All language subtitles for The Muppet Show S04E17 Guest Dizzy Gillespie 1080p DSNP WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-LAZY_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:01,626 [KNOCKING] 2 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:07,090 Dizzy Gillespie. Dizzy Gillespie. Fifteen seconds to curtain, Dizzy! 3 00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:14,055 Oh, uh... Say, Diz. Kermit does have one rule for this show. 4 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,223 What's that? 5 00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:17,183 No puppets allowed. 6 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,685 What? 7 00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:23,189 Guess I have to play the trumpet then. 8 00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:27,485 It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest star, 9 00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:28,903 Dizzy Gillespie! 10 00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:31,322 Yay! 11 00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:34,200 [BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC] 12 00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,172 ♪ It's time to play the music ♪ 13 00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:49,299 ♪ It's time to light the lights ♪ 14 00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:51,259 ♪ It's time to get things started ♪ 15 00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,428 ♪ Why don't you get things started? ♪ 16 00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:58,058 Poor Statler. He couldn't take it anymore. 17 00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:02,395 ♪ It's time to get things started On the most sensational, inspirational ♪ 18 00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,689 ♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪ 19 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:07,400 ♪ This is what we call ♪ 20 00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:11,029 ♪ The Muppet Show ♪ 21 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,866 [PLAYS "CHARGE"] 22 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:20,497 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 23 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:24,292 Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hi-ho and welcome to another one. 24 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:28,630 We call these things Muppet Shows, and we call tonight's Muppet Show a good one. 25 00:01:28,713 --> 00:01:32,258 And that's because our very special guest star is the amazing master of jazz, 26 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:34,219 Mr. Dizzy Gillespie. 27 00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:37,514 Why, tonight even Statler and Waldorf will have a good time. 28 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,433 Statler isn't here tonight, Kermit. He's sick. 29 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,227 Oh, that's too bad. The flu? 30 00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:44,521 No, the show. He's sick of it. 31 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:45,689 [WALDORF LAUGHS] 32 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,024 Well, uh, don't get lonely up there, okay? 33 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,695 Not much chance of that. My wife is using Statler's ticket. 34 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,571 She's just powdering her nose. 35 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,824 No kidding? I've always wanted to meet your wife. 36 00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:01,996 I thought the show had started. Who's the frog? 37 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,499 Uh, that's Kermit, dear. 38 00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:06,835 What's your wife's name, Waldorf? 39 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,878 Astoria. 40 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,797 It figures. 41 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,466 Come on, kill the small talk. 42 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,844 Isn't there any music on this show? 43 00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,971 Oh, yes, indeed, Astoria. 44 00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:20,348 Uh, in honor of Dizzy Gillespie, 45 00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:23,476 we present an all-jazz evening, starting with-- 46 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,228 ASTORIA: Can the commentary. 47 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:28,189 Hit it, boys. One, two, three... 48 00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:30,191 [PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC] 49 00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:36,990 ♪ There's lots of fish in the sea ♪ 50 00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:42,037 ♪ From which a girl can choose ♪ 51 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:47,334 ♪ There's lots of fish in the sea ♪ 52 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:53,590 ♪ From which a girl can choose ♪ 53 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:57,552 ♪ But speakin' personally ♪ 54 00:02:57,635 --> 00:03:00,805 ♪ I wanna catch me some blues ♪ 55 00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:09,606 ♪ If I saw a turbot I don't think I'd disturb it ♪ 56 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:14,694 ♪ I wouldn't wanna trifle with a trout ♪ 57 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:19,657 ♪ A flounder is a bounder A shad is a cad ♪ 58 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:23,411 ♪ And the red snapper's definitely out ♪ 59 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:30,377 ♪ Not the cod or the scrod Or the little sardine ♪ 60 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,920 ♪ Can get in the swim ♪ 61 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:34,673 ♪ They just don't make the scene ♪ 62 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:38,176 ♪ I tell you definitely ♪ 63 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:44,557 ♪ I wanna catch me some blues ♪ 64 00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:46,393 [WATER SPLASHES] 65 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:55,318 Now, let me get this straight. This is a typical show, right, Waldorf? 66 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:58,613 Well, I'd say so, Astoria, my dear. Hm. 67 00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:02,492 First a frog talks, and then a fish sings. 68 00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:05,829 Mm. I wanted you to see for yourself. 69 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,623 I bet you thought I came here to have a good time. 70 00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:13,169 Okay, nicely done, fish. 71 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,338 -Are you Kermit the Frog? -Uh, yeah. 72 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:19,509 Well, I'm Inspector LaBrea, County Environmental Department. 73 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,094 Oh? 74 00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:24,097 I'm gonna record the loudness level on your show. 75 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:27,350 You see, there have been some complaints about the noise. 76 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:30,353 Too much noise on our show? Uh, what kind of noise? 77 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:34,691 Certainly not applause or laughter. Ha-ha-ha. 78 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,527 -Ha, ha. -You see, music is your big problem. 79 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,154 Let me show you. 80 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,405 What? 81 00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:43,616 [BLOWS TRUMPET THEN ALARM WAILING] 82 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,703 -You're concerned about noise, huh? -What? 83 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:49,956 I say, you're concerned about noise! 84 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,708 Ahem. Yeah, yeah. 85 00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,126 It's the music, so, huh? 86 00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:56,546 Uh, yes. You see, your strings are okay. But the brass, 87 00:04:56,629 --> 00:05:00,008 especially the trumpet, is murder. 88 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:03,970 Oh, terrific. Kermit, hey, it's time to introduce Dizzy Gillespie. 89 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,138 Who? 90 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:09,434 Uh, uh, Izzy Gilleskie, one of the world's greatest violinists. 91 00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:12,395 Izzy? What are you talking about? You know Dizzy plays-- 92 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,314 [FOZZIE YELLS] 93 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,191 Oh! Why did you do that? 94 00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,735 Uh, Fozzie, why don't you take the noise inspector, 95 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:22,697 noise inspector LaBrea down to the canteen for a cup of coffee? 96 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:25,575 Gotcha. Got-- A-ha. 97 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,369 [WHISPERS] Uh, let's go sir. 98 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,995 -Yeah. -Gotcha. 99 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,372 [KERMIT HUMS] 100 00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,792 Okay, ladies and gentlemen, 101 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:36,878 one of the living legends of jazz is with us tonight. 102 00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:39,964 Uh, there's no sense talking about it when we could be listening. 103 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:43,176 Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Dizzy Gillespie! Yay! 104 00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:45,345 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 105 00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:49,933 [BAND PLAYING "ST. LOUISE BLUES"] 106 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:58,441 ♪ St. Louis woman with her diamond ring ♪ 107 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:05,990 ♪ She pull that man aroun' By her apron string ♪ 108 00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:12,330 ♪ 'Tweren't for powder An' her store-bought hair ♪ 109 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:19,796 ♪ Oh, that woman I love Wouldn't have gone nowhere ♪ 110 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,381 ♪ Nowhere ♪ 111 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:27,345 ♪ I hate to see evenin' sun go down ♪ 112 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:34,144 ♪ Hey, I hate to see evenin' sun go down ♪ 113 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:41,443 ♪ 'Cause my baby She done left this town ♪ 114 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,409 Watch it now. 115 00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:33,745 Go! 116 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,580 [SCATTING] 117 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,361 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 118 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,597 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 119 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:41,938 Well, what did you think of that, poopsie? 120 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,065 -Well, not too bad. -Mm-hm. 121 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:48,236 I can understand why you keep doing it week after week. 122 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:49,362 You can? 123 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:52,615 By the way, how much do they pay you? 124 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:54,701 Pay me? 125 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:55,827 Of course. 126 00:08:55,910 --> 00:09:01,541 Can you imagine some poor, stupid turkey doing this for nothing? 127 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,255 Gobble, gobble. 128 00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:09,299 [PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC] 129 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,807 Hey, do you know how to get to Carnegie Hall? 130 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:21,144 Practice, man. Practice. 131 00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:24,689 The old ones are the best ones. 132 00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,026 -Kermit? Kermit, hey, I'm sorry. -Hm? 133 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:30,236 I didn't know he was a noise inspector. 134 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,198 Oh, it's okay. He's perfectly safe down in the canteen. 135 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:37,118 That's what you think. The Chef is mashing potatoes on his anvil. 136 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:38,828 [CLANGING NEARBY] 137 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,581 [LaBREA SCREAMING] 138 00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,375 [CHEF SPEAKING GIBBERISH] 139 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:46,795 Man, I thought they'd never leave. 140 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,838 Yeah. Enough of these musician jokes. 141 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,341 That guy's an inspector. He's recording the show. 142 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:54,761 Hmm, groovy. Maybe we'll make the charts. 143 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:57,305 It's not that kind of recording. 144 00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,808 [PANTING] 145 00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:01,685 That guy's a maniac. 146 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,437 I know, but he doesn't make much noise. 147 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:05,605 [SHOUTS GIBBERISH] 148 00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:07,649 [POT CLANGS THEN NOISE ALARM WAILS] 149 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:16,074 [TIRES SCREECHING AND SIREN WAILING NEARBY] 150 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,326 [CRASHING] 151 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:21,246 Oh. Hey, man. What was that? 152 00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,456 B flat. 153 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,125 [PLAYS B FLAT NOTE] 154 00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:33,049 NARRATOR: And now, Veterinarian's Hospital, 155 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:39,097 the continuing story of a quack who's gone to the dogs. 156 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,557 [YAWNING] 157 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,393 Miss Piggy. I'm back, and you've gotta know: 158 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:46,563 I love you, I love you, I love you. 159 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:50,859 Only three times? Last week, you loved me four times. 160 00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,318 I've been sick. 161 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,989 Hey, just a minute. Are you back again? 162 00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:59,951 I've already taken out your appendix and your tonsils. What's the matter now? 163 00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,287 Dr. Bob, I love Miss Piggy. 164 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:03,496 I see. 165 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:06,124 Prepare the patient for brain surgery. 166 00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:10,128 Watch it, doc. This patient has good taste. 167 00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:12,839 Oh, yeah? Then, why does he have me for a doctor? 168 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:17,802 Brain surgery? Are you serious, Dr. Bob? 169 00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:19,554 No, I'm Comical Dr. Bob. 170 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:22,682 Serious Dr. Bob was my brother, the comedian. 171 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,186 You have a brother who is a comedian? 172 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:30,774 Well, I did, until he fell into a vat of molten optical glass. 173 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:31,858 What happened? 174 00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,651 He made a spectacle of himself. 175 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:39,657 Okay. Okay, this week, we will take out the patient's snew. 176 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:40,909 What's "snew?" 177 00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:43,286 Nothing. What's new with you? 178 00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:47,040 Ew. That's an old joke. 179 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,875 Yeah, well, it's snew to me. 180 00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:52,712 Hey, hey, Miss Piggy. Please tell me you love me, 181 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:55,006 because we've gotta stop meeting like this. 182 00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:56,132 Why? 183 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,343 I'm running out of vital organs. 184 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:03,431 NARRATOR: So we come to the end of another Veterinarian's Hospital. 185 00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:04,557 It's about time! 186 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,352 Tune in next time when we'll hear Dr. Bob say: 187 00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,354 Prepare for surgery. 188 00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:12,732 Dr. Bob, are you really going to remove his brain? 189 00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:14,943 No, something much more vital than that. 190 00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:17,320 -You mean...? -Yes, his wallet. 191 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,199 Yes. Here we go. 192 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,618 Ta-da. 193 00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:24,744 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 194 00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:29,416 Thank you. And now, ladies and gentlemen, here we present Geri and the Atrics! Yay! 195 00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,835 One, two, three, and... 196 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,004 [PLAYING "DO WAH DIDDY DIDDY"] 197 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:38,675 ♪ There he was Just a walking down the street singing ♪ 198 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,636 ♪ Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do ♪ 199 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:45,432 ♪ Poppin' his fingers And shufflin' his feet singing ♪ 200 00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:48,226 ♪ Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do ♪ 201 00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:49,853 -♪ He looked good ♪ -♪ Looked good ♪ 202 00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,730 -♪ He looked fine ♪ -♪ Looked fine ♪ 203 00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,648 ♪ He looked good He looked fine ♪ 204 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,525 ♪ And I nearly lost my mind ♪ 205 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:59,362 ♪ Before I knew it He was walking next to me singing ♪ 206 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:02,407 ♪ Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do ♪ 207 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:06,327 ♪ Holdin' my hand Just as natural as can be singing ♪ 208 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,997 ♪ Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do ♪ 209 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,790 -♪ We walked on ♪ -♪ Walked on ♪ 210 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:12,709 -♪ To my door ♪ -♪ My door ♪ 211 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,502 ♪ We walked on To my door ♪ 212 00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,338 ♪ Then we kissed a little more ♪ 213 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:23,553 ♪ I knew we were falling in love ♪ 214 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:30,435 ♪ Yes, I did and so I told him All the things I'd been dreamin' of ♪ 215 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,813 ♪ Now we're together Nearly every single day singing ♪ 216 00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:36,983 ♪ Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do ♪ 217 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:40,779 ♪ We are so happy, and that's how We're going to stay singing ♪ 218 00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:43,782 ♪ Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do ♪ 219 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,665 Here I go, Emmie. 220 00:13:57,712 --> 00:14:00,924 ♪ Now we're together Nearly every single day singing ♪ 221 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,593 ♪ Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do ♪ 222 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,428 -♪ Well, I'm his ♪ -♪ I'm his ♪ 223 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,055 -♪ He's mine ♪ -♪ He's mine ♪ 224 00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:10,934 ♪ I'm his and he's mine Wedding bells are gonna chime singing ♪ 225 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:14,354 ♪ Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do ♪ 226 00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:20,193 ♪ Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do ♪ 227 00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:23,738 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 228 00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:29,744 ♪ A one, a two ♪ 229 00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:31,204 ♪ A you know what to do ♪ 230 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,123 [PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC] 231 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,546 ♪ A little bit of dis A little bit of dat ♪ 232 00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:42,549 ♪ Makes a whole lotta heapa ♪ 233 00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:47,429 ♪ When you're puttin' out More'n you're takin' in ♪ 234 00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:48,930 Let me get this straight. 235 00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:51,558 ♪ A little bit of dis A little bit of dat ♪ 236 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:54,519 -♪ Makes a whole lotta heapa ♪ -♪ Don't it? ♪ 237 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:58,732 ♪ When you're puttin' out More than you're takin' in ♪ 238 00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:03,903 ♪ Let's go to bed Say sleepy head ♪ 239 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:07,032 ♪ Let's stay awhile Say slow ♪ 240 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:10,326 ♪ Let's put on the pot Say greedy gut ♪ 241 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,412 ♪ And eat before we go ♪ 242 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:21,546 Play it, brother. 243 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:24,090 [SCATTING] 244 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,397 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 245 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:33,201 Oh, honestly, Waldorf. I don't understand you. 246 00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,953 Why do you come here 247 00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:39,082 and put up with this irritating, mindless, incessant nonsense 248 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:42,711 when you could stay home with me? 249 00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:44,754 Eh, no comment. 250 00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:48,591 -LaBREA: Uh, Mr. Frog? -Ah. Ahem. 251 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:52,554 Mr. Frog, do you have a permit to keep livestock? 252 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:53,847 Uh, livestock? 253 00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:57,017 Uh, yes. When I was backstage, I noticed... Ahem. 254 00:16:57,100 --> 00:17:01,563 Sixteen chickens, six horses, four goats, eight hogs... 255 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,398 Excusez-moi. 256 00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:08,361 Kermie, may I speak with vous incognito? 257 00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:10,447 Uh, sure, wherever you want. 258 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:11,823 Excuse us a second. 259 00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:14,451 -Uh, yeah. Ahem. -What? 260 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,786 This the inspector you want me to charm? 261 00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:19,164 Yeah, but I don't think this is a good time. 262 00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:22,959 Oh, Kermie, mon cherie, do not worry about a thing. 263 00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:25,003 Ahem. Yoo-hoo! 264 00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:26,921 [GIGGLING] 265 00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:29,674 I do not believe that we have met. 266 00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:32,427 Uh, no, we haven't. I'm Inspector LaBrea. 267 00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:35,096 Ooh. Kermie, you silly. 268 00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:40,185 You did not tell me the inspector was such a handsome man. 269 00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:44,314 Uh, as you know, I am Miss Piggy. 270 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:47,984 Right. Add to that list, one sow. 271 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,654 What? 272 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:55,450 Sow. You know, rhymes with cow. Ha-ha-ha. 273 00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:56,534 Uh, Piggy-- 274 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:59,496 Oh, yeah? Rhyme this! Hi-yah! 275 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:02,707 [YELLS THEN NOISE ALARM WAILS] 276 00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:04,042 Oh, shut up. 277 00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:05,293 [ALARM STOPS] 278 00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:10,423 [PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC] 279 00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:19,683 ANIMAL: Yeah! 280 00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:23,478 Yeah! 281 00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:27,440 Hey! Hey you, down there! 282 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,150 Hey! 283 00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:32,612 Do you know there's a little old lady sleeping up here? 284 00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:35,990 No, but hum a few bars and we'll fake it. 285 00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:41,413 ♪ There's a little lady sleeping up here ♪ 286 00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:42,497 [TRUMPETS PLAY FANFARE] 287 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,624 Ta-da. Uh, thank you. 288 00:18:44,708 --> 00:18:47,168 And now, have I got good news for you. 289 00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:50,755 -That inspector is closing the show. -No. 290 00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:52,924 Then you don't have good news for us. 291 00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:55,343 Say, you're as bad as the two old geezers. 292 00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:58,638 Why not? She's a geezer-ess. 293 00:18:58,722 --> 00:18:59,764 [GRUNTS] 294 00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:02,684 Okay, so welcome, if you will, 295 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:07,522 The Muppet Show's own cute and clownish, cuddly king of comedy, Fozzie Bear! 296 00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:08,940 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 297 00:19:09,024 --> 00:19:10,650 Heya, heya, heya! 298 00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:13,403 Hi, wocka, wocka, wocka! Ah! 299 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:17,574 Hey, did you hear the one about the lady who went to the psychiatrist and said, 300 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:20,618 "Doctor, my husband thinks he's a refrigerator." 301 00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:25,165 And the doctor says, "Well, don't worry about it." And the woman said-- 302 00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:31,087 "I have to. He sleeps with his mouth open and the little light keeps me awake." 303 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,716 Very funny. 304 00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:38,970 Uh, yeah. Uh, moving right along. 305 00:19:39,054 --> 00:19:41,056 All right, same lady, right? Good. 306 00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:43,224 Goes in the psychiatrist's office, says, 307 00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:46,394 "Doctor, my husband thinks he's a transistor radio." 308 00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:50,398 And the doctor says, "Well, have him come in. We'll talk about it." 309 00:19:50,482 --> 00:19:51,608 And the woman says-- 310 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:55,236 "He can't talk. His batteries are dead." 311 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,907 Oh! Ha-ha-ha! Oh, this guys is a riot. 312 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:01,659 I am? 313 00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,870 -Let's hear it for Fozzie Bear! -Yay! 314 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,372 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 315 00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:07,082 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 316 00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:10,919 You've been a very funny audience. I've really enjoyed listening to you. 317 00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:13,213 What happened? Where did I go right? 318 00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:17,092 I thought he'd never leave. 319 00:20:18,802 --> 00:20:20,887 [PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC] 320 00:20:24,516 --> 00:20:26,309 Uh, excuse me. 321 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:29,396 Uh, cross town buses run all night? 322 00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:32,357 ♪ Doo-dah, doo-dah. ♪ 323 00:20:34,609 --> 00:20:36,569 Well, what's next on the show? 324 00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:39,531 Uh, just the closing musical number. 325 00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:43,451 No trumpets, right? Because if this thing goes off one more time-- 326 00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:45,829 I know, I know, you're gonna cancel the show. 327 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,372 No, it's just a, uh... 328 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:48,790 Well, it's, uh... 329 00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:52,043 It's just an encore by our violinist. 330 00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:55,588 Oh, yeah, yeah, good. Well, okay, I'm gonna stay here and watch him. 331 00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:56,715 [KERMIT GULPS] 332 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,759 -Right here? -Yeah, what's his name? Uh... 333 00:20:59,843 --> 00:21:02,429 Uh, Izzy something? Uh... 334 00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:05,557 Hm. No, in actuality, it's... 335 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,809 It's Dizzy Gillespie. 336 00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:10,395 Dizzy Gillespie? 337 00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:12,313 That's terrific! 338 00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:13,982 -It is? -Yeah! 339 00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:15,483 What? But he plays trumpet. 340 00:21:15,567 --> 00:21:19,320 He sure does. The guy's my all-time favorite. 341 00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:23,783 Hey, do me a favor. Let me sit in with him. I play a little saxophone. 342 00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:28,329 Gee, well, why, fine, if you'll forget your recorder there. 343 00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:30,665 Uh, what recorder? 344 00:21:30,749 --> 00:21:32,042 [CLATTERING] 345 00:21:34,878 --> 00:21:37,505 Okay, ladies and gentlemen, it's jazz time again. 346 00:21:37,589 --> 00:21:40,050 And joining our guest star on this final session 347 00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:43,928 is Inspector LaBrea, the swinging civil servant. Ahem. 348 00:21:44,012 --> 00:21:47,640 Uh, and here he is, our guest star with one of his great tunes, 349 00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:50,352 Mr. Dizzy Gillespie! Yay! 350 00:21:50,435 --> 00:21:52,520 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 351 00:21:55,565 --> 00:21:58,568 [SHOUTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 352 00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:00,445 [MUPPETS SHOUTING IN RHYTHM] 353 00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:02,572 [PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC] 354 00:22:16,044 --> 00:22:19,214 [MUPPETS VOCALIZING] 355 00:22:22,801 --> 00:22:25,887 ♪ Swing low, sweet Cadillac ♪ 356 00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:29,557 ♪ Comin' for to carry me home ♪ 357 00:22:29,641 --> 00:22:33,687 ♪ Swing low, sweet Cadillac ♪ 358 00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:37,023 ♪ Comin' for to carry me home ♪ 359 00:22:37,107 --> 00:22:40,902 ♪ I looked over Jordan And what did I see? ♪ 360 00:22:40,985 --> 00:22:43,196 ♪ Comin' for to carry me home ♪ 361 00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:48,118 ♪ Oh, an Eldorado comin' after me ♪ 362 00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:51,830 ♪ Comin' for to carry me home ♪ 363 00:24:01,066 --> 00:24:04,986 ♪ Swing low, sweet Cadillac ♪ 364 00:24:05,070 --> 00:24:08,198 ♪ Comin' for to carry me home ♪ 365 00:24:08,281 --> 00:24:12,160 ♪ Swing low, sweet Cadillac ♪ 366 00:24:12,243 --> 00:24:13,995 ♪ Comin' for to carry me home ♪ 367 00:24:14,079 --> 00:24:15,830 ♪ Going home, going home ♪ 368 00:24:16,706 --> 00:24:19,417 -♪ Heaven ♪ -♪ Heaven ♪ 369 00:24:21,169 --> 00:24:22,879 ♪ Heaven ♪ 370 00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,547 ♪ Heaven ♪ 371 00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:26,508 ♪ Heaven ♪ 372 00:24:26,591 --> 00:24:28,593 ♪ Heaven ♪ 373 00:24:28,677 --> 00:24:32,305 ♪ Now old Cadillacs never die ♪ 374 00:24:33,807 --> 00:24:36,017 ♪ The finance company just ♪ 375 00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:44,359 ♪ Fade 'em ♪ 376 00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:51,366 ♪ Away ♪ 377 00:24:51,449 --> 00:24:55,745 ANIMAL: Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 378 00:24:55,829 --> 00:24:57,914 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING AND CHEERING] 379 00:25:04,838 --> 00:25:07,549 Okay, well, we've done just about all we wanted to do 380 00:25:07,632 --> 00:25:10,176 except to say thank you to our very special guest star, 381 00:25:10,260 --> 00:25:12,679 ladies and gentlemen, one of the giants of jazz, 382 00:25:12,762 --> 00:25:16,266 Mr. Dizzy Gillespie! Yeah! 383 00:25:16,349 --> 00:25:18,435 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] 384 00:25:22,564 --> 00:25:28,153 Thank you, Kermit. And I want you to know how much I admire you frogs. 385 00:25:28,236 --> 00:25:31,031 -You admire us frogs? Why is that? -Yeah, yeah. 386 00:25:31,114 --> 00:25:33,158 Because you all can do this. 387 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,243 [KERMIT GASPS] 388 00:25:35,326 --> 00:25:36,911 I can't do that. 389 00:25:36,995 --> 00:25:40,290 All I can do is say we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show. 390 00:25:40,373 --> 00:25:41,708 How did you do that? 391 00:25:41,791 --> 00:25:43,460 [BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC] 392 00:25:43,543 --> 00:25:46,463 Oh, that's wonderful. 393 00:26:18,495 --> 00:26:19,579 BOTH: Boo! 394 00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:22,457 -[NOISE ALARM WAILING] -That does it. The show is canceled. 395 00:26:22,540 --> 00:26:25,543 BOTH: Yay! 29560

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