All language subtitles for The Love Boat S08E15 Santa Santa Santa Another Dog Gone Christmas Noels Christmas Carol 1080p PMTP WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-BTN (1)_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,501 --> 00:00:03,545 ♪♪ 2 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:14,431 ♪ LOVE ♪ 3 00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:18,268 ♪ EXCITING AND NEW ♪ 4 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:22,439 ♪ COME ABOARD ♪ 5 00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:26,401 ♪ WE'RE EXPECTING YOU ♪ 6 00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:30,613 ♪ AND LOVE ♪ 7 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:34,492 ♪ LIFE'S SWEETEST REWARD ♪ 8 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:38,455 ♪ LET IT FLOW ♪ 9 00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:42,667 ♪ IT FLOATS BACK TO YOU ♪ 10 00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:46,129 ♪ THE LOVE BOAT ♪ 11 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:51,176 ♪ SOON WILL BE MAKING ANOTHER RUN ♪ 12 00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:54,471 ♪ THE LOVE BOAT ♪ 13 00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:58,725 ♪ PROMISES SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE ♪ 14 00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:01,144 ♪ SET A COURSE FOR ADVENTURE ♪ 15 00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:07,275 ♪ YOUR MIND ON A NEW ROMANCE ♪ 16 00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:10,862 ♪ AND LOVE ♪ 17 00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:14,991 ♪ WON'T HURT ANYMORE ♪ 18 00:01:15,074 --> 00:01:18,870 ♪ IT'S AN OPEN SMILE ♪ 19 00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:23,291 ♪ ON A FRIENDLY SHORE ♪ 20 00:01:23,374 --> 00:01:27,962 ♪ IT'S LOVE ♪ 21 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:33,927 ♪ WELCOME ABOARD, IT'S L-O-O-O-OVE ♪ 22 00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:59,160 [CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING] 23 00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:20,014 -STAY THERE. -PERFECT. 24 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,015 -HEY, CAPTAIN! -HELLO! 25 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:22,016 -HELLO, SIR! -HELLO. 26 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,059 -HI. -HI, MERRILL. 27 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,394 -IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 28 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,187 CAPTAIN, EVERYTHING'S ALL SET 29 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:27,939 AS SOON AS YOU'RE READY. -THANK YOU. 30 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:35,238 I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THE PRESIDENT 31 00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,156 AT THE WHITE HOUSE WHEN I DO THIS. 32 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:48,877 THANKS VERY MUCH. YOU CAN JUST LEAVE THAT THERE. 33 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,755 OH, LOOK, VICKI. THERE'S BILLY BANKS. 34 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,549 USED TO BE KNOWN AS THE KING OF COMEDY. 35 00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:55,925 USED TO? 36 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,969 WELL, THAT WAS BEFORE YOUR TIME, HONEY. 37 00:02:58,052 --> 00:03:00,013 HE DOESN'T WORK TOO MUCH ANYMORE, I'M AFRAID. 38 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:03,766 HELLO, MR. BANKS! 39 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,143 I'M CAPTAIN MERRILL STUBING. 40 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:06,936 AND I'M VICKI STUBING. WELCOME ABOARD. 41 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,479 THANK YOU, MATES. 42 00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:10,565 IT'S A GREAT PLEASURE TO HAVE YOU WITH US. 43 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:12,442 YOU'RE NOT ENTERTAINING THE TROOPS THIS CHRISTMAS? 44 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:15,153 WELL, I, UH -- I LIKE TO GIVE THE NEW COMICS A BREAK, 45 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,864 SO I SAID TO BOB HOPE, "YOU DO IT THIS YEAR." 46 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,116 HEY, I GOT TO REMEMBER THAT LINE. 47 00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:21,451 GOT A LAUGH. 48 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,411 [DOG BARKING] 49 00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:24,579 TUNDRA, WAIT. 50 00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:27,457 -TUNDRA. -TUNDRA! 51 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:32,295 IS -- IS THAT A DOG OR A FUR COAT WITH A TONGUE? 52 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:36,215 OH, ISN'T EVEN LAUGHING. 53 00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,676 KIM, HOW IN THE WORLD DID SHE GET HERE? 54 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,303 WELL, SHE DIDN'T SAY, 55 00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:44,140 BUT THE PERSON WHO WAS WITH HER LEFT THIS NOTE. 56 00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:46,434 WONDER WHO IT'S FROM. 57 00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,479 IT'S FROM AUNT MARTHA AND UNCLE BILL. 58 00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,479 AH. 59 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,272 THEY'VE BEEN TRANSFERRED TO LONDON, 60 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,774 AND THEY CAN'T TAKE TUNDRA WITH THEM. 61 00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:54,484 THAT MEANS SHE'S ALL MINE AGAIN! 62 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:55,985 SHE CAN HARDLY WAIT TO SEE YOU! 63 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,236 -DAD. -VICKI. 64 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:01,658 DAD, I KNOW -- I KNOW I HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER HOME FOR HER, 65 00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:03,159 BUT MAYBE JUST... 66 00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:04,869 VICKI, IF YOU'RE ASKING IF TUNDRA 67 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,663 CAN COME WITH US ON THIS CRUISE, 68 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:07,830 THE ANSWER IS... 69 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,374 [WHIMPERING] 70 00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:10,667 ...YES. 71 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:17,131 THANKS! 72 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:19,133 I ALWAYS WANTED A WHITE CHRISTMAS. 73 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,304 HEY, DOC! 74 00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,723 I WANT YOU TO MEET AN OLD PAL OF MINE, NOEL KANE, 75 00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:26,766 THE WORLD'S MOST CONFIRMED BACHELOR. 76 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,810 -HOW DO YOU DO, DOCTOR? -HEY, NOEL. HOW ARE YOU? 77 00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:30,228 NOW, DOC'S BEEN MARRIED FOUR TIMES. 78 00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:31,187 OH, YOU CAN'T CATCH THIS DISEASE! 79 00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:34,482 IT HASN'T BEEN SCIENTIFICALLY RULED OUT. 80 00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:36,526 YOU KNOW, IN HIGH SCHOOL, NOEL WAS VOTED MOST LIKELY 81 00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,152 NEVER TO GET MARRIED. -LISTEN. 82 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:41,322 I -- I LOVE WOMEN IN BUNCHES, IN GROUPS, 83 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,825 FOR MINUTES, HOURS A NIGHT. 84 00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:47,245 BUT FOR YEARS, NO, THANK YOU. 85 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:49,497 GENTLEMEN, IF -- IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME... 86 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:56,671 OH, MY. THIS IS SOME CHRISTMAS PRESENT! 87 00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:58,548 OH, CAROL! THANK YOU! 88 00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,717 MM. YOU'RE WELCOME. 89 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,094 OH, WHEN THE LADIES OF MY BRIDGE CLUB FOUND OUT, 90 00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:06,180 THEY WERE ABSOLUTELY MAD WITH ENVY. 91 00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:06,180 GOOD! 92 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:07,890 WHEN I TOLD THEM YOU FINALLY FOUND A FELLOW 93 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,059 AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE SINGLE MUCH LONGER, OH... 94 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,144 MOTHER! 95 00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:12,937 WHY ARE WE JUST STANDING AROUND TALKING LIKE THIS? 96 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,731 WHY DON'T YOU FIND HIM? WHERE IS HE? 97 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,733 OKAY, YOU STAY HERE AND LOOK AROUND. 98 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,776 I WILL BE RIGHT BACK. 99 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,447 PARDON ME. -UH-HUH. 100 00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:25,074 I'M LOOKING FOR JOHN STRAUSS. HE WORKS HERE ON THE SHIP. 101 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,451 OH, I'M SORRY. 102 00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:27,410 HE LEFT THIS MORNING. 103 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,412 HE HAD TO GO HOME ON A MEDICAL EMERGENCY. 104 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:30,997 -OH, NO! -YEAH. 105 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,415 BUT IT'S NOT TERRIBLY, TERRIBLY SERIOUS. 106 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:33,875 HE'LL BE BACK ON THE NEXT CRUISE. 107 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:35,710 NEXT CRUISE IS TOO LATE! 108 00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:36,919 ARE YOU JOHN? 109 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,087 OH, I'M SORRY. I'M NOT. 110 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,465 OH, NO, MOTHER. HE'S NOT JOHN. 111 00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:43,426 WELL, WHERE IS JOHN THEN? 112 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,762 JOHN! 113 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,722 JOHN! 114 00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:49,307 I'LL EXPLAIN LATER. 115 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:52,977 MOTHER, THIS IS JOHN. 116 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:56,981 JOHN, THIS IS MY MOTHER. 117 00:05:57,065 --> 00:06:01,611 OH, I AM SO HAPPY TO MEET YOU! 118 00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,946 THIS JUST MAKES MY TRIP! 119 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,657 YOU ARE MY REAL CHRISTMAS PRESENT! 120 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,117 OH, MY! 121 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,827 OH, COME ON, MOM. LET'S GET SETTLED. 122 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:13,831 I'LL SEE YOU LATER, SWEETIE. 123 00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:15,917 HE IS GORGEOUS! 124 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,296 JOHN? 125 00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:22,131 SWEETHEART? 126 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,925 I DON'T GET IT. 127 00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:26,010 BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO. 128 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,303 MERRY CHRISTMAS, SWEETHEART! 129 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,806 YOU MUST HAVE BEEN A VERY GOOD BOY THIS YEAR. 130 00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:35,353 SO TELL ME. 131 00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:36,771 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OUR SHIP HERE, SANTA CLAUS? 132 00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,314 -WELL, IT'S PERFECTION! -MM-HMM. 133 00:06:38,397 --> 00:06:41,484 IF I CAN'T HO-HO-HO HERE, I CAN'T HO-HO-HO ANYWHERE! 134 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:42,693 I PICKED A WINNER! 135 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,112 JUDY! -YES. 136 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:46,280 SAY HI TO MR. MAX PHELPS. 137 00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:47,615 WELL, HELLO, MR. MAX PHELPS. 138 00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:48,825 LET ME GET YOUR KEY. SALLY? 139 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:50,201 OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 140 00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:51,869 I'M NOT A PASSENGER. I'M SANTA CLAUS. 141 00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:54,163 HE'S PERFECT, ISN'T HE? 142 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,289 HARDLY. 143 00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:56,499 THIS IS PATRICK TURNEY. 144 00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:58,042 I HIRED HIM AS OUR SANTA CLAUS. 145 00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,669 WHAT? 146 00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:01,504 I CAN HO-HO-HO 147 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,214 BETTER THAN HE-HE-HE. 148 00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:05,007 YOU'VE GOT A NICE RED NOSE THERE. 149 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:08,219 HOW'D YOU LIKE TO HAVE A BLACK EYE TO GO WITH IT, HUH? 150 00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:10,054 MOUTH LIKE A WHALE AND A BRAIN LIKE A SARDINE, 151 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,514 YOU KNOW? -GENTLEMEN! 152 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:13,307 GENTLEMEN! SIMMER DOWN! JUST SIMMER DOWN, PLEASE! 153 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,852 GOPHER. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 154 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,145 JUST TRYING TO DO SOMEBODY A FAVOR AROUND HERE, 155 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,813 AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENS. 156 00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:21,357 WHAT GOPHER MEANS TO SAY IS THAT HE BOOKED A SANTA CLAUS 157 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,775 FOR THIS CRUISE WHEN I HIRED ANOTHER. 158 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,902 NOW, WE HAVE TWO SANTAS. 159 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,529 -RIGHT. -WRONG. 160 00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:27,905 WE HAVE THREE. 161 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,032 AND MINE IS A SHAKESPEAREAN ACTOR. 162 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:33,703 TO HO-HO OR NOT TO HO-HO? 163 00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:35,413 THAT IS THE QUESTION! 164 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:36,706 ALL RIGHT! 165 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:38,541 YEAH! 166 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,544 [AIR HORN BLOWS] 167 00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:45,173 ♪♪ 168 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,906 WELL, IS EVERYBODY HAVING A GOOD TIME? 169 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,574 -HO. -HO. -HO. 170 00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,409 WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM, GENTLEMEN? 171 00:08:13,492 --> 00:08:15,745 THREE HOS AND ONLY ONE BED. 172 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,246 WELL, LISTEN, FELLAS. 173 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,415 WE ARE SORRY THERE ARE NO AVAILABLE CABINS, 174 00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:21,125 BUT WE WEREN'T EXPECTING THREE SANTAS. 175 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,794 BUT WE'LL HANDLE THE PROBLEM. WE'LL BRING IN A COUPLE OF COTS. 176 00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:24,962 Turney: WAIT A MINUTE. 177 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,924 BRING TWO COTS IN HERE, AND WE WON'T BE ABLE TO MOVE! 178 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:31,552 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. WHY DON'T YOU GO OUTSIDE 179 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:34,764 AND PRACTICE COMING DOWN THE SMOKE STACKS, SANTA? 180 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,599 WHY DON'T YOU GO PRACTICE BEING AN ANCHOR? 181 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,351 STOP IT. STOP IT. 182 00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:40,937 LOOK, FELLAS. WE'VE BEEN SILLY. 183 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,271 I'M SURE THE TWO OF YOU 184 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,190 WOULD BE COMFORTABLE ON THOSE COTS. 185 00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:45,983 WAIT A MINUTE. 186 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,945 HOW COME WE GET THE COTS AND YOU GET THE BED? 187 00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:51,572 -YEAH. -OKAY, I'LL TAKE THE BED, 188 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,825 AND YOU TAKE THE COTS. -HEY! 189 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,286 WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL OVER OUR EYES HERE, WOOL? 190 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,412 I'M GONNA... -ALL RIGHT. 191 00:08:58,496 --> 00:08:59,413 ALL RIGHT. NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, FELLAS. 192 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:00,915 WAIT A MINUTE. NOW, LET'S STOP ALL THE ARGUING. 193 00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:02,792 I'M SURE THAT WE'LL ALL MAKE GREAT SANTAS. 194 00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,126 NOW, LOOK. I'VE GOT A GREAT IDEA. 195 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,045 -OKAY. -NOW, I'LL BE SANTA THIS YEAR, 196 00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:07,588 AND YOU TWO DO IT THE NEXT TWO YEARS. 197 00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:09,298 OH, MAN. 198 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,217 [ALL ARGUING] 199 00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,316 WELL, I WONDER WHERE THAT GIRL IS. 200 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,443 YEAH, I WANT TO MET HER. SHE SOUNDS KIND OF GOOFY. 201 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:30,987 WHY? BECAUSE SHE KISSED ME 202 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,780 AND INTRODUCED ME TO HER MOTHER AS JOHN? 203 00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,991 HEY, WHAT'S IN A NAME, HUH? 204 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,159 LOOKS LIKE WE'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT 205 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,703 BECAUSE HERE SHE COMES. 206 00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:41,789 UH, ACE, UH, CAROL WAS LOOKING FOR YOU. 207 00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:43,666 AH, I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU, TOO. 208 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,001 UH, CAROL, THIS IS ACE. 209 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,669 -AND I'M NOEL. -HI. 210 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,671 -HI. -I'M SORRY. 211 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:51,382 I'M SURE YOU THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY. 212 00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:55,011 BUT I TOLD MY MOTHER WE WERE MEETING MY FIANCé, JOHN STRAUSS. 213 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,346 UH, JOHN HAD TO GO ON EMERGENCY LEAVE. 214 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,889 YOU'RE ENGAGED TO JOHN STRAUSS? 215 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:01,684 YOU'RE NOT ENGAGED. 216 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:04,186 WELL, NOT NOW NOR IN THE IMMEDIATE FUTURE. 217 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,980 SHE'S OBVIOUSLY A VERY BRIGHT GIRL. 218 00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,857 -YEAH. -BUT YOU KNOW HOW MOTHERS ARE, 219 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:10,026 ESPECIALLY MY MOTHER. 220 00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,528 THEY ALWAYS WANT TO SEE THEIR DAUGHTERS MARRIED. 221 00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:16,240 SO I ASKED JOHN IF HE WOULD POSE AS MY FIANCé. 222 00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:17,533 OH, I GET IT. 223 00:10:17,616 --> 00:10:19,827 I'M SUPPOSED TO PLAY SECOND FIDDLE. 224 00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:21,662 WELL, CAROL TOLD HER MOTHER 225 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:24,707 THAT SHE AND JOHN WERE GETTING MARRIED IN A YEAR. 226 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:27,835 AS LONG AS SHE'S GOT SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT, SHE'S HAPPY. 227 00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:31,881 SO WOULD YOU HELP ME OUT, PLEASE? 228 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,550 WHY NOT? IT'S CHRISTMAS. 229 00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:37,678 THANK YOU...JOHN. 230 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,388 I -- I THINK I NEED A KISS TOO, 231 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,599 OR, UH, I'LL TELL YOUR MOTHER. 232 00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,184 THAT'S BLACKMAIL. 233 00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:51,901 CAREFUL. 234 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:54,278 MY FIANCé GETS VERY JEALOUS. 235 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,363 YEAH. 236 00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,909 THAT WAS A GOOD TRICK WITH, UH, HERE... 237 00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:02,244 -SHE'S BEAUTIFUL. -YEAH? 238 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:03,746 NOW, I REMEMBER THE NIGHT SITTING IN FRONT 239 00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,539 OF THE TELEVISION SET, 240 00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:07,416 ROARING WITH LAUGHTER THANKS TO YOU. 241 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,086 YEAH, I -- I HAD A FEW GOOD NIGHTS, I GUESS. 242 00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:11,754 OH, MORE THAN FEW, I'M SURE. 243 00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:13,464 BUT WHO NEEDS THE HASSLE? 244 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:15,424 ARGUING WITH WRITERS, 245 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,302 FIGHTING WITH DIRECTORS, SCREAMING AT PRODUCERS. 246 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,930 -DON'T YOU MISS THE LAUGHS? -NO WAY. NO WAY. 247 00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:22,890 YEAH, BUT THERE'S A NEW GENERATION 248 00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,600 WHO'VE NEVER SEEN BILLY BANKS. 249 00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:25,935 I'M SURE THEY'D LOVE YOU. 250 00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:29,855 ME AND MY OLD JOKES? DON'T BET ON IT. 251 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,441 I BET YOU'RE WRONG. COME ON. 252 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,652 TRY A FEW JOKES JUST FOR ME. -WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 253 00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:35,528 COME ON. LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS. 254 00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,238 -HUH? WHAT? -HI, THIS IS BILLY BANKS, 255 00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:38,989 THE KING OF COMEDY. -HI. 256 00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:41,575 WELL, THE -- THE -- THE -- THE KING'S NOT VERY HAPPY TODAY. 257 00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:43,119 MY WIFE JUST HAD PLASTIC SURGERY. 258 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:46,247 I CUT UP HER CREDIT CARDS. [LAUGHS] 259 00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:47,706 HERE'S ANOTHER ONE. THE COP STOPS A DRUNK 260 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:50,167 DRIVING THE WRONG WAY ON A ONE-WAY STREET. 261 00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:52,586 COP SAYS, "DIDN'T YOU SEE THE ARROW?" 262 00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:53,963 THE DRUNK SAYS, "ARROW? 263 00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:56,090 I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE INDIANS!" 264 00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:03,055 SEE? NOBODY HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR ANYMORE. 265 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,099 NO. THEY WERE WONDERFUL JOKES, BILLY. 266 00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:05,683 -FORGET IT. -I'M SURE THEY LIKED YOU. 267 00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:07,435 FORGET IT. FORGET IT. 268 00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:11,647 I -- I'M HAPPY JUST THE WAY I AM, LIVING OFF MY RERUNS. 269 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,359 SEE YA, CAPPY. 270 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:20,114 ♪♪ 271 00:12:26,745 --> 00:12:28,497 DON'T WORRY, TUNDRA. 272 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,458 WE'LL FIND YOU A GOOD HOME. 273 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:31,542 WE'LL TAKE HER PICTURE 274 00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:33,544 AND PUT IT UP ON ALL THE BULLETIN BOARDS 275 00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:35,171 WITH A LIST OF HER ATTRIBUTES. 276 00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:38,299 OKAY. IS SHE PEDIGREE? 277 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:44,638 I SAID PEDIGREE, TUNDRA, NOT PEDICURED. 278 00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:48,976 UM, CAN WE SAY SHE'S A SHOW DOG? 279 00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,355 THE BEST. 280 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:57,193 OH, AND, UH, SHE'S ALSO A VERY GOOD NURSE. 281 00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,571 A NURSE? 282 00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:01,655 SURE. WATCH WHAT I TAUGHT HER. 283 00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:06,035 ACHOO! 284 00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:13,584 SHE'S ADORABLE! I WISH I COULD ADOPT HER. 285 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,549 KIM, MAKE A NOTE 286 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,927 THAT TUNDRA ALSO DOES LIGHT HOUSEKEEPING. 287 00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:27,348 [BARKING] 288 00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:30,893 [CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYS] 289 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:33,020 [CHILDREN TALKING EXCITEDLY] 290 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,361 I'LL MAKE YOU GUYS A DEAL. 291 00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:41,779 CHRISTMAS EVE, IF YOU LET THE KIDS SIT ON YOUR LAP, 292 00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:43,364 I'LL LET THE MOTHERS SIT ON MINE. 293 00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:45,574 THAT'S A NICE WAY FOR A SANTA CLAUS TO TALK. 294 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,076 ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! 295 00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:49,787 NO DICTION, NO PROJECTION! 296 00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,414 IF EITHER OF YOU PLAYED SANTA CLAUS, 297 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:55,209 CHRISTMAS WOULD CLOSE ON OPENING NIGHT! 298 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,424 ATTENTION, PASSENGERS. 299 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:05,469 DINNER IS NOW BEING SERVED IN THE CORAL DINING ROOM. 300 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,430 MY FRIEND ACE IS REAL LUCKY TO BE ENGAGED TO YOUR DAUGHTER. 301 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,432 THANK YOU. ACE? 302 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,268 JOHN, I -- I HATE THAT NAME, ACE. 303 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:13,435 ME TOO. 304 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,397 BUT YOU KNOW HOW THOSE NICKNAMES STICK. 305 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,773 WE CALL HIM ACE BECAUSE HE'S A WINNER. 306 00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:19,650 YOUR DAUGHTER IS GETTING A REAL WINNER. 307 00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:22,778 OH, WELL, MY DAUGHTER WOULDN'T SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS. 308 00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:24,822 IT'S WHY SHE WAITED SO LONG. 309 00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:26,156 MOTHER, I'M NOT THAT... 310 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,950 DO YOU LIKE LARGE FAMILIES, JOHN? 311 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:30,119 OH, SURE! ABSOLUTELY! 312 00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:31,829 HOW MANY BROTHERS AND SISTERS DO YOU HAVE? 313 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:37,751 OH, UH, YOU MEAN US. 314 00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,295 I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE A GRANDMOTHER! 315 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,171 IS IT OKAY IF I FINISH MY DINNER FIRST? 316 00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:43,132 -OH. -YOU KNOW, 317 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:44,967 IT IS FUNNY HOW LOVE TAKES YOU BY SURPRISE. 318 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,635 IT SEEMS LIKE, JUST YESTERDAY, 319 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,972 MARRIAGE WAS THE FARTHEST THING FROM MY MIND. 320 00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:52,474 YOU KNOW, JOHN'S REAL LUCKY, ALL RIGHT. 321 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:55,769 IF I HAD MET CAROL EARLIER, WE COULD BE TOGETHER. 322 00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,146 ISN'T IT AMAZING 323 00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:59,982 HOW THE TWO RIGHT PEOPLE SEEM TO FIND EACH OTHER 324 00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:02,651 WITH ALL OF THE OTHER PEOPLE IN THE WORLD? 325 00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,114 YEAH. 326 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:11,327 I LOVE CHRISTMAS. 327 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,662 IT'S TOO BAD IT ONLY COMES ONCE A YEAR. 328 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,540 WELL, I CAN'T WAIT FOR SANTA TO SHOW UP TOMORROW NIGHT. 329 00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:20,002 THAT'S WHEN I'LL REALLY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS. 330 00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,629 MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY! 331 00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:24,381 HO-HO-HO! 332 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:27,343 HO-HO-HO-HO! HO-HO-HO-HO! 333 00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,637 WELL, I'LL BE. IT'S SANTA CLAUS! 334 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,847 A LITTLE EARLY, BUT THAT'S HIM! 335 00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:33,974 WHAT'S HE DOING HERE TONIGHT? 336 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:36,685 BEATS THE REINDEER OUT OF ME, SIR. 337 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,520 MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE! 338 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:43,817 YEAH. 339 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:46,320 TWO SANTAS? 340 00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:52,868 CHRISTMAS GREETINGS TO ONE AND ALL! 341 00:15:52,951 --> 00:15:55,537 LOOKS LIKE A CLOSE-OUT SALE ON SANTAS. 342 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:59,249 THREE SANTAS. WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS? 343 00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,210 I HIRED THE ONE ON THE LEFT, SIR. 344 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:04,171 AND THE ONE ON THE RIGHT IS MINE. 345 00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:05,923 CAN YOU GUESS WHICH ONE'S MINE? 346 00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:10,886 WELL...MY THANKS TO THE THREE OF YOU. 347 00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:12,346 IT'S A MARVELOUS IDEA. 348 00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:14,348 SANTA CLAUSES AROUND THE CLOCK! 349 00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:16,850 THREE TIMES AS MUCH CHRISTMAS SPIRIT! 350 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:19,311 [CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYS] 351 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,250 WELL, GIRLS, ANY NEWS ON TUNDRA? 352 00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,210 NOT A BITE. 353 00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:45,462 NO ONE SEEMS TO WANT TO GIVE HER A HOME. 354 00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:46,755 BILLY BANKS. 355 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,424 I DON'T THINK ANYONE WANTS TO GIVE HIM A HOME 356 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:49,883 EITHER. -NO. 357 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,261 I MEAN, LET'S GET THE TWO OF THEM TOGETHER. 358 00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:55,264 TUNDRA NEEDS A HOME. BILLY NEEDS COMPANIONSHIP. 359 00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:58,434 OLDER PEOPLE GET A GREAT DEAL OF COMFORT FROM THEIR PETS. 360 00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,776 DO YOU THINK MR. BANKS WILL REALLY TAKE TUNDRA, CAPTAIN? 361 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,778 I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT'S CERTAINLY WORTH A TRY. 362 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,947 WELL, IT'S GONNA BE A TOUGH JOB TALKING HIM INTO IT, 363 00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,449 BUT I THINK WE CAN DO IT. 364 00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,617 KIM AND I HAVE AN IDEA. -AH. 365 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,786 I'VE NEVER PLAYED MATCHMAKER FOR A DOG BEFORE, 366 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,788 BUT I'LL CERTAINLY GIVE IT MY BEST SHOT. 367 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:23,000 WELL, THERE HE IS AT THE BAR. GOOD LUCK. 368 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,626 HOPE THIS WORKS. 369 00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:32,426 MR. BANKS. 370 00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,136 -HI. -HI. 371 00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,472 WE ARE GIVING FREE PALM READINGS TONIGHT. 372 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:38,766 LEARN YOUR FUTURE. -OH. 373 00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:41,310 I SEE YOU ARE GOING ON A LONG JOURNEY. 374 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:43,812 -I AM ON A LONG JOURNEY. -SEE? 375 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:47,107 OUR PREDICTIONS ARE COMING TRUE ALREADY. 376 00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:51,361 OH, AND YOU'RE GOING TO MEET A BEAUTIFUL CREATURE. 377 00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,530 KEEP TALKING. KEEP TALKING. 378 00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,783 OH, LOOK. SHE HAS BIG, BROWN EYES 379 00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,201 AND LONG, GORGEOUS HAIR. 380 00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:59,161 AND A GREAT BODY. 381 00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:01,997 NOW, THAT'S WHAT I CALL A CHRISTMAS PRESENT. 382 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,958 -DO YOU WANT TO MEET HER? -DO I? SURE! 383 00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,044 SUPER! WE'LL BRING HER BY YOUR CABIN TONIGHT. 384 00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:08,337 -TERRIFIC! -SEE YA LATER. 385 00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:10,088 SO LONG. 386 00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:14,718 WITH MY LUCK, SHE'LL PROBABLY BE A DOG. 387 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,973 THAT WAS PRETTY SMART OF ME, TELLING YOUR MOTHER THAT, 388 00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:24,144 AS BEST MAN, I SHOULD PRACTICE DANCING WITH THE BRIDE. 389 00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:27,981 NOT SMART, DEVIOUS. 390 00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:29,483 I SHOULD TALK. 391 00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:31,652 MISS DEVIOUS HERSELF. 392 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,532 I MEANT WHAT I SAID AT DINNER. 393 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:39,827 I WISH I HAD MET YOU BEFORE ACE DID. 394 00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:40,869 NO. 395 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:44,331 YOU'RE HOLDING ME TOO TIGHTLY. 396 00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:45,874 OH, I'M -- I'M SORRY. 397 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,543 MOTHER IS WATCHING. 398 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,545 ♪♪ 399 00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:56,385 RIGHT. RIGHT. 400 00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:03,141 NOEL, YOU'RE HOLDING ME TOO LOOSELY. 401 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:13,277 SO, UH, WHERE ARE YOU AND CAROL GONNA LIVE 402 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:16,029 WHEN YOU GET MARRIED? 403 00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:18,949 UH, WE HAVEN'T DECIDED YET. 404 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,910 WHERE DOES YOUR FRIEND LIVE? 405 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,120 NOEL? 406 00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:24,955 ON THE EAST COAST. 407 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,128 IF I WERE YOU, I'D STAY ON THE WEST COAST. 408 00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:44,933 DON'T WORRY. YOU'LL GET ALL YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS. 409 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,019 GET YOU A 600-POUND MOTHBALL. 410 00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:48,145 MERRY CHRISTMAS! GO AHEAD, SON! 411 00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:50,939 MERRY CHRISTMAS! 412 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,108 HI, SANTA. MY NAME IS MARK. 413 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:57,070 MARK! OH, WELL! OH, WHAT A NICE NAME, MARK! 414 00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:58,614 OH, HO-HO-HO-HO! 415 00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,782 -OH, HO-HO-HO! -OH, HO-HO-HO! 416 00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,784 WELL, I'M GLAD THE CAPTAIN 417 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,077 LIKED THE IDEA OF THE THREE SANTAS. 418 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,288 YEAH, WE WERE LUCKY. 419 00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:07,748 WELL, THEY MAKE THE LINE GO FASTER. 420 00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:10,125 THREE SANTAS, NO WAITING. PERFECT. 421 00:20:10,208 --> 00:20:11,793 AND HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY THIS YEAR? 422 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:12,794 YES. 423 00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:14,463 YOU HAVE? HO-HO-HO! 424 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:15,255 AND WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE SANTA 425 00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:16,965 TO BRING YOU FOR CHRISTMAS, HMM? 426 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,634 A SKATEBOARD, A BICYCLE... 427 00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,761 -MM-HMM. -...AND A VIDEO GAME. 428 00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:22,512 OH, THAT'S NOTHIN'. THAT'S NOTHIN'. 429 00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,806 THOSE ARE STOCKIN' STUFFERS. 430 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:25,724 HOW ABOUT A COMPUTER LIKE THE ONE 431 00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:29,478 IN DADDY'S OFFICE, ONE OF THEM BIG JOBS? 432 00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,146 OH. ONE OF THEM BIG JOBS. 433 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,814 I'M TALKING ABOUT A BIG JOB. 434 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,358 THAT'S BUBKES. 435 00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:35,984 THIS IS CHRISTMAS. THIS IS BIG TIME. 436 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,152 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR OWN CAR AND A CHAUFFEUR 437 00:20:37,235 --> 00:20:39,154 TO DRIVE YOU UNTIL YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO DRIVE YOURSELF? 438 00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:40,530 ISN'T THAT A GOOD ONE? -MARK, IT'S TIME FOR BED. 439 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,199 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT! 440 00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:43,784 LADY, PLEASE, GIVE ME FIVE MORE MINUTES WITH HIM. 441 00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,869 -TIME FOR BED. -LET HIM STAY WITH ME. 442 00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,497 MARK, MARK, MARK, UH, SANTA HAS TO GO TO BED. 443 00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,040 THINK BIG, MARK! 444 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:52,334 REMEMBER, IT'S ONLY ONE MORE DAY! 445 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:52,334 SANTA... 446 00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:55,963 YOU GUYS BETTER GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER, 447 00:20:56,046 --> 00:21:00,342 OR YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HEAR THE DREADED TWO WORDS. 448 00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:02,052 YOU'RE FIRED? 449 00:21:04,262 --> 00:21:06,306 SANTA OVERBOARD. 450 00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,693 ♪♪ 451 00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:21,196 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 452 00:21:21,279 --> 00:21:24,491 HERE I COME. 453 00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:26,243 HERE SHE IS. 454 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:36,211 THAT'S HER? 455 00:21:36,294 --> 00:21:40,382 WE PROMISED YOU LONG, GORGEOUS HAIR AND BIG, BROWN EYES. 456 00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:42,259 BYE. -BYE. 457 00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:45,512 WAIT, WAIT. 458 00:21:45,595 --> 00:21:46,722 [TUNDRA BARKS] 459 00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:57,899 I WAS RIGHT. YOU ARE A DOG. 460 00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,777 IS THAT SOME JOKE? 461 00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:03,321 WELL, WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH YOU? 462 00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,243 MM. THAT'S -- THAT'S NICE. 463 00:22:08,326 --> 00:22:09,453 CAN YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE? 464 00:22:09,536 --> 00:22:11,038 FETCH MY SLIPPERS? 465 00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:25,010 THOSE ARE SHOES, DUMMY. I SAID SLIPPERS. 466 00:22:25,093 --> 00:22:26,720 WHAT'S THE MATTER, YOU DON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE? 467 00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:31,808 HUH. YOU KNOW SOMETHIN'? 468 00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:35,562 YOU'RE A LOT SMARTER THAN MOST OF MY DATES. 469 00:22:35,645 --> 00:22:37,939 WELL, JOKE'S OVER. 470 00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:39,524 I'LL TAKE YOU BACK TO VICKI NOW. 471 00:22:43,361 --> 00:22:47,282 OH. OKAY, OKAY. 472 00:22:47,365 --> 00:22:49,534 HEY, I'LL TAKE YOU BACK IN THE MORNING. 473 00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:51,495 YOU CAN STAY THE NIGHT. 474 00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:05,759 -I WANT TO THANK YOU. -HMM? 475 00:23:05,842 --> 00:23:07,177 I -- I MEAN, FOR THE TROUBLE. 476 00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:10,305 OH, IT WAS MY PLEASURE. 477 00:23:10,388 --> 00:23:13,683 I THINK MY MOM LIKES THE IDEA OF YOU AS A SON-IN-LAW. 478 00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:16,436 WELL, IT -- IT'S BEEN FUN. 479 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,939 LISTEN. I'VE GOT A JOB TO DO. 480 00:23:19,022 --> 00:23:20,982 WILL YOU TAKE CARE OF MY GIRL? 481 00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:23,151 I DON'T KNOW. YOU'RE PRETTY TRUSTING. 482 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,861 AH, SHE'S IN GOOD HANDS. 483 00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:25,987 SEE YA. 484 00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:27,781 LATER. 485 00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:37,999 STAR LIGHT, STAR BRIGHT. 486 00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:39,793 HEAR THE WISH I WISH TONIGHT. 487 00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:55,016 WHAT DID YOU WISH? 488 00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:58,061 I MADE TWO WISHES. 489 00:23:58,145 --> 00:24:00,564 YOU ALREADY FULFILLED THE FIRST ONE. 490 00:24:00,647 --> 00:24:03,650 AND THE SECOND? 491 00:24:03,733 --> 00:24:05,277 MORE OF THE FIRST. 492 00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:36,349 SO HOW ARE THINGS COMING ALONG WITH YOUR THREE SANTAS? 493 00:24:36,433 --> 00:24:38,393 GREAT, SIR. THEY'RE JUST COMING ALONG GREAT. 494 00:24:38,476 --> 00:24:39,936 THE GUYS LIKE EACH OTHER. -GOOD. 495 00:24:40,020 --> 00:24:41,938 YOU KNOW, IT'S AN INTRIGUING IDEA. 496 00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:44,191 MAYBE SOME OTHER SHIPS IN THE LINE WILL PICK UP ON IT. 497 00:24:44,274 --> 00:24:46,067 -YEAH. -THAT'S VERY POSSIBLE, SIR. 498 00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:48,069 UH, DON'T FORGET, SIR, IT STARTED RIGHT HERE. 499 00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:50,322 YES. THANKS TO YOU THREE. 500 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,162 YOU CALL YOURSELF A SANTA CLAUS? 501 00:24:58,663 --> 00:25:01,208 Turney: YOU COULDN'T PLAY A TREE ON ARBOR DAY. 502 00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:21,561 [ALARM CLOCK RINGING] 503 00:25:21,645 --> 00:25:23,605 MM, MM, MM. 504 00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:26,274 WHAT'S -- WHAT'S GOING ON? OH, BOY. 505 00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:27,651 [RINGING STOPS] 506 00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:34,282 [BARKING] 507 00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:36,826 OKAY. OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 508 00:25:36,910 --> 00:25:40,121 I -- I GET THE MESSAGE, DOGGY. EASY. 509 00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:42,499 WHAT? OH, YOU WANT TO TAKE A WALK. 510 00:25:42,582 --> 00:25:44,125 I GET IT. OKAY, HERE YOU GO. 511 00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:46,670 HEY, UH, DON'T FORGET THE ROOM NUMBER. 512 00:25:52,008 --> 00:25:53,802 YEAH. THIS IS, UH, BILLY BANKS. YEAH. 513 00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:57,305 WOULD YOU PLEASE SEND ME BACON AND EGGS OVER MEDIUM, 514 00:25:57,389 --> 00:25:58,682 TOAST, COFFEE? 515 00:25:58,765 --> 00:25:59,933 RIGHT. THANK YOU. 516 00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:38,054 OH, BOY. THAT'S WHAT I CALL FAST SERVICE. 517 00:26:38,138 --> 00:26:39,681 YOU'RE BACK, HUH? 518 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:57,699 DUMMIES. I ORDERED BACON. 519 00:26:57,782 --> 00:26:59,034 THEY SEND ME HAM. 520 00:27:03,496 --> 00:27:07,917 WELL, I SURE WISH I HAD A DOG LIKE YOU WHEN I WAS A KID. 521 00:27:08,001 --> 00:27:09,711 I WISH I COULD KEEP YOU NOW, 522 00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:14,174 BUT I BARELY HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO FEED ME, LET ALONE YOU. 523 00:27:14,257 --> 00:27:16,676 MM-HMM. 524 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:18,219 YOU WANT TO HEAR A SECRET? 525 00:27:20,764 --> 00:27:23,266 I WON THIS TRIP ON A RAFFLE. 526 00:27:23,350 --> 00:27:26,227 MM-HMM. YEAH. 527 00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:28,897 BOY. YEAH. 528 00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:31,524 I -- I WISH YOU COULD'VE SEEN ME WHEN I WAS KING OF COMEDY. 529 00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:35,236 OH, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN SO PROUD OF ME. 530 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,031 YEAH. 531 00:27:38,114 --> 00:27:41,076 YOU WANT SOME HAM? 532 00:27:41,159 --> 00:27:42,869 OH, IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. 533 00:27:42,952 --> 00:27:46,247 THE -- THE -- THIS -- THE FOOD'S FREE ON THE CRUISE. 534 00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:47,248 I CAN GET MORE. 535 00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:48,917 HERE. 536 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,419 THERE YOU GO. 537 00:27:51,503 --> 00:27:53,380 HEY, TUND. 538 00:27:53,463 --> 00:27:56,174 YOU'RE ALL RIGHT, KIDDO. 539 00:27:56,257 --> 00:27:57,717 GIVE ME A KISS. 540 00:28:07,060 --> 00:28:08,937 THANKS TO YOUR FIGHTING LAST NIGHT, 541 00:28:09,020 --> 00:28:10,605 WE REALLY CAUGHT IT FROM THE CAPTAIN. 542 00:28:10,688 --> 00:28:12,399 YEAH, AND IF WE DIDN'T NEED A SANTA FOR TONIGHT, 543 00:28:12,482 --> 00:28:13,775 WE'D FIRE EACH OF YOU. 544 00:28:13,858 --> 00:28:15,443 I DON'T KNOW WHY WE HIRED YOU THREE. 545 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,737 WELL, THIS IS WHAT WE GET FOR DOING OUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING 546 00:28:17,821 --> 00:28:19,447 AT THE LAST MINUTE. 547 00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:20,657 NOW, LOOK. 548 00:28:20,740 --> 00:28:23,243 I WANT YOU GUYS TO JOLLY UP, 549 00:28:23,326 --> 00:28:25,120 OR YOU'RE GONNA BE SWIMMING BACK TO LOS ANGELES. 550 00:28:25,203 --> 00:28:27,789 THE CAPTAIN SAYS WE DON'T NEED THREE FIGHTING SANTAS, 551 00:28:27,872 --> 00:28:29,624 SO YOU EITHER GET ALONG WITH EACH OTHER, 552 00:28:29,707 --> 00:28:30,959 OR TWO OF YOU ARE GONE. 553 00:28:31,042 --> 00:28:32,585 YOU UNDERSTAND? DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? 554 00:28:32,669 --> 00:28:34,379 THANK YOU. 555 00:28:39,509 --> 00:28:40,677 THAT WAS NICE, GOPH. 556 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:42,804 JUST THE RIGHT BALANCE OF QUIET AUTHORITY AND LOUD YELLING. 557 00:28:42,887 --> 00:28:44,597 YEAH. 558 00:28:46,766 --> 00:28:48,309 GOPHER IS RIGHT. 559 00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:50,854 THEY DON'T NEED THREE SANTA CLAUSES. 560 00:28:50,937 --> 00:28:52,939 COME ON. LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH 561 00:28:53,022 --> 00:28:54,357 ONCE AND FOR ALL. 562 00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:57,986 WHOEVER GETS THE HIGH CARD GETS TO PLAY SANTA CLAUS 563 00:28:58,069 --> 00:28:59,988 AND KEEPS ALL THE PAYCHECKS. OKAY? 564 00:29:00,071 --> 00:29:01,614 ONE MOMENT, PLEASE. 565 00:29:04,951 --> 00:29:07,328 HELLO. I'D LIKE TO SEND A CABLEGRAM, PLEASE, 566 00:29:07,412 --> 00:29:09,706 TO MRS. MARY PHELPS, GENERAL DELIVERY, 567 00:29:09,789 --> 00:29:11,458 WICHITA, KANSAS. 568 00:29:11,541 --> 00:29:14,794 DEAR MOM, MAY NOT BE ABLE TO PAY FOR YOUR OPERATION. 569 00:29:14,878 --> 00:29:19,340 TRY TO HANG ON. LOVE, MAX. 570 00:29:19,424 --> 00:29:20,467 OKAY. I'M READY. 571 00:29:20,550 --> 00:29:22,802 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 572 00:29:22,886 --> 00:29:24,929 -LAUNDRY? -RIGHT OVER HERE, SIR. 573 00:29:26,764 --> 00:29:29,350 I WON'T NEED IT TILL WE GET BACK TO L.A. 574 00:29:29,434 --> 00:29:31,394 HOLD ON JUST A MINUTE. 575 00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:32,979 LET ME SEE THIS. 576 00:29:36,065 --> 00:29:38,359 HE WAS GETTIN' RID OF OUR SANTA CLAUS OUTFITS. 577 00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:41,029 HOW LOW CAN A PERSON GET? 578 00:29:42,739 --> 00:29:45,992 OH, BY THE WAY, YOUR TELEPHONE SHOULD BE FIXED IN AN HOUR. 579 00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:52,707 POOR MOM. 580 00:29:52,790 --> 00:29:55,376 YOU PHONE PHONY. 581 00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:57,754 I'VE HAD IT WITH BOTH OF YOU. 582 00:29:57,837 --> 00:30:00,381 I'VE NEVER DEALT WITH SUCH DISHONESTY 583 00:30:00,465 --> 00:30:02,717 IN MY WHOLE LIFE. 584 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,887 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. 585 00:30:05,970 --> 00:30:07,847 I KNEW WHEN I FIRST MET YOU 586 00:30:07,931 --> 00:30:09,766 THAT YOU WEREN'T DEALING WITH A FULL DECK. 587 00:30:09,849 --> 00:30:12,268 WHAT IS THIS? -AN ACE. 588 00:30:12,352 --> 00:30:14,103 AIN'T THAT A KILLER? 589 00:30:16,272 --> 00:30:18,566 ♪♪ 590 00:30:41,130 --> 00:30:43,883 SO, WHILE SANTA WAS FEEDING HIS REINDEER 591 00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:47,804 AND FILLING HIS SACK LAST NIGHT, WHAT DID YOU TWO DO? 592 00:30:50,139 --> 00:30:53,142 OH, WE DID A LITTLE PRE-CHRISTMAS GIFT GIVING. 593 00:30:53,226 --> 00:30:55,478 A FEW TRIFLES, NOTHING MUCH. 594 00:30:55,562 --> 00:30:56,896 UH-HUH. 595 00:30:56,980 --> 00:30:58,898 YOU KNOW, IF ONLY I WERE THE SERIOUS TYPE. 596 00:30:58,982 --> 00:30:59,941 BUT OF COURSE, I'M NOT. 597 00:31:00,024 --> 00:31:01,943 OH, NOR AM I. 598 00:31:02,026 --> 00:31:04,195 WHAT MAKES HER SO UNBELIEVABLY ATTRACTIVE TO ME 599 00:31:04,279 --> 00:31:06,531 IS HER ABSOLUTE UNAVAILABILITY. 600 00:31:06,614 --> 00:31:08,491 NO STRINGS ATTACHED. 601 00:31:09,993 --> 00:31:12,579 [CLEARS THROAT] 602 00:31:12,662 --> 00:31:15,081 EXCEPT TO YOU, JOHN. 603 00:31:17,375 --> 00:31:19,002 GOOD MORNING, MOTHER KELSEY. 604 00:31:19,085 --> 00:31:22,130 -GOOD MORNING. -GOOD MORNING. 605 00:31:22,213 --> 00:31:24,299 GOOD MORNING, MOTHER. DID YOU HAVE A GOOD NIGHT? 606 00:31:24,382 --> 00:31:26,634 A FEW UNNERVING MOMENTS. 607 00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:28,803 MAYBE YOU'RE NOT USED TO THE SHIP. 608 00:31:28,886 --> 00:31:30,013 I'M NOT USED TO THE SHIP. 609 00:31:30,096 --> 00:31:32,265 HAVE YOU SEEN THE FABULOUS BUFFET? 610 00:31:32,348 --> 00:31:33,808 I'M NOT VERY HUNGRY. 611 00:31:33,891 --> 00:31:36,144 LET'S GO FOR A WALK AND LEAVE THESE TWO LOVEBIRDS ALONE. 612 00:31:36,227 --> 00:31:38,354 AH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M VERY BUSY THIS MORNING, 613 00:31:38,438 --> 00:31:40,189 SO I SIGNED CAROL AND NOEL UP 614 00:31:40,273 --> 00:31:41,316 FOR THE SHUFFLEBOARD TOURNAMENT. 615 00:31:41,399 --> 00:31:42,817 IN FACT, YOU'D BETTER GET GOING. 616 00:31:42,900 --> 00:31:43,818 -OH. OH, RIGHT. -SHUFFLEBOARD! 617 00:31:43,901 --> 00:31:45,570 COME ON, NOEL. 618 00:31:45,653 --> 00:31:47,864 SEE YA LATER, MOM. -CAROL, WE HAVE TO TALK. 619 00:31:47,947 --> 00:31:49,824 OH -- OH, SURE. LATER. 620 00:31:49,907 --> 00:31:50,700 SWEETHEART... -YEAH? 621 00:31:50,783 --> 00:31:52,452 TAKE CARE OF MY MOTHER. 622 00:31:52,535 --> 00:31:55,204 AND YOU TAKE CARE OF MY SWEETHEART. 623 00:32:00,585 --> 00:32:01,461 DO YOU WEAR GLASSES? 624 00:32:01,544 --> 00:32:03,004 NO. WHY? 625 00:32:03,087 --> 00:32:04,964 I DON'T THINK YOU SEE SO GOOD. 626 00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:09,093 ♪♪ 627 00:32:16,643 --> 00:32:18,770 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 628 00:32:21,939 --> 00:32:24,192 -HERE'S YOUR DOG. BYE. -OH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! 629 00:32:24,275 --> 00:32:26,235 I -- I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU'D WANT TO KEEP HER. 630 00:32:26,319 --> 00:32:27,862 Billy: I DID KEEP HER ONE NIGHT. 631 00:32:27,945 --> 00:32:29,030 NOW SHE'S YOURS AGAIN. BYE. 632 00:32:29,113 --> 00:32:32,700 WAIT! WE THOUGHT THAT MAYBE 633 00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:33,910 YOU MIGHT WANT TO KEEP HER FOR GOOD. 634 00:32:33,993 --> 00:32:36,204 -YEAH. -FOR GOOD? 635 00:32:36,287 --> 00:32:38,456 HEY, WHO NEEDS THE RESPONSIBILITY? 636 00:32:38,539 --> 00:32:40,249 I MEAN, YOU'VE GOT A DOG, TAKES UP ALL YOUR TIME. 637 00:32:40,333 --> 00:32:42,168 YOU WALK IT. YOU'VE GOT TO FEED IT. 638 00:32:42,251 --> 00:32:43,211 I HAVEN'T GOT TIME FOR THAT KIND OF STUFF. 639 00:32:43,294 --> 00:32:43,878 I'M A BUSY MAN. 640 00:32:43,961 --> 00:32:46,589 BUT WE -- WE KIND OF HOPED. 641 00:32:46,673 --> 00:32:48,383 OH, I GET IT. 642 00:32:48,466 --> 00:32:50,718 YOU HOPED THAT I'D GET HOOKED ON THE DOG 643 00:32:50,802 --> 00:32:53,221 AND WANT TO KEEP IT. HUH? 644 00:32:53,304 --> 00:32:56,140 NO WAY. BYE. 645 00:33:01,312 --> 00:33:03,898 DON'T WORRY, TUNDRA. 646 00:33:03,981 --> 00:33:05,692 WE'LL FIND YOU A NICE HOME. 647 00:33:05,775 --> 00:33:07,527 POOR TUNDRA. 648 00:33:14,951 --> 00:33:16,619 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 649 00:33:16,703 --> 00:33:19,580 WE ARE NOW ENTERING THE FABULOUS PORT OF ACAPULCO. 650 00:33:19,664 --> 00:33:21,290 WE WILL BE HERE THROUGHOUT THE DAY AND EVENING. 651 00:33:21,374 --> 00:33:23,501 WHETHER YOU ENJOY DINING AND DANCING ONBOARD 652 00:33:23,584 --> 00:33:26,170 OR TAKING IN ONE OF THE CITY'S MANY NIGHT SPOTS, 653 00:33:26,254 --> 00:33:28,089 WE'RE SURE THIS WILL BE A MEMORABLE DAY. 654 00:33:43,312 --> 00:33:45,106 ALL RIGHT. HAVE WE FORGOTTEN ANYONE? 655 00:33:45,189 --> 00:33:47,442 -WELL, THIS ONE'S FOR ISAAC. -ISAAC? 656 00:33:47,525 --> 00:33:51,237 -AND THIS LAST ONE'S FOR GOPHER. -GOPHER! 657 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,614 -AH, WHAT ABOUT TUNDRA? -OH, I KNOW! 658 00:33:53,698 --> 00:33:57,034 WE COULD HAVE THE CHEF GIFT-WRAP A BIG BONE FOR HER. 659 00:33:57,118 --> 00:33:58,494 WELL, THEN THAT'S EVERYBODY. 660 00:33:58,578 --> 00:33:59,996 BILLY BANKS? 661 00:34:00,079 --> 00:34:02,123 OH, NO. WE CAN'T FORGET ABOUT BILLY! 662 00:34:02,206 --> 00:34:03,458 WHAT DO YOU THINK HE'D LIKE? 663 00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:05,501 -OH, A MONEY CLIP... -SIR. 664 00:34:05,585 --> 00:34:06,919 -SOMETHING LIKE THAT. -MM-HMM? 665 00:34:07,003 --> 00:34:08,212 I BET HE'D LOVE A CHANCE 666 00:34:08,296 --> 00:34:09,630 TO PREFORM AT OUR CHRISTMAS SHOW. 667 00:34:09,714 --> 00:34:11,424 THAT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA. 668 00:34:11,507 --> 00:34:14,802 VICKI, WHY DON'T YOU AND KIM BREAK THE GOOD NEWS TO HIM? 669 00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:16,471 I'M GLAD I THOUGHT OF THAT. 670 00:34:39,494 --> 00:34:41,204 YEAH, I HAVEN'T SEEN MUCH OF YOUR MOTHER TODAY. 671 00:34:41,287 --> 00:34:42,830 YEAH, WE ONLY HAVE ONE MORE DAY TO STALL HER OFF. 672 00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:45,458 OH, WITH MY MOTHER, A LOT CAN HAPPEN IN ONE DAY. 673 00:34:45,541 --> 00:34:46,626 [CHUCKLES] 674 00:34:48,002 --> 00:34:49,128 -THERE YOU GO, DARLING. -THANK YOU. 675 00:34:49,212 --> 00:34:50,213 THERE YOU ARE. 676 00:34:50,296 --> 00:34:53,174 -OH, THERE THEY ARE! -AH. 677 00:34:53,257 --> 00:34:56,010 SWEETHEARTS, I HAVE THE MOST WONDERFUL NEWS FOR YOU! 678 00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:57,845 YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT A WHOLE YEAR TO GET MARRIED! 679 00:34:57,929 --> 00:34:59,889 THE CAPTAIN SAYS YOU CAN GET MARRIED TOMORROW. 680 00:34:59,972 --> 00:35:01,015 HE'LL DO IT HIMSELF! 681 00:35:01,098 --> 00:35:03,017 -CONGRATULATIONS. -NO. 682 00:35:03,100 --> 00:35:05,353 IT'S -- IT'S - IT'S ACE. -ACE. 683 00:35:05,436 --> 00:35:08,314 Mother Kelsey: YES, ACE, YOUR PHOTOGRAPHER. 684 00:35:08,397 --> 00:35:10,900 WELL, UH, YOU'VE BEEN HOLDING OUT ON US. 685 00:35:10,983 --> 00:35:12,151 I'LL SPREAD THE WORD TO THE CREW. 686 00:35:12,235 --> 00:35:14,362 WELL, COME ALONG, CAPTAIN, 687 00:35:14,445 --> 00:35:15,738 WE HAVE TO GET SOME ARRANGEMENTS TAKEN CARE OF. 688 00:35:15,822 --> 00:35:17,824 CAPTAIN! 689 00:35:17,907 --> 00:35:21,536 ACE, I STARTED THIS. I'LL FINISH IT. 690 00:35:23,955 --> 00:35:25,873 ♪♪ 691 00:35:53,985 --> 00:35:55,319 DOGGONE IT, FELLOWS. 692 00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:57,196 I FORGOT MY TAMBOURINE! 693 00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:00,408 AND THE CHILDREN JUST LOVE TO HEAR ME SING! 694 00:36:00,491 --> 00:36:01,868 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 695 00:36:01,951 --> 00:36:03,661 I'M GOING BACK UP. 696 00:36:03,744 --> 00:36:05,788 WE'LL BE LATE FOR THE PARTY. LET'S GO DOWN! 697 00:36:05,872 --> 00:36:06,831 -LET'S... -GOING UP! 698 00:36:12,128 --> 00:36:13,588 WE'RE STUCK! 699 00:36:13,671 --> 00:36:16,257 NO, I'M STUCK WITH YOU TWO! 700 00:36:16,340 --> 00:36:19,468 YEAH, BUT WHERE ARE SANTA'S HELPERS WHEN YOU NEED 'EM? 701 00:36:19,552 --> 00:36:21,429 -HELP! -HELP! 702 00:36:21,512 --> 00:36:23,097 -HELP! -HELP! 703 00:36:41,032 --> 00:36:44,243 WELL, I GUESS EVERYBODY'S AT THE CHRISTMAS EVE PARTY. 704 00:36:44,327 --> 00:36:47,788 EXCEPT THREE DUM-DUMS STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR. 705 00:36:47,872 --> 00:36:48,956 YEAH. 706 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,499 WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SANTA CLAUSES, 707 00:36:50,583 --> 00:36:52,418 AND WE'RE ACTING LIKE A BUNCH OF KIDS. 708 00:36:52,501 --> 00:36:53,920 THAT'S RIGHT. 709 00:36:54,003 --> 00:36:55,630 YOU KNOW SOMETHIN'? 710 00:36:55,713 --> 00:36:58,633 YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN SANTA CLAUS BECAUSE YOU LOOK MORE LIKE HIM. 711 00:36:58,716 --> 00:37:00,968 YEAH. 712 00:37:01,052 --> 00:37:02,470 NO, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN SANTA CLAUS. 713 00:37:02,553 --> 00:37:03,846 YOU GOT HIRED FIRST. 714 00:37:03,930 --> 00:37:05,264 RIGHT. 715 00:37:05,348 --> 00:37:06,974 THANKS, GUYS. 716 00:37:07,058 --> 00:37:09,310 BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN SANTA CLAUS 717 00:37:09,393 --> 00:37:10,269 'CAUSE YOU'RE THE OLDEST. 718 00:37:10,353 --> 00:37:12,939 -THAT'S TRUE. -YOU KNOW SOMETHIN', FELLAS? 719 00:37:13,022 --> 00:37:16,150 WE'RE JUST FIGURING OUT WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT -- 720 00:37:16,233 --> 00:37:18,527 DOING SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEBODY ELSE 721 00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:22,365 AND NOT OURSELVES. -MM. 722 00:37:24,575 --> 00:37:27,078 ♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT ♪ 723 00:37:27,161 --> 00:37:28,704 ♪ YOU BETTER NOT CRY ♪ 724 00:37:28,788 --> 00:37:30,289 ♪ YOU BETTER NOT POUT ♪ 725 00:37:30,373 --> 00:37:31,958 ♪ I'M TELLIN' YOU WHY ♪ 726 00:37:32,041 --> 00:37:36,545 ♪ SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN' TO TOWN ♪ 727 00:37:36,629 --> 00:37:38,255 IF HE EVER GETS OUT OF THIS ELEVATOR. 728 00:37:40,633 --> 00:37:41,842 -HEY, SANTA CLAUS... -WE'RE MOVING! 729 00:37:41,926 --> 00:37:43,427 -...IS COMIN' TO TOWN! 730 00:37:57,191 --> 00:37:59,026 BILLY? 731 00:37:59,110 --> 00:38:01,821 WHY DID I EVER LET YOU GUYS TALK ME INTO THIS? 732 00:38:01,904 --> 00:38:03,155 OH, YOU ARE GOING TO BE GREAT. 733 00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:04,573 I KNOW YOU WILL! -YEAH, YOU KNOW IT, 734 00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:06,158 AND I KNOW IT, BUT WHO'S GONNA TELL THE AUDIENCE? 735 00:38:06,242 --> 00:38:08,035 YOU ARE WITH YOUR JOKES! 736 00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:10,204 YOU HAVE MADE A MILLION PEOPLE LAUGH. 737 00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:11,706 THAT'S A GIFT! 738 00:38:11,789 --> 00:38:13,416 IT'S CHRISTMAS. PEOPLE RETURN GIFTS. 739 00:38:13,499 --> 00:38:15,876 KIDS, I AM SCARED. 740 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,379 THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE GOOD. 741 00:38:18,462 --> 00:38:19,880 THAT'S WHY WE SAVED YOU TILL LAST. 742 00:38:19,964 --> 00:38:21,048 YOU'RE THE HEADLINER! 743 00:38:21,132 --> 00:38:23,217 YOU HAVE GOT TO GET OUT ON THAT STAGE! 744 00:38:23,300 --> 00:38:25,011 WHY? 745 00:38:25,094 --> 00:38:28,264 BECAUSE WHERE ELSE ARE YOU GONNA GO DRESSED LIKE THAT? 746 00:38:28,347 --> 00:38:30,099 NOW, YOU'RE TALKIN'. 747 00:38:30,182 --> 00:38:33,894 ♪♪ 748 00:38:33,978 --> 00:38:36,897 SO NOW YOU KNOW THE WHOLE STORY. 749 00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:39,525 WE WERE EVEN GOING TO HAVE A MOCK WEDDING. 750 00:38:39,608 --> 00:38:41,819 A MOCK WEDDING? 751 00:38:41,902 --> 00:38:43,487 I WAS DESPERATE. 752 00:38:43,571 --> 00:38:47,074 I'D DO ANYTHING TO GET YOU OFF MY BACK ABOUT MARRIAGE, 753 00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:49,243 BUT YOU PUT ALL THIS PRESSURE ON ME! 754 00:38:49,326 --> 00:38:50,911 PRESSURE? 755 00:38:50,995 --> 00:38:52,872 WHEN DID I EVER PUT PRESSURE ON YOU? 756 00:38:52,955 --> 00:38:54,915 YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT ALL YOUR FRIENDS 757 00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:57,043 AND THEIR CHILDREN BEING MARRIED. 758 00:38:57,126 --> 00:38:58,544 THAT IS NOT PRESSURE. 759 00:38:58,627 --> 00:39:00,087 THAT IS A FACT. 760 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:04,633 ALL RIGHT. 761 00:39:04,717 --> 00:39:07,094 NOW -- NOW, ABOUT THIS NOEL, 762 00:39:07,178 --> 00:39:08,804 I SAW YOU KISSING HIM LAST NIGHT. 763 00:39:08,888 --> 00:39:14,393 OH, WELL, NOEL AND I HIT IT OFF. 764 00:39:14,477 --> 00:39:16,479 BUT HE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE, 765 00:39:16,562 --> 00:39:21,233 SO YOU CAN FORGET NOEL. 766 00:39:21,317 --> 00:39:23,319 ONE OF THESE DAYS, YOU'RE GONNA FALL IN LOVE. 767 00:39:23,402 --> 00:39:25,237 YOU'RE GONNA GET MARRIED. I'M GONNA BE HAPPY. 768 00:39:25,321 --> 00:39:28,240 I'M GONNA SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS. 769 00:39:28,324 --> 00:39:32,620 BUT UNTIL THEN, MARRY FOR YOURSELF, OKAY? 770 00:39:32,703 --> 00:39:34,413 DON'T MARRY FOR ME. 771 00:39:38,793 --> 00:39:41,545 I LOVE YOU. 772 00:39:41,629 --> 00:39:43,589 OF COURSE YOU DO. 773 00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:53,432 CONTINUED OUR GALA CHRISTMAS EVE ENTERTAINMENT, 774 00:39:53,516 --> 00:39:56,852 WE HAVE WITH US TONIGHT ONE OF THE BEST-LOVED TV COMICS 775 00:39:56,936 --> 00:39:58,229 OF OUR TIMES. 776 00:39:58,312 --> 00:40:01,315 LET'S ALL WELCOME BILLY BANKS! 777 00:40:01,398 --> 00:40:03,484 [APPLAUSE] 778 00:40:10,533 --> 00:40:12,368 GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 779 00:40:12,451 --> 00:40:17,456 IT'S A PLEASURE TO BE HERE, A PLEASURE TO BE ANYWHERE. 780 00:40:17,540 --> 00:40:20,000 DID YA HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE, UH, TRAVELING SALESMAN 781 00:40:20,084 --> 00:40:21,252 WHOSE CAR BROKE DOWN? 782 00:40:21,335 --> 00:40:23,003 SO HE -- HE GOES TO THE FARMER. 783 00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:25,381 HE SAYS, "FARMER, COULD I SPEND THE NIGHT?" 784 00:40:25,464 --> 00:40:27,675 FARMER SAYS, "SURE, YOU CAN SPEND THE NIGHT. 785 00:40:27,758 --> 00:40:29,135 YOU'LL HAVE TO SLEEP WITH MY SON." 786 00:40:29,218 --> 00:40:31,720 HE SAYS, "SLEEP WITH YOUR SON? 787 00:40:31,804 --> 00:40:33,514 I MUST BE IN THE WRONG JOKE!" 788 00:40:33,597 --> 00:40:35,724 [RIM SHOT] 789 00:40:35,808 --> 00:40:37,935 [LIGHT LAUGHTER] 790 00:40:40,813 --> 00:40:42,857 [TUNDRA BARKING AND WHIMPERING] 791 00:40:56,954 --> 00:40:58,038 YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS ONE. 792 00:40:58,122 --> 00:40:59,540 AH, YOU'RE GONNA... YEAH, RIGHT. 793 00:40:59,623 --> 00:41:02,084 A GUY'S DRIVING AN OLD CHEVY, 794 00:41:02,168 --> 00:41:05,337 AND A COP STOPS HIM AND SAYS, "HEY, YOU'RE DOIN' 75 795 00:41:05,421 --> 00:41:06,839 IN A 50-MILE ZONE." 796 00:41:06,922 --> 00:41:08,883 THE FELLOW SAYS, "OFFICER, COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 797 00:41:08,966 --> 00:41:12,595 COULD YOU WRITE DOWN 90? I'M TRYING TO SELL THE CAR." 798 00:41:12,678 --> 00:41:16,557 YOU GET IT? I'M TRYING TO SELL THE... 799 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,393 WHAT ARE YOU, AN AUDIENCE OR A JURY? 800 00:41:19,476 --> 00:41:22,980 [LAUGHTER] 801 00:41:24,815 --> 00:41:26,984 OH-HO! YOU LIKE THAT ONE, HUH? 802 00:41:30,404 --> 00:41:31,780 TWO GUYS MEET AT A PARTY. 803 00:41:31,864 --> 00:41:33,407 ONE GUYS SAYS TO THE OTHER GUY, 804 00:41:33,490 --> 00:41:35,701 "THAT IS THE UGLIEST WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN." 805 00:41:35,784 --> 00:41:37,870 THE GUY SAYS, "THAT'S MY WIFE." 806 00:41:37,953 --> 00:41:39,747 HE SAYS, "I'M SORRY." 807 00:41:39,830 --> 00:41:42,082 THE OTHER GUY SAYS, "YOU'RE SORRY?" 808 00:41:42,166 --> 00:41:44,543 [LAUGHTER] 809 00:41:56,013 --> 00:41:58,933 [APPLAUSE] 810 00:42:04,730 --> 00:42:06,273 YOU WANT MORE? 811 00:42:10,903 --> 00:42:13,447 OKAY, YOU'RE GONNA GET MORE. 812 00:42:13,530 --> 00:42:15,241 YOU'RE GONNA GET MORE. 813 00:42:15,324 --> 00:42:18,285 DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY HAVE FIRE DOGS ON FIRE TRUCKS? 814 00:42:18,369 --> 00:42:21,288 SO THAT THE FIREMEN CAN FIND THE HYDRANTS. 815 00:42:24,541 --> 00:42:27,670 IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW WHEN TO GET OFF, YOU KNOW? 816 00:42:36,679 --> 00:42:37,805 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU -- YOU -- 817 00:42:37,888 --> 00:42:39,473 YOU'VE BEEN A REALLY TERRIFIC AUDIENCE, 818 00:42:39,556 --> 00:42:42,851 AND I...THIS HAS BEEN THE MOST WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS GIFT 819 00:42:42,935 --> 00:42:44,478 I COULD EVER HAVE. 820 00:42:44,561 --> 00:42:46,313 GOOD NIGHT. THANK YOU. 821 00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:48,315 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 822 00:43:12,798 --> 00:43:14,675 WE ARE NOW LEAVING ACAPULCO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 823 00:43:14,758 --> 00:43:16,844 BUT OUR CRUISE IS FAR FROM OVER. 824 00:43:16,927 --> 00:43:19,179 WE EXPECT TO SEE YOU ALL AT OUR GALA CHRISTMAS DAY DINNER 825 00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:21,015 TOMORROW AFTERNOON. 826 00:43:32,234 --> 00:43:34,153 -ISN'T THIS BEAUTIFUL? -MM-HMM. 827 00:43:35,904 --> 00:43:37,489 IN JUST A LITTLE WHILE, 828 00:43:37,573 --> 00:43:40,367 SANTA'S REINDEER WILL BE STREAKING THROUGH THOSE CLOUDS. 829 00:43:40,451 --> 00:43:43,704 HE'S BRINGING LOTS OF TOYS AND GOODIES ON HIS SLEIGH. 830 00:43:43,787 --> 00:43:45,873 HO-HO-HO, AND WHAT DO YOU WANT 831 00:43:45,956 --> 00:43:47,916 FOR CHRISTMAS, LITTLE GIRL? 832 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:53,213 HMM, A LITTLE HAPPINESS FOR MY MOM AND MAYBE, 833 00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:56,216 IF THERE'S SOME LEFT OVER, JUST A LITTLE FOR ME. 834 00:43:58,635 --> 00:44:01,513 I REALLY BLEW THIS TRIP. 835 00:44:01,597 --> 00:44:04,058 I'M GLAD IT'S ALMOST OVER. 836 00:44:04,141 --> 00:44:07,436 WELL, I'M SORRY IT'S ALMOST OVER. 837 00:44:07,519 --> 00:44:09,396 CAREFUL. 838 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:12,733 YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING YOU REGRET. 839 00:44:12,816 --> 00:44:16,528 I MEAN, UH, FORGETFUL MOMENT ON CHRISTMAS EVE. 840 00:44:16,612 --> 00:44:18,072 CAROL, I... 841 00:44:18,155 --> 00:44:22,618 HEY, WATCH IT, MR. CONFIRMED BACHELOR. 842 00:44:22,701 --> 00:44:26,080 WELL, LOOK WHO'S TALKING, MISS CONFIRMED BACHELORETTE. 843 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,753 HOW AM I EVER GONNA MAKE MY MAMA HAPPY? 844 00:44:32,836 --> 00:44:34,380 WELL, WHO KNOWS? 845 00:44:34,463 --> 00:44:37,216 MAYBE SOMEDAY TWO CONFIRMED BACHELORS 846 00:44:37,299 --> 00:44:39,593 WILL SUDDENLY REALIZE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. 847 00:44:43,347 --> 00:44:45,099 I THINK THEY ALREADY HAVE. 848 00:44:58,028 --> 00:45:01,031 Merrill: IT'S MY PLEASURE ON THIS BEAUTIFUL CHRISTMAS DAY 849 00:45:01,115 --> 00:45:02,783 TO WISH THE BOTH OF YOU ALL THE HAPPINESS 850 00:45:02,866 --> 00:45:04,326 THAT LOVE CAN BRING. 851 00:45:04,410 --> 00:45:06,954 AND MAY IT REFLECT ON ALL OF US. 852 00:45:07,037 --> 00:45:09,623 I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE. 853 00:45:09,706 --> 00:45:12,251 ♪♪ 854 00:45:20,509 --> 00:45:23,137 -OH, CONGRATULATIONS. -CONGRATULATIONS. 855 00:45:23,220 --> 00:45:24,138 Carol: THANK YOU! 856 00:45:32,688 --> 00:45:34,314 OH, CAROL! 857 00:45:34,398 --> 00:45:36,024 YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS FOR ME! 858 00:45:36,108 --> 00:45:39,862 BUT, MOTHER, I ACTUALLY DIDN'T GET MARRIED FOR YOU. 859 00:45:39,945 --> 00:45:41,780 I GOT MARRIED FOR ME. 860 00:45:41,864 --> 00:45:42,656 OH, COME ON. 861 00:45:42,739 --> 00:45:46,994 THIS -- THIS -- THIS WAS A MOCK WEDDING. 862 00:45:47,077 --> 00:45:48,912 I'M REALLY MARRIED. 863 00:45:51,290 --> 00:45:53,667 YOU MARRIED A MAN YOU JUST MET? 864 00:45:53,750 --> 00:45:55,669 THAT'S WHAT I DID. 865 00:45:55,752 --> 00:45:59,006 WHA-- WHA-- WHAT AM I GONNA TELL MY FRIENDS? 866 00:45:59,089 --> 00:46:01,884 THAT YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER WHO WAS ONCE SINGLE 867 00:46:01,967 --> 00:46:04,511 AND NOW ISN'T. 868 00:46:04,595 --> 00:46:07,848 MAYBE WE COULD SAY YOU'RE ENGAGED... 869 00:46:07,931 --> 00:46:09,224 OH, MOTHER! 870 00:46:09,308 --> 00:46:12,519 AT LEAST FOR A LITTLE WHILE. LEAVE IT TO ME. 871 00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:14,313 AT LEAST WE'RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK. 872 00:46:15,731 --> 00:46:18,859 WHERE ARE THE SANTAS, GOPHER? 873 00:46:15,731 --> 00:46:18,859 THIS IS CHRISTMAS DAY. 874 00:46:18,942 --> 00:46:20,194 SIR, I'M SORRY. I DON'T KNOW. 875 00:46:25,782 --> 00:46:29,536 Santa: HO-HO-HO. MERRY CHRISTMAS! 876 00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:32,664 HO-HO-HO. 877 00:46:32,748 --> 00:46:35,751 HO-HO-HO. -MERRY CHRISTMAS! 878 00:46:35,834 --> 00:46:37,544 -HO-HO-HO. -MERRY CHRISTMAS! 879 00:46:37,628 --> 00:46:39,671 WELL, YOU DID IT AGAIN. 880 00:46:39,755 --> 00:46:40,797 -THANK YOU. -THANK YOU. -THANK YOU. 881 00:46:41,798 --> 00:46:43,342 [BARKS] 882 00:46:50,641 --> 00:46:52,184 ♪♪ 883 00:47:03,111 --> 00:47:05,072 TURNED OUT TO BE GREAT SANTA CLAUSES AFTER ALL. 884 00:47:05,155 --> 00:47:07,407 OUR PLEASURE. 885 00:47:07,491 --> 00:47:10,285 THE KIDS LOVED ALL OF YOU. 886 00:47:10,369 --> 00:47:11,995 AND NOW YOU CAN GO BACK TO BEING SOLO SANTAS. 887 00:47:12,079 --> 00:47:13,413 I'M AFRAID NOT, ISAAC. 888 00:47:13,497 --> 00:47:15,457 WE'VE DECIDED WE'RE GONNA WORK TOGETHER FROM NOW ON. 889 00:47:15,541 --> 00:47:16,416 -YEP. -RIGHT. 890 00:47:16,500 --> 00:47:18,835 BUT HOW ABOUT THREE RABBITS FOR EASTER? 891 00:47:23,674 --> 00:47:26,593 OH, THERE THEY ARE. 892 00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:28,220 GOODBYE, BILLY. -AH, GOODBYE, CAPTAIN. 893 00:47:28,303 --> 00:47:31,098 WE'RE SO GLAD WE COULD GET YOU AND TUNDRA TOGETHER. 894 00:47:31,181 --> 00:47:32,099 TOGETHER FOREVER. 895 00:47:32,182 --> 00:47:34,393 OH, GOODBYE, TUNDRA. 896 00:47:34,476 --> 00:47:35,727 I'M GONNA MISS YOU. 897 00:47:35,811 --> 00:47:37,020 WELL, YOU WON'T MISS HER FOR LONG. 898 00:47:37,104 --> 00:47:38,605 YES. WE'RE BOOKING TUNDRA AND BILLY 899 00:47:38,689 --> 00:47:40,607 TO ENTERTAIN ON MORE OF OUR CRUISES. 900 00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:42,734 UNH-UNH. BILLY AND TUNDRA. 901 00:47:42,818 --> 00:47:46,280 EVEN THOUGH SHE'S TOP DOG, I STILL GET TOP BILLING. 902 00:47:46,363 --> 00:47:47,322 COME ON. 903 00:48:17,686 --> 00:48:20,147 ♪♪ 63605

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.