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1
00:00:06,116 --> 00:00:09,100
Oh, wow.
2
00:00:09,133 --> 00:00:13,400
Look at all
these memories.
3
00:00:13,433 --> 00:00:15,366
Ma could never throw
anything of mine away.
4
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,200
Darling, get all your crap
outta here.
5
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,300
I'm converting
the storage room
6
00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:23,433
into a den
for your father.
7
00:00:23,466 --> 00:00:26,116
Ma, this is a den
by you?
8
00:00:26,150 --> 00:00:28,500
Why don't you just
strap him to the wall
9
00:00:28,830 --> 00:00:29,316
and slap an iron mask
on his face?
10
00:00:31,383 --> 00:00:33,266
You kids.
11
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:34,483
We're not into that.
12
00:00:38,366 --> 00:00:40,400
Oh, look!
13
00:00:40,433 --> 00:00:44,150
My old stewardess costume.
14
00:00:44,183 --> 00:00:45,400
For Halloween,
I went as Karen Black
15
00:00:45,433 --> 00:00:47,300
fromAirport '75.
16
00:00:47,333 --> 00:00:49,383
"Oh, my God, the
pilot's
been sucked out."
17
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,300
Oh, wow, these are cool.
18
00:00:55,333 --> 00:00:59,266
Oh, my old platforms.
19
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:01,830
[CHUCKLING]
Oh.
20
00:01:01,116 --> 00:01:03,283
I used to
boogie, oogie, oogie
21
00:01:03,316 --> 00:01:05,183
till I just couldn't boogie
no more.
22
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:08,450
[SIGHS]
Oh...
23
00:01:08,483 --> 00:01:10,400
You want?
- Sure.
24
00:01:10,433 --> 00:01:12,350
Oh, look.
25
00:01:12,383 --> 00:01:13,483
Your father's first piece.
26
00:01:16,133 --> 00:01:17,300
He loved Ringo.
27
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:20,300
Oh, it takes me back.
28
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,116
Now sing...
29
00:01:26,150 --> 00:01:27,266
"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
30
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:33,116
Ma, look at this.
31
00:01:33,150 --> 00:01:36,366
This is my "Win a date
with Erik Estrada" entry
form.
32
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:38,416
You were supposed
to mail this in 1979.
33
00:01:40,466 --> 00:01:42,216
All right.
Give it to me.
34
00:01:42,250 --> 00:01:44,450
I've got a tax form from '81
that's gotta go.
35
00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:49,200
Fran, how come all these kids
are green?
36
00:01:49,233 --> 00:01:53,216
[GASPS]
Oy, my camp picture got moldy.
37
00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:57,250
Oh, please,
let this be a fat year.
38
00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:59,266
Oh, what difference
does it make?
39
00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:02,660
That stupid Judy Silverman
always jumped in front of me
40
00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:03,366
every time I went
to take a picture.
41
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:07,830
She was so threatened by me.
42
00:02:07,116 --> 00:02:08,316
Why? Because you
were prettier than her?
43
00:02:08,350 --> 00:02:10,166
Well, yeah, that,
44
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:11,233
and also 'cause I actually
threatened her.
45
00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:16,366
She always had to be
one up on me, you know?
46
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,483
I mean, sometimes
she succeeded.
47
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:20,316
Sometimes an ex-lax
and hot cocoa
48
00:02:20,350 --> 00:02:21,250
kept her out of Color War.
49
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:26,133
Yow. This is scary.
50
00:02:26,166 --> 00:02:28,216
Look, it's a naked picture
of that guy fromEvening Shade.
51
00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:29,100
Oh!
52
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:33,160
Oh, gross!
53
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:37,830
Oh, my Burt Reynolds'
Cosmo
54
00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,416
Darling, that's mine.
55
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,116
No, Ma,
you laminated yours.
56
00:02:40,150 --> 00:02:41,830
No, I didn't.
57
00:02:41,116 --> 00:02:41,483
Yes, you did.
58
00:02:44,350 --> 00:02:46,400
Oh, well, I guess
that's more than Lonnie got.
59
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,400
[THEME SONG PLAYS]
60
00:02:53,433 --> 00:02:55,100
♪ She was workingIn a bridal shop ♪
61
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,400
♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪
62
00:02:56,433 --> 00:02:58,660
♪ Till her boyfriendKicked her out ♪
63
00:02:58,100 --> 00:02:59,350
♪ In one of thoseCrushing scenes ♪
64
00:02:59,383 --> 00:03:01,183
♪ What was she do?Where was she to go? ♪
65
00:03:01,216 --> 00:03:04,283
♪ She was out on her fanny ♪
66
00:03:04,316 --> 00:03:06,000
♪ So over the bridgeFrom Flushing ♪
67
00:03:06,330 --> 00:03:07,166
♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪
68
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,333
♪ She was thereTo sell makeup ♪
69
00:03:08,366 --> 00:03:10,660
♪ But the father saw more
70
00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:11,450
She had style, she had flairShe was there ♪
71
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:15,250
♪ That's how she becameThe nanny ♪
72
00:03:15,283 --> 00:03:16,416
♪ Who would have guessed ♪
73
00:03:16,450 --> 00:03:19,116
♪ That the girlWe've described ♪
74
00:03:19,150 --> 00:03:21,660
♪ Was just exactlyWhat the doctor prescribed? ♪
75
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,330
♪ Now the fatherFinds her beguiling ♪
76
00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:23,300
♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪
77
00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:24,416
♪ And the kidsAre actually smiling ♪
78
00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:26,330
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
79
00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:27,416
♪ She's the lady in red
80
00:03:27,450 --> 00:03:30,216
♪ When everybody elseIs wearing tan ♪
81
00:03:32,830 --> 00:03:33,416
♪ The flashy girlFrom Flushing ♪
82
00:03:33,450 --> 00:03:34,200
♪ The nanny named Fran ♪
83
00:03:38,330 --> 00:03:39,000
Okay, Fran,
where do you want these?
84
00:03:39,330 --> 00:03:42,300
Oh, my old school books.
85
00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:44,316
Looking for Mr. Goodbar.
86
00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:45,400
Valley of the Dolls.
87
00:03:47,316 --> 00:03:48,483
Intro to Chemistry?
How'd that get in there?
88
00:03:51,133 --> 00:03:52,483
What exactly
are a person's "loins",
89
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:53,350
and how do you get them
to quiver?
90
00:03:55,433 --> 00:03:56,416
Give me that.
91
00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,466
You know what?
Stick this in my closet.
92
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,133
Better yet,
put it under my bed.
93
00:04:06,483 --> 00:04:08,300
Oh, Niles,
94
00:04:08,333 --> 00:04:10,500
Look at what
I brought home.
95
00:04:10,830 --> 00:04:11,483
Doesn't it smell real?
[SNIFFS]
96
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:13,500
[SARCASTICALLY]
You mean it's not?
97
00:04:15,266 --> 00:04:16,400
No.
98
00:04:16,433 --> 00:04:18,300
You know what
the secret is.
99
00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:20,250
You dust it
with Lemon Pledge.
100
00:04:20,283 --> 00:04:22,183
Oh.
101
00:04:22,216 --> 00:04:24,416
Why don't you take it
and put it in your room?
102
00:04:24,450 --> 00:04:26,660
Cheer it up a little bit.
103
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:26,416
[MUTTERS]
Oh, that's really nice.
104
00:04:30,366 --> 00:04:33,500
Meanwhile, what are you wearing
to the Camp Kindervelt reunion?
105
00:04:33,830 --> 00:04:35,266
Oh, I'm not going to that.
106
00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:38,183
I don't need Judy Silverman
rubbing her gorgeous,
107
00:04:38,216 --> 00:04:42,830
successful, handsome,
rich husband in my face.
108
00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:43,483
Maybe she's still single.
109
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,183
Oh, Val, you're
confusing her with us.
110
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:51,366
Judy was already narrowing
the groom's side to 30
111
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,116
while we were still
bobbin' in the lake,
112
00:04:53,150 --> 00:04:54,333
shouting "Marco, Polo."
113
00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,433
So you're not gonna go?
114
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,450
Not unless
I can go on the arm
115
00:05:01,483 --> 00:05:04,100
of a drop-dead
gorgeous guy.
116
00:05:04,133 --> 00:05:06,166
Oh, tell Giorgio
I love his suits,
117
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,366
but I am not posing
forGQ.
118
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,316
I'm a businessman,
not a bloody model.
119
00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:12,330
Wouldn't hurt
if he was loaded, either.
120
00:05:14,150 --> 00:05:15,333
And what would I do
with another Lamborghini?
121
00:05:17,266 --> 00:05:20,316
Hey, why don't you ask
Mr. Sheffield to take you.
122
00:05:20,350 --> 00:05:23,233
Oh, Val, where do you
come up with these ideas?
123
00:05:23,266 --> 00:05:25,133
Why not?
It's just a favor.
124
00:05:25,166 --> 00:05:27,100
He's a friend,
and you'd do for him.
125
00:05:27,133 --> 00:05:29,233
You know,
you're right.
126
00:05:29,266 --> 00:05:32,333
He's always schlepping me
to those premieres.
127
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:35,100
I'm in and out
of limos.
128
00:05:35,133 --> 00:05:37,830
I have to remember
all those names...
129
00:05:37,116 --> 00:05:38,166
Donald, Marla...
130
00:05:39,483 --> 00:05:41,400
Woody, Mia.
131
00:05:41,433 --> 00:05:42,450
I had to write Soon-Yi's name
on my wrist.
132
00:05:45,333 --> 00:05:47,316
MAGGIE:
Fran, these shoes
fit great!
133
00:05:47,350 --> 00:05:50,283
Oh, good, honey,
I'm glad.
134
00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:53,830
Gee, I love
those platforms.
135
00:05:53,116 --> 00:05:54,660
I wonder why
I stopped wearin' 'em?
136
00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:55,250
[CRASH]
137
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,116
MAGGIE:
I'm okay!
138
00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:08,100
It's freezing
out here.
139
00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:09,466
Quit smoking, C.C.
and come inside.
140
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,250
Niles, get that hideous thing
off the terrace, would you?
141
00:06:27,283 --> 00:06:28,416
Mr. Sheffield wants you
to get off the terrace.
142
00:06:35,183 --> 00:06:38,316
Oh, Maxwell,
why can't I smoke inside?
143
00:06:38,350 --> 00:06:40,830
C.C., if you want to ruin
your own health,
144
00:06:40,116 --> 00:06:41,333
that's your business,
145
00:06:41,366 --> 00:06:42,216
but Niles is allergic.
146
00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:43,350
Ooh.
147
00:06:48,466 --> 00:06:51,466
Hi, Mr. Sheffield.
148
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:52,433
What do you want?
149
00:06:54,316 --> 00:06:56,133
Nothing.
150
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,400
Can't a friend come in
151
00:06:57,433 --> 00:06:59,330
and say hello
to another friend?
152
00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:01,166
Hello, friend.
153
00:07:03,150 --> 00:07:04,330
You're sitting
on John Malkovich.
154
00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:07,660
I don't hear
him
155
00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:12,166
Get up.
156
00:07:14,416 --> 00:07:16,433
Now I forgot
what I came in here to ask you.
157
00:07:16,466 --> 00:07:18,400
Oh, yeah.
158
00:07:18,433 --> 00:07:21,333
Uh, my camp is having
a big reunion this weekend.
159
00:07:21,366 --> 00:07:23,116
What are you doing
Friday night?
160
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:26,000
Friday, Friday,
Friday, Friday,
161
00:07:26,330 --> 00:07:27,300
[FASTER]
Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday.
162
00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:29,400
Oh, meeting
of the Tony committee.
163
00:07:29,433 --> 00:07:31,233
What a shame.
164
00:07:31,266 --> 00:07:33,300
Blast, if it was
any other night...
165
00:07:33,333 --> 00:07:35,133
Oh, lucky you.
It's really Saturday.
166
00:07:40,830 --> 00:07:42,500
A blind man in New Jersey
saw that one coming, sir.
167
00:07:44,366 --> 00:07:46,200
Miss Fine, I hate reunions.
168
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,300
I didn't even go
to my own at Eaton.
169
00:07:48,333 --> 00:07:50,216
NILES:
Oh, yes, you did, sir.
Don't you remember?
170
00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:51,416
You were sulking
in the corner because
171
00:07:51,450 --> 00:07:53,366
everyone was kissing
Jeremy Irons' ass--
172
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,250
--pirin, Q-tips,and
173
00:07:55,283 --> 00:07:57,333
Well...
174
00:07:57,366 --> 00:07:58,350
I'm off
to the drug store.
175
00:08:01,433 --> 00:08:03,330
Come on, Mr. Sheffield,
what do you say?
176
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,333
Goodbye?
177
00:08:05,366 --> 00:08:08,233
Oh, I can't believe this.
178
00:08:08,266 --> 00:08:11,500
After all the favors
that I've done for you.
179
00:08:11,830 --> 00:08:14,150
You schlepp me on that yacht,
on a Sunday yet.
180
00:08:14,183 --> 00:08:16,300
All the way up to Newport,
181
00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:20,330
just so you and the kids
can hang out with Claus.
182
00:08:20,660 --> 00:08:21,416
Meanwhile,
I'm upstairs with Sunny.
183
00:08:21,450 --> 00:08:22,416
The woman doesn't
say two words.
184
00:08:30,383 --> 00:08:32,183
[SIGHS]
185
00:08:32,216 --> 00:08:33,150
Can you believe
I actually considered
186
00:08:33,183 --> 00:08:35,366
calling my ex-fiancé, Danny,
187
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,660
to see if he'd take me
to this reunion?
188
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,316
Oh, how low can I stoop?
189
00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:45,160
What are you doin'
Saturday night?
190
00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:52,330
As cute a couple
as we'd make,
191
00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:53,183
I have a date
with a sure thing.
192
00:08:55,216 --> 00:08:56,300
Just don't leave your wallet
on the dresser.
193
00:08:59,450 --> 00:09:01,400
Fran, I hung your psychopathic
poster in my room.
194
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:04,383
That's "psychedelic", honey.
195
00:09:06,133 --> 00:09:08,830
Yeah, Niles, in the old days,
196
00:09:08,116 --> 00:09:09,316
you could hallucinate
a date.
197
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:17,233
Oh, God, Andrew Lloyd Webber's
done it again.
198
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,350
Just got the rights to a show
I've been after for years.
199
00:09:19,383 --> 00:09:22,300
Just for once, Niles,
I'd love to top him.
200
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:23,266
Well, now you know
how Miss Fine feels
about Judy Silverman.
201
00:09:26,116 --> 00:09:27,233
I'm sorry, sir.
I know it hurts,
but it's my job.
202
00:09:30,183 --> 00:09:33,160
Oh, all right.
203
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:34,133
I suppose it would be
very thrilling for her
204
00:09:34,166 --> 00:09:35,233
to walk in with me.
205
00:09:37,216 --> 00:09:39,660
Your blue suit is back
from the cleaners.
206
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:41,133
Oh, no, Niles,
that's much too
207
00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:44,333
"Here I am,
Mr. Big-Famous-Producer."
208
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:46,366
I think the, um--
The green tweed.
209
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,483
That's very smart.
- Good choice, sir.
210
00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:50,450
There's no time to take it
to the cleaners.
211
00:09:50,483 --> 00:09:52,433
You'll have to press
it
yourself.
212
00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:54,433
Oh, fix the lining in
the right sleeve, would you?
213
00:09:54,466 --> 00:09:56,400
Oh, and, uh, mend
the buttons.
214
00:09:56,433 --> 00:09:58,233
Just snazz it up a bit.
215
00:09:58,266 --> 00:10:02,100
Did you say
the green tweed, sir?
216
00:10:02,133 --> 00:10:03,330
Don't you think
it makes you look rather...?
217
00:10:03,466 --> 00:10:04,433
Rather what?
218
00:10:04,466 --> 00:10:05,316
Well, tubby.
219
00:10:09,433 --> 00:10:13,660
Nice try, Niles. I'm wearing the
green tweed. Go on, get on it.
220
00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:14,316
[MOCKS BITTERLY]
Niles doesn't have
anything else to do.
221
00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:15,250
He can go upstairs
and snazz it up.
222
00:10:20,116 --> 00:10:22,333
How do you keep from
twisting
your ankle in those things?
223
00:10:22,366 --> 00:10:24,500
Oh, you don't.
224
00:10:24,830 --> 00:10:25,216
That's what bell-bottoms
were for,
225
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,160
to hide the swelling.
226
00:10:29,183 --> 00:10:30,400
What's this for?
227
00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:32,250
Oh, that's my disco whistle.
228
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,150
Twirl that chandelier.
229
00:10:35,183 --> 00:10:37,660
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
230
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:39,333
♪ I'm looking for somehot stuff, baby ♪
231
00:10:39,366 --> 00:10:41,160
♪ This evening ♪
232
00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:42,266
Whoop whoop.
233
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:45,830
♪ Hot stuff, baby, tonight ♪
234
00:10:45,116 --> 00:10:46,333
♪ I'm looking forSome hot stuff, ba-- ♪
235
00:10:46,366 --> 00:10:47,433
Oh!
[LOUD CRASH]
236
00:10:47,466 --> 00:10:49,160
Fran?
237
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:50,830
[DOORBELL RINGS]
238
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:54,250
GRACIE AND BRIGHTON:
I'll get it.
239
00:10:58,366 --> 00:10:59,216
Hi.
- Hi.
240
00:11:02,366 --> 00:11:03,316
How are you?
241
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,830
I'm looking
for a Fran Fine.
242
00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:11,160
Uh, hi, Ponch.
243
00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:12,133
Ponch?!
244
00:11:12,166 --> 00:11:13,183
Whoa!
245
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,300
[GRUNTS]
246
00:11:17,333 --> 00:11:19,830
Oh, my!
247
00:11:20,266 --> 00:11:22,416
[GIGGLES]
248
00:11:22,450 --> 00:11:24,416
You aremuy bonita.
249
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:26,000
[BAD ACCENT]
Gracias.
250
00:11:29,233 --> 00:11:31,216
Wow.
Great smile.
251
00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:32,283
Oh, don't look at it directly.
It's like an eclipse.
252
00:11:35,233 --> 00:11:37,316
So are you here
to see Mr. Sheffield?
253
00:11:37,350 --> 00:11:39,200
No, Fran.
He's here to see you.
254
00:11:39,233 --> 00:11:40,350
We sent in your old
"Win a date with Erik Estrada"
255
00:11:40,383 --> 00:11:42,333
entry form.
256
00:11:42,366 --> 00:11:44,330
My manager thought it'd be
a fun thing to do,
257
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:46,160
you know, for publicity.
258
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:47,350
Don't you have a big reunion
tomorrow night?
259
00:11:47,383 --> 00:11:49,316
Yeah.
260
00:11:49,350 --> 00:11:51,350
Well...
261
00:11:51,383 --> 00:11:54,200
I'm the hombre
who's taking you.
262
00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:55,133
Oh, my God.
This is--
263
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:59,500
Amazing.
264
00:11:59,830 --> 00:12:02,160
It's like a dream.
How could this be?
265
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:03,266
We told him how desperate
you were.
266
00:12:07,416 --> 00:12:09,133
Oh, thank you!
267
00:12:11,366 --> 00:12:13,500
Well, then, I'll see you
tomorrow night.
268
00:12:13,830 --> 00:12:14,383
Okay.
269
00:12:14,416 --> 00:12:16,366
Oh, by the way,
is it formal?
270
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:20,300
Oh, Erik, whatever you wear
will be just fine.
271
00:12:20,333 --> 00:12:22,183
You wouldn't happen to have
your oldCHiPs
272
00:12:22,216 --> 00:12:24,200
Oh, no, that would be a push.
That would be a push.
273
00:12:24,233 --> 00:12:26,183
Adios.
274
00:12:26,216 --> 00:12:28,483
Hasta spumante,
275
00:12:33,133 --> 00:12:35,400
Oh, is hecaliente
276
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,330
Oh, thanks, you guys.
277
00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:40,133
You're wonderful.
I love you.
278
00:12:40,166 --> 00:12:41,183
I've gotta go call Val.
279
00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:44,266
[PHONE BEEPS]
280
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:46,116
Hold onto your hat,
Miss Fine.
281
00:12:46,150 --> 00:12:48,250
I've decided I will escort
you to your reunion.
282
00:12:48,283 --> 00:12:49,483
Val, sit!
283
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,183
You are not going
to believe
284
00:12:51,216 --> 00:12:52,416
who's taking me
to the reunion.
285
00:12:52,450 --> 00:12:55,400
Judy Silverman will die.
286
00:12:55,433 --> 00:12:56,300
Well, she may be
a little impressed.
287
00:12:58,350 --> 00:13:01,133
Well, he's gorgeous,
he's foreign,
288
00:13:01,166 --> 00:13:03,166
and he's got
a head of hair
289
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,830
that you can lose
a hand in.
290
00:13:05,116 --> 00:13:06,400
Well...
291
00:13:06,433 --> 00:13:09,133
I'm going
with Erik Estrada!
292
00:13:09,166 --> 00:13:10,160
Who?
293
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,660
No, Val, this is not
like the time
294
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:15,466
I said I was going out
with Jan-Michael Vincent.
295
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:16,366
Bye.
296
00:13:18,660 --> 00:13:20,266
Oh, hi,
Mr. Sheffield.
297
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,216
I see you're wearing
your green tweed jacket.
298
00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:23,483
Yes. Why?
299
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:25,350
Oh, just makes you look
a little...
300
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:27,166
tubby.
301
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,333
[HUMMING]
302
00:13:40,366 --> 00:13:43,383
Ooh, Niles,
what's the occasion?
303
00:13:43,416 --> 00:13:45,283
It's for you.
304
00:13:45,316 --> 00:13:48,433
Congratulations
on quitting smoking.
305
00:13:48,466 --> 00:13:50,350
Oh, Niles, you know,
when you quit smoking,
306
00:13:50,383 --> 00:13:52,200
you have to be careful
not to gain weight.
307
00:13:52,233 --> 00:13:53,266
Oh, really?
308
00:13:58,116 --> 00:14:00,830
Last time I quit,
I gained 25 pounds.
309
00:14:00,116 --> 00:14:01,216
[DING]
310
00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:02,166
Eclairs are ready.
311
00:14:05,416 --> 00:14:09,450
Oh, only six more hours
to Erik Estrada.
312
00:14:09,483 --> 00:14:11,333
Mr. Sheffield
wants to see you.
313
00:14:11,366 --> 00:14:13,133
Oh, well, that can only mean
one thing,
314
00:14:13,166 --> 00:14:14,500
take the back stairs.
315
00:14:15,383 --> 00:14:17,830
Miss Fine.
316
00:14:17,116 --> 00:14:19,350
What, have you got me LoJacked?
317
00:14:25,383 --> 00:14:28,500
We have a problem.
318
00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:29,400
Why do you always
go straight to me?
319
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:31,500
Niles could have done it.
320
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:32,416
Yep, Niles is no angel.
321
00:14:38,416 --> 00:14:41,100
Brighton's English teacher
faxed this over.
322
00:14:41,133 --> 00:14:43,366
The assignment was to write
from personal experience.
323
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:44,216
Read it.
324
00:14:47,133 --> 00:14:50,183
"Isabel. How do I describe
Isabel?
325
00:14:50,216 --> 00:14:54,183
She was part woman,
part little girl"?
326
00:14:54,216 --> 00:14:56,350
"I felt her heaving bosom
in my--"Oy.
327
00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:00,466
Well, what are you
looking at me for?
328
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:03,160
The only Isabel I know
is Sanford.
329
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:04,466
And if Brighton
is fantasizing about Weezy,
330
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:05,466
this problem's bigger
than both of us.
331
00:15:07,483 --> 00:15:08,316
I have to get back
to work.
332
00:15:14,416 --> 00:15:17,150
See this is rewritten by Monday,
would you, Miss Fine?
333
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:20,350
Oh, but I don't feel like
doing
homework on the weekend.
334
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:23,333
Yoo-hoo, Miss Babcock.
335
00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:26,300
Tea time.
336
00:15:29,316 --> 00:15:34,150
[CHiPs
PLAYING ON TV]
337
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,166
Does this Ponch character
do anything on this show
338
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,366
but ride a motorcycle?
339
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:40,333
Well, there does seem to be
a crime wave
340
00:15:40,366 --> 00:15:42,500
involving big-busted women
in halter tops
341
00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:45,660
driving Corvettes.
342
00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:46,366
This is absurd.
343
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,200
There are more close-ups
of his rear end
344
00:15:48,233 --> 00:15:50,333
than of his partner's face.
345
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:51,450
That's the way I would've
directed it.
346
00:15:53,483 --> 00:15:59,166
[CHEWING,
TAPPING ]
347
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,830
Stop it, C.C., you've been
driving me crazy all week!
348
00:16:01,116 --> 00:16:01,433
Now, smoke!
349
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:04,400
Maxwell!
350
00:16:04,433 --> 00:16:06,400
I am wearing the patch.
351
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:07,366
If I light a cigarette
right now,
352
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,283
my heart will stop.
353
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,660
Oh, I can't even breathe.
354
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:26,316
I can't believe this.
355
00:16:26,350 --> 00:16:27,433
My hair came out too big.
356
00:16:27,466 --> 00:16:30,216
My dress is too small.
357
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:32,100
Really? I think
it's a little subdued.
358
00:16:32,133 --> 00:16:33,450
No.
359
00:16:33,483 --> 00:16:36,116
I'd go up
another inch or two.
360
00:16:36,150 --> 00:16:38,133
[MOTORCYCLE REVS]
361
00:16:38,166 --> 00:16:39,383
Oh, Dad,
you should see his Harley.
362
00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:41,366
It's so cool.
363
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,366
It's like the beginning
ofThe Wild One.
364
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,160
What are they so excited about?
365
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,283
I rode a motorcycle too.
Remember? At Eaton?
366
00:16:48,316 --> 00:16:49,266
I believe that was
a moped, sir.
367
00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:53,660
With a grocery basket
on the front.
368
00:16:55,183 --> 00:16:56,500
Well, it was bloody good
on the curves.
369
00:16:58,416 --> 00:17:00,500
Wow, Fran.
370
00:17:00,830 --> 00:17:01,350
Hi, Erik.
371
00:17:01,383 --> 00:17:02,416
You look great.
372
00:17:02,450 --> 00:17:04,300
[GIGGLES]
373
00:17:04,333 --> 00:17:07,660
That dress is almost as tight
as myCHiPs
374
00:17:07,100 --> 00:17:08,216
[GIGGLES]
375
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:11,830
Buenos
376
00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:17,283
I'd like you to meet
my mother,
377
00:17:17,316 --> 00:17:18,250
from Frito-Lay.
378
00:17:21,330 --> 00:17:23,150
And this is my boss,
379
00:17:23,183 --> 00:17:25,233
Maxwell Sheffield,
the big, famous producer.
380
00:17:25,266 --> 00:17:26,366
Miss Fine, I'm sure
he knows who I am.
381
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,266
No.
382
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,316
What TV shows
have you done?
383
00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:34,830
Well, none.
I produce theater.
384
00:17:34,116 --> 00:17:35,166
So how'd you
get the house?
385
00:17:45,250 --> 00:17:48,500
You know, mosquitoes
aren't so bad.
386
00:17:48,830 --> 00:17:49,316
Taste like chicken.
387
00:17:49,350 --> 00:17:52,300
WOMEN:
Hi, Fran!
388
00:17:52,333 --> 00:17:56,233
Attention, all campers,
look who I've got.
389
00:17:56,266 --> 00:17:58,466
[SCREAMING AND CLAMORING]
390
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,400
Fran, it's really
Erik Estrada.
391
00:18:03,433 --> 00:18:05,116
I'm dying.
392
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:07,160
[CAMERA CLICKS]
393
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:08,433
You look gorgeous.
394
00:18:08,466 --> 00:18:10,133
Oh, thanks.
395
00:18:10,166 --> 00:18:11,150
Take off the helmet.
- No.
396
00:18:13,333 --> 00:18:16,830
Fran, you can't wear
a helmet all night.
397
00:18:16,116 --> 00:18:18,160
Why? Madonna wears
two traffic cones
398
00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:21,160
strapped to her chest.
399
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:21,283
Fran...
400
00:18:22,450 --> 00:18:24,233
Oh, all right.
401
00:18:26,450 --> 00:18:27,466
Did I deflate?
402
00:18:28,383 --> 00:18:29,350
I gotta see.
403
00:18:32,433 --> 00:18:33,366
Oh!
404
00:18:34,233 --> 00:18:35,100
Well, Fran...
405
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:38,483
seems your friends got
a big kick out of this,
406
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,830
but I gotta split.
407
00:18:41,116 --> 00:18:42,266
It was great meeting you,
though.
408
00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:44,416
W-wait a minute.
Where are you going?
409
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:47,216
Judy Silverman
hasn't
even shown up yet.
410
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:49,466
I'm taking my wife and kids
toBeauty and the Beast.
411
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,133
Didn't they tell you?
412
00:18:51,166 --> 00:18:52,350
I never met
your wife and kids.
413
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,400
I meant my manager.
414
00:18:55,433 --> 00:18:57,200
You know, this
was all publicity.
415
00:18:57,233 --> 00:19:01,266
Oh, right.
Of course.
416
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:05,216
Uh, well, it was nice
meeting you,
417
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:08,500
and thank you for coming,
and enjoy the show.
418
00:19:08,350 --> 00:19:10,660
Bye-bye.
419
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,160
Adios.
420
00:19:12,266 --> 00:19:14,000
I like the blond guy better!
421
00:19:15,166 --> 00:19:16,400
Come on, Val,
let's get out of here
422
00:19:16,433 --> 00:19:17,483
before that stupid Judy
423
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,116
Silverman--
424
00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:21,266
Hi!
425
00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:22,483
Fran!
426
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,000
Judy!
427
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:28,660
[BOTH GIGGLE]
428
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:31,500
So you here alone?
429
00:19:31,830 --> 00:19:34,660
Me, alone?
Yeah, right.
430
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,383
[BOTH LAUGH]
431
00:19:36,416 --> 00:19:38,450
Uh-huh.
432
00:19:38,483 --> 00:19:41,116
Wait right here.
You gotta meet my fiancé.
433
00:19:41,150 --> 00:19:43,183
Great!
I won't budge.
434
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:45,830
Let's get the hell
out of here.
435
00:19:45,116 --> 00:19:46,200
All right.
Don't run off, now.
436
00:19:46,233 --> 00:19:49,160
I wanna meet
your guy too.
437
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:52,450
Oh, Val, here's a 20.
Give it to the janitor.
438
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:54,300
Tell him to run a comb
through his hair.
439
00:19:54,333 --> 00:19:56,000
Too late.
Here they come.
440
00:19:56,330 --> 00:19:56,366
Oh.
441
00:19:58,500 --> 00:19:59,250
This is Fran.
442
00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:00,400
Hi.
Hi.
443
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,233
Nice to meet you.
444
00:20:02,266 --> 00:20:04,316
So where's your guy?
445
00:20:04,350 --> 00:20:05,266
My guy?
446
00:20:06,433 --> 00:20:08,350
My guy.
447
00:20:08,383 --> 00:20:10,160
We're talkin' 'bout my guy.
448
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,433
Well, to tell you
the truth, Judy--
449
00:20:14,466 --> 00:20:17,500
Hello, darling.
- Huh?
450
00:20:17,830 --> 00:20:19,330
You're
451
00:20:19,660 --> 00:20:20,100
Well, I'm not sure
that "date"
452
00:20:20,133 --> 00:20:22,330
would be the right word.
453
00:20:22,660 --> 00:20:23,200
We've been living together
for what?
454
00:20:23,233 --> 00:20:24,500
Over a year now.
455
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:27,500
[LAUGHS]
456
00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:32,200
Yeah, did you remember
to turn the alarm on, honey.
457
00:20:32,233 --> 00:20:34,000
The mansion next to
ours
was robbed.
458
00:20:34,330 --> 00:20:35,100
It was so scary.
459
00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:40,116
Well, this is Blake Glickman,
my fiancé.
460
00:20:40,150 --> 00:20:43,133
We're very much in love.
461
00:20:43,166 --> 00:20:44,200
Well, pleased to meet you.
Maxwell Sheffield.
How do you do--
462
00:20:46,233 --> 00:20:47,100
Maxwell Sheffield?
463
00:20:48,466 --> 00:20:51,100
I was in one
of your revivals.
464
00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:55,000
♪ Seventy-six trombonesLed the big parade ♪
465
00:20:55,330 --> 00:20:57,200
♪ With a 110 ♪Coronets close at hand ♪
466
00:20:58,433 --> 00:20:59,450
That's where I met Kent.
467
00:21:02,350 --> 00:21:04,366
That's the last time
I feed your cat
468
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:05,233
when you're on the road.
469
00:21:08,133 --> 00:21:11,100
Boy, are their kids
gonna be good-lookin'.
470
00:21:15,416 --> 00:21:18,350
["TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
471
00:21:18,383 --> 00:21:21,100
Miss Fine, what about a
little
turn around the dance floor?
472
00:21:21,133 --> 00:21:23,330
Oh, I thought
you'd never ask.
473
00:21:23,660 --> 00:21:24,416
Fran?
474
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:26,416
Val, I'll dance with you
later. I promise.
475
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,283
Mr. Sheffield,
476
00:21:35,316 --> 00:21:38,000
what are you doing here?
477
00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:39,466
Well, just after you left,
478
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,000
Mr. Estrada's publicist called
479
00:21:42,330 --> 00:21:45,366
to confirm dinner reservations
for after the show.
480
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,500
So I thought maybe you'd
have some room
481
00:21:48,830 --> 00:21:49,300
left on your dance card.
482
00:21:49,333 --> 00:21:51,316
Oh, aren't you a doll.
483
00:21:53,350 --> 00:21:57,133
♪ ...to change our destiny ♪
484
00:21:57,166 --> 00:21:57,466
You look lovely tonight.
485
00:21:59,166 --> 00:22:00,160
Even with the hair?
486
00:22:01,183 --> 00:22:02,416
Oh, I like it.
♪ When will they learn ♪
487
00:22:02,450 --> 00:22:05,100
You can actually see
over your head.
488
00:22:05,133 --> 00:22:09,150
♪ That a heartDoesn't draw a line? ♪
489
00:22:09,183 --> 00:22:10,383
♪ Nothing matters ... ♪
490
00:22:10,416 --> 00:22:12,116
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
I'll never forget
491
00:22:12,150 --> 00:22:14,166
that you did this
for me tonight.
492
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:15,300
Well, I know how much
it meant to you.
493
00:22:21,150 --> 00:22:24,000
♪ Two different worlds ♪
494
00:22:24,330 --> 00:22:26,383
Mr. Sheffield, you are quite
a little dancer there.
495
00:22:26,416 --> 00:22:30,200
[GIGGLES] Everyone's
staring at us.
496
00:22:30,233 --> 00:22:32,316
What do you say we give them
an eyeful, hm?
497
00:22:32,350 --> 00:22:33,250
[GIGGLING]
Okay.
498
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:44,400
♪ That ourTwo different worlds ♪
499
00:22:44,433 --> 00:22:50,316
♪ Are one ♪
500
00:22:50,350 --> 00:22:51,250
[FABRIC RIPS]
501
00:23:10,416 --> 00:23:13,160
when they turned my room
into a den.
502
00:23:13,500 --> 00:23:14,100
Val, you're still
livin' at home.
503
00:23:14,133 --> 00:23:15,383
I know.
504
00:23:15,416 --> 00:23:17,400
You'd think
they'd wake me
505
00:23:17,433 --> 00:23:19,216
so I could get off
the pool table
before they break.
506
00:23:22,283 --> 00:23:23,483
Thank God they
installed a wet bar.
507
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:24,333
At least you can shower.
35388
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