All language subtitles for The Muppet Show S02E01 Guest Don Knotts 1080p DSNP WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-LAZY_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,458 --> 00:00:01,751 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 2 00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,254 Don Knotts? Don Knotts? 3 00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:08,550 Oh. Twenty-five seconds to curtain, Mr. Knotts. 4 00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:11,052 What are you doing hiding there behind the table? 5 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:13,763 Listen, nobody told me I had to share a dressing room. 6 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:17,767 -Oh. Didn't they tell you about her? -Her? 7 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:22,522 What's the matter, sweetie? You don't like chorus girls? 8 00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:30,947 It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest star, Mr. Don Knotts. 9 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,116 [BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC] 10 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:47,130 ♪ It's time to play the music ♪ 11 00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,299 ♪ It's time to light the lights ♪ 12 00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:53,178 ♪ It's time to meet the Muppets On The Muppet Show tonight ♪ 13 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,805 ♪ It's time to put on makeup ♪ 14 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,974 ♪ It's time to dress up right ♪ 15 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,101 ♪ It's time to get things started ♪ 16 00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:06,775 ♪ It's time to get things started On the most sensational, inspirational ♪ 17 00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,860 ♪ Celebrational, Muppetational ♪ 18 00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:11,654 ♪ This is what we call ♪ 19 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:16,117 ♪ The Muppet Show ♪ 20 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,369 [HONKS] 21 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,497 Sorry. 22 00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:24,000 Thank you, thank you, thank you, 23 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,711 and welcome again to The Muppet Show. 24 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:29,714 Listen, our guest star tonight is the slightly nervous 25 00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:32,092 but very funny Mr. Don Knotts. 26 00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,802 But first, just for fun, 27 00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:36,888 here is a ginger-flavored opening number. 28 00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:40,100 [BAND PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC] 29 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:57,784 ♪ Feel like I'm made out of gingerbread ♪ 30 00:01:57,867 --> 00:02:01,037 CHORUS: ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 31 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,917 ♪ Crumb-picking, lip-licking gingerbread ♪ 32 00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:09,212 CHORUS: ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 33 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:14,634 ♪ Can't think about rainy weather now ♪ 34 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:18,805 ♪ I've finally got myself together now ♪ 35 00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:23,685 ♪ Fresh out of the pan Sweet gingerbread man ♪ 36 00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:32,110 ALL: ♪ Fresh out of the pan Sweet gingerbread man ♪ 37 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:53,506 ♪ Uh-huh ♪ 38 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:57,594 ♪ Uh-huh ♪ 39 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:09,773 ♪ Twirling a cane made of peppermint ♪ 40 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:12,984 CHORUS: ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 41 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:17,989 ♪ Nice, icky, hand-sticky peppermint ♪ 42 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:21,242 CHORUS: ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 43 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:26,790 ♪ Spun-sugary cloud I'm floating on ♪ 44 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:30,960 ♪ Sun's spreading my suit Of sugarcoating on ♪ 45 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:35,840 ♪ All tasty and tan Sweet gingerbread man ♪ 46 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:45,558 CHORUS: ♪ All tasty and tan Sweet gingerbread man ♪ 47 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:51,690 ♪ Fresh out of the pan Sweet gingerbread man ♪ 48 00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,073 -I know what's wrong with this show. -What? 49 00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:02,242 -It's the theater. -What's wrong with it? 50 00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:05,036 The seats face the stage. 51 00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:09,833 Thank you. Hi, hiya, hiya. Hey, hey, hey, listen. 52 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,711 Kermit is letting me help plan tonight's show. 53 00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:13,962 That's true, folks. 54 00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:17,007 He plans his parts, and I plan the good parts. 55 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:20,218 -Kermit! -I'm just kidding, Fozzie. 56 00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:23,054 -Go ahead, make your introduction. -Oh, okay. 57 00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,681 Moving right along, 58 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:27,475 we take you now for a trip into 59 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:30,562 [IN SPOOKY VOICE] inner space. 60 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,315 I'm very relaxed. 61 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:37,569 I'm terribly calm and tranquil 62 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:40,613 and very, very relaxed indeed. 63 00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:43,533 On the outside. But on the inside... 64 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,619 ♪ I'm like a circle in a spiral Like a wheel within a wheel ♪ 65 00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:49,831 ♪ I'm never ending nor beginning On an ever-spinning reel ♪ 66 00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:52,876 ♪ Just like a snowball down a mountain Or a carnival balloon ♪ 67 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,920 ♪ Or like a carousel that's turning Running rings around the moon ♪ 68 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:59,299 ♪ Like a clock whose hands are sweeping Past the minutes of its face ♪ 69 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:02,260 ♪ See that the world is like an apple Whirling silently in space ♪ 70 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:05,680 ♪ Just like the circles that you find They're in the windmills of your mind ♪ 71 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:08,600 ♪ Just like a tunnel that you follow To a tunnel of its own ♪ 72 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:11,644 ♪ Way down a hollow to a cavern Where the sun has never shone ♪ 73 00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,689 ♪ Just like a door that keeps revolving In a half-forgotten dream ♪ 74 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,609 ♪ Or like the ripples from a pebble Someone tosses in a stream ♪ 75 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:20,737 ♪ Like a clock whose hands are sweeping Past the minutes of its face ♪ 76 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,239 ♪ See that the world is like an apple Whirling silently in space ♪ 77 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,659 ♪ Just like the circles that you find They're in the windmills of your mind ♪ 78 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,995 ♪ There's a jingle in your pocket There's a jingle in your head ♪ 79 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:31,414 ♪ Why did summer go so quickly Was it something that you said? ♪ 80 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:34,084 ♪ See lovers walk along the shore And leave their footprints in the sand ♪ 81 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,586 ♪ Or is the sound of distant drumming Just the fingers of your hand? ♪ 82 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,047 ♪ See people streaming in the hallway See the fragment of a song ♪ 83 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,466 ♪ Half-remembered names and faces But to whom do they belong? ♪ 84 00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:43,760 ♪ 'Cause when you knew that it was over You were suddenly aware ♪ 85 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,388 ♪ Then that the autumn leaves were turning To the color of her hair ♪ 86 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,807 ♪ Just like a circle in a spiral Like a wheel within a wheel ♪ 87 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,892 ♪ Never ending nor beginning On an ever-spinning reel ♪ 88 00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:53,186 ♪ Just like those images of mind Just like the circles that you find ♪ 89 00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,730 ♪ They're in the windmill of your mind ♪ 90 00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:03,863 But on the outside, I'm very calm. 91 00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:06,032 [SCREAMING] 92 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,120 Well, how'd you like that opening number? 93 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,622 Hmm? Oh, I didn't notice it. 94 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:16,084 Didn't notice it? How is that possible? 95 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:20,130 It was loud and raucous, with a screaming thing running amok. Oh! 96 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,007 How could you not notice it? 97 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:25,135 Well, in the future, I'll try to be more observant. 98 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,303 [SCREAMING] 99 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,599 Would you do that, please? 100 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:34,728 [CRASH] 101 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:36,938 This is fun. 102 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:40,567 I wanna thank you for letting me help plan tonight's show. 103 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:44,529 I just wish we'd planned something calmer for the opening spot. 104 00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:46,614 He looks calm enough to me. 105 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:50,702 Okay, now it's time for something good to happen, 106 00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:54,039 and that something is tonight's very funny guest star. 107 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:58,418 Welcome, please, the very relaxed Mr. Don Knotts. 108 00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:09,262 Thank you, boys and girls, and welcome to Beast of the Week, 109 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:12,974 the program that presents the most hideous, repulsive 110 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:18,772 and disgusting animals in the world just to amuse you sweet little kiddies. 111 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:24,152 Tonight's creature was just discovered, so it doesn't even have a name yet. 112 00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,528 Shall we? 113 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:27,614 [CLEARS THROAT] 114 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,077 [SQUEAKING] 115 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,372 Oh, cute little fella, isn't it? Uh... 116 00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:38,500 This is the first one born in captivity, 117 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:42,420 and it's also the first time we've had it away from its mother. 118 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,007 So I don't know quite what to expect, 119 00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,635 so maybe we'll just learn together, huh? 120 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,472 [INHALES THEN GRUNTS] 121 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:57,394 Well, one thing we've just learned, it can get out of a cage, 122 00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:01,439 which I was told was absolutely escape-proof. 123 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,234 [DON STAMMERING & CREATURE SQUEAKING] 124 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:07,362 I'd better get him... Uh... 125 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:09,906 Oh. Uh, heh... 126 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,825 Oh, look at that. 127 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:16,663 He's found something shaped like himself. I believe he thinks they're related. 128 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:20,458 Isn't that cute, boys and girls? He's trying to make friends. 129 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,293 [CREATURE SNARLS] 130 00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,922 No, uh, not trying to make friends. 131 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,591 He's... I'll just, uh, get the globe. 132 00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:31,428 [CREATURE SNARLING] 133 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,221 [SCREAMS] 134 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:34,597 [STAMMERING] 135 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:35,932 Help! Uh... 136 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,600 I could use some help! 137 00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,733 [YELPING] 138 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:47,527 [CREATURE CONTINUES SNARLING] 139 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,487 -Aah! -Yoo-hoo! 140 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,490 [CREATURE YELPS] 141 00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:54,576 [GRUNTING] 142 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,494 Where'd it go? 143 00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:57,620 Where'd...? 144 00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,789 [CREATURE CHITTERING] 145 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:06,004 This is where my years of training as a zookeeper pay off. 146 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,964 You notice I don't make any sudden moves. 147 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,133 [CREATURE SQUEAKING] 148 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:15,096 He's getting less frightened of me. I guess it likes me. 149 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,389 [CREATURE SLURPING] 150 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,391 Stop--! That tickles! 151 00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:21,478 -Ahhh. Ahh. -It's blowing in my ear. 152 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,064 Ah. 153 00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,024 [STAMMERING] 154 00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:27,942 Ah, gotcha. 155 00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,277 [SIGHS] 156 00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:31,654 Well, boys and girls, 157 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:35,116 uh, that about wraps up tonight's Beast of the Week. 158 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:39,746 We've got to get this little fella back to its mother before she wakes up. 159 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:43,249 You see, the mother is very possessive of its offspring, 160 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:47,295 and if she should discover it missing, she could get very upset-- 161 00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,798 [DEEP GROWLING NEARBY] 162 00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:53,051 -What's that? CREATURE: Mama. 163 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:58,348 Mother? How could that be? She's in a cage. It's escape-proof. 164 00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:01,267 [ROARING] 165 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:06,272 [DON YELLS] 166 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,864 Well, that Don Knotts is one great performer. 167 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,992 He certainly is. When is he gonna be on? 168 00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:21,162 -He was just on. -Oh. Did I like him? 169 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,790 -Yeah, you laughed like crazy. -Oh, good. 170 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:28,503 He's got a great sense of humor but a terrible memory. 171 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,341 Fozzie, you're so hip you make us flip. 172 00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:34,926 In fact, we took a vote 173 00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:37,971 and made you a bona fide registered Hip Dude. 174 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:40,056 You have won your shades. 175 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,641 My shades! 176 00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:46,521 Yeah, now, these are the official "Charlie Parker lives" cool sunglasses. 177 00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:50,316 -Ah. Thank you. -Yeah. Welcome to groovydom. 178 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:54,904 Oh. Oh, will you please tell the band how honored I am? 179 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:59,117 Oh, boy, I can't wait to tell Kermit. Kermit! 180 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,747 NARRATOR: And now Veterinarian's Hospital, 181 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:10,253 the continuing story of a quack who's gone to the dogs. 182 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:14,090 Let's take a look at our next patient. What seems to be his problem? 183 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,551 I think he has flat feet, Dr. Bob. 184 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,887 Looks more like a flat tire to me. 185 00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:21,014 I think it's a case of three left feet. 186 00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,223 [ALL LAUGH] 187 00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:25,101 Three feet, Dr. Bob. What do you make of that? 188 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,270 Oh, about a yard. 189 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,440 But is it serious, Dr. Bob? 190 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:33,651 Let's face it, this bird has one foot in the grave. 191 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,904 But he has three feet on the table. 192 00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:39,074 That's nothing. I left two feet in Cincinnati. Ha! 193 00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:42,327 That's six feet, Dr. Bob. What do you make of that? 194 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,746 Oh, about a fathom. 195 00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:48,500 I certainly can't fathom any of this. 196 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:53,213 NARRATOR: And so Dr. Bob has performed another amazing medical feat. 197 00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:56,508 Tune in next week, when we'll hear Nurse Piggy say: 198 00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:59,135 Shall we call in a specialist, Dr. Bob? 199 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,221 No, just call a tow truck. 200 00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:06,267 -Tickle, tickle, tickle. -Ooh, don't tickle! 201 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,731 ♪ I'm Bert ♪ 202 00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:14,734 ♪ Perhaps you've heard of me Bert ♪ 203 00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:19,072 ♪ You've had word of me jogging along Hearty and strong ♪ 204 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,783 ♪ Living on plates of fresh air ♪ 205 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:24,911 ♪ I dress up in fashion ♪ 206 00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:27,872 ♪ And when I am feeling depressed ♪ 207 00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:30,875 ♪ I shave from my cuff All the whiskers and fluff ♪ 208 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:34,004 ♪ Stick my hat on and toddle up West ♪ 209 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:37,215 ♪ I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at 10:30 ♪ 210 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:40,427 ♪ And saunter along like a toff ♪ 211 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:43,680 ♪ I walk down the Strand With my gloves on my hand ♪ 212 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,558 ♪ Then I walk down again with them off ♪ 213 00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:49,936 ♪ I'm all airs and graces Correct easy paces ♪ 214 00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:52,939 ♪ Without food so long I forgot where my face is ♪ 215 00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:55,984 ♪ I'm Bert, Bert I haven't a shirt ♪ 216 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:59,070 ♪ But my people are well off, you know ♪ 217 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:02,532 ♪ Nearly everyone knows me From Smith to Lord Rosebury ♪ 218 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,618 ♪ I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow ♪ 219 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:10,790 ♪ My pose, though ironical, shows ♪ 220 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:15,211 ♪ That my monocle holds up my face Keeps it in place ♪ 221 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:18,131 ♪ Stops it from slipping away ♪ 222 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:21,468 ♪ Cigars I smoke thousands ♪ 223 00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:24,512 ♪ I usually deal in the Strand ♪ 224 00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:27,474 ♪ But you've got to take care When you're getting them there ♪ 225 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:30,185 ♪ Or some idiot might stand on your hand ♪ 226 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:33,980 ♪ Oh, I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at 10:30 ♪ 227 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:37,067 ♪ Then Buckingham Palace I view ♪ 228 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:40,195 ♪ I stand in the yard While they're changing the guard ♪ 229 00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:43,365 ♪ And the king shouts across "Toodle-oo" ♪ 230 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:46,785 ♪ The Prince of Wales' brother Along with some other ♪ 231 00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:49,788 ♪ Slaps me on the back and says "Come and see Mother" ♪ 232 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:52,916 ♪ I'm Bert, Bert The royalty's hurt ♪ 233 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,835 ♪ When they ask me to dine I say no ♪ 234 00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:59,255 ♪ I've just had a banana With Lady Diana ♪ 235 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:02,759 ♪ I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow ♪ 236 00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:14,062 Hmm. 237 00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:18,525 Strange. Fozzie told me to meet him here and we could chat for a while. 238 00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,151 [CRASHING NEARBY] 239 00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:21,820 FOZZIE: Ah, oh. Oh, ooh. 240 00:14:21,903 --> 00:14:22,987 Uh, sorry, lady. 241 00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:26,533 Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 242 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,410 -Hi, Fozzie. -Aah! Ah. Oh. 243 00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:31,830 Oh, hello, Don. Good to see you. 244 00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:34,374 -Good to see you too. -Aah! 245 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,459 Oh. Oh, hi, Don. Didn't see you. 246 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,753 Oh. Why don't you take off the sunglasses? 247 00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,422 Oh, I couldn't do that. 248 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:44,259 The band gave me these because they think I am so hip. 249 00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:46,177 Oh, I see. 250 00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:49,139 Confidentially, I always wanted to be hip. 251 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,432 -Oh, yeah? -Yeah. 252 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:53,018 Personally, I've never had that problem. 253 00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:55,478 -Oh, yeah. -Ah, you know how it is. 254 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,106 When you got it, you got it. When you're hip, you're hip. 255 00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:00,608 -You know what I mean? -Yeah. 256 00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:04,904 Uh, Don, if you're so hip, where are your shades? 257 00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:08,158 Shades? You want shades, I'll show you shades. 258 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,826 Look at that, huh? 259 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,787 -How's that? Cool? What do you say? -Ah! 260 00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:14,789 -How about that, huh? -Yeah. 261 00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:16,875 -Good to see you. -That's my man. 262 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:18,376 That's my bear. Give me five. 263 00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:21,671 Whatever, all right, yeah! 264 00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:24,883 Yeah. 265 00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:26,259 [DON CRASHES & YELLS] 266 00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:28,219 Don, Don, Don! 267 00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:30,597 [FOZZIE CRASHES & YELLS] 268 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:35,060 [BAND PLAYING TRANQUIL JAZZ MUSIC] 269 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:44,235 ♪ I see trees of green Red roses too ♪ 270 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:51,117 ♪ I see them bloom for me and you ♪ 271 00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:53,661 ♪ And I think to myself ♪ 272 00:15:56,206 --> 00:16:00,251 ♪ What a wonderful world ♪ 273 00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:11,680 ♪ I see skies of blue And clouds of white ♪ 274 00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:18,687 ♪ The bright sunny day And the dark cloudy night ♪ 275 00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,939 ♪ And I think to myself ♪ 276 00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:27,195 ♪ What a wonderful world ♪ 277 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:39,040 ♪ The colors of the rainbow So pretty in the sky ♪ 278 00:16:39,124 --> 00:16:45,630 ♪ Are also on the faces Of people going by ♪ 279 00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:52,554 ♪ I see friends shaking hands Saying, "How do you do?" ♪ 280 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:59,686 ♪ They're really saying "I love you" ♪ 281 00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:06,776 ♪ I hear puppies cry I watch you grow ♪ 282 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:13,908 ♪ Why, you'll learn much more Than I'll ever know ♪ 283 00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:16,369 ♪ And I think to myself ♪ 284 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:22,834 ♪ What a wonderful world ♪ 285 00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:30,091 ♪ Yes, I think to myself ♪ 286 00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:38,058 ♪ What a wonderful world ♪ 287 00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:50,945 [BAND PLAYING JAUNTY FOLK MUSIC] 288 00:17:51,029 --> 00:17:53,114 [SINGING IN GIBBERISH] 289 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,789 ♪ Mm, bork, bork, bork ♪ 290 00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:05,168 [SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH] 291 00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:11,883 ...a fishy chowder...the fishy chowder, we have the fishy fish. 292 00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:13,218 Fishy, fishy... 293 00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,387 [CONTINUES SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH] 294 00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:46,626 [YELLING IN MUFFLED VOICE] 295 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:53,550 Mm. 296 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:57,178 [SPEAKING IN GIBBERISH] 297 00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:59,264 [GROANING] 298 00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:01,683 What's wrong with you? 299 00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:04,894 Ugh. It's either this show or indigestion. 300 00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:07,188 -I hope it's indigestion. -Why? 301 00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:10,650 -It'll get better in a little while. -Oh. 302 00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:14,237 -Fozzie, my fuzzy. -Hey. 303 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,489 Hey, everything is everything. 304 00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:18,491 -Whatever. Hey. -Mm-hm. 305 00:19:18,575 --> 00:19:20,452 -I was just wondering... -Yeah. 306 00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:23,788 ...how you were enjoying your new title as official Hip Dude. 307 00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:26,541 -Oh, I love it. I love the title. -Hmm. 308 00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,877 Just wish it came with a flashlight. 309 00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:32,672 Well, that's it for another show. 310 00:19:32,756 --> 00:19:35,675 I'd like to thank the guy who helped me plan tonight's merriment, 311 00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:37,218 good old Fozzie Bear. 312 00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:38,845 Uh, hoo-ha, hello? 313 00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:41,222 -[STAMMERING] Hello? Hello, hello? -Foz-- 314 00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:42,807 [FOZZIE CRASHES & YELLS] 315 00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:45,018 You went too far, Fozzie. 316 00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:47,354 Anyhow, and, of course, our very special guest star, 317 00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:50,607 the wonderful Mr. Don Knotts! 318 00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:55,070 Thank you. Thank you, Kermit. 319 00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:56,696 Wherever you are. 320 00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:57,781 -Mm-hm. -Yeah. 321 00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:01,659 You have been officially and permanently de-shaded. 322 00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:04,412 -Take off your peepholes. -Oh, no. 323 00:20:04,496 --> 00:20:07,290 Oh, don't worry, Fozzie. Always remember: 324 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,626 Square is beautiful. 325 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:13,338 -You bet. -I'll see that bet and raise you 5. 326 00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:14,464 That's it for tonight. 327 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:17,050 We'll see you all next time on The Muppet Show! 328 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:19,844 FOZZIE: Ah! -Hey, yeah. 329 00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:22,013 [ALL CHATTERING] 330 00:20:22,097 --> 00:20:24,182 [BAND PLAYING THEME MUSIC] 331 00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:04,222 -This show is awful. -Terrible. 332 00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:05,724 -Disgusting. -See you next week? 333 00:21:05,807 --> 00:21:07,183 Of course. 26152

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