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1
00:00:00,166 --> 00:00:01,918
Aw, drat this thing!
2
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,044
[STATIC CRACKLING]
3
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:05,839
Never works.
I'm gonna miss my favorite program.
4
00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:12,387
-Hi, Pops.
-Who's that?
5
00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:16,349
I'm Johnny Cash.
I sing and play a little guitar.
6
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:20,687
How about that?
Johnny Cash is on the radio!
7
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,397
I'm not on the radio.
8
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,983
What? I can't hear you.
9
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:29,070
-Why don't you turn the volume up?
-Oh, okay.
10
00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:31,114
[STATIC CONTINUES CRACKLING]
11
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:34,409
-Can you hear better now?
-Yeah.
12
00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:38,121
It's like he's right here
in the room with me.
13
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:42,959
It's The Muppet Show,
14
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,920
with our very special guest star,
Johnny Cash.
15
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,881
[CHEERING]
16
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:50,050
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
17
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,313
♪ It's time to play the music ♪
18
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,523
♪ It's time to light the lights ♪
19
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:09,569
♪ It's time to meet the Muppets
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
20
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,113
♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪
21
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,324
♪ It's time to dress up right ♪
22
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:18,078
♪ It's time to raise the curtain
On The Muppet Show tonight ♪
23
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:20,497
♪ Why do we always come here? ♪
24
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,749
♪ I guess we'll never know ♪
25
00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:24,959
♪ It's like a kind of torture ♪
26
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,212
♪ To have to watch this show ♪
27
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,178
♪ But now let's get things started ♪
28
00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:37,389
♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪
29
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:41,810
♪ It's time to get things started
On the most sensational, inspirational ♪
30
00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:44,020
♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪
31
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,815
♪ This is what we call ♪
32
00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:50,694
♪ The Muppet Show ♪
33
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,531
[DUCK QUACKS & GONZO SCREAMS]
34
00:01:57,492 --> 00:02:01,037
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
and howdy! Ha, ha.
35
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,581
Tonight The Muppet Show
goes country western,
36
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:06,543
and our guest star
is the king of country western music,
37
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,962
Mr. Johnny Cash!
38
00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:11,256
Yes! And as an added surprise,
39
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:16,636
the show is going to be broadcast live
over radio station WHOG.
40
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:17,971
-♪ W ♪
-♪ H ♪
41
00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:19,097
-♪ O ♪
-♪ G ♪
42
00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:22,892
ALL: ♪ Love us like an old hound dog
We're country radio ♪
43
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,019
-♪ W ♪
-♪ H ♪
44
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:26,688
-♪ O ♪
-♪ G ♪
45
00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:29,482
Why are you guys doing that?
We're not even broadcasting yet.
46
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:32,444
ALL:
♪ We're just rehearsing ♪
47
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:35,238
Uh, off, off, off.
Get out, get out, get out.
48
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:36,448
-Excuse me.
-What?
49
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,241
-Just fixing to check the sound.
-Huh?
50
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,660
Testing. One, two, a boy named Sue.
51
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,829
Three, four, there ain't no more.
52
00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:45,457
Yeah, terrific. Now can I start the show?
53
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,834
Oh, you can't start.
We ain't broadcasting yet.
54
00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:49,461
Well, I can't help that.
55
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:52,756
Ladies and gentlemen,
before our radio broadcast begins,
56
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,466
here's a great country group.
57
00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:57,886
They used to be enemies, but, well,
I'll let them tell their own stories.
58
00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:01,473
Here they are,
the Martins and the Coys! Yay!
59
00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,641
[PLAYING UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC]
60
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:09,064
♪ Gather round me, children
And I'll tell a story ♪
61
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:13,068
ALL: ♪ Of the mountains
In the days when guns were law ♪
62
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:15,195
♪ When two families got disputin' ♪
63
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,238
♪ It was bound to end in shootin' ♪
64
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:21,242
♪ So just listen close
I'll tell you what I saw ♪
65
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:25,163
ALL: ♪ Oh, the Martins and the Coys
They were reckless mountain boys ♪
66
00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:29,292
♪ And they took up family feudin'
When they'd meet ♪
67
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:32,962
♪ They would shoot each other quicker
Than it took your eye to flicker ♪
68
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:37,175
♪ They could knock a squirrel's eye out
At 90 feet ♪
69
00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:39,719
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
70
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:54,567
MAN: You all right, Jake?
JAKE: I'm all right!
71
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,320
I can really bushwhack them from up here.
72
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,030
Are you a Martin or a Coy?
73
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:01,157
Neither one. I'm a music lover.
74
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,909
[STATLER & WALDORF LAUGH]
75
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,496
[MARTINS & COYS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
76
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,164
No shooting in the theater!
77
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,457
[YELPS]
78
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:11,668
No fighting in the theater either!
79
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,586
Hey, that opening number bombed.
80
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,213
Well, no bombing in the theater.
81
00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:16,715
[BOMB EXPLODES]
82
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:18,967
[BILLY YELPS]
83
00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:20,260
[KERMIT SIGHS]
84
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:23,138
Now, listen,
what's all this stuff doing on my desk?
85
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:26,558
Well, Mr. Frog, you said
we could broadcast from y'all's theater.
86
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:29,602
I said you could put a microphone
on the stage.
87
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:32,272
Now, Fozzie Bear on next. Fozzie Bear.
88
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:35,442
Well, you see, your microphone,
it feeds into your preamp here.
89
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:38,111
Then you got your mixing board
and your patch panels.
90
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:39,696
What's this wire here about?
91
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:40,905
[FOZZIE LAUGHS]
92
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,365
Whoa!
93
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,410
About neck high.
94
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,121
Uh, Fozzie, are you okay?
95
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:53,376
Could you please postpone my act, Kermit?
I got a little sore throat.
96
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:57,630
Mm. Uh, Johnny Cash.
Johnny Cash on-stage, please.
97
00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,799
When are you gonna start this broadcast?
98
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:03,053
Well, whenever Big Tiny Tallsaddle
gets here.
99
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:08,058
Howdy, howdy, frogs and neighbors!
100
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,225
And here he is.
101
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:13,772
Big Tiny Tallsaddle here a-talking at you.
102
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,524
Okay, Billy boy, if you're all saddled up,
103
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:20,445
let's climb aboard Old Paint
and get this here roundup a-going.
104
00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:22,655
Oh, you betcha, Big Tiny.
105
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:25,325
Translate for me.
Does that mean you're about to broadcast?
106
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:28,453
-Yeah.
-Okay, I'll introduce Johnny Cash.
107
00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:30,622
Who's that little green fella?
108
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:34,125
Why, I think he's called Gonzo the Frog.
109
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,838
Okay, and now it's time
to introduce our very special guest,
110
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:41,758
one of country-western music's
all-time great stars.
111
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:44,219
-Ladies and gentlemen, here--
-Step aside, Gonzo.
112
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:48,515
-This is the big time.
-Four, three, two... You're on, Big Tiny.
113
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:49,808
-♪ W ♪
-♪ H ♪
114
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:50,934
-♪ O ♪
-♪ G ♪
115
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,769
ALL:
♪ One to get ready, two to go ♪
116
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:57,023
♪ On the Big Tiny Tallsaddle Show ♪
117
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:01,528
Yes, sir. Thank you, thank you.
Howdy, friends and neighbors.
118
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,780
This is Big Tiny Tallsaddle
119
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:08,284
coming at you from radio station WHOG.
120
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:13,832
W-Hog, where everybody has a swill time.
121
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:17,168
And tonight
we're broadcasting live from...
122
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:20,005
-What's the name of this theater?
-This is the Muppet Theatre--
123
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,966
Yeah, right. From the Muffin Theater!
124
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:26,094
Let's kick things off
with an old buddy of mine,
125
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,221
Mr. Johnny Cash!
126
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:31,057
Uh, Mr. Johnny Cash! Yay!
127
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:33,226
[PLAYING MOODY COUNTRY MUSIC]
128
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:46,656
♪ An old cowboy went riding out
One dark and windy day ♪
129
00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:52,871
♪ Upon a ridge he rested
As he went along his way ♪
130
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:59,044
♪ When all at once a mighty herd
Of red-eyed cows he saw ♪
131
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:02,881
♪ Plowing through the ragged sky ♪
132
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,425
♪ And up a cloudy drawl ♪
133
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:12,974
♪ Their brands were still on fire
And their hooves were made of steel ♪
134
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:19,856
♪ Their horns were black and shiny
And their hot breath he could feel ♪
135
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:25,028
♪ A bolt of fear went through him
As they thundered through the sky ♪
136
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:28,990
♪ For he saw the riders coming hard ♪
137
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:31,785
♪ And he heard their mournful cry ♪
138
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,747
♪ Yippie-yai-yo ♪
139
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,999
GONZO:
♪ Yippie-yai-yo ♪
140
00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,918
♪ Yippie-yai-yay ♪
141
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:43,296
♪ Yippie-yai-yay ♪
142
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:50,679
ALL:
♪ Ghost riders in the sky ♪
143
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:08,196
♪ Their faces gaunt
Their eyes were blurred ♪
144
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,949
♪ Their shirts all soaked with sweat ♪
145
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:16,705
♪ He's riding hard to catch that herd
But he ain't caught them yet ♪
146
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:22,794
♪ They've got to ride forever
On that range up in the sky ♪
147
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:26,548
♪ On horses snorting fire ♪
148
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:29,634
♪ As they ride on, hear their cry ♪
149
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:37,934
♪ As the riders loped on by him
He heard one call his name ♪
150
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:46,026
♪ "If you want to save your soul from hell
A-riding on our range ♪
151
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:50,321
♪ Cowboy, change your ways today
Or with us you will ride ♪
152
00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:54,117
♪ Trying to catch the devil's herd ♪
153
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,746
♪ Across these endless skies" ♪
154
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,790
♪ Yippie-yai-yo ♪
155
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,001
GONZO:
♪ Yippie-yai-yo ♪
156
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:04,919
♪ Yippie-yai-yay ♪
157
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,755
GONZO:
♪ Yippie-yai-yay-- ♪
158
00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:08,298
[GONZO SCREAMS]
159
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,593
ALL:
♪ Ghost riders in the sky ♪
160
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:15,221
GONZO:
Turn around, Potsy. Turn around.
161
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,639
[COW MOOS]
162
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:21,561
ALL:
♪ Ghost riders in the sky ♪
163
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:24,898
GONZO:
Hyah! Hyah!
164
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:28,109
Right, move. Move.
165
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:39,120
Huh, if men that ride horses
are called cowboys,
166
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:41,623
what do you call chickens that ride cows?
167
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,416
Stupid.
168
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,921
Ah, thank you, thank you, Johnny Cash.
169
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:51,883
Now, that's what I call
a real country classic.
170
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:54,386
Excuse me, I think I'm on next.
171
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,930
You? Why, you're a dog.
172
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,723
Yup, ever since I was a pup.
173
00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,392
[CHUCKLES]
174
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:01,559
Go bury a bone.
175
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,353
-Huh?
-Get!
176
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,521
[GROWLS]
177
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,855
Woof!
178
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,607
All right.
179
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:10,568
And now that great old-time country act,
180
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:15,740
Grandpa McGuire and His Whistling Bricks.
181
00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:20,203
-You're not Grandpa McGuire.
-I sent him home.
182
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:25,083
Listen, I'm the one that says what goes on
and what doesn't go on on this show.
183
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,336
Let's have a big hand
for this little fella.
184
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:31,047
He's gonna show off his championship style
185
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:35,677
that won him
the Calaveras County frog-jumping contest.
186
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,512
Hey, I am not.
187
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:40,306
I've never been
in any frog-jumping contest in my life.
188
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:43,143
-Billy boy, you got them red-hot marbles?
-What?
189
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:44,394
Sure do, Big Tiny.
190
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,980
[MARBLES CLACKING & KERMIT YELPING]
191
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:55,405
Let's hear it for the frog-jumping champ!
Ha, ha!
192
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,407
[YELPING]
193
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,951
That Big Tiny Tallsaddle
is driving me crazy.
194
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,787
He won't even let me stay on my own stage.
195
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:05,123
Careful what you say about Big Tiny.
196
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:08,418
I will not be careful! He makes me mad!
He makes me angry!
197
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,462
Kermit, why are you getting so angry?
198
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:11,880
That Big Tiny Tallsaddle.
199
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:14,049
I promised him
he could do his radio show here,
200
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,634
but he acts like he owns this theater.
201
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:20,847
Big Tiny Tallsaddle is as tough
as a 25-cent steak.
202
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,807
Well, he can't be that bad.
203
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,434
[MICROPHONE STAND CLANGS]
204
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:30,732
All I did was drop Big Tiny's guitar pick.
205
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:36,571
It's getting worse.
206
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:43,328
All right. And so the show goes on here
at Mighty Hog Radio.
207
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:48,333
♪ For that finger-lickin' country sound,
Out in the boonies and far around, ♪
208
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:49,626
-♪ It's W ♪
-♪ H ♪
209
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,295
-♪ O ♪
-♪ G♪
210
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:56,091
-All right. What's next?
-Uh, Lew Zealand and the Gills Brothers.
211
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,634
Yeah, well, they'd better be good, Frog.
212
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:01,096
I got plenty of these
microphone stands left, you know.
213
00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:04,808
Yeah, uh, ladies and gentlemen,
Lew Zealand! Yay!
214
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:13,566
♪ Sometimes I do what I wanna.
Heh. Sometimes I do what I ought. ♪
215
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:20,532
♪ Sometimes I feel a great notion
To jump in a net and get caught! ♪
216
00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:21,950
Everybody!
217
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:29,499
ALL: ♪ Goodnight, Sardine
Goodnight, Sardine ♪
218
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:37,132
♪ Goodnight, Sardine, goodnight, Sardine,
I'll see you in my stream. ♪
219
00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:41,094
-♪ Last Saturday night I got married. ♪
-♪ Ooo-ooo-ooo ♪
220
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:44,764
-♪ Didn't even let Mom and Dad know. ♪
-♪ Ooo-ooo-ooo ♪
221
00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:48,852
♪ But my soulmate got hooked
On an earthworm, ♪
222
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:52,230
♪ And all I've got left is shallow. ♪
223
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:56,609
♪ Oh, stop foundering!
Stop your floundering! ♪
224
00:12:56,693 --> 00:13:00,447
♪ Oh, you need a new porpoise in life!
Heh heh! ♪
225
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:04,242
♪ Don't do what that sturgeon is urgin'! ♪
226
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:08,663
♪ Go home to your swell-fish wife!
Oh! So-- ♪
227
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:15,879
ALL: ♪ Goodnight, Sardine
Goodnight, Sardine ♪
228
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:20,008
♪ Goodnight, Sardine,
Goodnight, Sardine, ♪
229
00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:29,601
♪ I'll see you in my stre-e-e-am! ♪
230
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,860
Poor soul. He lost his sardine.
231
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,904
Well, finders kippers.
232
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:47,202
Okay, well, moving right along
with our evening of country-western music,
233
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:52,082
ladies and gentlemen, once again,
Mr. Johnny Cash! Yeah!
234
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,959
Thank you. Thank you very much.
235
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,713
Thank you.
I'd like to make a special dedication now.
236
00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:03,385
I would like to do a song
especially for Big Tiny Tallsaddle.
237
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:06,888
It's his favorite,
and it goes something like this.
238
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:10,517
Excuse me, John,
but can I play the piano on this song?
239
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,353
I really don't think I need an accompanist
on this song.
240
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,855
-Thank you.
-That's okay. That's what I'm here for.
241
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:18,817
-What are you gonna sing?
-I don't think you know this song.
242
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,986
-Well, what key is it in?
-Well, it's in A-flat.
243
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:26,533
Okay, well just give me an A
and I'll flatten it myself. Ha, ha.
244
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:29,077
You just sing,
and I'm gonna follow right along.
245
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:32,956
-Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you.
-Okay.
246
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:35,834
Just jump in anytime now.
247
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:40,714
♪ Well, he's not very handsome
To look at ♪
248
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:46,386
♪ Oh, he's shaggy and eats like a hog ♪
249
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:52,809
♪ And he's always killing my chickens ♪
250
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:53,935
Who's that?
251
00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:57,480
♪ That dirty old egg-sucking dog ♪
252
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:58,648
[GASPS]
253
00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,358
Wha...?
254
00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:02,694
Here comes the chorus now.
255
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:06,573
♪ Egg-sucking dog ♪
256
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,116
This is terrible.
257
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:12,662
♪ I'm gonna stomp your head
In the ground ♪
258
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,330
Oh, no.
259
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:20,045
♪ If you don't stay out of my henhouse ♪
260
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:24,758
♪ You dirty old egg-sucking hound ♪
261
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:28,511
But that's a lie.
I never touched a chicken in my life.
262
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:32,390
I can't stand them.
They're nasty, scrawny old things.
263
00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:35,268
Oh, it's nothing personal.
It's just a song.
264
00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:39,981
♪ If he don't stop eating my eggs up ♪
265
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:45,904
♪ Though I'm not a real bad guy ♪
266
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:52,786
♪ I'm going to take my rifle
And send him ♪
267
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:57,207
♪ To that great chicken house in the sky ♪
268
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,459
Everybody sing!
269
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:04,714
ALL:
♪ Egg-sucking dog ♪
270
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:09,803
♪ I'm gonna stomp your head
In the ground ♪
271
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,054
They wouldn't do that.
272
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:16,851
♪ If you don't stay out of my henhouse ♪
273
00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:24,234
♪ You dirty old egg-sucking hound ♪
274
00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:36,121
I told you, I don't like chickens.
I hate chickens.
275
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:37,747
I heard that.
276
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,165
Get him, girls.
277
00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:41,209
[CHICKENS SQUAWKING]
278
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:43,378
[ROWLF YELLING]
279
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:46,965
Hey, you know how dogs
like their eggs cooked?
280
00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:48,508
-No.
-Pooched!
281
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:50,552
[LAUGHS]
282
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:55,724
Oh, Billy boy, this here radio broadcast
is gonna be a hit.
283
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:58,226
Well, it's a dud for us dogs.
284
00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:01,229
And an insult to the poultry of the world.
285
00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:02,355
[GONZO SCOFFS]
286
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:04,482
Fozzie, if you're okay,
I'll introduce you.
287
00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:06,860
-Yes.
-Hold back there, Gonzo the Frog.
288
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,611
Who are you going to introduce?
289
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:09,738
[SIGHS]
290
00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:12,198
No, no, the name is Kermit.
291
00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:15,493
Okay. The bear's name is Kermit.
292
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,245
I got it. What does he do?
293
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:20,290
-Well, if you must know, he's the comic.
-Aha.
294
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:24,502
Sorry, only one comic works
The Big Tiny Tallsaddle Show:
295
00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:27,339
my nephew Wild Wally Whoopie.
296
00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:30,967
-What?
-Another comic?
297
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:35,221
Uh, listen, on The Muppet Show,
Fozzie Bear is the comic.
298
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:37,223
Yes!
299
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:42,896
Fozzie and Kermit Bear?
What is it, a brother act?
300
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:47,317
Okay, folks, it's comedy time,
and here is our own--
301
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,403
Hold on, little green buddy.
Which comic you introducing?
302
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:52,155
I was introducing our own comedian.
303
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:55,075
Yes, folks, and here he is,
that wild wit of the West,
304
00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:57,035
Wonderful Wally Whoopie!
305
00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:59,788
Fozzie Bear! Yay!
306
00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:02,040
Hiya, hiya, hiya. Thank you, thank you.
307
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:05,418
Howdy, friends.
Wonderful Wally Whoopie here and--
308
00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:07,003
Whoa, Nellie!
309
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:09,464
You folks watching on radio
won't believe this,
310
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:12,467
but I am standing next to a wild bear.
311
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,761
Oh, no, no, sir. I'm not a wild--
312
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:18,098
Well, I mean, I'm a bear,
but I'm not wild.
313
00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:22,268
Whoa. Listen, I don't blame you.
I'm not wild about bears either.
314
00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:24,104
[LAUGHS]
315
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:26,981
Uh, I am a comedian.
316
00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,233
-A comedian?
-Yes.
317
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,819
You know the most important thing
about being a comedian?
318
00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:33,279
-No, what's the most import--?
-Timing!
319
00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:36,700
Let's hear one of your jokes, comedian.
320
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,660
Oh, all right. Ahem.
321
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:39,786
[BLOWS]
322
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:42,789
Ahem. See, this walrus,
he goes into the theater...
323
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,333
Hey, you're not nervous, are you?
324
00:18:45,417 --> 00:18:47,627
-Well, a little bit, yeah.
-A little.
325
00:18:47,711 --> 00:18:52,590
Why, folks, he's as nervous as a frog
on a freeway with his hopper busted.
326
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:57,470
-Go ahead with your little story.
-Thank you. This walrus--
327
00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:59,139
-And don't be nervous.
-Fine.
328
00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:01,349
-This walrus--
-This better be good, folks.
329
00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:04,644
-Ahh.
-What's the matter, cat got your joke?
330
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,982
Why don't you forget
about being a comedian?
331
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:12,193
Why don't you learn to ride a bicycle
and join the circus?
332
00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:14,195
Oh, no, no. I wanna get laughs.
333
00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:16,072
Fall off the bike.
334
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:19,826
Listen, you've been a great stooge.
335
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:22,996
And to show you what kind of guy
Wally Whoopie is,
336
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:26,374
I'm inviting you up to my ranch
for the weekend.
337
00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:27,500
You mean--?
338
00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:29,586
Oh, wow, thank you, thank you.
339
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,547
-I just want you to go up there and relax.
-I will.
340
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,216
Stretch out on the floor and take it easy.
341
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:36,343
On the floor?
342
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:39,179
Yes, my regular rug's at the cleaners.
343
00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:43,808
Thank you, thank you.
Keep them cards and letters coming in.
344
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:47,479
Yes, indeed, we'll see you soon
if the creek don't rise.
345
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,650
All right.
346
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:57,238
Let's hear it for the funniest man
west of West of the Pecos,
347
00:19:57,322 --> 00:19:58,573
Wally Whoopie!
348
00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:00,700
Come on out, Wally.
349
00:20:00,784 --> 00:20:02,285
[CHUCKLES]
350
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:04,537
Hey, good man.
351
00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:06,623
And while we're at it,
352
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:12,671
let's have a murmur of sympathy
for that poor sap Fozzie Bear.
353
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,297
-Okay, that does it.
-Huh?
354
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:17,842
How dare you say things like that
about my friend Fozzie?
355
00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:20,178
This bear is one of the stars
of The Muppet Show.
356
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:23,056
-He's loving and friendly...
-And funny.
357
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:25,433
He's dedicated, loyal, trustworthy...
358
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:26,685
Funny.
359
00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:29,979
...uh, handsome, generous,
sweet, gentle, charming...
360
00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:31,356
Funny.
361
00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:34,526
...and very, very funny.
362
00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:37,320
[GASPS THEN LAUGHS]
363
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:40,699
-Mwah, mwah. Thank you. Ha-ha-ha.
-Yep, yeah.
364
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:44,494
Now, Tallsaddle,
just get out of the theater.
365
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,246
-What?
-You heard me.
366
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:48,873
My friends and I work hard every week
to do a good show,
367
00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:51,876
and we don't need your kind around
being mean and cruel.
368
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,712
Speaking of being cruel,
369
00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:58,341
I have this little trick I like to do
with necks and microphone stands.
370
00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:01,678
Wait a minute, Mr. Tallsaddle.
I was out in the alley,
371
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,764
and some kids were letting the air
out of your horse!
372
00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:06,641
Huh? My horse?
373
00:21:06,725 --> 00:21:10,812
Hey, you kids get away from that horse!
That's a brand-new horse!
374
00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:13,023
-Lock the door, Beau!
BEAUREGARD: Okay.
375
00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:14,190
[DOOR CLANGS]
376
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,736
Letting the air out of his horse?
377
00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:20,030
Well, it's all I could think of.
378
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:23,158
Whatever. Scooter, listen,
you got rid of Tallsaddle.
379
00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:24,659
I can't thank you enough.
380
00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:27,162
Oh, gee, Kermit, I don't need thanks.
381
00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:29,539
Course, I could use some cash.
382
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:33,960
Well, of course you could use some cash.
Cash is exactly what we all need.
383
00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:37,672
So let's just sit back and enjoy the music
of the one and only Johnny Cash!
384
00:21:37,756 --> 00:21:39,591
-Yay!
-But-- But, no, see, I--
385
00:21:39,674 --> 00:21:41,843
Scooter, will you get off? Yay!
386
00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:44,012
[PLAYING UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC]
387
00:21:49,142 --> 00:21:51,144
Everybody make like a train now.
388
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:53,313
[BAND CHUGGING]
389
00:22:00,862 --> 00:22:02,655
♪ Hey, look a-yonder comin' ♪
390
00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:06,785
♪ Comin' down that railroad track ♪
391
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:09,662
♪ Look a-yonder comin' ♪
392
00:22:10,705 --> 00:22:13,792
♪ Comin' down that railroad track ♪
393
00:22:13,875 --> 00:22:17,462
♪ That's that Orange Blossom Special ♪
394
00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:21,508
♪ Bringing my baby back
Hi, baby ♪
395
00:22:24,511 --> 00:22:26,596
[BAND CONTINUES CHUGGING]
396
00:23:04,968 --> 00:23:08,722
♪ We got married in a fever ♪
397
00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:11,641
♪ Hotter than a pepper sprout ♪
398
00:23:12,726 --> 00:23:16,354
♪ We've been talking about Jackson ♪
399
00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:19,482
♪ Ever since the fire went out ♪
400
00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:21,818
♪ I'm going to Jackson ♪
401
00:23:22,861 --> 00:23:25,447
♪ I'm gonna mess around ♪
402
00:23:26,781 --> 00:23:30,410
♪ Honey, I'm going to Jackson ♪
403
00:23:30,493 --> 00:23:32,871
♪ Look out, Jackson town ♪
404
00:23:32,954 --> 00:23:34,164
Yahoo!
405
00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:38,209
♪ Well, go on down to Jackson ♪
406
00:23:38,293 --> 00:23:41,129
-♪ Go ahead and wreck your health ♪
-♪ Wreck your health ♪
407
00:23:41,212 --> 00:23:44,758
♪ Go play your hand, you big-talking man ♪
408
00:23:44,841 --> 00:23:48,261
♪ Make a big fool of yourself ♪
409
00:23:48,345 --> 00:23:50,597
♪ Yeah, go to Jackson ♪
410
00:23:51,806 --> 00:23:53,933
♪ Go comb your hair ♪
411
00:23:54,017 --> 00:23:58,438
♪ Oh, honey, I'm gonna snowball Jackson ♪
412
00:23:58,521 --> 00:23:59,564
[SCOFFS]
413
00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:02,359
♪ See if I care ♪
414
00:24:02,442 --> 00:24:04,444
[BAND CONTINUES CHUGGING]
415
00:24:04,527 --> 00:24:07,322
♪ Well, you talk about ramblin' ♪
416
00:24:07,405 --> 00:24:10,408
♪ She's the fastest train on the line ♪
417
00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:11,534
Uh-huh!
418
00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:13,286
♪ Hey, you talk about ramblin' ♪
419
00:24:13,370 --> 00:24:14,412
Whoo!
420
00:24:14,496 --> 00:24:18,333
♪ She's the fastest train on the line ♪
421
00:24:18,416 --> 00:24:20,669
♪ That's that Orange Blossom Special ♪
422
00:24:20,752 --> 00:24:21,836
Uh-huh!
423
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,256
♪ Rolling down the seaboard line ♪
424
00:24:25,340 --> 00:24:28,802
ALL:
♪ It's that Orange Blossom Special ♪
425
00:24:28,885 --> 00:24:31,346
♪ Rolling down the seaboard line ♪
426
00:24:31,429 --> 00:24:32,472
Again.
427
00:24:32,555 --> 00:24:35,725
ALL:
♪ It's that Orange Blossom Special ♪
428
00:24:35,809 --> 00:24:42,190
♪ Rolling down the seaboard line ♪
429
00:24:55,370 --> 00:24:58,081
It looks like we've come down
to the end of the line.
430
00:24:58,164 --> 00:24:59,457
But before we go,
431
00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:02,043
let us have a big round of applause
for our guest star.
432
00:25:02,127 --> 00:25:06,006
Ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Cash! Yay!
433
00:25:06,089 --> 00:25:08,842
Yes! Yeah.
434
00:25:08,925 --> 00:25:10,552
Thank you.
435
00:25:12,095 --> 00:25:15,140
Thank you. It's been my pleasure.
I've enjoyed being with you.
436
00:25:15,223 --> 00:25:18,935
Well, we had a good time too,
once we got rid of Big Tiny Tallsaddle.
437
00:25:19,019 --> 00:25:20,854
BIG TINY: Hey, you!
-Uh-oh.
438
00:25:20,937 --> 00:25:23,565
Looks like you spoke too soon.
Look who's here.
439
00:25:23,648 --> 00:25:26,067
Uh, listen, Big Tiny,
I thought I told you...
440
00:25:26,151 --> 00:25:29,112
Now, take it easy, Gonzo.
441
00:25:29,195 --> 00:25:33,158
Just come back
to borrow your bicycle pump.
442
00:25:33,241 --> 00:25:34,534
What?
443
00:25:34,617 --> 00:25:38,496
Well, I gotta pump up Old Paint
before they tow him away.
444
00:25:38,580 --> 00:25:41,458
-Pump up Old Paint?
-Uh, I'll explain later.
445
00:25:41,541 --> 00:25:44,169
We'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show!
446
00:25:44,252 --> 00:25:46,338
[ALL CHATTERING]
447
00:25:46,421 --> 00:25:48,506
[BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC]
448
00:26:21,539 --> 00:26:23,416
What kind of a show would you call that?
449
00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:26,127
Frankly, I'd call it quits.
450
00:26:26,211 --> 00:26:28,004
BOTH:
Quits! Quits!
35034
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