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1
00:00:11,150 --> 00:00:15,750
Gerry, man, why's it always
me that does all the hard graft?
2
00:00:15,830 --> 00:00:18,390
Cos you're the one
with the shovel.
3
00:00:18,470 --> 00:00:20,430
Ah, right.
4
00:00:20,510 --> 00:00:22,870
Aye, but even
when there were no shovels,
5
00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:25,990
it's still me
does the heavy, horrible stuff.
6
00:00:26,070 --> 00:00:29,270
That's cos you're the one
that's heavy and horrible.
7
00:00:29,350 --> 00:00:32,580
Sewell, man, watch what you're doing.
I want straight edges.
8
00:00:32,670 --> 00:00:37,380
What do you mean? It's pitch
bloody black. Make do with zigzag.
9
00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:39,430
Here!
10
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,910
Aw, shite!
That was me last one.
11
00:00:47,390 --> 00:00:49,350
Ha'way, activity! Step on it, Sewell!
12
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,700
Aw! Fuck, man, Sewell! You...
13
00:00:52,790 --> 00:00:55,460
Jesus,
I need some bloody light, man.
14
00:00:59,110 --> 00:01:00,620
- Fuck it!
- Shit!
15
00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:02,060
Come 'ere!
16
00:01:20,550 --> 00:01:23,300
'Finally, a spokesman
for Newcastle United
17
00:01:23,390 --> 00:01:27,150
'described last night's theft of
a penalty spot from St James's Park
18
00:01:27,230 --> 00:01:29,190
'as an act of mindless vandalism.
19
00:01:29,270 --> 00:01:33,580
'Head groundsman Charlie Harrison
had just one word for it - sacrilege.
20
00:01:33,670 --> 00:01:35,740
'Travel and weather coming up next.'
21
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:38,140
I don't understand it.
22
00:01:38,230 --> 00:01:39,790
"Sacrilege?"
23
00:01:39,870 --> 00:01:43,340
Well, it's, you know, making
a mess of something sacred, like.
24
00:01:43,430 --> 00:01:45,660
No, "mindless".
That's bollocks, man.
25
00:01:45,750 --> 00:01:48,220
We put a lot of thought into that.
26
00:01:48,310 --> 00:01:53,070
Like you said, if you can't
be a part of it, take a part.
27
00:01:53,150 --> 00:01:57,830
- Dad!
- Ha'way, son. Come on! That's it.
28
00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:04,580
Field of dreams,
eh, Sewell, man?
29
00:02:08,630 --> 00:02:12,420
We can be part of it.
I can see it now.
30
00:02:12,510 --> 00:02:16,350
We get in there dead early, like,
soak up the atmosphere.
31
00:02:16,430 --> 00:02:20,550
We'll buy us both a huge cup of tea
each. Two sugars, dead milky.
32
00:02:21,790 --> 00:02:24,100
And when the Magpies
come out,
33
00:02:24,190 --> 00:02:27,740
we'll get up and go bananas,
you know, like you do.
34
00:02:27,830 --> 00:02:31,710
Then they'll kick off and we'll
just be there, all comfy, like,
35
00:02:31,790 --> 00:02:35,420
in our seats, sipping our tea,
watching our Toon.
36
00:02:35,510 --> 00:02:38,630
- Belter, eh?
- What are you on about?
37
00:02:38,710 --> 00:02:40,670
Season tickets.
38
00:02:40,750 --> 00:02:43,550
- Season tickets, us?!
- Why, aye.
39
00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:45,380
Why not, like?
40
00:02:45,470 --> 00:02:49,990
They don't hand them out on the
Social. They cost about £500 each!
41
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:54,190
- So?
- So?! We're £500 short... each!
42
00:02:54,270 --> 00:02:58,230
So? You know what
you and me need, Sewell, man?
43
00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:00,830
Aye, about £1,000
by the sound of it.
44
00:03:00,910 --> 00:03:03,980
A mission. What do you say?
45
00:03:04,070 --> 00:03:07,590
All we get from thieving
and twoccing, put it aside.
46
00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:11,660
Anything we think of, we do.
We dinnae chuck it away, either.
47
00:03:11,750 --> 00:03:15,820
Pack in the tabs, pack in
the dope, no booze and no glue.
48
00:03:15,910 --> 00:03:18,790
We save everything up
for our season tickets.
49
00:03:18,870 --> 00:03:21,620
Well? There's a while
till the season starts.
50
00:03:21,710 --> 00:03:23,590
We could do it easy, man.
51
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:26,030
Right, you lot out of here.
52
00:03:26,110 --> 00:03:30,150
And you two, you little fuckers!
You're not supposed to be up here!
53
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:34,980
Know what we'll get,
when we get our season tickets?
54
00:03:35,070 --> 00:03:37,060
Something you and me have never had.
55
00:03:40,310 --> 00:03:42,060
Proper pies?
56
00:03:42,150 --> 00:03:45,220
Respect, Sewell, man.
Are you with us?
57
00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:50,660
Come on, clear off out of it,
you fuckin' little toerags!
58
00:03:52,630 --> 00:03:54,780
Aye, I'm with you, Gerry, man.
59
00:03:59,670 --> 00:04:03,140
We canna fail, man. Especially
with that lass looking after us.
60
00:04:03,230 --> 00:04:04,790
Who?!
61
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:08,550
The Guardian Angel of fuckin'
toerags. She'll see us through.
62
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,580
'Ere y'are, Son.
63
00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:14,390
Oh... Ta, Dad.
64
00:05:20,150 --> 00:05:23,380
Dad, did you make this from the tap?
65
00:05:23,470 --> 00:05:26,270
Aye, Son.
Is there something wrong?
66
00:05:26,350 --> 00:05:29,100
Hot's the one on the right, Dad.
67
00:05:32,190 --> 00:05:35,950
- I'll make you another.
- No, no, you're all right.
68
00:05:36,030 --> 00:05:38,230
I'm off out.
69
00:05:44,350 --> 00:05:48,580
Take your coat off, Sewell, pet.
You look like you've been lagged.
70
00:05:48,670 --> 00:05:50,660
I'm all right, ta, Mrs McCarten.
71
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:54,740
You must be sweating rivers
in there with all that blubber.
72
00:05:54,830 --> 00:05:58,740
I'm all right, Mrs McCarten, honest.
I wouldn't feel the benefit.
73
00:06:03,670 --> 00:06:05,340
- All right, Sewell?
- All right.
74
00:06:05,430 --> 00:06:08,150
All right, Mam?
All right, our Sheara?
75
00:06:08,230 --> 00:06:09,630
Jesus, she stinks.
76
00:06:09,710 --> 00:06:12,540
- So did you.
- Not like that, I'd remember.
77
00:06:12,630 --> 00:06:14,030
Still do sometimes.
78
00:06:14,110 --> 00:06:17,500
- Clare, what you doing?
- Got some stuff for Mam.
79
00:06:17,590 --> 00:06:20,390
- Still no Bridget, then?
- Nah.
80
00:06:20,470 --> 00:06:22,460
It's been three weeks now.
81
00:06:37,150 --> 00:06:39,270
You all right, Mrs McCarten?
82
00:06:39,350 --> 00:06:43,190
Never better, Sewell, son.
Never better.
83
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,150
Sewell, man, we gannin'?
84
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:48,190
Where you off?
Not be school by any chance, Son?
85
00:06:48,270 --> 00:06:51,310
I'm studyin'
at the University of Life.
86
00:06:51,390 --> 00:06:53,270
My arse.
87
00:06:53,350 --> 00:06:56,340
Sewell, man, can you not
talk some sense into...
88
00:06:56,430 --> 00:06:59,660
Nah, I'm askin'
the wrong person there.
89
00:07:00,790 --> 00:07:02,910
See ya.
90
00:07:04,470 --> 00:07:07,070
So what's the plan,
then, Gerry, man?
91
00:07:07,150 --> 00:07:09,510
Give us a chance.
92
00:07:09,590 --> 00:07:11,820
I could murder a tab.
93
00:07:11,910 --> 00:07:14,740
You've only been given up
ten minutes.
94
00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:17,500
That's a record for me.
95
00:07:17,590 --> 00:07:21,980
Oh, Jesus. It's starin'
us in the face, man.
96
00:07:22,070 --> 00:07:24,190
- What is?
- Scrap, man.
97
00:07:24,270 --> 00:07:26,180
The river's full of it, look.
98
00:07:26,270 --> 00:07:29,100
Folk are always chucking away
things they don't want.
99
00:07:29,190 --> 00:07:31,790
They don't want them,
cos they're useless.
100
00:07:31,870 --> 00:07:33,990
Hadaway,
there's loadsa money in scrap.
101
00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:36,670
- It's junk.
- We gotta start somewhere.
102
00:07:36,750 --> 00:07:40,870
Everything's worth something.
We just get in and pull it out.
103
00:07:40,950 --> 00:07:42,300
We?!
104
00:07:48,070 --> 00:07:50,140
Give us a hand, man.
105
00:07:50,230 --> 00:07:53,940
One of us must look good
if we're gonna sell anything.
106
00:07:54,030 --> 00:07:55,540
Rule one -
107
00:07:55,630 --> 00:07:59,510
you might get money outta shite,
but you canna smell like it.
108
00:08:04,070 --> 00:08:07,030
I'm trapped.
Gerry, man, I'm sinking!
109
00:08:10,470 --> 00:08:12,670
Shit!
110
00:08:14,950 --> 00:08:16,300
Gerry!
111
00:08:16,390 --> 00:08:19,700
Watch mud-monster,
and you shall learn.
112
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:23,420
Practical science, like. If you
stopped at school, you'd know.
113
00:08:23,510 --> 00:08:26,230
The bog first,
then I'll get you.
114
00:08:26,310 --> 00:08:29,670
Second rule of scrap -
leave the real shite till last.
115
00:08:32,390 --> 00:08:34,030
Rag and bone!
116
00:08:34,110 --> 00:08:37,310
- You're embarrassing, man.
- I'm embarrassing?!
117
00:08:37,390 --> 00:08:40,620
Look at you. Do you want
season tickets or not?
118
00:08:40,710 --> 00:08:43,380
Course I do, more than anything.
119
00:08:43,470 --> 00:08:45,540
Any old rag and bone!
120
00:08:45,630 --> 00:08:49,310
You're not the usual. Does Terry
know you're doin' this?
121
00:08:49,390 --> 00:08:53,620
You know, Terry, the gadgie
who normally comes round.
122
00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:56,180
You mean Uncle Terry. Aye.
123
00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:57,750
Hadaway you lying bastards.
124
00:08:57,830 --> 00:09:00,300
Come in, lads,
I've got something for you.
125
00:09:07,830 --> 00:09:10,220
Eee, is that the new look, then?
126
00:09:10,310 --> 00:09:12,190
- Eh?
- Pebble dash?
127
00:09:12,270 --> 00:09:16,060
You look like you've been stood
the arse end of an elephant.
128
00:09:16,150 --> 00:09:18,790
Away, you bastards!
They're me son's.
129
00:09:18,870 --> 00:09:21,070
It's a different one every week.
130
00:09:21,150 --> 00:09:23,900
14 of them in the house last night.
131
00:09:23,990 --> 00:09:25,660
They stink an' all.
132
00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:28,660
But he gans mad if I mention it.
133
00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:31,390
Anyway, lads,
this is what you can take.
134
00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:33,430
It's knackered, like.
135
00:09:38,950 --> 00:09:40,910
Get hold of the bastard!
136
00:09:42,590 --> 00:09:47,060
Shite! He'll murder me, he will.
His favourite, that.
137
00:09:47,150 --> 00:09:49,710
He'll gan mad if that one's not in.
138
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:53,230
What's he doin' in the fridge?
He's not a bloody penguin.
139
00:09:53,310 --> 00:09:57,700
He'd be in the microwave
if I had one. See ya, lads.
140
00:09:57,790 --> 00:10:00,310
- If I live.
- See ya. Ta.
141
00:10:20,630 --> 00:10:23,230
- Oh, hello, pet.
- Hello, Mother.
142
00:10:24,070 --> 00:10:26,630
Ah, you take after
your granddad, you do.
143
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:30,830
No words, just all dribble and puke.
144
00:10:30,910 --> 00:10:34,190
Never mind, your nana's here, pet.
145
00:10:34,270 --> 00:10:37,180
Your nana'll always be here for you.
146
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:39,990
Shall I sing to you?
147
00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:43,550
Shall I sing, my little Sheara?
148
00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:50,460
# I cannot get to my love
if I should die
149
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,750
# For the waters of Tyne... #
150
00:10:54,430 --> 00:10:55,990
#... between him and me... #
151
00:10:56,070 --> 00:10:57,790
Leave it.
152
00:10:57,870 --> 00:11:02,260
# And here I must stand
with a tear in my eye... #
153
00:11:02,350 --> 00:11:04,390
Not all phone calls are bad.
154
00:11:04,470 --> 00:11:07,620
Clare, pet, I'd know
if I'd won the bloody lottery.
155
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:13,630
# Both sighin' and sickly,
my true love to see... #
156
00:11:13,710 --> 00:11:18,790
It'll be the Social... or
the school... or the loan sharks.
157
00:11:18,870 --> 00:11:21,830
- Or Bridget.
- Or your dad.
158
00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:30,870
# Oh, where is the boatman,
my bonny hinny
159
00:11:30,950 --> 00:11:36,950
# Oh, where is the boatman?
Bring him to me
160
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:43,870
# To ferry me over the Tyne
to my hinny
161
00:11:43,950 --> 00:11:48,580
# Or scull him across
that rough river to me #
162
00:11:48,670 --> 00:11:51,140
Are you sure
this fella's gonna buy this?
163
00:11:51,230 --> 00:11:53,620
- Why, aye.
- Who is he?
164
00:11:53,710 --> 00:11:56,380
Ginga. He's made a mint out o' scrap.
165
00:11:56,470 --> 00:12:01,230
Oh, aye? And this'll be one
of his branches nationwide, eh?
166
00:12:02,950 --> 00:12:04,510
Knock louder.
167
00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:07,150
I think he's getting deaf,
old Ginga.
168
00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:11,780
Aye, well, tycoons cannot
have everything. Hold this, then.
169
00:12:17,990 --> 00:12:19,870
Huh!
170
00:12:22,070 --> 00:12:25,220
You must be canny hot
in that snorkel jacket,
171
00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:26,660
Harry Sewell's lad.
172
00:12:26,750 --> 00:12:29,420
- It's a bench coat.
- A bent stoat?
173
00:12:29,510 --> 00:12:34,270
A bench coat. A trainin' jacket.
Like footy managers wear.
174
00:12:34,350 --> 00:12:36,910
Fucking bandages,
what are you talkin' about?
175
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,430
We've - got -
you - some - stuff.
176
00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:44,790
Jesus, I'm not deaf.
I know! I've seen it.
177
00:12:44,870 --> 00:12:47,860
A knackered old fridge
and a busted bog.
178
00:12:47,950 --> 00:12:51,710
Bit of superglue, be good as new.
179
00:12:51,790 --> 00:12:55,260
Thanks very much, lads.
Nice of you to bring it round.
180
00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:57,420
Aye.
181
00:13:00,670 --> 00:13:02,070
Aye.
182
00:13:07,670 --> 00:13:09,870
We thought you might pay us, like.
183
00:13:14,270 --> 00:13:19,500
I've no money, lads. I'm what's known
as livin' beyond the cash economy.
184
00:13:25,870 --> 00:13:28,510
All right, then,
tell you what I'll do.
185
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,740
I'll take the fridge off you
186
00:13:30,830 --> 00:13:33,950
in exchange for owt round here
that you fancy.
187
00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:38,710
What a crackin' start
that was.
188
00:13:38,790 --> 00:13:40,380
Sweatin' and heavin' all day.
189
00:13:40,470 --> 00:13:43,070
Carrying cart loads of crap
all over Tyneside.
190
00:13:43,150 --> 00:13:46,060
And what do we get?
A fucking cuckoo clock.
191
00:13:46,150 --> 00:13:49,190
Ha'way,
a magpie cuckoo clock.
192
00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:51,020
Thank Christ for that, eh?
193
00:13:51,110 --> 00:13:54,150
Wouldn't wanna think
we was wastin' our time, like.
194
00:13:54,230 --> 00:13:57,670
Jesus, could murder a tab, me.
195
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:04,940
Ha'way, it's that hound.
Here, boy, come to Sewell.
196
00:14:06,990 --> 00:14:10,780
- Must have been trailing us.
- Following the stench of your coat!
197
00:14:10,870 --> 00:14:13,180
No, he just likes us, that's all.
198
00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:15,710
I think I'll call him... Rusty.
199
00:14:15,790 --> 00:14:20,070
He belongs to Matthew Brabin,
you saw mad he is.
200
00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:23,300
- He scares his own ma shitless.
- He's dead intelligent.
201
00:14:23,390 --> 00:14:27,230
Intelligent?! Let's see,
let's test it out.
202
00:14:27,310 --> 00:14:28,980
- Now, smelly hound.
- Rusty.
203
00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:31,140
Oh, aye. Rusty, you smelly hound.
204
00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:34,910
- What does a season ticket cost?
- He cannot answer that!
205
00:14:34,990 --> 00:14:37,870
He could tap the number out
with his feet.
206
00:14:37,950 --> 00:14:39,380
They're £500, man.
207
00:14:39,470 --> 00:14:42,940
He'd have nae bloody feet left.
He knows the answer.
208
00:14:43,030 --> 00:14:47,420
He's too smart to wanna go
about on stumps. Here, I'll show ya.
209
00:14:47,510 --> 00:14:49,470
All right, Rusty, listen.
210
00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:53,540
This is Gerry, the brains behind our
mission to get Toon season tickets,
211
00:14:53,630 --> 00:14:56,150
which, as you well know, cost £500.
212
00:14:56,230 --> 00:15:01,100
So, tell us, how many pounds
have we got so far, eh? Eh?
213
00:15:06,070 --> 00:15:07,900
Correct!
214
00:15:17,630 --> 00:15:20,940
From now on, Sewell,
we don't waste a second.
215
00:15:21,030 --> 00:15:24,180
And from now on, leave
the bright ideas to me, right?
216
00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:26,230
- Right.
- Right.
217
00:15:29,190 --> 00:15:32,020
#... passes the folks along
the road, just as they were... #
218
00:15:32,110 --> 00:15:34,580
Right, our Gerry.
Right, Sewell, hinny.
219
00:15:34,670 --> 00:15:36,660
What's up?
220
00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,580
Em... Mam's been on the phone.
221
00:15:38,670 --> 00:15:41,190
She's poorly so I'm takin' her
round the doctors.
222
00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:44,260
Don't you worry, Gerry.
Just me annual MOT.
223
00:15:46,030 --> 00:15:48,020
You not going to school?
224
00:15:48,110 --> 00:15:50,420
I have more periods than he does.
225
00:15:50,510 --> 00:15:54,350
- So what are you doing today?
- We've got plans, like.
226
00:15:54,430 --> 00:15:55,940
They're up to something.
227
00:15:56,030 --> 00:16:00,470
I don't know what, but it's not
helping old biddies across the road.
228
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:04,790
Gerry, pet,
look after Sheara for us.
229
00:16:06,790 --> 00:16:08,910
Usual fiver, like?
230
00:16:22,670 --> 00:16:25,340
# Daddy can't buy me an XR3
231
00:16:25,430 --> 00:16:28,980
# So if I see what I like,
well, I don't need keys... #
232
00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:31,030
Mind your car for ya?
233
00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:35,580
- Oh, for Christ's sake.
- Better safe than sorry.
234
00:16:41,150 --> 00:16:44,060
Fucking Jesus!
What do you want this early?
235
00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:45,900
To count our money.
236
00:16:45,990 --> 00:16:48,350
No counting till the first day
of the season.
237
00:16:48,430 --> 00:16:50,500
That's tomorrow.
238
00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:53,470
# Row by row
they've assembled clones
239
00:16:53,550 --> 00:16:57,020
# All these lovely little
houses with the no go zones
240
00:16:57,110 --> 00:17:00,660
# On the 22nd floor
and the view is great
241
00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:04,270
# Smoke stacks, car wrecks,
housewives wailing... #
242
00:17:07,750 --> 00:17:09,580
There's some pound coins there.
243
00:17:11,790 --> 00:17:14,540
# No excuses, no more trials
244
00:17:14,630 --> 00:17:18,910
# Every happy ending lies
245
00:17:24,870 --> 00:17:27,910
# Closing the door,
wishing for more
246
00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:30,030
# Closing my eyes
247
00:17:31,510 --> 00:17:37,270
# Listening to sirens harmonise
248
00:17:39,270 --> 00:17:42,020
# All tanked up
it's an adhesive bliss... #
249
00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:44,910
Stop that dog!
250
00:17:46,270 --> 00:17:49,230
# I'm a product
of the crack squad YTS
251
00:17:49,310 --> 00:17:53,380
# I've got a kneejerk reaction
like the SAS... #
252
00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:59,750
Aye, three Gazza specials.
One with not too much chilli.
253
00:17:59,830 --> 00:18:01,500
For the bairn, like.
254
00:18:01,590 --> 00:18:04,190
- Hiya, Gerry. All right?
- All right, Gemma?
255
00:18:04,270 --> 00:18:07,740
Hey, Sewell, I haven't seen you
for ages. You up to owt?
256
00:18:07,830 --> 00:18:10,390
Eee, bloody hell, you have been.
257
00:18:10,470 --> 00:18:13,830
That's not Sewell's man, Gemma,
that's our Clare's.
258
00:18:13,910 --> 00:18:17,140
Oh, aye. Eeh, canny.
She's got a rattle an' all.
259
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:19,140
- What's she called?
- Sheara.
260
00:18:19,230 --> 00:18:21,900
Not another Sheara,
they're everywhere, man.
261
00:18:21,990 --> 00:18:23,820
I wish she was mine.
262
00:18:27,030 --> 00:18:30,580
D'youse know Zack? He's goalminder
for Whitley Bay Warriors.
263
00:18:30,670 --> 00:18:32,950
- We're celebrating.
- Celebrating?
264
00:18:33,030 --> 00:18:35,910
- Aye, look.
- Eh, canny.
265
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,340
Aye, canny.
266
00:18:37,430 --> 00:18:39,230
So when's the happy day, like?
267
00:18:39,310 --> 00:18:42,190
End of next year sometime.
Soon as I'm 16.
268
00:18:42,270 --> 00:18:44,740
You're brilliant,
looking after the bairn.
269
00:18:44,830 --> 00:18:49,380
I'd say you were a New Man,
Sewell, but for that old coat.
270
00:18:49,470 --> 00:18:52,220
- Come on, Gemma.
- See you later, lads.
271
00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:55,750
- Later.
- Three Gazza specials.
272
00:18:59,150 --> 00:19:03,510
- Sewell, you dinnae still fancy her?
- Do you not, like?
273
00:19:03,590 --> 00:19:06,150
Not when she's goin' out
with a gorilla.
274
00:19:07,390 --> 00:19:09,750
- And the rest.
- Eh?
275
00:19:09,830 --> 00:19:11,900
- I gave you a 20.
- You never.
276
00:19:11,990 --> 00:19:13,790
- I did.
- You didn't.
277
00:19:13,870 --> 00:19:15,220
He did.
278
00:19:15,310 --> 00:19:19,780
I dinnae see them that often, but
I do know what they bloody look like.
279
00:19:34,310 --> 00:19:36,460
It's not right, man,
bringing her here.
280
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:40,780
We canna turn down a spot of
babysitting. A fiver's a fiver.
281
00:19:40,870 --> 00:19:44,660
Aye, well... I got her this.
282
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,390
Great! Give it her now,
while she's crying.
283
00:19:47,470 --> 00:19:49,940
That's her trying
to tell you she's thirsty.
284
00:19:50,030 --> 00:19:52,230
Here, babby, take a drink.
285
00:19:55,270 --> 00:19:58,390
Maybe she doesn't like Tango.
I'll get a Vimto.
286
00:19:58,470 --> 00:20:00,830
Bairns love Vimto.
287
00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:02,900
She's not thirsty, Sewell, man.
288
00:20:02,990 --> 00:20:05,590
- Eh?
- Jesus, man! Can you not smell it?
289
00:20:05,670 --> 00:20:07,180
Smell what?
290
00:20:08,830 --> 00:20:10,790
- Shit!
- Ah, that.
291
00:20:10,870 --> 00:20:12,830
It's our Clare.
292
00:20:20,590 --> 00:20:24,300
Gangway, lads.
And breathe through your mouths!
293
00:20:27,550 --> 00:20:31,150
- Take her, man, Sewell.
- What's he doing? Who's this?
294
00:20:32,990 --> 00:20:36,350
Ugh! Get up wind, all o' ya.
295
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,230
Sewell, man,
rip some o' that off, quick!
296
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:53,830
Mam, you all right?
297
00:20:53,910 --> 00:20:56,870
Clare says you're not good, like.
298
00:21:01,190 --> 00:21:03,100
Where's the telly?
299
00:21:03,190 --> 00:21:05,150
Dad, you bastard!
300
00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:08,300
Your bloody Auntie Maud,
the old cow.
301
00:21:08,390 --> 00:21:11,670
Got a fucking gob on her
like the Tyne Tunnel.
302
00:21:11,750 --> 00:21:14,350
What's he taken this time?
303
00:21:16,110 --> 00:21:18,070
Did he go into Bridget's room?
304
00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:21,510
You don't think I got this
for nowt, do you?
305
00:21:24,110 --> 00:21:27,990
- I'll put the kettle on.
- You'll have to buy one first.
306
00:21:31,670 --> 00:21:34,900
- Have you rang the Social?
- What with?
307
00:21:38,270 --> 00:21:40,390
Oh, come 'ere, Gerry, man.
308
00:21:50,230 --> 00:21:52,870
You skive school, you.
309
00:21:52,950 --> 00:21:54,910
You nick all sorts.
310
00:21:54,990 --> 00:21:57,740
Drink all sorts.
311
00:21:57,830 --> 00:22:01,190
You smoke, I don't know what.
312
00:22:01,270 --> 00:22:05,980
You do nothing, you... except
drive your poor mam mad.
313
00:22:08,030 --> 00:22:11,500
How that bastard ever produced
a lad as good as you,
314
00:22:11,590 --> 00:22:13,550
I'll never know.
315
00:22:28,110 --> 00:22:30,550
# Run a mile
316
00:22:31,830 --> 00:22:33,980
# Cos all the while
317
00:22:35,670 --> 00:22:38,580
# You're cramping my style
318
00:22:39,670 --> 00:22:41,900
# And bleeding me dry... #
319
00:22:44,110 --> 00:22:46,180
I think it's important to...
320
00:22:46,270 --> 00:22:50,470
you know, treat it as...
well, a fresh start.
321
00:22:50,550 --> 00:22:54,180
Clear the decks in your mind,
and start again.
322
00:22:54,270 --> 00:22:56,910
Maureen,
you're like a cracked record.
323
00:22:56,990 --> 00:23:00,270
You said that last time
and the time before.
324
00:23:00,350 --> 00:23:02,150
He'll find us again.
325
00:23:02,230 --> 00:23:05,030
He's a monster,
but he's not an idiot.
326
00:23:05,110 --> 00:23:06,620
Not here.
327
00:23:06,710 --> 00:23:09,990
You're wasted in social work.
You should be a comedian.
328
00:23:10,070 --> 00:23:12,350
We're only trying
to make things better.
329
00:23:12,430 --> 00:23:15,500
Aye, I know.
I know you're doing your best.
330
00:23:15,590 --> 00:23:19,660
It's just... nothing
ever changes, does it?
331
00:23:19,750 --> 00:23:21,390
Aye, it does.
332
00:23:21,470 --> 00:23:23,670
The houses get smaller.
333
00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:25,630
Aye.
334
00:23:25,710 --> 00:23:28,830
- So does the family.
- No word from Bridget?
335
00:23:28,910 --> 00:23:33,300
There never will be now. Cos we
canna tell people where we live.
336
00:23:37,950 --> 00:23:41,910
We are trying our best for you,
Gerry. You do know that?
337
00:23:41,990 --> 00:23:45,950
Oh, talking of which,
to go along with the fresh start,
338
00:23:46,030 --> 00:23:48,020
I've got a proposition for you.
339
00:23:48,110 --> 00:23:52,020
Maureen, I'm too young for you.
You wouldn't last the weddin' night!
340
00:23:52,110 --> 00:23:54,630
No, it's just a little trade.
341
00:23:54,710 --> 00:23:57,590
You do something for me,
I've got something for you.
342
00:23:57,670 --> 00:23:59,500
Something I know you'll like.
343
00:23:59,590 --> 00:24:03,710
Maureen, I'm not going
to school. Purely no chance.
344
00:24:03,790 --> 00:24:08,660
Oh, listen, Gerry, if you go
for, say, just two weeks?
345
00:24:08,750 --> 00:24:11,630
- Maureen, no.
- Listen to her, Gerry.
346
00:24:11,710 --> 00:24:14,350
Mam, I'm not going.
It's a hellhole.
347
00:24:14,430 --> 00:24:16,900
You get taught nowt
and treated like shite!
348
00:24:16,990 --> 00:24:18,980
You say you get that everywhere.
349
00:24:19,070 --> 00:24:21,740
I don't have to dress like a prick.
350
00:24:21,830 --> 00:24:24,710
So you don't want to know
what I've got.
351
00:24:24,790 --> 00:24:26,300
No, cos I'm not going.
352
00:24:26,390 --> 00:24:31,150
I bet you do. In fact,
I bet you're there today.
353
00:24:31,230 --> 00:24:33,030
Dressed up like a prick.
354
00:24:33,110 --> 00:24:38,340
Two weeks! That's all you've got to
do to get this... certain something.
355
00:24:38,430 --> 00:24:41,420
I don't care what you've got,
Maureen. I'm not going.
356
00:24:41,510 --> 00:24:45,420
Watch me mouth -
I am not going to school.
357
00:24:45,510 --> 00:24:49,950
And there's nowt you can do
will make us change me mind.
358
00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:51,830
- Nowt?
- Totally, nowt.
359
00:24:51,910 --> 00:24:55,700
Well, I never,
Gerry McCarten turnin' down
360
00:24:55,790 --> 00:24:58,750
a pair of free tickets
to the football.
361
00:25:03,630 --> 00:25:07,620
"Be innocent of the knowledge,
dearest... chuck.
362
00:25:07,710 --> 00:25:11,470
"Till thou applaud the d-dead."
363
00:25:11,550 --> 00:25:13,140
"The deed."
364
00:25:13,230 --> 00:25:14,710
"The deed."
365
00:25:14,790 --> 00:25:16,860
"Come, ceiling light."
366
00:25:16,950 --> 00:25:18,910
"Sealing night."
367
00:25:18,990 --> 00:25:23,590
"Scarf up the tender eye
of pitiful day.
368
00:25:23,670 --> 00:25:26,420
"And with thy bloody
invincible hand..."
369
00:25:26,510 --> 00:25:29,110
"Bloody and invisible."
370
00:25:30,910 --> 00:25:34,790
"...cancel and tear to pieces
that great bond
371
00:25:34,870 --> 00:25:36,860
"which keeps me pale.
372
00:25:36,950 --> 00:25:40,550
"Light chickens and the crow
makes wing to the rocky..."
373
00:25:40,630 --> 00:25:42,750
McCarten, don't push me, all right?
374
00:25:43,510 --> 00:25:45,470
Can you not read?
375
00:25:45,550 --> 00:25:48,510
Maybe you're just lost
without the pictures?
376
00:25:51,670 --> 00:25:56,430
Janine, you take over.
McCarten, stick to comics, eh?
377
00:25:56,510 --> 00:25:59,790
"Night thickens and the crow
makes wing to the rooky wood.
378
00:25:59,870 --> 00:26:02,910
"Good things of day
begin to droop and drowse
379
00:26:02,990 --> 00:26:05,630
"whilst night's black agents
to their prayers do rouse.
380
00:26:05,710 --> 00:26:07,860
"Thou marvels at my words..."
381
00:26:10,670 --> 00:26:12,630
Where's the other lad, then?
382
00:26:12,710 --> 00:26:14,300
I don't know.
383
00:26:14,390 --> 00:26:16,990
Ah, well, you want the same money,
384
00:26:17,070 --> 00:26:19,510
you've still got to plant them all.
385
00:26:19,590 --> 00:26:22,550
- Reeght?
- Aye, reeght.
386
00:26:30,350 --> 00:26:31,830
Stay, Rusty.
387
00:26:50,750 --> 00:26:52,710
Same shite as yesterday.
388
00:26:52,790 --> 00:26:54,140
Later.
389
00:26:54,230 --> 00:26:55,790
No gravy, ta.
390
00:26:55,870 --> 00:26:57,940
- You what?
- I don't want gravy.
391
00:26:58,030 --> 00:27:01,790
- You don't want any gravy?!
- I don't want any gravy.
392
00:27:10,830 --> 00:27:13,500
- There you are.
- I'm not eatin' that.
393
00:27:13,590 --> 00:27:14,990
What's up now?
394
00:27:15,070 --> 00:27:17,460
McCarten, hurry up.
You're holding everything up.
395
00:27:17,550 --> 00:27:21,990
- Did you see what she did?
- Don't argue, just get on with it!
396
00:27:24,190 --> 00:27:26,830
Bloody waste of space, that one.
397
00:27:33,430 --> 00:27:37,470
'I dunno if I can stand it,
Sewell. Caird's being a bastard.'
398
00:27:37,550 --> 00:27:39,860
We'd get to see the Toon,
but I don't know.
399
00:27:39,950 --> 00:27:41,430
It's only a fortnight.
400
00:27:41,510 --> 00:27:43,660
I just wanna chin him.
401
00:27:43,750 --> 00:27:47,110
Chin him in a fortnight.
402
00:27:47,190 --> 00:27:50,310
- What's up with you?
- It's only September, man!
403
00:27:50,390 --> 00:27:53,220
Well, that's our motto, like.
Be prepared.
404
00:27:53,310 --> 00:27:55,270
Cheeky buggers.
405
00:27:57,950 --> 00:28:00,260
One pound for the guy!
406
00:28:00,350 --> 00:28:03,550
First times...
First times...
407
00:28:04,430 --> 00:28:05,990
Gemma?
408
00:28:06,070 --> 00:28:08,900
- First time you?
- Did the lottery, miss.
409
00:28:08,990 --> 00:28:12,300
OK, first time you did the lottery.
Describe what happened.
410
00:28:12,390 --> 00:28:15,590
And use a simile.
Remember what a simile is?
411
00:28:15,670 --> 00:28:17,630
Saying it's is like something else.
412
00:28:17,710 --> 00:28:20,910
It was like... Well,
it was like a disaster, miss.
413
00:28:20,990 --> 00:28:22,270
A disaster?!
414
00:28:22,350 --> 00:28:27,030
We decided to use all six
of our birthdays as the numbers.
415
00:28:27,110 --> 00:28:30,990
Me dad did the ticket.
We all tuned in and it started.
416
00:28:31,070 --> 00:28:34,540
You know, with that gadgie
sayin' "Activate the balls".
417
00:28:34,630 --> 00:28:37,270
Yes, hilarious. Go on, Gemma.
418
00:28:37,350 --> 00:28:40,340
Well, when the numbers come up,
we'd won.
419
00:28:40,430 --> 00:28:44,420
We're all jumpin' up and down,
goin' mad... except me dad.
420
00:28:44,510 --> 00:28:46,020
Why not?
421
00:28:46,110 --> 00:28:50,420
He'd forgotten our birthdays, miss.
Got to the shop and gone brain dead.
422
00:28:50,510 --> 00:28:54,660
Forgot our Dean's birthday, my
birthday and me mam's birthday.
423
00:28:54,750 --> 00:28:58,790
Oh, dear. So how did that feel?
And use a simile.
424
00:28:58,870 --> 00:29:02,180
When you'd thought you'd won
and then you realised
425
00:29:02,270 --> 00:29:05,870
your father used different
numbers, how did that feel?
426
00:29:05,950 --> 00:29:08,340
What did it feel like?
427
00:29:09,590 --> 00:29:12,150
Like a fucking great
kick in the cunt.
428
00:29:13,830 --> 00:29:17,110
Thank you, Gerry. We don't need
quite such vivid comparisons.
429
00:29:17,190 --> 00:29:19,150
He's right, miss.
Good similarity.
430
00:29:19,230 --> 00:29:20,740
What about your father?
431
00:29:20,830 --> 00:29:24,060
His perspective must have been
very different to yours, yeah?
432
00:29:24,150 --> 00:29:27,270
Nobody knows, miss.
He's under the patio.
433
00:29:27,350 --> 00:29:31,310
OK. Anyone else? First times?
434
00:29:31,390 --> 00:29:33,670
Thank you, Malcolm.
435
00:29:33,750 --> 00:29:36,820
We've already had your
all too graphic recollection
436
00:29:36,910 --> 00:29:39,510
of the morning after
your first vindaloo.
437
00:29:44,230 --> 00:29:50,230
Gerry, what about you? You must have
an experience you can share with us?
438
00:29:50,830 --> 00:29:53,580
Oh, surely.
All the things you get up to?
439
00:29:55,070 --> 00:29:59,300
Come on, anything. What do you
enjoy? What's your real passion?
440
00:29:59,390 --> 00:30:02,670
- Footy, miss. He's footy mad.
- Oh, yeah. That's right.
441
00:30:02,750 --> 00:30:05,870
A regular member of the Toon army,
aren't you, Gerry?
442
00:30:05,950 --> 00:30:08,620
Not any more, miss.
He canna get in now.
443
00:30:08,710 --> 00:30:10,670
But you used to go, didn't you?
444
00:30:10,750 --> 00:30:12,980
Course I did, miss.
445
00:30:13,070 --> 00:30:16,510
Well... Right, what about
the first time you went to football?
446
00:30:16,590 --> 00:30:19,790
I bet that was an experience.
Tell us about that.
447
00:30:19,870 --> 00:30:22,590
Who did you go with? Your dad?
448
00:30:24,310 --> 00:30:26,510
Ha'way, Gerry. Tell us.
449
00:30:29,230 --> 00:30:31,620
I canna remember, miss.
450
00:30:31,710 --> 00:30:34,620
I was small.
Dead small, you know.
451
00:30:34,710 --> 00:30:36,190
Try, Gerry.
452
00:30:36,270 --> 00:30:39,630
I was maybes five or six,
I canna remember exactly.
453
00:30:39,710 --> 00:30:44,070
There was loads of people.
Dead noisy, but havin' a laugh.
454
00:30:44,150 --> 00:30:46,950
Well, we won, I think.
455
00:30:48,750 --> 00:30:50,980
Go on. What else do you remember?
456
00:30:51,070 --> 00:30:54,140
Me father's coat.
I remember me father's coat.
457
00:30:54,230 --> 00:30:57,460
It were dead thick and warm,
like a snorkel jacket.
458
00:30:57,550 --> 00:31:00,860
I was cold,
so me father gave us his jacket.
459
00:31:00,950 --> 00:31:05,070
I put it on reeght round me face.
I'd never been so warm.
460
00:31:05,150 --> 00:31:08,540
The wind was whistling round
the ground. It was rainin'.
461
00:31:08,630 --> 00:31:10,830
Didn't bother me, I was cushty.
462
00:31:10,910 --> 00:31:13,790
Me father kept lookin' down
checkin' on me.
463
00:31:13,870 --> 00:31:15,860
He was shiverin' in his jumper.
464
00:31:15,950 --> 00:31:18,260
He didn't mind,
as long as I was warm.
465
00:31:18,350 --> 00:31:20,310
That's good of him.
466
00:31:20,390 --> 00:31:24,700
At half-time, he bought us both
two huge cup, steamin' cup of teas.
467
00:31:24,790 --> 00:31:26,700
We drank them together.
468
00:31:26,790 --> 00:31:30,700
- What was the tea like?
- Belter. Purely belter.
469
00:31:30,790 --> 00:31:33,350
Two sugars, dead milky, like.
470
00:31:33,430 --> 00:31:36,660
Dunno about similes, miss.
It were just like... like...
471
00:31:36,750 --> 00:31:39,270
like the best cup of tea ever.
472
00:31:39,350 --> 00:31:42,710
After the whistle, we stayed
till everyone else had gone.
473
00:31:42,790 --> 00:31:45,180
We walked through a park
to get a bus.
474
00:31:45,270 --> 00:31:47,990
It was gettin' dark about five.
475
00:31:48,070 --> 00:31:52,060
There was a bird singin'
in a tree. I dunno what sort.
476
00:31:52,150 --> 00:31:54,380
Maybes one of them thrushes.
477
00:31:54,470 --> 00:31:59,070
Whatever it was, it was singin' dead
loud just as it were gettin' dark.
478
00:32:04,990 --> 00:32:06,950
It was mint, man.
479
00:32:14,190 --> 00:32:16,020
And what about your father?
480
00:32:16,110 --> 00:32:18,150
His perspective
on the same experience
481
00:32:18,230 --> 00:32:19,870
must have been very different.
482
00:32:19,950 --> 00:32:22,470
Should think so.
He's a fucking piss-head.
483
00:32:23,990 --> 00:32:26,820
OK. Walk slowly!
484
00:32:26,910 --> 00:32:29,580
No runnin' in the corridor, please.
485
00:32:45,310 --> 00:32:47,270
So where are we goin'?
486
00:32:47,350 --> 00:32:51,340
We'll do C&A's, Smith's,
Boots, Marks and Spark's...
487
00:32:51,430 --> 00:32:52,940
Everything's A Pound.
488
00:32:53,030 --> 00:32:54,940
Why aye... Everything's A Pound!
489
00:32:55,030 --> 00:32:56,860
What's funny about that, like?
490
00:32:56,950 --> 00:33:00,830
Sewell, we're goin' nickin', nickin'
things to sell, for proper money.
491
00:33:00,910 --> 00:33:04,900
- Aye, I know that.
- So how much do you think we'll get
492
00:33:04,990 --> 00:33:08,870
- for stuff from a shop like that?
- Depends on what it's worth.
493
00:33:08,950 --> 00:33:12,580
How much do you think it's worth
from Everything's A Pound?
494
00:33:12,670 --> 00:33:15,340
I don't know.
They've got some good gear.
495
00:33:15,430 --> 00:33:19,220
The most expensive thing,
how much do you think that's worth?
496
00:33:19,310 --> 00:33:22,270
- Or the cheapest?
- One at a time!
497
00:33:22,350 --> 00:33:24,710
- It's the same question!
- Eh?
498
00:33:24,790 --> 00:33:28,310
I'll give you a clue. The shop's
called Everything's A something.
499
00:33:28,390 --> 00:33:30,990
I know what the bloody
shop's called, Gerry.
500
00:33:31,070 --> 00:33:35,700
Well, then. Not, Everything's
A Tenner, or A Different Price,
501
00:33:35,790 --> 00:33:37,300
Everything's A Pound!
502
00:33:37,390 --> 00:33:41,940
So how much is the dearest
and the cheapest thing in there?
503
00:33:42,030 --> 00:33:45,100
- So which do you want?
- Both, man!
504
00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:49,580
A pound! A fucking pound!
Everything is a fucking pound!
505
00:33:49,670 --> 00:33:54,030
I know, I know that.
Jesus, I'm not stupid, man.
506
00:33:55,550 --> 00:33:58,220
All right, Einstein.
You clear on the plan?
507
00:33:58,310 --> 00:34:01,350
While they're busy watching me,
doing me decoy bit,
508
00:34:01,430 --> 00:34:04,070
filling me pockets... you fill yours.
509
00:34:04,150 --> 00:34:05,500
Properly.
510
00:34:05,590 --> 00:34:08,790
Right, aye. Cos they won't see me,
cos I'm blind.
511
00:34:08,870 --> 00:34:12,020
Of course they'll see you.
They just won't suspect you.
512
00:34:12,110 --> 00:34:15,340
- Why is that like?
- Cos you're blind! Cos you're blind!
513
00:34:15,430 --> 00:34:17,630
Ah, right, I see.
514
00:34:17,710 --> 00:34:19,860
Joke, man, Gerry, it were a jo...
515
00:35:12,430 --> 00:35:15,420
You're meant to be blind, man,
you pillock.
516
00:35:57,230 --> 00:35:58,510
Can I help you?
517
00:35:58,590 --> 00:36:00,550
No, thanks. Just browsin'.
518
00:36:01,790 --> 00:36:03,750
That's an unusual guide dog.
519
00:36:03,830 --> 00:36:07,510
- Where was he trained?
- Erm... in Wickham.
520
00:36:07,590 --> 00:36:10,230
Oh, I know Wickham. Whereabouts?
521
00:36:10,310 --> 00:36:12,670
Erm... in the woods up there,
you know.
522
00:36:12,750 --> 00:36:14,950
- Woods?
- Aye.
523
00:36:15,030 --> 00:36:16,860
An' all them fields round about.
524
00:36:16,950 --> 00:36:20,630
- Strange.
- Why's that, like?
525
00:36:20,710 --> 00:36:26,070
Well, they usually train guide
dogs in towns and cities,
526
00:36:26,150 --> 00:36:28,110
on streets,
527
00:36:28,190 --> 00:36:30,580
where people live.
528
00:36:30,670 --> 00:36:34,660
Not this one,
cos I live in a field, like.
529
00:36:34,750 --> 00:36:36,470
You live in a field?
530
00:36:36,550 --> 00:36:40,230
Aye, woods, like.
Woods, trees, you know.
531
00:36:40,310 --> 00:36:42,430
Out in the wilds, like.
532
00:36:42,510 --> 00:36:45,660
- Ah, whereabouts?
- You wouldn't know it.
533
00:36:45,750 --> 00:36:48,030
I live miles from anywhere...
534
00:36:48,110 --> 00:36:51,740
wi' ponies and huskies,
them Newfoundland dogs an' all,
535
00:36:51,830 --> 00:36:53,790
wi' the webbed feet.
536
00:36:54,390 --> 00:36:56,670
It snows most o' the year.
537
00:36:57,790 --> 00:36:59,860
Big castles.
538
00:37:03,670 --> 00:37:07,030
- Browsing, you say?
- Aye, just browsin'.
539
00:37:07,110 --> 00:37:10,100
- Just browsing?
- Aye. Not deaf, are ye?
540
00:37:10,190 --> 00:37:13,580
No, I'm not deaf,
and you're not blind.
541
00:37:20,350 --> 00:37:22,310
Stop!
542
00:37:47,630 --> 00:37:50,230
Here, youse two are top set,
aren't you?
543
00:37:50,310 --> 00:37:52,540
D'you wanna buy some books?
544
00:37:52,630 --> 00:37:55,700
- No, thanks.
- Take a look first, man.
545
00:37:55,790 --> 00:37:59,100
- Beauty, innit?
- We don't do Spanish here.
546
00:37:59,190 --> 00:38:01,230
So?
547
00:38:01,310 --> 00:38:03,270
Why would I want
a Spanish dictionary?
548
00:38:03,350 --> 00:38:05,630
You might go to Spain
for your holidays.
549
00:38:05,710 --> 00:38:10,070
How are you supposed to shag
the Diego lads without the lingo?
550
00:38:11,670 --> 00:38:15,190
How about this, then?
A hardback, a classic.
551
00:38:15,270 --> 00:38:17,470
See, it even says
"Everyman's Classic -
552
00:38:17,550 --> 00:38:19,270
"A Sportsman's Notebook."
553
00:38:19,350 --> 00:38:22,630
- What's it about?
- Footy. Keegan wrote it.
554
00:38:22,710 --> 00:38:25,590
Says here it's by Ivan Turgenev.
555
00:38:25,670 --> 00:38:28,870
Helped him out. He couldn't
do everything, our Kev.
556
00:38:28,950 --> 00:38:30,990
Ivan helped him, like.
557
00:38:31,070 --> 00:38:35,270
You know Ivan Turkeyoff?
Canny player. Looks like a fish.
558
00:38:35,350 --> 00:38:37,950
- How much?
- About £800,000, from Dynamo Kiev.
559
00:38:38,030 --> 00:38:39,750
For the book.
560
00:38:39,830 --> 00:38:43,950
McCarten! What are you playin' at?
You're supposed to be in the gym!
561
00:38:44,030 --> 00:38:47,340
- I've got no decent kit!
- No decent kit, sir.
562
00:38:47,430 --> 00:38:49,420
That makes two of us then.
563
00:38:59,750 --> 00:39:03,790
You see, McCarten.
These kids, here,
564
00:39:03,870 --> 00:39:07,750
good kids who come in
every day for years and years,
565
00:39:07,830 --> 00:39:10,550
sometimes going out the far end
wi' nothin'.
566
00:39:10,630 --> 00:39:14,830
You turn up for a fortnight,
and what do you get?
567
00:39:14,910 --> 00:39:17,030
A bloody present!
568
00:39:17,110 --> 00:39:19,580
Aye, I've heard all about it.
569
00:39:21,390 --> 00:39:25,020
All these kids, here.
They come here to get educated.
570
00:39:25,110 --> 00:39:29,900
But you! You come here
to get football tickets.
571
00:39:29,990 --> 00:39:33,220
You know how that makes me feel,
McCarten?
572
00:39:33,310 --> 00:39:36,350
Fuckin' sick. That's what.
573
00:39:36,430 --> 00:39:40,500
There's only one thing I can do
to make myself feel better.
574
00:39:40,590 --> 00:39:42,980
And that's to make
this fuckin' fortnight
575
00:39:43,070 --> 00:39:45,590
a fuckin' misery for you.
576
00:39:46,670 --> 00:39:48,710
Stop there till the bell.
577
00:39:50,390 --> 00:39:54,180
Come on, you're chasing the ball
round like a flock o' sheep!
578
00:39:54,270 --> 00:39:56,740
Let's see some positional play.
Two up...
579
00:39:56,830 --> 00:39:58,870
# You should have seen us gannin'
580
00:39:58,950 --> 00:40:01,780
# Passing the folks along the
road just as they were stannin'
581
00:40:01,870 --> 00:40:03,860
# All the lads and lasses there
582
00:40:03,950 --> 00:40:05,350
# All wi' smilin' faces
583
00:40:05,430 --> 00:40:07,710
# Gannin' along
the Scotswood Road
584
00:40:07,790 --> 00:40:10,230
# To see the Blaydon Races #
585
00:40:10,310 --> 00:40:14,590
Gerry, man, where you going?
It's the end of the song.
586
00:40:14,670 --> 00:40:18,300
We always do the house
at the end of the song.
587
00:40:18,390 --> 00:40:20,750
Not tonight, Sewell, man.
588
00:40:38,630 --> 00:40:40,750
Stop that hummin', man.
589
00:40:40,830 --> 00:40:44,110
I canna help it. Whenever
I'm buzzin', I start hummin'.
590
00:40:44,190 --> 00:40:47,420
Ha'way, a vid in the bedroom,
they're well loaded.
591
00:40:51,510 --> 00:40:55,390
Hey, look at this tackle.
Lily of the Valley.
592
00:40:55,470 --> 00:40:58,270
Lasses will be all ours
with this gear on.
593
00:40:58,350 --> 00:41:01,390
They won't. It's air freshener,
you don't spray that on.
594
00:41:01,470 --> 00:41:03,030
- Aye, you can.
- No.
595
00:41:03,110 --> 00:41:06,150
It's for when you've been,
to clear the air.
596
00:41:06,230 --> 00:41:07,740
What you on about?
597
00:41:07,830 --> 00:41:12,060
The lasses will think you've
just done a shite with that on.
598
00:41:12,150 --> 00:41:15,670
Don't. You don't break into
a house to nick air freshener.
599
00:41:15,750 --> 00:41:19,190
You do livin' wi' my dad.
This is gold dust.
600
00:41:19,270 --> 00:41:21,230
Ha'way, let's get downstairs.
601
00:41:28,470 --> 00:41:32,540
Look at this. They don't
even have to wash their dishes.
602
00:41:32,630 --> 00:41:36,620
And look, a coffee maker,
a toaster, a microwave.
603
00:41:36,710 --> 00:41:40,020
Jesus, don't these bastards
do anything for themselves?
604
00:41:40,110 --> 00:41:44,150
Ha'way, Sewell, we'll have that
microwave and something for dinner.
605
00:41:45,630 --> 00:41:48,150
That'll be better
for our money tin.
606
00:41:51,510 --> 00:41:55,500
You always say never again
and we always end up going.
607
00:41:55,590 --> 00:41:59,430
- Whenever her ladyship calls.
- Oh, not that again, pet...
608
00:42:03,190 --> 00:42:07,030
Who'd fancy a tart like that,
with her tongue and tits hangin' out?
609
00:42:07,110 --> 00:42:08,780
Denise, I don't fancy her!
610
00:42:08,870 --> 00:42:12,660
Oh?! You spend a lot of time
looking at her tits...
611
00:42:14,790 --> 00:42:18,750
Why would I? When my wife's got
the top tits on Tyneside?
612
00:42:18,830 --> 00:42:20,660
- Honest?
- Uh-huh.
613
00:42:20,750 --> 00:42:22,870
Are you gonna tell them that?
614
00:42:22,950 --> 00:42:26,790
Come on, then.
Ha'way there, me beauties.
615
00:42:31,830 --> 00:42:33,820
What the hell was that?
616
00:42:34,910 --> 00:42:36,390
Run for it!
617
00:42:38,710 --> 00:42:40,140
Fuck it!
618
00:42:42,910 --> 00:42:45,980
Run, man!
She's at the friggin' door!
619
00:42:46,070 --> 00:42:48,870
Paul! Where are you, man? Paul!
620
00:42:48,950 --> 00:42:50,910
Cover your face, man!
621
00:43:01,150 --> 00:43:04,060
Come here, you bastards!
Paul!
622
00:43:30,470 --> 00:43:32,430
- Hello, lads.
- Hiya.
623
00:43:54,430 --> 00:43:56,150
Tickets, please.
624
00:43:56,230 --> 00:43:58,590
Two and a dog
to the football ground.
625
00:43:58,670 --> 00:44:01,660
Here you go, son.
626
00:44:01,750 --> 00:44:04,420
- Cheers, now.
- Thanks.
627
00:44:07,870 --> 00:44:10,100
Ha'way, man.
I got them for free.
628
00:44:10,190 --> 00:44:12,750
I was conned.
How was I supposed to know?
629
00:44:12,830 --> 00:44:16,820
Well, I don't know, do I?
You're meant to be the brains.
630
00:44:16,910 --> 00:44:18,580
I can't believe it.
631
00:44:18,670 --> 00:44:22,430
She knows nothing about football,
Maureen, the old trout.
632
00:44:22,510 --> 00:44:25,500
Free tickets, she said.
She didn't say where for.
633
00:44:25,590 --> 00:44:27,870
We're not going there
to see them.
634
00:44:27,950 --> 00:44:29,860
We're going to sell our tickets.
635
00:44:29,950 --> 00:44:32,780
We'll get good money for these,
an' all.
636
00:44:32,870 --> 00:44:34,990
All towards tickets
we friggin' want.
637
00:44:35,070 --> 00:44:36,710
I just can't believe...
638
00:44:36,790 --> 00:44:39,230
WE'RE going to Sunderland.
639
00:44:43,430 --> 00:44:46,710
Ha'way, Sewell, man.
Stadium of Light.
640
00:44:46,790 --> 00:44:48,860
Stadium of Shite, you mean.
641
00:44:48,950 --> 00:44:51,910
We're in the heart of enemy
territory now.
642
00:44:51,990 --> 00:44:55,700
- Not a word from now on.
- Man alive!
643
00:44:55,790 --> 00:44:56,860
- See?
- What?!
644
00:44:56,950 --> 00:44:58,180
You speak pure Geordie.
645
00:44:58,270 --> 00:45:00,420
Open your mouth again
and you're dead.
646
00:45:00,510 --> 00:45:02,180
They'll rip you to shreds.
647
00:45:02,270 --> 00:45:05,790
And afterwards, we'll find a few
scraps of your bench coat
648
00:45:05,870 --> 00:45:07,830
blowing along Roker beach, OK?
649
00:45:11,990 --> 00:45:14,740
Tickets.
Want a ticket? Want a ticket?
650
00:45:14,830 --> 00:45:17,900
Shall we just gan in
and watch them?
651
00:45:17,990 --> 00:45:21,430
- Watch Sunderland?!
- We're not gonna sell them now.
652
00:45:21,510 --> 00:45:23,740
- Fuck off home.
- They've already got them.
653
00:45:34,870 --> 00:45:38,780
I suppose.
Nowt better to do, like.
654
00:45:40,590 --> 00:45:41,940
Stay, Rusty.
655
00:45:42,030 --> 00:45:44,390
We'll be back
at a quarter to five.
656
00:45:44,470 --> 00:45:46,990
Dogs canna tell the time, man.
657
00:46:23,950 --> 00:46:25,510
Not bad, eh?
658
00:46:25,590 --> 00:46:30,380
Not a patch on St James's,
like, but, aye, so-so.
659
00:46:36,750 --> 00:46:39,500
# If you hate Newcastle
clap your hands
660
00:46:39,590 --> 00:46:42,110
# If you hate Newcastle,
hate Newcastle
661
00:46:42,190 --> 00:46:44,230
# Hate Newcastle,
clap your hands.
662
00:46:44,310 --> 00:46:46,910
# Singing aye-aye,
yippie, yippie-aye
663
00:46:46,990 --> 00:46:50,060
# Singing aye-aye,
yippie, yippie-aye
664
00:46:50,150 --> 00:46:52,710
# Singing aye-aye,
yippie, aye-aye, yippie
665
00:46:52,790 --> 00:46:54,860
# Aye-aye, yippie, yippie-aye #
666
00:47:01,110 --> 00:47:03,630
This is it, Sewell, me old mate.
667
00:47:03,710 --> 00:47:06,430
Next season this'll be us
at St James's.
668
00:47:06,510 --> 00:47:11,300
The football will be better, but you
still get a sense of it here.
669
00:47:11,390 --> 00:47:14,140
I counted the jar again
this mornin', Sewell.
670
00:47:14,230 --> 00:47:17,190
We're almost there, son.
We're almost there.
671
00:47:25,510 --> 00:47:28,470
- Tell us that thing again.
- What thing?
672
00:47:28,550 --> 00:47:31,020
When your da took you
to St James's.
673
00:47:31,110 --> 00:47:35,150
- Oh, that. Why, man?
- Nae reason, I just like it.
674
00:47:36,230 --> 00:47:38,060
Why, it were years ago.
675
00:47:38,150 --> 00:47:41,860
In them days anyone could go.
You didn't have to be loaded.
676
00:47:41,950 --> 00:47:44,550
You just paid at the gate -
stood anywhere.
677
00:47:44,630 --> 00:47:48,590
It were dead cold -
brass monkeys - I remember that.
678
00:47:48,670 --> 00:47:53,300
Me da gave us his jacket even
though it meant he were cold.
679
00:47:53,390 --> 00:47:56,190
He kept looking
to see if I were all right.
680
00:47:56,270 --> 00:47:58,940
He were freezing his bollocks
off in a jumper.
681
00:47:59,030 --> 00:48:02,150
He didn't mind as
long as I was warm.
682
00:48:05,950 --> 00:48:10,500
At half-time he bought us
hot tea. Two sugars, dead milky.
683
00:48:10,590 --> 00:48:13,150
Better than this one,
different class.
684
00:48:13,230 --> 00:48:16,540
It were the best cup o' tea
I've ever had.
685
00:48:16,630 --> 00:48:18,620
Afterwards we stayed put a while.
686
00:48:18,710 --> 00:48:21,510
Stood in the empty ground,
just me and him.
687
00:48:21,590 --> 00:48:23,500
We were in nae hurry.
688
00:48:23,590 --> 00:48:26,900
Then we went for a walk
through the park.
689
00:48:26,990 --> 00:48:31,270
There was a bird singin' in a tree.
Dead loud, like. I remember that.
690
00:48:31,350 --> 00:48:33,820
Then we went home. That was it.
691
00:48:41,470 --> 00:48:43,990
Was it the best day
of your life?
692
00:48:44,070 --> 00:48:46,140
Why, I dunno yet, do I?
693
00:48:47,830 --> 00:48:49,900
- Sewell, man.
- Aye?
694
00:48:49,990 --> 00:48:53,460
This is me first football match.
I've never been before.
695
00:48:53,550 --> 00:48:59,070
- Never even seen the Toon play.
- I know that, you dozy get.
696
00:49:23,350 --> 00:49:24,700
Mam?
697
00:50:06,750 --> 00:50:08,340
Bridge?
698
00:50:13,750 --> 00:50:16,710
Ha'way, Bridge,
I know it's you, man, sis.
699
00:50:22,910 --> 00:50:24,420
All right, Gerry.
700
00:50:24,510 --> 00:50:28,820
Come on in, Son. Come and say
hello to your ol' man, eh?
701
00:50:36,790 --> 00:50:40,100
You b... Those are hers.
And that was mine.
702
00:50:40,190 --> 00:50:43,710
Grow up, son. Besides, all them
years I fed and clothed you.
703
00:50:43,790 --> 00:50:47,630
All them times I helped you out.
You fuckin' owe us, Son.
704
00:50:47,710 --> 00:50:49,140
You cannot do this.
705
00:50:49,230 --> 00:50:51,140
You gonna stop us?
706
00:50:51,230 --> 00:50:53,830
Don't be a prick all your life.
707
00:50:53,910 --> 00:50:58,060
I mean, you're no bigger now
than the last time I decked you.
708
00:51:02,390 --> 00:51:03,980
How's your mam?
709
00:51:06,150 --> 00:51:08,380
I still love her.
You know that.
710
00:51:08,470 --> 00:51:12,700
I saw her lip last time you came.
Must have been some kiss.
711
00:51:12,790 --> 00:51:15,830
You might not like this,
she still loves me.
712
00:51:15,910 --> 00:51:17,900
She does. I can tell.
713
00:51:17,990 --> 00:51:21,110
I'll tell you summat else,
we'll get back together.
714
00:51:21,190 --> 00:51:23,500
Back like before.
715
00:51:28,150 --> 00:51:29,500
Where's Bridge?
716
00:51:31,230 --> 00:51:33,190
How did you find us?
717
00:51:33,270 --> 00:51:36,980
See what I mean. You'll never
guess, Son. Go on. Guess.
718
00:51:37,070 --> 00:51:40,030
What do I do, Gerry, Son?
719
00:51:40,790 --> 00:51:42,750
What's me job, man?
720
00:51:43,830 --> 00:51:45,390
The bins.
721
00:51:45,470 --> 00:51:47,670
The bins.
722
00:51:50,390 --> 00:51:52,670
You moved to my patch, you pillocks.
723
00:51:52,750 --> 00:51:56,270
How much easier can she make it?
She must want us back!
724
00:51:56,350 --> 00:51:58,020
You bastard!
725
00:52:00,230 --> 00:52:02,980
- Happy Christmas, Kyoko
- Happy Christmas, Julian
726
00:52:03,070 --> 00:52:05,380
# So this is Christmas
727
00:52:07,510 --> 00:52:09,630
# And what have you done?
728
00:52:12,150 --> 00:52:14,750
# Another year over
729
00:52:16,510 --> 00:52:19,150
# A new one just begun
730
00:52:21,230 --> 00:52:23,750
# And so this is Christmas
731
00:52:25,790 --> 00:52:28,670
# I hope you have fun
732
00:52:30,550 --> 00:52:33,380
# The near and the dear ones
733
00:52:35,190 --> 00:52:37,860
# The old and the young
734
00:52:39,830 --> 00:52:43,950
# A very merry Christmas
735
00:52:44,030 --> 00:52:49,060
# And a happy New Year
736
00:52:49,150 --> 00:52:50,500
# Let's hope... #
737
00:52:50,590 --> 00:52:52,710
Let's hope it's a good one.
738
00:52:52,790 --> 00:52:54,140
Absolutely.
739
00:52:54,230 --> 00:52:56,790
Without any fear.
740
00:52:58,550 --> 00:53:01,270
# And so
this is Christmas... #
741
00:53:01,350 --> 00:53:04,310
Gerry, pet, be an angel
and shut them curtains.
742
00:53:07,270 --> 00:53:10,900
So that's what you're sayin'?
You fell down the stairs?
743
00:53:13,390 --> 00:53:16,540
- Aye.
- Hmm, it's hard to buy, that.
744
00:53:16,630 --> 00:53:18,140
How's that, like?
745
00:53:18,230 --> 00:53:21,430
Well, seein' there weren't
any stairs, like.
746
00:53:21,510 --> 00:53:24,390
I don't understand.
You could get him this time.
747
00:53:24,470 --> 00:53:27,910
- Get a court order.
- It's last rites he wants.
748
00:53:27,990 --> 00:53:30,630
Well, I don't think
we could arrange that.
749
00:53:30,710 --> 00:53:33,780
I dunno, you managed to mix up
Newcastle and Sunderland.
750
00:53:33,870 --> 00:53:37,230
You could manage anything.
751
00:53:37,310 --> 00:53:40,830
# A very merry Christmas
752
00:53:40,910 --> 00:53:43,630
# And a happy New Year
753
00:53:45,470 --> 00:53:49,460
# Let's hope
it's a good one... #
754
00:53:51,190 --> 00:53:55,500
Aye, I know it's not the Ritz.
But it's cushty with you here.
755
00:53:55,590 --> 00:53:58,060
Just belter
to have a place to ourselves.
756
00:53:58,150 --> 00:54:00,220
Just you and me, you know.
757
00:54:00,310 --> 00:54:03,460
Aye, just you and me...
758
00:54:03,550 --> 00:54:06,940
- and Rusty.
- Rusty'll be nae bother, man.
759
00:54:07,030 --> 00:54:11,420
You know that mad kid I told you
about who was lookin' for his dog?
760
00:54:11,510 --> 00:54:15,870
Apparently he's askin' about,
lookin' everywhere. He's mad.
761
00:54:15,950 --> 00:54:18,750
So would I be
if somebody nicked me hound.
762
00:54:18,830 --> 00:54:21,740
I don't think it was nicked.
He just lost it.
763
00:54:21,830 --> 00:54:24,820
Aye, like you lost
that Zak fellow, eh?
764
00:54:24,910 --> 00:54:27,060
Aye, like that.
765
00:54:27,150 --> 00:54:29,220
You have lost him, haven't you?
766
00:54:29,310 --> 00:54:31,030
Haven't you, Gemma?
767
00:54:31,110 --> 00:54:34,070
Aye, he's gone for good,
Zak has. History.
768
00:54:34,150 --> 00:54:36,380
I can't be doin' with tossers, me.
769
00:54:36,470 --> 00:54:38,220
Give us a kiss, then.
770
00:54:54,070 --> 00:54:55,470
What?
771
00:54:55,550 --> 00:54:58,350
Nowt. Hey, I got you
a Christmas present.
772
00:54:58,430 --> 00:55:00,470
Oh, Sewell, you shouldn't have.
773
00:55:00,550 --> 00:55:02,750
It's only small, like.
774
00:55:02,830 --> 00:55:05,220
But it's gettin' bigger
all the time.
775
00:55:09,670 --> 00:55:11,310
You said it.
776
00:55:11,390 --> 00:55:14,670
Hey, a cock's not just
for Christmas, it's for life.
777
00:55:14,750 --> 00:55:17,030
I wouldn't mind
that, Gemma, pet.
778
00:55:17,110 --> 00:55:20,260
Are you gonna get out
of that bench coat?
779
00:55:20,350 --> 00:55:22,100
Not if I needn't.
780
00:55:22,190 --> 00:55:26,070
#
Sleep in heavenly peace
781
00:55:26,150 --> 00:55:30,750
# Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way
782
00:55:30,830 --> 00:55:34,820
# Oh, what fun it is to see
Newcastle win away... #
783
00:55:34,910 --> 00:55:36,390
There you go.
784
00:55:36,470 --> 00:55:38,910
Sweets?! I'm 17, man.
785
00:55:38,990 --> 00:55:41,460
Merry Christmas, lads.
786
00:55:41,550 --> 00:55:45,390
- And a happy new hearing aid.
- Ta, son, same to you.
787
00:55:46,750 --> 00:55:49,140
Ha'way, I'm off.
788
00:55:50,350 --> 00:55:52,420
Where to?
789
00:55:52,510 --> 00:55:56,420
Out and about. We've done all right.
We've got to be nearly there now.
790
00:55:56,510 --> 00:55:58,710
Aye, nearly there.
791
00:55:59,830 --> 00:56:01,790
Come on, Rusty.
792
00:56:08,390 --> 00:56:09,740
Sewell, man.
793
00:56:09,830 --> 00:56:11,820
Aye?
794
00:56:13,950 --> 00:56:16,550
- Nowt. See ya.
- See ya.
795
00:56:20,790 --> 00:56:23,150
# Are you ready, children?
796
00:56:25,710 --> 00:56:27,460
# When the snowman...
797
00:56:28,710 --> 00:56:33,340
#... brings the snow
well, you just might like to know
798
00:56:33,430 --> 00:56:38,790
# He'll put a great big smile
on somebody's face
799
00:56:40,030 --> 00:56:42,940
# If you jump into your bed... #
800
00:56:44,230 --> 00:56:46,270
Oh, God.
801
00:56:47,350 --> 00:56:49,310
What's up, Son?
802
00:56:51,830 --> 00:56:54,270
You've put...
803
00:56:54,350 --> 00:56:57,100
Christmas pud in the t...
804
00:56:59,790 --> 00:57:01,750
No matter, eh?
805
00:57:01,830 --> 00:57:03,790
Saves time, like.
806
00:57:04,630 --> 00:57:07,100
All ends up in the bog together.
807
00:57:13,670 --> 00:57:16,470
Cheer up, will you?
It's New Years.
808
00:57:16,550 --> 00:57:19,990
A day out in Whitley Bay.
You're into another new flat.
809
00:57:20,070 --> 00:57:22,900
Near our grand total.
Toon's fourth in the league.
810
00:57:22,990 --> 00:57:26,590
And soon we can get back
on the good things in life.
811
00:57:26,670 --> 00:57:28,980
I'm tellin' you man,
I'm desperate now.
812
00:57:29,070 --> 00:57:31,220
First thing
when we've got our tickets -
813
00:57:31,310 --> 00:57:33,140
a bit of tac, some booze.
814
00:57:33,230 --> 00:57:36,590
Go out and get totally peeved.
Pure radgie, man.
815
00:57:36,670 --> 00:57:39,230
- Sewell?
- Wrecked, smashed, eh?
816
00:57:39,310 --> 00:57:42,030
- Sewell, man.
- Pissed and stoned as farts.
817
00:57:42,110 --> 00:57:45,740
Jesus, Sewell, man!
There is no season tickets.
818
00:57:45,830 --> 00:57:47,790
And there never will be.
819
00:57:47,870 --> 00:57:50,940
Me old man found the money
and took it.
820
00:57:51,030 --> 00:57:53,500
All of it?
821
00:57:53,590 --> 00:57:55,550
Just after the Sunderland match.
822
00:57:55,630 --> 00:57:58,990
That was months ago,
and you're just tellin' us now?
823
00:57:59,070 --> 00:58:01,190
- You had a canny Christmas?
- Aye, but...
824
00:58:01,270 --> 00:58:03,740
Well, that's why.
Cos I didn't tell you.
825
00:58:03,830 --> 00:58:07,140
Look, I've got the money
with us, what we've saved since.
826
00:58:07,230 --> 00:58:10,220
If you want to spend it,
I'll understand.
827
00:58:11,310 --> 00:58:13,620
Have it, man. It's yours.
828
00:58:13,710 --> 00:58:18,180
Me father's a bastard, that's all
there is to it. Take it and be done.
829
00:58:21,870 --> 00:58:25,100
- 'Next train to... '
- Gerry!
830
00:58:26,630 --> 00:58:28,910
You cannot give up on a mission.
831
00:58:28,990 --> 00:58:32,110
We'll gan down the boozer
and hatch a plan.
832
00:58:32,190 --> 00:58:33,780
Gerry!
833
00:58:33,870 --> 00:58:35,910
All right. I've worked it out.
834
00:58:35,990 --> 00:58:39,460
It doesn't look good for this
season, so how's about this.
835
00:58:39,550 --> 00:58:42,940
If we canna afford two,
maybe we can share one.
836
00:58:43,030 --> 00:58:45,780
Me one week, you the next, or...
837
00:58:45,870 --> 00:58:47,940
I have first half, you second.
838
00:58:48,030 --> 00:58:50,390
Or, maybe...
839
00:58:50,470 --> 00:58:54,460
Ha'way, me favourite programme.
You always see someone you know.
840
00:58:54,550 --> 00:58:57,540
'Have you seen these teenagers?
They work as a team.
841
00:58:57,630 --> 00:59:00,380
'One about five feet,
the other over six feet.
842
00:59:01,990 --> 00:59:06,910
'Here one poses as a blind person, as
they steal goods in the city centre.
843
00:59:06,990 --> 00:59:09,820
'There's a reward for information
leading to their arrest.
844
00:59:09,910 --> 00:59:12,550
'They appear to own
a rusty-coloured dog.
845
00:59:12,630 --> 00:59:16,990
'The taller wears a bench coat
of the kind football managers wear.
846
00:59:17,070 --> 00:59:20,540
'If you recognise these youths,
please call us now.'
847
00:59:23,030 --> 00:59:25,590
They may as well
have read out our names!
848
00:59:25,670 --> 00:59:28,470
Rusty an' all! Even your bench coat
got a mention.
849
00:59:28,550 --> 00:59:30,830
All Tyneside
will be looking for us.
850
00:59:30,910 --> 00:59:33,580
- What are we gonna do?
- Pure and simple, Sewell.
851
00:59:33,670 --> 00:59:36,740
First off, we've gotta,
you know, get rid of it.
852
00:59:36,830 --> 00:59:39,300
I like it, but it's a dead giveaway.
853
00:59:39,390 --> 00:59:40,980
I can't do that.
854
00:59:41,070 --> 00:59:43,670
It's dangerous.
You have to get rid.
855
00:59:43,750 --> 00:59:46,390
I can't. I've had it for four years.
856
00:59:46,470 --> 00:59:49,430
- What?
- Me coat, I've had it four years.
857
00:59:49,510 --> 00:59:52,820
Not your bench coat. There's
something else that's gotta go.
858
00:59:54,990 --> 00:59:56,740
Aw, you can't mean it.
859
00:59:56,830 --> 00:59:58,660
That Matthew will have seen us.
860
00:59:58,750 --> 01:00:02,140
- I can 'ave him easy.
- He's a radgie, man. A psycho.
861
01:00:02,230 --> 01:00:04,300
I can't do it.
862
01:00:04,390 --> 01:00:09,310
I can do me bench coat...
at a push, but I can't do that.
863
01:00:09,390 --> 01:00:13,070
You do it. I can't. You do it.
864
01:00:15,110 --> 01:00:17,550
Don't worry, it's for the best.
865
01:00:19,030 --> 01:00:21,340
I love that dog.
866
01:00:24,070 --> 01:00:26,740
Sorry it's gotta end
this way, Rusty.
867
01:00:26,830 --> 01:00:30,190
We can't have people
seeing you now, can we?
868
01:00:30,270 --> 01:00:34,740
You've been a really nice dog.
But you're also a dead giveaway.
869
01:00:36,150 --> 01:00:40,350
You've been a good dog,
but, well, you know...
870
01:01:17,950 --> 01:01:19,910
Bridget?
871
01:01:20,830 --> 01:01:22,740
You all right, Gerry?
872
01:01:22,830 --> 01:01:27,220
Where've you been all this time?
Where've you been sleepin'?
873
01:01:31,870 --> 01:01:35,660
Floors, mainly...
floors, friends'.
874
01:01:36,750 --> 01:01:38,150
What you on?
875
01:01:38,230 --> 01:01:42,670
Owt, man, Gerry. Tac, E,
Wobbly Eggs, poppers, smack.
876
01:01:42,750 --> 01:01:45,310
What about you?
Still going mental on tac?
877
01:01:45,390 --> 01:01:47,430
- I've stopped...
- Are you carryin'?
878
01:01:47,510 --> 01:01:49,420
I told you...
879
01:01:49,510 --> 01:01:52,630
You must have something, I know
what you're like, anything.
880
01:01:52,710 --> 01:01:56,020
I am your sister. I'm desperate.
Couple of quid, anything.
881
01:01:56,110 --> 01:01:59,950
Ha'way, man, I'm beggin' you.
I need help. You fuck!
882
01:02:10,110 --> 01:02:12,070
How's Mam?
883
01:02:13,910 --> 01:02:16,510
She misses you, man, Bridge.
We all do.
884
01:02:16,590 --> 01:02:19,030
We've moved again.
He won't find us now.
885
01:02:19,110 --> 01:02:22,260
It's a canny flat.
And I've sorted out your room.
886
01:02:22,350 --> 01:02:24,310
Brought your stuff in, your poster...
887
01:02:24,390 --> 01:02:28,230
Gerry, it doesn't matter where
it is. It's not home any more.
888
01:02:28,310 --> 01:02:32,780
- This is my life.
- We can do those things we used to.
889
01:02:32,870 --> 01:02:35,830
Aye, so can me dad.
890
01:02:36,910 --> 01:02:38,140
I'll look after ya.
891
01:02:38,230 --> 01:02:41,140
It wasn't just his fists,
you know, Gerry.
892
01:02:44,510 --> 01:02:45,860
Gerry?
893
01:02:47,590 --> 01:02:50,390
Let us tell you
where the flat is.
894
01:02:50,470 --> 01:02:52,460
Gerry, I don't wanna know.
895
01:02:54,710 --> 01:02:56,990
Anyway, what are you doing
round here?
896
01:02:57,070 --> 01:02:59,630
Havin' a day out, like...
with Sewell.
897
01:02:59,710 --> 01:03:02,020
Sewell? Is he still wearin'
that bench coat?
898
01:03:02,110 --> 01:03:04,230
I bloody hope not.
899
01:03:07,230 --> 01:03:11,220
D'you want a burger?
I'll get you a burger, eh?
900
01:03:15,070 --> 01:03:16,870
Gerry!
901
01:03:16,950 --> 01:03:20,580
Deep down, you're still nothing
but a bloody angel, aren't you?
902
01:03:44,270 --> 01:03:45,860
Fuck!
903
01:03:57,550 --> 01:04:00,590
I'm not losin' it, Gerry, man.
I've decided.
904
01:04:00,670 --> 01:04:04,030
I'll wear it inside out,
but that's the limit.
905
01:04:04,110 --> 01:04:06,390
Besides, it helps
with that other matter.
906
01:04:06,470 --> 01:04:09,270
I've been thinking about that
too and it's sorted.
907
01:04:09,350 --> 01:04:12,070
All I've gotta do is wear 'im.
908
01:04:12,150 --> 01:04:13,710
Wear 'im?!
909
01:04:13,790 --> 01:04:16,100
You know, under me bench coat, like.
910
01:04:16,190 --> 01:04:18,180
What are you on about?
911
01:04:18,270 --> 01:04:22,230
You big soft lad, you.
I knew you couldn't do it.
912
01:04:22,310 --> 01:04:26,860
Tying him to a post, like.
Is that the best you could do?
913
01:04:26,950 --> 01:04:29,830
You can't keep him
under your bench coat forever.
914
01:04:29,910 --> 01:04:33,350
Just till Gateshead,
then I'll give him to Gemma -
915
01:04:33,430 --> 01:04:35,070
till it's all blown over.
916
01:04:35,150 --> 01:04:37,820
- Gemma?
- Aye, seein' her now, man.
917
01:04:37,910 --> 01:04:39,500
You're jokin'.
918
01:04:39,590 --> 01:04:40,990
Why?
919
01:04:41,070 --> 01:04:43,300
Well, you're you, and Gemma's Gemma.
920
01:04:43,390 --> 01:04:46,030
Anyway, she's engaged
to that orang-utan.
921
01:04:46,110 --> 01:04:48,020
That's all over, that is.
922
01:04:48,110 --> 01:04:51,070
Who's gonna pull your head
out of your arse first -
923
01:04:51,150 --> 01:04:53,110
mad dog Matthew or Gemma's fella?
924
01:04:53,190 --> 01:04:55,940
- I'm Gemma's fella.
- He's an ice-hockey player.
925
01:04:56,030 --> 01:04:58,670
- So?
- Have you not seen them on telly?
926
01:04:58,750 --> 01:05:01,820
They gan fucking mental.
He won't come after you alone.
927
01:05:01,910 --> 01:05:05,510
- He'll have the whole squad.
- Poofs, I can have that lot.
928
01:05:07,030 --> 01:05:09,100
Shearer shoots. One nil!
929
01:05:10,670 --> 01:05:13,420
Hey, Gerry, man.
This time next year, eh?
930
01:05:13,510 --> 01:05:16,710
You'll be dead, with a hockey
stick up your arse.
931
01:05:16,790 --> 01:05:19,990
Shearer... Two nil!
932
01:05:22,350 --> 01:05:24,660
'Shearer, Shearer... '
933
01:05:27,350 --> 01:05:29,820
What are you thinking, Gerry, man?
934
01:05:30,550 --> 01:05:32,910
It's a mad plan,
this, Gerry.
935
01:05:32,990 --> 01:05:36,140
We'll never find out
if we miss the bloody bus.
936
01:05:36,230 --> 01:05:40,220
Two minutes. I just said
I'd see her for two minutes.
937
01:05:44,750 --> 01:05:46,710
All reeght, lads?
938
01:05:47,590 --> 01:05:50,340
All reeght?
939
01:05:50,430 --> 01:05:53,660
Hey, youse look smaller
than you do on telly.
940
01:05:53,750 --> 01:05:57,270
New bench coat, Sewell, like?
'Bout time.
941
01:05:57,350 --> 01:05:59,630
Sewell, pet, I've got you some bait.
942
01:05:59,710 --> 01:06:02,670
I know you'll eat most
being so fat, like.
943
01:06:02,750 --> 01:06:05,820
But it's for you too, Gerry.
Doorsteps and cans.
944
01:06:05,910 --> 01:06:07,820
Ain't she the best, man?
945
01:06:07,910 --> 01:06:11,950
I don't know. You TV celebs
get all the perks, like.
946
01:06:12,030 --> 01:06:14,100
Ha'way, Sewell,
I need a word.
947
01:06:19,990 --> 01:06:21,950
Are they shaggin', like?
948
01:06:22,030 --> 01:06:24,780
What are you?
Inspector fuckin' Morse?
949
01:06:24,870 --> 01:06:27,390
- So where youse goin?
- Nowhere.
950
01:06:27,470 --> 01:06:29,990
Is that what
the careers officer said?
951
01:06:30,070 --> 01:06:33,670
Gerry, man... bag o' lucky dip.
952
01:06:33,750 --> 01:06:36,350
- Nah.
- Ha'way, man. A fiver, like.
953
01:06:36,430 --> 01:06:38,990
Sewell an' me's off all that now.
954
01:06:39,070 --> 01:06:41,190
Why, like?
955
01:06:41,270 --> 01:06:43,910
Ha'way, Sewell, man.
Let's get gannin' bef...
956
01:06:46,070 --> 01:06:48,220
Oh, fuck! The psycho bollocks.
957
01:06:52,510 --> 01:06:54,950
Sewell, man!
He's radgie off his head.
958
01:06:55,030 --> 01:06:56,670
For God's sake, fuckin' run!
959
01:07:00,950 --> 01:07:02,100
See ya.
960
01:07:02,190 --> 01:07:06,030
Don't ye move, man.
Don't ye fuckin' move.
961
01:07:07,310 --> 01:07:08,870
You took me dog.
962
01:07:08,950 --> 01:07:11,550
He's mine, and you took him.
963
01:07:11,630 --> 01:07:13,380
Mine!
964
01:07:15,750 --> 01:07:17,550
I didn't take him, he...
965
01:07:29,670 --> 01:07:33,140
I didn't take him.
He followed us.
966
01:07:34,990 --> 01:07:36,900
Stay!
967
01:07:41,750 --> 01:07:44,030
- See you later, Gemma.
- See you, Sewell.
968
01:07:44,110 --> 01:07:46,150
What about the hound?
969
01:07:46,230 --> 01:07:50,140
You can't leave Rusty.
You love him, you daft bloody git.
970
01:07:50,230 --> 01:07:52,830
I've got someone else to love now.
971
01:07:59,830 --> 01:08:02,740
What's so funny, like?
What are you smilin' at?
972
01:08:02,830 --> 01:08:06,510
- I'm just happy, man.
- High more like. What are you on?
973
01:08:06,590 --> 01:08:08,900
Life, man, just life.
974
01:08:13,270 --> 01:08:15,420
She's still lookin' after us,
Sewell, eh?
975
01:08:20,990 --> 01:08:24,430
You don't think this lot's
after season tickets, do you?
976
01:08:24,510 --> 01:08:27,420
No. Nae one else is that smart.
977
01:08:32,750 --> 01:08:36,900
Shearer! Shearer!
978
01:08:41,350 --> 01:08:43,470
Alan!
979
01:08:43,550 --> 01:08:45,380
- Mr Shearer!
- Alan!
980
01:08:45,470 --> 01:08:49,670
Mr Shearer! Alan!
981
01:08:49,750 --> 01:08:51,950
- Mr Shearer!
- Alan!
982
01:09:10,350 --> 01:09:12,580
What can I do for you, lads?
983
01:09:12,670 --> 01:09:15,740
Can you give us a pair
of season tickets?
984
01:09:15,830 --> 01:09:18,470
One'll do, like,
if you canna manage two.
985
01:09:28,990 --> 01:09:31,140
Gerry, man, what did you expect?
986
01:09:31,230 --> 01:09:34,110
Respect, man. I'll make them
take notice of us.
987
01:09:34,190 --> 01:09:35,990
Yeah, yeah.
988
01:09:38,630 --> 01:09:40,750
- What are you doin'?
- Get in.
989
01:09:40,830 --> 01:09:43,390
- Gerry, man.
- Just get in, will you!
990
01:09:45,750 --> 01:09:49,630
Gerry, I don't think this is
one of your better idea...
991
01:09:56,870 --> 01:09:59,910
# You are my guiding light
992
01:09:59,990 --> 01:10:01,980
# And you're shining
brighter... #
993
01:10:02,070 --> 01:10:05,860
Ha'way, Sewell, what a motor!
Right little fanny magnet this.
994
01:10:05,950 --> 01:10:08,670
Ah, Jesus! Gerry, man!
995
01:10:08,750 --> 01:10:11,310
- What?
- This isn't ANY fanny magnet.
996
01:10:11,390 --> 01:10:14,030
It's Alan bloody
Shearer's fanny magnet!
997
01:10:14,110 --> 01:10:17,100
- Eh?
- This is all his fan mail here.
998
01:10:17,190 --> 01:10:20,550
We're in Alan Shearer's
bloody motor, man.
999
01:10:20,630 --> 01:10:23,780
Aye, that'll
teach him to laugh at us.
1000
01:10:23,870 --> 01:10:28,500
Ha'way, Sewell, man.
He's got a CD player. What's he got?
1001
01:10:28,590 --> 01:10:30,500
- Oh, no, Alan.
- What?
1002
01:10:30,590 --> 01:10:32,230
It's all the old tarts.
1003
01:10:32,310 --> 01:10:36,270
Des'ree, Natalie Umbroolioolia.
1004
01:10:36,350 --> 01:10:39,950
Gabrielle?! You know
that slapper with the patch?
1005
01:10:40,030 --> 01:10:43,180
- Oh, no, no, Alan.
- What now?
1006
01:10:43,270 --> 01:10:46,020
Celine friggin' Dion!
1007
01:10:50,270 --> 01:10:52,420
We'll have to wreck it
somewhere.
1008
01:10:52,510 --> 01:10:54,870
We canna wreck it,
it's Shearer's.
1009
01:10:54,950 --> 01:10:58,150
We canna keep driving it
for the same reason.
1010
01:10:58,230 --> 01:11:02,780
Great plan, Gerry, man.
Ask Alan Shearer for season tickets,
1011
01:11:02,870 --> 01:11:05,340
and end up twoccing his bloody motor.
1012
01:11:05,430 --> 01:11:07,710
Hey, but, man, at last, eh? Eh?
1013
01:11:07,790 --> 01:11:11,230
- At last, what?
- Something to tell me grand bairns.
1014
01:11:11,310 --> 01:11:13,060
# I knew we'd be together
1015
01:11:13,150 --> 01:11:15,510
# And that you'd be mine
1016
01:11:15,590 --> 01:11:17,740
# I want you here forever
1017
01:11:17,830 --> 01:11:22,110
# I can't believe you're here
but I know that you're real
1018
01:11:22,190 --> 01:11:26,180
# I know what I want
and baby it's you
1019
01:11:26,270 --> 01:11:28,180
# Can't deny my feelings
1020
01:11:28,270 --> 01:11:30,910
# Because they are true, yeah
1021
01:11:30,990 --> 01:11:33,270
# Dreams can come true
1022
01:11:33,350 --> 01:11:35,390
# Look at me, babe, I'm with you
1023
01:11:35,470 --> 01:11:37,460
# You know you've got to have 'em
1024
01:11:37,550 --> 01:11:40,350
# You know you've got to be strong
1025
01:11:40,430 --> 01:11:42,470
# Dreams can come true... #
1026
01:11:42,550 --> 01:11:45,460
It's gotta be around
here somewhere.
1027
01:11:45,550 --> 01:11:48,940
- What?
- Newcastle.
1028
01:11:50,510 --> 01:11:53,420
# I'd seen you sometimes
on your own and... #
1029
01:11:53,510 --> 01:11:54,860
Sewell, man,
1030
01:11:54,950 --> 01:11:59,660
have you ever wondered why...
we are... like we are?
1031
01:11:59,750 --> 01:12:03,060
What? Bloody hungry and fucking lost?
1032
01:12:03,150 --> 01:12:04,980
No, I mean, what decides -
1033
01:12:05,070 --> 01:12:07,590
you're going to be brainy,
you're not,
1034
01:12:07,670 --> 01:12:09,630
you're going to be lucky,
you're not,
1035
01:12:09,710 --> 01:12:12,540
you're gonna have,
you're gonna have not.
1036
01:12:12,630 --> 01:12:16,020
Like, you're gonna be Bobby
Robson, you're gonna be Gullit?
1037
01:12:16,110 --> 01:12:19,870
Aye. You're gonna be top-drawer
and you're gonna be scum.
1038
01:12:19,950 --> 01:12:22,180
Cos that's what we are, you know.
1039
01:12:22,270 --> 01:12:24,710
Aye, top-drawer.
1040
01:12:25,870 --> 01:12:27,750
Jesus, man! What are you doin'?
1041
01:12:27,830 --> 01:12:31,350
If I wanted to listen to
a whining arsehole, I'd fart.
1042
01:12:31,430 --> 01:12:33,310
Are you goin' for a dip?
1043
01:12:33,390 --> 01:12:36,140
# You know you got to be strong
1044
01:12:36,230 --> 01:12:38,380
# Dreams can come true
1045
01:12:38,470 --> 01:12:41,140
Belter, man! It's purely belter!
1046
01:12:41,230 --> 01:12:42,980
Ha'way, man, get your kit off!
1047
01:12:43,070 --> 01:12:45,510
# You know
you got to be strong... #
1048
01:12:47,910 --> 01:12:51,190
It's freezing.
It's fucking freezing, man!
1049
01:12:51,270 --> 01:12:53,260
It's cushty.
1050
01:13:05,070 --> 01:13:07,900
Ah, I could eat
a scabby donkey, me.
1051
01:13:07,990 --> 01:13:11,980
Aye, and all
we've got's a scabby fish.
1052
01:13:12,070 --> 01:13:15,750
So where did you learn that?
Fishin' with your mitts?
1053
01:13:15,830 --> 01:13:18,270
Me dad learned us,
when I was a bairn.
1054
01:13:18,350 --> 01:13:21,790
Did he learn you lots of stuff,
your old man?
1055
01:13:21,870 --> 01:13:26,100
Me dad's not me old man.
I live wi' me granddad.
1056
01:13:26,190 --> 01:13:30,260
I just call him me dad.
I never knew me real dad...
1057
01:13:30,350 --> 01:13:32,390
or me mam.
1058
01:13:32,470 --> 01:13:34,350
What happened to them?
1059
01:13:34,430 --> 01:13:38,140
Nowt. They just went away, like.
1060
01:13:39,590 --> 01:13:42,710
I was just something
that they... didn't need.
1061
01:13:44,310 --> 01:13:47,140
Do you not... you know,
want to find them?
1062
01:13:48,350 --> 01:13:50,310
I'd only kill 'em.
1063
01:13:51,590 --> 01:13:53,710
Maybes that's what I was on about.
1064
01:13:53,790 --> 01:13:56,430
You know, what makes you
what you are.
1065
01:13:56,510 --> 01:14:01,350
Maybes that's it.
A good dad, one that loves you,
1066
01:14:01,430 --> 01:14:03,470
wants you and that.
1067
01:14:05,350 --> 01:14:08,710
A good dad.
That's what I'm gonna be.
1068
01:14:08,790 --> 01:14:10,750
Aye, me too.
1069
01:14:11,830 --> 01:14:13,900
No, Gerry, man. I mean soon.
1070
01:14:15,110 --> 01:14:18,260
I'm gonna be a father.
Gemma's... you know.
1071
01:14:21,310 --> 01:14:23,270
You sure it's yours?
1072
01:14:23,350 --> 01:14:25,550
Fuck off! Gemma's a lady.
1073
01:14:25,630 --> 01:14:28,620
Gemma's Gemma, and she's 15.
1074
01:14:28,710 --> 01:14:31,070
So we'll have longer together.
1075
01:14:33,630 --> 01:14:36,150
You could always...
it's not too late...
1076
01:14:36,230 --> 01:14:38,540
I'm happy about it, right?
Dead happy.
1077
01:14:38,630 --> 01:14:42,510
Happier than I've ever been
in my whole life. Right?
1078
01:14:50,030 --> 01:14:52,310
Jesus, man! What's that?
1079
01:14:52,390 --> 01:14:55,860
I thought we gave all that up
for our season tickets.
1080
01:14:55,950 --> 01:14:58,670
No team's that good, Gerry, man.
1081
01:15:04,230 --> 01:15:07,510
Gerry, man.
The season ticket thing...
1082
01:15:09,270 --> 01:15:14,270
That was just about havin' a bit
of fun, right? Something to do?
1083
01:15:14,350 --> 01:15:15,830
Was?
1084
01:15:15,910 --> 01:15:19,590
It was great, but...
it was just a game.
1085
01:15:19,670 --> 01:15:23,950
Dreamin' of better things, like.
Being something.
1086
01:15:24,030 --> 01:15:26,940
I don't have to dream any more.
1087
01:16:14,910 --> 01:16:18,700
I couldn't nick a bit
of ribbon off you, could I?
1088
01:16:18,790 --> 01:16:20,860
Course you can, love.
1089
01:16:23,710 --> 01:16:26,100
'Two little ducks, 22.'
1090
01:16:27,750 --> 01:16:30,660
Them famous steps, it's 39.
1091
01:16:33,150 --> 01:16:35,980
Those lovely legs, 11.
1092
01:16:38,790 --> 01:16:42,550
Top of the shop, blind 90.
1093
01:16:44,670 --> 01:16:47,550
Two fat ladies, 88.
1094
01:16:47,630 --> 01:16:50,100
Gerry, are you all right, Son?
1095
01:16:50,190 --> 01:16:53,580
I only need one.
I only need number eight.
1096
01:16:53,670 --> 01:16:57,140
Eight, come on. This is it,
number eight. Eight, eight.
1097
01:16:57,230 --> 01:17:00,590
Alan Shearer, number nine.
1098
01:17:00,670 --> 01:17:02,020
House!
1099
01:17:02,110 --> 01:17:03,940
Ah, fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
1100
01:17:04,030 --> 01:17:06,940
The University of Life, Son.
You've just graduated!
1101
01:17:07,030 --> 01:17:09,470
House call on number nine.
1102
01:17:09,550 --> 01:17:12,670
Checking for any more calls
on number nine?
1103
01:17:12,750 --> 01:17:15,790
Checking one call for number nine.
1104
01:17:17,950 --> 01:17:20,260
You all right, Mam?
1105
01:17:39,870 --> 01:17:42,230
I think I'm sick this time, Son.
1106
01:17:45,110 --> 01:17:47,310
The doctor says you'll be all right.
1107
01:17:47,390 --> 01:17:51,350
What would he know? He's only 11.
1108
01:17:53,590 --> 01:17:56,660
Nah, Son. Think I'm knackered.
1109
01:17:58,710 --> 01:18:01,910
Gerry, pet, let us get
some rest, will you?
1110
01:18:01,990 --> 01:18:03,950
I'm tired.
1111
01:18:51,590 --> 01:18:54,790
# I'm the trouble starter,
punking instigator
1112
01:18:58,270 --> 01:19:01,390
# I'm the fear addicted
danger illustrated... #
1113
01:19:01,470 --> 01:19:04,510
- Hiya.
- I got you a tea.
1114
01:19:04,590 --> 01:19:07,500
Ta. I got you this.
1115
01:19:10,430 --> 01:19:12,390
It's massive, man, Sewell.
1116
01:19:12,470 --> 01:19:15,220
Aye, but, you're scoffing
for two now, like.
1117
01:19:21,070 --> 01:19:23,740
I'm 15, man.
I cannot handle all that stuff.
1118
01:19:23,830 --> 01:19:26,870
I had to do it, Sewell.
I had no choice.
1119
01:19:26,950 --> 01:19:29,020
If he'd found out,
that would've been it.
1120
01:19:29,110 --> 01:19:32,900
Sewell, man, you're a dead nice lad,
and I love you loads.
1121
01:19:32,990 --> 01:19:36,220
It's just Zak's got a job...
a future.
1122
01:19:36,310 --> 01:19:38,270
And you've got...
1123
01:19:40,590 --> 01:19:43,580
I've got a chance,
you know, a real chance
1124
01:19:43,670 --> 01:19:45,820
to have a decent life.
1125
01:19:49,350 --> 01:19:51,740
You understand that, don't you?
1126
01:19:53,550 --> 01:19:54,900
Sewell?
1127
01:20:18,990 --> 01:20:20,710
You, you bastard!
1128
01:20:26,310 --> 01:20:29,460
# I'm the trouble starter,
punking instigator
1129
01:20:32,910 --> 01:20:36,460
# I'm the fear addicted,
danger illustrated... #
1130
01:20:53,590 --> 01:20:57,900
# Maybe I didn't treat you
1131
01:20:57,990 --> 01:21:01,980
# Quite as good as I should have
1132
01:21:04,110 --> 01:21:09,190
# Maybe I didn't love you
1133
01:21:09,270 --> 01:21:12,230
# Quite as often as I could
1134
01:21:14,630 --> 01:21:19,860
# Little things
I should have said and done
1135
01:21:19,950 --> 01:21:25,030
# I just never took the time
1136
01:21:25,110 --> 01:21:30,710
# You were always on my mind
1137
01:21:30,790 --> 01:21:34,390
# You were always on my mind... #
1138
01:21:34,470 --> 01:21:35,900
- Mam's sick.
- Eh?
1139
01:21:35,990 --> 01:21:37,740
She's in hospital, man.
1140
01:21:37,830 --> 01:21:40,870
Do I look like somebody
who gives a fuck?
1141
01:21:40,950 --> 01:21:42,590
# All those lonely... #
1142
01:21:42,670 --> 01:21:46,300
You should do.
You put her there!
1143
01:21:46,390 --> 01:21:49,430
# And I guess
I never told you... #
1144
01:21:49,510 --> 01:21:52,030
Dad! Dad!
1145
01:21:52,110 --> 01:21:54,310
# I'm so happy
that you're mine... #
1146
01:21:54,390 --> 01:21:57,430
- Dad!
- Ah, jeez, fuck off, Son, eh?
1147
01:21:57,510 --> 01:22:02,220
# If I said you were second best
1148
01:22:02,310 --> 01:22:07,470
# Girl, I'm so sorry I was blind
1149
01:22:07,550 --> 01:22:12,070
# You were always on my mind
1150
01:22:12,350 --> 01:22:16,900
# You were always on my mind
1151
01:22:16,990 --> 01:22:22,020
# So tell me
1152
01:22:22,110 --> 01:22:26,980
# Tell me that our true love
hasn't died
1153
01:22:27,070 --> 01:22:32,350
# Girl, tell me
1154
01:22:32,430 --> 01:22:37,380
# Give me one more chance
to make you satisfied
1155
01:22:37,470 --> 01:22:40,430
# Satisfied #
1156
01:22:47,350 --> 01:22:49,340
Fuck, Sewell, man.
What happened?
1157
01:22:49,430 --> 01:22:51,740
You should see the state of them.
1158
01:22:51,830 --> 01:22:53,790
What are you doing, man?
1159
01:22:56,310 --> 01:23:00,270
I'm like you, man, Sewell,
still waitin' for them better things.
1160
01:23:14,350 --> 01:23:18,420
I hope you're right proud
of yourself, you big fucking twat!
1161
01:23:18,510 --> 01:23:20,710
You were meant to see us through!
1162
01:23:27,390 --> 01:23:29,540
So what made you come here?
1163
01:23:31,510 --> 01:23:33,470
I dunno.
1164
01:23:38,790 --> 01:23:41,230
It's the only way.
All in one job.
1165
01:23:41,310 --> 01:23:43,460
One big job. Are you with us?
1166
01:23:43,550 --> 01:23:45,750
- Yeah, when though?
- Today.
1167
01:23:45,830 --> 01:23:47,260
- Today?
- Now.
1168
01:23:47,350 --> 01:23:48,700
Where?
1169
01:23:48,790 --> 01:23:52,070
Dunno, wherever we are
when we've finished the song.
1170
01:23:52,150 --> 01:23:54,820
- No turning back, right?
- No turning back.
1171
01:23:54,910 --> 01:23:58,460
It'll be great, man.
We'll be sittin' in our own seats.
1172
01:23:58,550 --> 01:24:00,300
We'll go to every match.
1173
01:24:00,390 --> 01:24:03,270
# Ah, me lads,
you shoulda seen us gannin'... #
1174
01:24:03,350 --> 01:24:06,340
Aye, drinkin' our tea.
Two sugars, dead milky.
1175
01:24:06,430 --> 01:24:09,310
# Passin' the folks along the road
just as they were stannin'... #
1176
01:24:09,390 --> 01:24:11,300
- No one annoying us.
- Belter.
1177
01:24:11,390 --> 01:24:12,740
Purely belter.
1178
01:24:12,830 --> 01:24:15,060
# Lads and lasses there
all with smilin' faces
1179
01:24:15,150 --> 01:24:19,990
# Ganin' down the Scotswood Road
to see the Blaydon Races #
1180
01:24:20,070 --> 01:24:23,060
Fuck! Gerry, man, are you sure?
1181
01:24:25,470 --> 01:24:28,940
- No turnin' back, right?
- Aye, but... what's the plan, like?
1182
01:24:31,590 --> 01:24:35,140
There isn't one.
Take your jacket off.
1183
01:24:46,670 --> 01:24:50,270
Ha'way, Gerry, son. You all right?
You all right, Sewell?
1184
01:24:50,350 --> 01:24:53,260
- All right, Auntie Maud.
- Mrs Jackson.
1185
01:24:53,350 --> 01:24:57,390
What are you two playin' at? You
look like you're robbin' the bank.
1186
01:24:57,470 --> 01:24:59,510
No, just... just cold, like.
1187
01:24:59,590 --> 01:25:02,660
How's your mam?
I hear she's had a turn, like.
1188
01:25:02,750 --> 01:25:06,740
Look, we canna stop, Auntie Maud,
we're in a rush, like.
1189
01:25:06,830 --> 01:25:08,870
Aye, no rest for the wicked, eh?
1190
01:25:08,950 --> 01:25:10,350
- See ya.
- See ya.
1191
01:25:12,750 --> 01:25:14,100
Stay here.
1192
01:25:24,270 --> 01:25:27,150
- Next window, please.
- I'm robbin' the bank.
1193
01:25:27,230 --> 01:25:30,350
- Sorry?
- I'm robbin' the bank!
1194
01:25:30,430 --> 01:25:32,180
Next window, please.
1195
01:25:34,990 --> 01:25:36,340
Sorry?
1196
01:25:39,390 --> 01:25:42,430
- Give us a thousand pounds.
- Got an account number?
1197
01:25:42,510 --> 01:25:45,180
No, but I've got a fuckin' gun!
1198
01:25:45,270 --> 01:25:47,830
Come on now, son.
A joke's a joke.
1199
01:25:47,910 --> 01:25:52,060
This isn't a fuckin' joke! Laugh
again and I'll blow your head off!
1200
01:25:52,150 --> 01:25:54,540
Now give us a thousand pounds!
1201
01:25:56,070 --> 01:25:59,270
Give him the money...
or this fella gets it!
1202
01:26:01,590 --> 01:26:05,660
All right. All right, now calm down.
Just a thousand.
1203
01:26:05,750 --> 01:26:07,630
Erm... yeah.
1204
01:26:07,710 --> 01:26:09,940
- You only want a thousand?
- Yeah.
1205
01:26:10,030 --> 01:26:12,590
- How do you want it?
- What?! How do I want it?
1206
01:26:12,670 --> 01:26:15,030
I don't know. Quickly!
1207
01:26:15,110 --> 01:26:18,660
I've only got 300 in my drawer,
I'll have to go back there.
1208
01:26:18,750 --> 01:26:21,580
All right. But don't you dare
press any buttons.
1209
01:26:25,590 --> 01:26:27,550
That's just a coat.
1210
01:26:27,630 --> 01:26:29,620
You haven't got a gun.
1211
01:26:31,630 --> 01:26:33,590
You can't be sure.
1212
01:26:33,670 --> 01:26:34,990
Pretty sure.
1213
01:26:36,390 --> 01:26:37,900
There's nothin' in there.
1214
01:26:37,990 --> 01:26:39,660
Come on. Come on!
1215
01:26:39,750 --> 01:26:42,790
Not 100% sure though, though,
are you?
1216
01:26:42,870 --> 01:26:45,830
Well, then...
1217
01:26:45,910 --> 01:26:48,550
Take a walk if you feel lucky.
1218
01:26:51,790 --> 01:26:54,940
Do you feel lucky... punk?
1219
01:26:56,150 --> 01:26:58,110
Actually, I do, quite.
1220
01:26:59,670 --> 01:27:01,580
Gerry, man.
1221
01:27:01,670 --> 01:27:04,500
Don't use my friggin' name,
Sewell, man. Ah, shite!
1222
01:27:07,630 --> 01:27:09,430
Good God, man!
1223
01:27:13,270 --> 01:27:14,620
Jesus, man!
1224
01:27:14,710 --> 01:27:18,470
Give it here, man. Give it here!
1225
01:27:20,350 --> 01:27:23,790
You fucker, man!
Give it here! Give it, man.
1226
01:27:23,870 --> 01:27:27,150
Ha'way, Gerry, man.
I mean, Kevin, man.
1227
01:27:27,230 --> 01:27:28,980
Let's go! Leave it!
1228
01:27:29,070 --> 01:27:31,270
Armed police!
1229
01:27:32,790 --> 01:27:35,180
Armed police! Hold it!
1230
01:27:35,270 --> 01:27:38,310
It was only for our tickets.
That's all.
1231
01:27:41,630 --> 01:27:45,310
Nearly a fuckin' year.
And this is all we've got.
1232
01:27:45,390 --> 01:27:49,780
Are we gonna split it, like?
Fifty-fifty?
1233
01:27:49,870 --> 01:27:52,180
It's not funny, Sewell, man.
1234
01:27:52,270 --> 01:27:55,390
We can give it to me dad
when he visits.
1235
01:27:55,470 --> 01:27:57,300
He can bury it somewhere.
1236
01:27:57,390 --> 01:28:00,270
He'll never remember
where he buried it, like, but...
1237
01:28:00,350 --> 01:28:03,420
If he did, we could escape
and fly to Spain.
1238
01:28:03,510 --> 01:28:06,580
Splash out on a couple of
season passes to Juventus.
1239
01:28:08,790 --> 01:28:10,140
Two teas.
1240
01:28:12,950 --> 01:28:15,100
Can I have mine more milky?
1241
01:28:16,670 --> 01:28:19,550
- Which one's McCarten?
- Me.
1242
01:28:19,630 --> 01:28:23,750
Er, the hospital's been on.
There's some bad news, like.
1243
01:28:28,470 --> 01:28:31,860
In the silence of this hour,
speak to us of eternal things,
1244
01:28:31,950 --> 01:28:35,070
that through comfort
of the scriptures we may have hope,
1245
01:28:35,150 --> 01:28:39,380
and be lifted above our darkness
into the light of thy presence.
1246
01:28:39,470 --> 01:28:41,940
Through Jesus Christ
Our Lord, Amen.
1247
01:28:42,030 --> 01:28:45,910
And now we say
a final farewell to a much loved
1248
01:28:45,990 --> 01:28:48,380
and fondly cherished
member of our community.
1249
01:28:48,470 --> 01:28:52,180
A loyal friend, doting father,
a loving husband...
1250
01:28:52,270 --> 01:28:55,580
cruelly taken from us during
a moment's lack of concentration
1251
01:28:55,670 --> 01:28:58,950
crossing the inner ring road
late last Thursday night.
1252
01:28:59,030 --> 01:29:02,260
We will all miss Billy McCarten.
1253
01:29:02,350 --> 01:29:04,790
Thank fuck the bus driver didn't.
1254
01:29:07,910 --> 01:29:11,270
Please all stand for the hymn,
Now Thank We All Our God.
1255
01:29:18,310 --> 01:29:20,590
Despite hearing
very positive accounts
1256
01:29:20,670 --> 01:29:23,710
regarding the characters
of these two youths,
1257
01:29:23,790 --> 01:29:28,150
it would be remiss to ignore
the gravity of this misdemeanour.
1258
01:29:28,230 --> 01:29:30,980
Your spelling's coming on.
1259
01:29:31,070 --> 01:29:33,060
The evidence heard plainly indicates
1260
01:29:33,150 --> 01:29:36,270
that this was hardly
the work of hardened criminals.
1261
01:29:36,350 --> 01:29:40,310
Indeed, the fact the accused put
a ceiling limit on their demands
1262
01:29:40,390 --> 01:29:45,860
leads one to suspect this was
quite clearly a first-time effort.
1263
01:29:45,950 --> 01:29:49,910
In the hope that it will
also be a LAST time,
1264
01:29:49,990 --> 01:29:54,750
I sentence Gerald McCarten
and James Sewell
1265
01:29:54,830 --> 01:30:00,110
each to 200 hours' community
service over the next 12 months.
1266
01:30:02,750 --> 01:30:04,870
It'll fly by.
1267
01:30:12,590 --> 01:30:15,310
- Hello, lads.
- There you are, Miss Whittaker.
1268
01:30:15,390 --> 01:30:16,740
Thank you.
1269
01:30:19,510 --> 01:30:22,580
- Here you are, Mrs Snowden.
- Thank you, dear.
1270
01:30:26,750 --> 01:30:28,550
Thank you.
1271
01:30:38,470 --> 01:30:40,220
All right, Mrs Nelson.
1272
01:30:56,070 --> 01:30:58,950
- Hello, Beryl, pet.
- Hiya, big lads.
1273
01:30:59,030 --> 01:31:02,180
- How are youse two?
- All right, Beryl, pet. You?
1274
01:31:02,270 --> 01:31:06,030
All the better for seeing you.
Come in. Come in.
1275
01:31:07,470 --> 01:31:11,860
- Here you are, Beryl.
- Thanks, me little angels.
1276
01:31:11,950 --> 01:31:16,740
Aye! It's nearly time, lads.
Your tea's on the side there.
1277
01:31:16,830 --> 01:31:19,270
- I'll see you later.
- Thanks, Beryl.
1278
01:31:19,350 --> 01:31:20,830
See you later, Beryl.
1279
01:31:30,430 --> 01:31:34,060
- Belter, eh?
- Aye, purely belter.
1280
01:31:54,030 --> 01:31:56,780
# Daddy can't buy me an XR3
1281
01:31:56,870 --> 01:32:00,470
# So if I see what I like,
well, I don't need keys
1282
01:32:00,550 --> 01:32:03,860
# I'm gonna race all day
round the country lanes
1283
01:32:03,950 --> 01:32:07,910
# Far away from the tube
and the sirens wailing
1284
01:32:15,110 --> 01:32:18,180
# Row by row
they've assembled clones
1285
01:32:18,270 --> 01:32:21,470
# All these lovely little
houses with the no go zones
1286
01:32:21,550 --> 01:32:25,340
# On the 22nd floor
and the view is great
1287
01:32:25,430 --> 01:32:28,950
# Smoke stacks, car wrecks,
housewives wailing
1288
01:32:36,030 --> 01:32:39,230
# No excuses, no more trials
1289
01:32:39,310 --> 01:32:43,940
# Every happy ending lies
1290
01:32:49,150 --> 01:32:52,430
# Closing the door, wishing for more
1291
01:32:52,510 --> 01:32:54,630
# Closing my eyes
1292
01:32:55,910 --> 01:33:01,830
# Listening to sirens harmonise
1293
01:33:03,790 --> 01:33:06,780
# All tanked up
it's an adhesive bliss
1294
01:33:06,870 --> 01:33:10,180
# I know everyone around me
sees the world like this
1295
01:33:10,270 --> 01:33:13,790
# I'm a product
of the crack squad YTS
1296
01:33:13,870 --> 01:33:17,940
# I've got a kneejerk reaction
like the SAS
1297
01:33:24,870 --> 01:33:28,100
# No excuses, no more trials
1298
01:33:28,190 --> 01:33:31,470
# Every happy ending lies
1299
01:33:31,550 --> 01:33:35,020
# Someone's laughing, someone cries
1300
01:33:35,110 --> 01:33:39,420
# No one's happy all the time
1301
01:33:52,870 --> 01:33:55,830
# Row by row
they've assembled clones
1302
01:33:55,910 --> 01:33:59,270
# All these lovely little
houses with the no go zones
1303
01:33:59,350 --> 01:34:02,710
# On the 22nd floor
and the view is great
1304
01:34:02,790 --> 01:34:06,700
# Smoke stacks, car wrecks,
housewives wailing
1305
01:34:13,710 --> 01:34:16,910
# No excuses, no more trials
1306
01:34:16,990 --> 01:34:21,670
# Every happy ending lies
1307
01:34:26,910 --> 01:34:29,950
# Closing the door, wishing for more
1308
01:34:30,030 --> 01:34:32,260
# Closing my eyes
1309
01:34:33,750 --> 01:34:39,380
# Listening to sirens harmonise #
1310
01:34:39,470 --> 01:34:41,670
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