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1
00:00:03,266 --> 00:00:05,150
FRAN:
So, Gracie, are you excited
2
00:00:05,183 --> 00:00:07,250
about your play datewith Willie?
3
00:00:07,283 --> 00:00:09,483
I think Willie just wants me
for my toys.
4
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:13,316
Oh, sweetie, you might as well
get used to it.
5
00:00:13,350 --> 00:00:15,383
You're gonna be guarding your
toys for the rest of your life.
6
00:00:17,283 --> 00:00:19,216
Well, we're off.
7
00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:21,183
First game of the
Broadway Show League.
8
00:00:21,216 --> 00:00:26,330
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
don't you look adorable.
9
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,133
Gee, I don't think I've ever
seen you in jeans before.
10
00:00:28,166 --> 00:00:29,350
Oh.
Wait a minute.
11
00:00:29,383 --> 00:00:30,483
Turn around.
I think you got a rip.
12
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:32,200
No, no.
Looking good.
13
00:00:37,330 --> 00:00:38,316
Let's get going, Dad.
I wanna warm up
before we play.
14
00:00:38,350 --> 00:00:40,466
Oh, what's your rush?
I've been to those games.
15
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,333
Whose idea was it
to have Nell Carter
16
00:00:42,366 --> 00:00:44,200
try and beat out a bunt?
17
00:00:44,233 --> 00:00:46,483
[LAUGHS]
18
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,830
Fran, we're playing against
Children of a Lesser God.
19
00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:51,266
Their hand signals are awesome.
20
00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:54,300
So's the guy on first base.
Oh.
21
00:00:54,333 --> 00:00:57,400
Oh, give it up, Maggie.
They're deaf, not blind.
22
00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:59,250
Here, what's this
hand signal mean?
23
00:00:59,283 --> 00:01:00,100
Ouch!
24
00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:03,283
Well, Brighton's playing sports.
25
00:01:03,316 --> 00:01:05,660
I accept tips.
[SIGHS]
26
00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:06,300
Please, the only reason
he's on the team
27
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:09,100
is a chance of seeing
Margaret trying to run.
28
00:01:09,133 --> 00:01:11,433
Oh, now, don't you
go making fun.
29
00:01:11,466 --> 00:01:14,233
I've seen you break into a trot.
30
00:01:14,266 --> 00:01:16,450
You got a littleNutty Professor
thing happening yourself.
31
00:01:16,483 --> 00:01:19,450
[CLEARS THROAT]
Yes, well, all right.
Time to play ball.
32
00:01:19,483 --> 00:01:21,000
Bye, sweetheart.
Have fun--
33
00:01:21,330 --> 00:01:21,383
Oh, you're talking to Grace.
34
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,200
Master Willie is here
with his nanny.
35
00:01:26,233 --> 00:01:29,160
Oh, now, honey,
you go make an entrance,
36
00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:30,483
and check yourself
like I taught ya.
37
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,100
[SNIFFS]
38
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:32,450
I'm fine.
39
00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:37,333
Miss Fine, you might
want to get dressed
40
00:01:37,366 --> 00:01:39,660
for this particular
nanny.
41
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:42,330
Oh, why? What,
is she all snazzed up?
42
00:01:42,660 --> 00:01:44,250
One of those
Park Avenue nannies
43
00:01:44,283 --> 00:01:47,266
withway
on her hands?
44
00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:50,330
Oh, look,Planet of the Apes
is on at 4:00.
45
00:01:52,166 --> 00:01:54,183
Hi, I'm Kurt,
Willie's nanny.
46
00:01:54,216 --> 00:01:56,330
Oh, hi, I'm Fran.
How you doin'?
47
00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:57,433
Good. Okay if
I use the phone?
48
00:01:57,466 --> 00:01:59,266
Oh, yeah, sure.
Just pick up line two.
49
00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:00,316
I'm on line one
with my mother.
50
00:02:00,350 --> 00:02:01,183
Ah.
51
00:02:03,830 --> 00:02:04,166
Uh-huh.
52
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,416
What are you doing?
53
00:02:09,450 --> 00:02:11,450
Oh, I thought there might be
something wrong with your eyes.
54
00:02:11,483 --> 00:02:13,450
A handsome man just walked
through the door,
55
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,133
and you didn't do your usual,
subtle Hanna-Barbera reaction.
56
00:02:18,316 --> 00:02:21,133
Heart pounding
through your thorax,
57
00:02:21,166 --> 00:02:24,500
tongue unfurling
and landing on the floor.
58
00:02:24,830 --> 00:02:26,300
Niles, please.
The man's gay.
59
00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:30,000
Now, how do you know that?
60
00:02:30,330 --> 00:02:31,133
You barely spoke two words
to each other.
61
00:02:31,166 --> 00:02:33,366
Oh, well, first of all,
62
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,500
I was instantly
attracted to him,
63
00:02:36,830 --> 00:02:39,133
which means he's
definitely unavailable.
64
00:02:39,166 --> 00:02:41,216
Plus, did you see
that upper body?
65
00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:43,250
Trust me, he's either gay
or a priest with a Soloflex.
66
00:02:46,830 --> 00:02:48,400
Miss Fine, you're mad.
- Oh, yeah?
67
00:02:48,433 --> 00:02:51,233
All right, well, watch this,
Mr. Know-It-All.
68
00:02:51,266 --> 00:02:56,116
Kurt, who understudied
Carol Channing inDolly?
69
00:02:56,150 --> 00:02:57,433
KURT:
Jo Anne Worley.
70
00:02:57,466 --> 00:02:58,383
Hello.
71
00:03:02,830 --> 00:03:04,266
[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]
72
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,160
♪ She was workin'
In a bridal shop ♪
73
00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:07,266
♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪
74
00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:08,466
♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪
75
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,183
♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪
76
00:03:10,216 --> 00:03:12,660
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪
77
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:15,433
♪ She was out on her fanny ♪
78
00:03:15,466 --> 00:03:16,416
♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪
79
00:03:16,450 --> 00:03:18,350
♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪
80
00:03:18,383 --> 00:03:21,150
♪ She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more ♪
81
00:03:21,183 --> 00:03:23,830
♪ She had style, she had flair
She was there ♪
82
00:03:23,116 --> 00:03:27,100
♪ That's how she became
The nanny ♪
83
00:03:27,133 --> 00:03:29,433
♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪
84
00:03:29,466 --> 00:03:32,100
♪ Was just exactly what
The doctor prescribed? ♪
85
00:03:32,133 --> 00:03:33,116
♪ Now the father
Finds her beguiling ♪
86
00:03:33,150 --> 00:03:34,383
♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪
87
00:03:34,416 --> 00:03:35,483
♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪
88
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,100
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
89
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,400
♪ She's the lady in red ♪
90
00:03:38,433 --> 00:03:41,116
♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪
91
00:03:43,150 --> 00:03:44,483
♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪
92
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:45,300
♪ The nanny named Fran ♪
93
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,300
I can never get Willie to
take a nap. You're
amazing.
94
00:03:51,333 --> 00:03:53,183
I'm telling you,
turkey makes you tired.
95
00:03:55,350 --> 00:03:58,450
Why do you think they serve it
at Thanksgiving?
96
00:03:58,483 --> 00:04:01,300
How else can you spend eight
hours with your entire family
97
00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:02,316
unless half of them
pass out?
98
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:07,183
Oh, what I wouldn't give
for Jimmy Smits' body.
99
00:04:07,216 --> 00:04:09,233
Hey, you and me both.
100
00:04:09,266 --> 00:04:11,160
Meanwhile,
I watch and watch.
101
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:12,000
The only one taking a shower
is Dennis Franz.
102
00:04:14,350 --> 00:04:16,000
Can you believe David Caruso
left that show?
103
00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:17,333
Oh, actors, huh?
104
00:04:17,366 --> 00:04:18,400
I'm an actor.
105
00:04:18,433 --> 00:04:21,483
Smart, very smart.
106
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:23,366
Is it okay if I use
the phone again?
107
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:24,466
My agent asked me
to call him.
108
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,333
Absolutely.
Maybe you got a job.
109
00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:28,366
Nah, he's just a sadist.
110
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,400
But, then, I'm addicted
to rejection,
111
00:04:30,433 --> 00:04:32,250
so we both get a kick.
It's...
112
00:04:32,283 --> 00:04:33,830
[LAUGHS]
113
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:38,333
Oh, look who's home.
How'd the game go?
114
00:04:38,366 --> 00:04:41,183
Oh, it depends if you're
on our team or theirs.
115
00:04:41,216 --> 00:04:43,233
Maxwell,
it wasn't my fault.
116
00:04:43,266 --> 00:04:45,466
I couldn't understand
your signals.
117
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,433
C.C., how many things
can this mean?
118
00:04:47,466 --> 00:04:49,150
Run!
119
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:53,150
Next time, try yelling,
"Last call."
120
00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:56,500
Oh, Niles.
121
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,660
Dear, sweet,
122
00:04:58,100 --> 00:05:01,660
"I manage your pension plan"
Niles.
123
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:02,330
May I get you some tea?
124
00:05:04,350 --> 00:05:06,116
You know, I don't
mind
that we lost.
125
00:05:06,150 --> 00:05:08,116
I mean, at least
I made it to first
base.
126
00:05:08,150 --> 00:05:09,483
You never even made it
out of the dugout.
127
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:11,330
I know.
128
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,350
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
Mr. Sheffield, wait a minute.
129
00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:17,160
I think you got
some grass stains there.
130
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:18,150
No, no.
Looking good.
131
00:05:23,216 --> 00:05:26,433
Oh, Mr. Sheffield.
Kurt Jacobs.
132
00:05:26,466 --> 00:05:28,333
I was the understudy
in your production ofEquus.
133
00:05:28,366 --> 00:05:30,316
Oh, Kurt.
Yes, of course.
134
00:05:30,350 --> 00:05:32,000
Didn't recognize you
without the big horse head.
135
00:05:32,330 --> 00:05:32,416
[CHUCKLES]
136
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,433
Hello, Kurt.
137
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:38,150
Remember me?
C.C. Babcock.
138
00:05:38,183 --> 00:05:39,300
No.
139
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,183
I'm the producer
who hired you?
140
00:05:43,216 --> 00:05:45,200
Oh, right,
right, right!
141
00:05:45,233 --> 00:05:47,450
You, uh--
You cut your hair.
142
00:05:47,483 --> 00:05:48,350
Hey, it looks really fabulous--
- Knock it off, Kurt.
143
00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:52,200
So how are you?
Are you working?
144
00:05:52,233 --> 00:05:53,316
Yes. I'm a nanny.
145
00:05:53,350 --> 00:05:55,233
Oh, how awful for you.
146
00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:59,166
[CHUCKLING]
Oh.
147
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,383
Oh, for a minute there,
148
00:06:00,416 --> 00:06:02,216
I almost took that
the wrong way.
149
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,433
So, Kurt, you're a nanny, huh?
150
00:06:08,466 --> 00:06:10,266
Well, that's wonderful.
151
00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:13,100
You know, children are
our greatest resource.
152
00:06:13,133 --> 00:06:14,216
MAGGIE: Daddy!
- Not now, Margaret.
I'm talking to our guest.
153
00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:20,330
Well, it's been
nice talking to you.
154
00:06:22,330 --> 00:06:24,483
So come on, you wanna watch
a littleAll My Children?
155
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,160
Gee, I hope it was okay to
tape
it over this movie tape.
156
00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:29,150
"Brighton Learns to Walk."
157
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,400
Isn't that funny?
158
00:06:33,433 --> 00:06:35,233
I never even heard
that name, Brighton,
159
00:06:35,266 --> 00:06:36,183
until I started working--
[GASPS]
160
00:06:41,466 --> 00:06:43,466
Hey, look who's up.
161
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,183
Wow, you guys really nodded off.
162
00:06:46,216 --> 00:06:48,160
Can we go see
The Lion King
163
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:49,350
Oh, I'm sorry,
sweetie.
164
00:06:49,383 --> 00:06:51,100
You're a little late.
165
00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:53,250
The two of you slept
right through the last show.
166
00:06:53,283 --> 00:06:55,183
Besides, I gothakunas
coming out of mymatatas.
167
00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:59,133
It's only playing
at one theater?
168
00:06:59,166 --> 00:07:01,383
Yes. All the parents
got together and insisted.
169
00:07:05,233 --> 00:07:07,100
Well, come on.
Don't go anywhere.
170
00:07:07,133 --> 00:07:09,233
We're gonna watch
All My Children.
171
00:07:09,266 --> 00:07:10,233
Hey, listen, I haven't seen
this soap in seven months.
172
00:07:10,266 --> 00:07:12,330
Catch me up.
173
00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:14,000
Well, they're still
at Erica's party...
174
00:07:16,166 --> 00:07:19,316
and the new guy slept
with what's-her-face's
sister.
175
00:07:19,350 --> 00:07:21,660
P.S., she's late,
which means she's pregnant.
176
00:07:26,283 --> 00:07:27,416
Did you hear what they said?
177
00:07:27,450 --> 00:07:29,416
What?
178
00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:31,416
I was late forThe Lion King
because we slept together.
179
00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:33,150
So?
180
00:07:33,183 --> 00:07:34,416
So?
P.S., I'm pregnant!
181
00:07:37,266 --> 00:07:38,466
I'd better get a job.
182
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,150
Miss Fine not back yet?
183
00:07:48,183 --> 00:07:50,383
Oh, no, sir, she and Kurt
went to the movies
184
00:07:50,416 --> 00:07:52,333
and then for cappuccinos
in Greenwich Village.
185
00:07:52,366 --> 00:07:53,433
You think they might
have got lost?
186
00:07:53,466 --> 00:07:55,433
Oh, no, sir.
187
00:07:55,466 --> 00:07:57,333
I think Kurt knows his way
around cappuccino country.
188
00:07:59,266 --> 00:08:02,100
[LAUGHING]
189
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:05,100
Oh, Kurt, stop it.
I can't laugh anymore.
190
00:08:05,133 --> 00:08:08,383
Oh, he does Meryl Streep
inOut of Africa.
191
00:08:08,416 --> 00:08:10,450
It's to die for.
Do it.
192
00:08:10,483 --> 00:08:13,400
"I had a farm inArfrica--"
Well, he does it better.
193
00:08:16,433 --> 00:08:18,233
Fran, I think Mr. Sheffield
has already seen me overact.
194
00:08:18,266 --> 00:08:20,150
[CHUCKLES]
195
00:08:20,183 --> 00:08:21,466
I guess I could do it
for you if you want...
196
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:22,333
But I won't.
197
00:08:24,466 --> 00:08:26,183
Meet you upstairs, Fran.
198
00:08:26,216 --> 00:08:28,216
Okay. I'll be up
in a few minutes.
199
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,466
Kurt's gonna help me decide
what clothes to return.
200
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,500
Visa raised my limit.
Well, I showed them.
201
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:36,400
I hope you don't mind.
202
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,400
I know your rule about
men in my room.
203
00:08:38,433 --> 00:08:41,133
Oh, well, Miss Fine, it's
a little different with Kurt.
204
00:08:41,166 --> 00:08:44,150
He's more like your friend, Val,
only with five o'clock shadow.
205
00:08:44,183 --> 00:08:46,150
[LAUGHS] You've
never seen Val at 5:00.
206
00:08:48,483 --> 00:08:50,466
Oh, I'll tell you,
207
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:54,830
it is just so easy
being with Kurt.
208
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:55,450
I mean,
I don't have to act
209
00:08:55,483 --> 00:08:58,266
like I give a damn
about the Super Bowl,
210
00:08:58,300 --> 00:09:01,160
and wherever we go,
we go Dutch treat.
211
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:04,216
Although that part
I could live without.
212
00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:07,100
But on the upside, I can eat
a side of beef in front of him
213
00:09:07,133 --> 00:09:08,500
and belch up a hoof.
214
00:09:14,216 --> 00:09:16,350
Wanna hand me a plate?
Oh.
215
00:09:16,383 --> 00:09:19,166
Well, I think you two
are ideally suited.
216
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,183
You're both charming,
outgoing people,
217
00:09:21,216 --> 00:09:22,416
terrifically preoccupied
with your appearance.
218
00:09:22,450 --> 00:09:25,333
Oh, I know, I know.
219
00:09:25,366 --> 00:09:28,416
We both just get right down
to what's important.
220
00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:30,166
I'll tell you,
if he was straight,
221
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,330
I'd bring him home
to my mother.
222
00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:36,350
There's something I'm sure
he can be grateful for.
223
00:09:36,383 --> 00:09:40,133
[SIGHS] Oh, I'll tell you,
it's just the story of my life.
224
00:09:40,166 --> 00:09:43,116
I mean, we can have such
a beautiful future together.
225
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,450
We both want the same things.
226
00:09:44,483 --> 00:09:45,366
Except one.
227
00:09:48,233 --> 00:09:50,133
No, actually, we both
want that thing too.
228
00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:59,660
Well, I know this one's
going back.
229
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,366
Wait a second.
Didn't you wear that
yesterday?
230
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,660
Yeah, but I
didn't
break a sweat.
231
00:10:05,316 --> 00:10:09,100
So tell me, is your mother
a natural blond too?
232
00:10:09,133 --> 00:10:11,366
Uh...yeah.
233
00:10:14,830 --> 00:10:15,350
Fran, look at this.
I gotta shave again.
234
00:10:15,383 --> 00:10:18,216
I'm telling you something,
you women have it easy.
235
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:21,333
Oh, honey, talk to me when
you've got a tongue depressor
236
00:10:21,366 --> 00:10:23,150
full of hot beeswax
coming at your bikini line.
237
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,300
Ta-da.
238
00:10:26,333 --> 00:10:28,316
Oh, now, this is fabulous.
239
00:10:28,350 --> 00:10:29,400
Yeah? Zip me up.
240
00:10:29,433 --> 00:10:30,483
Lots of easy access too.
241
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,366
Oh, good.
242
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,450
And I wasn't sure if the
message
would get across.
243
00:10:34,483 --> 00:10:38,000
This shows off all
my most sensitive areas.
244
00:10:38,330 --> 00:10:42,160
Here, here, here, here--
245
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:44,150
Well, almost all
my most sensitive areas.
246
00:10:44,183 --> 00:10:45,383
[BOTH GIGGLE]
247
00:10:45,416 --> 00:10:48,133
Hey... remember those puzzles
248
00:10:48,166 --> 00:10:49,366
where you had to
connect the dots?
249
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,200
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, oh...
250
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:54,316
Oh, stop it, Kurt.
I'm very ticklish. [GIGGLES]
251
00:10:54,350 --> 00:10:56,433
Sort of like
those collage boards
252
00:10:56,466 --> 00:10:58,383
where you had to
fill in the dots.
253
00:11:05,183 --> 00:11:07,283
Kurt...
Mm-hm?
254
00:11:07,316 --> 00:11:10,160
What's tiramisu?
255
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:11,433
I have no idea.
256
00:11:11,466 --> 00:11:14,660
Oh, my God!
You're not gay?!
257
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,400
You're straight?
What?
258
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,300
Oh, I can't believe this!
259
00:11:25,333 --> 00:11:27,300
Oh, this dress is going back.
260
00:11:27,333 --> 00:11:28,350
It's too slutty,
even for me.
261
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,500
When did you find out
you were straight?
262
00:11:34,383 --> 00:11:36,000
And does your mother know?
263
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,233
What'd she do?
Dress you in boys' clothes?
264
00:11:42,350 --> 00:11:45,383
Fran, come out of the closet.
265
00:11:45,416 --> 00:11:48,366
No. You go back
into the closet.
266
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:52,316
I cannot believe I told you
what I do for yeast infections.
267
00:11:52,350 --> 00:11:55,316
I poured Correctol
in front of you.
268
00:11:55,350 --> 00:11:58,183
[SCREAMS]
269
00:11:58,216 --> 00:11:59,350
You saw me
without makeup on!
270
00:12:02,166 --> 00:12:05,350
Fran, look, if you liked me
when you thought I was gay...
271
00:12:05,383 --> 00:12:07,400
Huh?
...you're gonna love me now.
272
00:12:07,433 --> 00:12:09,433
Come on, Fran.
- Huh?
273
00:12:09,466 --> 00:12:11,200
Don't you feel
the same way I do?
274
00:12:11,233 --> 00:12:13,660
[MUMBLES]
275
00:12:14,416 --> 00:12:15,450
Well, goodnight
Miss Fi--
276
00:12:15,483 --> 00:12:17,366
Miss Fine!
277
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,350
Oh! Uh...
- Mr. Sheffield! Uh...
278
00:12:19,383 --> 00:12:21,150
I'm really sorry,
Mr. Sheffield.
279
00:12:21,183 --> 00:12:22,333
Boy, this is incredibly
embarrassing.
280
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:24,183
Look, Kurt, you have
absolutely nothing
281
00:12:24,216 --> 00:12:26,000
to feel embarrassed about.
282
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:27,283
Miss Fine, will you leave
this poor man alone.
283
00:12:27,316 --> 00:12:29,100
What?!
284
00:12:29,133 --> 00:12:31,150
I'm so sorry
about this, Kurt.
285
00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:33,350
Oh, you must be
feeling terrible.
286
00:12:33,383 --> 00:12:36,660
Oh, my God, she's got
lipstick all over you.
287
00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:38,383
He might have
a significant other.
288
00:12:38,416 --> 00:12:39,366
Did you ever stop
to think of that?
289
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,660
Kurt, you better go.
290
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:45,116
Mr. Sheffield's gonna hurt
himself jumping to conclusions.
291
00:12:45,150 --> 00:12:46,133
I'll call you tomorrow,
Fran.
292
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:46,466
Okay.
293
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,116
What was that?
294
00:12:53,150 --> 00:12:54,483
Wh-wh-what was that thing
that just happened there?
295
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:56,483
Well, I got a news flash
for you.
296
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,383
Kurt is a flaming heterosexual.
297
00:13:01,450 --> 00:13:02,316
Not a bad little kisser,
either.
298
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,233
All right.
299
00:13:05,266 --> 00:13:08,400
While you're here, tell me,
should I take this back?
300
00:13:08,433 --> 00:13:10,400
Uh, I think
you should put it on.
301
00:13:10,433 --> 00:13:12,300
No. I already had it on.
It flattens out my b--
302
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:15,660
Oh!
Mr. Sheffield!
303
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:17,116
Why didn't you say anything?
304
00:13:17,150 --> 00:13:19,366
Well, I--
I didn't notice.
305
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,216
You didn't-- You know,
I'm beginning to wonder
about you too.
306
00:13:24,333 --> 00:13:26,366
Oh! Oh, I can't get it on.
I'm stuck.
307
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,166
Help me, help me!
308
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,160
Relax, Miss Fine,
we'll get it on.
309
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:34,233
FRAN:
Don't rip it.
310
00:13:34,233 --> 00:13:36,216
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
I'm so hot.
311
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,283
I can't do this standing up.
312
00:13:38,316 --> 00:13:40,660
Just--
Just get on the bed.
313
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:43,383
[GRUNTS]
314
00:13:51,316 --> 00:13:53,333
If you let me tell
Miss Babcock about this,
315
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:54,316
I'll work free
for a year.
316
00:14:05,233 --> 00:14:06,400
I brought you some pickles
and ice cream.
317
00:14:09,266 --> 00:14:11,216
I'm so nauseous,
and my ankles are swollen.
318
00:14:13,416 --> 00:14:15,266
I hate you!
You
319
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,160
I know.
I just wish I knew how.
320
00:14:21,450 --> 00:14:23,100
I'm just so worried.
321
00:14:23,133 --> 00:14:24,266
Are we doing
the right thing,
322
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:27,183
bringing a child
into this world?
323
00:14:27,216 --> 00:14:29,366
Boy, could those kids
play house or what?
324
00:14:32,333 --> 00:14:35,366
Ah-ha. Just as I thought.
325
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,116
Kurt's teeth are capped.
326
00:14:39,283 --> 00:14:40,483
What?
327
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,166
No-- I'm not making it up.
328
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:43,400
Look, look, you can see
the little ridges.
329
00:14:43,433 --> 00:14:46,466
See? Huh?
Huh? Huh?
330
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,266
Maxwell, what is
wrong with you today?
331
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:50,483
If you're not gonna pay
any attention to me,
332
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,250
I might as well
just go home.
333
00:14:55,150 --> 00:14:56,116
[WHISTLES]
Taxi!
334
00:15:02,416 --> 00:15:05,366
I have three words for you -
Orange County Bonds.
335
00:15:09,433 --> 00:15:12,400
Mr. Sheffield, I got a couple
of things to talk to you about.
336
00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:15,333
Number one, do not use
the downstairs bathroom.
337
00:15:15,366 --> 00:15:16,383
Number two?
338
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,450
Exactly.
339
00:15:20,450 --> 00:15:23,116
[MAXWELL CLEARS THROAT]
Thank you, Miss Fine.
340
00:15:23,150 --> 00:15:25,300
You know, I've just been
going
through Kurt's résumé.
341
00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:27,200
Oh, are you thinking
of giving him a job?
342
00:15:27,233 --> 00:15:28,483
Well, yes.
343
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,166
Uh, let's see what
he's suited for, hm?
344
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,450
"Man in crowd, man at stadium,
man in parade."
345
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,116
Well, he was inForrest Gump.
346
00:15:37,150 --> 00:15:39,116
Oh, yes. There it is.
"Man at rally."
347
00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:40,233
That was him?
348
00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:44,283
Well, aren't you a laugh riot.
349
00:15:44,316 --> 00:15:46,166
What have you got?
Buddy and Sally under the desk?
350
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,160
Meanwhile, your son wants to
talk to you. Go ahead, honey.
351
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:55,830
Um, Dad, I know you wanna get me
into sports and everything,
352
00:15:55,116 --> 00:15:57,283
but why do you always do shows
with old ladies?
353
00:15:57,316 --> 00:16:01,116
Well, excuse me, but
most people'd be honored
354
00:16:01,150 --> 00:16:03,830
to be on a team with
Katherine Hepburn.
355
00:16:05,433 --> 00:16:08,330
Well, yeah, but did you
have to make her catcher?
356
00:16:08,660 --> 00:16:09,166
[IMITATING KATHERINE HEPBURN]
Put it there. Put it there.
357
00:16:12,450 --> 00:16:13,483
I mean, how do
you pitch to that?
358
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,183
Well, I guess
I'm gonna go upstairs
359
00:16:18,216 --> 00:16:20,216
and get ready
for my date with Kurt.
360
00:16:20,250 --> 00:16:22,183
C.C.:
Nanny Fine.
361
00:16:22,216 --> 00:16:25,500
Trying to pass off
Kurt as a date.
362
00:16:25,830 --> 00:16:26,183
How pathetic.
363
00:16:29,433 --> 00:16:31,416
This from a woman who went
to Cancun with a crash dummy.
364
00:16:34,450 --> 00:16:36,200
Oh, haven't you heard,
C.C.?
365
00:16:36,233 --> 00:16:38,266
It appears our Kurt is straight.
366
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:40,483
[LAUGHS]
367
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:42,333
Oh, that's impossible.
368
00:16:42,366 --> 00:16:44,160
We worked together
for several months.
369
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:45,366
There was absolutely
no sexual tension.
370
00:16:47,383 --> 00:16:49,250
Well, duh.
371
00:16:49,283 --> 00:16:50,160
[CHUCKLES]
372
00:16:59,183 --> 00:17:01,366
Well, I couldn't be happier
373
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:05,000
that Nanny Fine
finally found a man.
374
00:17:05,330 --> 00:17:07,183
And what are you
looking so smug about?
375
00:17:07,216 --> 00:17:09,400
Oh, just an incident in
Miss Fine's room last night.
376
00:17:11,216 --> 00:17:12,366
With her and Kurt?
377
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,383
Uh, no, with her
and another man.
378
00:17:14,416 --> 00:17:16,450
Oh, I love it.
Tell me! Tell me!
379
00:17:16,483 --> 00:17:18,333
Oh, no, I couldn't possibly.
380
00:17:18,366 --> 00:17:20,100
I swore I wouldn't say a
word.
Read this.
381
00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:27,183
Why?!
382
00:17:28,483 --> 00:17:30,250
I wanna die!
383
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:33,133
There, there.
384
00:17:33,166 --> 00:17:34,233
Now, don't do anything rash.
385
00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:44,250
Good night, C.C.
386
00:17:44,283 --> 00:17:45,660
You animal!
387
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:48,000
Niles?
388
00:17:48,330 --> 00:17:50,350
Sir?
389
00:17:50,383 --> 00:17:52,383
Did you say anything to
Miss Babcock about last night?
390
00:17:52,416 --> 00:17:55,500
No. You told me not to.
391
00:17:55,830 --> 00:17:56,160
Good.
392
00:17:57,283 --> 00:17:59,366
Niles, do you--?
393
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,233
Do you think I've been a
little
too rough on Miss Fine?
394
00:18:02,266 --> 00:18:03,183
Well, she seemed
to enjoy it, sir.
395
00:18:05,216 --> 00:18:07,450
I'm not talking about
last night.
396
00:18:07,483 --> 00:18:09,300
Oh, Niles, I don't know.
397
00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:11,366
It's this thing
with her and Kurt.
398
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,483
Why is it gnawing
at me like this?
399
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,233
Well, perhaps you feel that
he's not the right man for
her,
400
00:18:17,266 --> 00:18:19,266
that she'd be happier
with someone else.
401
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,133
No, that's absurd.
402
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:23,400
They're perfectly suited
to each other.
403
00:18:23,433 --> 00:18:25,830
So why do I find it
so bloody irritating?
404
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:30,283
Oh, dear, that was
the last apple.
405
00:18:30,316 --> 00:18:32,150
Oh, I'm sorry, old man.
Did you want it?
406
00:18:32,183 --> 00:18:35,116
Uh, well, yes, sir,
but I didn't realize I wanted
it
407
00:18:35,150 --> 00:18:36,433
until someone else had sunk
his teeth into it,
408
00:18:36,466 --> 00:18:37,316
and now it's too late.
409
00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:44,660
Oh, God, it was right there
in front of me.
410
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:45,483
If only I'd snatched it up
when I had the chance,
411
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:47,350
I wouldn't have
this aching hunger.
412
00:18:51,166 --> 00:18:52,183
Good God, man,
have a bloody pear.
413
00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:57,383
Hi, Niles.
414
00:18:57,416 --> 00:18:59,000
Miss Fine.
415
00:18:59,330 --> 00:19:00,830
Going out with Kurt?
416
00:19:00,116 --> 00:19:02,250
Mm, I guess so.
417
00:19:02,283 --> 00:19:04,366
Well, you don't seem
very excited.
418
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:07,200
Oh, I know. I should be
nuts about the guy.
419
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,400
I mean, he knows
everything about me,
420
00:19:08,433 --> 00:19:09,450
and he's still interested.
421
00:19:09,483 --> 00:19:11,183
[CHUCKLES]
422
00:19:11,216 --> 00:19:13,266
[SIGHS] I don't know.
Maybe that's it.
423
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:15,233
There's no mystery.
424
00:19:15,266 --> 00:19:16,483
It's like when you watch
Columbo.
425
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,316
Ten minutes into it,
you know who did it.
426
00:19:19,350 --> 00:19:21,660
Then you spend the rest
of the hour trying to figure
out
427
00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:22,330
which one is the glass eye.
428
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,166
Oh, Niles,
what's wrong with me?
429
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:38,160
Oh, dear, that was
the last pear.
430
00:19:40,216 --> 00:19:42,200
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did you want it?
431
00:19:42,233 --> 00:19:44,183
Well, yes, but I didn't
realize I wanted it
432
00:19:44,216 --> 00:19:46,830
until someone else
had sunk his teeth into it.
433
00:19:46,116 --> 00:19:47,830
Well, you snooze,
you lose.
434
00:19:56,483 --> 00:20:00,100
Hey, kids, what are you two
still doing up?
435
00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:02,100
Niles was supposed to put you
to bed an hour ago.
436
00:20:02,133 --> 00:20:05,330
[SNORING]
437
00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:06,233
Niles!
Huh?
438
00:20:06,266 --> 00:20:09,330
Oh. This is not my fault.
Yeah.
439
00:20:09,660 --> 00:20:12,300
They gave me turkey.
440
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:14,100
Good night.
Good night.
441
00:20:14,133 --> 00:20:15,250
Nine minus seven?
442
00:20:15,283 --> 00:20:16,366
Uh, two.
443
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:17,433
Well, what are you doing?
444
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:18,483
I'm timing her subtractions.
445
00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:25,300
Three seconds.
446
00:20:25,333 --> 00:20:27,500
It's time!
447
00:20:27,830 --> 00:20:28,183
WILLIE:
Oh, no.
448
00:20:28,216 --> 00:20:30,333
We can't have the baby now.
449
00:20:30,366 --> 00:20:32,300
I don't know
how to get to the hospital.
450
00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:37,160
Hold it.
Honey, honey, calm down.
451
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:41,383
Gracie, you're not really
having a baby, honey.
452
00:20:41,416 --> 00:20:43,333
But you said when two people
sleep together
453
00:20:43,366 --> 00:20:45,166
and the girl is late--
454
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,500
Well, I was late
forThe Lion King.
455
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:50,416
Oy,
were listening to?
456
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:53,150
"Don't put peas up your nose,"
I have to say nine times.
457
00:20:55,366 --> 00:20:59,116
Sweetie, you are
definitely not pregnant.
458
00:20:59,150 --> 00:21:00,333
And if you were, we would call
in Geraldo immediately.
459
00:21:02,283 --> 00:21:04,183
I'm not?
No.
460
00:21:04,216 --> 00:21:06,100
[SIGHS]
Thank God.
461
00:21:06,133 --> 00:21:07,433
I'd like to get a figure
before I lose it.
462
00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:10,330
[LAUGHS]
463
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:11,466
Come on, you two.
It's time for bed.
464
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,160
Boy, you two are just so cute.
465
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:18,366
You go upstairs
and have sweet dreams.
466
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,350
Uh, Willie, you sleep
in Brighton's room.
467
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:24,450
Oh, Miss Fine.
Good, you're home.
468
00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:26,450
Hi.
I, uh...
469
00:21:26,483 --> 00:21:28,450
I-I wanted to apologize
for the way I behaved
470
00:21:28,483 --> 00:21:31,150
about you and Kurt.
471
00:21:31,183 --> 00:21:34,116
Oh, well, you know, if I didn't
know any better,
472
00:21:34,150 --> 00:21:36,100
I would think that
you were jealous.
473
00:21:36,133 --> 00:21:37,400
[BOTH LAUGH]
474
00:21:37,433 --> 00:21:39,350
[LAUGHING]
Oh, please, Miss--
475
00:21:39,383 --> 00:21:40,116
Miss Fine.
476
00:21:42,350 --> 00:21:45,100
No, I, uh-- I was just
concerned
about the children.
477
00:21:45,133 --> 00:21:47,500
I thought maybe they'd get
attached to Kurt,
478
00:21:47,830 --> 00:21:49,433
and then when you break up,
they'd be upset.
479
00:21:49,466 --> 00:21:52,366
Well, why are you so quick
to saywhen
480
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,100
How come you assume
my relationships won't work out?
481
00:21:55,133 --> 00:21:56,333
Well, how's it going?
It didn't work out.
482
00:21:56,366 --> 00:21:58,160
Oh.
483
00:21:58,500 --> 00:21:59,100
Did you part amicably?
484
00:22:00,266 --> 00:22:01,433
No, not at all.
485
00:22:01,466 --> 00:22:02,383
It was very friendly.
486
00:22:04,350 --> 00:22:06,383
Well, don't worry,
Miss Fine.
487
00:22:06,416 --> 00:22:08,283
If it isn't Kurt,
it-- it'll be someone else.
488
00:22:08,316 --> 00:22:09,466
Hm.
- Good night, Miss Fine.
489
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:11,250
Good night,
Mr. Sheffield.
490
00:22:11,283 --> 00:22:13,450
You know, I'm not asking
for much, really.
491
00:22:13,483 --> 00:22:16,366
I just want someone that's
goin'
in the same direction as me.
492
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:17,450
I know exactly
what you mean.
493
00:22:20,233 --> 00:22:22,500
Oh, Miss Fine...
What?
494
00:22:22,830 --> 00:22:23,166
I think you sat
in something.
Hm?
495
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:24,466
Nope, looking good.
496
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,133
Really, Ma?
497
00:22:52,300 --> 00:22:53,350
Uh-huh.
36297
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