All language subtitles for Smallville.S08E05.1080p.BluRay.Remux.eng

Let there be cake.

I didn't mean to cut your head off.
I'm just under a lot of pressure here.

- Uh, who wants cake?
- Oh, yeah, I do.

Another glass of bubbly.

And throw in a Shirley Temple
for the lady.

Lois, don't you think
you might wanna pace yourself?

Believe me, Smallville,
I am a lot more obnoxious sober.

And the last thing anyone wants

is me making a scene
at this blessed event.

Chloe is barely legal.

And she is getting herself hitched

to the first guy who's shown
her any attention.

Present company excepted.

I have suffered enough heartache
to know real love when I see it.

And looking at those two...

I don't know.

I don't see it.

Are you sure
you're not just jealous that

your little cousin's
beating you to the altar?

This isn't a competition.

Then why are you keeping score?

Listen, Lois, it may not kill you
to just show a little support.

You want support?

I'll show you support.

Oh, good idea. Here we go.

Ladies and gentlemen,
my name is Lois Lane.

Most of you know me as Chloe's cousin,

a.k.a. the maid of honor.

When Chloe and I were little girls,
we made a promise.

Neither of us would get married
until we found our soul mates.

The one person in the whole wide world
that we are destined to be with.

Which is why you can't take
a ten-year-old on their word.

Okay, come on.

What I think Lois is trying to say

is that you can't predict

when you will find that special someone.

And Jimmy is, without a doubt,
that special someone for Chloe.

I've known Chloe
since the eighth grade...

and we've been through a lot together.

In all those years,

the truth is, I've never
seen her so happy.

Congratulations. To Jimmy and Chloe.

To Jimmy and Chloe.

So we'll see you guys
in a few months.

Thank you so much. You guys are great.

- Thanks. Bye.
- Bye.

You know, it's a shame your parents

couldn't be here today.

I would have really loved to celebrate

your impeccable taste with them.

Well, they send their love.
Dad is this close

to closing a big deal in London.

His, uh, priorities are
a little out of whack,

but he means well.

I still hope
you enjoyed yourself tonight.

You know what was my favorite part

of the evening?

If you say Lois' toast,
I'm getting a prenup.

God, no. Heh.

When Clark was toasting us,
I looked at you,

and you had the most wonderful smile
on your face.

You know, it really means a lot to me
that you're finally okay with Clark.

Me being uptight about you and Clark
is yesterday's news.

There may be a textbook's worth
of history between the two of you,

but the future's
all Chloe and Jimmy's story.

I think it's about time we head upstairs
for some much needed alone time.

Oh, I think that is a fantastic idea.

Hey.

Somebody save me

Let your warm hands
Break right through

Somebody save me

Don't care how you do it

Just stay, stay

Come on

I've been waiting for you

Just stay with me

I've made this whole world
Shine for you

Just stay, stay

Come on

Smallville?

Good afternoon, Lois.

I thought you might need one of these.

Please, tell me we didn't...

You're hysterical
when you're hung-over, Lois.

Don't worry...

you got changed all by yourself.

In the middle of the kitchen,
for like an hour.

I take it I took a little drive
on the porcelain highway.

It was more like a cross-country trip.

You know, I get...

You didn't have to
take care of me last night.

I would've been perfectly fine
on my own at the Talon.

I don't think Jimmy and Chloe would have

been up for the Whitesnake sing-along.

Chloe.

Uh, I was supposed to

meet her for a dress fitting
first thing this morning.

Do you need a ride?

You may have held my hair,

but I don't need you
to hold my hand, Smallville.

This may shock you,
but I can still drive a car.

Not if it's not here.

This may shock you,
but you were in no condition

to get behind the wheel
last night, Lois.

Thanks for the ride?

What do you mean
you can't find the IP address?

The e-mail came through a ghost router.

As soon as we saw it,
the router vanished from the grid.

At the very least, this could prove
Mr. Luthor is still alive.

Or it could prove
that someone is toying with me.

Find out who took the crystal.
Or find a new line of work.

You know what's amazing to me?

You can't find time to return my calls,

but you do manage
to fit it into your busy schedule

to buy the Star City Towers
right out from under me.

Business is business.

Well, this is not about business.

And to be honest with you,
revenge is not your best color.

Don't flatter yourself.

One of the most important things
that Lex taught me

is you can't afford to live in the past.

Did Professor Luthor also teach you
a thing or two about deception?

Or how about obsession?

I hear his class in murder's an easy A.

He's done more for this world
than you ever will, Oliver.

He dedicated his life
to making it a safer place.

You know, Mercer, it seems to me...

like Lex may have been
a little bit more than a mentor.

If you're done wasting my time,
I have phone calls to make.

Look, uh, I'm sorry.

Really, I didn't come here
to battle with you.

Actually, I came here
to raise the white flag.

How civil.

What do you propose, a truce?

Well, truce, yeah...

over dinner.

You haven't changed one bit.

Oliver always wants
what Oliver can't have.

You know,
sometimes a meal's just a meal.

You can pick me up at 7:00.

7:30 it is.

Chloe.

Jimmy.

You know what Lois likes to see
when she comes home? Pants.

Pants on everyone.

I had no idea Jimmy was so romantic.

Guess the Olsen's not so wholesome.

Chloe, it's your cuz.

Guess who came to my rescue.

Not Oliver Queen. Heh. Clark Kent.

He is just the sweetest boy
I have ever known...

Chalk that one up to alcohol poisoning.

This is Smallville PD impound

for a Chloe Sullivan and a James Olsen.

Your vehicles were just brought in
for obstructing a street cleaner.

You have 90 days...

They didn't even come home last night?

Then where the hell are they?

Chloe. Are you okay?

I think so. Where are we?

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here today to find out
if these two were truly meant to be.

Lois, I checked the Metropolis
and the Smallville hospitals,

as well as the airport.

- No sign of Jimmy or Chloe.
- You covered a lot of ground.

You need to find the right people
to ask. You find anything?

Chloe and Jimmy aren't the only couple
that's gone missing, Clark.

At least three couples
in the last two weeks

have vanished without a trace.

All engaged?

Credit cards haven't been touched.

Phone records show no sign of activity.

The list goes on and on.

So unless Oprah said
eloping was in for fall...

They've all been abducted.

I called the police,
they won't even declare

Jimmy and Chloe missing for 24 hours.

What kind of person would prey on people

during the happiest time of their lives?

You know, if I hadn't been too drunk
to go home last night,

I would have been there to stop it.

Or you would have been missing too.

Don't worry, Lois. We'll find them.

We should cross-reference
Jimmy and Chloe

with the other two victims.

See if they have anything in common.

One step ahead of you.

Jimmy, Chloe, and the other couples

all visited the same wedding vendors

within the last 10 days.

A bakery, a jewelry store,
and a stationery shop.

To name a few.

That stationery shop
is right around the corner.

I'm gonna check it out.

I'll call if I find anything.

Whoa, no way am I putting
my cousin's life

in the hands of a mild-mannered
copy boy. Try to keep up.

The art of abduction
is surprisingly difficult.

It's easier
when I find couples together.

Saves time.

Well, we'd hate to inconvenience you.

It's no trouble at all. It's my duty.

- What... What is that?
- This is a lie detector.

It's fairly harmless
and not complicated at all.

In fact, when you get right down
to it, it's really quite simple.

All it does is listen to your heart.

I guess you expect us to believe
that's harmless too.

No. This is electricity.

Electricity hurts.

Is this how you get your kicks?

Torturing innocent people?

It's not torture.

I'm doing you a favor.

Not everyone is meant to be married.

Countless couples rush

headlong into marriage.

Ignorant to responsibility,

to the burden of truth

that comes
with that level of commitment.

Those that are truly dedicated
have no secrets.

Let's warm up with an easy question.

James...

Have you ever cheated
on your fiancée before?

No.

Stop! Don't hurt her!
I'm the one that lied! You hurt me!

Lies don't hurt you.
Lies hurt the ones you love.

You be honest.

It wasn't really cheating.

I mean, this crazy woman, she kissed me

and I had a freaking heart attack,
and I wound up in the hospital.

I know. I know it wasn't your fault.

You are the only girl...

I've ever loved.

That will do for now.

Let's see what the bride has to say.

I wonder...

how many lies is she hiding behind.

If this were the last place on Earth,
and I had to write an SOS,

I wouldn't come for a nib or a quill.

Thank you for your time.

Lois, we're not gonna get anywhere

if you shake down
every person we talk to.

He was stonewalling us.

You have to put the screws to a perp
when the clock is ticking!

He was 70 years old, Lois.
He spent the night in the hospital.

He still had his bracelet on.

Clark, my cousin, your best friend,
is missing.

She could be hurt or dying or worse.

Which is exactly why
we can't waste any more time.

Okay, genius, what do you wanna do?

You should go back to the Daily Planet.

See if those background checks
we ordered came in.

And just what do you plan on doing alone
that we can't do together?

A lot.

Wait a minute.

The guy is preying on couples, right?

No, don't even go there.

So, if we walk in there
pretending to be the bait,

we'll have him eating out of our hands.

No one will believe it, Lois.
Not even for a second.

Clark Kent...

will you marry me?

A smile every now and then
wouldn't kill you.

In short supply, Lois.
I wouldn't wanna waste one.

Can I help you?

Well, we are finally out ring shopping.

Who's the luckiest girl
in the world? I am.

Friends of ours said
your store is the best place in town

to find engagement rings.

Is there a certain piece
you'd like to see?

Well...

What about this one, pumpkin?

Anything you want, muffin.

Must be great
seeing so many happy couples

come through here every day.

It certainly is.

It's very fulfilling helping to solidify
the bond between husband and wife.

Excellent craftsmanship.

A perfect circle,
no beginning and no end.

Try it on. See how it looks.

Don't get stage fright, poodle.

You're gonna have to
do this center stage

in front of a packed house
sooner than you think.

He has performance anxiety.

Look at that. A perfect fit.

What are you two doing here?

Oliver, uh,
didn't get the invitation yet?

Invitation to what?

Tell him, cupcake.

Lois and I are...

We're getting married.

You're just full of surprises lately,
aren't you, Clark?

I know, right?

I mean, we've been friends for so long,

but we just had this, um,
one magical night.

And we couldn't
deny our feelings any longer.

Is this true?

I'm afraid so.

See you at the wedding.

She has great taste.
You're a very lucky man.

You have no idea.

I swear, if you're this afraid
of pretend commitment,

what's gonna happen
when some poor girl makes the mistake

of actually falling for you?

This isn't working, Lois.
We need to split up.

We can track down more leads
if we go in opposite directions.

- And what if you get into trouble?
- I think I'll be okay.

You know, you're drifting
dangerously close to cocky.

What, no snarky comeback
from the peanut gallery?

Please don't do this.

You should be pleading with me
to continue.

If only someone had taken the time
to do this for my wife and I.

You hook her up to your machine?

Something tells me
she didn't walk out of here.

I cherished her, James. I honored her.

I did everything that I promised
when I took my wedding vows.

And how does she reward me?
With one lie after another.

She never knew...

but I could smell him on her.

So you killed her.

You see, the heart and the mouth
are not always on the same page.

Get the hell away from her.

Chloe...

have you ever cheated on your fiancé?

No.

Excellent. Next question.

Are you in love with anyone else?

Don't answer him, Chloe.
Don't give him the satisfaction.

No!

Your fiancé is not the best person

to be taking advice from at this moment.

Now, I'm gonna ask you one more time.

Are you in love with anyone else?

No.

Only you, Jimmy. Forever.

Congratulations,
James Olsen, Chloe Sullivan.

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Mercy.

We got dinner reservations at Hob's Bay
in just under an hour.

I like to work up an appetite.

You used to be better at this.

What happened to not being
interested in revenge?

This is not revenge.
This is just practice.

Weak men like you make me stronger.

So you learn that Lionel
killed your parents,

and what do you do?

You drink yourself
onto the society page.

For what? Like, a month?

Well, you know me,
I like to keep myself busy.

You still can't take
anything seriously, can you?

Just like our relationship.

You know how much you meant to me.

Yeah, that became clear
when I caught you with the waitress.

Or was she a hostess?

How many times do I have to apologize?

I don't want an apology.

I want an explanation.

What the hell were you so afraid of?

You.

Clark, it's Lois.

I spoke with the police,

and they told me that
I think I should, uh...

Do you mind? Your high beams
are burning holes into my skull.

Look, I don't know what to do anymore,

so can you give me a call
as soon as you get this? Bye.

You'll be seeing
your fiancé soon enough.

Son of a bitch.

Oh, my God.

Jimmy. Jimmy, wake up.

We're okay.

What the hell happened?

The last thing I remember,
that guy pulled out that gun

and everything went black.

I told you we'd make it out.

Is this that masked man's idea
of some kind of a twisted joke?

Uh, I'm gonna have to take the credit
for this one.

And for the record,
it was all a lot less creepy yesterday.

You know,
I don't think I'd still be alive

if I was sitting
across anyone else in that room.

Because we're meant to be together?

Because things like that
don't happen to people by accident.

No.

Because you don't have any secrets.

We should call the sheriff.

Okay.

And if you hear
anything again, just get a hold of us.

We appreciate your help.

- I'm glad you two are okay.
- Clark, what is it?

It's Lois. I can't find her.

She left me a voice mail, and then
she never made it back to the Planet.

She was saying something
about car headlights.

Headlights?
That's what he used when he took us.

- Why would he want Lois?
- It's a long story,

but if there's anything you can
remember, it might help me find Lois.

Uh, this guy,
he's a certifiable wack job, C.K.

He was talking about how secrets kill.

- And our bond.
- Stuff about lies begetting lies.

What did he say about your bond?

I don't know.

Uh, he was talking about
how important it is

to solidify the bond
between husband and wife.

I know who has Lois.

Tell me right now,
what did you do with my cousin?

Where is she?

Lois?

- Lois.
- Clark.

You gotta find Chloe and Jimmy.

He let them go. Lois,
I'm gonna get you out of here.

But you need to tell me, where is he?

Right behind you.

Clark.

Clark?

Wake up.

Clark.

Clark.

Wake up.

I know who you are!

Then I suppose
I won't be needing this anymore.

Now that we're all acquainted.

Let's begin.

What's the point?

Now that we've both seen your face,

you're gonna kill us anyway.

Don't be so certain.

You must really care about her
storming in here.

It's very gallant of you.

Yeah, he's stupid that way.

Let her go.

After her turn, you'll get yours.

My turn?

What is this, some kind of game?

No.

No, it's a test.

To reveal how much you two
have been hiding from one another.

If you pass, you'll want to invite me
to your wedding.

If you fail...

well, the guest list
will be the least of your worries.

Ladies first.

Have you ever cheated on your fiancé?

Of course not. Don't be ridiculous.

What are you doing?

You're killing him!

No. Your lies are.

Okay, okay.
I take it back then. I'm sorry.

Just don't hurt him again.

Killing us...

it won't take away the pain
that pushed you here.

I'm doing this for you.

What?

The broken-hearted are the walking dead.

Either way, I'm saving you both
a lot of unnecessary pain.

Okay, crazy, this is the deal.

We're not even really a couple.

So this twisted test
doesn't mean anything.

Next question.

Deep down, underneath it all,
do you love this man?

Answer the question, Lois.

Don't out think it.

Just tell the truth.

Do you love him?

Tell the truth.

Do you love him?

Yes.

And you...

do you love this woman?

Speak up. She can't hear you
if you don't speak up.

Lois.

- Clark?
- Lois, are you okay?

Hmm.

I'm not sure.

Let's get you out of here.

The one person in the whole wide world
that we were destined to be with.

Which is why you can't take a...

Yeah, that's pretty much how I felt.

Oh, my God, Chloe, I am so sorry.

I mean, I know my face is
under "faux pas" in the dictionary,

but this is a whole new low.

I would say that this is a close second

behind the time you crashed
Lana's engagement party.

In fact, you may wanna start avoiding
engagement parties altogether.

Chloe, it's not funny.
I ruined your special night.

Lois, considering how the night ended,

I'd say that the party
was a rousing success.

Besides, you were just being honest,

though you could have been
a little less public about it.

Lois, why didn't you just tell me
that this is how you felt?

I don't know.

Look, Clark and Lana went south.

Things fell apart between me and Ollie.

Just knowing that I had everything
that I wanted right in front of me...

and having it slip away.

I just didn't want to see you
have that kind of heartache.

Lois, you are the most
wonderful big cousin

in the world for thinking that.

But trust me, I wouldn't have said yes
if I didn't know it was meant to be.

How can you be sure?

Because when I look at Jimmy,
I can just feel it, in my heart.

I mean, sunset or dungeon, he's my guy.

Wow.

Color me jealous.

Clark was right after all.

He usually is. Get used to it.

Get used to what?

To being a member of the family.

Congratulations, Jimmy.

What was that all about?

You and me, oddly enough.

Speaking of which,
I have something you need to see.

After the Spanish Inquisition,

I was thinking we deserve
an extra-long honeymoon.

So maybe Bora Bora? Saint-Tropez?

Chloe.

Before you start booking anything,
there's something you need to know.

As insane as that guy was,
he made a great point.

If we're gonna make it...

we can't have any secrets
from each other anymore.

Yeah, but if the last 12 hours
have proven anything,

it's that we don't have
much left to hide.

Yeah, there is.

I'm not who you think I am.

The sudden knot in my stomach tells me

this isn't you embracing
your inner Nietzsche.

My parents aren't coming to the wedding.

They, uh...

Well, they actually don't exist.

Well, I mean, they do.
Of course they do.

They exist. It's just that...

My dad's not an investment banker
in Manhattan.

He's a part-time mechanic

and full-time alcoholic
in Oklahoma City.

I never even really met my mom.

Why would you keep
something like this from me?

This city, it's huge.

It's the top of the world
coming from where I come from.

And the only way
I could fit in was to...

be someone else.

Why didn't you trust me?

I know.

I'm sorry. I'm...

so sorry.

I screwed up big-time.

And I totally understand
if you need some time or even if...

If you want out.

A guy like me...

doesn't get a girl like you, Chloe.

Life, it doesn't work like that.

Yeah, it does.

So much for breakfast in bed.

I'm late for a meeting in Metropolis.

You know, some of us
still have corporations to run.

Oh, that's right. I forgot.
Although I've got this funny feeling

that you could probably find
somebody else to answer your phones.

I'm thinking more like, um,
dinner in Malibu

in time for the sunset. What do you say?

Is that a hint of romance I detect?

I can't stop myself.

Save it...

in case you wanna tip another hostess.

There was nothing romantic
about last night, Oliver.

I had an itch. You scratched it.

Tess, what happened to you?

I grew up.

And you left right when things started
to get interesting.

You know the way out.

You're not avoiding me, are you?

Me? Why would I be avoiding you?

I was just shopping for wedding gifts
for Chloe and Jimmy.

So you're finally on board
with the happy couple.

Yup. All it took was them passing
a madman's electric-Cosmo death quiz,

and I am sold.

In or out?

You know, all things considered,
stairs are better for cardio.

Come on. Statistically,
this is the safer way to travel.

He confessed. The jeweler.

I heard. Five couples?

So, uh, about that test...

Um.

Who would have thought
you were such a good liar, huh?

I mean, you even beat that machine.

Even though I'm a natural
master of deception,

I needed a little help.

I mean, that machine was a piece
of kaiser-era junk.

I mean, it did work the first time,
you know, when you electrocuted me.

Exactly.

So while he was off playing
game-show host,

I slipped the sensor off my finger.

Pretty crafty, huh?

So you weren't telling the truth.

Please. I mean, we do make a good team.

But don't let our cover
go to that big old head of yours.

I didn't.

- Good.
- Great.

Let's just be happy
that I was under the gun and not you.

And why's that?

Smallville, everyone knows
you're a terrible liar.

Who knows where we'd be
if you'd answered that question?