DRIVING AN OLD CHEVY,
794
00:41:02,168 --> 00:41:05,337
AND A COP STOPS HIM
AND SAYS, "HEY, YOU'RE DOIN' 75
795
00:41:05,421 --> 00:41:06,839
IN A 50-MILE ZONE."
796
00:41:06,922 --> 00:41:08,883
THE FELLOW SAYS, "OFFICER,
COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?
797
00:41:08,966 --> 00:41:12,595
COULD YOU WRITE DOWN 90?
I'M TRYING TO SELL THE CAR."
798
00:41:12,678 --> 00:41:16,557
YOU GET IT?
I'M TRYING TO SELL THE...
799
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,393
WHAT ARE YOU,
AN AUDIENCE OR A JURY?
800
00:41:19,476 --> 00:41:22,980
[LAUGHTER]
801
00:41:24,815 --> 00:41:26,984
OH-HO!
YOU LIKE THAT ONE, HUH?
802
00:41:30,404 --> 00:41:31,780
TWO GUYS MEET AT A PARTY.
803
00:41:31,864 --> 00:41:33,407
ONE GUYS SAYS TO THE OTHER GUY,
804
00:41:33,490 --> 00:41:35,701
"THAT IS THE UGLIEST WOMAN
I'VE EVER SEEN."
805
00:41:35,784 --> 00:41:37,870
THE GUY SAYS,
"THAT'S MY WIFE."
806
00:41:37,953 --> 00:41:39,747
HE SAYS, "I'M SORRY."
807
00:41:39,830 --> 00:41:42,082
THE OTHER GUY SAYS,
"YOU'RE SORRY?"
808
00:41:42,166 --> 00:41:44,543
[LAUGHTER]
809
00:41:56,013 --> 00:41:58,933
[APPLAUSE]
810
00:42:04,730 --> 00:42:06,273
YOU WANT MORE?
811
00:42:10,903 --> 00:42:13,447
OKAY, YOU'RE GONNA GET MORE.
812
00:42:13,530 --> 00:42:15,241
YOU'RE GONNA GET MORE.
813
00:42:15,324 --> 00:42:18,285
DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY
HAVE FIRE DOGS ON FIRE TRUCKS?
814
00:42:18,369 --> 00:42:21,288
SO THAT THE FIREMEN
CAN FIND THE HYDRANTS.
815
00:42:24,541 --> 00:42:27,670
IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW
WHEN TO GET OFF, YOU KNOW?
816
00:42:36,679 --> 00:42:37,805
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
YOU -- YOU --
817
00:42:37,888 --> 00:42:39,473
YOU'VE BEEN
A REALLY TERRIFIC AUDIENCE,
818
00:42:39,556 --> 00:42:42,851
AND I...THIS HAS BEEN THE MOST
WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS GIFT
819
00:42:42,935 --> 00:42:44,478
I COULD EVER HAVE.
820
00:42:44,561 --> 00:42:46,313
GOOD NIGHT.
THANK YOU.
821
00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:48,315
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
822
00:43:12,798 --> 00:43:14,675
WE ARE NOW LEAVING ACAPULCO,LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
823
00:43:14,758 --> 00:43:16,844
BUT OUR CRUISEIS FAR FROM OVER.
824
00:43:16,927 --> 00:43:19,179
WE EXPECT TO SEE YOU ALL ATOUR GALA CHRISTMAS DAY DINNER
825
00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:21,015
TOMORROW AFTERNOON.
826
00:43:32,234 --> 00:43:34,153
-ISN'T THIS BEAUTIFUL?
-MM-HMM.
827
00:43:35,904 --> 00:43:37,489
IN JUST A LITTLE WHILE,
828
00:43:37,573 --> 00:43:40,367
SANTA'S REINDEER WILL BE
STREAKING THROUGH THOSE CLOUDS.
829
00:43:40,451 --> 00:43:43,704
HE'S BRINGING LOTS OF TOYS
AND GOODIES ON HIS SLEIGH.
830
00:43:43,787 --> 00:43:45,873
HO-HO-HO,
AND WHAT DO YOU WANT
831
00:43:45,956 --> 00:43:47,916
FOR CHRISTMAS,
LITTLE GIRL?
832
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:53,213
HMM, A LITTLE HAPPINESS
FOR MY MOM AND MAYBE,
833
00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:56,216
IF THERE'S SOME LEFT OVER,
JUST A LITTLE FOR ME.
834
00:43:58,635 --> 00:44:01,513
I REALLY BLEW THIS TRIP.
835
00:44:01,597 --> 00:44:04,058
I'M GLAD IT'S ALMOST OVER.
836
00:44:04,141 --> 00:44:07,436
WELL, I'M SORRY
IT'S ALMOST OVER.
837
00:44:07,519 --> 00:44:09,396
CAREFUL.
838
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:12,733
YOU WOULDN'T WANT
TO SAY ANYTHING YOU REGRET.
839
00:44:12,816 --> 00:44:16,528
I MEAN, UH, FORGETFUL MOMENT
ON CHRISTMAS EVE.
840
00:44:16,612 --> 00:44:18,072
CAROL, I...
841
00:44:18,155 --> 00:44:22,618
HEY, WATCH IT,
MR. CONFIRMED BACHELOR.
842
00:44:22,701 --> 00:44:26,080
WELL, LOOK WHO'S TALKING,
MISS CONFIRMED BACHELORETTE.
843
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,753
HOW AM I EVER
GONNA MAKE MY MAMA HAPPY?
844
00:44:32,836 --> 00:44:34,380
WELL, WHO KNOWS?
845
00:44:34,463 --> 00:44:37,216
MAYBE SOMEDAY TWO
CONFIRMED BACHELORS
846
00:44:37,299 --> 00:44:39,593
WILL SUDDENLY REALIZE
THEY LOVE EACH OTHER.
847
00:44:43,347 --> 00:44:45,099
I THINK
THEY ALREADY HAVE.
848
00:44:58,028 --> 00:45:01,031
Merrill: IT'S MY PLEASURE
ON THIS BEAUTIFUL CHRISTMAS DAY
849
00:45:01,115 --> 00:45:02,783
TO WISH THE BOTH OF YOU
ALL THE HAPPINESS
850
00:45:02,866 --> 00:45:04,326
THAT LOVE CAN BRING.
851
00:45:04,410 --> 00:45:06,954
AND MAY IT REFLECT ON ALL OF US.
852
00:45:07,037 --> 00:45:09,623
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU
HUSBAND AND WIFE.
853
00:45:09,706 --> 00:45:12,251
♪♪
854
00:45:20,509 --> 00:45:23,137
-OH, CONGRATULATIONS.
-CONGRATULATIONS.
855
00:45:23,220 --> 00:45:24,138
Carol: THANK YOU!
856
00:45:32,688 --> 00:45:34,314
OH, CAROL!
857
00:45:34,398 --> 00:45:36,024
YOU DIDN'T HAVE
TO DO THIS FOR ME!
858
00:45:36,108 --> 00:45:39,862
BUT, MOTHER, I ACTUALLY
DIDN'T GET MARRIED FOR YOU.
859
00:45:39,945 --> 00:45:41,780
I GOT MARRIED FOR ME.
860
00:45:41,864 --> 00:45:42,656
OH, COME ON.
861
00:45:42,739 --> 00:45:46,994
THIS -- THIS --
THIS WAS A MOCK WEDDING.
862
00:45:47,077 --> 00:45:48,912
I'M REALLY MARRIED.
863
00:45:51,290 --> 00:45:53,667
YOU MARRIED A MAN
YOU JUST MET?
864
00:45:53,750 --> 00:45:55,669
THAT'S WHAT I DID.
865
00:45:55,752 --> 00:45:59,006
WHA-- WHA-- WHAT AM I
GONNA TELL MY FRIENDS?
866
00:45:59,089 --> 00:46:01,884
THAT YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER
WHO WAS ONCE SINGLE
867
00:46:01,967 --> 00:46:04,511
AND NOW ISN'T.
868
00:46:04,595 --> 00:46:07,848
MAYBE WE COULD SAY
YOU'RE ENGAGED...
869
00:46:07,931 --> 00:46:09,224
OH, MOTHER!
870
00:46:09,308 --> 00:46:12,519
AT LEAST FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
LEAVE IT TO ME.
871
00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:14,313
AT LEAST
WE'RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK.
872
00:46:15,731 --> 00:46:18,859
WHERE ARE THE SANTAS, GOPHER?
873
00:46:15,731 --> 00:46:18,859
THIS IS CHRISTMAS DAY.
874
00:46:18,942 --> 00:46:20,194
SIR, I'M SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW.
875
00:46:25,782 --> 00:46:29,536
Santa: HO-HO-HO.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
876
00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:32,664
HO-HO-HO.
877
00:46:32,748 --> 00:46:35,751
HO-HO-HO.
-MERRY CHRISTMAS!
878
00:46:35,834 --> 00:46:37,544
-HO-HO-HO.
-MERRY CHRISTMAS!
879
00:46:37,628 --> 00:46:39,671
WELL, YOU DID IT AGAIN.
880
00:46:39,755 --> 00:46:40,797
-THANK YOU.
-THANK YOU.
-THANK YOU.
881
00:46:41,798 --> 00:46:43,342
[BARKS]
882
00:46:50,641 --> 00:46:52,184
♪♪
883
00:47:03,111 --> 00:47:05,072
TURNED OUT TO BE
GREAT SANTA CLAUSES AFTER ALL.
884
00:47:05,155 --> 00:47:07,407
OUR PLEASURE.
885
00:47:07,491 --> 00:47:10,285
THE KIDS
LOVED ALL OF YOU.
886
00:47:10,369 --> 00:47:11,995
AND NOW YOU CAN GO BACK
TO BEING SOLO SANTAS.
887
00:47:12,079 --> 00:47:13,413
I'M AFRAID NOT, ISAAC.
888
00:47:13,497 --> 00:47:15,457
WE'VE DECIDED WE'RE GONNA
WORK TOGETHER FROM NOW ON.
889
00:47:15,541 --> 00:47:16,416
-YEP.
-RIGHT.
890
00:47:16,500 --> 00:47:18,835
BUT HOW ABOUT THREE RABBITS
FOR EASTER?
891
00:47:23,674 --> 00:47:26,593
OH, THERE THEY ARE.
892
00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:28,220
GOODBYE, BILLY.
-AH, GOODBYE, CAPTAIN.
893
00:47:28,303 --> 00:47:31,098
WE'RE SO GLAD WE COULD GET
YOU AND TUNDRA TOGETHER.
894
00:47:31,181 --> 00:47:32,099
TOGETHER FOREVER.
895
00:47:32,182 --> 00:47:34,393
OH, GOODBYE, TUNDRA.
896
00:47:34,476 --> 00:47:35,727
I'M GONNA MISS YOU.
897
00:47:35,811 --> 00:47:37,020
WELL, YOU WON'T MISS HER
FOR LONG.
898
00:47:37,104 --> 00:47:38,605
YES. WE'RE BOOKING TUNDRA
AND BILLY
899
00:47:38,689 --> 00:47:40,607
TO ENTERTAIN
ON MORE OF OUR CRUISES.
900
00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:42,734
UNH-UNH.
BILLY AND TUNDRA.
901
00:47:42,818 --> 00:47:46,280
EVEN THOUGH SHE'S TOP DOG,
I STILL GET TOP BILLING.
902
00:47:46,363 --> 00:47:47,322
COME ON.
903
00:48:17,686 --> 00:48:20,147
♪♪
63605
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