All language subtitles for LOL.Last.One.Laughing.South.Africa.S01E01.Comedians.Versus.Civilians.WEBRip.AMZN.en

South Africa.

The land of potholes, load shedding,

and politicians who can also pass
as comedians.

It's the home of the mkhaba, boerewors,
the taxi driver, amapiano,

and, of course, my personal favorite,

atchar.

It's good to be home.

And by home, I mean this place,
in the concrete jungle we call Jozi,

where 10 of your favorite South Africans
are going to be participating

in some of the most unenviable tasks,

where they try to make each other laugh
without laughing themselves.

Yes, it's exactly what it says on the can.

Welcome to
Last One Laughing: South Africa.

I'm your host, Trevor Noah.

You're probably asking yourself,

"Trevor, what kind of pozie of pain
is this? What is this place?"

Well, it's a really
wonderful place, actually.

It's a place where I can laugh
if I see something funny,

which is fantastic and, most importantly,

you can laugh, too.

So, all that's left now
is for you to sit back

and enjoy this masala of madness
from a safe distance.

And when I say "madness," I mean it, guys.

Remember, we've got 10 South Africans
who are as mixed as our national anthem.

Some of them are comedians.
Some are celebrities.

Some are car guards. You don't even know.

All that matters is that they'll
be inside this Last One Laughing house.

But, remember, no laughing. Six hours.

And, at the same time, they're doing
their utmost to make each other laugh.

As for me, I'm gonna be spending
most of my time in this room here.

This is where I'll be bloming while
I watch all of the action

in a room that I was told
would have some snacks.

Guys, what happened to the snacks?

You're probably wondering,
what is my job in all of this?

As the custodian of laughs,
I get to sit here

and watch everything that unfolds
in the house on these screens.

I'll see it all. Even if something
smells funny... I'm on it.

You know, you would think knowing
that Prime Video's in town

would make South Africans show up on time,
but here we are, waiting, waiting.

Wait. Hold on, hold on.
Here comes the first comedian.

This is so cool. I'm freaking out.

What a way to kick things off.
The one and only Tumi Morake.

The mother of all jokes
and many, many children.

I don't think I've ever seen
Tumi Morake not pregnant.

I was so happy to see
that there's so much space.

Hope that's not a punishable offense...

...but I need space to run away.

Is this witchcraft, or is it a camera?

I need to see a gag coming, I'll be fine.
If I don't see it coming...

Let's see if I can get them
to laugh right upon arrival.

Player number two. Jason Goliath.

Don't tell them the champion's here.

Oh, boy.

Oh, no! I'm leaving! No!

-I'm finished.
-Take those off!

The game has not even begun!

Why would anybody do this?
I should not be here,

but I'm here. Let's go.

-Stay out of my line of sight.
-No, it's me and you, like this.

-No!
-Hello, Tumi. Hello, Tumi.

Here we go.
All the fabulousness that is Lasizwe.

A social media superstar,
Lasizwe comes with multiple personalities.

-Oh, my gosh!
-No!

No! No, you're not a comedian!

-This is gonna take forever.
-Get out of here with your funniness!

I have arrived.

Yes, I'm just an all-round entertainer...

...bubbly person,
and I'm just looking for my next husband.

This is gonna be interesting.
So, not only comedians.

Already we're seeing it.
Comedians versus "people people."

Gonna be a problem.

Next contestant. Here we go.

My name's Mojak Lehoko.
Comedian, writer, and philanthropist.

Working with penguins all over Gauteng.

Like, six of them.

-Oh, no! Man, no!
-Oh, no!

I would also groan like that if a comedian
who looked like an accountant walked in.

He's gonna be tough.

How you guys doing? Are you well?

-No, we're not.
-Why? What's wrong?

No, I'm just your friend.
And, plus, you're my type, so, you know...

-What's going on now?
-And he's married, so, yeah.

Jason I know, you know, but Tumi also.

Great comedians, stand-up comics,
comical actors.

There I was, like, "This one makes sense."
Lasizwe threw me off.

Thando Thabethe.

The lady who's conquered television.

Hopefully, she can conquer
the Last One Laughing house.

Hello!

Where should I put all my stuff?

I don't know why I'm doing this.

I'm the giggliest person...

...and I make people laugh by laughing.

So, now you're asking me
to make them laugh, but not laugh.

I'm worried.
You're competitive, and you're committed.

You commit to things.

Except for men.

Cape Town in the house.

I know Glen Biderman-Pam intimately.
I'm in big trouble.

Glen Biderman-Pam. Look at us.

You should be worried.

-I should? Don't say that.
-He's good.

I have tactics.

Can't laugh when you're doing...

So, look out for that in the game.

Well, well, well, ladies and gentlemen,
Moonchild is in the building.

No, who is this?

I was surprised,
because I'm like, okay, comedians,

then you've got a really good actress,
she can act like a comedian,

I'm pretty much fucked.

-What are you doing?
-Nostrovia.

Don't open my atchar.

Now you're gonna smell it and put it back.

Our next contestant.

The bad boy of KZN, Robby Collins.

I'm very good friends with my niece.
She's three years old.

She taught me how to eye roll.
If you say something funny...

That's how I plan on getting through
my experience in the house.

Thank you, bro.

I love that you brought your bin
'cause we don't have a bin.

Nomzamo.
One of South Africa's best actresses.

Hopefully, she can act like she doesn't
find anything funny in this house.

It's gonna be an Oscar-winning performance
if she gets it right.

What's up, everybody?

I know that I am a target
for 99% of the people in there.

Celeste Ntuli,

the godmother
of South African stand-up comedy.

I'm the most famous,
funniest comedian in South Africa.

I deserve to be
a billionaire one day. That's all.

These motherfuckers, we must gang up
against them. Throw these ones away first.

Sure.

All right. Let's do this.

Listen to all that joy.
That joy has to disappear.

That is Trevor?

-It's him.
-Oh, my God, it's my crush!

Oh, my God, Trevor!
It is Trevor! I'm so excited!

Oh, my God, my bae!

Yes!

Yeah. Move your body like a snake, yeah?

I just gained 100,000 followers, guys!

My CV will now read,

"Hi, my name is Jason Goliath, and I have
done a show with Trevor Noah."

Full stop. End of CV.

Welcome, everybody,
to the Last One Laughing house.

Nice to see you all here together.

As you probably figured out,
I'll be the one who'll be watching you.

Because you know the rules of the game.

No laughing.

No laughing allowed. No smiling,
no cracking up, no giggling, no nothing.

If you do, you will lose the game.

And what is the game?
Making everybody else laugh.

If you want people to watch you,
we've got a stage for you.

All you have to do is go onto the stage,
bang on the drum.

Everybody has to come and watch.
There's no sitting by and doing nothing.

Also, there's two sounds
that you need to know.

The first sound is this one.

The cock crows in the morning, we start.

So, that sound means
the game is officially on.

And the next sound will be this.

Slow clap. Like a slow clap. That's great.
Yeah, that's great.

So, once you hear the vuvuzela,
it means somebody's broken the rules,

and when that happens,
I will be presenting them with a card.

First laugh, yellow card.

That's your warning.

You're one step away
from being removed from the game.

Second infraction, red card.

That means you're officially
out of the house.

You will not be the winner.

You will be joining me in my lair
as we watch the game together.

The good news is the last person

wins one million rand
for the charity of their choice.

Come on!

You're doing it for a worthy cause.

Remember, if you smile, you're hurting
those people in that charity.

Oh, my God!

-That is haibo. That's haibo.
-So dark.

So, you know the rules,

you know the colors, you know the sounds.
Don't make a mistake, I'll be watching.

Enjoy yourselves.
Hopefully, I won't see you soon.

-100%.
-Bye.

-Thank you, thank you.
-Bye! Later!

I can be Lasizwe Noah any day, babe.

Okay. It's time to wipe
those smiles off those faces.

Here we go, people.

Okay, now it's on.

There you go.

Have you seen my impression
of Tumi every other year?

-Impression?
-I'm doing an impression of Tumi.

I just wanted to close my eyes.

That cock crowed, and I was like,
don't look at anyone.

Don't look at anyone.

The problem with Mojak, man,

is not just the one-liner,
it's how he gives it to you.

And what I hate
is he's making me forget mine.

One Thabooty. Two Thabooties.

Two Thabootys,
and that's the name of the shop.

-Beautiful.
-Let me see it.

You don't have to twerk. It's either there
or it's not there. You know? And...

That's the best I can twerk.

I'm really worried about Glen.

If I keep him close,
he'll think we're friends

and maybe he'll let his guard down.

-Can I teach you how to twerk?
-Yes.

-Okay, come.
-Okay. We're twerking tunes.

You tune me twerking? How's that?
Out of 10, who's better twerking?

-Like that. I might have just shat myself.
-What's that?

-Already, Glen?
-Yeah.

Yes! I like that.

I'm gonna drink a...
I think I'm gonna get a G and T.

-I'm drinking vodka, me.
-Nice.

I'm gonna have tea,
'cause I'm a Christian.

-I've been meaning to chat to you.
-Don't.

Don't, okay. I just wanted to ask,
is everything okay with your order?

Glen? I just need...

-You just need.
-I just need one hour.

-I want to tell her a joke...
-I don't want to fuckin' know.

As soon as it went green,

everyone is trying to bring the funny,
bring the busy.

Nah, nah, nah. Watch these okes.

Thank you so much. I ordered coffee.

That's tea.

Yeah, so, I actually ordered coffee.

Don't be ungrateful.

Can I speak to the manager?

Did the white guy say he wants
to speak to the manager?

How often do you shat?

-Shop?
-Shat?

Shat on myself.

Every time I twerk,
a little bit comes out.

-So, if you do this, that's an entire...
-Okay.

That's an entire bathroom break.

-Bear that in mind.
-Okay.

Here's the thing, I cry when I shit.

-Every time, or just loose...
-Not just me?

-You also cry?
-Every time, or just the loose ones?

No, all the time.

No, then you understand,
there's something wrong with the exit.

When I shit, I have to shit like this.
Like I have makeup on.

Have you seen a doctor about this?

-No, it's natural.
-No.

-Is it painful? Why are you crying?
-No...

No, it's natural.
My mom, she cries when she shits.

I have to leave.

I'm not gonna stick around.

I'm gonna chat, and the second
feel a twitch in my face,

I'm moving on to the next.

What do NASA do
for their year-end function?

What?

They "plan it."

That's a nice dad joke. I like it.

They're such dumb, dumb jokes!

They "planet."

The truth is,
I hate Glen Biderman-Pam's comedy.

We're friends, but behind his back,
I talk bad.

Do you like pineapples?

-No. I'll eat them, but...
-Your hairstyle is inspired.

No, my hairstyle's inspired by a mop.

It's my first hour,
and I'm with crazy people, so I need to

not commit to any conversation,
and maybe squint my eyes

if they're acting funny, because I can't
really squint my ears.

So, good luck to me.

Moonchild looks very stressed right now.
Look at this face, look at that face.

We need to get Mojak engaging
in more conversations.

He's doing well to keep
himself out of things.

There's no one
that's Afrikaans in this room.

Don't know if that's on purpose...

Thought you were Afrikaans, Glen.

Well, I might be.
I'm half-Afrikaans on my manager's side.

On your manager's side?

I messed up that joke. I messed it up.

Was it a joke?

You told me that before, I think.

-Okay.
-You said you were Jew-ish.

That's not the same joke.

-That's a different joke? That's bad.
-Different joke.

I think drop it. You know?

I'm gonna struggle getting you out.
Really gonna struggle.

Okay.

Let's get Rihanna out.

All right. All right. Tumi Morake
switching things up. Here we go.

I need to eliminate the people
who are my Achilles heel.

It's on. It's on.

Welcome to America.

That's when you know things
are not going well.

When the national anthem
comes up randomly in a conversation.

Are you seeing this?
You see it? You see it?

It's starting to happen.
Smiles are coming.

-Come on!
-Come on.

What was that?

It's happening!

I've waited since they said
we're doing this to do this.

What?

-I think it was me.
-Oh, no.

I flicked my tongue too late.

Why do I have the sensation
as if I've just smiled here in my cheeks?

It must be me.

-It was me. It was me.
-Are you serious, Jason?

Let's do this.

Like an angry substitute teacher,
it's time to punish smiles.

You know who it was.

-Yeah.
-Oh, no.

My goodness, my goodness, my goodness.

-It wasn't me.
-Come and join. Come and join.

The vuvuzela has played. Who could it be?

Who could it be?

-All right, that was wonderful.
-I think it was me.

Thank you for that Ras Dumisani anthem.
I appreciated it.

It was beautiful, but it seems like
it caught some people out.

-Oh, no.
-Yeah.

You can't be serious.

There was a face that did
what it wasn't supposed to do.

You're joking.

And when that happens,
people get punished.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

There's a card coming out,
and that card is going to be a yellow one.

Oh, my goodness.

Let's take a moment.
Let's look at the replay.

-See who it might have been.
-Oh, no.

-It's me, guys.
-Oh, no.

No way.

Maybe could've been me.

It can't be her. She didn't smile.

Nothing brings out a smile
like the national anthem.

I felt at home when I sang the anthem.

I felt at home. That was a trap.

That's the part
where I didn't pay attention to,

and I wasn't ready for.

Moonchild, I regret to inform you
that, while you are very patriotic...

The Moonchild. The Moonchild.

-Least expected person!
-It's horrible.

The first smile on the Moon.

That was a perfectly crescent-shaped
giggle from the child of the sky.

There you have it.

Tumi, you can continue
as soon as I've left.

I'll see you guys in a bit. Enjoy. Enjoy.

Don't rush back here, please.

The joy of their pain.

We had all this pent-up laughter,

and Lasizwe and I decided just to laugh
as much as we can,

and I think that was
a little secret weapon of ours.

I feel like a balloon.
You know when you go...

And it expands, expands, expands,
like, the air inside is the laughter.

So you need to just like, press it down,

and I know that, like,
by six hours, I'll be fine.

Let the games resume.

-Okay, we're back.
-And don't fucking torture me.

-We're back.
-All right.

I'm doing the official opening.
It's gonna be so quick.

I've been avoiding laughing, but actually
would be nice to make someone laugh,

'cause I feel like I must
get some kills as well.

-Rihanna!
-Tumi!

-Tumi Morake, ladies and gentlemen.
-Thank you.

All right, here we go.

Okay, and, action.

I'm flipping this butt, so, yeah, I am...

What is happening?

You smell my fart and I really jam

I shake it

These people are crazy up here.

Like...

Yeah, yeah
Taste my coochie

That was my Super Bowl performance.

-Well done. Very good. Excellent.
-Well done.

Did you smell your coochie?

Yes, 'cause Rihanna did that. She went...

-How does it smell like?
-Placenta.

Like...

What the hell is going on here?

-Did you say it smells like placenta?
-Yeah?

I'd like to ask you
how you felt about that performance.

I really felt like it was a great opening.

We haven't had
an official opening to not laughing.

Very good, and who do you think you might
have got to laugh first with that one?

I might have Celeste,
except that Celeste is going...

When I have the eighth child,
she'll laugh,

but I'm still on number four.

Still on number four,
ladies and gentlemen.

I'm sorry for Tumi,
she gives birth to so many things

but that one died an untimely death.

Died an untimely death.

I would like to really take
a moment of silence for Tumi's joke.

To die no more

-Here lies Tumi's first gag.
-Yeah.

To die no more

You know your performance went badly
when people sing funeral songs afterwards.

So, my strategy is
to try and get a broad arsenal

of characters in my stage act.

-I'm doing Poof.
-Why would you do it now?

So that I'm not just stuck
with one particular angle.

-Think about it.
-Nothing's changing my mind.

How are you feeling?

-I'm 100% doing this.
-You've got a nice body.

Thank you, Lasizwe.

Is Glen getting naked?

-Okay.
-I'm rooting for you.

Underpant and everything.

I love you.

-Say "I love you, too."
-Love you, too.

-There you go.
-Love you, too.

I try to keep it surprising,

and trying to keep them on their toes

and give them what they're not expecting.

Mojak.

You don't want some gin and tonic?

You sure you don't
want some gin and tonic?

What do you want?

What do you want? Tell me what you want.

What do you want, Mojak?

Okay, I'm back, I'm back.

You sound like Halle Berry
in that movie, it's not...

Halle Berry?

I feel like, of everybody here,

Mojak has done the best job
of staying out of trouble.

Look at him. Look at him.
Stay away from the action, Mojak.

I feel like I'm gonna need
to get him involved, push him in.

As I'm seeing people running around,

it's hard to figure out what's going on,

but I sense they have a nervous energy.

It's an attempt to get rid of it
in some shape or form.

Like, if I'm going to,
the problem is on the airline.

-Yeah.
-Going to the bathroom,

it's not a number one, it's a number two.

Now, there's no space to turn.

So I've got to reverse,
turn, and then enter.

I see. That must be so difficult.

More embarrassing,
now everybody can see you.

Because you need the back.

'Cause sometimes you walk in thinking
it's not a number two.

-Then you start releasing.
-Shit.

There's a lot of shit-talking happening
here, like, like a lot of...

-Low-hanging fruit.
-Scatological humor, I see.

I see what's happening.

Yeah, thank you, Mojak. Thank you, Mojak.

-Yes, thank goodness!
-We've got a show!

Something to distract us.

We've got a show.

It is touch and go here.

Hey!

Boys and girls! Sit down, boys and girls.
Sit down. What's your little name?

Robert.

You look like fake Trevor Noah.

You all look so beautiful.
My name is Poof the Magic Man.

I know Celeste well,
and if I look at her face right now,

when Mr. Poof is doing his thing,
I'm gonna start laughing.

Thank you.

-Let's go, Poof!
-Go, Poof!

-Want to know why they call me Poof?
-Poof! Poof! Poof!

Poof! That's why.

-That's for you, little man.
-Thank you.

-Thank you.
-Unbelievable.

I need those after the show
because they're expensive.

-You can't get those anymore.
-We give thanks.

Thank you. Boys and girls,
who's ready to see some magic?

I need more from you, please.

Thank you.

Okay, everybody's got
a little bit of magic deep inside them.

Deep inside them.

He is committing. It's all over the place,
and I'm struggling to keep it together.

What you do is you breathe in like this.

Breathe in.
Sho Madjozi, you didn't breathe in.

-Well done.
-That's racist.

Then... Well done. Now, who's ready
to see a little bit of magic?

Yeah!

I was breathing out quite heavily
and making kind of this puffy face.

The bits were getting to me,
and I don't want to go out like this.

It is too early into the game
to lose to this random clown.

This devil Glen, the tactic of going,
"Yay, take part,"

and making me freakin'
move my lips is the trap.

Now, what I'm gonna need is a volunteer.

How about you, little fat man?

I'd really prefer not to.

No? Okay.

-I'm coming but I'd prefer not to.
-Thank you. Okay.

Poof didn't surprise me at all,

because it was a very Glen thing to do.

I also think if
everything fails in Glen's life

and cancel culture eventually
makes him broke,

guess who's coming to perform
at your daughter's birthday party? Poof!

I'm gonna ask you to put
the gold coin in Poof's pouch.

-Can I not eat it?
-Don't eat it yet.

Okay, now I'm gonna use your magic blow.

One, two...

Oh, man.

...three. Blow!

Look at that!
And put your little fat hand in there.

See if you can find it.

Oh, no. Where's it gone?

-It's not here.
-Here!

-It's not there. It's not there.
-It's here!

-It's not there.
-You can see it!

It's not fuckin' there. It's not there.

Look, everybody. It's not fuckin' there.

Now we're gonna get it back for you,
'cause I know you wanna eat it.

Yes, are you little ready?
One, two, three. Blow!

-Where is it? Poof.
-Poof!

And where is it? Not there. No.

What are we doing?

We're doing some magic.

This is long, not gonna lie.

-But carry on.
-Thank you.

Give him a round of applause,
ladies and gentlemen.

Yeah! Carry on, sorry.

Thought his name was Poof 'cause that's
what happened to his comedy career.

Poof. One day it was there, then gone.

Shots fired.

I actually played Hamlet.

Says he's a director now.

Excuse me. Hello. I actually played Hamlet
at the Nico Malan Theatre, okay?

Back when Trevor Noah was still poor.

When Trevor was poor, he came up to me
after the show and he said, "Well done."

Poof. We love you, Poof.

Oh, no.

-Oh, no!
-Oh, no. I think we've got two.

We're fucked.

Come fetch me, Trevor, take me!

Fuck!

The panic before I walk out.

-Doesn't it feel like you just smiled?
-Yeah.

I hate this game. I've forgotten
all of my jokes, I'm so nervous.

And then?

Now I'm in trouble.
Like, "Yeah, I played myself."

And then...

Like, yeah, fuck.

I'm out.

It's not me.

Shit.

And then...

When Trevor walks in,
I'm expecting to see my face.

I don't know.
I don't know how it's gonna end.

I know it's not me.

Can I have an attention, please?

Yeah!

I'm fighting, with every sinew in my body,
the desire to want to laugh.

Wouldn't be South Africa
if we didn't make animal sounds, I guess.

Horrible, horrible thing to look at.

I ran away.

Calm down. I'm going into panic mode.

Oh, no!

Here you go!